Nov 172023
  1. Remember two years ago when I wrecked our 6mth old car in the cemetery – literally crashed into an ancient road marker – and I was so terrified of my MEAN SON being MEAN to me so I told him Henry did it and then Henry had to go along with it (“Yes, I am a big dumb idiot man, I crashed the car because I am stupid and reckless.”) which meant also telling everyone he worked with that he did it because one of his co-workers at the time was the best friend of his OTHER son who was living next door to us at the time and if HE knew the truth it was possible that something would slip and Chooch would find out? PANT PANT. The WEB OF LIES! The spiraling fibs! Are you following??!!

Well, last weekend I decided I couldn’t keep the secret any longer and texted Chooch to come downstairs for a family meeting. He was like NO I AM COMFORTABLE IN BED, WATCHING TV so I had to go upstairs and tell him and he was like “ok and? Is that all? You actually wanted me to get dressed and come downstairs for THAT?” Also, he said he doesn’t even remember any of this so that’s nice. Good for me. Got that off my chest.


2. Henry and I had an argument tonight because one time 20 years ago we were on a haunted hayride and I said something hilarious and he didn’t laugh and then some older woman said a discount version of my joke and he laughed so hard he was practically choking. I brought it up just now because it is clearly something that still PISSES ME OFF and he claims this never happened so I said LET ME PULL OUT MY HAUNTED HOUSE JOURNAL FROM THAT YEAR because I am sure I wrote about it while crushing the pen in my hand, imagining it was…OTHER THINGS. “Oh ok like I believe ANYTHING you write in your JOURNALS!” he just scoffed and now we will spend the rest of the eve arguing about THAT remark so let me get round 2 started with this unflattering photo of him trying to look unbothered while eating JARRED HERRING at the neighbor’s house last week!!! 😡

(Lowkey I just took both of those stories straight from my Instagram captions because I am too L-Z to rewrite it for this landmine of broken grammar.)

3. Speaking of the neighbors! We just came back from having tea and snacks with Tamanna and her older son. Well, he just sits there and tries to his best to watch things on his phone to block us out, but she often needs his assistance with translations so he is a good kid and sticks around. Anyway, I was honest with her and told her that I am attempting to diet – not really DIET per se, but I am back to food journaling because the stress of life and the world in general lately has been unraveling all of my hard work over the last 10 years. So, I’m just trying to stay on track with my nutrition. However! While we were there, my stomach was rumbling pretty bad and I mentioned that I wasn’t feeling too great. Probably GAS, but she asked me if I wanted something for it. I was like, “Yes please” thinking she was going to come back with Tums or something, but instead she had a large jar of honey, right? BUT IT WASN’T HONEY. It was a mysterious blend of spices that she ground up herself from an ancient recipe, I don’t know, and she was like, “Take one spoonful then drink water, my daughter and I love this, we lost 5kg.” OH THIS IS SOME KIND OF NATURAL WEIGHT LOSS WITCHERY? Lemme at it! I took that spoonful down like a fucking CHAMP because WEIGHT LOSS YOU SAY? Anyway, it was P O T E N T as expected but also very very very interesting. There was definitely ginger in it, but also a bunch of more savory spices that I couldn’t place because I’m not one of them there cookers, you know?  Anyway, she said I should notice a difference tomorrow and if I want, I can come back for another spoonful. OK watch me be knockin’ on her door every day. She found a hook me, you guys!

4. I found a way to incorporate one of my favorite clown pictures into a piece of furniture and I am very excited about it!

5. What do my fellow American friends reading this have planned for Thanksgiving? We go back and forth between sometimes having a “big”ish dinner to not giving a shit. This is one of the not giving a shit years. We were originally going to pre-order food from Onion Maiden, but true to fucking form, they had “issues” with their online ordering and then within 15 minutes the one thing that I wanted was sold out, which launched Henry into his THESE FUCKING ‘RESTAURANTS’ THESE DAYS rant which Onion Maiden ALWAYS has him pulling out the soapbox for, so we were like, “Fuck it, Zenith it is.” At least with Zenith, if you order during the window they provide, you know you’re going to have food on Thanksgiving Day. Henry said, “THIS IS IT, I AM DONE WITH ONION MAIDEN. IT WOULD BE LESS ANNOYING TO DRIVE TO COLUMBUS TO GET SEITAN REALM’S PRE-COOKED THANKSGIVING MEALS!!” I mean, also much more delicious too. But I’m happy that we get Zenith for Thanksgiving! The ol’ tried and true – and their cakes are the best so I’ll be content.

Chooch and I used to have a tradition of watching birthday party videos on YouTube and making fun of the kids. Maybe we will revive that trend this year. Who knows. He will probably tell us that morning that he has to work.

Dude, I have nothing else left in me. This Friday 5 is terrible but when aren’t they?!

Nov 142023

Here’s some quick 3 THINGS for you:

  • In a Herculean feat of Adulting, I made the unilateral decision to stay home Thanksgiving weekend. Our tradition since 2018 I think had been to choose an open amusement park and do a road trip ( with the exception of 2020 of course) and this time around we were going to go to Nickelodeon World or whatever inside the American Dream Mall in NJ. But when I say that Coaster vacation that I am STILL recapping left us living paycheck to paycheck here for a bit, wooo boy. So instead, we’re going to do a daytrip to an H-Mart in Maryland. So, like, destination grocery shopping you guys! The only kind of grocery shopping I can get behind.

  • The cats are still living on high alert thanks to the GUTTER GUYS who are taking forever. I don’t mind it too much but they are borderline derelicts and the leader is SO LOUD. It legit sounds like he is so pissed off but he actually isn’t?? At least twice an hour, I hear a HUGE COMMOTION/clattering and then “OH SHIT U AWRIGHT??” Pregnant pause. “...yeah. Yeah I’m good. Ow.” And there’s a broad who is part of the crew – Margot. The leader calls her BABE constantly. She doesn’t seem to mind though so I guess I don’t mind either, I dunno. Also before they made it to our house, they were at the next house over pulling out bushes and shit. They removed a lilac tree and I started to panic bc we also have a lilac tree, one that I have a love/hate relationship with, BUT it gives us some shielding from HNC’s house so I didn’t want it to be removed. I asked the leader one day, “you’re not gonna take my lilac tree are you?” I even used PRAYER HANDS which is a tactic I like to employ when I’m playing the role of ANTI-KERIN aka ANGEL BABY ERIN. “Yeah I’m sorry, I’m under orders to take it—Nah im just playing!! I won’t take your tree. That tree is too nice! I promise you’re tree is safe” and I was like “ok whew, close one amirite!” And then he proceeds to tell me every time I see him that my tree is safe. Ok guy, cool! Got it. Meanwhile I caught one of his workers pissing on HNC’s house and I want to NARC so bad bc I’m a grown up tattler but I also don’t want my tree to be felled in retaliation.
  • I took some more photos of chooch over the weekend to go into the consideration pile for senior portraits. He was so pissed off too because he had just come from this coding class he’s taking at Pitt (he’s getting paid $13/hr for it btw, and they gave him a brand new Surface Pro, why am I constantly so jealous of my kid) and it’s an all-day thing, 9-4, so he was “tired” and wanted “to relax” and even rationalized at one point that he will be senior until June so there is plenty of time to take pictures (I hate him lol) but then he eventually caved because I was a total manipulative mom (exactly what he always says that I am and I deny it but then prove him right within hours). So we went to our fave location, Jefferson Memorial, bc I thought it would be special to get some shots there. So, that happened. Got a few keepers!


Nov 112023

Wow I was going to write this on Friday so it would be a Friday Five but then I forgot so here’s a Saturday (S)five I guess:


Dude, I’m sitting here having a Pineapple Upside Down Cake beer from this local beer joint and it is the 4th beer from this place that I have really loved. “I think this is my favorite beer personality or whatever,” I said to Henry and he knew what I meant because he has spent the last 20+ years decoding my dumbness.

Honestly though if you live in Pgh and you can procure for me their Jelly Donut one, I will love you bigly. That was my gateway beer into Hitchhiker Addiction and it’s my favorite so far. But of course I haven’t been able to find it since then and they don’t have it at their two locations. It’s legit all I want for Christmas. (OK that’s a lie, there’s a lot of things I want for Christmas, let’s be real.)

Henry and I went to Market District in search for other beers that I might like. Aside from this current Hitchhiker delight, I had a sip of some Doghead thingie pumpkin ale and it was OK. When Henry asked if I liked it, I said, “Yeah I guess but it tastes like beer so I don’t want to drink it again.” Like, if I had ordered this at a bar (or berr as I just typed), I would probably drink it down with only a light grimace but I wouldn’t be stoked about it. I tasted no pumpkin!!

Anyway, this Hitchhiker beer is a SOUR which I have been told that I LIKE but I had one in Chicago that I definitely did NOT like, so you tell me.

2. The Resort

Dude?! I am a bit behind the times on this one since I think it originally aired in 2022, but I remembered last week that we have Peacock on Roku and I needed a sitcom to watch while walking in place in the morning because the weather has not been inspirational for my AM walks and my pathetic life revolves around step counts since what, 2012? 2013? Wow, literally at least 10 years of That Pedometer Life. I hate myself.

