Mar 092011

I was trying to put Chooch’s coat on him this morning before school, when he quite earnestly asked, “What makes me have dreams?”

Great. Anything more than, “What is your name?” and  “Name the cast of the Jersey Shore” is too hard of a question to dump on me pre-8:00am. “I don’t know. Your brain, I guess,” I mumbled, struggling with the zipper.

Chooch made a very agitated noise, and then spat, “Well, I hate my brain.” He paused, (waiting for me to ask why, I’m sure, which never happened because I was too busy being gagged by a yawn) before explaining, “Because it made me dream about Dora.”

Poor child. I would hate that brain, too.


Today’s Show n Tell is for the letter S. I gave him my Sid & Marty Kroft Sigmund the Sea Monster plushie to take. I originally was going to let him take his play sword, but Henry was like, “Um, no. They’re not allowed to take swords.”

“What? Why? Where does it say that?” I asked, wondering if there was some bulletin I missed (which would pretty much be all of the bulletins).

“Um, they’re not allowed to take anything that resembles a weapon. It pretty much says that everywhere, in every school.” He said this using his “I’m talking to my 8-year-old daughter” voice, then he gave me that patronizing once-over with his eyes while shaking his head sadly.

Well, sorry that I clearly did not know that. When I was in kindergarten, I wore a charm belt to school and one of the charms was A REVOLVER. Twenty-five years later, and I haven’t shot anyone. Yet.

  8 Responses to “A Conversation Before a School Which Has an Unwritten Weapons Policy”

  1. the day is still young.

  2. Save humanity, a toy sword! We’re all doomed! LOL!

  3. It’s so ridiculous how crazy they get over “weapons”. :(
    Although Derek had a play box cutter razor and I don’t know how many people would freak out when they would visit and think it was real.
    I think it’s more for the people who can’t tell the difference between a toy and a real gun or sword.
    When Derek was really small, I decided no guns, but before I knew it he was making guns out of sticks and legos, so I gave up. I guess what I’m trying to say is stupid as it may seem to me now, I’ve been on both sides of the fence. :)

  4. Yeah, it’s zero tolerance when it comes to the weapons thing, which can be crazy in situations like that. And I agree, I’d be pretty pissed at my brain too if I were thinking about Dora.

  5. You r going to think I am a wack job for telling u this but I had a dream I visited u for your birthday and henry was super thin. So weird.

    Brains might taste good but they def make u dream crazy shit for sure.

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