Tina was my secret santa. I had a sneaking suspicion because the reply to my thank you note the other day said "YOU ARE WELCOME" and Tina never uses contractions. I don’t think she knows about them.
Then it was awkward because people were hugging their secret santas and in my head, I could hear echoes of Tina’s voice talking about past sex acts and nude sleeping and lesbians wanting to buy her cars so instead I flashed her my best smile and said thanks.
She really did get me some cool shit though!
perhaps you should have told your secret santa about the secret underworld of contractions…
i mean since you didn’t even hug her!
dude- that hug would have been AWKWARD.
ew, what if we hugged while she was N00D??
oh. well- if you were a man, you’d pop a boner.
i don’t know what you’d do in your current form.
Pop Stanley’s boner?
oh. thanks for reminding me of his crotch!!!
it was missing from my day.
remember when paris hilton touched justin timberlake’s crotch while michael jackson dangled his baby over the balcony of Chateau Marmont and timberland and kanye west watched?
that was almost as shocking as when i found out that jamie lynn spears was pregnant! i thought for sure it would be one of those high school musical girls who would get knocked up first. it’s a baby, and it’s not from the supersperm of zac efron. sorry ashley tisdale… the only person calling you mami is bueno mexicana- when WE’RE DOING IT!!!! .
sources say that johnny depp probably had something to do with this mess. rumor has it that after he lost his chance with tiffany pollard on i love new york 2… he went more crazy than his character in the new hit musical sweeney todd and donated his swimmers to create what mother lynne spears was proclaiming, “the new messiah!” however- an argument on who had better hair resulted in johnny aborting from the project. (yes- i said aborting. say sumthin.)
NEWS FLASH!!!! grey’s anatomy producers have approached barack obama to play a patient named muhammed in need of an emergency kidney transplant, but who is hesitent because of his strong muslim beliefs. well that- and all the drs at seattle grace are idiots. even the black ones are losing it now.
next time on oh honestly erin’s almost true e-news with bueno mexicana:
Lindsay Lohan and fall out boy to wed while j lo gives birth to sextuplets and madonna adopts 3 more chinese children, but not before her sex tape with chris brown is leaked!!!!!!!
i feel like you-
i just edited that comment 5 times in the last 2 mins.
It’s not easy being a perfectionist.
I wonder if she traded with someone else so she could have you?????
Ew, I never even considered that! I wouldn’t put it past her.
I read the first line and gasped out loud! I agree with aafetzer, she traded to get you!
That feels so sleazy!