l

Corey and I were stressing over finding a good place to eat post-Mattress Factory when we first made plans but then Chooch came home from college and was like, “I want to go to Cafe Moulin. One of my friends recommended it.”

Turns out the FRIEND is Sophia, who probably is legit just a friend but I had to be a total mom about it and start grilling him for info. She’s part of his friend group in Drexel (HER ROOMMATE IS FROM ROMANIA!) and is from Grand Rapids but her dad went to CMU so I guess they were visiting Pittsburgh at some point because of that, but I thought it was kind of funny that we were going somewhere based on a quasi-tourist’s suggestion.

Especially since it wasn’t really anywhere near the Mattress Factory and Chooch said he didn’t necessarily mean that he wanted to go there THAT DAY but once it was mentioned, Corey and I both had CREPES ON THE BRAIN.

Speaking of brain, we spent the whole drive to Shadyside rehashing the body outside of the Mattress Factory. We were all determined to continue having a good day but now there was this macabre fog hunkering down on us, you know? Add to that the fact that Corey had recently hit a deer with his car and when we got out of it in the parking garage, he pointed out some DEER FUR that was still stuck to it?!!? I wailed, “WHY WOULD YOU SHOW ME THAT??”

He re-emphasized the fact that the deer was actually fine BUT STILL?! Jesus!

Anyway, Cafe Moulin was packed but luckily we were able to get a table within about 10 minutes. It took us forever to order because Corey couldn’t decide between sweet and savory so finally Chooch had enough and tossed a coffee creamer onto the menu. It landed on the Dubai chocolate crepe so Chooch was like, “Congratulations, now let’s move on with our lives.”

I’m telling you, Chooch is the adult amongst us.

FALALALALALA-FUCK these crepes were things of beauty! Corey let us try his and I had ordering remorse BUT my crepe was also delicious and so was Chooch’s (Chooch and I split ours with each other because we couldn’t choose – we made the right decision).

Chooch had to cut mine for me LOLOLOL.

His was the spanakopita and mine was….I forget but it was basically a caprese and oh, did it sweetly butter my muffin.

(Tivoli! Mine was called the Tivoli!)

Other things to note from Cafe Moulin:

• Corey and I go to the same therapy place so we talked extensively about our mutual family issues which inspired me to ask Chooch if he was happy, was his childhood ok, does he think he will need therapy someday?? He said yes, yes, and no!
• There was a young single diner sitting at a table for two, reading TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE while slowly peckig away at a crepe and sipping coffee. No shade on her at all, in fact, I was admiring her because I’m not the type of person who is OK with solo dining, but it did make me chuckle because the book choice kind of sent it over the top for me and I started wondering if she has one of the decks of cards that give you a solo adventure to go on and the one she pulled that morning was “eat crepes alone in a Parisian cafe while reading a famous memoir.”
• Chooch super dramatically spilled his glass of water. Like, he spilled it and then somehow spilled it again when he tried to set the glass upright and water was everywhere, but mostly pooled in the crotch of his pants. Luckily, he was wearing black track pants that day, but it was still enough of a spill that one of the servers had to come over to assist with a thick boi stack of napkins.

Overall, solid 10/10. I don’t have crepes very often but these really seemed like god tier crepes, at least for Pgh anyway.

After this, we went  to Kawaii Gifts and I bought the BSS album!! Corey and Chooch were like, “Mmm. That’s cool.” Things have really changed because when I used to go here, they never had anything kpop-related! And now they have a fairly decent collection, I must say.

Then we went to Amazing Books and as soon as we walked in, Chooch stopped in his tracks.

“Is this….oh wow, it is!” he said, in a “HARK!” stance and looking up at the ceiling. Turns out they were playing the new MEN I TRUST. What the actual fuck, you guys. I will always relate this band to THE MAYBE-DEAD BODY.

Chooch said this was the song that was on in Corey’s car when we were waiting to pull out of the Mattress Factory parking lot and then…well, you know the rest. UNLESS YOU DON’T READ EVERY BLOG POST I WRITE AND IN THAT CASE…well, I probably wouldn’t either I were you.

Chooch went over to the counter and had a lengthy conversation with the two guys working there about the new album while I was pretending to peruse books and not constantly thinking of the lady and the blood and the way her body was slumped over the curb of a random street in the Northside, and Corey was looking at a rack of greeting cards made by local artists which, btw, is also what he was looking at in the Mattress Factory’s gift shop, SHOULD I SEND HIM THE LINK TO MY ETSY CARD SHOP AND REMIND HIM THAT I TOO MAKE GREETING CARDS.

One last stop before we left was the little independent toy store and the lady working there reminded us of Janna’s mom a little so then Corey and I started up again with our favorite memory of Janna being beaten by her mom behind a curtained window and that was fun but also my stomach was starting to hurt from the crepes and the general excitement of the day so now I will associate that toy store with pain. Chooch meanwhile touched every single item in that place and then ended up not wanting anything, not even the dumb things that Janna’s mom was demo’ing for him (“THIS BALL CAN BOUNCE UPWARD OF 10 STORIES!”) which is CRAZY because I was offering to buy him pretty much everything since I was so happy to have him home.

And then we came home, where I would go on to spend the next two weeks hyper-obsessing over THE LADY and driving Henry and Chooch crazy over it.

(The next day when we were at lunch, I asked Chooch if he told any of his friends and he said, “No, because maybe did it occur to you that I’m traumatized and don’t want to talk about it?” he said drily.

“OMG REALLY??” I cried, ready to consult my mental Mothering manual.

“No!” he said, going back to looking at his phone while eating his omelet. Wow.)

8:09am: we just left to drive Chooch back to Philly :( Running behind schedule because

1. He wasn’t fully packed
2. He “lost” his wallet (it was on his bed but he didn’t realize he didn’t have it until we were getting in the car

Anyway, I didn’t plan this but my nail polish perfectly matches my windbreaker so then I had to swap out my shoes and purse to complete the coordination. Not seen – pendant that also got the memo.

8:40am: Sheetz update! Henry is bitching because we spent over $40 like we just went to a restaurant for breakfast. Then Henry thought he was a hero because he held the door open for a man exiting with a case of Mountain Dew but I ALSO HELD A DOOR OPEN FOR HIM?! Then right as Henry was getting ready to start the car, the Mountain Dew guy pulled up alongside of us in his white stallion truck to signal that Henry’s DRINK WAS ON THE ROOF OF THE CAR. It was a real wholesome moment like a scene out of Donna Reed or some shit. Henry did the “another mans is talkin’ to me” hyuk hyuk, his standard response.

9:52am: CHOOCH IS/WAS READING A BOOK. Apparently I disrupted him by telling Henry I need to pee so that drew attention to him at which point I started bombarding him with questions and then Henry was like HE IS READING A BOOK! and I almost broke neck trying to turn around to see. It’s a Brandon Sanderson book and I said “I want to read his books but they’re like 800 pages.”

