Hello from Thanksgiving! It is so weird having Chooch home! I know he has only been away at college since September but it feels so much longer. And just like old times, he didn’t wake up until nearly 1PM and then came downstairs to take up space and complain (OK but mostly because I was trying to make him watch Seventeen videos).

Penelope was rolling around on the floor, playing with her toys, and I effing swear to god she would stop every once in a while and look back at Chooch as if to see if he was watching. It was so cute but I still think she hates him muchly.

Then he went to the Teen Center to interview the lady who runs the place, since she apparently is more interesting than his own mom and makes a better profile subject. Mmmm. He came home long enough to bitch about things and then went to the mall with his friends (and my credit card ughhhh I miss the days of Working Chooch) so Henry and I chilled out with some kpop content and beer. First I tried this Orval Trappist beer because I was convinced that I love monk stuff but this one was NOT GOOD.

“It smells like the pee of a sick person,” I reported as I pushed my glass toward Henry because he is like the sink drain for my beer rejects. Sorry, but I’m not wasting calories on a gross beer??!!

Henry found a Blue Moon in the back of the fridge and thought it would be a good idea to drink that next. Hello, it was probably left over from a party and who knows how old it was. Blue Moon was one of the first and only beers I was able to tolerate back in the day and if we were at a concert or festival and they had it, Henry would always share his with me because I could never drink a full one on my own and we all know how much concert beer costs. Anyway, I went to have a sip and Henry abruptly warned me it tasted bad and tried to stop me. But I was like I WILL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT.

“Ugh!” I grimaced. “It tastes like—”

“Stop! Don’t ruin it,” Henry pleaded.

“–the interior of an old car. Like if you ate an ace bandage.”

“OK great. That’s enough. Thanks.”

LOL, like I was actually done. “It tastes like Camden Park, like if you licked the duct tape holding together one of the rollercoaster seats,” I continued.

I’m pretty sure he dumped it out after that.

I did have one of my Chouffes though and even though it was an IPA, I found it to be quite refreshing and delightful. Even Henry liked it and was waiting for me to split it with him but I said, “Nah, I’ll just drink the whole thing, but thanks.”

😊

(LOL the TV in the background is showing the livestream from Incheon airport where Dispatch was waiting for Seventeen’s arrival and you better believe we sat here and waited with everyone else because we are legit Carats.)

Wait, real time update: I came downstairs and Henry is ROCKING OUT in the kitchen to Seventeen’s “Hot” while making vegan kimchi. Welcome to Thanksgiving at the Kelly-Robbins shanty.

Today has been pretty chill so far (literally) – I went for a walk in the rain this morning which I majorly regerted afterward and will probably be getting sick soon. But other than that, I have just been relaxing (well, after I got my workout in – I’m trying to get back into a fitness routine and of course I chose Thanksgiving week to kickstart that, like a fucking freak), watching some shows on Hulu, adding some Kpop Christmas cards to my Hello Hanguk shop because I am finally feeling a tiny bit creative again after like, years of not.

We got premade vegan Thanksgiving meal kits from Viridis so I’m looking forward to having that tonight. We have never had anything from Viridis before so this was really a shot in the dark but hopefully it’s good? Wish we lived closer to Seitan’s Realm because their T-giving meals looked fire. I love Seitan’s Realm so much.

Um, I guess that’s all! Just trying to use this bitchin’ space for more free-style type of posts because my therapist said that would be good. (Also, I googled “is it unethical to invite therapist to Christmas party” and I’m sure you already know the answer because even I knew the answer even though TV CHARACTERS ARE ALWAYS INVITING THEIR THERAPISTS TO EVENTS but gentle reminder to myself that I am not a TV CHARACTER, just a BROOKLINE ERIN, but anyway – this is how I learned about “transference” and how therapists are required to immediately refer their patients to someone else when that happens. HOW EMBARRASSING.)