Anyway, first I binge-watched Based on a True Story which was fun but then there is a thing that happens with a dog which, IYKYK, totally killed the spirit of the show for me.  I see no reason at all why that needed to happen, but OK. Cook on, show writers. So then I was like, “OK what is this now” and started watching the first episode of the Resort without reading the synopsis because “Oh the guy from the Good Place and Mother from How I Met Your Mother!” The first episode was very slow and I admittedly was looking at my phone a lot but then a turn was taken and just like that, bam, I was in. This show was SO GOOD. I was very sad that it was only 8 or 9 episodes and I zipped through it in like 3 days. That’s fast for me! I’m not a binge’r!!

Holy shit, this beer is getting me to me. Hello, are you still here? Am I still here?

3. That Damn WayV Song!!

I’m still on that WayV tip. “On My Youth” has taken over my life for the past week. It gives me that raw, inconsolable, “My heart is like a tooth with cavity and I’m going to keep swishing with this song like it’s hot tea spiked with bourbon, make it hurt more please!!!” feeling similar to Howard Hewett’s “This Love Is Forever” presented to me back in the 90s when I became obsessed with it after seeing the video probably on MIDNIGHT STORM or whatever BET’s late night love song video marathon was called. Quiet Storm?? No, that was on the local R&B radio station I think??

Earth to Erin!! God, this beer.

So, I used to listen to this Howard Hewett song on repeat AND WEEP. I remember vividly sleeping over my Aunt Susie’s house on NYE in 1994 because my BFF Christy and I were house-and-dog sitting for her and my uncle Mark, and I legit curled up in the fetal position and sobbed while listening to this song, totally torturing myself because I was going through probably the 17th breakup with JUSTIN KAIL, like he even rates anymore and shit I wish I had listened to Christy that night when she told me this sternly in 87 different ways, but I think on some level, this song hit me in ways where I was experiencing feelings that I didn’t understand, like I was mourning a loss that I couldn’t remember?! DOES THAT MAKE SENSE??

I told my friend Veronica this on IG because she is my only Sister from an Imaginary Korean Mister, and I knew she would GET IT and she GOT IT. She said the strings this song remind her of a movie from the 70s or 80s, a theme song from that movie, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. “Mahogany?” she suggested, and that sent me on a DIANA ROSS spiral because that damn song of hers from that movie made me feel like I had suffered the most incredible loss as I listened to it in my Pappap’s kitchen at the ripe age of 4.

Anyway, here is another version of the WayV song in question. The ending where all the different parts of the song merge together just KILLS ME DEAD. (I still prefer the Chinese version so much more but they seem to be predominately performing the English one so what can you do.)

Kun is such a bias wrecker.


LOL here’s the Howard Hewett video too!

OMG the amount of mix tapes that contained that song, you guys. I had a sickness. A big one.

Ugh, I’m 15 again crying in my stupid purple bedroom.

J/K my bedroom wasn’t stupid it was fucking awesome. The predecessor to my very specific interior design tastes.

I wonder if Christy’s eye would start twitching if I sent her this song right now…

5.  Henry Wants Me to Say “Henry” for #5

I’ll allow it ONLY because he has been galloping toward the finish line re: SEOUL SUBWAY SIGN REDUX today and it is actually kind of attractive I guess. He did something cool with the audio portion of the sign this time around, which made me exclaim, “Hey so you could like, make a doorbell from scratch then?” and he was like, “Yeah, I could. Oh. Goddammit,” as he realized he just signed on to a second project when this one isn’t even done LOL j/k he’s already working on another project right now too so the doorbell would be project #3.


OK now I’m going to go and sample one more beer before it’s CUT-OFF time. My limit is like one full beer.

Wait I’m back. Here’s one thing I don’t like in November, like absolutely fucking despise:

UGH SO DISGUSTING!!! I almost spit it out everywhere and started to frantically cough in a way that it was scraping the taste from my throat. I hate this!!!! Roll off a cliff and die, Urban Artifact you sick fuck!!!

if I ordered this at a bar or restaurant, I would have shouted “THIS IS DISGUSTING!” to everyone within earshot and beyond as a public service.

Nov 032023

Sorry, I needed that to rhyme because I have a disorder. I feel like I haven’t done a Friday Five in a while and today is Friday so what better day to resuscitate this dumb series?

  1. I know you guys probably thought I’d still be obsessing over the Taemin comeback, and I am! I am. BUT. Just listen. Listen, Linda. WayV came out of leftfield with their best song yet, IMO and I haven’t been able to stop listening to and dissecting it. I even got JANNA obsessed with it. I think she’s mostly just happy that it’s the one NCT unit that doesn’t include Haechan so I can’t scream, “WHO’S THAT JANNA??” whenever Haechan has screen time. Anyway, this song does that thing that presses down on something in my brain that makes me nostalgic for something that I can’t explain?? It feels like my heart is breaking and you know, like a toothache, I have a love/hate with that feeling because I’m psycho. I will share both Chinese and English versions with you because I’m such a sweetheart.

Kun is such a bias wrecker for me in this song particularly. Jesus.

2. I talked to my landlord for the first time ever last week. Just to put that in perspective, I have rented this place since 1999 (ughhh) but his dad was the OG landlord (and an awesome one at that). But after he died, the son took over in 2007 and it’s been not great since. Anyway!! You know it’s dire straits if I actually initiate conversation with these types of people on my own, but I saw him hulking around last week because he’s apparently come into some money and is “sprucing up the properties.” Mm. Watch the rent go up, but anyway. I come flying out of the house and he’s like, “Oh Erin I’m glad you’re home—” and I cut him off and start firing off questions to him about the new neighbors because as I mentioned earlier, I am actually losing sleep over this situation and am so stressed out trying to help them get everything in order, these poor sweet people!!! UGH. Also, LOL I had no idea this guy even knew my name / who I am because Henry does all the dealings with him because he’s afraid I’ll lose my temper and get us evicted, but whatever. The whole point of this is that I got stuck talking to the dude for over 30 minutes and there were two occasions when he said really terrible things but I was too stunned by anger to open my mouth and speak up and have been dwelling on this for a week now and I really hate myself:

    • 1. He said that he gave the neighbor, Tamanna, a nickname. I’m thinking that it’s going to be something based on her personality or something related to the fact that she bakes a mean loaf of bread (Mean Loaf, maybe?) but NO. It’s TAMMY. “I told her that when you come to America, you can’t expect Americans to assimilate to YOU. We shouldn’t have to struggle to learn a long or difficult name. So – Tammy!” WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU KIDDING ME. Watch me NEVER call her Tammy. Watch me call her by her actual, beautiful name because fuck America, for real. OMG. FURTHERMORE HIS WIFE IS LITERALLY FROM CHINA. WHY IS HE LIKE THIS. HE DIDN’T CHANGE HER NAME TO MARY.
    • 2. Apparently, another Afghan (OH I’M SORRY, “AFGHANI” – because they’re objects, might as well call his wife ORIENTAL while we’re at, JESUS CHRIST) family was renting one of his other properties and don’t you know that when they moved out, they left it cleaner than it was when he bought it? AND HE BOUGHT IT FROM SOMEONE WITH OCD. Um, OK. Great story. But wait, he’s not done. “And it’s just crazy to think about it you know, since they came here after, what, living in a hut with dirt floors? But I guess they did what they could to keep the dirt floors clean too, probably.”  Yeah. I needed to swish my skull with acid after that chat.

3. Chooch had me read some of his draft college essays and….Jesus. Thank god this kid is such a math and computer whiz because….just because. The one essay had something to do with, I can’t remember, it doesn’t matter. But it began with something about how before he started high school, he never thought about computer science, he never thought about anything. HE. NEVER. THOUGHT. ABOUT. ANYTHING. This was in an essay. An essay that COLLEGES ARE GOING TO READ and be like, “Well, we don’t want someone who doesn’t think. Next.” I knew what he was trying to say, that he never thought about any future career path at that point because he goes on to talk about a class he took in 9th grade that shifted everything for him, so he was on the right track but OMG I’m not rewriting his essays for him, don’t get it twisted, but I am certainly pointing things out and saying, “Let’s uh, rethink this sentence here, shall we?”

Then there was one about his time in Mexico. “Really? You had ‘though-provoking discussions about socio-political issues’?” I screamed incredulously.

“Yeah,” he said. And then, “Well, I didn’t. But Julian [his roommate] did. And I was there. So.”

Then in the same essay he mentioned going to a playground and playing soccer with a group of younger boys who only spoke Spanish and there was a broken slide there. “What’s the point of mentioning the broken slide? Did you fix it for them or something?” and he goes, “No….but do you think I should say that??”


He also used “tantalizing” in one of them and I made him change it so fast before my body cringed so hard that it caved in on itself. “You didn’t use ‘scintillating’ in here anywhere, too, did you?” I asked, feeling fully assaulted. Ugh.

