Chooch

Dec 232013
 

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I was surprised when I met Never Shout Never. they mean so much to me like this much ——————————————————————————————————– that’s how much they mean to me.

When we met them, I did NOT know what we were going to do. So Jason was there, I told him that I wanted to meet Christofer Drew and then he said “yeah and I want to meet Christina Hendricks.” When we walked into the room to meet them I was like OMG really you’re making me meet them? OMG. Christofer said nice shirt and I said thanks, actually I was shy. He took my hat off of me and put his hat on me and my hat on him and I felt like OMG now I have his ghost inside my hat and my ghost inside of his hat. I got my picture with them I still was shy. Christofer gave me a guitar pick I broke real quick on an accident. They told me to play the tuba and that I would get all the girls haha and then they told me to go to Chicago with them.

My favorite part of the night was when they played my favorite song Lost at Sea. It’s on the album Time Travel. When they played it I sang the whole song.

OMG I finally met them and I probably will never again.

You should listen to Harmony. It’s an album. My favorite song on that album is First Dance! And Trampoline. Actually, Trampoline is mommy’s most favorite.

Nov 162013
 

GHOUL MANSION:

when we were in line a bloody nurse tried to lick us not daddy though. When we were inside we had to go down in the basement we got separated from henrys beard we had to stand in the dark which we didn’t have to it was all erin’s idea. erin was too scared to move and leave daddy alone I thought she hated daddy!

this dude came and scared us and we said “where is henry?!” and the dude said “I ate him” and we were like “no seriously” he was like “HENNNRRRY!!!!!” Then when we went around the corner after henry finally came back a clown had one of those little horn things and it was like BEEEEEP.

then we had to go up steps and a kid was down there and was like “Can I eat you” and then we finally got up the steps. and then like four rooms later we were walking down this hall then the same kid that was under the steps saying can I eat you and I was like “aw crap” in my mind. and he was like “remember me? I was under the steps! I wanted to eat you! can I eat you alive? can I eat you alive” and then finally we got through that hall and had to go through another hall and that kid was still following us. henry was in front of us and I was like “i’m gonna push you” I said that to the kid, so I pushed him and still I couldn’t get past him.

“I gave a high five to a clown it was awesome I really liked the haunted house”.(:

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DEMON HOUSE

Erin got off work at nine picked up JANNA “GOD FORBID” Erin got lost because Henry gave us bad directions mommy scared me bad. Mommy lied to me and said that demon house wasn’t scary. when we finally got there, well we didn’t get to the haunted house yet, we had to drive on a bus because mommy crashed into a tree, just kidding. there was no one there so we didn’t have to stand in line. I brought Murder Victim with me, a stuffed dog.

when we got to the demon house for real we sat by a fire and a dude called our number so we had to go up and he talked to us about something and made janna knock on the door. it wasn’t scary though. it was just a cave. like a fake cave made out of fake stone. it was like a mine. Murder Victim was scared.

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Once we got out of the cave we had to walk through a forest and then this clown said “follow me!” Then we heard vrrrrooooooooom three chainsaw guys came out of the forest we pushed Janna into one. Me and mommy went the wrong way one chainsaw guy said “that way.” Then we got to the real haunted house.

I hate writing.

My favorite part inside the house was going upstairs and playing hide and seek when these two people wanted to play hide and seek and they said “if you find ME, you’ll be dead!! If you find HER you’ll be safe!” So we found her. In the second room this guy said IS THIS YOUR MOMMY I was like “yeah who the eff would she be??” He was like “well she’s a terrible mom for bringing you here!!!”

Oh yeah at the end of the haunted house Dr Who was there! He was like ready for time travel? Scream YAY TIME TRAVEL! Louder! YAY TIME TRAVEL! I can’t hear you, louder! So we had to go through this maze thing that wasn’t really a maze he was like GO THAT WAY! I like Dr Who.

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At the end, Janna god forbid wanted APPLE CIDER but I wanted hot chocolate. What a good day for hot chocolate. I got to have a glow stick and we sat and watched Ghostbusters first then when that was over we say by the fire. It was really warm. I put Murder Victim on Janna’s lap and Erin was like “where’s Murder Victim?” I was like on Janna’s lap you dumbass! But before that I lost him for real but I got him back.

I liked Demon house I was not scared. Erin and Janna were.

Nov 052013
 

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We drove for like, how long? Two hours I guess. idiot Janna was with us and god for bid Henry put like 40 jackets on me.