Wait one more thing! Henry is back in the kitchen doing cooking things and Stray Kids’ Lose My Breath just came on and I got SO STOKED all over again about seeing them again next year! I told Henry to turn it up and he tried to get Echo to do it but Echo was like, “OK I WILL STOP THE SONG” and then it took him forever to get it to restart so consider the mood killed.

(My last two blog post titles ended in “Things” so I felt compelled to keep with the theme.)

Anyway!!! I woke up so excited yesterday because it was the official “Chooch Comes Home” day! We can’t trust him with basic things so Henry urged him to leave for the airport around noon even though his flight wasn’t until 6ish lol. He texted me around 1:30 to sarcastically thank me because he had made it through TSA super quick and was now faced with about 5 hours to kill hahaha. But I was relieved that he was at least where he needed to be and I could stop worrying about him arriving late and missing his flight.

And yes, I had begun nagging him a full week ago about not forgetting to bring his passport.

Just doing my job!

He randomly sent me this and it cracked me up because ew football. I asked him who took the picture and he said some random guy. Did Chooch actually….ASK for someone to take his picture? Please someone tell me who is this kid, FOR I DO NOT KNOW.

I was practically bouncing myself out of my desk chair all day, in anticipation. I wanted to leave for the airport as soon as I logged off from work at 5:30 but Henry was like HE HAS NOT EVEN BOARDED YET and Chooch was like THE PLANE ISN’T EVEN HERE YET. Boarding was delayed by nearly an hour, which was making me lose my mind.

As soon as Henry saw that the plane was over Harrisburg, he was like, “OK fine, we can leave for the airport now.” YAY YAY YAY YAY!!!

Even though there was an hour delay, he still somehow landed only 10 minutes later than scheduled. I hated almost every single person who walked past us while we were waiting, btw. Just lots of people I could tell that I would hate if I had to:

• live near them
• work with them
• stand in line somewhere with them

Henry was lecturing me about judging books by their cover (OK Mr. Rogers). But then he said, “Look, there’s Mark Madden” and I actually truly do hate that guy, so….see?!?!

(I used to listen to A LOT of sports radio when I was an uber hockey stan.)

As soon as Chooch texted me that he was on the shuttle, I got my phone ready like Dispatch in South Korea waiting for G-Dragon’s airport arrival. Chooch was T H R I L L E D.

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There was no hugging or anything like that – Chooch would never. LOL. And as soon as we got in the car, he read us a literal list of demands. Mostly necessities so I was OK with it, but then of course he tacked on, “and an iPhone 16” at the end, lol. Go away.

“I have to write a profile on someone for English while I’m home—” he started to say, to which I interrupted by shooting my hand into the air and grunting, “Oooh! Ooooh!” and he quickly cut me off with a curt, “Not you.”

WOW.

I guess he is going to ask the lady in charge of the Brookline teen center. Even though I am entirely more interesting, but OK.

I made him pose for a picture by the renovated Chooch Wall and when I said, “Ugh, smile properly!” this is what I got. He thought he did it fast enough that I wouldn’t get it BUT I DID and immediately posted it on Instagram much to his chagrin. :D

He had plans to hang out with his friend Isai but I made him watch the G-Dragon/BIGBANG performance from MAMA first and he actually sat through it and made comments like, “Is Seungri going to come out too?” KNOWING FULL WELL THAT THAT WOULD TRIGGER ME. But then when it was the BANG BANG BANG performance and G-Dragon come out with a new outfit on, Chooch goes, “UGH that is totally how he dressed me that one time!” and I knew exactly what he was referring to because I too made the comparison!

Also, Penelope seems mad that he is home. She was legit glaring at him on the steps last night and I said, “That’s because you’re her abuser!” He’s always telling her she looks like a rat and that she stinks!

I can’t wait to barely see him while he’s home!

Chooch and I always had a competition with our cats because Drew was his and Penelope was mine (let it be known that I was the one who picked Drew too though!!) so we would always fake-fight over who was cuter, better, more popular (we even made Instagram accounts for each cat to see who got more followers and likes, it was to that level). Chooch would jokingly call Penelope a rat, tell her she stinks, etc. but all in good fun.

