View from the elevator bank of Chooch’s floor at his Drexel suite.

Yes, that means we were in Philly, returning our PRECIOUS GOODS to the Home of Gritty. :(

And can you believe that Henry had the audacity to suggest I STAY HOME because I woke up feeling a sickness coming on? It was the beginning stages of a head cold / sinus thing. I wasn’t yet dripping like a broken faucet (that would be Monday and Tuesday) but I was in the extreme “my face is constructed of shifting tectonic plates” type of pressurized pain. Plus, I slept for most of the ride there and that just isn’t something I do especially since I brought a book with me AND we were having a nostalgic Pierce the Veil deep dive which started because earlier that morning in our bedroom, Henry goes, “Since when do they play this on the radio???” and I had to actually ear-squint to hear because my brain initially rejected the information that it was PTV. That’s a good indication that I was sick—I can usually pick up on what’s playing in the bedroom FROM DOWNSTAIRS. It drives Henry nuts, especially because the bedroom radio isn’t even on loud.

But yes, it was PTV! Granted, we haven’t listened to the alternative radio station here in years but only recently put it on again when I accidentally go back into hockey since that’s the station that airs the games and we don’t have the ability to watch it on TV.

PHEW that was a lot to say: we were inspired to listen to PTV in the car that day.

I had to laugh though because Henry used to be the disgruntled lone passenger on a stinky bus to Frown Town anytime we’d go see Pierce the Veil but now he is so far-removed from that timeline that it’s a nostalgic listen for him I guess and he defensively said in the car, “I NEVER SAID I DIDN’T LIKE THEM.” Oh, OK! Coulda fooled me!

Anyway, this song is three years old already so who knows when The X started playing it. Before we move on from the PTV portion of this post, I need to just remind everyone that they have been one of my favorite bands since 2007 and I will never not love them, and Vic is one of the few singers from that scene who has never let us down.

Oh, this has nothing to do with Sunday, but yesterday Henry was telling me that he was almost done with a book that I have been hounding him to read for years. “She just got fired,” he said.

“And she doesn’t have a back-up plan?” I quipped, all nudge-nudge, wink-wink. He just looked at me blankly.

“Oh OK, I guess you’re not really a Pierce the Veil fan after all!” I cried. IT WAS A REFERENCE TO THIS SONG, ASSHOLE.

(I can’t hear the part “You know I’ve never held a gun in my life / but now I carry one around in case I see you tonight” without tears spontaneously springing forth.)

Anyway! After helping Chooch unload all of his crap to his room (don’t worry, we interrogated him before we left home that morning to make sure he had his: wallet, backpack, laptop, student ID after last time when he left ALL OF THOSE THINGS AT HOME), we took the train to…wherever – I still don’t know my way around, but it was like 5 stops from where we got on at the Drexel campus lol – and then walked about 15 minutes until we arrived at Madjal Bakery, a Syrian bakery that I found out about from Cari Cakes when she was visiting home a few weeks ago from Korea. (If you read the plethora of nauseating Korea blog posts from 2 years ago, you might remember that she is an American expat Youtuber in Korea – I have been a subscriber since 2017 when I found her “apartment tour” video during a very chaotic period in my life when I was 100% convinced of giving it all up and moving to Seoul. And we ended up running into her in Seoul on that trip and had an awkward conversation lol.)

Cari really pimped this place out well so I had to try it.

We ended up getting there RIGHT BEFORE a huge influx of customers, and also right before they sold out of the pastry I had my heart set on – the pistachio cinnamon roll.

It’s small inside but very pretty.

Pictured: Tahini Rye Brownie; Tahini, Maple & Pecan Babka; and my coveted Cinnamon Cardamom Bun with pistachio cream cheese frosting.

YES, SIR!!! Everything was divine.

Henry and Chooch also got some savories which they loved. And no, all those baked goods weren’t just for me! We split them, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

I also got a hot spiced tea which was perfecto for the state I was in that afternoon.

Also, I’m sorry but any time I  think of Men I Trust (see: Chooch’s shirt), I’m immediately transported to the backseat of Corey’s car, seeing a dead lady on a sidewalk outside of the Mattress Factory, UGH.)

The man working that day (I don’t think it was the owner based on Instagram) was so friendly. I appreciated that every time he said, “Hi there!” to a new customer, it felt sincere and didn’t devalue the “Hi there!” he gave to us when we walked in, lol. I’m very protective of the salutations bestowed upon me! He made me feel SEEN and was very patient as we deliberated amongst ourselves.

We were lucky to get a table with three chairs, because as soon as we sat down, there was an unrelenting surge of customers through the door, like some divine God Hand was reaching down from the heavens to finger-pluck people off the sidewalks and deposit them on Madjal’s stoop. Good for Madjal!

Highly recommend this place and already can’t wait to go back and try more! (Preferably when I’m not on the verge of a sinus situation.)

Afterward, we decided to eschew public transportation and walk back to campus – it was about an hour walk but the sun was shining and it’s all flat so it was a really nice afternoon stroll. Especially after being cooped up in  the car for 4+ hours. Right away, we passed a record store and Chooch slipped inside. We had to stay outside because we had beverages, but then curiosity got the best of me so I thrust my tea at Hery and walked inside. It was mayhem in there! Then when you factor in my invisibilty, people were just stepping out in front of me left and right and it was very frustrating because I could see Chooch halfway down an aisle, holding up a record to show me, but it was like I was in some niche 1990s NES game, trying to navigate through a record store and reach my son while patrons blocked my path every step of the way and poorly-placed tables further obstructed me while also delivering insulting blows to my hipbones. It was almost comical.

Then I walked back to the counter with him to check out. There were two men working – one very young, one old. The older of the two was ringing Chooch up with the younger one kept directly asking me something about a bag. I couldn’t hear him – HELLO, I WAS SICKLY – and asked him to repeat himself, but Chooch was over there answering, “yes.” So I thought that was the end of it but then the guy asked me AGAIN and I swear he was saying that they needed to check my bag. I was like, “You have to check my bag?” to which he said the thing again but as if he were swimming in a fishbowl and I was desperately trying to parse this together in my clogged-head.

Chooch was still next to me saying “yes” and this is when it finally occurred to me, AFTER I WAS HANDING OVER MY PURSE, that he was asking us if we wanted a bag. And even though Chooch kept saying yes, it was like he NEEDED TO HEAR IT FROM ME TOO which added to the confusion.

“I thought you were saying you needed to check my bag, I was so confused!” I laughed nervously. The older guy laughed too and joked, “Give us your purse, show us what you’re hiding in there!”

It was so bizarre but luckily ended with us all chuckling like it was some sketch from The State that ended up on the cutting room floor.

We were regaling this scene to Henry afterward and Chooch actually had my back and didn’t make me out to be the fool in the situation! I was….shocked.

This is part of the Magic Gardens – the artist, Isaiah Zagar, actually just died in February. :( His mosaics can be found on the facades of a lot of buildings in Philly.

Literally, such a beautiful spring day. Just chilly/windy enough to need a light denim jacket but that shining sun was so wonderful, especially on my face as it felt like it was being torn in two. Fucking sinuses.

I loved this walk and prolonged time with Chooch! Also, we were joking that we’ve now been to Philly at least a dozen times what with concerts and Drexel stuff and still have not done anything tourist-related aside from the Mutter Museum, which we passed on our walk back and I had no idea it was so close to Drexel! I threatened Chooch that one day, Henry and I will come to visit just to do tourist things and he mumbled, “Great, can’t wait.”

I hate these goodbyes. This one cut especially deep because we don’t know when we’ll get to see him again since his first co-op has just ended and now he’ll be in classes all through the summer until his next co-op starts. We’ll definitely see him end of August / beginning of September to help him move into his new apartment (we got to see the outside of it on Sunday – it is on the cutest street!!) so that should be a nice headache.

And then we just found out yesterday that he forgot his toothbrush charger and potentially his earbud charger.

Ugh you guys, I’m sad looking at this because 1. it was our last full day with Chooch at home and 2. it was the last day of good health before some kind of sinus nightmare hit me. I feel like all I have been doing since Sunday night is leaking out of my face and fitfully sleeping.

I’ll have to make this one short because I have Kleenex plugging my nostrils and my eyes and every time I blink, more emotionless tears fall from my eyes.

We took Chooch out to lunch on Saturday. He had plans to play football with some friends afterward, and then went geochaching later that night, so I was glad that he fit in his lame ‘rents on his last day home.

I will just say this now – I don’t get the hullaballoo over Spoonwood. The food is just OK and the beer is mid, and the atmosphere does NOTHING to balance that out. But you have no idea how much people here love this place. I only suggested it because we had a gift card and their current beer list sounded OK.