“I know,” Chooch grunted.

“That doesn’t look like it’s 800 pages,” Henry said.

“That’s because it broke and the other part is in my dorm,” Chooch said. Sounds about right. It’s also not his book but his friend Ben’s in case anyone needs to note that in the log.

10:13am: First rest stop of the drive in Bedford and Chooch realized that he forgot something.

“My Rubik’s Cube!” he cried. Oh to the well.

Then it took him forever to decide what snack he wanted from 7-seven and Henry was so annoyed and ughhhh I’m going to miss this. :(

12:57pm: In traffic outside of Philly. Chooch and I slept most of the ride haha. But now he and Henry are arguing because chooch put the window down. “THE AC IS ON!” Henry bellowed. And chooch mouthed off back and then Henry angrily twisted the AC knob to OFF and is pouting now. Welcome us, Philly! We’re here!

Also this was happening during the Jennie / Dua Lipa “Handlebars” song and I yelled at them for ruining it for me.

“I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS IS!” chooch yelled. Wowowowow.

I can’t remember if it was our flight to Korea but on some recent long-haul flight I listened to a Dua Lipa playlist on the inflight entertainment thing for nearly the whole flight while playing some number game and Chooch was disgusted.

1:27pm:

1:51pm: We’re here! First Henry to go back to get his phone in the garage because he’s an idiot so Chooch and I ditched him because we had to pee.

In that building back there! There are also bunnies roaming the grounds everywhere over there which is cute but weird.

College bathroom selfie!

Now we’re waiting for gross SEPTA to take us downtown.

2:25pm: well no one was paying attention and we passed the stop (to be fair no one told me where we were going) so we ended up having to walk a bit which was a big Lost in Korea mood with Henry and Chooch bickering. It warmed my heart.

But anyway we had to put our name in at Bae Bombon so we came next door to Black Turtle Coffee where the most agitated girl waited on us but whatever. We have iced drinks and are sitting peacefully in wait.

5:56pm: Henry and I are on our way home now. :( Another lackluster goodbye from our son lol.

We did finally eating at Bar Bombon and it was good but S H E E S H getting a table was an ordeal and I said no less than 17 times that I wanted to just go elsewhere. We did attempt to go to a place across the street called The Love or something but they had just closed for the between brunch / dinner time.

I got really mad because it appeared that the hostess gave our table to some old bitches who came straight from yoga, rolled mats and all, but Henry the White Knight of Hostesses because it reminds him of the packaged baked goods mmm Ho Hos, insisted that they were ahead of us on Open Table. Ok Henry. You know everything.

Then they tried to give us the lone table in the front right smack in the busy sidewalk after saying that they would seat us inside and I was like NO THANK YOU.

They promised Henry if we could wait a few more minutes they’d have a table for us inside. Overall our 30 minute wait in the beginning turned into over an hour and I was very displeased about that because it was after 3pm and none of us had eaten since around 9 and I especially was getting hangry. Ok I had bypassed hangry and was firmly planted in much mad starving zone.

Henry was all THANK YOU THANK YOU when the hostess finally summoned us and it was so annoying.

But we had the best seat in the place at all – corner table just the way I like it.

I will say this: ambiance was great. Our server was wonderful. The hearts of palm “fish” tacos I ordered were incredible.

However! We also ordered two starters but our tacos came first (and actually surprisingly fast) and we were told like 3x that our starters would be out soon, then our server was like “let me go check on those starters.” Approx 15 minutes after we finished our tacos, the starters came and Henry joked that they were finishers now but Chooch and I didn’t laugh because that was dumb so you better not have laughed either.

We got some kind of yuca sticks on a pool of nacho (?) sauce which was really good but now what I was expecting. I thought the yuca would be like fries and crispy but they were soft.

And a plate of sweet plantains. I love plantains so much.

Overall it ended up being a good meal but kind of not worth the wait and probably won’t be going back.

We opted to walk back to Drexel after that because I always like to walk after eating a big (to me) meal. MAYBE THAT IS JUST ME. And it’s a really nice walk too. Flat, scenic, and only about 20 minutes.

7:01pm: Checking in to say I’m on my biannual Danity Kane nostalgia tour. This time it’s because Henry said that one of Jennie’s new songs reminds him of a Danity Kane song and I said WILD BC JISOO’S EARTHQUAKE REMINDS ME OF DANITY KANE. (Jennie and Jisoo are both from Blackpink for any anti-kpop person who might themselves reading this).

So now we’re listening to Danity Kane. Fuck you, Diddy. Truly.

Anyway back to Philly – here are some pics from the walk:

I sent this to Corey and he asked me if I wrote that? I mean I’m a Stay but I don’t like them THAT much lol.

The sidewalk was closed at one point and Henry and Chooch were arguing about this. I thought I heard Henry say something about having to go underground so I screamed “we get to go understand?”

Chooch said to him, “Great, now you have her saying that.”

LOL wow.

But seriously I kept asking “when are we going underground though?” And they’d yell in tandem, “We’re not!!”

Then we split up so Henry could go back to the garage to get the car while Chooch and I continued on to his dorm. We were sitting outside when he causally said that I might be able to meet his ROMANIAN friend Bianca!!! She had just made it back to Philly. “Actually there she is right there” and then I fucking spazzed out. “WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO HER??!”

“Oh my god please don’t make this weird. I shouldn’t have said anything,” he groaned as she was quickly approaching.

Turns out it didn’t matter because she came over and they briefly chatted about who else was back and then she went inside.

“Wow she didn’t even look at you,” Chooch laughed.

“Yeah thanks for introducing me!” I cried.

“Maybe she thought you were just another student,” he shrugged.

“OMG REALLY!” I squealed, mood instantly brightened. I mean, we really weren’t sitting that close and I was swinging my legs like a kid on a playground with my telephone purse on my lap. Just ignore my gray hairs and crows feet lol.

Then Henry came back and we had to take Chooch’s shit up to his room and he yelled at Henry repeatedly for stepping on his purple shag carpet which is remarkably clean I must say.

Before we left, I wanted to see the place he’ll be living next year. We couldn’t do much other than go on in the lobby but it’s this tall bitchin’ building behind him:

the final stop was the 7-Eleven near his dorm because he spent all week talking about how they have the best croissants – this location specifically. I mean I’m sure the entire country of France would like to weigh in on that but OK. I wanted to try for myself.

I mean, it was better than the one I had that morning but that was from Sheetz, so. For $1-ish (and for a convenience store) it was decent?

Anyway, it is. Ow 9:46pm and we have another hour left in this drive. Ugh. Signing off.

Skipping Saturday’s action for now and going right to Sunday because there’s less to say and I am lazy. (A lot happened on Saturday!)

