Jan 142011

“What about ghosts?” Chooch asked after Henry urged him to stop putting his weener on things.

“If you can find one, fine,” Henry said tiredly, followed by a sigh and exhausted eye rub. Henry knows when to avoid an argument; living with me for all these years has made him a seasoned pro at it. He knows that had he said “Not even on a ghost!” Chooch would have just continued on down the line.

“A hot air balloon?”


“Jason Voorhees?”

“Not if you want to keep it.”

“Sarah Palin’s eyeballs?”

“Ew no!”

It’s a futile war we’re fighting. Chooch is a boy, for Christ’s sake. Ain’t no way, no how, he’s going to stop using everything at his fingertips as a weener rest. I know I wouldn’t. I’d have mine cloaked in a fur pelt and stuffed inside the hose of a vaccuum cleaner RIGHT NOW.

  10 Responses to “Weener Placement: A Serious Discussion”

  1. trust me, I know exactly what he’s going through, I still, in my adult life, like to rest my weiner anywhere I can (might be why I’ve got so many kids)

  2. I find it absolutely hilarious that not only does your boy know who Sarah Palin is, but that she came to mind for things to put his weewee on. ;)

    • Haha, he might know who he is, but that was actually a made-up conversation of what would have transpired if Henry hadn’t said “fine” about the ghosts. The list would have went on ad nauseum.

  3. That’s muh boy!

  4. Thanks for making me choke on wasabi peas!

  5. Weiners are pretty fun! While I don’t have my own, my husband has one-and I like it!!! TMI? well, I’m your girl. My friend has been hunting for toddler sized onesies so she can keep her sons locked up at night, apparently he puts it through quit the vigorious stretching and pulling experiences. Oh yeah, and it’s a whole new kind of o…m…g when they hit puberty. That’s all I will say as the mother of a 14 yr old boy.

  6. Sounds like this is the new black. I better tell Paul!

  7. Love that kid! All of this is pretty much expected developmentally, just another lovely trait of most boys… As long as he’s not feeling shamed and feels comfortable asking questions it sounds like all is well, though I’ll be sure to think twice about what surfaces I’ll eat off of at your place now…

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