Feb 152009


Chooch, looking forlorn at McDonald’s, moments before he befriended an autistic boy whom he dubbed “Hey Kid.”

When I was growing up, we weren’t a McDonald’s family (and the audience yells, “Then how’d ya get so fat, Erin?”). We’d go occasionally, but never actually eat inside. However, now that I’m a parent, I still don’t endorse the place but we do take Chooch there occasionally in the winter just so he can play with other kids. (Otherwise, his only play mate is his sixteen year old brother and that always starts out well but then Blake gets carried away and teases him mercilessly. Like an older brother should, in fact.)

It’s exciting for me to watch my kid interact with others, since he isn’t really around children his own age very much. (Alarmingly, I am usually the only parent who seems aware of what’s going on. One time, there was an againg wigger-dad who texted the whole time, only stopping to shout things like, “Get your ass over here and eat this!”)

The intricacies of child-interaction are pretty amazing to me, like being in the monkey house at the zoo. Interestingly, the older kids always seem to take him in under their wings, and they’ll even wait for him to catch up. When we were there last week, Chooch honestly had his own crew. He fucking ran that place and it was amazing to watch. He’s eithe rgoing to grow up to be a politician or a Blood kingpin.

I wasn’t like that as a kid. I always stuck around the adults, too shy to join a group of kids who had already established a clique. But not Chooch; shit, he dives right on it. And god only knows what goes on in those mysterious Playland tubes and tunnels, because at one point some small girl with a babydoll approached Chooch and yelled, “And don’t you hit me again, baby!” to which Chooch responded by laughing riotously in her face. You beat those bitches, son.

Thankfully, he stayed clear of the children who belonged to the table of washed-up strippers. One of the daughters was around 8 and totally not wearing any underwear, I fucking swear to shit. She’d bend over and her entire crack was smiling for all the see. Henry’s sister thought I was exaggerating, but later she goes, “Oh. Oh god. I know exactly what kid you were talking about.” She seemed scarred, as she should be.

  9 Responses to “Random Picture Sunday”

  1. Delia takes a while to warm up to other kids but once she does she’ll grab them by the hand and lead them all over.

    • It’s like, I can’t imagine being a kid and thrown into a social situation like that. Maybe that’s why I’m so socially retarded now, because I was never given opportunities like that as a child?

      • Yeah, I kind of worry about that with her. She doesn’t get much exposure to other kids so I drag her off to the mall playground. I had other little kids in the neighborhood growing up plus a sibling. She doesn’t have any of that.

        Michelle´s last blog post..FREE Suave

  2. I took my nieces to the playground inside the mall the other day. I found that they just kind of did their own things, occasionally bumping into each other, but not really dealing with any other kids. It kinda made me sad. You should be proud of Chooch for interacting so well with others. :)

    • The last time we were there, Henry’s sister met us with her 4-year-old son and I noticed that he didn’t interact with any other kid. I wondered then if it was because he comes from a family with five other siblings, so he’s never had the need to socialize outside of his family. Maybe that’s the same with your nieces – they have each other so they’re like, “Screw the rest!”

  3. Child interaction IS interesting, isn’t it? You get to actually watch while they learn how to be social.

    Goddamn McDonald’s. Tastes so damn GOOD and it’s so awful!

    • Seriously! Fast food is the devil. The only thing that keeps me from it is not eating meat — my choices are limited.

      Except Taco Bell. They can make pretty much anything there with rice substituted for meat. Taco Bell is my weakness!

      I’m bracing myself for the first time Riley calls a bigger kid an asshole and gets his block knocked off.

  4. Sounds like your kid rules the playground. Hell, he’d probably be the leader in my own group of friends. I would like some chicken nuggets now.

    Nicholas´s last blog post..Strawberries

  5. I would always hang back as a kid, too. It’s great that he’s so social at his age. :)

Say it don't spray it.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.