impromptu “old hoodie” photoshoot

Hello from my couch in Brookline. Today was v. nice, much sun, etc. so I made Henry go on a cemetery walk with me. It had been a while since we pounded pavement in that beautiful Calvary Cem, so that is where I chose to go. We stopped at Bae Bae’s first for some cold bev and LITERALLY THE BEST SNICKERDOODLE AND DOUBLE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES I HAVE EVER STUFFED INTO MY BIG FAT MOUTH. Henry is like part of some sacred snickerdoodle blood line and even he said PROBABLY when I asked him if it was the best he’s ever had.

Henry never gets very superlative up in this piece so that’s gotta be like the best review Bae Bae’s will ever get, sincerely.

Anyway, I had literally been crying about ten minutes prior to being like TAKE A PICTURE OF ME IN THIS HOODIE because look, I had found this hoodie way in the back recesses of my closet the other day and it just so happens that I bought it in 2007 when I was looking for the perfect top to wear with the pink tutu I had made specifically to flounce around in at Chooch’s 1st birthday party and I was like AT LEAST 70 pounds heavier then and this hoodie barely fit.

I mean, it actually didn’t really fit well at all – I could barely lift my arms because it was so snug.

But now it is all loose and even a little too big but super cozy and it brings back the best memories of when I was trying so hard to be a scene kid even though I WAS A NEW MOM not willing to admit that that ship had gon’ and straight SAILED.

So yes, please enjoy some pictures of me trying desperately to “pose” when my natural instinct is to put my arms up and do a weird tilt. The amount of times “why can’t you be normal” runs through my inner monologue on a daily basis is actually really sad – JUST LET ME BE ME, SELF! Ugh. I have so many personalities constantly arguing with each other on the inside should I be alarmed or nah.

Or jump. I’m also a big advocate for jumping poses. But that’s probably because Jillian Michaels has me trained to jump on cue.

I hate my mouth so I wanted to cover my mouth in all of the pictures but Henry was like STOP BEING WEIRD and it made me wish Chooch had been there (he had to say home and work on a powerpoint about STDs lololol and I suggested that he use pictures of the STD cookies that me, Blake and Janna made several years ago and he was like DAD SAID THE SAME THING. ALSO, NO.) because Chooch takes really good pictures of me (I mean, as good as you can get when you’re working with someone who has a Leno chin and resting&active ugly face.

Henry took this action shot of me pulling pine needles out of my hand. That was fun.

I’m also a fan of “RUNNING TOWARD THE CAMERA” shots.

HERE I COME.

Henry was like WOW YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD RUNNER I BET YOU WOULD LOOK GOOD RUNNING IN A WEDDING DRESS—

lololol jk he def did not say that.

Although now I’m laughing because my ex-friend Keri always said she imagined me being a runaway bride but instead I just get to be a never-bride hahahahah I’m not crying I’m laughing.

Me and my man JC. His hand was actually broken so it was very awkward to hold.

Here I am covering my mouth again and Henry was not a fan of the pose. Also, I was sitting on a tree butt.

Anyway, here’s a trip back to 2007 when I first wore the hoodie and it barely fit and I hadn’t lost a single pound of baby weight yet and my legs were THICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC.

OK thanks for joining me on this photo-journey. I hope you had as much of an OK time as I did.

OH one more thing!!!! I fixed an Easter decoration that had fallen down in front of a grave so pass that shit on to God or whoever.

P.S. Bonus picture of Dumb Henry a/k/a Him Man.