I received a really fantastic Etsy convo on Saturday, full of smiley-faced demands tempered with back-handed compliments:
hello fellow zombie lover!
i wanted to contact you regarding your “i love you like a zombie loves brains” love notecard. i have been using a very similar saying(“i love you more than zombies love brains”) on my work and selling it on etsy and through other venues since 2007 on ceramic dishes as well as screen printed cards. the zombie dishes have been in national publications(BUST, OCT/NOV 2007). i just saw your listing on etsy today for the first time. i’m hoping you would please consider discontinuing this design with this particular text or at least changing the tagline to something else? i saw your other cards with the same zombie drawing (which is AMAZINGLY adorable btw) and they super cute. i don’t have an issue with the image at all, just the tagline.
i did a search for the whole zombies love brains thing today and was shocked* to see all the products. i can’t help but feel like my undead toes are being stepped on a bit. so, i have sent out quite a few convos. but seriously, i really do love your products, they are right up my alley (but trust me – i don’t necessarily love the others i have been convo-ing – haha). let me know what you think about this.
here is my first ever listing of zombies like brains plate – sold on 3.5.07:
here is the “love” version that followed shortly afterward – this is a more recent listing:
the saying in card format:
i am hoping to resolve this directly with you and avoid contacting etsy because i know we can handle it discreetly on our own. we can co-exist in zombie-land together!
At first, I was like, “Oh shit, am I going to get sued?” I was with my Law Firm co-worker/friend Wendy when the convo was sent to my phone and I immediately read it her. She was basically like, “You’re fine. Fuck that” and waved it off. Then I sent it to my fellow zombie pal Andrea who was like, “She’s high if she thinks she coined that phrase. Eff her in the eye!” Of course, there are a million things I want to say to this broad, but Henry has urged me to just not say anything at all. That has proven very hard, and my patience is REALLY being exercised.
Anyway, this latest convo officially replaces this one I got last year as my new favorite:
I read your profile to confirm what I thought was so obvious … that you must be male. In fact, I was certain, you must be a young male. Your stories & language & interests made my conclusions so obvious.
What I couldn’t understand was that I appreciate the ‘bird art’ of such a person.
Well, I was clearly wrong about your gender. Perhaps even your age. As to my appreciation of your birds, this clearly requires that I consider a bit more about myself!
[*BECAUSE YOU DID NOT MAKE UP THIS TAGLINE, JESUS CHRIST!]