Aug 13

Noumena

20140813-124931.jpg

It always ended the same way.

A door cracked open after years of being padlocked. They tried to play it cool. But “how was your day?” and “have you heard this album?” always turned into “I miss us” and “why did you leave?”

They tried to be friends. But the secrets carved scars into their hearts like fault lines and repressed jealousy lashed perfidious words from their tongues like whips.

They would go years without contact. A single phone call on a birthday could be a taste of chaos. The most innocent text could be gasoline on fire. Theirs was an opiate that could only be quit cold turkey. But the psychic connection was still there. The silent “I need you” somehow heard and answered from an entire state away.

And so the cycle continued.

She says: Come here.

“I can’t” means “there’s someone else now.”

She says: There’s never been room for me in your life.

“When you’re in my life, there’s no room for anything else.”

And hey, here comes the guilt again. Dwelling on the past because they have no future.

Promises are made to “figure it out” because neither wants to say out loud that there isn’t a solution. There never was. Just blown-out stars, chest pains and a dirt trail of broken hearts. Collateral damage.

It’s Heaven & Hell. It’s thumbtacks pushed into skin and banana cream pie from Hyde’s. It’s geographical distance and cosmic closeness.

They did this over and over, like ghosts puppeteered by Venus to replay their deaths.

She says: We need to make new memories so we can stop living in the past.

But the other doesn’t respond because she’s already making new memories, with someone else.

It always ended the same way.
One of them floated away.

She says: Maybe we can be together when we’re dead.

“We already are.”

7 comments

7 Comments so far

  1. raeven13 August 13th, 2014 12:58 pm

    I really like this one :)

  2. Octavia August 13th, 2014 8:56 pm

    This is so damn good! It makes me want to listen to “No Children,” by The Mountain Goats. Still can’t believe I missed out on this one!

  3. kendahl August 14th, 2014 11:02 am

    Gah, your writing! Please never stop. I love it.

  4. Corey August 16th, 2014 11:14 pm

    I love the painting and the writing

  5. Tuna Tar-Tart August 18th, 2014 7:10 pm

    Thank you!

  6. Alyson Hell August 26th, 2014 8:46 am

    This truth is so beautiful in its pain.

  7. Tuna Tar-Tart August 26th, 2014 4:11 pm

    I cried so hard when I was writing this. Thank you, as always, for reading it. <3

Leave a comment