4. We were over the neighbors’ one night last week and, please remember that we are either sitting there in silence smiling at our hands as they rest in our laps or we’re struggling to use Google Translate in Conversation mode. It’s…so difficult but worth it when we’re able to establish a groove. This is usually only when the 13-year-old boy is around though because what I’m learning, I THINK, is that Turkish is his main language, but Dari is his mom’s main language, so he is better at Google translate than she is since Dari isn’t on there and she has to default to Turkish. If he is across the room, he knows before she even finishes speaking into the phone that it’s going to be wrong, and he’ll cluck his tongue and come over to do it for her. It’s adorable, really. Anyway!! This one particular night, we were sitting there, and the 10-year-old boy came downstairs. He grabbed the remote from the 13yo (we gave them Chooch’s old smart TV because I dunno what this agency is doing – like please give this family some creature comforts, you know? I know a TV isn’t technically a necessity but come on. Anyway! He grabs the remote and changes whatever his brother was watching on YouTube and I wasn’t paying attention until I realized, “Hark! Is that….KOREAN that I hear?” You guys, the way the Korean language makes me feel, it’s inexplicable. I imagine it’s how some people are so drawn to French. Korean is my French, boy. It makes my ear drums and heart feel like they’re wrapped up in the warmest, fluffiest blankest on Christmas Eve. Just so comfortable and familiar. OK, so that happens and then I go, “STRAY KIDS?” and Henry and I exchange a HA! look because STRAY KIDS. The kid looks at me and goes, “Stray Kids.” And I ask, “DO YOU LIKE STRAY KIDS??” and he legit gives me this look like, “Duh, who doesn’t??” so then I showed him videos on my phone from when Henry and I went to see them in 2022! Then I pushed it too far by asking if he also likes NCT. He looked at me blankly so I showed him a picture and he quickly waved them off and said, “No.” Wow, ok, so I have work to do. Challenge accepted. I will mold this child into a NCTzen before you know it, don’t fret.

5. We got a new storm door put on last week after years of not having one because it was like 206 years old and was so broken that Henry eventually just ripped it off like A MAD MAN. It will be nice in the spring and summer to keep the door open like old times. I’m hoping that by then, my cats will have adjusted to it because right now, they are living in fear of The Door.

It’s really concerning sometimes how freaking skittish these two are! Well, Drew way more so than Penelope. I think Penelope has already acclimated to it but Drew just stares at it in fear regardless if the main door is open or not. SHE KNOWS THAT THERE IS ANOTHER DOOR BEHIND IT NOW AND SHE DOESN’T LIKE IT.

Well, that’s all for me. I have to go back to watching NCT content on YouTube now while asking Henry, “Is it done yet? Is it done yet?” re: my upgraded Seoul Subway Sign.

Sep 242023

You know how sometimes people say, “I could really use a weekend doing nothing”? Anytime I try to be like Those People and “appreciate” do-nothing weekends, I end up writhing in psychological agony on the floor, arm flopped over my forehead, etc etc.

Henry was SICK this weekend, and Chooch was “so tired” on Saturday that both of them basically slept the whole entire day and it was RAINING and COLD almost all weekend too so I couldn’t even occupy myself with copious neighborhood walks.

I mean, sure I could have gone like, to THE STORE or something but ew. Why would I.

Anyway, here are some pictures from my stupid boring weekend:

We bought two cans of this fruit ale at HMart last Monday and finally cracked them open Friday night (Henry was only partially sick at that point I guess). I love this beer! Probably because it tasted mostly like white grapes, almost like if white grape juice was poured in a glass previously filled with beer and the glass wasn’t rinsed out first.

Now we have regrets because this would be so good for the not-Xmas party we’re having but we’ll likely have to go to another Hmart to get more and the closest one is like 4 hours away or something. Fucking stupid ass Pittsburgh.

All Penelope wanted to do was sleep her life away on Saturday too and it was so annoying!!

Literally all I did on Saturday was:

  • Read
  • Return a library book / go for a walk
  • Start to watch a horror movie but paused it on the opening credits and then never returned to it
  • Watched more of season one of The Summer I Turned Pretty because I just binge-read all three books in like 4 days lol.
  • Edited pictures
  • Blogged
  • Designed the invitation to the Not-Xmas party
  • Watched a YouTube video about the downfall of the scene kid era and felt so old and also really sad because I miss those days even though I was already old when it started
  • Complained a lot about being bored and cold
  • Called Henry on the phone to see if he was ever going to wake up and come downstairs
  • Henry eventually came downstairs around 7pm!!!! but I was over it by then.
  • Did the dishes like 4x
  • Did a Paul Eugene Seniors Aerobics workout but thought he kept saying “singers” and I couldn’t understand how this particular workout was designed to help singers specifically get in shape
  • Chooch came downstairs eventually that night and took out the garbage. I asked him if he had mono or something and he just gave me a curt “cool” and went back to his lair wherein he continued to be brooding and mysterious for the rest of the night.
  • Henry went back to bed around 9pm!!!!

I slept on the couch last night because I didn’t want to deal with Sick Henry making sick sounds during the night. I apparently fell asleep to Disney walk-thru videos playing on YouTube and then woke up with Drew laying on me. We made eye contact like “Disney or GTFO?” so I guess me and Drew are going to Disney sometime soon. Who knows.

It was STILL RAINING when I woke up and I was pissed.

Henry was “feeling better” and actually did stuff around the house, little dumb bitch.

Henry: The Summer I Turned Pretty is so stupid.

Also Henry: *folding laundry at the dining room table and craning his neck to watch The Summer I Turned Pretty*

Penelope still wanted to sleep her life away today.

Chooch started his new job at Chipotle! As usual, he picked a location that is inconvenient, of course he did.

Also today:

  • I went on ONE WALK in the drizzle.
  • Henry and I went to one of the Asian markets to get some dry goods for the Not-Xmas party and things he needed to make a batch of vegan kimchi (Henry actually makes pretty good kimchi but it obviously is not authentic!)
  • I read some more. I’m reading two books currently and I sincerely hate one of them and should probably just DNF it, in fact yeah – consider it DNFd. Life is too short to waste time on shit you don’t vibe with!!
  • I got my absolute favorite KitKat flavor at the Asian market. It’s like, a wheat biscuit / digestive type center, and some type of cinnamon-y white chocolate coating. I first had it about 4 years ago and anytime I see it at the market, I have to have it regardless of the RIDIC price.
  • Said “I miss Coaster Crew” a bunch of times while editing pictures.
  • Finished season 1 of The Summer I Turned Pretty and cried like a little punk bitch and then screamed because I got tears in my hair and somehow this was repulsing to me. The show deviates from the book A LOT but I didn’t mind it. Laurel is hands down my favorite and I am Team Conrad for fucking ever. I also scream-laughed at the Jenny Han cameo because I have no life.
  • Spent time with my squirrels a lot this weekend too!
  • Had a strong urge to do another gem painting thing but can’t decide what photo I want to use for it!!!!!!
  • Watched two videos on “The VMAs from <insert year> were chaotic” on YouTube., specifically 1995 and 1997. I only vaguely remembered some of ’95 and none of ’97 because I think I didn’t care at that point of my life, but watching both of these recaps made me remember how much I hated Tabitha Soren. She was seriously awful at her job. Then Janna texted me and said Kurt Loder is 78 and the weird thing is that not too long ago at work, Nate Jabbered me about the same thing??!! Kurt my dude, have your ears been burning.

Ok I guess that’s a wrap. My big takeaway from this weekend is that I am truly not good at entertaining myself and being chill. Literally so fucking bored.

Sep 212023

All I’ve been doing is frantically trying to preserve my vacation memories on here, but there is daily life crap that I want to also preserve because you know me and my memories, PICTURE THIS BLOG AS A CANNING FACTORY FOR MEMORY PRESERVES.

Now “preserves” doesn’t sound right to me.

I think I mentioned last week that Chooch and I were demo’ing three rackets from Tennis Warehouse. Let me back up: when Chooch came home one day in June and said, “Hi, I play tennis now,” we weren’t about to run out and get him some great racket, you know? Henry took him to Dick’s and he got some $30 or $40 Head racket, which is fine for a true beginner. And then when I decided on a whim to also get a racket and see if tennis was still my thing, I bought an EVEN CHEAPER racket.

Turns out, I haven’t lost all of my skill and the rust flaked off me (that was gross, I do apologize) much faster than I imagined. And Chooch, which still a beginner, has shown that he has a natural ability for tennis! Plus, neither of us got tired of it all summer and were playing like fucking maniacs. Which meant we outgrew our rackets VERY QUICKLY. I was getting frustrated because I wasn’t able to fucking WHALE the ball back with as much power as I knew I had in me, and my serves were gross.

Henry kept frowning every time we complained because I think he thought we just wanted better rackets for a status thing. But then my brother told us about the demo program. I was lowkey worried that even with a better racket, my game wouldn’t elevate. But holy shit guys, the moment I had a real racket in my hands again, it was like Erin v.1995 was BACK. Chooch was playing a lot better too and that was all the confirmation we needed to know that an investment needed to be made.

We sadly sent the rackets back yesterday BUT we bought the two that we each had imprinted on. I went with my old fall-back of Prince: once a Prince girly, always a Prince girly. Chooch went with a Babolat and it is truly eye candy. At first, Henry wasn’t on board with spending this amount of cash on rackets and told Chooch that if he wanted the Babolat, he better get a jobolat (joke’s on Henry because while we were in Chicago, Chooch was back in Pgh making moves and landed himself a job at Chipotle in the Strip lol). But I talked Henry into it because Chooch really wants to play tennis on the school team in the spring.

Anyway, last night, Chooch went to the gym so Henry went to the courts with me. My “home court” is about 20 minutes away and it pisses Henry and Chooch off so much because our ACTUAL home court is a three-minute drive from our house, in our neighborhood. I can’t help it though, I just really like Settler’s Cabin and how secluded the courts are, all nestled back by the woods. So, Henry went into coach-mode and fed me balls from across the court so I could work on my forehand and backhand, and even though I was back to playing with my fucking Barbie paddle.

