I was feeling pretty drowsy. And then Alisha made some banging noises so that kind of woke me up. And then she sashayed over here and asked me to open her bottle of Diet DrPepper.
I’m thinking, “What is she, some dummy-turkey? Asking the girl whose fingertips are raw and swollen from all the vigorous typing?” But I felt bad because sometimes Alisha is kind of weak and pathetic. So I stood up and twisted the cap off.
And then I became REAL woke when I was showered with a fountain of sticky sugar. Time stood still for a few seconds as we stood with our arms up and faces twisted, Ju-On style.
“I can’t believe you did that!” she yelled at the same time I yelled, “Did you know that was going to happen??”
So it turns out that the crash I heard was her dropping the bottle onto the floor which landed on the plate that Henry’s fried egg was on (FORESHADOWING!). She thought I knew that had happened and was joking when she asked me to open it because she didn’t think I’d be that dumb.
She forgot that I am a re-re.