So, when he left for college, I didn’t think she would really care but then the other day I caught her standing up on the back of the church and looking at Chooch’s pictures. PROBABLY JUST A COINCIDENCE.

Then! She’s been hanging out in the attic, which you might remember is only accessible through Chooch’s closet door. Henry reasoned that it was probably just because he’s not in his room now so she can walk through to the attic steps without being bothered him.

This is logical.

But then yesterday, I walked past Chooch’s room and saw this:

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Maybe she does actually miss him?? I mean, first her sister goes away and now Chooch. She must be really confused :(

I hate this.

Thank god someone the Drexel Catholic group was on the ball yesterday for first day of classes or else this would have been a true of an era re: FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL PICTURES!

I’m so excited about this, less sad than I thought I would be because I can already see him thriving and it’s the coolest feeling for a parent. Henry and I are both so proud of him!

I mean, as long as he doesn’t get off track, that is!!

The day finally came where Chooch spread his wings while Henry and I called out from the ground, “FLY BABY BIRD FLY” which is what I would have said on here in all sincerity if I were a momfluencer or something and not an affection claustrophobe who legit just cringed when she typed that. But in all fairness, my eyes did spontaneously squirt in copious amounts the moment we arrived at the designated “move-in meet-up lot” where we drove through a series of checkpoints manned by high-energy Drexel staff / volunteers who were eager to be a part of our journey, or at least did a fantastic job acting like it.

When Chooch peeped my soggy eyeballs, he said, “No. Don’t do that.”

I guess I should also note that Henry refused to listen to Chooch when he was trying to tell him that we weren’t supposed to go directly to the dorm, but of course Henry was like I AM MAN, I KNOW EVERYTHING and tried to pull past the cop that was partially blocking the street that the dorm is on, and the cop was like WRONG. PULL OVER AND I WILL GIVE YOU DIRECTIONS and then the car behind us was beeping so the cop stepped up and yelled, “HOLD ON! YOU JERK OFF*.” And then scowled at him as the car zipped past us. I was dying. It is rare that I like a cop but this guy was a winner.

*(Had this been a Pittsburgh cop, it would have been JAG OFF. Don’t say I don’t teach you stuff on here, non-‘Burghers. Maybe we’ll do a quiz at the end of the year. Pay attention.)

So, Chooch was correct and there was the aforementioned parking lot that was designated as the first stop, where we checked in, got the tag for the car which included name tags that the movers would need, and then we all got pins too! That’s all I cared about really. My DREXEL MOM pin which I immediately attached to my hamburger purse that served as the thorn in Chooch’s side all day when COLLEGE STUDENTS were peppering me with enthusiastic compliments and probably whispered, “IS SHE HIS SISTER? SHE IS COOL” behind our backs.  Yeah, that’s me. You know that’s right.

Anyway! Now that we were properly tagged, we drove back to the dorm and this time the cop stepped aside for us and I waved at him frantically, but he ignored me.

Drexel has their move-in process so well-oiled, I will give them that. We were in the 9:30am time slot and when we rolled up to the dorm, a group of movers started taking all of Chooch’s crap out of the car and loading it into a giant box with his name and room # on it, plus we were required to tag all of his stuff too before getting there. This whole process took about a minute. It couldn’t have gone more smoothly!

From here, we went to the Drexel parking garage to stash our car so that we could then troll campus. Right as we got out of the car, my mom texted and asked if we met the roommate yet. Right as I was saying ‘not yet,’ Chooch started walking to a car behind ours where a family had just gotten out and yep – it was the roommate! They became IG friends a few mths ago and sort of got to know each other that way, to the extent that your average 18 year old opens up on social media.

The roommate is Kussh from NJ and his parents were SO DOWN TO THE EARTH, but also way more parental than Henry and me – the dad in Dockers and the mom in respectable slacks. Henry was in his usual costume of a baggy shirt in some ugly cousin of coral, and I was wearing an ATEEZ concert shirt with my hamburger purse.

