Jul 222008
 

Urgent. Will die without reading.

  • 09:41 I really hope I don’t die from a stabbing. I keep daydreaming about it though.
  • 09:54 In the car, chooch & I flipped out at the same time over a passing playground; a good indication of my mental age.
  • 20:19 It doesn’t feel like summer to me unless there’s swimming in the afternoon and horror movies at night.

  • 11:50 Today, chooch is really into storing things down my shirt. A bit uncomfortable.
  • 11:53 Eric Nies and his fucking jumprope DVD can go anally probe themselves. My calves have welts from aerobic flaggellation.
  • 11:55 Just bought 2 Lost Boys figurines for myself. I mean, for Chooch. He unforch doesn’t yet understand e-shopping & wants them NOW.
  • 12:07  I don’t approve of any of the ppl looking at the vacant side of my duplex. Time to pull out the Viking metal & Satanist propaganda.
  • 16:41 One of my co-workers is encouraging me to contact Corey Haim so he can see he’s in love w/ me. God I work with a bunch of enablers.
  • 18:02 I asked Henry if he still thought I was pretty. His answer was "when your face is on my penis." Now that’s love.
  • 20:48 Henry won’t get involved in bento box lunches because "those are so gay looking". Yeah but – so is he.
  • 22:10 Kim had me blowing up balloons for some broad’s bday tomorrow, because she knows I blow hard. Now my fingers stink of balloon rubber.

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* Quite possibly one of the worst Internet services EVER. Mostly I end up doing these  manually because I’m too fucking OCD to say fuck it and drink a fucking Jack and Coke instead and OMG I’m clenching.

 

  13 Responses to “Tweets: I’m their prisoner”

  1. They have Lost Boys figurines? How is it that I did not know about this??

  2. One of my co-workers is encouraging me to contact Corey Haim so he can see he’s in love w/ me.

    You should totally comment on stories about him on Defamer and include your blog address cause he totally reads Defamer and when he sees how much you love him and how cool you are he’ll totally fall in love. That’s the way it works on the internet. You have so much in common, you’re both e-famous with your tiny cult followings. Actually you’re probably way ahead of him, as I’m sure you’ve never eBayed your hair and teeth.

  3. No offense mang, but I’m 100% behind Henry and his Bento Box stance. (and that leaves me wide open to frolic in the whole gay fiasco myself)

  4. # 11:55 Just bought 2 Lost Boys figurines for myself. I mean, for Chooch. He unforch doesn’t yet understand e-shopping & wants them NOW.

    chooch doesn’t have henry’s patience…

    how are the welts?

  5. i am ashamed to say i am amped to see lost boys 2. and must find it TODAY to watch or i’ll die.

    figurines? right on. gotta get those, too.

    when you and corey haim are lovers, invite me over for dinner. or have his assistant call to invite me, k?

    • I have it on my Netflix queue — July 29th, baby! I know I’m going to be disappointed – I saw a trailer awhile ago and it looked low-low-low budget. But Taylor from The O.C. is in it!

  6. that was my reasoning on it, too, that Taylor’s in it! *squeal*
    i said to this justin and he’s like “which one is she? kiki’s dad’s illegitimate daughter?”
    and i grew angry cos he didn’t pay enough attention to know which one Taylor was! douche.

    • GOD, JUSTIN!

      Man, I’m still mourning that show’s cancellation. I don’t care what the haters say — The O.C. was GOOD. And Julie was just starting to act like a human being!

  7. i KNOW. i was horribly offended by him on this matter.
    i hate that i didn’t find that show earlier on, man.
    i’m gonna buy the whole fucking series one day.

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