I hated every beer I had there last year when we went for Chronica’s going away party. In fact, it was such a weird vibe that day with the way Spoonwood treated Chronica that even they started to reconsider their loyalty. There was one server in particular that day who was completely rude and exchanged words with Monica even though Monica HAD CALLED SPOONWOOD IN ADVANCE TO TELL THEM TO EXPECT A LARGE-ISH PARTY THAT DAY. Spoonwood dropped the ball bigly and then tried to make Chronica feel like it was an error on their part and that ain’t it, sis.

Anyway, as soon as we arrived on Saturday, Henry IMMEDIATELY had a near-collision with THAT SERVER so I texted Chris to tell her this, after the hostess sat our party of  three at a tall table meant for eight people?! Bro, we got there right when Spoonwood opened and there was an entire floor full of empty 4-seaters but OK, put us at this large-ass party table?! We felt so weird sitting there so we asked to move to a normal table, god forbid causing friction right off the bat! They did let us move but I felt like we were getting some dagger-y staff side-eyes after that.

Get over yourselves, Spoonwood.

I actually did moderately like the taster I got:

And then I got a full-sized Working Class Hero because it said it had corn in it. It was OK. I didn’t like anything Henry got.

Also, I got a falafel wrap and it was OK. The falafel was kind of dry, and there was no “wow factor” to it – it tasted like an average falafel wrap. I got cornbread for my side and that was also dry but also kind of OK. Again, I don’t get the hype over this place?!

I will say that three lunches and a bunch of beers cost less than our completely underwhelming lunch at Busch Gardens last week. I still haven’t recapped that because Hipstamatic keeps freezing on me when I try to edit my pictures, but I’ll tell you now that our lunch there was $98 and came with much less food and that didn’t even include the two beers that Henry and I got. Theme parks are so shameless!!

Meanwhile, I happened to glance over to my left and noticed a woman at a table that I am 99.99% sure I played doubles with when I was a freshman in high school. She was a grade above me and we were friendly, and I think we were even Facebook friends when I was still using that garbage site, but I have this complex where I assume that no one remembers me. Chooch kept threatening to go over to her table and say, “Excuse me, are you Julie? My mom talks about you ALL THE TIME.”

He’s such an asshole, lol.

When we came back, Chooch went off with his friends and Henry and I walked to Uptown Coffee in Mt. Lebanon because Megan tipped me off to their banana pancake latte and I was in THE MOOD FOR IT. First of all, the girl who took our order was wearing a Wonder Years shirt, and then there was a comically tall barista wearing a hat that said something like, “I’m just a little guy” or something and that really endeared him to me. I don’t come to this place often at all, but the last I went was during the pandemic when Chooch and I walked there and I remember having a great interaction with the barista over her Michael Myers tattoo, and Chooch was so embarrassed because god forbid his mother ever engages in small talk!

I was actually remembering this when Henry and I were walking there that afternoon and exclaimed, “Chooch is the reason I can’t do small talk anymore, and resort to acting like an alien just beamed to Earth every time someone asks me a question.” Speaking of complexes!

Can confirm that the banana pancakes latte slapped – I think I need to fully divorce myself from 802 and Potomac Station because even though they are way more convenient to get to from our house, they disappoint more than anything. The owner of Potomac is all about teaming up with Pgh influencers (Yinzfluencers???) now and their Insta has become to annoying and try-hard. I just want a good latte, is all. But there is always something…off. And the baked goods are very hit or miss – everything tastes of Crisco.

Uptown had a much more robust selection of baked goods and their snickerdoodle was top tier. I hate that Henry and I split one instead of each getting our own!

Right before we left, a super tall man came in – had to have been over 6’5″ – and the super tall barista was eyeing him up territorially, like he didn’t want to be dethroned as TALLEST IN THE CAFE, even temporarily. It was crazy because they were both extremely tall, comically even.

And that has been 1,000 words about a Saturday. Thank you, thank you.

*OK maybe let’s not get too hyperbolic about that but we now have TWO cafes, is what I’m trying to say, and the last time I read the Barista Bible, I’m pretty sure there was a passage about how it might only take one man to part a sea, but it takes 2 cafes to start a scene. Nespresso, 3:14.

Way back in August of 2023 when we came back from our Coaster Crew vacation, I was walking my usual trail through Brookline when I noticed that a storefront that has been abandoned for YEARS was displaying mysterious activity. I peeped in one of  the windows and saw that a counter had been placed inside, with what looked like a fry-grill thingie behind it. There was also mail on the counter! I texted Henry post haste like, “Wake up, babe, something’s brewing on the blvd!”

It seemed like they had some set-backs because a good solid year of non-activity followed. But then process began again and signage was put up, lots of “coming soon!” promises. But this started last spring! Eventually, a sign was put up with the name and I found the place on Insta. I followed immediately but there was no information other than it was going to be a Yemeni cafe.

Earlier in the year, they started posting legit updates, showing sneak peeks inside and then FINALLY they launched their soft-opening about two weeks ago!

Chooch and I walked there today on my break and I was so excited! The place was poppin’ for it being 2PM on a random Wednesday. I loved to see it!

I ordered the Socotra signature latte with pistachios, Chooch got a Spanish latte, and we got a slice of honey cake and pistachio milk cake to share.

This place is beautiful! I couldn’t get a picture of the banquette area which is lined with these gorgeous cushions, because it was taken by a party of women and I didn’t want to be like, “Say cheese, latte-lovers!”

I don’t know about Chooch’s, but my latte was very refreshing and delicious and 100x better than anything I’ve ever gotten across the street at 802 Cafe. Maybe it’s because that place is run by this woman who genuinely rubs me the wrong way – one time she got real condescending with me because I ordered a latte that came with cold foam and asked for it hot with almond milk and said, “But the cold foam is fine” because I’m so used to people asking if I still want whipped cream or cold foam when I ask for a milk alternative, and this bitch goes, “WELL YOU ASKED FOR IT HOT SO THERE WON’T BE ANY COLD FOAM…!?!?!?!!?” in this fucking sneering shit-eating tone and I was so close to telling her, “Cool, then you can just SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS” but Henry was with me and he was already giving me a disapproving stare as though he was anticipating attitude. Also, I overheard her saying unsavory shit about the vaccine during Covid so I’m pretty sure I know exactly where her votes go. DOWN THE FUCKING COMMODE.

But anyway, I liked it better when it was run by the really nice man before her, and he had a wonderful big dog named Max who would hang out in the cafe but now this bitch has a NO DOGS ALLOWED sign on the door, further telling you everything you need to know about her ass.

And before that, it was a Brookline classic called Cannon Coffee and I truly miss that place. It was a legit coffee-lovers cafe. I used to get real macchiatos there.

Anyway!!! Back to Socotra. I will say that it was on the richer side, price-wise, but the quality of what we got didn’t make me mad about it. Both of our cakes were what I would call an afternoon delight without the scandalous innuendos. Especially the pistachio milk cake! It was straight up sopping in a puddle of milk like a missing lyric from the Starland Vocal Band’s notebook.

We also had to wait quite a while for our order even though there was only one order in front of ours, and then the people after us somehow got theirs first. I don’t know what was going on but I will cut them some slack since they just opened and are likely ironing out their kinks.

Idiot Henry texted me and asked us to bring him something home, which was annoying and at first we decided we weren’t going to since he could have just met us there – he got home from work shortly after we left – but then I felt bad (what is wrong with me!?) and got him a piece of the pistachio milk cake which he promptly beasted and agreed that it was very good.

Henry liked it, you guys.

Then on our walk home, we stopped to talk to Jeannie the Crossing Guard who has known Chooch since his elementary school days (she is such a lovely lady) and right after that, the passenger of a car driving by yelled, “IT’S CHOOCH!” out the window and it ended up being our friends Niffer and Weird Paul! Chooch is very popular in Brookline, it was like I was walking with the mayor.

Well, anyway. That was my Brookline cafe review.

We’re en route to Philly (BIG SAD FACE) and I need to record this for posterity: before we left this morning, OUR HOUSE BY MADNESS was playing on the radio in our bedroom. Ughhhhhh. (If you read my NYE post, then you know!)

It’s 9:54am and Henry just ate a full Tastykakes pack like there was no tomorrow. Probably didn’t even chew.

Lololol.

12:11pm: An hour left – I finished this book in the meantime which is why I have neglected this boring-ass live blog.

Here are some pictures from our late lunch at Tillie’s yesterday! Chooch requested that we go there and we never say no to a Tillie’s request.

During lunch, chooch made a comment about how Henry “always” leaves leftovers at the restaurant which is hyperbolic but he has definitely done this on occasion! More like leftovers-adjacent but there was this time where we METICULOUSLY curated a bag of taffy from the candy shop at Holiday World only for Henry the Stoop to leave it in the hotel room after we checked out the next morning. (He had put it in the mini fridge, making it out of sight, out of mind!)

