Nine years from now, someone asks, “Erin Rachelle Kelly, what did you do on April 4th, 2020?” and I think to myself, “Oh, that was during Pandemic Times, when every day melted into itself like the dude at the end of the Roger Rabbit” but lo! I have a DIGITAL DIARY that I can reference, yes, do you remember those? I think they were called “blogs” where people tap-tapped their thoughts on a keyboard under the illusion that anyone actually read it, or even cared?
I don’t know, I think that even when we’re not living our lives to their fullest capacity during lockdown, it’s still a weird memory to have in and of itself, so I will keep recapping this lame-o life and one day, when I’m like, “All I did was go to Target, how boring” I’ll look back on the weekends when I would have actually performed a lopsided cartwheel through the doors of Target because I CAN’T GO TO TARGET AND AM I REALLY THAT ADDICTED TO BUYING THINGS I DON’T NEED THAT I AM SITTING ON MY COUCH ON A SATURDAY WHINING ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO GO TO TARGET BECAUSE IT’S NOT AN ESSENTIAL THING I NEED TO BE RISKING MY HEALTH AND THE HEALTH OF OTHERS OVER RIGHT NOW?!
That being said, here are some things that happened last weekend because I didn’t just rot in bed all of the days, after all.
The weather was very beautiful on both days last weekend, but even just going out for a walk can be tough. Henry and I went to one of the cemeteries in the Northside and had the whole boneyard to ourselves until toward the end, but you know, cemeteries are good places to social distance with ease, so we never ended up passing the three other people who arrived toward the end. (One of them had two huge dogs and I was sad that Pandemic Times prevents dog-petting. Now I know how Chooch feels.)
Earlier that day, I had gotten the audiobook of Crazy Rich Asians, and Henry agreed to listen to it with me, so that was our cemetery-soundtrack. I was really feeling it. This is a good book to read along with the audiobook because it’s so helpful to hear correct pronunciations of Asian words and the narrator was also really good at various accents. It also helped to pretend that we were in Singapore and not dry-rotting away in boring-ass Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
For dinner, Chooch made these delicious vegetarian bean burritos with some kind of creamy chipotle sauce inside and I don’t even know what else, but now I’m drooling at the memory (and the picture). I love Chef Chooch!
That night, I made them watch Jojo Rabbit. I had already seen it at the theater with Janna (OMG remember movie theaters?? I only go maybe once a year but now I will never take even those for granted. I am going to see a movie once we’re allowed to do things again. But not at a big theater. I only like small, independent ones because I’m a snob.) I thought I would be OK since I had already seen it, but nope. I still cried like a bitch.
(Not as much as Chooch cried two weeks ago when he watched My Girl for the first time, though HAHAHAHA. I mean, I tried to warn him, and he didn’t listen, so then I sent him a bunch of bee memes afterward.)
On Sunday, Henry and I went to Jefferson Memorial, the cemetery where my family lives. I think this cemetery is sooooo underrated as far as Pittsburgh cems go because it’s the kind that eschews headstones for plaques that are flush with the ground, giving the place more of a park-like feel. But there are some really great statues and monuments riddled throughout, and some really glorious pond-spots. You have to go there if you’re in Pittsburgh. It’s also where I learned how to drive!
(Lisa, teaching me to drive in 1996: “Put your right foot on the gas pedal.”
Me: What if I’m left-footed?
Lisa: Then you’re an idiot.)
We listened to more of Crazy Rich Asians while Henry kept edging me off the path and then I started yelling at him about how out of sync we are as a couple and is it him that’s getting under my skin or this fucking pandemic, or is HENRY THE PANDEMIC.
We should be in the Netherlands as I type this, but seeing pretty spring flowers in the cemetery here in Pennsylvania was, well, probably the best consolation I’m going to get right now! I’m surprisingly not as upset about this as I thought I would be, and I think it’s because the whole world is in this boat together and that makes me feel less alone, though still extremely anxious that this is out of my control. I don’t know if you know this about me but I’m kind of a control freak. Pity the fools who have to work on group projects with me.
There were some people out in the cemetery, but not very many. It almost felt like we were back in Normal Days.
This section has reminded me of some far-away Asian land! It’s also the section of the cemetery where one of my favorite Easter photoshoots went down:
That night at Cucino d’Chooch, we had chana masala! He is really getting into kitchen-y things during all of this housebound-ness, so at least something positive is coming from it.
We were just notified the other day that school is officially closed for the remainder of the year, so they’ll be going fully online. I’m glad that he has found a good hobby/interest to break up his days now that he’ll be chained to the laptop all day while I’m chained to the computer all day. Oh shit, the Pioneer Ave. Office is really going to need an HR Department here soon. And a guidance counselor.
In other weekend news, Slut Life got a Mustang convertible on Saturday and Chooch and I spied on him fiddling with the knobs and buttons while parked in the driveway. We were very upset this but then HNC informed us that it was apparently a rental (???) while his regular basic car was getting fix (he wrecked it on one of his many obsessive trips in and out of the garage, lol.
But in MORE Slut Life news, we noticed that he and HNC’s wife seemed to have been having A CIVIL CHAT in their respective yards on Sunday. HNC informed us again that HE APOLOGIZED PROFUSELY to her and that his grandmother had something to do with it (wtf did she scold him for his actions or something lol). So I guess now the feud has fizzled out (for now) but HNC still doesn’t seem sold on him. HOWEVER, I have noticed that ever since that day, he has been turning his radio down or off before pulling in and out of the driveway and he’s also not kicking up asphalt anymore either, so that’s something.
Guys, it’s really boring here. :( Hope you’re finding fun ways to entertain yourself wherever you are! My friend Jessy suggested doing a virtual game night soon so hopefully that happens because I need to see a face that doesn’t belong to a resident of this household, thanks.