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when we got in line this BUNNY-DEAD KILL ME it was chasing everyone else BUT then a gas mask dude  I wanted the BUNNY-KILL ME and the gas mask dude to chase me but then some dead jester thing came out of nowhere with a stick with a skeleton thing on top and got in my face, slammed his stick with the skeleton into the ground but henry told us to go in line with him because it was shorter and there was this glass window thing in the register and I looked right through it and saw the bunny dude’s face.

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so now we’re inside and first came Clown Town. the best of all is The Fog, number 10. Each one was in a different part of the park and we had to walk to each one. and henry and janna were talking about having to pee all the time, that’s all they did.

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Me and my 40 jackets.

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mommy was scared but nothing was even in there!!! All I saw was when we went into the merry go round I looked to the right and saw these two clowns looking on their phones. iphones, I guess.

haunted hotel Conneaut scared me the most. Mommy told me “ghosts are real” because they are. to prove that ghosts are real, I slammed my right leg on the step! wonder who pushed me mommy or a ghost?? then this ju-on lady just came out of nowhere in this dark room. I saw it first, no one else saw it. it was like gonna slam her hand on my leg but then I did this—hop!

when we were in line after the hotel Conneaut for apocalypse zombie we had to walk on this boardwalk when it ended these two dudes came running at us. I wasn’t even scared. mommy is the one who came running behind janna and henry. then the chainsaw guy came. back to the mommy was running scared part, those guys were like touching mommy and janna and henry but not me at all.

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last house on the left. I did not think it was scary, when we went in, we had to go upstairs. this dude had a metal stick and slammed it on the wall and then we went THE WRONG WAY BECAUSE OF MOMMY so then we had to go through a black curtain or something. when we went through the curtains we had to walk through a living room and this girl came popping out of nowhere and said “do you know what the fox says?!” and I was like “a ring ding ding ding ding” and she was like “good job!” and then we came to another guy who said “do you want to know what the fox says? it says nothing!” This guy in a pig mask was like on the right of mommy and mommy didn’t even notice it. he was a bloody pig guy, just with a pig mask on.

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this was after we walked through Demon House with all the bubbles at the end. After we came out of the Devils Den we passed this kitten named Boots. It was cute. The end. Hope you enjoyed! write a comment!

Oct 272013
 

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Scaremare

It was at an old bank full of Gangsters.  We had to crawl twice. One time we had to crawl    like for 2 minutes. I saw a real snake and Mother didn’t see it. At the end the tour guide said ”this is the time you go in one by one” Daddy had to go first he said “F*** IT I’ll go in alone :(“. at the beginning this Old man in the 1920’s like daddy’s age screaming about the Children behind bars. And we had to sing HAHA EAGOR YOU CANT GET US NANANANA then he broke through the bars like THIS: IIII:)IIII.    This lady in front of us THAT DADDY LIKED THAT TOLD US TO hide her from the ring around the rosey  grandma that told me I stole her cat so she told me to check mommy’s weird purse so I pushed it. I loved the haunted house

 

THE END

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Sewickley Methodist Haunted Church:

Janna wouldn’t go with us. because she got a new kitten named Ted Nugent it was to dumb to leave it alone. At the beginning there was this fake spider from the HALLOWEEN STORE.  This guy in a red mask said what’s your name I said Riley mommy said Erin and Henry said Henry The guy in the red mask said Erin more like Smelvin  witch doesn’t even make sense BUT IT WAS FUNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYY  BECAUSE I WOULDN’T STOP CALLING HER THAT!!! I got to spin the wheel and it landed on door one of death I’d rather go in door two of terror. The guy that was dressed like a girl was from a TV show called Wheel of Fortune named Vanna White. I never even watched Wheel of Fortune. The janitor which wasn’t really the janitor hung himself on a rope and had really big teeth. I loved the haunted church this year!! last year um I forgot what happened last year. i’ll just say it was good. maybe next time Janna wont be an idiot and will leave her kitten TED NUGENT that’ll teach you a lesson JANNA! LEAVE YOUR CAT IT CANT OPEN WINDOWS OR GRAB THE NOB OF THE DOOR!!!

Cheeseman Fright Farm:
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In line I had to go to the bathroom. I went in the boys bathroom but there was this like 10 year old and he was POOPING in the stall and the urinal was too high so I couldn’t use it so I had to use the girls bathroom no one was in there. it was awkward.

