It’s weird, just last Saturday Jessy was over here and I was showing her some of my older photographs.
“This is my all-time favorite,” I said, pulling up this photo I took of Kara in 2008 in one of the bathrooms at Zenith.
Then a couple days later, Kara was like, “Hey let’s go to lunch at Zenith this week.” Almost as if she could sense her picture being shown!
So I met her and her baby Harland there on Thursday for BBQ seitan sandwiches. The best waiter in the world, Keith, was our server! I love that guy; he has this natural charm to him, like he could just pull up a chair and join you and it wouldn’t be weird or awkward at all. The Gypsy Cafe needs a Keith. They should find a way to clone him so they can get rid of the guy who spills champagne on people’s heads.
Halfway through the meal, Harland reached his arms out to me. Kara laughed and said, “I think he wants you to hold him, Erin!”
Me and babies? Not really so tight. Don’t get me wrong – Harland is a sweetheart and I like to look him, but keeping some distance between us is imperative. However, I wanted to be a good friend and give Kara some free hands with which to eat, so I took Harland from her and we walked around, looking at the art and antiques strewn around the restaurant.
Kara said Harland doesn’t let anyone keep him from her for more than like a minute or something, but for some reason he was like, “Nah, lady, this is cool. I’m not gon’ cry. Now take me over there so I can fondle some pumpkins.” Kara thought this was funny, me being all uncomfortable with a baby in my arms. I think Harland can sense that and does this to me on purpose. After all these years, someone has finally come along to give me a taste of my own medicine. That baby is mega manipulative.
Together, we scoped out a painting of a topless broad. He was cool with that.
I finally gave him back to Kara and sat back down. But Harland toddled back over to me, sat on my lap, and stole my roll! What the fuck, Harland?! This is payback for writing that haiku about your mom’s butt crack, isn’t it?!
All joking aside, he’s good for a one-year-old. I never took Chooch out to eat without Henry when he was that age, because he made me a nervous wreck. But Harland is quiet and well-behaved. Kara and I must have read opposing parenting books.
Before we left, we checked out the bathroom for old time’s sake. It’s green now! But still the best bathroom in Pittsburgh, as far as I’m concerned. I snapped this with my phone, because I felt we needed an updated version now that Harland is around.
I came home from lunch and promptly iced my arm from all the baby-carrying (I’m way out of practice). Henry asked accusingly, “Wait – she took Harland? Then why didn’t you take Chooch?!”
Chooch, eating lunch in an antique shop? Has Henry not met our son?