When we got to the dorm room, the mom handed me a Clorox wipe and I was like, “Oh…thanks” and then had to low key watch to see what I was supposed to do with it. She had immediately begun to wipe down all surfaces, so I followed suit, albeit with much less vigor. I helped a little, I swear I did, but after a while I just sat on the bed and surveyed the progress like the foreman of a construction site.

I had to send this to my mom. Somewhere along the way, Chooch had found this old sweatshirt from my Pappap’s drywall company. It must have been in the attic closet, I don’t know, but he had started wearing it several years ago and it made it to Drexel with him!

As well as Wawa coupons that a co-worker sent him which, according to my friend Nate “add some color to the cinder block walls” lol.

After a first pass at getting the room organized, we ventured out to campus to see what was going on (and by this I mean that Chooch was on the prowl for “free shit” – his favorite past time). After signing up for a raffle at a Giant table (still not sure if this affiliated with our local Giant Eagle supermarkets and here I am with the wide world web at my fingertips but also happen to be sitting under a cloak of ambivalence so maybe later), and grabbing a free water bottle, he went and got his Dragon card.

I really like that he’s at a school with an urban campus. It’s so bustling and exciting there! AND FOOD TRUCKS EVERYWHERE.

He’s on the second floor from the top!

There’s a good bit of green space too and you will be happy to know – A TON OF MR. GRAY GUYS. (Gray squirrels, duh.) I kept calling out, “Hi Mr. Gray Guy! I love you!” every 10 seconds much to Chooch’s delight.

Then it was lunch time! We walked to a nearby food hall called Franklin Table or something which appeared to be more on the UPenn campus (Drexel and UPenn butt up against each other, much like two similar colleges in Chooch’s hometown – Pitt and CMU. I hadn’t even realized that parallel until my friend Lori pointed it out and I was like, “…..oh!). I wanted to go here because Goldie, a vegan joint known for their tahini shakes. I’ve been following them for years on Instagram and now it was finally time!

I got the OG flavor and can confirm that it was worth the wait. I want to have one every time I visit Chooch now. I got some rice paper burrito thing with tofu at a neighboring counter (so did Chooch) and I liked it but it was too big and also a pain in the ass to eat. So I traded with Henry and gave him my remaining half for his Goldie’s falafel plate. Also – their pita was SO GOOD AND WARM AND FLUFFY!

Henry and Chooch both got drinks from a boba place there too. Between all these nearby vegan options and the dining hall(s) at Drexel, Chooch better never complain about being hungry because I felt extremely well-fed!

This was a street behind the Franklin food thingie – it’s so cute!

Then we took Septa (I hate that name so much) to the H-Mart in Upper Darby which was definitely not the best H-Mart I’ve ever been to, that’s for sure. I’m pretty sure this isn’t the best one in Philly but it was the most convenient one for us to get to at that time. Chooch picked up some snacks and treats for the room and I got myself a bag of those adorable salt bread snacks that I bought in Seoul and somehow spent a whole week eating in the hotel room:

Um, it did not take me a week to eat the whole bag this time, though.

Definitely NOT the face of someone who will miss their mother snapping photos of them doing ordinary things like waiting for the subway. BUT MAYBE HE WILL.

Then we came back to University City and explored some more, got some free shirts, he ran from table to table in the welcome center, making connections, signing up for things, getting the scoop on upcoming events. It was fun to hang back and watch him go off. I am certain that he was made for the college life.

I dunno what was going on here, probably just me being excited that Chooch has a dorm room.

View from his window!

I made him change into his Drexel shirt LOL. What – other people were also wearing theirs?!

AND THEN I FINALLY GOT TO TAKE A BETTER PICTURE OF HIM WITH THE DRAGON! THE PICTURE I HAD BEEN HOPING FOR ALL WEEKEND!

