Feb 252014
 

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Henry and Chooch both went to bed right after “The Walking Dead” on Sunday, leaving me alone with my boredom. Since I had just finished a custom painting for my friend Alisa, I was still in my fake art state of mind. So I decided to just paint a bunch of Henry’s faces, because how much would he love/hate that?! I got as far as the first photo before finally getting tired; I tried showing Henry the picture on my phone, which involved me having to awaken him first, which always goes over super well. Much like earlier that night when I woke him up to show him that the new singer of Emarosa had favorited one of my tweets, he rolled over and went back to sleep without saying a word.

Chooch, however, was still awake and gave me validation on the picture I posted of it on Instagram. Thanks, son.

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I finished it yesterday, just in time for Henry to come home and take me to work.

I call it “Faces of Henry (Frowning, Yelling At Us, Frowning, Sleeping, Frowning, Frowning)”. I laughed so hard the whole time I made this that it’s actually amazing it didn’t turn out more fucked up than it did.

Henry of course sighed when he saw it.

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“DO YOU LOVE IT?!” I cried.

“Yeah, it’s great Erin,” he mumbled as he threw together a sandwich, shrugging my hyper, bouncing self away as he went along.

“Where should we hang it?”

“The closet,” he said around a mouthful of his meat sandwich. (Literally just a sandwich filled with deli meat, not multiple blow jobs performed in tandem.)

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Wendy has big plans for Henry’s face.

“You know who would LOVE this? TOKYO. Henry could be the next Hello Kitty!” she cried in her office yesterday. “You’ll have to make shirts and toothbrushes with his face on it! AND HATS! HATS LIKE HE WEARS!”

Hello Henrys? He would would fucking kill me. (All the more reason to do it!)

UPDATE: Henry came home from work and insinuated that I don’t like him, so I threw wild gesticulations toward the painting on the wall, at which point he made a series of “Yeah, exactly” noises.

  6 Responses to “Faces of Henry”

  1. I’m really glad you clarified that his meat sandwich was indeed a sandwich full of deli meat. I was super concerned that your house was full of a bunch of sailors all standing around with their penises in Henry’s mouth.

    Get it? He was full of sea men? BWAHAHA

    Okay, seriously though. I love this painting. It cracks me up!

    • OMG Kendahl, this one time way back, I found this picture…it was like a still from some kind of granny porn, and the guy in the picture looked JUST LIKE A YOUNGER HENRY to the point where I honestly thought it was and Henry was like, “WTF THAT’S NOT ME!” I have to try and find it!!

  2. That’s wonderful. Kind of gives me a Popeye feel, I don’t know.

  3. That last picture of him looks just like a face that Chooch would pull – I know this because i know him so well….Or I feel like I do. I love that painting! It makes me want to do something like that for Tyrone except he would love it because he’s self-centered like that.

    I definitely could see that Henry mug in a pattern over some pajama pants or bed sheets.

  4. I cannot stop fucking crying. CANNOT STOP. I keep going back to this periodically and losing it again. I agree with the assessment that this could be huge. Seriously, look how well the Henry calendar went over. This? Yes, I could see this pattern on toothbrushes and hand towels and pill cases. Please please make more.

    And also..the singer of Emarosa FAVORITED ONE OF YOUR TWEETS?! OMG OMG!

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