#5 The Exterminator

My friend Alisha moved here seven years ago from Arkansas.

And in those seven years she had not once visited Pittsburgh’s own little amusement park, Kennywood.

UNTIL LAST MONTH.

(Blogathon makes me cap-happy.)

For the most part, she seemed to enjoy herself. She took a nice paddleboat cruise with a powder blue parasol propped above her head. She hiked up her britches and did the jitterbug in the dancehall. She slaughtered a pig behind a dumpster for the luau.

Yes, Alisha seemed to be having quite the time at Kennywood Park.

Until I suggested we go on the Exterminator.

“What’s it like? Is it spinny?” she asked, only  marginally suspicious at that point.

“NO IT’S LIKE THE WILD MOUSE, BUT INSIDE!” I screamed, because that’s how I talk at Kennywood. In screams.

Blake concurred.  “Yeah, it’s just like this thing in a building and it does stuff.”

So we got in line. I knew she was anxious, because as Blake had said, the ride is indoors and you can’t see any of what it does. Alisha tried to distract herself by making jokes of the warning signs, but I exchanged knowing glances with Blake over her shoulder.

Except that Blake wasn’t paying attention so my knowing glances wafted away into the ether.

We boarded our car and of course I was super giddy and kept laughing deviously, knowing that Alisha was probably going to have a problem at the end of the ride. For the most part, it’s just a mini coaster ride, whipping you around corners and up and down small dips. But toward the end, the car unlocks and begins to spin real fast. I was laughing so hard all the way up until that part, and then I started choking from laughing so hard because Alisha was flipping her shit and that’s what I was put on Earth for – to torture my friends.

After we got off the ride, Blake goes, “Erin, you were laughing so hard and then all of a sudden you just stopped. I thought you died or something!”

“No, I was just trying not to pee!” I lied.

Because I really did pee. Just a little.

This picture is not from the Exterminator, and has nothing to do with the post, but Alisha looks like a Dexter and I wanted to share that with the world.