I’d like to point out that some of the RAs commented on my hamburger purse :) Hopefully they will recognize Chooch going forward as “that kid with the cool mom who we originally thought was also a student because she was so YOUNG AND COOL LOOKING.”

Hahaha. Ugh.

We walked around campus a bit before leaving because Chooch wanted to see the Computer Science building. On the way there, we saw a young Asian couple arguing in the same way couples in Korea argue – usually they will stand and look at each other in anger without really speaking and something akin to that was happening here until the girl stormed off ahead of him and at that point I was like, “Aw, that looks like me and Henry.”

Anyway, as soon as we came out of the computer science building, the guy-part of the couple came RUNNING past us, but his girlfriend was no longer with him! There is a Kung Fu Tea on the block, and two people came running to the door to watch this, like they recognized him, and I deduced that perhaps Kung Fu Tea was the origin of the fight??

I guess you had to be there, but we were pretty invested. I wonder if they are still fighting.

A NEON MUSEUM is also attached to the computer science building!!

Um…then we walked and got coffee at Madis which we attempted to go to last April but it was PACKED because there was also a street fair happening that day and everyone was out and about. It wasn’t that much less crowded this time either, I will tell you that much. I dunno, it was ok. But I ordered poorly – I felt rushed and just got a plain iced latte instead of something fun because I couldn’t see the menu.

This was moments before we finally cut the cord and left OUR BABY IN PHILLY. Henry per usual took the worst picture of me but whatever, at least I have it. Then Henry went back inside to pee and while he was in there, Chooch was like, “Well, I guess I’m going back to my room now” and I said, “You’re not going to say goodbye to your dad?”

“I mean…if I see him in there, I will.”

W-O-W lol.

I was sitting on the wall watching, and right when Chooch got to the door, Henry started to come out, and what happened next will be seared into my memory forever.

HENRY SHOOK HIS HAND.

Chooch’s face scrunched up in confusion. Then they were both laughing so hard that their faces were red. I think they also attempted to hug but that was thwarted by both of them being awkward and then they gave up and went their separate ways. I was fucking dying, like literally almost pissed my pants, watching this unfold and by the time Henry joined me, I could barely breathe.

“WTF WAS THAT?” I wheezed. “You shook his hand??”

“Well, he was turned at a weird angle and I couldn’t hug him, I don’t know!” Henry laughed.

I guess Henry also thought that Chooch was on his way inside to find him to say goodbye and I said, “Oh, no. He had every intention on just going straight to his room. He said if he ran into you, fine.”

“Wow,” Henry muttered.

Overall, I feel OK about this. I haven’t had any soul-crushing cry seshes since we’ve been home (I did have a few last spring though – this whole-ass process has been stressful AF, I am not even being overly dramatic here) and I think right now, I am feeling really excited for him and also a sense of FOMO because I didn’t go to college right after high school and I never really regretted it but I think I would have been SO FUCKING GOOD AT IT. I mean, the social part. I was a real character back then, had no fear, no filter, was loud and proud. Basically, who my therapist is helping me find again. :)

I’m really stoked to get to see more of Philly and find places that can be my “spot” when I visit. I definitely want to try more matcha places! He is apparently going to take us to Reading Terminal Market on Sunday because of all of the times we have been in Philly, we have not once been there and he just went yesterday with a group and sent me pictures.

“Don’t worry, they have donuts too,” he said, and I was like, “WOW, you make me sound like a cop.”

I had last Wednesday off of work, in effort to make extra SUMMER MEMORIES with My Son, Soon Off to College. I had suggested going to Laurel Caverns, and a quick glance at This Blog told me we hadn’t been there since 2017!! Chooch originally said sure, because he likes that there is a mini golf course there. But then I went to their website and saw that mini golf is NOW DEFUNCT. I told him and he was all harumphing about it or whatever, but I didn’t think that this changed our course. So, I proceeded to wake him up the next morning, saying that I wanted to go soon and he was like BUT THERE IS NO MINI GOLF so me being me, I threw a hissy fit and said, “FINE. WE’LL DO NOTHING TODAY THEN. I AM SO GLAD I TOOK THE DAY OFF.”