This is a shit-ton of words to say that I am starting to feel like I still “GOT IT” when it comes to tennis and that maybe, MAYBE, I might want to join a league or something. MAYBE. I just know that I am having the best time (except for when I’m not i.e. when CHOOCH is being a shit) out on the court again and I feel so excited every time 5:30 rolls around and I get to log off and go play.

Plus? Wow, what a goddamn stress reliever.

In other news:

  • I made Henry go see the Kang Daniel tour documentary with me a few weeks ago and it was so much fun to relive that concert! At the end, they showed all of the pictures that were taken of Kang Daniel on stage with the crowd behind him from each city, and you could totally see Henry in the Toronto one. I told Nate and he said that Henry officially needs his own IMDB page now haha.


  • Girl Buddy, drinking some fresh water, gotta stay hydrated, etc. I was REALLY pissed because Chooch’s only task while Henry and I were gone over the weekend was to feed the squirrels. He claims he did but I know he half-assed it because on Tuesday, Girl Buddy came straight-up galloping over to me to get a peanut, and she looked fully famished. I was so pissed. He knows I love those squirrels more than I love him, and he is clearly just jealous.

  • When we came home from – where the fuck were we Labor Day weekend?? there was action going on outside of our house. COPS were skulking around the area, walking around the church parking lot, clearly looking for someone. I was getting really agitated about this because:
    • hate me some cops
    • they were talking to my neighbors down the street (all men, FYI) about what was going on and even though I kept coming outside, that courtesy was not extended to me. So, I guess I didn’t have a right to know if I should feel unsafe, etc. Perf! Great job, pigs.

Anyway, a few hours later, I looked outside and two cops cars were pulled up along the sidewalk across from my house and down a little, and they had a young black kid CUFFED. I was like, “Oh hell, not on my watch” so I ran out to the porch to supervise. I DON’T TRUST THESE PIGS. Henry was getting really antsy and kept telling me to come back in but I had my phone held out and ready to record in case it started to get SHOOTY. They eventually uncuffed the kid and he jogged back up to where his friend was waiting for him. “It’s because we’re BLACK!” he shouted to his friend, and I said REALLY LOUDLY, “Yeah, it is AND THAT’S FUCKED UP!!!!” directed toward the cops. So then, GET THIS!!! One of the cops plopped his lazy ass into his pig-carriage, drove 5 yards (I don’t know yardage but it was like basically just driving across the street), PARKED IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE, and got out. I kept standing on my porch with my arms cross and he goes, GET THIS, “Hello.” Pig, watch your filthy-ass mouth, do not DARE speak directly at me. So, you know what I said back?? “JUST MAKING SURE YOU DON’T SHOOT ANY BLACK KIDS ON MY STREET.” I could hear Henry physically crumbling on the couch behind me. “Have a nice day,” the cop said, AND THEN STRODE DOWN THE SIDEWALK ALL CASUAL-LIKE WITH HIS HANDS CLASPED BEHIND HIS BACK. Bitch fuck you and your nice day. I don’t need your toxic masculinity-coated permission to have a nice fucking day. I’ll have a nice fucking day if I want to!! Later, Henry and I went for a walk and I was still popping off about this. I just really have a huge issue with authority. Obviously.

  • Dude you guys, we haven’t used the game room all summer! I mean, mostly because it was hot up there and also because we weren’t home very often. But yo, I’m trying to have some fall gatherings up in that neon bitch. Are you in or are you out. Probably not in October because I’ll be haunted housing, but definitely November. Pizza party or GTFO??

Oh shit, I gotta go – one of the coaster YouTubers from our trip just posted his vlog for the next park that I have scheduled to blog about!! I have to go and make sure I’m not in it. Ugh.

Jul 252023

I’m not tryna brag or anything but Chooch and I just came home from one of my best trips to the tennis courts yet. I am finally starting to get the power back in my forehands and Chooch was actually playing seriously and not acting like he was twirling around in a baseball field which is what he was doing the first half of our court time on Sunday. I felt really good about rallies!

Then some family of four took the court behind us and whipped out their pickleball gear. That was….something else. The sounds were v. distracting. The guys playing on the court next to us were there the very first two times we came out to these courts so that felt special. I wonder if they recognized us and saw our improvements?!?! One of them sounds like EXACTLY like Bill Hader to the point where I kept feeling surprised every time I looked over and saw it wasn’t actually him.

Anyway, I felt really good out there tonight! I mean, I still feel like an almost-44-year-old bitch getting the run-around from her 17-year-old son, but still! I think I’m in OK shape for old lady

In other news:

  • someone from own goddamn department at work called me KELLY in an email today and I about skyrocketed through the roof. Seriously. So fucking pissed off. And they didn’t even catch themselves and apologize, either. Dead to me.
  • this fan-made video for “Like We Just Met” is so pure. I am definitely getting an NCT Dream tattoo if I can ever find someone in this shitty city that does the style I want…

  • ….or I can just wait until we go back to Seoul, which might be sooner than I thought because HENRY AND I MUTUALLY DECIDED TO GET MARRIED THERE. It just makes sense. I know I have posted about my imaginary never-wedding over the years but now that it’s a reality, I just can’t picture it, you guys. Not that I would have ever thought I’d go the traditional route, but I can’t even imagine anything out-of-the-box. Trying so hard to get Janna to go with us!! I might start selling Henry’s plasma and put the proceeds into a Ship Janna to Korea fund.
  • I feel like there was something else I was bargaining Henry’s plasma for recently….
  • One week and one day until we go on vacation! I’m fucking stressed about it, which is how I know I have SOME amount of “adult” in me. But I’m mostly excited and I hope it goes as planned! I don’t take anything for granted these days. I’m going to try to micro-blog while we’re away, and maybe even live-blog a time or two!
  • I think I finally found an eye doctor that I like!!! I had my first appointment with her yesterday after work and she was awesome and actually listened to my concerns about depth perception (Chooch thinks it’s just an excuse when we’re playing tennis but I fucking swear to god, I cannot tell where the ball is sometimes!!). Anyway, that was the first time I had the dilation thing in quite some time and wow, get your eyes dilated and then come to my house. That’s all I’m saying. It felt like I was on psychedelics.
  • My birthday is Sunday! I think all I want to do is maybe go to Apteka and then Butterwood for cake? Usually, I try to go away for my bday but I think I can count our upcoming trip as a semi-bday thing.
  • Speaking of playing tennis on Sunday, we were the only people there and the real Erin McEnroe came out in FULL FORCE. Finally, freedom to fly the FUCCCCCCCCCKS!!!!! and just generally scream and throw tantrums. Apologies though to the man and his two dogs who were walking past at one point and jumped in fear at one of my banshee shrieks. Chooch was like, “OMG calm down!!” but yo, this was teenage Erin being frustrated at the tennis club coming to visit. It felt good but also scary, lol. I was a monster back then. JUST back then. Not now. Certainly not. No. I’m a fucking patient angel baby.

OK, I think that’s it for now. I have to go back to doing last minute planning for our vacation, which is either going to be a mess or a hot mess. Only time will tell!

Jul 072023

Here’s a round-up of June leftovers and whatever else from the desk of Erin R. Kelly, Unorganized Blogger.

1. Tennis

You guys, I am having the BEST TIME revisiting my old tennis days. I was so worried that picking up a racket after all this time (since the late 90s!) would have me being absolutely frustrated and a hot mess. Granted, I’m not saying I’m NOT a hot mess, but instead of being frustrating, I just feel so totally motivated to keep at it. My backhand slice is still marginally there! My serve is rusty AF but, as a wise old man named Henry once whispered down the mountainside: “If you practice, you will get better.”

Wow, thanks.

Chooch and I hit on the 4th of July and we actually had some great rallies going on! I’m really proud of him because he seems to genuinely like this and even joined a tennis clinic Monday night, where the instructor quickly realized, “Oh, you know what you’re doing” and gave him a better player to hit with. Chooch also learned proper serving techniques, which he used against me on Tuesday and I was impressed. You guys now I’m hypercritical of everyone and super competitive so for me to honestly say that I think he is doing great REALLY SAYS SOMETHING.

Then I found out that he originally had texted my brother the night before to see if he wanted to play on the 4th but Corey couldn’t. “Wow, so I’m an afterthought??” I cried.

“No!” Chooch said defensively. “I just didn’t think you’d want to play!”

Boy, your mother is always ready to play.

OK that sounded sleazy.

But you know what I mean!

I told him to text Corey and said, “That’s OK. I found a more challenging opponent anyway – your sister” but Chooch said he wasn’t trying to ignite any sort of sibling rivalry.

Obviously, I’m not trying to play competitively (YET, MOTHERFUCKERS) but I am fully onboard with doing all I can to get GOOD again. Mostly so that Chooch, once he surpasses me in skill which I’m sure will be coming soon, will want to keep playing against me because this is fun, you guys.

Last night after work, Henry and I went to one of the courts that has a tennis wall and I hit aggressively for a full hour. I was a sweaty monster mess but it was amazing and I honestly forgot how much I used to love this game until…I stopped loving this game.

Anyway, the picture up there is my Aunt Sharon and me – I think in Portugal – and I’m wearing my Glen Creek tennis shirt! That’s the club where I was a member back when my family was rich and we could do things like be members of tennis clubs. Sorry, Chooch. Public city courts for you or GTFO!

