Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, you guys, and I’ve added two new cards for 2012! If your concubine is anti-sap and more into macabre humor, then these cards are perfect for you. Otherwise, go cry to mommy.
Got someone in your sights? Woo them with a card featuring the mug of huggable coed killer, Ed Kemper. The words on the card are his own (though I swapped out “her” with “you/your” to make it more personal).
This could be used as a Valentine, a random note to put the fear of God in your stalkee’s heart, or a reminder to your current mate not to feel too safe.
Because no one knows passion more than a serial killer.
Card is standard size and comes with an envelope, because that’s what Ed would do.
Everyone wants to compare their love to a zombie’s affection for brains, but what about mass nurse-slayer, Richard Speck? Let your loved one know that your adoration for them is on par with Speck’s passion for fine, nubile womanly caregivers. Make someone swoon today, why dontcha. Use it as a Valentine; a pick-me-up; a “Sorry I banged the nanny”; a reminder that yes, you’re still there, hiding behind the bush in the front yard.
The inside is blank in case you want to go ransom note-style on it.
This card comes with an envelope! What a fine world we live in.