And wouldn’t you know it, we were nearly out of McKeesport when Chooch goes, “did you bring the food?” NOPE. NO HE DID NOT. Henry decided to go back and I was like there is no way they kept it, that shits been trashed, but Henry insisted that since it had only been 10 minutes it would likely still be there?! Like there is some “10 minute” guarantee on left behind leftovers?!

No. It was gone. LOL. My friend Chris commented on my IG post and said leaving behind Tillie’s leftovers is a mortal sin – AGREED. You’re the worst, Henry.

12:18pm: Chooch doesn’t have his backpack. His laptop is in his backpack. Awesome!

1:38pm: on our way to a cafe and I think this is the best subway experience we’ve had in Philly ever.

Also some guy was playing Luther Vandross’ “here & now” on his saxophone while we were waiting and I originally thought it was Vanessa Williams’ “Save the Best for Last” – I think something is actually deteriorating (not dethroning like autocorrect assumed) in my brain. :(

2:13pm: Henry said it looks like he’s praying to get away from us wow.

Anyway we made it to Grindcore House!

Satisfying!

Chooch is being so annoying BTW.

3:11pm: made it back to whatever station this is.

Chooch is still being annoying. (Look at his hostage smile?!!) And Henry is complaining. I just look old and tired.

3:42pm: Chooch is looking for his wallet in the car before we drop him off because I can imagine that being another pertinent item he left at home. Henry said something about him being a dick. “Can you please not swear in front of him,” Chooch said before causally saying, “oh there’s my gum!”

Anyway he things his wallet is in his backpack in his room in Pgh lololol ugh.

3:51pm: We just dropped him off and he said “cool bye I’ll see you in Korea I guess.” Wow bye love you too.

oh here are pictures of the Grindcore House bathroom:

And now for the long drive home.

What a nice time with Chooch though, getting to revive our fake rivalry over who Penelope loves most, jokingly telling him to can it every time we fake bicker, watching Season 5 of Stranger Things over Thanksgiving and Christmas and seeing the finale together at the theater. That dumb WWE thing. Seeing Marty Supreme with him at the Hollywood Theater on Friday (such a fantastic but stressful film!!) and sharing Stranger Things memes and theories. I really love that kid. :(

5:06pm: Now we’re listening to the Pens game on iHeartRadio lol. I had to redownload the Pens app to access the WWE tickets from work and in doing so I started getting game notifications again and just like that, sucked back in. I haven’t actively watched since 2017 or so because we got rid of cable and I had no way to watch after that and considered it a blessing for my health because as you may know, hockey was such a blood pressure jacker for me. I have no idea who even anyone is on this team now aside from the mainstays.

5:39pm: Pens made it to overtime with like 14 seconds left!

Henry keeps asking me all these Pens questions and I’m like bro I haven’t paid attention to hockey for the same amount of time as you so how would I know?! Apparently he just wants me to google all of this for him for free. (I didn’t even know who their new coach was!!)

5:43pm: YOOOO PENS WIN IN OT! CROSBY! On that note I’m ending this live blog. 2 hours and 42 minutes left.

The last time we went to Philly, a week after Chooch’s move-in, was to bring him the rest of his stuff. We had a big ass laundry bag of clothes in the car, on which he did his signature dismissive half-assed once-over and determined there was “nothing in there” that he “needed.”

Flash forward a few weeks later, I’m in Romania getting agitated texts from him declaring that he has “no hoodies.” International borders and boundaries don’t exist between children and parents, you guys. Who cares that darling mother and father are on their fake honeymoon, child has needs!!

Henry’s head nearly exploded over this. “THAT WHOLE BAG HE SAID HE DIDNT NEED WAS FULL OF HOODIES!!!”

(Can we pause here to ponder the fact that this is coming from the kid who is “never cold” and wears T-shirts and shorts through December? College has changed him.)

And this is how we found ourselves waking up at 6am on Saturday and driving to Philly.

Fun fact: it’s about the same driving time from Pgh to Philly as it is from Bucharest to Sibiu but waaaaaay less interesting and feels so  much longer. But it’s worth it to SEE OUR PRECIOUS CHOOCH.

First, we walked to this food hall on the Penn campus because I wanted a Goldie tehina shake. They are magical. I also got a falafel pita. We all ordered from somewhere different – Chooch got a forage burgers at Gouldburgers and Henry got chicken at some place that took forever and he kept walking over to decode what was going on behind the counter.

“They’re all just standing there!” he reported back 3x but Chooch and I didn’t care because we had our food and were content, lol.

Then we had to drive to Giant so Chooch could get groceries, legit my least favorite thing to do and I am so vocal about how much I dislike it. I was no help as usual. Just stood in everyone’s way. I did help Chooch choose bags of frozen fruit for smoothies though because smoothies are one thing I excel at even though I haven’t made one for myself since that fateful July morning that Drew died and will probably never again make my own smoothie, we’ll see, but the trauma has affected strange parts of my once-daily rituals.

So fucking boring. Although I was happy when Chooch said that he needed to start eating more fruits and vegetables. Yay! Someone else’s parent probably convinced him of that, who knows.

Back on campus, I demanded that he take us up to the top floor because I wanted to see it. He actually hadn’t been there yet himself?!!? It’s only 3 floors up from his room but I needed to see the views. It’s a really nice space up there – it has a kitchen and a really nice lounge area. I feel like I would be hanging out there a lot if I lived there, but that’s just me.

There were two girls up there doing work so we were mindful of that and kept our weird family squabbles to a whisper.

Then it was picture time, Chooch’s favorite! We got him that Frank Ocean shirt in Bucharest from some streetwear rack at a sidewalk market type thing that we stumbled upon by happy accident. Chooch seemed to actually like it so I was stoked! The Frank Ocean head is separate piece of puffy fabric attached to the shirt and the tag says that the fabric is made in Romania. So I had to get it.

I feel like the only time I look genuine in pictures is when someone is taking a picture of me with Chooch. THAT IS MY REAL SMILE/FACE YOU GUYS. I love him so much and miss him.

The vibe is very different with these two lol. Also would like to point out how much better I am at making sure dumb things aren’t in the picture when I’m the one behind the camera. Henry is the worst at that!

I think this is when I was interrogating him, things like, “If your dad and I got divorced, whose side would you pick?”

“Penelope’s,” he said with no hesitation.

Then I asked him if he’s ever surprised that we haven’t gotten divorced by now and he said, “You literally have only been married for like a year.” He’s giving us a lot of credit!

Then Chooch started saying he was bored which means he was ready for us to leave so he could go play Spikeball or whatever it is he does there on the weekends. I was just so happy to get to spend a few hours with him though! And we booked his flight home for Thanksgiving so I have that to look forward to, as well. I think I’m OK. Things are OK. He seems happy and that is all I need to know.

We only got about 2 – 2.5 hours with Chooch on Saturday but it was so worth it. We got to University City a little after 3PM and there was a flea market thing going on so one of the streets was blocked off AND THERE WAS A MISTER SOFTEE ICE CREAM TRUCK PARKED PLAYING ITS HAUNTING MELODY!

“Did you get a Mister Softee???” I panted by way of greeting.

“No,” Chooch sighed because unlike me, he does not fine reasons to obsess over the little things, like an East Coast soft serve franchise with a creepy cone logo. 

“I wish I had worn my Mister Softee shirt,” I murmured through waves of regret.

This time Henry got to take the elevator up – we did not make him climb 20 floors, which is he STILL crying about, by the way. In fact, I even texted Chooch the other day and said, “OMG guess what he’s crying about right now.”

“Idk. The steps?”

DING DING DING.

“I’m sorry, but you two fuckers LEFT ME IN THE STAIRWELL. I could have had a heart attack!!! I could FEEL MY HEART BEATING IN MY EARS,” Henry raged from the kitchen when I told him I ratted out his whining to our judgmental son.

Chooch actually had one of these already on his desk! Granted, he had it upside down, but that’s fine. I fixed it, framed the Marvel Cave one, and then picked up the ICONIC picture of Henry rummaging through my backpack in the Busan train station. Chooch took this picture of him that day and we laughed about it heartily for the rest of the trip. I can vividly remember sitting at a table in the train station, nursing drinks from a cafe, and cracking up over this while Henry sat alone and smoldered haha. We were so slap-happy. Then I printed and framed the picture for Chooch that Christmas.

Meanwhile, I presented one of his roommates with the shoo-fly pie we had brought from Dutch Haven and I don’t know what I was expecting, the equivalent of a Publisher’s Clearinghouse Sweepstakes winner reaction, but he was like, “OK” or something and I was like, “WOW OK” and then stewed over that for the rest of the day. I brought it up immediately after we left the room and were waiting for the elevator.

“I don’t think your roommates like me,” I whined to Chooch, who did not care about this at all and said, “Well, they were having a conversation and were distracted” but ONLY ONE OF THEM WAS IN THE ROOM DURING THE PIE PRESENTATION.