Michael Myers was chasing everybody in line. the people in front of us were like ‘oh well crap Michael Myers is in line’

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the hayride part well I kept saying hi to all the monsters they said hi back. The chainsaw guys kept putting their chainsaws in the hay right by laura she was so scared ha-ha. Anyway look at her face in the picture. Jason was in a tractor and it came out of nowhere from the hay shooting fire out from the pipes. It made me feel hot. well it did! The fire went right in my face. The haunted house part we got out of the hay tractor I guess that is what you would call it, and we were going in through a hay tunnel I realized I was in front and I was like “no no no” so I turned around and squeezed past laura to be in the middle.  Mommy was scared because I popped out of nowhere and she screamed AAAHHHH.

There was this guy holding a fake snake  but there was a real snake behind him in a tank. He was like “like my cat? wanna pet it?” I was like “oh it’s a cute cat I wanna pet it!” He was like “OK go head!” This girl from a graveyard screamed in my face, popped out of nowhere like a butterfly and I was like “well I can scream louder!” and I screamed, so.

I liked it. I had fun. And that’s when I liked chainsaw guys. Please don’t make me write about the picture with Michael Myers.

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Oct 142013
 

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We are outside of castle blood and my face is green for some reason like the green man in a tunnel. are quest  today was to find a scull,st0ne and a scroll I got the scull henry got the death scroll and Mommy got the stone. my favorite room was the science room and there was some crazy person in it. i don’t want to say anything about when i saw Katelyn.

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Terror Town was not scary I told mommy to go in the back she was scared. Laura was in the FRONT I was in the middle. My ears were covered the whole time because there was screaming and the lady that opened the door for when we go in told us that there was real ghost haunting the place that’s what scared me  and this guy called me a chicken nugget and then a pig came over and said ohh a child ghh ghh. HI THIS IS ERIN. I guess it’s my turn to write about  my favorite part of Terror Town, which was definitely when the pushy woman in line behind us didn’t get to go in at the same time as us, because we probably would have been giving her and her kids piggy back rides through the whole thing judging by the way they stood so close to our backs when we were in line. I WAS NOT GOING TO LET THEM GET IN FRONT OF US. I HATE LINE JUMPERS!!!!

now it’s back to me at the end of the haunted house there was this guy in a grave yard and he looked like Freddy Kruger

because his shadow had a hat and was crouched down. When it was over I got a lollypop from this guy.

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At the haunted trail at haunted hills hayride .com  OH MOMMY REMINDED ME ABOUT GOD FOR BID JANNA MET US THERE AND MOMMY AND LOURA TOLD ME TO HIDE FROM GOD FOR BID JANNA. the picture shows a sad clown in my FACE. personal space, NOT. when we were in line we  were the first ones in line the lady told us to get in a single file line when we were in the hut there was a cut off real head and told us the rules he said use kind words but I put up the middle finger and he saw what I did. But I was like “oh s**t he saw what I did” And the dumbness begins.

 

there was a grandma actor she said to me eat this rat tail num num num. And she told everyone else to lick grandfather’s heart but the good thing is that it was in a jar. And she said that she liked ERINS PURSE :tip: everyone says that.

I was so mad because I was wearing my new shoes and it was muddy I was pissed. THEY WERE NEW!!!

 

 

 

 

Oct 052013
 

MOMMY IS THE BEST she took me to see Nevershoutnever! I saw a balloon I wanted to touch it but people were hitting it with there speed boost hands. THE RED JUMPSUIT SUCKS!!! HINT:SO DOES HENRY!?!??!?

My favorite song was CheaterCheaterBestFriendEater. The Red Jumpsuit sang 13 songs I said Erin kill me and I also said AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT. When NeverShoutNever was on Erin told me to tell the security that Christofer Drew Ingle was my brother and he left his BubbleGum in the car.  Mommy said write about the nevershoutnever “trouble” and how I almost cried even though I didn’t. me and Mommy saw this guys ass crack it was funny but we saw that guy again and mommy didn’t see this but he did a round off. Me and mommy kept making fun of daddys man boobs and he didn’t know.

This is Erin. Chooch said it’s my turn to write one sentence. So….my favorite song of the night was “On the Brightside” and Chooch just said, “Oh god, I knew you were going to write ‘On the Brightside’.” Well, then don’t ask!!! Back to Chooch.

By the way when the red jumpsuit was playing there was this guy that looked like Justin Bieber. The band before that was Maps And Atlases it was the best band ever but not as good as nevershoutnever. I loved my surprise it was awesome.

