A few weeks ago, I reported that Tina had a mysterious wound on her temple. Days passed and it was still there, sometimes scabbed over, sometimes just as fresh and juicy as the first time I noticed it.
Today, I came in early and she asked that I take a walk with her so she could rant and rave like old times. As we walked to the door, I noticed that she was dabbing at her temple trauma with a folded napkin. She pulled the napkin away and it was saturated with bright red blood.
It was BLEEDING.
The question was begging to be asked, so I did. I asked her what the fuck it was, that sticky mound of ruined flesh on the side of her head, what was it?! I tried really hard to keep my mouth from becoming too agape, eyes from becoming too widened.
"Oh, it’s a bug bite. I’ve been picking at it today."
I’m not entirely sure I believe her, but when we came back inside, I excitedly emailed Bob to fill him in. He read it, laughed and said, "I can’t believe you asked her!"
"Dude, it was BLEEDING. Right in front of me! Of course I’m going to ask!"
Then he joked that it was more like an anaconda bite and we laughed and of course Big Bob turned around and asked what was so funny, but we didn’t tell him.
I still like my theory that her husband bitch-slapped her with a candle stick.