2. Name That Tune

2 weeks ago, Henry and I joined Megan and Eric at East End Brewing for Name that Tune. If you’re a veteran OHE reader going back to even my vagynafondue LJ days, you might remember East End as being the brewery that I totally lambasted in my review of a vegetarian dinner event that I attended in 2007 with Kara and Janna, and then the proprietor saw the HORRIBLE things I wrote but thought it was funny and asked to include it in their newsletter?!!? Honestly, I might have hated all beer without prejudice back then but that guy was an exceptional character and I have only had good things to say about that place since. (I mean, I did specify in that blog post that I was very much anti-beer.)

Anyway, I was very stressed out because for as competitive as I am, when playing games in public, I am known to choke and/or become obnoxious, or both.

Well, I’ll just cut to the chase and tell you that WE WON, BITCHES. And if I remember correctly, by a fairly sizeable chunk to boot.

Winners ^^^ ALSO, MEGAN IS PRETTY and PHOTOGENIC. I look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame every time a camera lens is pointed my way.


Anyway,  these are the things that happened during the contest that I am still thinking about because I get traumatized easily:

  • Me almost not being able to remember Diana Ross’s name when no one else on my team knew it was her AND THEY WERE COUNTING ON ME. Don’t worry, your girl pulled through but this is what I mean about my propensity for choking.
  • Megan wanting to use our initials for our team name but being sad because they spell anything and I was like, “Um, hello, HEME??” and then I explained it to her but her response was to google “music trivia team names” and she chose It was the Busta Rhymes It was the Worsta Rhymes.
  • One of the rounds was “artist names that rhyme” so of course right off the bat, Lynyrd Skynrd was an answer. But Henry finally came in clutch by identifying the first and only one that the rest didn’t know – Scritti Politti. I knew the song but couldn’t think of the band name! Anyway, Henry, now with the glaze of nostalgia on his eyeballs, started to say something about “some kid” he knew when he was “in the service” and I was like, “ok thanks for the answer but no one asked for the backstory now kindly fuck off and get me a new beer that I probably will hate.”
  • In the same round, there was this one song that made all of us look at each other with a stumped expression,  Literally NEVER heard this song before, but I was like, “Huh, that kind of sounds like Jack Black’s band, FUCK what was their name??” and then none of us could think but then Eric stage-whispered, “Oh! Tenacious D.” But I was like, “Shit it can’t be that because it doesn’t rhyme, oh well.” YOU GUYS WHY ARE WE SO DUMB, IT ENDED UP BEING PEACHES BY FUCKING JACK BLACK!!! It didn’t occur to me that it could be him because I was fixated on “band names” only. JACK BLACK. Ugh, the amount of times I said his name too. I am fucking haunted by this. Of course it didn’t matter because we were so far in the lead but STILL.
  • Another category was “solo artists that started out in a band” and the last song had everyone in the room looking confused, but I said, “Oh!” and wrote down Bjork. “What group was she in??” Eric asked and I was like SUGARCUBES, DUH.
  • Megan might have been the only person in the room who knew that one of the songs from the “TV Themes” category was from Big Little Lies. I was IMPRESSED. I was also bummed that Twin Peaks wasn’t one of them.
  • I was really obnoxious when we won. I know you’re shocked.

3. Sights from the Northside

That day that we went to watch Chooch sail, we left briefly because we both needed to pee bigly. First, we went to Adda but we fucking got there right after some large annoying walking crew and the line was so long with one barista. We ended up leaving before I could get one of these shitty Taylor Swift-inspired drinks, all of which I’m sure were delicious but TAINTED. Sorry, I just really don’t like that broad.

So we left that dump and went to Yinz Coffee which, you know, shitty name, but OK cafe!

First, I had to take a picture of this presh pizza mural:

I got a cactus pear matcha something or other. It was good! I feel like Henry was annoying me there though. Oh I know! When he was coming back from the bathroom (I was already pre-mad at him for going before me when I had to REALLY GO) he stepped on my foot as I was passing him and almost made me trip in front of people and this angered me so much because how can a couple so epically uncoordinated together get married?!?! He’s going to end up making me fall off my hobby horse if that day ever comes!

4. Wild Mouse <3

I loved this Wild Mouse design so much that I had to buy a coffee cup at Cedar Point!!

5. Is It You?

Earlier in the month, I had dinner at Dorothy6 with Megan, Debby and Mar. It was my first time here and even though their menu severely lacks vegetarian options, I loved the aesthetic and our waitress was SO WONDERFUL, just such a friendly personality and was super helpful and patient when I was being The Difficult Veg.

This was under the glass where I was seated, lol.

Those were some fucking good pierogies! Jalapeno! And the beet salad was very refreshing. Overall, even with the lack of options, I enjoyed my meal!

Everyone’s favorite part though was when we were leaving and some old drunk stopped DEAD IN HIS TRACKS, looked me in the eyes, and asked incredulously, “IS IT YOU?”

I played along, sure, why not. “Yes, it’s me. It’s really me,” I said.

Then he asked if he could be my boyfriend and invited me to go “back there” with him.


Meanwhile HENRY, who was watching from the car because he is my chauffeur, said he “wasn’t concerned.” Perhaps I should give him something to be concerned about!!!!

Jun 232023

Now that I wrote 3000 words about the Cure concert without ever actually talking about the Cure concert, here are five things about that night that don’t involve me flipping out over a ring.

1. burn

Honestly one of my favorite songs, not just by the Cure, but of any artist of all time. Henry said that this was one of his favorite songs of the night too. I am trying not to cry right now.

This is not my video, I didn’t record hardly at all because I was too in the zone and as usual, I figured there would be a plethora of videos online afterward. But the audio is really great and you can totally hear how on point the whole band – it was on this level the entire night. The Cure is honestly one of the best bands I have ever seen in my whole life – they always seem to be 100% into it. It makes me wonder how I would feel if I was at one of their concerts, knowing nothing about them, only there to accompany a friend. Would I leave as a fan? I really can’t imagine how I wouldn’t – like, how do you witness something like this in person and not be affected? They even manage to permeate Henry’s thick-walled dork-heart.

2. Kpop fans v everyone else

Ok listen Brenda. You know that the Cure is tops in my heart. La Supreme. Bae. And this is nothing against them at all, but can we talk about the crowd? Shoooooo….it was not great. I mean, also not AWFUL but just not what I would have expected for a Cure concert. With the exception of the ABYSMAL, RUDE crowd at Coachella in 2004 since that was a festival, this might have been the worst vibe I’ve sensed out of all the times I’ve seen them.

Now, this is not a blanket statement – I’m not trying to say, “OMG I was the only true fan there” because it wasn’t at all, so if you were there and disagree do not come for me!! I’m just saying that my observation from where I sat was that it felt like many – not all – people were there for the novelty of it. These people were all middle-aged, white, and mostly drunk. Maybe they were reliving their goth college years, or wanted to hear the handful of radio hits that they know, who knows. But a lot of the people there made me uncomfortable and distracted me with their constant need to fidget, chat with their neighbors, leave to buy more beer. It was a lot of letting people in and out of the row, you know? And I noticed this at Genesis too so I think it’s really a demographic thing. Like, these are elder fans who perhaps have expendable income and/or just go to concerts to party / relive the golden years / get drunk off of nostalgia. And OK that’s fine, but there are also people who pay money they don’t really have to see a band in real life that they love with their whole hearts and have so much appreciation and gratitude…

That’s 99.9999999% of the fans you see at kpop concerts, you guys. It is legit. No one is there because they just know one song. They are there because they know every member’s name, know the inside jokes, know the choreo.

I realized that night that while I still love non-kpop music, I prefer kpop concerts in general now.

(For instance, I’m watching another video from the Cleveland show and there is a broad in in who hasn’t stopped talking to someone three people over her for the entirety of Disintegration. Like bitch, sit down then. You’re bothering us.)

But I will give big props to the Tallest Guy in the Land who was standing in front of Henry. (Originally me but I switched seats with Henry lol.) He glanced behind him at one point and when he realized how much taller he was than Henry and the guy next to Henry, he sat down on the back of his chair so that he wasn’t fully sitting but also was at the height of an average standing man, and said, “Is that better?” Henry and the guy next to him were both like, “Oh, you’re fine!” because Henry, for all the bitching he does when BOO HOO HE CAN’T SEE AT THE NCT CONCERT BC GIRLS ARE STANDING UP AND DANCING, actually is content just being there and doesn’t need to see the stage at every single second of the night like some of us do.

Anyway, I thought that guy was really cool. Him and a bunch of people in front of him were really decent and seemed like genuine fans, but then the three women next to him (and directly in front of me) chatted like fucking mothers at a neighborhood watch meeting, checked their phones, texted, got up to pee, got up to get beer, looked everywhere but the stage unless one of the more popular radio songs were being played. It was so annoying. They did seem into it at some points so I think the bigger issue here is that Americans in general are just one gigantic attention deficit.

3. Toxic Masculinity in Row N

Sometime before the opening band started, a group of people practically fell into the seats right behind Henry and me. I mean, they made such a commotion as they skirted their way down the row, it was almost comedic if it hadn’t been so goddamn annoying. Loud AF. CLEARLY drunk. Total middle-aged trash with zero boundaries or awareness.

It was two married couples – the one woman had the most annoying voice, high-pitched voiced (fuck, Henry compared her to someone and it was so spot-on but now I can’t think), the other woman was actually fine but of course she was sat the furthest away from me, and the two husbands were disgusting, loud-ass pig-slobs who didn’t just speak, they SHOUTED, the type of toxic ageing bro-men who purposely talk loud because they think that what they’re saying is SO FUCKING FUNNY AND IMPORTANT, that they want EVERYONE AROUND THEM TO HEAR. Fucking crass assholes, honestly. The one kept stretching out his legs so his disgusting sandaled foot would jut out from under Henry’s seat and I was burping back bile, for real.