THE END
*****

Chooch displays his awesome cinematography skills:


Cheatercheaterbestfriendeater:

Aug 092013
 

this is all my favorite bands

[nevershoutnever}  {thesummerset I like boomerang} I’m a boomerang yeah yeah {wecameasromans I like ghost} i like  this song it’s boomerang!!! :) i like lightning in a bottle but i cant sing it in front of grandma because it has the f*** word in it im catching lightning in a bottle don’t give a f*** about tomorrow yeah i’m dancing in the backseat we don’t need gravity here in the afterglow yeah were rolling with the thunder!!! :)

what are your favorite bands? :o

 

May 142013
 

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When we went to DelGrosso’s mommy really wanted to go on the wacky worm so we did. then we went on the crazy mouse daddy did not want to go on it because he’s such a crybaby because of the big hill. so he didn’t go on anything grandma went on the crazy mouse ;-) twice and the marry-go-round and the yoyo witch is the swings. mommy went on the super SPIRAL and the XTREAM (I put that in capital letters because it’s so XTREAM ) :cry: mommy peed her pants :lol:

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ME AND MOMMY WENT ON THE Casino. I got a picture with buddy witch is a bear. Dumb dumb Daddy won me a tiger I named it Tony I won 2 things a fish & a bear. It was mothers day and my mother rules and daddy doesn’t.

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I was going to win this game but this stinky lady dumbest lady in the hole wide world cheated for this 4 year old and I was so freaking madddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd the game was called water races.

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I like amusement parks because there’s roller coasters and swings and some water rides.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Apr 062013
 

On the way to LAND CASTER we saw wind meals and big blue puffy things and mommy was so scared! She was like

sssssssssssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiittttttttttttttt! A N D CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

. HINT IF you want to scare Erin give her a gift with a big blue puffy thing in it and a wind meal in it.

[Ed.Note: Big blue puffy things = water towers. Thanks, Chooch.]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Feb 172013
 

Yesterday I went to castle blood for their valentine show and there were a lot of pop-up monsters and jannas fortune didn,t love her and daddy peed his pants!Daddy got yelled at for not turning off his phone and mommy was not awesome the whole time. I was awesome the whole time and i got to rip a hart out of a monster and it said i never loved you any way! Katelyn (my frenemy) gave me cookies and love potion.

Today Mommy had to get her dumb fruit and Daddy acted like a idiot who is at work and he knows everything about the weird asian market and it smells like fish in there

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They still wont let me get a durian!!!!!

Feb 152013
 

I got a splinter and blah blah Daddy hurt it really bad. i wish i never had a splinter…it felt really bad…daddy had to use a pin and tweezers…he was torchering me.

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Erin’s 2 cents:

My favorite part was at the very beginning of this incident, where Chooch learned that he had a splinter in his foot. He very casually said, “Huh. My foot kind of hurts. Did I step on something?” As soon as I said the “s” word, he fucking FLIPPED HIS SHIT. He’s never had a splinter before so I’m not sure how he knew that this was going to turn from mildly irritating to OMG I’M BEING KILLED. Maybe it was a lunch table topic one day at school.

He just stood there yelling in front of me, so I said, “Um….go upstairs and tell daddy.”

Which loosely translates into “Tell your dad to deal with this shit.”

Moments later I heard this ungodly, high-pitched shriek so I ran upstairs to spectate. I mean, Chooch + Splinter + a tweezer-wielding Henry = Must See TV.

What I found was a red-faced child flailing on my bed. Henry, ignoring the melodrama, held him in one place with one hand clamped around his ankle, the other hand scraping away at the dead skin around the splinter. He looked so patient, his mouth pursed in quiet concentration. I don’t know Henry does it!

Meanwhile, Chooch’s head was tossed back, one hand draped across his forehead, and he was screaming, “I HATE YOU DADDY! I WISH THIS NEVER HAPPENED! DADDY YOU’RE HURTING ME!!!” It was the performance of a lifetime.

I’d like to take this opportunity to remind you that we live in a duplex and our neighbors were very much home. I had to counter with my own yells: “IT’S JUST A SPLINTER! DADDY IS JUST TRYING TO HELP! PLEASE NEIGHBORS DON’T CALL THE POLICE!”

Moments later, the splinter had been extracted and Chooch’s tear ducts miraculously plugged themselves. After all that. Life went on.

An hour later, we were watching a man writhing in pain post-zombie attack on The Walking Dead. “He looks just like me after I got a splinter,” Chooch observed sadly, without an ounce of sarcasm.

The next morning, we were walking to school. I still had a limp from the Big Bowling Ball Boo-Boo, which Chooch noted and scoffed, “My limp is worse than your limp.”

“It totally is not!” I cried.

“Yeah, it is. My foot injury is way worse than yours,” he argued.

“You had a splinter. I had a BOWLING BALL DROPPED ON MY FOOT!!”

“Yeah,” he replied smugly. “And the splinter was worse.”

Yeah well….I wrote more sentences than him!