I really wanted to have a NICE FAMILY AFTERNOON. Chooch got really into collecting records several years ago so I thought it would be best to offset the misery of “hanging with the parents” by including the incentive of record shopping. He seemed to perk up at that.

I found this random Turkish cafe in Harmar which was on the way to the record shop we were going to in New Kensington. It was called Gino’s Petit something so super confusing because it sounded both Italian and French but then…Turkish. I loved the vibes of the place! It seemed to maybe be a family affair? There was some yelling going on in the kitchen. Our server was wearing a bright orange crop top and leather shorts. I don’t know that this has much to do with anything, but I wanted to remember that lol.

To start, I got Turkish coffee and it was d-i-v-i-n-e.

Crepes seemed to be the main draw there but Chooch and I had just had some of the best crepes in town the day before with Corey, so we both went for something different. Henry and Chooch both got omelettes and I got the TURKISH PLATTER which was like a fancy Lunchables that someone plated for me. The scrambled eggs were mid but I really enjoyed making one-bites out of the tomatoes, cucumbers, feta and mozzarella. And you know I love some olives, boy. They gave me more than what was advertised lol.

Plus, the inexplicable inclusion of french fries – this wasn’t featured in the description so I feel like they were an after thought, maybe some stragglers left in the fry basket or something.

But yo, listen. The best part, and I am closing my eyes in remembrance of the ecstasy my mouth experienced yesterday, was the SUBSTANTIAL SLICES OF MARBLED RYE TOAST which I straight up SOAKED in the provided honey and Turkish jam (it was pureed strawberries in a fruit syrup and I was ready to drink that shit, it was INTOXICATING). Henry and Chooch had to sit there for a full 10 minutes after finishing their meals while I ate each part of my plate. They were so annoyed at my exaggerated savoring of each component, haha.

I would like to go back sometime to try one of the sweet breakfast offerings after seeing plate after plate being shuttled past us to other tables.

Then we went to Preserving Vinyl in New Ken, where I was disgusted at how many Taylor Swift records there were, and the fact that there is vinyl pressed for Halsey of all the crap singers out there, what a waste of resources, if you ask me.

Anyway, I have been out of the record collecting loop for a big and was surprised to see so much Top 40 vinyl.

Then I just felt nostalgic when I saw all of the Joyce Manor, Citizen, etc AND THEN PVRIS STARTED PLAYING and Warped Tour Erin was like, “Knock knock, I’m still in here, you know.”

Chooch got a Daft Punk record (did not know he liked Daft Punk) and an Otis Redding collection.

Then we walked to the other location that’s in an old church which is also a music venue where Armor for Sleep was just playing and I wanted to go but it was the night after we came home from Chicago and Henry was being an Old. And I only know two other people who like(d) Armor For Sleep but:

1. Both live 4+ hours from me in each direction
2. I don’t talk to either of them anymore
3. lol

Anyway, at this place, Chooch got a super old Peter & the Wolf record which was cool just for the cover alone, and an Emerson Lake and Palmer record just because he liked the cover which was also coincidentally wolf-themed and I screamed, “I USED TO LOVE ELP YOU WILL PROBABLY LIKE THIS” and that was probably a mistake, I just swayed him in the opposite direction and am not preparing for him to be like, “So, I listened to that Emerson whatever record and actually it’s garbage.”

I really should have fucking bought this. I reference this movie once every two or three years and no one ever knows.

Then we left and I put on PVRIS for the drive home. What a wholesome afternoon with Chooch, Home from College.

You guys! Chooch came home Thursday night and all feels right in the world (ok I’m gonna walk back on that one and just go with “in our house”).

First! During my lunch break on Friday, we walked to 802 Coffee where I, as per uje, ordered poorly and hated my latte but chooch’s was delightful (it was their dumb March leprechaun menu).

Then we stopped at the library specifically so he could say hi to Robert the Security Guard who always asks me how he is doing and just told me the other day that he keeps him I. His prayers. Get you a library security guard friend, you guys. Robert is such a gem and one of the few good things that came out of the pandemic because I only started talking to him during the very strict book pickups during the early part of COVID.

After work, Janna & Kara came over for pizza and to pepper Chooch with questions about college. So far, the first thing he tells everyone, including Robert, is that he has been playing Spikeball. (Shout out to Corey who got him this for Xmas and Chooch has said repeatedly that it’s one of the best presents he has ever got ok wow, RIP the memory of me presenting him with Hamilton tickets the first time it came to Pgh.)

It was a really chill night and also I liked this beer a lot even though I poured it wrong apparently.

Oh btw when Chooch came home Thursday night, he opened the fridge and yelled in disgust, “There is only beer in here!!!”

TO BE FAIR – we still have a lot of beer left from Chingumas. I put a moratorium on the weekend Duffy’s runs for build-your-own six packs because I was afraid of becoming an alcoholic. Now I will only drink in social situations like before. You heard it here first.

Smirking because approx. three of us asked him who he was texting and if it was this girl that I have latched on to because he let her name slip several times. They’re going to see The Weeknd with two or three other ppl and she bought all the tickets so I had to Venmo her money for him because I’m Mommy Dearest and also because concerts is the one thing I will never deprive him of.

(well, food and love too I guess lol.)

Anyway, it was such a wholesome night of reminiscing about psychos I attracted during the LJ years, game nights of yesteryear, and when Chooch was a baby with a giant head. It was the perfect start to the weekend!

I got this text from Chooch the other day and it cracked me up so bad. His dining hall has an app I guess where everyone can request songs and then apparently you can thumbs up or thumbs down the requests (here you can see Chooch thumbs downed the Earth Wind & Fire song “because my friend requested it,” he said in his defense. Isn’t he so much like me??!! I would be Janna’s biggest thumbs downer if we were part of this dining hall experience).

Anyway, I was stoked to see the SVT song in question because that one IS SO GOOD. I kept sending him different performances of it and he refused to watch (not even the one from Glastonbury! Or maybe it was Lolla Berlin I can’t remember).

Then!! He texted me a picture of the laptop of the girl sitting next to him in one of his classes – she has not one but TWO pictures of T.O.P.’s Squid Game character Thanos and I was like TELL HER YOUR MOM LOVES BIGBANG.

“She doesn’t know who that is,” he said. “She only knows him from squid game” but then he said he didn’t even ask her so WHO KNOWS – this could have been my future kid-in-law but sure. Cool.

Other incidents I think I already logged here:

• Someone was writing STREAM SEVENTEEN LOVE FAME MONEY on white boards and he accused me of breaking into the dorm lol
• He had to critique someone’s essay in his English class and it was ABOUT THE GLOBALIZATION OF KPOP and he said his feedback was “you forgot to mention that bts only sings in English now” lol snap. Apparently it was moot though because she only had one source to cite and it turned out to be some high school kids paper so she had to pick a new topic.