Who is the kid in this sitch, though, for real.

Anyway, he came downstairs after a bit, all showered and ready to go.

“WHERE ARE YOU GOING?” I spat, and he calmly said, “To Laurel Caverns.”

I tried to keep up my Mommy Scorned demeanor, but really I was like, “Yay!” and then he even drove too!

It takes about 45 minutes to get there, maybe an hour, who can be sure. We chatted the whole time BECAUSE WE ARE BEST FRIENDS.

(I hope he sees this the next time he comes here to fulfill another of my blog design wish list items.)

I had to pee immediately upon arriving and am happy to report that the bathrooms still appear to be the same as they were when I first started coming here in the 80s with the Girl Scouts.

A tour was leaving just as I was buying our tickets so we made it JUST IN TIME. Our guide was a young man named DANIEL and he was absolutely precious. ACTUALLY, THIS IS HIM:

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I LAUGHED HEARTILY AT ALL OF HIS DAD JOKES. Chooch did not.

Our group wasn’t very big, being a weekday afternoon. Just us and maybe 3 other families plus an older couple.

Somehow the tour always feels never-the-same to me. But this time it was even more different because the guided tour was drastically truncated and then an optional self-guided tour was available at the end. I asked the lady at the ticket counter if this was a new thing and she goes, “Oh! No, not really,” in a tone that made me feel like A FOOL for asking. But then she said, “We started doing it about two years ago after the pandemic.”

OK WELL THAT’S KIND OF RECENT THOUGH??

I can’t imagine back in the day, or in this day even, being like, “Oh cool a hole in the earth, let’s slip inside and see what’s up.”

The guided portion with DANIEL was over in a blink, and of course we opted for the self-guided portion afterward, which was billed as an additional 45-60 MINUTES and came with all kinds of caveats about STEEP GRADES and MYRIAD STEPS or whatever, but I feel like it only took us about 20 minutes to get through it?!

I was going to try and convince you that Chooch was in the middle of a cave-dweller conjuring here but I think he was actually just catching water drops on his hand.

I didn’t realize until later that night at home that what I assumed was a brochure we were handed with our tickets was actually a map for the self-guided tour which would have explained things we were looking at. Oh well.

We did see Calico Falls though! Because there was a sign with an arrow, so…

SPARKLY.

And then we had to climb up a shit ton of steps that even had me a little winded by the end and I am in pretty good step-climbing shape. JUST SO YOU KNOW.

We couldn’t leave without perusing the gift shop and then filling out the COMMENT CARD, but first we:

1. needed a pen;
2. needed confirmation of our guide’s name

Chooch handled both of these because I’m convinced that saying, “Excuse me?” in a fake polite voice is his most favorite past time. The lady who gave us our tickets handled these requests and probably thought we were so needy. I couldn’t really get a good feel for her but I thought perhaps she was annoyed by us.

Then we went outside to the deck because that is a must-do at Laurel Caverns!

Chooch was like, “Seriously!? You don’t have to pay for these in Korea!” Yeah, because Korea is King. Korea wants people to see beautiful nature for free.

Fun fact, I won a Cultural Arts medal in elementary school by submitting a photograph I took from this summit. WOW, I AM SO COOL I KNOW.

Fun fact #2, I have a Cultural Arts medal hanging in my kitchen BUT IT’S FROM A LATER YEAR, FOR A DIFFERENT VISUAL ARTS SUBMISSION. All I did was win back then, she said as she effortlessly cracks her knuckles.

Before leaving, we stopped to mourn the area where the mini golf course used to be. It’s now something called THE GROTTOES and all we knew was that it was something for kids. Chooch was like, “No, I can’t leave until I know exactly what this is” so he went back to the gift shop counter where several of the ladies were congregated and hit them with another, “Excuse me?”