4. If you can’t beat ’em….

I told Henry that the only way I was going to be able to survive with those loud asses sitting behind us would be if I made contact somehow. Finding a way to civilly butt into the conversation of problematic people sometimes helps humanize them for me, if that makes sense. Lucky for me, the MEN had departed on their third alcohol refill run during the storm delay, when the couple next to the people started talking to the wives. At one point, one of the wives said that they were from Pittsburgh and I was like “I’M IN” and the way I spun around so fast in my seat to finally play the role of Erin Buttinsky, well, Henry was laughing about it for days afterward.

(“Jesus Christ, you turned around so fast and started talking,” he laughed but it didn’t sound like a HAHA I LOVE YOU NEW-FIANCEE, YOU ARE SO CUTE AND FUNNY laugh but more of a disgusted “I hate when you do that shit” scoff.)

“We’re from Pittsburgh too!” I cried out so loud that several people from the row behind them also turned to look at where the manic talking was coming from.

The wives looked a bit caught off guard initially at my enthusiasm for sharing a city, but then they quickly abandoned the other couple and talked solely to me about various Pgh things that you wouldn’t understand if you’re not from here so I won’t bore you, but I will say that Henry REFUSED to turn around, not even ONCE, just bristled silently in his seat like the stand-offish lump that he is, so that was exciting to have them see that I was attending a Cure concert with a serial killer.

After I said that I was originally from “Jefferson Hill, you know, by Century III Mall,” one of the ladies said, “Oh did you hear about that boy that recently fell through the roof of the mall??” and I was like, “OMG NO?!” and she said something else about it, to which I didn’t know how else to respond aside from saying, “Oh wow” and then turning back around in my seat without a goodbye or enjoy the show or fuck off or anything. Just quietly and awkwardly cut the cord on the convo and peaced out. That’s how I do. Hi, I’m Erin. Nice to meet you, ok bye.

Anyway, my plan worked because I was able to tolerate them so much more after that, except for once the concert started and I found out quickly and painfully that one of the husbands was a WHISTLER. Hooboy, the why those whistles broke through my skull like a buckshot.

5. The Set List

  • Alone
  • Pictures of You
  • Lovesong
  • And Nothing if Forever
  • If Only Tonight We Could Sleep

  • Burn
  • Kyoto Song
  • A Night Like This
  • Push
  • At Night
  • Play for Today
  • A Forest (Henry’s fave Cure song, FYI)
  • Shake Dog Shake
  • From the Edge of the Deep Green Sea (LOL ughhhhh)
  • Endsong


  • I Can Never Say Goodbye
  • It Can Never Be the Same
  • Want
  • Plainsong
  • Disintegration


  • Lullaby
  • Six Different Ways
  • The Walk
  • Friday I’m In Love
  • Close To Me
  • Whay Can’t I Be You?
  • In Between Days
  • Just Like Heaven
  • Boys Don’t Cry

OK, that’s it. I was hoping for The Caterpillar, Charlotte Sometimes, The Kiss, Same Deep Water As You among others but I was still happy with the set list because it’s the fucking Cure. The fucking Cure.

Jun 022023

Here are some (FIVE TO BE EXACT) things that I have on my mind today:

  1. The First Ed Sheeran Song I’ve Liked (accidentally)

OK look, I don’t specifically hate Ed Sheeran or anything. I think he is fine, he doesn’t bother me, but I also could not ever pick his voice out of a line-up. It’s just, whatever. But then I was doing a cardio dance workout a few weeks ago to afrobeat songs and one of the songs WAS SO GOOD that it got lodged in my head until I finally looked it up to see who it was and apparently ED SHEERAN is featured on it?? I guess now that I know that, I can tell sort of, but this was not something that struck me the other times I heard this song. “Oh wow, and there is Ed Sheeran chiming in.”

I think my brother would be disappointed in me because he hates Ed Sheeran but I just recently found out that he likes Taylor Swift, the most vanilla basic bitch out there, so I guess we are even.

Anyway, there is an official MV too that I am just now watching for the first time and I guess ED makes a cameo in this too lol. But yeah, this is such a fire summer jam and I have been putting Fireboy DML on replay these last few days:

2. Firefly Lane

Dude. I had been really dragging this second half of the season out, just stretching it as far as it would go, because I knew it was going to rip me apart. But I finally watched the last episode Wednesday night and, well, I’m not OK! LOL. I was crying so hard that I had to keep covering my face, or looking at my phone to distract me, or shower the closest cat with unbridled attention. I was a wet mess. I didn’t read the book and will probably not at this point because why torture myself further, but I thought that show was very well done and the casting was on point. I always was meh about Katherine Heigel but that actually made me like her and also her character reminded me of my aunt Sharon a little bit?? (The good parts of Sharon.)

(I have been thinking of Sharon SO MUCH lately and I think it’s because I am finally ready to go through the mourning stages…..7 years later.)

3. New neighbors!

You guys, we have a family of groundhogs living over the hill in our backyard! So far, I’ve counted 5 babies and a mom (I call her Bertha – she is so mean to her babies!). The squirrels are like WHO ARE YOU AND ARE YOU PAYING RENT?

I dunno if I’m just officially OLD but I could fucking sit on my backporch all day and watch the backyard wildlife. I love them all so much.


Some of the Mr. Gray Guys came running when I call them now – they know their names <3

Meanwhile, my favorite – Girl Buddy – has been snubbing me all week and I know it’s because she’s pissed that we were gone for part of Memorial Day weekend.

4. Dance Telephone Challenge!

You guys! NCT Dream was on Good Mythical Morning recently! Chooch said this means he can’t watch GMM anymore, whatever hater. Anyway, I thought it was extremely cute and funny, obviously. Janna watched the whole thing and you should too!

5. A Call About a Cat Carrier

Last Friday, HNC texted me and asked if we have a cat carrier that he could borrow. I sighed, retrieved one of the cat carriers from a shelf in the basement, and took it over to him. Apparently, they needed it for the weekend to take their cat to their camp, which is a thing that both HNC and Wife reference quite frequently but I have yet to care enough to ask any questions about it. Such as, “Where is it?”

Anyway! Tuesday evening, HNC’s wife returned it to us, which I appreciated. Punctuality when it comes to returning borrowed items is something that I don’t get to experience very much in life, I feel like.


The next day.

Another HNC text: “When u get a min, can u call  me? It’s about the cat carrier.”

REALLY? Why do we have to have a telephone conversation about this? I let you borrow it. You returned it. The end.

I waited a few minutes. Considered ignoring it. Sighed. Called him.

It quickly turned into a multi-point inquisition:

  1. What brand was the cat carrier? It fit their cat perfectly (purrfectly?) and he would like to get the same one.
  2. Do we buy our cat litter in plastic containers? If so, where do we buy it? Can he have the empties to use to store rock salt FOR THE CAMP?

And then, what I believe to be the main purpose of the phone call, the rest was just friendly filler:


Ugh! How about just embrace them as they are GOD’S PRECIOUS CREATURES??? Did I tell you that she has FORKS sticking out of her planters, tines up, as a squirrel deterrent?!

Bonus: I heard HNC’s wife’s ring tone for the first time the other night when she was giving me avocadoes – I WAS MADE FOR LOVING YOU by KISS!???!!! I was almost shocked into silence because that was not what I expected. The Nokia tone, maybe? A Dwight Yoakum midi?

May 082023

Me, telling Henry & Chooch what I want to do on Mother’s Day: “I want to go to Columbus, as we discussed. And then on Mother’s Day Eve—“

Chooch, while Henry mumbled similar sentiments: “NO. That is NOT a thing!”

It is when you’re living under *my* roof, bitches.


  • In other news, my blog was hacked again or something, I don’t know. It was down almost all day until Henry came home from work and dealt with it because I cared but also didn’t care?
  • I’m still recovering from the weekend which is incredibly sad. I just really cannot handle alcohol in this moderately old bitch season of my life. I think I’m more socially hung over than anything else though (in a good way!).
  • I asked Henry to put a temporary moratorium on the DAILY coffee runs to Dunkin Donuts (did I already mention this or was it in a dream) because each trip is nearly $20 and since we flunked out of HOW TO SAVE MONEY school, I thought that this would be a small, bare minimum corner we can cut in order to collect some extra monies for our summer trip which I will be borrowing against my 401K to pay for because again, what is saving money. Anyway, this is all to say that Henry had the audacity to suggest that we also STOP FEEDING THE SQUIRRELS. LOL he can fuck himself right over a cliff, byeee.

  • We bought FROOTS at Las Palmas for the fiesta on Saturday. We actually only went there to get Mexican candy for the piñata but then I was like “and this” “and that” and as we walked out with our Mexican merch, Henry sighed, “When you plan things, you do it big,” and i was like “what are you talking about, this is just a super caj farewell thing that only requires exotic fruit, homemade Mexican sangria, beer, cider, a piñata, tons of candy, fiesta decor, and a cake from Bethel Bakery that features a picture that nearly caused me to flip my desk when trying to get coworkers to contribute to it?”

  • I assigned Jaemin as Janna’s NCT Dream bias. I sent her several comp videos of him being a chaotic weirdo and she has accepted him with open arms.