Also speaking of “Thanos,” my old T.O.P. Valentine has been selling thanks to his renewed popularity!

That’s all for me, reporting from the tail end of the longest Monday ever.

Booooo, we took Chooch back to Philly today. Unlike after Thanksgiving, this was a much better experience. Drove straight there. No fighting. Everyone was in a good mood. I helped Chooch take his stuff back to his room and organized his stack of games while I was at it because they were encroaching on his roommate’s side of the room.

Then we went to Nourish for a late vegan lunch and it was gooooood.

Buffalo wings and scallops to start.

Henry’s Philly steak or whatever. (It was fucking magnificent.)

Chooch had a chik’un Philly cheesesteak thing which I tasted after I had already declared mine the best of the bunch and now I’m just not sure because that seasoning, the peppers, the sauce. Sheesh.

LOOK AT THIS THICC BOY ARE U KIDDING. I have never had a sandwich that tall before.

Not even the Inkigayo!

It took me OUT. I ate half and honestly probably could have housed the rest but Henry gave me the “you’ll get sick” speech so I tapped out and am already anticipating polishing it off later tonight on the road.

Chooch walking the streets of Philly in his Seahawks hoodie and Minion crocs. Sigh.

I briefly got to see one of his friends he’ll be living with next year and then he quickly hugged me and that was that…

…until he came running back to the car because he lost his room key in the backseat and found it lodged inside the middle console thingie. Jesus Christ, him and keys, wallets, and debit cards. I can’t.

ETA Sheetz over Wawa everyday all day long. Fuck Wawa, truly.

• “There’s nothing to eat in this house.” x26278344 throughout the day.
• Walking into the kitchen in the morning to a sink full of dirty dishes even though “there’s nothing to eat in this house.”
• Towels all over the bathroom floor.
• Globs of toothpaste in the sink.
• “I’m bored.” x1728383949 throughout the day.
• Maniacal laughter and screaming well into the night as he plays his dumb computer games with his friends.
• Household expenses ⬆️.
• “I want….” x373848484 throughout the day.
• “I need….” x383849494 throughout the day.
• Annoying YouTube videos featuring grown men screaming playing in the background while I’m working.
• “There’s nothing to do.” x9992827737 throughout the day.
• The rise in my blood pressure when he has an eye appt and I give him my insurance and HSA card and he OF COURSE leaves the house without it and then texts me angrily from the doctor demanding me to “take a picture of the insurance card” so I do and then I go back to work and about 30 minutes later he texts again this time needing my HSA card # and because it took me a whopping 10 seconds to retrieve the card, he then texts THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING. Well yeah and good for the doof who WAS PROVIDED BOTH CARDS IN ADVANCE BY A RESPONSIBLE PARENT yet STILL LEFT WITHOUT BOTH.
• A text sarcastically thanking me for not telling him some road is one lane due to construction.
• Being in the middle of writing a work email while a rant about “and why did I have to pay anything anyway, isn’t that what insurance is for?!” is being tossed around behind me. Welcome to America, sonny boy. (It was a $10 copay but still, he was S H O C K E D by this.)
• Being told throughout the day that everything I do, say, an(d like is dumb like it’s my life’s theme song (omg is this how Henry feels lol).

But other than that, it’s been so nice having him home! 😆

Earlier today, I was trying to get Henry to show off his Seventeen member knowledge to Chooch and he refused.

“Then I’m not talking to you for the rest of the day!” I cried.

“Can you not talk to me too?” Chooch asked with faux enthusiasm.

Just in case you were wondering how “absence makes the heart grow fonder” is working out for our family.

Hello from Thanksgiving! It is so weird having Chooch home! I know he has only been away at college since September but it feels so much longer. And just like old times, he didn’t wake up until nearly 1PM and then came downstairs to take up space and complain (OK but mostly because I was trying to make him watch Seventeen videos).

Penelope was rolling around on the floor, playing with her toys, and I effing swear to god she would stop every once in a while and look back at Chooch as if to see if he was watching. It was so cute but I still think she hates him muchly.

Then he went to the Teen Center to interview the lady who runs the place, since she apparently is more interesting than his own mom and makes a better profile subject. Mmmm. He came home long enough to bitch about things and then went to the mall with his friends (and my credit card ughhhh I miss the days of Working Chooch) so Henry and I chilled out with some kpop content and beer. First I tried this Orval Trappist beer because I was convinced that I love monk stuff but this one was NOT GOOD.

“It smells like the pee of a sick person,” I reported as I pushed my glass toward Henry because he is like the sink drain for my beer rejects. Sorry, but I’m not wasting calories on a gross beer??!!

Henry found a Blue Moon in the back of the fridge and thought it would be a good idea to drink that next. Hello, it was probably left over from a party and who knows how old it was. Blue Moon was one of the first and only beers I was able to tolerate back in the day and if we were at a concert or festival and they had it, Henry would always share his with me because I could never drink a full one on my own and we all know how much concert beer costs. Anyway, I went to have a sip and Henry abruptly warned me it tasted bad and tried to stop me. But I was like I WILL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT.

“Ugh!” I grimaced. “It tastes like—”

“Stop! Don’t ruin it,” Henry pleaded.

“–the interior of an old car. Like if you ate an ace bandage.”

“OK great. That’s enough. Thanks.”

LOL, like I was actually done. “It tastes like Camden Park, like if you licked the duct tape holding together one of the rollercoaster seats,” I continued.

I’m pretty sure he dumped it out after that.

I did have one of my Chouffes though and even though it was an IPA, I found it to be quite refreshing and delightful. Even Henry liked it and was waiting for me to split it with him but I said, “Nah, I’ll just drink the whole thing, but thanks.”

😊

(LOL the TV in the background is showing the livestream from Incheon airport where Dispatch was waiting for Seventeen’s arrival and you better believe we sat here and waited with everyone else because we are legit Carats.)

Wait, real time update: I came downstairs and Henry is ROCKING OUT in the kitchen to Seventeen’s “Hot” while making vegan kimchi. Welcome to Thanksgiving at the Kelly-Robbins shanty.

Today has been pretty chill so far (literally) – I went for a walk in the rain this morning which I majorly regerted afterward and will probably be getting sick soon. But other than that, I have just been relaxing (well, after I got my workout in – I’m trying to get back into a fitness routine and of course I chose Thanksgiving week to kickstart that, like a fucking freak), watching some shows on Hulu, adding some Kpop Christmas cards to my Hello Hanguk shop because I am finally feeling a tiny bit creative again after like, years of not.

We got premade vegan Thanksgiving meal kits from Viridis so I’m looking forward to having that tonight. We have never had anything from Viridis before so this was really a shot in the dark but hopefully it’s good? Wish we lived closer to Seitan’s Realm because their T-giving meals looked fire. I love Seitan’s Realm so much.

