Jan 292023

Every new year, like a broken record, I tell my dear blog that I am going to be MORE SOCIAL! Make NEW FRIENDS! Get OUT OF THE HOUSE! And then I usually fall back into my comfort zone almost immediately. I will admit that most of it is laziness and complacency. Making friends at any adult age is tough but enough’s enough, Erin. Let’s do this.

I had started following this quirky, interesting, artistic girl on Instagram a while back – I want to say it’s been at least since 2016, maybe? I can’t remember, but she came up as recommended on IG because we had a bunch of mutuals. And she also lived pretty close! I want to say it wasn’t until the last 2 years or so when we started interacting a bit more on IG, cautiously suggesting that we should hang out sometime. I think we have both been burnt enough times that it’s not always the easiest to want to put ourselves back out there, in some vulnerable “let’s be friends??” position. So I was trying not to be too pushy about it!

We slowly made the leap from IG DM’s to actual texting, and then we made a friend date!! I was really stoked about it and didn’t get THE NERVES until I got out of my car at Frank & Shirley’s and saw her IRL! DO WE HUG?? NO, PROBABLY NOT. DON’T PRETEND TO BE A HUGGER, ERIN, YOU ARE NOT A HUGGER. STAY CALM. BE COOL.

Yeah, I was SO COOL that I failed to wave to her husband, Dustin, who had dropped her off and I didn’t even realize it until later – SO RUDE. Ugh. (I have actually met Dustin once before IRL and he is a very sweet guy so I totally stan these two as a couple!)

Frank & Shirley’s was packed so we had to wait for about 20 minutes for a table. We sat in two chairs in the “waiting area” which was directly across from the bathrooms, like our knees were nearly touching the bathroom doors, that hallway was so narrow! And you know, this could have been such a recipe for awkward silences, nervous handwringing, but you know what? From the moment we sat down, we started talking AND NEVER STOPPED. Like, no lulls. The most natural transitions. Attentive listening. A cornucopia of topics.

When Nix ordered her pancake and asked for a fruit cup and was told that they only had bananas, would she like that? and she said yes, my mind started spinning with banana scenarios. Would they bring her a full, unpeeled banana on a napkin? On a plate? A saucer? How was this banana going to be served??

Apparently, sliced and in a cup! THIS WAS NOT ONE OF THE POSSIBILITIES I CONSIDERED? I love that this immediately became a shared joke, too. Now I want to make banana jewelry with her. (Maybe I should learn to spell jewelry first as it took me 4x here.)

My instant impression of Nix is that she is fearlessly herself, unique, weird (obvi this is a compliment – weird is good), has a calming presence, a fucking fun fashion sense, and an overall aura that made me feel like somehow this was not the first time we had hung out. Like, we were getting to know each other (“what do you do for work?” etc) but it didn’t feel like a….friend interview? It just felt relaxed and so very easy! Like we were just merely catching up with each other.

I will be real with you, Blog, and admit that I still had a case of The Stutters. I didn’t feel nervous, but I think I have started to pin down why I get this way sometimes with new people and it’s because I’m so excited that I my brain and mouth are NOT IN SYNC. Like, all the things I want to say are whirring through my head and my mouth is like, ‘WHOA NELLY, SLOW DOWN. YOU’RE MAKING US SOUND LIKE WE JUST LANDED FROM ANOTHER PLANET AND ARE FAKING OUR ENGLISH.”

I have just been so lonely. Not to knock Henry and Chooch because of course I love my home life with the fam, but sometimes I am just dying to have someone to talk to. I mean, for God’s sake, a stranger walked into my house and I let him stay for an hour because I was like “YES A VICTIM TO TALK TO!” That’s….fucking depressing, Greta.

We went to the Beth Israel cemetery down the road and Nix found this old meat cleaver thing on the ground! If it had been Janna, I probably would have WRASTLED her for it with all my Leo energy but since I am trying to be my best self, I handed back over to Nix after she let me inspect it and was genuinely happy that she found it which is how I know that this is the beginning of a real-deal friendship.

Also, I think Nix called this her “going to a bank for a loan” look which cracked me up but I loved how every individual element of it was a whole damn vintage mood.

It was such a beautiful day for January! In the high 40s! I’m perpetually cold though so I still had a bit of a chill, which is why I look like I’m holding onto myself for dear life.

Our first selfie together! Looking back on this now, it’s  kind of surreal?! I see her selfies on Instragram all the time and now we’re in one together?! Social media is such a strange construct when you think too hard on it.

It was funny how many times we would talk about a friend (positively, not trash-talking!) and say, “I met them on LiveJournal/music messageboard/MySpace/Instagram.” I really do appreciate social media for that aspect, but I still think there is too much toxicity with it.

I like this picture that Nix took of me when I wasn’t paying attention because I look like I’m overseeing a big construction project.

Overall, I think we spent about 4 hours together and it flew by. It was so nice chilling in the cemetery knowing that a new friendship was blossoming in the midst of beautiful decay. My heart felt SO FULL on my drive home! I called Henry immediately and squealed, “HENRYGUESSWHATIMADEAFRIEND!”


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