  • I was so tired of Taylor Swift concert footage coming up in my reels on Instagram so I started blocking Swiftie fam accounts but then realized I could mark the videos as I AM NOT INTERESTED IN THIS and the reason I selected was “it makes me uncomfortable” because it does!! I don’t know what it is about her but I have never been able to stand her. Her music is fine – it’s so bland and vanilla that I can easily block it out but there is something about her stage presence (or IMO lack there of) that just makes me feel nauseated. Then I added all iterations of “Taylor Swift” etc to my blocked content keywords list on IG and I gotta tell you, it’s been fantastic.

WITH THAT, I am going to bed, man. Check back again for more unpopular opinions because my brain is a tree that grows ’em for free.

(DID I MAKE THAT OR HAS IT BEEN SAID BEFORE?? Wow I really need sleep.)

Apr 282023

I don’t have an intro. Let’s do it.

  1. Restaurant Crushes

When I was younger, I was always having crushes on bus boys and waiters and various restaurants and when my Pappap would ask me where I wanted to eat after Saturday evening church, my current crush usually determined my answer. I remember PARTICULARLY being super hormone-y over a bus boy at this Italian restaurant that was actually called Napoli but we just called it Naples. I was so convinced that he liked me too but in hindsight, I highly doubt this was the case. That boy was so hot and I was so….not, lol.

I’m telling you this because Wednesday night, Henry and I had a double date with Megan and Eric at Tillie’s. Obviously, my restaurant crush was not Henry, but our young and sassy waiter whose name I’m not sure I ever knew. I was too busy crushing on him to notice that he was, according to my dinner companions, fucking with me every time I spoke. To be fair, I couldn’t hear most of what he was saying to me over my heartbeat 두근두근ing  in my ears and my babyish giggling.

I was concerned for the entire dinner that he was perhaps TOO YOUNG for me but Henry passed the bar on his way back from the restroom and overheard the waiter telling the bartender that he was going to have one drink before going home and I HOPE HE DIDN’T MEAN A ROY ROGER.

The actual dinner and company portion of the night was perfect too!

2. Kpop Dad’s New Faves

Henry has been wildly into the newest NCT unit, NCT DoJaeJung. I think that we might have to fight because I’ve seen the way he’s been smiling at Jaehyun and he is *my* NCT127 bias!!

Anyway, he was sitting on the back porch the other day, scrolling through Insta Reel after Insta Reel of them dancing to their single Perfume.

Then Wednesday night, he said he was going to bed and of course I just waved him off, like “cool bye” and then I put on new NCT DJJ content, which made Henry stop in his tracks and watch it while standing up with his hands clasped behind his back like some kind of Kpop Mafia Dad.

Um, I think we are both going to be very sad when this promotion cycle ends. Sigh.

3. INCOMING: Some pictures of Drew and Penelope in the attic

The company I bought this neon from sent me a DM on Instagram and asked if they could use my pictures on their social media and I said sure but literally no company ever uses my shit after asking me (this is the third or fourth time) so whatever, why even bother asking!?

4. Work Comings-and-Goings

In super sad news, yesterday was Lauren’s last day at the Law Firm. I know we still talk and hang out here and there and it’s not like we were seeing each other every day anyway in these WFH years, but it’s still sad, especially seeing her name deactivated from our Jabber at work. She was one of the only people who was genuinely interested in hearing my Kpop/Kdrama/Korea in general news when we were in the office, and she developed a pure interest in Our King and Savior, G-Dragon (particularly for his avant garde style). I asked her if I can still text her G-Dragon updates as they arise, and she said yes please. :(

In happy news though, someone is coming BACK to the law firm! I had enticed them several mths ago to apply for a new opening and while the process was very long and dragged-out, they texted me today and said that they accepted an offer! Not that anyone really ever reads this garbage dump of text, but I won’t say their name just yet because it hasn’t been officially announced in the department and I don’t want to jinx anything!

5. A New Chooch Injury

Chooch’s physical therapy sessions are still on-going, but that hasn’t prevented him from PLAYING FOOTBALL AFTER SCHOOL which I did not know was happening until yesterday when he texted Henry and said that he hurt his finger?! It’s all swollen and purple and he’s been icing it – it probably is just stoved or whatever that word is for “busted but not broken” so I guess he will be OK but he makes me so nervous!

“This is my year of injuries,” he said proudly yesterday. Yes, pick the year that we actually planned a big trip to rack up the medical bills, dumbo!

Anyway, the real reason why I’m annoyed about this is because I bought Thingie Ball v.3 in the $3 section of Target and I need him to heal so we can play it.

If you think I bought this because one of my favorite NCT Dream songs is called “Boom,” well….I’ll neither confirm nor deny.

OK, this is going nowhere and I am tired of sitting so, see you, chingu.

Apr 232023

Hello! I don’t really have anything exciting going on (“When do you?” asks everyone in the balcony in the back of my mind) but I have some downtime in between my v. busy morning of writing correspondence, exercising, making a breakfast smoothie (I can use a blender-thing now!) and watching NCT Dream fan cams from the Seattle show.

I have been trying to be responsible by staying home lately on weekends so that Henry can get this fucking subway sign done. I know, I can go out without him but that would require me to either go out alone or make plans with other people but every time I pick up my phone to text someone like, “Wanna hang out” I feel sooooo tired. So, then I don’t. I have some social-y things coming up this week and into May, so I’m good, lol.

Anyway, he’s made great progress on the new sign but this is at the expense of my livelihood so…

Here are some things:

  • Speaking of subways! I found *more* old photos the other day, just when I think I have finally lassoed them all up into photo boxes. I swear my house is like Mary Poppins’ tapestry bag. Anyway, I found a set of photos from my second trip with my grandparents and Sharon. This was my second time in London, but I think it was probably the first time I ever took a subway in any city, ever. I remember that we hung back from the tour group and did our own thing while we were in London, so that must have been why we were using the tube.

Of course Sharon has a Harrods bag. And that’s my Pappap and me in the background!

  • In other back-in-the-day vacation news, remember back in February when I found a Christmas card from one of the families we had met on my first trip with my grandparents and Sharon, and I felt inspired to look up the daughter who was around my age? Well, I found what I had hoped was her address, sent her a card with my email address and IG handle, and then nothing happened for nearly 2 mths. I figured either:
      • I had it completely wrong;
      • she emailed me back but it was directed to one of the OTHER Erin Kellys;
      • or she just totally didn’t remember me.
    • But then last weekend, I got an IG notification that someone named Olivia had started following me, and it was her!! I also got a card in the mail from her several days after that and it is wild to reconnect with someone after 30+ years. I’m excited to catch up and for us to start a new phase of our old friendship!
  • All of this vintage vacation stuff has me so anxious to travel again. I know we booked our flights for our August trip but this fucking coaster club is being sooooo slow with getting the final payment info together. We’ve already paid into it a bit and this isn’t a new group or anything so if they end up saying that the trip is not happening, I am going to expect a fucking refund and then scramble to try and plan our own itinerary using the same flights because I am 100% married to this region we’re supposed to be traveling to. This isn’t their first big international trip either so I’m hoping that they’re just waiting for all of the parks to finalize things with them. They have confirmed some of the hotels (the one in Gothenburg is brand new – I was watching a YouTube video of its sneak peek soft opening and it looks so fucking beautiful) and several of the rides we can expect ERTs for, so there’s that at least.
    • The really annoying thing about this is that most of the information is being provided in the Facebook event they created for it so I have to use my dummy account that was created in order for me to be able to create Instragram ads for my stupid card shops. It’s just so infuriating when shit is done via Facebook. And there are already people who are annoying me bigly with their comments so that’s great. I hope there are some chill people that will be a part of this group! I think there are around 60 people who registered?
      • I started looking for a small bag to buy that’s bigger than a fannypack but not a full-sized crossbody, because I want to be able to tuck my vacation journal into it so that I can jot things down while in the parks rather than wait and try to frantically scribble everything down afterward in the hotel. “Just use Notes on your phone, Erin!” some might say, but I am very analog when it comes to “jotting things down,” lol. Also, I will want to be saving my phone battery for pictures/videos. Anyway, I think I am going with a bag I found from Baboon to the Moon because I like that brand. I WILL KEEP YOU POSTED, in case you are heavily invested in bags.
  • Chooch turns 17 on Tuesday! I’m sad that he hasn’t been cleared yet by his doctor to be more active because I would have planned a weekend amusement park trip, subway sign be damned. I asked him if there was anything at all that he would like to do and he said no so we just bought him a new/bigger TV and he’s happy. I guess now that I think about it, when I was his age I also didn’t really care about doing anything for my birthday but I was also depressed because of my Pappap dying and the most I would agree to was having my BFFs Lisa and Christy come over and we ate cake with my mom and brothers in the kitchen. It was all I needed, really! But as a mom, I of course always want to something big for Chooch’s birthday so I will just need to shut my mouth and accept the fact that he’s just not into birthdays like I am.. :(
  • My record player broke a few years ago and I never replaced it, mostly because it was around the time that I got into Kpop and so my interests shifted. But lately, more and more Kpop groups are releasing vinyl and I feel like the attic would be a great spot for a record nook so now I’m going to start to prioritize that, I guess. I can’t even remember what my old one was other than it was actually old, like a real turntable from back in the day and not one of these newfangled ones that people are buying at UO because they look cool but then chew up the vinyl. So, you know, no Crosleys for me, thanks. But I’m also not in the market for something super audiophile-centric and $$$$ either. I just want something reliable without sacrificing quality. I don’t know why I just plopped down so many words about this, how boring.
  • Onion “we are closing, this is our last day” Maiden magically “reopened” 2 weeks later for a 420 pop-up event. I’m just so tired of restaurants acting like they’re motherfucking bands, getting everyone all worked up because they’re “disbanding” only to come back with reunion shows. I don’t know, maybe I’m just a disgruntled old people but the veg/vegan scene is so fucking obnoxious. It makes me not even want to be supportive of it, just stock my freezer with mass-produced veggie patties and call it a day. I don’t know, I got a seitan sandwich from the pop-up and it was just OK so I’m officially not broken up over this. I will just continue to patronize vegan establishments in other cities when we travel because I’m over this idiocy here. Also, the ordering process for the pop-up was just as jacked up as we expected. It’s vegan food, not a Taylor Swift ticket purchasing event. Either make a decent quantity of your food or don’t do it at all, get over yourself. Every goddamn city we have traveled to has had vegan restaurants that don’t close their doors after two hours because they “sold out.” Just normal-ass restaurants that you walk into, sit down, order, eat. Boom. Here in Pgh, you’re better off going to a regular restaurant that has “vegan/vegetarian” options on the menu, I swear to god. As someone who has not eaten meat since 1996, I find this whole “scene” completely appalling and pretentious.