“I like your high school friends better,” I said sadly but also not without a hearty dose of crybaby poutiness.

“Wow,” Chooch mumbled, again not caring.

Then we took Chooch to GIANT, a grocery store which is apparently of no affiliation to our local Giant Eagle grocery stores. He’s trying to be a grown-up I guess and opted for the lowest tier of the dining plan and alleges he will be “cooking” at “home” for most of his meals.

Um.

‘K.

Henry left us to go to the bathroom so we wandered down the baking aisle where Chooch started to ogle the flour.

“I should get flour,” he said.

“For what??? Isn’t that for BAKING?” I cried, gagged by incredulity.

“Um, yeah, that’s why I want to get it,” he scoffed.

“Well, I don’t know what kind you’d need so you have to wait for him to come back from the bathroom,” I said, dusting this whole uncomfy sitch off my shoulders.

“Yeah, I wasn’t asking you, believe me,” he sighed.

He did grab a thingie of sugar though because he said they “made lemonade” whatever that means the other night and had to use I forget what to sweeten it. Honey I think he said, I quit listening because I WAS SO BORED.

While we were there, Henry signed up for a Giant loyalty card thing because he’s a good homemaker. Chooch also made us buy him a pineapple plant, not shown.

And just like that, our time with Chooch was up. We took him back to his apartment, his roommates came down to help him with the groceries, and then Chooch and I hugged goodbye awkwardly which ACTUALLY IS PROBABLY JUST AWKWARD TO EVERYONE ELSE BUT  NORMAL FOR US SO LEAVE US ALONE.

This was Henry’s truck stop dinner later that night. He had to assemble his hoagie that he bought at 7-Eleven and that’s the face he made after I started dry-heaving to best convey my disgust at this splayed meat exhibition.

Also fun to note is that I was still on a mission to get all of my steps for the day so at every truck stop, I made Henry walk all around the parking lot with me, EVEN THROUGH THE BIG RIG SECTIONS and we started laughing because to all of the truckers in their cabs, they probably thought I was a LOT LIZARD leading Henry to the PARTY ROW for some COMMERCIAL COMPANY.

Why yes, I did Google trucker sex lingo and apparently there really isn’t much they use over the CB in case the POPO BE EAR-PEEPIN’. But I learned PARTY ROW and COMMERCIAL COMPANY after going down the lot lizard rabbit hole and just an FYI, I learned about lot lizards back when I had a Blackberry and used to play around on some CB radio channel on it with truckers.

Well, I guess that’s all. Chooch is officially back in Philly, working his co-op which he said seems cool so far, and learning how to make things with tofu which is already a step ahead of me.

I’m not crying about him being gone, I’m crying about him surpassing me in the cooking area.

Just so  you know.

*aka Chooch Moves Back to Philly Day :(

8:58am: Waiting for Henry to come back with the rental SUV – he hilariously thought that renting a larger car would mean only one trip but after seeing all of Chooch’s shit in the living room, it’s become quite clear that Henry and I will still be taking that second trip next weekend lol. How do other people do this without renting a Uhaul (Drexel says no Uhauls!)??

10:03am: We’re leaving :( Chooch was saying goodbye to Penelope and I started crying. This sucks and feels worse than last year somehow.

But hey some good news! So the whole draw of Drexel is that they have co-ops so graduates will already have 1 to 1.5 years of work experience in their field when they graduate. This is why Chooch chose Drexel over Pitt (and because he didn’t want to stay in Pgh). Anyway, they had three rounds of co-op applications or whatever starting in June. He got no interviews for the first round. Second round he had one and then didn’t get it. Third round JUST happened 2 weeks ago and brother when I say I have been stressed to the point of sickness this summer – basically if he didn’t get a co-op he’d have to take classes this quarter which means we’d have to take out another last minute loan, etc. just a lot of financial stress when we have been kind of doing ok.

All week we’ve been preparing for that. He had some calls with his advisor and it seemed like that’s what was going to have to happen. Then! He had an interview yesterday at noon and by 2::30 they offered him a position! Not trying to doxx my kid here but it’s at a museum (!!!) and he will be doing meta-data and archival work whatever that means. The weight that melted off my shoulders when he sent me a screenshot of the job offer (he was actually at our neighbor’s house cutting grass – the guy on the street behind us with the Corgi!) – I knew I had been carrying a lot of stress this summer but didn’t realize just how much until I read that email.

You guys I even prayed sort of in my own way over this! It was awkward but I did it.

10:40am: Pulled into a Sheetz. Chooch is bitching because he realized he brought one of the reusable straws in his Dunkin and doesn’t know what to do with it now that his drink is empty so he told Henry to throw it away and I piped up, “no!! It’s reusable! That’s the whole point of reusable straws so that you don’t throw it out!” And everyone is annoyed with me but you’re welcome, Straw, for living to be sucked on another day.

11:10am:

Here is Son, having backseat bitch fest because he doesn’t like the food at Sheetz but was forced to get something since Henry starved him all morning.

OMG HUGE FIGHT ALERT: when we were at Sheetz I tried to get a fork but got pissed bc people kept crashing into me. So I gave up and said to Chooch, “go get me a fork” so he walked over to the food pick up area while Henry and I went out to the car.

“I guarantee he doesn’t get me a fork,” I said as we got into the car.

Just now I turned around because I was ready to eat my watermelon snack. I made “fork” motions to chooch who got real annoyed and yelled “I don’t know what that means.” I kept trying to say fork but I was laughing because of how mad he was so that was making him even more mad until he finally understood me and said, “why would I have a fork??”

“Because I told you to get me a fork!”

“NO, you did NOT!” he yelled haughtily. “You told me to go get my food!”

“I said to get me a fork!!!!” I cried.

“Why wouldn’t you just get your own fork?? You were halfway there!” he yelled.

“Because people kept crashing into me!!” I screamed, feeling my eyes bulging at this juncture of the argument. The crux, if you will. The climax.

Henry was doing a silent laugh through this whole exchange, practically crying over it, while I’m yelling, “HOW WILL I EAT MY WATERMELON???”

“Use the stupid reusable straw!!” Chooch yelled and we all lost it at that point.

I’ll miss our car fights :(

2:57pm: at IKEA somewhere because chooch needs cups?? Henry called the two of us a “little bitch clique” bc we were whispering about him decomposing in a trunk. You had to be there.

1. Now that I have been to the bathroom in the Pgh IKEA and whatever IKEA this is, and the one in Denmark, I can safely say that the US IKEA bathrooms are far inferior.

2. HOWEVER!! The plant ball meal here was way better than the strange concoction they served up in the Danish IKEA 100%. I actually hated that meal so much but this one was nice.

I also split a rainbow cake with Henry but there’s no picture because he carved into it immediately and had it all in his beard ugh.

4:03pm: hello back in the car and I’m seriously about to puke my stomach hurts so bad from eating at IKEA ugh. Anyway we’re 40 minutes outside of Philly. I’m so sad even though Chooch has been mean to me all day. (Nothing unusual!)

4:43pm: we just pulled up and asked the move-in crew if this was where he needed to be for his apartment move in and she looked back and forth between me and Chooch and asked if he was the student, DID SHE THINK IT COULD HAVE BEEN ME LOL.

6:02pm: wow what an actual cluster moving him in but here is his view from the 20th floor:

Oh and excuse me look at what he tried to take????

I made him pose here and he did it haha. Also we had to walk up 20 flights up steps with his computer monitors and TV because we didn’t wait for the elevator again since the line is out the door with move-in activity. I’m cooked.

6:58pm: I feel sad. :( We will see him again next weekend to bring the rest of his stuff but still. This is a part of parenting that I was not prepared for.

7:37pm: ugh why is every experience at Wawa so mid. I got a gross fajita veggie bowl and the avocado I paid extra for was the tiniest squirt of guac. So underwhelming. Meanwhile Henry bought a pretzel and realized in the car that it was opened with a piece taken out of it and he was sure it wasn’t like that when he scanned it at the self-checkout but refuses to eat it now because he can’t remember opening it. I have no idea what’s going on but I’m pissed bc while I was hate-eating my bowl the only consolation I had was that I was going to eat some of Henry’s pretzel like the pigeon I am. Ugh.

8:40pm: here we are an hour later at a rest stop and Henry is still pondering the pretzel puzzle:

“It’s not hard though, you’d think it was opened before I bought it, it would be hard….”

9:39pm: did I mention that Henry rented a GMC SUV? He thinks it’s a Terrain? Never heard of it. It feels like something MAGA would drive and I actually hate it so much. Every 5 minutes I’m finding new things about it to hate but mostly it’s that I can picture these on Texan highways with LET’S GO BRANDON stickers on the back window. I always forget that GMC exists and prefer to keep it that way, which is particularly difficult when I’m sitting in one.