Um, I guess that’s all! Just trying to use this bitchin’ space for more free-style type of posts because my therapist said that would be good. (Also, I googled “is it unethical to invite therapist to Christmas party” and I’m sure you already know the answer because even I knew the answer even though TV CHARACTERS ARE ALWAYS INVITING THEIR THERAPISTS TO EVENTS but gentle reminder to myself that I am not a TV CHARACTER, just a BROOKLINE ERIN, but anyway – this is how I learned about “transference” and how therapists are required to immediately refer their patients to someone else when that happens. HOW EMBARRASSING.)

Wait one more thing! Henry is back in the kitchen doing cooking things and Stray Kids’ Lose My Breath just came on and I got SO STOKED all over again about seeing them again next year! I told Henry to turn it up and he tried to get Echo to do it but Echo was like, “OK I WILL STOP THE SONG” and then it took him forever to get it to restart so consider the mood killed.

(My last two blog post titles ended in “Things” so I felt compelled to keep with the theme.)

Anyway!!! I woke up so excited yesterday because it was the official “Chooch Comes Home” day! We can’t trust him with basic things so Henry urged him to leave for the airport around noon even though his flight wasn’t until 6ish lol. He texted me around 1:30 to sarcastically thank me because he had made it through TSA super quick and was now faced with about 5 hours to kill hahaha. But I was relieved that he was at least where he needed to be and I could stop worrying about him arriving late and missing his flight.

And yes, I had begun nagging him a full week ago about not forgetting to bring his passport.

Just doing my job!

He randomly sent me this and it cracked me up because ew football. I asked him who took the picture and he said some random guy. Did Chooch actually….ASK for someone to take his picture? Please someone tell me who is this kid, FOR I DO NOT KNOW.

I was practically bouncing myself out of my desk chair all day, in anticipation. I wanted to leave for the airport as soon as I logged off from work at 5:30 but Henry was like HE HAS NOT EVEN BOARDED YET and Chooch was like THE PLANE ISN’T EVEN HERE YET. Boarding was delayed by nearly an hour, which was making me lose my mind.

As soon as Henry saw that the plane was over Harrisburg, he was like, “OK fine, we can leave for the airport now.” YAY YAY YAY YAY!!!

Even though there was an hour delay, he still somehow landed only 10 minutes later than scheduled. I hated almost every single person who walked past us while we were waiting, btw. Just lots of people I could tell that I would hate if I had to:

• live near them
• work with them
• stand in line somewhere with them

Henry was lecturing me about judging books by their cover (OK Mr. Rogers). But then he said, “Look, there’s Mark Madden” and I actually truly do hate that guy, so….see?!?!

(I used to listen to A LOT of sports radio when I was an uber hockey stan.)

As soon as Chooch texted me that he was on the shuttle, I got my phone ready like Dispatch in South Korea waiting for G-Dragon’s airport arrival. Chooch was T H R I L L E D.

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There was no hugging or anything like that – Chooch would never. LOL. And as soon as we got in the car, he read us a literal list of demands. Mostly necessities so I was OK with it, but then of course he tacked on, “and an iPhone 16” at the end, lol. Go away.

“I have to write a profile on someone for English while I’m home—” he started to say, to which I interrupted by shooting my hand into the air and grunting, “Oooh! Ooooh!” and he quickly cut me off with a curt, “Not you.”

WOW.

I guess he is going to ask the lady in charge of the Brookline teen center. Even though I am entirely more interesting, but OK.

I made him pose for a picture by the renovated Chooch Wall and when I said, “Ugh, smile properly!” this is what I got. He thought he did it fast enough that I wouldn’t get it BUT I DID and immediately posted it on Instagram much to his chagrin. :D

He had plans to hang out with his friend Isai but I made him watch the G-Dragon/BIGBANG performance from MAMA first and he actually sat through it and made comments like, “Is Seungri going to come out too?” KNOWING FULL WELL THAT THAT WOULD TRIGGER ME. But then when it was the BANG BANG BANG performance and G-Dragon come out with a new outfit on, Chooch goes, “UGH that is totally how he dressed me that one time!” and I knew exactly what he was referring to because I too made the comparison!

Also, Penelope seems mad that he is home. She was legit glaring at him on the steps last night and I said, “That’s because you’re her abuser!” He’s always telling her she looks like a rat and that she stinks!

I can’t wait to barely see him while he’s home!

Chooch and I always had a competition with our cats because Drew was his and Penelope was mine (let it be known that I was the one who picked Drew too though!!) so we would always fake-fight over who was cuter, better, more popular (we even made Instagram accounts for each cat to see who got more followers and likes, it was to that level). Chooch would jokingly call Penelope a rat, tell her she stinks, etc. but all in good fun.

So, when he left for college, I didn’t think she would really care but then the other day I caught her standing up on the back of the church and looking at Chooch’s pictures. PROBABLY JUST A COINCIDENCE.

Then! She’s been hanging out in the attic, which you might remember is only accessible through Chooch’s closet door. Henry reasoned that it was probably just because he’s not in his room now so she can walk through to the attic steps without being bothered him.

This is logical.

But then yesterday, I walked past Chooch’s room and saw this:

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Maybe she does actually miss him?? I mean, first her sister goes away and now Chooch. She must be really confused :(

I hate this.

Thank god someone the Drexel Catholic group was on the ball yesterday for first day of classes or else this would have been a true of an era re: FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL PICTURES!

I’m so excited about this, less sad than I thought I would be because I can already see him thriving and it’s the coolest feeling for a parent. Henry and I are both so proud of him!

I mean, as long as he doesn’t get off track, that is!!

The day finally came where Chooch spread his wings while Henry and I called out from the ground, “FLY BABY BIRD FLY” which is what I would have said on here in all sincerity if I were a momfluencer or something and not an affection claustrophobe who legit just cringed when she typed that. But in all fairness, my eyes did spontaneously squirt in copious amounts the moment we arrived at the designated “move-in meet-up lot” where we drove through a series of checkpoints manned by high-energy Drexel staff / volunteers who were eager to be a part of our journey, or at least did a fantastic job acting like it.

When Chooch peeped my soggy eyeballs, he said, “No. Don’t do that.”

I guess I should also note that Henry refused to listen to Chooch when he was trying to tell him that we weren’t supposed to go directly to the dorm, but of course Henry was like I AM MAN, I KNOW EVERYTHING and tried to pull past the cop that was partially blocking the street that the dorm is on, and the cop was like WRONG. PULL OVER AND I WILL GIVE YOU DIRECTIONS and then the car behind us was beeping so the cop stepped up and yelled, “HOLD ON! YOU JERK OFF*.” And then scowled at him as the car zipped past us. I was dying. It is rare that I like a cop but this guy was a winner.