On that note, I need a snack. Goodbye.

Apr 142023

Some things I want to be rememberin’ JUST IN CASE:

  1. Easter 2023

This was the first year in quite some time where we didn’t really do anything for Easter. :( Henry and I got home from Chicago the night before, so we technically could have had a picnic or something, but who wants to be preparing a picnic the day after a road trip? Probably not Henry. We still put together a basket for Chooch which he half-cared about, and then later we went for a cemetery stroll but Chooch didn’t want to go because of his “knee” but he’s been back in action with his after school carousin’ so how much longer are we gonna be playing the OW MY KNEE card, hmmm? We also went to Kung Fu for boba and brought the crybaby one home too. So annoying.

Then I literally spent the rest of Easter watching YouTube content of the Chicago 7Dream concert and crying, like legit leaking big fat wet tears down my fat cheeks because I have the post-show sads in a bad way, which is also why I still haven’t blogged about the experience. Even right now, my behind-eyes are burning.

2. Don’t Hire Chooch to Squirrel Sit

Before we left Thursday, I kept giving Chooch instructions on how to feed the squirrels. “And don’t put the peanuts out front, because they’ll be tempted to cross the street with them, you have to put them—”

“—in the backyard on that fence, yeah I know, and I am NOT leaving the house to feed them,” Chooch said in disgust, never once looking away from MINECRAFT – why is he playing this again?? He has been playing this game since he was like 5, I swear to god.

Friday seemed OK. He sent me pictures of the cats “not missing” me, evidently (yeah right, we are fucking besties) and then sent two pictures of the squirrels sitting in the backyard like gangsters, gnawing on their peanut shells.

But then on our way home Saturday, THIS EXCHANGE HAPPENED:

UM NO, THEY NEED TO BE FED MULTIPLE TIMES THROUGHOUT THE DAY! When I skip down the driveway with my pumpkin pail of peanuts, they start scurrying down from the trees in anticipation of 4th, 5th, maybe even 9th meal.

When they saw me on Sunday, they seemed PISSED Especially Girl Buddy, who is used to special treatment. :(

3. Bitch, You’re DNF’d

You guys, this was the very beginning of a mystery I picked up from the library, and I was so put off by the writing.

I even dramatically read it out loud to Henry in the car on the way home from Chicago and he was like, “I don’t understand those words.” If I’m reading literary fiction or a contemporary novel, fine. There is a time and a place. But this is not what I from a mystery so I DNF’d after a few chapters. Also, there was so indication that this was book #3 in a series but then I saw it listed as such on Goodreads, and I am definitely not trying to read a whole series written this way.

4. NCTFlair

I bought more pins for my NCT jacket! This is specifically NCT Dream, I guess. I’m so giddy about it because Chooch had already hated it when there were only two patches on it so now I’m going to wear it every time we leave the house together.

Renjun & Haechan <3

I mean, Drew is a fan.

5. Obigatory NCT Video

I may not be ready to recap my experience just yet, but I am always ready to share videos of NCT Dream, lol. Anyway, I still can’t believe I got to see a version of this in Chicago. I think I might have PTSD though. Please do yourself a favor and click through to YouTube to watch this. (Fun fact: it’s Henry’s favorite NCT performance – srsly, ask him!)

OK, sorry, this whole post was a cop-out but I am sad/depressed/stressed – this was another rough work week and I am just generally annoyed by everything and have a very short fuse, so honestly if I’m not over here navel-gazin’ about NCT, I’m just going to be typing out vitriolic hate posts that won’t do anyone any good.

Maybe I need to plan another party or something.

Anyway, have a great weekend. Eat a taco or something. Isn’t that a feel-good activity for normal Americans?

Mar 312023

Woo the end of another week! Now for a whiplash weekend and then right back on the hamster wheel.

Well, here are five things.

  1. This time next week, I will be crying into my hands and also probably drowning on my tears because I will also be screaming at the same time WHY BECAUSE I WILL BE AT THE NCT DREAM CONCERT, THAT’S WHY. Ugh, I’m so excited for this! This is the Dreamies’ first North American tour and I honestly was starting to think that SM was never going to send them here! The closest they have ever been was in 2019 when they performed at some boy scout event in WEST VIRGINIA?! And guess where I was? IN KOREA.

I got this patch and I have to put it on my jean jacket before I leave for Chicago!!!!! I even set an alert on my phone for Thursday to make sure I don’t forget my Haechan pendant because I forgot it when I went to see NCT127 (Haechan is in both groups in case you’re not fully immersed in this scene and did not know!) last fall!

Kpop brings so much joy to my life. I spend all week being a grown up with a serious job (except for when it’s not serious like when we’re talking about lamb cakes, cults, and DOUG in group chat) so please just step off and let me be a teenager when I’m off the clock. It’s literally my survival mode, lol.

2. Dude, Robert Smith was going OFF on Ticketmaster the week that the Cure tickets went on sale. He was like, “TM, I’M WATCHING YOU” and called them out on every shady fucking thing they did after he explicitly told them how it was going to be. I love him so much for trying. It still wasn’t a perfect system and it was still extremely stressful, but he really really really tried to prevent price gouging  and even forced Ticketmaster to issue partial refunds for some shifty fee that they tried to slide in without him noticing. Or something – I didn’t really understand it and was honestly so tired of Ticketmaster and everything related to it at this point because I had to fight for NCT Dream tickets and Cure tickets within like, 5 days of each other and I was already stressed out about actual Life Things so this just really skyrocketed my blood pressure.

3. Speaking of tickets and stress, Henry officially booked our flights tonight for our upcoming trip in August and I’m excited but also feel sick because we are not rich people and it felt like straight up hemorrhaging money. It’s also making me nervous because the last time we attempted an international trip, the whole world went on lockdown literally two weeks before our departure date. So, while I want to run laps around the house and scream about how I can’t wait, I’m just sitting here with a blanket wrapped around me, thinking about the myriad ways this trip could get canceled. That’s yo’ girl, miss brightside!

4a. A few weeks ago, I saw a “TIP” on YouTube about how TOASTING oatmeal before adding milk/water makes it taste better. I CAN DO THAT, I thought. So I tried it one day, with some cinnamon sprinkled in there too, and I smugly showed Heney when he tentatively entered the kitchen to see what I was doing. “Just be careful, because that can burn really fast, especially with how you like to cook with the highest heat,” Henry warned me and I got SO PISSED, like go sit down, homedad, and let me do my kitchen thang. I watched the YouTube video, I know what I’m doing! Anyway, I had a good streak of success – like 3 or 4 whole times of cooking toasted oatmeal (I’m not really sure I could taste the difference to be honest), but then today, it happened. It finally happened. Henry’s premonition came true and I fucking BURNT my oatmeal. I mean, it was pretty noticeable too, like half of it looked charred. I still added the almond milk and other hot cereal accoutrements, because I didn’t feel like starting over. And let me tell you – toasted? I can’t tell. Burnt? Um, yeah, I could taste the difference, lol. It was so fucking sad. Also, I feel like burnt oatmeal is some sort of very obvious metaphor for my life.

4b. Related: Henry said I should cook only with a wok since I love the highest heat setting.

5. Today, a new RMC (MY FAVE COASTER MANUFACTURER) coaster opened at Fun Spot Atlanta and I am SO PISSED that Chooch had to go and fuck up his knee because next week is spring break and we could have potentially gone there to ride it!!!! Henry pointed out that, no we couldn’t, because we have to go see NCT Dream but HELLO we could have just gone to see them IN ATLANTA. Two birds, etc etc. GOOD JOB, CHOOCH. Anyway, I spent all day watching on ride videos from all the coaster enthusiasts on YouTube and my FOMO is next level.

OK, that’s all I have. I’ll be back tomorrow to tell you (lol, you) about how I finally met one of my most OG LiveJournal friends last Sunday! Also tomorrow, Kara is coming over to dye Easter eggs because we’re children and I haven’t hung out with her fully since waaaay before 2020 – the Pie Party 2022 doesn’t count because I barely got to talk to her so I’m excited for Henry to dump snacks on a plate and be our bitch for the evening like old times!