Tweets take it on the road

Earth-shattering updates throughout the day. Please try to continue breathing while taking it all in.

• 13:03 Have officially reached 200 sales, ya’ll! I’mma buy me a nice mink coat as a reward. #
• 13:03 If “a nice mink coat” was really a milkshake. #
• 13:41 Thank you, bathroom electrical current—I’m awake now. #
• 15:51 Started fighting before we even left the house. This will be the longest drive to Cleveland ever yay! #
• 15:57 Also, I adore how Henry waits until we’re leaving to tell me that the point & shoot is evidently lost. #
• 16:45 Pick a lane, Henry. SHIT he’s such a poor driver. #
• 16:56 wearing a damp sweater because Henry was too lazy to let it dry all the way at the laundromat. It feels fantastic. #
• 16:56 Then he waits until I have my water bottle up to my mouth before slamming on the brakes. At least my sweater was already wet. #
• 17:19 twitpic.com/2l0ro – HOLLA. #
• 17:50 Henry held my hand at the rest stop and tried to play it off by saying he was transferring toilet germs to me. #
• 18:35 If you act like you know where you’re going, no one says anything to you. Henry’s wisdom nugget for the day. #
• 18:38 Just saw Terry Balsamo for the first time in 5 years. Well, the back of his dreads. For 0.5 seconds. #
• 18:49 twitpic.com/2l5ay – We’ll come in now, thanks. #
• 18:55 Henry & I could make a career of standing around like dunces, like the new wave of street performers. Toss us a quarter for looking dumb. #
• 19:08 OMFG @awoodhick is driving me nuts. We’re breaking up. Chooch, I’ll find you a new daddy on Craigslist, k bud? #
• 19:43 I always wanted to be a part of the wave. We’re doing it at my birthday party, fo’sho. #
• 19:54 Dunno what an African finger job is, but swear I heard Henry say he wants one. Someone’s watching tribal porn again. #
• 20:54 Ok he sang 2 words and I started crying #
• 21:21 Henry: “are u ok?” Me: “yes…..no.” #
• 22:50 Ow my heart is perforated. #
• 22:53 Now we’re in the car, leaving, and henry’s pretending like I’m not sobbing. #
  

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• 09:30 I’m so jelis of Chooch’s phlegmy coughs. Srsly. Rly. #
• 10:12 Looked at the Warped Tour lineup so far and promptly cried. #  
• 11:03 My “Smother Time” is in a heart-breaking treasury: tinyurl.com/cxshmf #
• 11:32 Chooch, I love you, but you snot up my shirt one more time? Dust off ur beaded vest, you’re gonna be the newest member of a gypsy caravan. #
• 14:06 My home has been usurped by a jigsaw bivouac. #

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