10:03pm: we saw the prettiest stray (?) cat at the last rest stop but Henry wouldn’t let me take her :( When we were leaving, there were workers from the rest stop food places outside feeding her so Henry thinks she’s a regular and “will be fine.” Well, he can sleep outside tonight too. I’m sure he will also be fine.

When we were walking back to the car, I was complaining about my distended stomach and said that I actually look pregnant so I started rubbing my belly while saying, “it’s ok baby, we’re almost back to the car.”

“Wow! I’m telling Chooch. You never talked to HIM like that,” Henry said in mock offense. I mean, kind of true. I never called him “baby.” Lol.

Ok I’m posting this now. I miss Chooch. Bye.

10:53pm: I lied. I’m back. We just stopped at this rest stop that has something called TRAILHEAD and Henry said it has something to do with the bike trail that goes to DC or whatever. I needed to get the rest of my steps for the day so we walked over to look at the pavilion that was built and apparently just opened today???-

I guess this is supposed to have a 3D effect but ok.

Oh! When I was in the bathroom, one of the girls working at Baskin was at the sink with me and she said she liked my shoes (just Vans) so of course I had to run back to Henry and tell him because it’s always news worthy when I get a compliment since I am attention starved, always. He didn’t care.

Anyway, this whole time I have been crying over my stomach pains which I have had ever since eating at fucking IKEA. My stomach is so bloated and distended that I could pass for a pregnant lady.

Henry was annoyed that he had to accompany me on my rest stop walk but I was like I DONT WANT SOME TRUCKER TO BE LIKE OOH LOOK AT THIS LATE-IN-LIFE PREGNANT BROAD WHILE LICKING HIS LIPS.

Henry thought this was hilarious and I was like THERE ARE MEN OUT THERE THAT I WOULD APPEAL TO YOU WILL BE SORRY WHEN I GET TAKEN.

Then I started spiraling out. “What if when they check CCTV to get the last known footage of me being seen alive they see me walking through that last rest stop parking lot when I was caressing my fake pregnant stomach and then the APB really does say I’m a late in life pregnant lady???” Henry was like, “omg plz stop.” But then he said that’s probably why the Baskin girl said she liked my shoes, she felt sorry for me being “old and pregnant” and I snapped, “I never said OLD I said LATE IN LIFE but thanks for speaking your truth.”

Then we argued over Trailhead some more because THE HEAD OF THE TRAIL CANNOT EVEN BE ACCESSED AT THIS REST STOP?! Henry said it’s like a mile and a half away. I am so irritated by this.

LOLOLOL.

On Saturday, I made Chooch join us for some Pink Box buns and a stroll through our fave cem. It was, after all, our last full weekend with him but really just Saturday because his Sunday was filled with going to the Steelers game (DON’T WORRY, he likes the team they were playing – Seahawks – not the gross Steelers) with his friends, Chipotle with his friends, PICKLEBALL with his friends (gross!!!) and then a haunted house with his friends. It’s OK. I just stayed home and cried. (He did let two of the friends come in the house with him & awkwardly interact with me in between Steelers game and Chipotle so that was something.)

I really don’t want to take him back to Philly this weekend. :(

This is what he did when I asked him to stand with me for a picture :( He is my biggest troll.

I wanted Henry to take a picture of me in my BIGBANG shirt that Veronica sent me years and years ago! Speaking of, they will be at Coachella next year and you know I am super ugh about Coachella when not even BIGBANG can get me to go again. I’m sorry but can my first time seeing BIGBANG *not* be at Coachella with a bunch of drunk influencers??

(Although it would be worth it to see Jake and Johnnie and the Alexanders, lol. A sentence that Chooch would be very disappointed to read.)

WHAT WAS I POINTING AT. This was only three days and already I’ve forgotten.

Then I asked Chooch to take a picture of Henry and me and the following is what I received:

???? I’m going to frame this one for his apartment.

Plus a selection of random close-ups of Henry. My camera roll always needs to be cleaned up after Chooch has my phone.

And then he finally took OK ones.

Afterward, we came home and didn’t see him again until around 8PM when he decided to go to Walmart and buy a blue shirt and fabric paint so that he could make his own DIY Seahawks t-shirt since it was going to be too hot to wear his Seahawks hoodie to the game on Sunday. I had a lot of fun making fun of him for this while Mr. He’s Crafty was salivating on the sidelines, waiting to be tagged in.

Basically, nothing major happened on Saturday yet I remember laughing a lot. I feel like when we’re all together we’re always laughing a lot (mostly at Henry’s expense). I’m going to miss this. :(

Last fall was so tough and I really hope this time the separation anxiety isn’t as bad. I just REALLY loved having him home, even when he was mostly in his lair or running past us to grab the car keys while calling out over his shoulder where he was going. My workdays are going to be so depressing again.

I’M WRITING THIS ON CHOOCH’S 19TH BIRTHDAY, BTW!!! It feels so strange not getting to celebrate with him in person, and knowing him, none of his Drexel friends even know it’s his birthday. My work group chat wants to pool monies and hire a skywriter to fly over Drexel, lol. “HBD CHOOCH A/K/A RILEY, MOMMY LOVES YOU.”

I did buy him tickets to the Men I Trust concert this September, which as you know, I will always associate with the maybe-dead-body we saw upon leaving the Mattress Factory. :/

Anyway, in lieu of having real time birthday stuff to share on here, here’s some pictures from the second half our day in Philly last Saturday.

I have wanted to check out Laurel Hill Cemetery since years before Chooch started going to college in Philly and it finally happened last weekend! Lucky for Chooch, HENRY left the DSLR at home so the Easter photoshoot I had in my hopes and dreams was dashed – however, Chooch was also sick with a cold so I likely would have let him off the hook anyway. Instead, we just took some casual photos which was still annoying to Chooch.

But come on, dude. Moms need pics of their kids, no matter the age!

I loved this classic hearse! I had to send pictures to my dad who has always been a classic car aficionado. He responded right away with his guess of year – “Neat – looks about a 1948” he replied.

Dude, this donut bag pops up in every picture, I swear. It was even sitting on a wall later on when Chooch was taking pictures of me and Henry “running,” and I had to crop it out. (THAT WAS YESTERDAY’S POST IN CASE YOU MISSED IT.)

If this was Korea, we would have had to wait in line to get these pictures. Trees are famous in Korea! And the ones here in Laurel Hill were poppin’ off this spring. The juxtaposition of decrepit tombstones and bright florals was so my vibe.

FYI – Chooch got that shirt last fall when he won dodgeball or something.

Honestly, I didn’t even know he was sick until halfway during our cemetery walk when was like, “Leave me alone, I’m sick” and I was like, “Wait, you are?” and he was like, “Hello, have you not seen me coughing this entire time??”

All the moms are momming.

Then there’s me.

Me taking dumb selfies and apparently ignoring the symphony of sickn emanating from my child.

Mwah. Chef’s kiss. This place probably looks impeccably macabre on a rainy day, too.

Maybe this is where we’ll take Chooch’s college graduation portraits?!

I love a cem with layers.

Like a cake.

But old and rotted.

I am really so deep in my feelings over this birthday. 19!! This whole past year has made me question life and time every single time. Who am I? What is my purpose now? Just lots of panic and sadness. And confusion.

You can take tours here but we didn’t have enough time. I do know that the Rittenhouse guy is buried here (there is a Rittenhouse building thing in Philly so that’s my only knowledge of him) and the broad who petitioned the government to recognize Thanksgiving as a federal holiday.

I learned this by watching “Philly cemetery” vids on YouTube, which is also how I found a news clip of a recent incident at a local Philly cem where the pallbearers FELL INTO THE BURIAL HOLE and there was a video of it happening which, OK THIS IS NOT TRULY FUNNY, but that sick and dark part of me started cracking up and I sent it to Corey and said, “I AM PICTURING JANNA FALLING INTO AN OPEN GRAVE NOW AND US MAKING HER DO IT OVER SO WE CAN RECORD IT” and he was like, “OMG YES!”

Quick, someone ask Janna to be a pallbearer!!

Chooch in the middle of criticizing / judging / mocking me. Normalcy!

And me in the process of making sure he’s being in an active participant in our MOMMY / SON photo sesh.

Donut bags.

None of us have seen this movie, but maybe you have so this could be interesting to you.

(Who are you?)

This is in the “Millionaires” section.

I Wiki’d this guy for you:

An English American industrialist who founded the Keystone Saw Works in 1840 and developed the surrounding Tacony neighborhood of Philadelphia to build housing for his workers. His company became the Disston Saw Works and was the top manufacturer of hand saws in the United States during the late 19th-century and early 20th century.

Boring.

SERIOUSLY, GO OFF QUEEN!!!