*(Had this been a Pittsburgh cop, it would have been JAG OFF. Don’t say I don’t teach you stuff on here, non-‘Burghers. Maybe we’ll do a quiz at the end of the year. Pay attention.)

So, Chooch was correct and there was the aforementioned parking lot that was designated as the first stop, where we checked in, got the tag for the car which included name tags that the movers would need, and then we all got pins too! That’s all I cared about really. My DREXEL MOM pin which I immediately attached to my hamburger purse that served as the thorn in Chooch’s side all day when COLLEGE STUDENTS were peppering me with enthusiastic compliments and probably whispered, “IS SHE HIS SISTER? SHE IS COOL” behind our backs.  Yeah, that’s me. You know that’s right.

Anyway! Now that we were properly tagged, we drove back to the dorm and this time the cop stepped aside for us and I waved at him frantically, but he ignored me.

Drexel has their move-in process so well-oiled, I will give them that. We were in the 9:30am time slot and when we rolled up to the dorm, a group of movers started taking all of Chooch’s crap out of the car and loading it into a giant box with his name and room # on it, plus we were required to tag all of his stuff too before getting there. This whole process took about a minute. It couldn’t have gone more smoothly!

From here, we went to the Drexel parking garage to stash our car so that we could then troll campus. Right as we got out of the car, my mom texted and asked if we met the roommate yet. Right as I was saying ‘not yet,’ Chooch started walking to a car behind ours where a family had just gotten out and yep – it was the roommate! They became IG friends a few mths ago and sort of got to know each other that way, to the extent that your average 18 year old opens up on social media.

The roommate is Kussh from NJ and his parents were SO DOWN TO THE EARTH, but also way more parental than Henry and me – the dad in Dockers and the mom in respectable slacks. Henry was in his usual costume of a baggy shirt in some ugly cousin of coral, and I was wearing an ATEEZ concert shirt with my hamburger purse.

When we got to the dorm room, the mom handed me a Clorox wipe and I was like, “Oh…thanks” and then had to low key watch to see what I was supposed to do with it. She had immediately begun to wipe down all surfaces, so I followed suit, albeit with much less vigor. I helped a little, I swear I did, but after a while I just sat on the bed and surveyed the progress like the foreman of a construction site.

I had to send this to my mom. Somewhere along the way, Chooch had found this old sweatshirt from my Pappap’s drywall company. It must have been in the attic closet, I don’t know, but he had started wearing it several years ago and it made it to Drexel with him!

As well as Wawa coupons that a co-worker sent him which, according to my friend Nate “add some color to the cinder block walls” lol.

After a first pass at getting the room organized, we ventured out to campus to see what was going on (and by this I mean that Chooch was on the prowl for “free shit” – his favorite past time). After signing up for a raffle at a Giant table (still not sure if this affiliated with our local Giant Eagle supermarkets and here I am with the wide world web at my fingertips but also happen to be sitting under a cloak of ambivalence so maybe later), and grabbing a free water bottle, he went and got his Dragon card.

I really like that he’s at a school with an urban campus. It’s so bustling and exciting there! AND FOOD TRUCKS EVERYWHERE.

He’s on the second floor from the top!

There’s a good bit of green space too and you will be happy to know – A TON OF MR. GRAY GUYS. (Gray squirrels, duh.) I kept calling out, “Hi Mr. Gray Guy! I love you!” every 10 seconds much to Chooch’s delight.

Then it was lunch time! We walked to a nearby food hall called Franklin Table or something which appeared to be more on the UPenn campus (Drexel and UPenn butt up against each other, much like two similar colleges in Chooch’s hometown – Pitt and CMU. I hadn’t even realized that parallel until my friend Lori pointed it out and I was like, “…..oh!). I wanted to go here because Goldie, a vegan joint known for their tahini shakes. I’ve been following them for years on Instagram and now it was finally time!

I got the OG flavor and can confirm that it was worth the wait. I want to have one every time I visit Chooch now. I got some rice paper burrito thing with tofu at a neighboring counter (so did Chooch) and I liked it but it was too big and also a pain in the ass to eat. So I traded with Henry and gave him my remaining half for his Goldie’s falafel plate. Also – their pita was SO GOOD AND WARM AND FLUFFY!

Henry and Chooch both got drinks from a boba place there too. Between all these nearby vegan options and the dining hall(s) at Drexel, Chooch better never complain about being hungry because I felt extremely well-fed!

This was a street behind the Franklin food thingie – it’s so cute!

Then we took Septa (I hate that name so much) to the H-Mart in Upper Darby which was definitely not the best H-Mart I’ve ever been to, that’s for sure. I’m pretty sure this isn’t the best one in Philly but it was the most convenient one for us to get to at that time. Chooch picked up some snacks and treats for the room and I got myself a bag of those adorable salt bread snacks that I bought in Seoul and somehow spent a whole week eating in the hotel room:

Um, it did not take me a week to eat the whole bag this time, though.

Definitely NOT the face of someone who will miss their mother snapping photos of them doing ordinary things like waiting for the subway. BUT MAYBE HE WILL.

Then we came back to University City and explored some more, got some free shirts, he ran from table to table in the welcome center, making connections, signing up for things, getting the scoop on upcoming events. It was fun to hang back and watch him go off. I am certain that he was made for the college life.

I dunno what was going on here, probably just me being excited that Chooch has a dorm room.

View from his window!

I made him change into his Drexel shirt LOL. What – other people were also wearing theirs?!

AND THEN I FINALLY GOT TO TAKE A BETTER PICTURE OF HIM WITH THE DRAGON! THE PICTURE I HAD BEEN HOPING FOR ALL WEEKEND!

I’d like to point out that some of the RAs commented on my hamburger purse :) Hopefully they will recognize Chooch going forward as “that kid with the cool mom who we originally thought was also a student because she was so YOUNG AND COOL LOOKING.”

Hahaha. Ugh.

We walked around campus a bit before leaving because Chooch wanted to see the Computer Science building. On the way there, we saw a young Asian couple arguing in the same way couples in Korea argue – usually they will stand and look at each other in anger without really speaking and something akin to that was happening here until the girl stormed off ahead of him and at that point I was like, “Aw, that looks like me and Henry.”

Anyway, as soon as we came out of the computer science building, the guy-part of the couple came RUNNING past us, but his girlfriend was no longer with him! There is a Kung Fu Tea on the block, and two people came running to the door to watch this, like they recognized him, and I deduced that perhaps Kung Fu Tea was the origin of the fight??

I guess you had to be there, but we were pretty invested. I wonder if they are still fighting.

A NEON MUSEUM is also attached to the computer science building!!

Um…then we walked and got coffee at Madis which we attempted to go to last April but it was PACKED because there was also a street fair happening that day and everyone was out and about. It wasn’t that much less crowded this time either, I will tell you that much. I dunno, it was ok. But I ordered poorly – I felt rushed and just got a plain iced latte instead of something fun because I couldn’t see the menu.

