Lifesaving (Hopefully) Flashlights

Sometime during dinner at King’s after roller skating last week, Kim managed to twist my arm into not only joining the local ghost hunting group she and Chris belong to, but also to RSVP for the upcoming hunt which takes place tomorrow night at an abandoned elementary school. The group organizer sent out an email reminding everyone to bring their flashlight(s) and extra batteries, as there is obviously no electricity flowing through this desolate site. (And no working facilities, either, though there will be buckets. The first twinge of my bladder and I am OUT of there.)

I was whining about the flashlight thing at work today, because I know Henry isn’t going to let me borrow his. He is oddly possessive of his flashlight. My co-worker Jeannie mentioned that she had flashlights in her desk, and Barb and I were like, “Yeah right.” But Jeannie led me back to her office and sure enough, she had two little flashlights inside a desk drawer. Plus extra batteries, even! What a fucking lifesaver she is.

[Also, Jeannie had the balls to wear purple on black and gold day, as did I, so she is definitely one of my favorite co-workers of all time. (When Steelers-lovin’ co-workers gave me the stink eye, Barb kept trying to defend me by saying things like, “She’s not wearing purple! It’s eggplant! Merlot! Burgandy!” No, it’s INTENTIONAL! Ugh, I hate the Steelers.)]

When I came back to my desk, Barb was all, “Now that I think about it, I actually have a flashlight too.” What the fuck, was The Law Firm giving them away as Christmas gifts?

So now I have three miniature flashlights and extra batteries. Don’t worry, I’ll be stealing Henry’s gigantic industrial flashlight too. I’m sure he can go one night without sexing it.

In the car today, I cried to Henry about my fear of dying at the hand of  paranormal activity.

“What if I don’t make it out alive? Then we can’t go roller skating on Sunday!”

“Oh, we’ll still go roller skating,” Henry corrected, motioning between himself and Chooch, and at the sight of my appalled expression, he continued, “What? You won’t even be laid out until at least Monday. We’ll be fine to go skating.”

My other concern is being possessed by some ridiculously dark spirit while I’m there. Crab-walking and involuntary head-spins really aren’t my thing.

“It can’t be any worse than what’s already in you,” Henry wagered.

OMG I’m scared.