I feel bad that these are in the worst part, butted up against a chainlink fence along a busy road, but here’s some Rocky stuff for you. Chooch mumbled, “I guess I’ll take a picture too, ugh.” LOL.

After this, Chooch got to drive for the first time in Philly. He asked “an undisclosed friend” for some cafe recs and we ended up at Greek from Greece around the corner from his dorm. I got a butterfly pea latte and it was very refreshing! If we hadn’t had donuts, I’d have definitely gotten something from the dessert display there. They had orange pie! Next time. Next time.

I didn’t think so, but thank you, Mirror.

And that concludes another visit with Chooch!

WHO BTW JUST SENT ME THESE PICTURES AFTER I BEGGED HIM TO MAKE PICTURES OF JANNA FALLING INTO A GRAVE!!!!!

She looks so happy! “Wheeee!” Also, the way her torso and legs are facing opposite directions is sending me!

Philly is not exactly considered a “day trip” for most Pittsburghers, as it takes a good 4.5 – 5 hours by car. Yet somehow, we have done this approx. 5 times in the last 6 months. It is effing exhausting but worth it to get a few hours of quality time with Chooch. (If you ask him, he will likely drop the ‘quality’ and just call it ‘time’ haha, annoying parents.) Ideally, we would have liked to have spent the whole weekend there, but we are going away to Detroit this weekend and:

• $$$
• hate leaving Penelope overnight for two weekends in a row

So, a quick Saturday trip it was! The drive there was relatively uneventful. Sheetz stop for breakfast where I flipped out and cried, “EVERY TIME I TURN AROUND THERE ARE MEN IN MY WAY! MEN ARE EVERYWHERE I NEED TO BE!” and Henry was about to say “calm down,” I could tell. But he thought better of it and instead said, “What do you need, I’ll get it for you” – NICE TRY! This just made me even more angry and I shouted, “I CAN DO IT MYSELF!”

In case you were wondering, I needed coffee in a bigly way but there were MEN at the coffee area, stinking it up with waves of toxic masculinity, and then every time I turned a corner – MORE FUCKING MEN.

I really wanted to rip my skin off. Or theirs.

OK, theirs. LOL.

Then Waze was like, “Hi, here is a new way for you to try, apropos of nothing” and it ended up taking us through some park with lots of lollygagging drivers, but we finally arrived at Chooch’s dorm around 1:00!

I was so excited because ever since the first time we went to Drexel for a visit last April, I have been obsessed with this cute breakfast/lunch spot called SABRINA’S. I guess there are numerous locations around town but the one on Drexel’s campus is by far the most aesthetic because of the sweet ass Victorian house in which the millennial brunch classics are whipped up.

We had about a 20 minute wait so Chooch took us around the corner to some campus market thing that he goes to a lot, just a convenience store thing where he can use his Dragon dollars (OMG this just gave me a flashback to when I went to Pitt as a non-trad student and begged my mom to add cash to my Panther card so I could use it in the vending machines and she was like, “ha ha” but I was serious). Anyway, the older woman cashier was all, “HEY BABY!” to Chooch and then she chuckled and said, “I KNOW I’LL SEE YOU LATER” because he evidently is a REGULAR there and also, I am aware that the way I wrote this makes it sound like she is predatory but she was sincerely just a very jovial woman.

I loved how everywhere we went around campus, people knew Chooch. He’s branching out, you guys. I love that for him!

Then we were sitting outside of Sabrina’s waiting for our table and a group of old ladies walked past, but one stopped dead in her tracks and exclaimed, “OH I LOVE YOUR SHOES!” but it was DIRECTED AT CHOOCH, NOT ME. Chooch gets all the attention in Philly!!! I am just the shadow in the background there. It’s fine, I’m OK with that.

(Am I though? Currently plotting my outfit/accessories for our next visit. Must upstage him.)

THAT LOOK OF DISDAIN, DO YOU THINK HE MISSED ME?

I loved everything about Sabrina’s. It’s small and our table right in the flight path of the servers, but it still somehow felt cozy and delightful. Every staff member we interacted with was beyond friendly. And the menu is so veg/vegan friendly! I had the hardest time choosing what I wanted. I thought for sure it was going to be the banh mi because I had studied the menu online prior to our visit and even sent Chooch a screenshot of it.

“That looks good,” he replied, and I was shocked because it was one of those rare moments where he was acting like an adult and not a kid who is perpetually annoyed and embarrassed of his parent.

But then we got there and the actual menu seemed larger than the one online, so my options began to expand until I finally settled on the OG Vegan bowl with tofu, boy-o.

Henry got the Korean bowl (it came with chicken and didn’t have sub options like some of the other menu items so I didn’t want to be difficult by asking) and POLENTA FRIES, and Chooch got some kind of omelet. We were all content.

After lunch, we drove to Dottie’s Donuts – we went to a different location YEARS ago and I’m happy that they’re still around. I know none of us our vegan but when the options are there, I will take it so I always like to look for vegan spots when we’re on road trips. While we were at lunch, Dottie’s most recent post came up in my IG feed and it was a table-thumping moment for me.

“The special donut this weekend at Dottie’s is BAKLAVA.”

“I guess we’re going to Dottie’s,” Henry sighed as though he wasn’t secretly getting hot for donuts.

Dude, this fucker was bussin’. I was sad that once again I made poor choices and said I would share this with Henry. What an unbelievable life fail. We took our bounty to the Laurel Hill Cemetery (separate post to come!) and Henry is so lucky that I was feeling a modicum of love for him at the time because he immediately walked over to the office to use the bathroom, leaving me alone with this bad boy which I could have easily inhaled in three bites, but I somehow managed to stop myself at the halfway mark.

(This is also mostly because I have been feeling super down on myself re: old lady weight gain this past year, and actually much less to do with any spousal love haha.)

Anyway, we also got a Thai tea donut to share, and Chooch got two of his own – also a Thai tea and a vanilla frosted I think. Excellent, chewy donuts in a beautiful setting in perfect spring weather with my favorite people back together again.  I couldn’t have been happier.

l

Corey and I were stressing over finding a good place to eat post-Mattress Factory when we first made plans but then Chooch came home from college and was like, “I want to go to Cafe Moulin. One of my friends recommended it.”

Turns out the FRIEND is Sophia, who probably is legit just a friend but I had to be a total mom about it and start grilling him for info. She’s part of his friend group in Drexel (HER ROOMMATE IS FROM ROMANIA!) and is from Grand Rapids but her dad went to CMU so I guess they were visiting Pittsburgh at some point because of that, but I thought it was kind of funny that we were going somewhere based on a quasi-tourist’s suggestion.

Especially since it wasn’t really anywhere near the Mattress Factory and Chooch said he didn’t necessarily mean that he wanted to go there THAT DAY but once it was mentioned, Corey and I both had CREPES ON THE BRAIN.

Speaking of brain, we spent the whole drive to Shadyside rehashing the body outside of the Mattress Factory. We were all determined to continue having a good day but now there was this macabre fog hunkering down on us, you know? Add to that the fact that Corey had recently hit a deer with his car and when we got out of it in the parking garage, he pointed out some DEER FUR that was still stuck to it?!!? I wailed, “WHY WOULD YOU SHOW ME THAT??”

He re-emphasized the fact that the deer was actually fine BUT STILL?! Jesus!

Anyway, Cafe Moulin was packed but luckily we were able to get a table within about 10 minutes. It took us forever to order because Corey couldn’t decide between sweet and savory so finally Chooch had enough and tossed a coffee creamer onto the menu. It landed on the Dubai chocolate crepe so Chooch was like, “Congratulations, now let’s move on with our lives.”

I’m telling you, Chooch is the adult amongst us.

FALALALALALA-FUCK these crepes were things of beauty! Corey let us try his and I had ordering remorse BUT my crepe was also delicious and so was Chooch’s (Chooch and I split ours with each other because we couldn’t choose – we made the right decision).

Chooch had to cut mine for me LOLOLOL.

His was the spanakopita and mine was….I forget but it was basically a caprese and oh, did it sweetly butter my muffin.

(Tivoli! Mine was called the Tivoli!)

Other things to note from Cafe Moulin:

• Corey and I go to the same therapy place so we talked extensively about our mutual family issues which inspired me to ask Chooch if he was happy, was his childhood ok, does he think he will need therapy someday?? He said yes, yes, and no!
• There was a young single diner sitting at a table for two, reading TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE while slowly peckig away at a crepe and sipping coffee. No shade on her at all, in fact, I was admiring her because I’m not the type of person who is OK with solo dining, but it did make me chuckle because the book choice kind of sent it over the top for me and I started wondering if she has one of the decks of cards that give you a solo adventure to go on and the one she pulled that morning was “eat crepes alone in a Parisian cafe while reading a famous memoir.”
• Chooch super dramatically spilled his glass of water. Like, he spilled it and then somehow spilled it again when he tried to set the glass upright and water was everywhere, but mostly pooled in the crotch of his pants. Luckily, he was wearing black track pants that day, but it was still enough of a spill that one of the servers had to come over to assist with a thick boi stack of napkins.