This was moments before we finally cut the cord and left OUR BABY IN PHILLY. Henry per usual took the worst picture of me but whatever, at least I have it. Then Henry went back inside to pee and while he was in there, Chooch was like, “Well, I guess I’m going back to my room now” and I said, “You’re not going to say goodbye to your dad?”

“I mean…if I see him in there, I will.”

W-O-W lol.

I was sitting on the wall watching, and right when Chooch got to the door, Henry started to come out, and what happened next will be seared into my memory forever.

HENRY SHOOK HIS HAND.

Chooch’s face scrunched up in confusion. Then they were both laughing so hard that their faces were red. I think they also attempted to hug but that was thwarted by both of them being awkward and then they gave up and went their separate ways. I was fucking dying, like literally almost pissed my pants, watching this unfold and by the time Henry joined me, I could barely breathe.

“WTF WAS THAT?” I wheezed. “You shook his hand??”

“Well, he was turned at a weird angle and I couldn’t hug him, I don’t know!” Henry laughed.

I guess Henry also thought that Chooch was on his way inside to find him to say goodbye and I said, “Oh, no. He had every intention on just going straight to his room. He said if he ran into you, fine.”

“Wow,” Henry muttered.

Overall, I feel OK about this. I haven’t had any soul-crushing cry seshes since we’ve been home (I did have a few last spring though – this whole-ass process has been stressful AF, I am not even being overly dramatic here) and I think right now, I am feeling really excited for him and also a sense of FOMO because I didn’t go to college right after high school and I never really regretted it but I think I would have been SO FUCKING GOOD AT IT. I mean, the social part. I was a real character back then, had no fear, no filter, was loud and proud. Basically, who my therapist is helping me find again. :)

I’m really stoked to get to see more of Philly and find places that can be my “spot” when I visit. I definitely want to try more matcha places! He is apparently going to take us to Reading Terminal Market on Sunday because of all of the times we have been in Philly, we have not once been there and he just went yesterday with a group and sent me pictures.

“Don’t worry, they have donuts too,” he said, and I was like, “WOW, you make me sound like a cop.”

I had last Wednesday off of work, in effort to make extra SUMMER MEMORIES with My Son, Soon Off to College. I had suggested going to Laurel Caverns, and a quick glance at This Blog told me we hadn’t been there since 2017!! Chooch originally said sure, because he likes that there is a mini golf course there. But then I went to their website and saw that mini golf is NOW DEFUNCT. I told him and he was all harumphing about it or whatever, but I didn’t think that this changed our course. So, I proceeded to wake him up the next morning, saying that I wanted to go soon and he was like BUT THERE IS NO MINI GOLF so me being me, I threw a hissy fit and said, “FINE. WE’LL DO NOTHING TODAY THEN. I AM SO GLAD I TOOK THE DAY OFF.”

Who is the kid in this sitch, though, for real.

Anyway, he came downstairs after a bit, all showered and ready to go.

“WHERE ARE YOU GOING?” I spat, and he calmly said, “To Laurel Caverns.”

I tried to keep up my Mommy Scorned demeanor, but really I was like, “Yay!” and then he even drove too!

It takes about 45 minutes to get there, maybe an hour, who can be sure. We chatted the whole time BECAUSE WE ARE BEST FRIENDS.

(I hope he sees this the next time he comes here to fulfill another of my blog design wish list items.)

I had to pee immediately upon arriving and am happy to report that the bathrooms still appear to be the same as they were when I first started coming here in the 80s with the Girl Scouts.

A tour was leaving just as I was buying our tickets so we made it JUST IN TIME. Our guide was a young man named DANIEL and he was absolutely precious. ACTUALLY, THIS IS HIM:

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I LAUGHED HEARTILY AT ALL OF HIS DAD JOKES. Chooch did not.

Our group wasn’t very big, being a weekday afternoon. Just us and maybe 3 other families plus an older couple.

Somehow the tour always feels never-the-same to me. But this time it was even more different because the guided tour was drastically truncated and then an optional self-guided tour was available at the end. I asked the lady at the ticket counter if this was a new thing and she goes, “Oh! No, not really,” in a tone that made me feel like A FOOL for asking. But then she said, “We started doing it about two years ago after the pandemic.”

OK WELL THAT’S KIND OF RECENT THOUGH??

I can’t imagine back in the day, or in this day even, being like, “Oh cool a hole in the earth, let’s slip inside and see what’s up.”

The guided portion with DANIEL was over in a blink, and of course we opted for the self-guided portion afterward, which was billed as an additional 45-60 MINUTES and came with all kinds of caveats about STEEP GRADES and MYRIAD STEPS or whatever, but I feel like it only took us about 20 minutes to get through it?!

I was going to try and convince you that Chooch was in the middle of a cave-dweller conjuring here but I think he was actually just catching water drops on his hand.

I didn’t realize until later that night at home that what I assumed was a brochure we were handed with our tickets was actually a map for the self-guided tour which would have explained things we were looking at. Oh well.

We did see Calico Falls though! Because there was a sign with an arrow, so…

SPARKLY.

And then we had to climb up a shit ton of steps that even had me a little winded by the end and I am in pretty good step-climbing shape. JUST SO YOU KNOW.

We couldn’t leave without perusing the gift shop and then filling out the COMMENT CARD, but first we:

1. needed a pen;
2. needed confirmation of our guide’s name

Chooch handled both of these because I’m convinced that saying, “Excuse me?” in a fake polite voice is his most favorite past time. The lady who gave us our tickets handled these requests and probably thought we were so needy. I couldn’t really get a good feel for her but I thought perhaps she was annoyed by us.

Then we went outside to the deck because that is a must-do at Laurel Caverns!

Chooch was like, “Seriously!? You don’t have to pay for these in Korea!” Yeah, because Korea is King. Korea wants people to see beautiful nature for free.

Fun fact, I won a Cultural Arts medal in elementary school by submitting a photograph I took from this summit. WOW, I AM SO COOL I KNOW.

Fun fact #2, I have a Cultural Arts medal hanging in my kitchen BUT IT’S FROM A LATER YEAR, FOR A DIFFERENT VISUAL ARTS SUBMISSION. All I did was win back then, she said as she effortlessly cracks her knuckles.

Before leaving, we stopped to mourn the area where the mini golf course used to be. It’s now something called THE GROTTOES and all we knew was that it was something for kids. Chooch was like, “No, I can’t leave until I know exactly what this is” so he went back to the gift shop counter where several of the ladies were congregated and hit them with another, “Excuse me?”

One of the women explained that it’s a scavenger hunt “for children.” And we were like, ‘Oh, OK” and we must have come across as crestfallen because the lady who I wasn’t sure hated us or not cut in to say, “I’ll sell you one ticket and you both can go in, if you want.”

