Dec 10

Pig mask, pig mask, OMG pig mask

Category: pig mask,really bad ideas

So, it’s here! I’m freaking out! It came at a perfect time, because Henry was napping, so I shoved it over my fat head and crept up the bedroom to give him a nice little surprise. And by crept, I mean that I clambered up the steps on my hands and knees, pausing every other step to squeeze back pee.

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I couldn’t stop laughing, and I tried ever so hard to muffle it, but I only ended up making the inside of the pig’s snout very warm and moist.

Anyway, Henry was not sent spiraling into the land of heart attacks, like I had hoped. He rolled his eyes and quietly begged, “Please don’t show that to Chooch” (who was also napping), before rolling back over and pulling the covers up to his chin.

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But I’ll tell you who WILL be taking up residence in the land of heart attacks: My boss, Kim. Everyone got to leave early Thursday night and I thought I was the only one still packing up all of my stuff. (Seriously, I bring half of my house with me in my giant purse, and then it takes me five minutes to stow everything back in it at the end of the night.

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) When I was finally ready, I went to round a corner, where Kim was hiding behind a wall like a child and lurched out at me. I dropped some stuff, that’s how startled I was. I startle very easily. So my plan is to stash the mask in my gigantor purse and wait until late tonight, when all the dayshifters have left and our department is left in silence. I’ll wait for Kim to go to the bathroom, and then I’ll hide behind the door.

I hope she cries.

11 comments

11 Comments so far

  1. Alyson Hell December 10th, 2007 1:43 pm

    “And by crept, I mean that I clambered up the steps on my hands and knees, pausing every other step to squeeze back pee. I couldn’t stop laughing, and I tried ever so hard to muffle it, but I only ended up making the inside of the pig’s snout very warm and moist.”

    *Losing it!*

    I, too, hope Kim cries. I think this is the most perfect and appropriate revenge.

  2. Tart December 10th, 2007 3:04 pm

    Down with authority!

  3. cantcme99 December 10th, 2007 1:51 pm

    Nice! That’s such an awesome mask. Kim WILL have a heart attack.

  4. Tart December 10th, 2007 3:03 pm

    Haha, first time for me to edit a comment!

  5. Janna December 10th, 2007 6:03 pm

    Ugh. I’m a huge idiot. Sorry.

  6. Tart December 10th, 2007 6:08 pm

    HAHA but that’s why I love you, Janna!

  7. Bueno Mexicana December 10th, 2007 2:50 pm

    that mask is… wrong.

    i can’t wait for kim to piss herself tonight!!!!!!
    i hope you pull it off.

    and- i am with henry, DON’T SHOW CHOOCH

  8. Tart December 10th, 2007 3:03 pm

    Thank you for typing more than just “LOL!” I keep marking those throw-away comments as spam. Haha.

  9. lady proxy December 10th, 2007 3:56 pm

    I hope Kim cries too! For different reasons though, lol. >_<

  10. Tart December 10th, 2007 4:00 pm

    Lol! I feel that way sometimes, too. I wish Tina would be here tonight so I could get her too.

  11. Amelia Jane Allard December 11th, 2007 8:43 am

    OMG cannot wait for that story.
    I kind of die a little whenever I look at that picture. Eeeeek.

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