Overall, solid 10/10. I don’t have crepes very often but these really seemed like god tier crepes, at least for Pgh anyway.

After this, we went  to Kawaii Gifts and I bought the BSS album!! Corey and Chooch were like, “Mmm. That’s cool.” Things have really changed because when I used to go here, they never had anything kpop-related! And now they have a fairly decent collection, I must say.

Then we went to Amazing Books and as soon as we walked in, Chooch stopped in his tracks.

“Is this….oh wow, it is!” he said, in a “HARK!” stance and looking up at the ceiling. Turns out they were playing the new MEN I TRUST. What the actual fuck, you guys. I will always relate this band to THE MAYBE-DEAD BODY.

Chooch said this was the song that was on in Corey’s car when we were waiting to pull out of the Mattress Factory parking lot and then…well, you know the rest. UNLESS YOU DON’T READ EVERY BLOG POST I WRITE AND IN THAT CASE…well, I probably wouldn’t either I were you.

Chooch went over to the counter and had a lengthy conversation with the two guys working there about the new album while I was pretending to peruse books and not constantly thinking of the lady and the blood and the way her body was slumped over the curb of a random street in the Northside, and Corey was looking at a rack of greeting cards made by local artists which, btw, is also what he was looking at in the Mattress Factory’s gift shop, SHOULD I SEND HIM THE LINK TO MY ETSY CARD SHOP AND REMIND HIM THAT I TOO MAKE GREETING CARDS.

One last stop before we left was the little independent toy store and the lady working there reminded us of Janna’s mom a little so then Corey and I started up again with our favorite memory of Janna being beaten by her mom behind a curtained window and that was fun but also my stomach was starting to hurt from the crepes and the general excitement of the day so now I will associate that toy store with pain. Chooch meanwhile touched every single item in that place and then ended up not wanting anything, not even the dumb things that Janna’s mom was demo’ing for him (“THIS BALL CAN BOUNCE UPWARD OF 10 STORIES!”) which is CRAZY because I was offering to buy him pretty much everything since I was so happy to have him home.

And then we came home, where I would go on to spend the next two weeks hyper-obsessing over THE LADY and driving Henry and Chooch crazy over it.

(The next day when we were at lunch, I asked Chooch if he told any of his friends and he said, “No, because maybe did it occur to you that I’m traumatized and don’t want to talk about it?” he said drily.

“OMG REALLY??” I cried, ready to consult my mental Mothering manual.

“No!” he said, going back to looking at his phone while eating his omelet. Wow.)

8:09am: we just left to drive Chooch back to Philly :( Running behind schedule because

1. He wasn’t fully packed
2. He “lost” his wallet (it was on his bed but he didn’t realize he didn’t have it until we were getting in the car

Anyway, I didn’t plan this but my nail polish perfectly matches my windbreaker so then I had to swap out my shoes and purse to complete the coordination. Not seen – pendant that also got the memo.

8:40am: Sheetz update! Henry is bitching because we spent over $40 like we just went to a restaurant for breakfast. Then Henry thought he was a hero because he held the door open for a man exiting with a case of Mountain Dew but I ALSO HELD A DOOR OPEN FOR HIM?! Then right as Henry was getting ready to start the car, the Mountain Dew guy pulled up alongside of us in his white stallion truck to signal that Henry’s DRINK WAS ON THE ROOF OF THE CAR. It was a real wholesome moment like a scene out of Donna Reed or some shit. Henry did the “another mans is talkin’ to me” hyuk hyuk, his standard response.

9:52am: CHOOCH IS/WAS READING A BOOK. Apparently I disrupted him by telling Henry I need to pee so that drew attention to him at which point I started bombarding him with questions and then Henry was like HE IS READING A BOOK! and I almost broke neck trying to turn around to see. It’s a Brandon Sanderson book and I said “I want to read his books but they’re like 800 pages.”

“I know,” Chooch grunted.

“That doesn’t look like it’s 800 pages,” Henry said.

“That’s because it broke and the other part is in my dorm,” Chooch said. Sounds about right. It’s also not his book but his friend Ben’s in case anyone needs to note that in the log.

10:13am: First rest stop of the drive in Bedford and Chooch realized that he forgot something.

“My Rubik’s Cube!” he cried. Oh to the well.

Then it took him forever to decide what snack he wanted from 7-seven and Henry was so annoyed and ughhhh I’m going to miss this. :(

12:57pm: In traffic outside of Philly. Chooch and I slept most of the ride haha. But now he and Henry are arguing because chooch put the window down. “THE AC IS ON!” Henry bellowed. And chooch mouthed off back and then Henry angrily twisted the AC knob to OFF and is pouting now. Welcome us, Philly! We’re here!

Also this was happening during the Jennie / Dua Lipa “Handlebars” song and I yelled at them for ruining it for me.

“I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS IS!” chooch yelled. Wowowowow.

I can’t remember if it was our flight to Korea but on some recent long-haul flight I listened to a Dua Lipa playlist on the inflight entertainment thing for nearly the whole flight while playing some number game and Chooch was disgusted.

1:27pm:

1:51pm: We’re here! First Henry to go back to get his phone in the garage because he’s an idiot so Chooch and I ditched him because we had to pee.

In that building back there! There are also bunnies roaming the grounds everywhere over there which is cute but weird.

College bathroom selfie!

Now we’re waiting for gross SEPTA to take us downtown.

2:25pm: well no one was paying attention and we passed the stop (to be fair no one told me where we were going) so we ended up having to walk a bit which was a big Lost in Korea mood with Henry and Chooch bickering. It warmed my heart.

But anyway we had to put our name in at Bae Bombon so we came next door to Black Turtle Coffee where the most agitated girl waited on us but whatever. We have iced drinks and are sitting peacefully in wait.

5:56pm: Henry and I are on our way home now. :( Another lackluster goodbye from our son lol.

We did finally eating at Bar Bombon and it was good but S H E E S H getting a table was an ordeal and I said no less than 17 times that I wanted to just go elsewhere. We did attempt to go to a place across the street called The Love or something but they had just closed for the between brunch / dinner time.

I got really mad because it appeared that the hostess gave our table to some old bitches who came straight from yoga, rolled mats and all, but Henry the White Knight of Hostesses because it reminds him of the packaged baked goods mmm Ho Hos, insisted that they were ahead of us on Open Table. Ok Henry. You know everything.

Then they tried to give us the lone table in the front right smack in the busy sidewalk after saying that they would seat us inside and I was like NO THANK YOU.

They promised Henry if we could wait a few more minutes they’d have a table for us inside. Overall our 30 minute wait in the beginning turned into over an hour and I was very displeased about that because it was after 3pm and none of us had eaten since around 9 and I especially was getting hangry. Ok I had bypassed hangry and was firmly planted in much mad starving zone.

Henry was all THANK YOU THANK YOU when the hostess finally summoned us and it was so annoying.

But we had the best seat in the place at all – corner table just the way I like it.

I will say this: ambiance was great. Our server was wonderful. The hearts of palm “fish” tacos I ordered were incredible.

However! We also ordered two starters but our tacos came first (and actually surprisingly fast) and we were told like 3x that our starters would be out soon, then our server was like “let me go check on those starters.” Approx 15 minutes after we finished our tacos, the starters came and Henry joked that they were finishers now but Chooch and I didn’t laugh because that was dumb so you better not have laughed either.

We got some kind of yuca sticks on a pool of nacho (?) sauce which was really good but now what I was expecting. I thought the yuca would be like fries and crispy but they were soft.

And a plate of sweet plantains. I love plantains so much.

Overall it ended up being a good meal but kind of not worth the wait and probably won’t be going back.

We opted to walk back to Drexel after that because I always like to walk after eating a big (to me) meal. MAYBE THAT IS JUST ME. And it’s a really nice walk too. Flat, scenic, and only about 20 minutes.

7:01pm: Checking in to say I’m on my biannual Danity Kane nostalgia tour. This time it’s because Henry said that one of Jennie’s new songs reminds him of a Danity Kane song and I said WILD BC JISOO’S EARTHQUAKE REMINDS ME OF DANITY KANE. (Jennie and Jisoo are both from Blackpink for any anti-kpop person who might themselves reading this).

So now we’re listening to Danity Kane. Fuck you, Diddy. Truly.

Anyway back to Philly – here are some pics from the walk:

I sent this to Corey and he asked me if I wrote that? I mean I’m a Stay but I don’t like them THAT much lol.

The sidewalk was closed at one point and Henry and Chooch were arguing about this. I thought I heard Henry say something about having to go underground so I screamed “we get to go understand?”