Chooch and I looked at each other and immediately said, “OK!” We both identify as children, after all.

And then she even discounted that one ticket on top of it!! Suddenly this lady loved us for some reason. I mean, we ARE pretty adorable. Then as she was getting the clipboard with the scavenger items (animals that we would find painted on the walls) and lanterns, she explained to us that the owner had built the largest man-made caverns in the country to house the mini golf course. It’s made from cement, but actual stalactites had begun to form but over the years, people kept damaging it and the owner got pissed and shut it down in 2019 – so, two years after we were last there. And now it’s reopened as this adorable activity for little kids!

(And me and Chooch!)

There were 10 or 12 animals on the list, and as the lady opened the door for us, she goes, “I think the bat is the hardest to find –  I can give you a hint if you want” but we yelled NO because we are so competitive and needed to do this with no help.

To say that we took this extremely seriously, the outcome of which we would carry with us for the rest of our lives, was an understatement. We took to that darkened, man-made ex-mini golf cave by storm, holding our lanterns to the ceiling like we were announcing the arrival of the Red Coats, diligently checking off animal after animal, even writing in some that weren’t on the list (“They must be trying to trick us,” Chooch scoffed. As if.)

But then, we had made it all the way to the exit and one animal remained. “How did we miss this!?” Chooch cried. “We have to go back and look again, I need 100% completion.”

So, we began to backtrack. By this point, one lone family had also entered the Grottoes – a couple with their young son (maybe 5?) and a younger baby carried on the dad’s back in some baby hiking apparatus. They were also on the tour with us and were very mild, so I was not mad about their arrival. Chooch ran up ahead and yelled across the Grottoes to them (there were some parts that were more open and less maze-like than others so you could see other areas where you had already been), “Have you seen a monkey yet?”

They checked their paper and then the mom called back, “No, no monkey yet!” and then the little kid started repeating, “Monkey? Monkey?”

“Wait — we’re looking for a monkey? Why did I think we were looking for a dog??” I asked Chooch, who probably said, “Because you’re stupid” or something equally as disparaging because this is how I taught him to show love.

Anyway, now we had this family fixated on the monkey and we ALL ended up retracing our steps all the way back to the beginning (oh, we did find the bat btw and it was sort of tricky but we wouldn’t have needed a clue!!) until finally we conceded that the monkey just didn’t exist.

“Maybe they put that on here on purpose so if people came out with it checked, Laurel Caverns will know they’re lying,” Chooch said an approximation of this (now that he’s been working on fixing my blog, he has been criticizing my blog posts and accusing me of PUTTING WORDS IN PEOPLES MOUTHS, etc etc and I am like OK, CREATIVE LICENSE and also I’m sorry that I don’t walk around with a voice recorder to assure 100% accuracy BUT I CAN CERTAINING START DOING SO, CHOOCH).

We left the Grottoes and the ladies were like DID YOU HAVE FUN? DID YOU FIND EVERYTHING? and we were like YES BUT WHERE IS THE MONKEY?? and the lady who sold us the ticket was like “It should be there?” and the other lady was like, at the same time, “Oh, she* has been repainting all the animals and hasn’t gotten to the monkey yet – it’s painted over.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

*I dunno who SHE is but maybe SHE could have crossed MONKEY off the list for the time being?!

So, we spent literally an hour in these darkened recesses looking for something that didn’t exist. But did we have fun? Fuck yes.

But then, the lady who sold us the ticket and apparently loved us was like, “COME ON I’LL SHOW YOU WHERE THE MONKEY SHOULD BE AND YOU CAN SHOW ME THE EXTRA ANIMALS TOO BECAUSE I HAVEN’T SEEN THOSE YET!” so we had to walk through A THIRD TIME which is so fucking hilarious to me and kind of what Chooch deserved since he was being so whiny about the mini golf course not being there anymore. That was A LOT of quality time at the mini golf gravesite.

Anyway, she showed us the little nook where the monkey will eventually be resurrected and Chooch was so pissed. “I KNEW something should have been in this room!” he cried. Then we had to walk around trying to find all the little mice and snakes to show her and she was actually so giddy about discovering these new little paintings, so it was kind of cute.

After we said goodbye to our gift shop friends, we ran into the Grottoes family over by the restrooms and I told them that the monkey has been painted over. The dad was, “I KNEW IT!!” and then we accidentally walked out to the parking lot with them while they were talking about where they were going to get lunch and I never heard what they decided on, so I was nervous that we were going to end up at the same place because these are the neurotic social worries I have.

Chooch made me get out of the car and take this picture. He is obsessed with Kirby, as you will note by his Kirby hoodie that he brought after I yelled at him to bring a hoodie because it would be FREEZING IN THE CAVERN.

We ended up stopping at ROY’S PUB in Uniontown for lunch. Funny how when Henry the Antagonizer isn’t with us, we manage to find somewhere to eat almost instantly with no fights. Hmmm. Could Henry be what you might call THE CATALYST?

It’s was FRED’S birthday and I will tell you how we know this: one of the servers went out to the parking lot and the came hoofing it back in, wheezing, “FRED’S HERE!” And then when this old man entered, everyone was like “FRED!” and I was afraid they were also going to break out into “For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow” which I have never actually in real life but feel like I would melt from secondhand embarrassment if so, but that did not happen. Instead, they directed him to sit at the bar stool with the Birthday….Banner? Cape? slung over the back, and then later they brought a cupcake out of the kitchen and serenaded him.

That part was ok, though. I felt like we should have sung along too but instead we just there, full-mastication mode, being creepy City Folk Voyeurs to this quaint villager celebration.

We contemplated getting an appetizer called the WAGON WHEEL but after the server described it as a Mexican thing having a “pork rind texture,”  I was convinced it was meat-tainted even though Chooch kept saying, “She just said pork rind TEXTURE and that’s made with WHEAT” and then he tried googling it but only dessert-things were coming up.

The grilled cheese was good but made with miniature bread. The fries were also good. Our lunch came to $18 and it was the cheapest lunch we’ve had in a very long time, which is sad. #EconomyThings

Roy’s hot water isn’t just regular hot, it’s very hot. That’s Roy’s for you.

Anyway, what a nice and memorable day spent with my kid who almost treats me like a real person now! 18 is a cool age.

Hi. I remembered to use the “good” camera at one point during our weekend trip and here are some of the pictures I took that came out OK despite my poor eyesight. These are from Rockland Harbor and the iconic Portland Head Light. Of course, I have a million more photos from these places but they’re iPhone photos and will be posted later with like, more words and stuff.

I almost died climbing down here but I liked this spot a lot. And it was surprisingly not very crowded at sunset!

We went to three lighthouses on this day – am I now a lighthouse thoosie!?