Who the Fuck is Erin Writing About?

 

Henry: Boyfriend since 2001; 14 years her elder. (Gross.) Has a molester moustache. Was in THE SERVICE in the 80s.

Chooch: Rhymes with “butch.” Nee “Riley.” Son. Trucker mouth. Zombie lover.

Marcy: Best cat ever. Hates Erin. Loves Henry. Cavorts with Satan.

Blake & Robbie: Henry’s sons to a ginger nightmare.

Janna: Erin’s punching bag since 6th grade. Chooch whisperer. Won’t ride the rides at the fair.

Barb: Favorite co-worker & Penguins fan. Surrogate mom. Unpaid Therapist. (Will probably start billing soon.) LOVES BILL PAXTON.

Wendy: Other favorite co-worker. Has seen Erin cry 25 times since she started working at The Law Firm in 2010. Also known as: The Shiny One.

Sandy: Another favorite co-worker who likes to heckle Henry and make pretty pictures of Jonny Craig for Erin. Likes to upset Henry by organizing happy hours wherein Erin spends too much and Henry has to drive around downtown at night waiting to collect his half-drunk girlfriend.

Laura: Recently moved to Pittsburgh, is now stuck with Erin as a friend. Takes Dramamine so she can ride things at the fair! (Update: NOW SHE LIVES IN TEXAS, WAHHH.)

Christina: Ex-BFF/Life Ruiner/Serial Liar who comes up on the blog here and there. Is married to a repulsive ginger. See also: Christina Chronicles.

Jonny Craig: THE BEST SINGER IN THE WORLD AND ERIN IS IN LOVE WITH HIM. Has been kicked out of two bands and is about to get kicked out of one of those bands for a second time. See also: Ginger; Douchebag; Ginger Douchebag. (UPDATE–I no longer like him.)

Gingers: Apparently they are popular on this blog.

Choose Your Words Carefully