Chooch said to him, “Great, now you have her saying that.”

LOL wow.

But seriously I kept asking “when are we going underground though?” And they’d yell in tandem, “We’re not!!”

Then we split up so Henry could go back to the garage to get the car while Chooch and I continued on to his dorm. We were sitting outside when he causally said that I might be able to meet his ROMANIAN friend Bianca!!! She had just made it back to Philly. “Actually there she is right there” and then I fucking spazzed out. “WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO HER??!”

“Oh my god please don’t make this weird. I shouldn’t have said anything,” he groaned as she was quickly approaching.

Turns out it didn’t matter because she came over and they briefly chatted about who else was back and then she went inside.

“Wow she didn’t even look at you,” Chooch laughed.

“Yeah thanks for introducing me!” I cried.

“Maybe she thought you were just another student,” he shrugged.

“OMG REALLY!” I squealed, mood instantly brightened. I mean, we really weren’t sitting that close and I was swinging my legs like a kid on a playground with my telephone purse on my lap. Just ignore my gray hairs and crows feet lol.

Then Henry came back and we had to take Chooch’s shit up to his room and he yelled at Henry repeatedly for stepping on his purple shag carpet which is remarkably clean I must say.

Before we left, I wanted to see the place he’ll be living next year. We couldn’t do much other than go on in the lobby but it’s this tall bitchin’ building behind him:

the final stop was the 7-Eleven near his dorm because he spent all week talking about how they have the best croissants – this location specifically. I mean I’m sure the entire country of France would like to weigh in on that but OK. I wanted to try for myself.

I mean, it was better than the one I had that morning but that was from Sheetz, so. For $1-ish (and for a convenience store) it was decent?

Anyway, it is. Ow 9:46pm and we have another hour left in this drive. Ugh. Signing off.

Skipping Saturday’s action for now and going right to Sunday because there’s less to say and I am lazy. (A lot happened on Saturday!)

I really wanted to have a NICE FAMILY AFTERNOON. Chooch got really into collecting records several years ago so I thought it would be best to offset the misery of “hanging with the parents” by including the incentive of record shopping. He seemed to perk up at that.

I found this random Turkish cafe in Harmar which was on the way to the record shop we were going to in New Kensington. It was called Gino’s Petit something so super confusing because it sounded both Italian and French but then…Turkish. I loved the vibes of the place! It seemed to maybe be a family affair? There was some yelling going on in the kitchen. Our server was wearing a bright orange crop top and leather shorts. I don’t know that this has much to do with anything, but I wanted to remember that lol.

To start, I got Turkish coffee and it was d-i-v-i-n-e.

Crepes seemed to be the main draw there but Chooch and I had just had some of the best crepes in town the day before with Corey, so we both went for something different. Henry and Chooch both got omelettes and I got the TURKISH PLATTER which was like a fancy Lunchables that someone plated for me. The scrambled eggs were mid but I really enjoyed making one-bites out of the tomatoes, cucumbers, feta and mozzarella. And you know I love some olives, boy. They gave me more than what was advertised lol.

Plus, the inexplicable inclusion of french fries – this wasn’t featured in the description so I feel like they were an after thought, maybe some stragglers left in the fry basket or something.

But yo, listen. The best part, and I am closing my eyes in remembrance of the ecstasy my mouth experienced yesterday, was the SUBSTANTIAL SLICES OF MARBLED RYE TOAST which I straight up SOAKED in the provided honey and Turkish jam (it was pureed strawberries in a fruit syrup and I was ready to drink that shit, it was INTOXICATING). Henry and Chooch had to sit there for a full 10 minutes after finishing their meals while I ate each part of my plate. They were so annoyed at my exaggerated savoring of each component, haha.

I would like to go back sometime to try one of the sweet breakfast offerings after seeing plate after plate being shuttled past us to other tables.

Then we went to Preserving Vinyl in New Ken, where I was disgusted at how many Taylor Swift records there were, and the fact that there is vinyl pressed for Halsey of all the crap singers out there, what a waste of resources, if you ask me.

Anyway, I have been out of the record collecting loop for a big and was surprised to see so much Top 40 vinyl.

Then I just felt nostalgic when I saw all of the Joyce Manor, Citizen, etc AND THEN PVRIS STARTED PLAYING and Warped Tour Erin was like, “Knock knock, I’m still in here, you know.”

Chooch got a Daft Punk record (did not know he liked Daft Punk) and an Otis Redding collection.

Then we walked to the other location that’s in an old church which is also a music venue where Armor for Sleep was just playing and I wanted to go but it was the night after we came home from Chicago and Henry was being an Old. And I only know two other people who like(d) Armor For Sleep but:

1. Both live 4+ hours from me in each direction
2. I don’t talk to either of them anymore
3. lol

Anyway, at this place, Chooch got a super old Peter & the Wolf record which was cool just for the cover alone, and an Emerson Lake and Palmer record just because he liked the cover which was also coincidentally wolf-themed and I screamed, “I USED TO LOVE ELP YOU WILL PROBABLY LIKE THIS” and that was probably a mistake, I just swayed him in the opposite direction and am not preparing for him to be like, “So, I listened to that Emerson whatever record and actually it’s garbage.”

I really should have fucking bought this. I reference this movie once every two or three years and no one ever knows.

Then we left and I put on PVRIS for the drive home. What a wholesome afternoon with Chooch, Home from College.

You guys! Chooch came home Thursday night and all feels right in the world (ok I’m gonna walk back on that one and just go with “in our house”).

First! During my lunch break on Friday, we walked to 802 Coffee where I, as per uje, ordered poorly and hated my latte but chooch’s was delightful (it was their dumb March leprechaun menu).

Then we stopped at the library specifically so he could say hi to Robert the Security Guard who always asks me how he is doing and just told me the other day that he keeps him I. His prayers. Get you a library security guard friend, you guys. Robert is such a gem and one of the few good things that came out of the pandemic because I only started talking to him during the very strict book pickups during the early part of COVID.

After work, Janna & Kara came over for pizza and to pepper Chooch with questions about college. So far, the first thing he tells everyone, including Robert, is that he has been playing Spikeball. (Shout out to Corey who got him this for Xmas and Chooch has said repeatedly that it’s one of the best presents he has ever got ok wow, RIP the memory of me presenting him with Hamilton tickets the first time it came to Pgh.)

It was a really chill night and also I liked this beer a lot even though I poured it wrong apparently.

Oh btw when Chooch came home Thursday night, he opened the fridge and yelled in disgust, “There is only beer in here!!!”

TO BE FAIR – we still have a lot of beer left from Chingumas. I put a moratorium on the weekend Duffy’s runs for build-your-own six packs because I was afraid of becoming an alcoholic. Now I will only drink in social situations like before. You heard it here first.

Smirking because approx. three of us asked him who he was texting and if it was this girl that I have latched on to because he let her name slip several times. They’re going to see The Weeknd with two or three other ppl and she bought all the tickets so I had to Venmo her money for him because I’m Mommy Dearest and also because concerts is the one thing I will never deprive him of.

(well, food and love too I guess lol.)

Anyway, it was such a wholesome night of reminiscing about psychos I attracted during the LJ years, game nights of yesteryear, and when Chooch was a baby with a giant head. It was the perfect start to the weekend!

I got this text from Chooch the other day and it cracked me up so bad. His dining hall has an app I guess where everyone can request songs and then apparently you can thumbs up or thumbs down the requests (here you can see Chooch thumbs downed the Earth Wind & Fire song “because my friend requested it,” he said in his defense. Isn’t he so much like me??!! I would be Janna’s biggest thumbs downer if we were part of this dining hall experience).

Anyway, I was stoked to see the SVT song in question because that one IS SO GOOD. I kept sending him different performances of it and he refused to watch (not even the one from Glastonbury! Or maybe it was Lolla Berlin I can’t remember).

Then!! He texted me a picture of the laptop of the girl sitting next to him in one of his classes – she has not one but TWO pictures of T.O.P.’s Squid Game character Thanos and I was like TELL HER YOUR MOM LOVES BIGBANG.

“She doesn’t know who that is,” he said. “She only knows him from squid game” but then he said he didn’t even ask her so WHO KNOWS – this could have been my future kid-in-law but sure. Cool.

Other incidents I think I already logged here:

• Someone was writing STREAM SEVENTEEN LOVE FAME MONEY on white boards and he accused me of breaking into the dorm lol
• He had to critique someone’s essay in his English class and it was ABOUT THE GLOBALIZATION OF KPOP and he said his feedback was “you forgot to mention that bts only sings in English now” lol snap. Apparently it was moot though because she only had one source to cite and it turned out to be some high school kids paper so she had to pick a new topic.

Also speaking of “Thanos,” my old T.O.P. Valentine has been selling thanks to his renewed popularity!

That’s all for me, reporting from the tail end of the longest Monday ever.