One of the women explained that it’s a scavenger hunt “for children.” And we were like, ‘Oh, OK” and we must have come across as crestfallen because the lady who I wasn’t sure hated us or not cut in to say, “I’ll sell you one ticket and you both can go in, if you want.”

Chooch and I looked at each other and immediately said, “OK!” We both identify as children, after all.

And then she even discounted that one ticket on top of it!! Suddenly this lady loved us for some reason. I mean, we ARE pretty adorable. Then as she was getting the clipboard with the scavenger items (animals that we would find painted on the walls) and lanterns, she explained to us that the owner had built the largest man-made caverns in the country to house the mini golf course. It’s made from cement, but actual stalactites had begun to form but over the years, people kept damaging it and the owner got pissed and shut it down in 2019 – so, two years after we were last there. And now it’s reopened as this adorable activity for little kids!

(And me and Chooch!)

There were 10 or 12 animals on the list, and as the lady opened the door for us, she goes, “I think the bat is the hardest to find –  I can give you a hint if you want” but we yelled NO because we are so competitive and needed to do this with no help.

To say that we took this extremely seriously, the outcome of which we would carry with us for the rest of our lives, was an understatement. We took to that darkened, man-made ex-mini golf cave by storm, holding our lanterns to the ceiling like we were announcing the arrival of the Red Coats, diligently checking off animal after animal, even writing in some that weren’t on the list (“They must be trying to trick us,” Chooch scoffed. As if.)

But then, we had made it all the way to the exit and one animal remained. “How did we miss this!?” Chooch cried. “We have to go back and look again, I need 100% completion.”

So, we began to backtrack. By this point, one lone family had also entered the Grottoes – a couple with their young son (maybe 5?) and a younger baby carried on the dad’s back in some baby hiking apparatus. They were also on the tour with us and were very mild, so I was not mad about their arrival. Chooch ran up ahead and yelled across the Grottoes to them (there were some parts that were more open and less maze-like than others so you could see other areas where you had already been), “Have you seen a monkey yet?”

They checked their paper and then the mom called back, “No, no monkey yet!” and then the little kid started repeating, “Monkey? Monkey?”

“Wait — we’re looking for a monkey? Why did I think we were looking for a dog??” I asked Chooch, who probably said, “Because you’re stupid” or something equally as disparaging because this is how I taught him to show love.

Anyway, now we had this family fixated on the monkey and we ALL ended up retracing our steps all the way back to the beginning (oh, we did find the bat btw and it was sort of tricky but we wouldn’t have needed a clue!!) until finally we conceded that the monkey just didn’t exist.

“Maybe they put that on here on purpose so if people came out with it checked, Laurel Caverns will know they’re lying,” Chooch said an approximation of this (now that he’s been working on fixing my blog, he has been criticizing my blog posts and accusing me of PUTTING WORDS IN PEOPLES MOUTHS, etc etc and I am like OK, CREATIVE LICENSE and also I’m sorry that I don’t walk around with a voice recorder to assure 100% accuracy BUT I CAN CERTAINING START DOING SO, CHOOCH).

We left the Grottoes and the ladies were like DID YOU HAVE FUN? DID YOU FIND EVERYTHING? and we were like YES BUT WHERE IS THE MONKEY?? and the lady who sold us the ticket was like “It should be there?” and the other lady was like, at the same time, “Oh, she* has been repainting all the animals and hasn’t gotten to the monkey yet – it’s painted over.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

*I dunno who SHE is but maybe SHE could have crossed MONKEY off the list for the time being?!

So, we spent literally an hour in these darkened recesses looking for something that didn’t exist. But did we have fun? Fuck yes.

But then, the lady who sold us the ticket and apparently loved us was like, “COME ON I’LL SHOW YOU WHERE THE MONKEY SHOULD BE AND YOU CAN SHOW ME THE EXTRA ANIMALS TOO BECAUSE I HAVEN’T SEEN THOSE YET!” so we had to walk through A THIRD TIME which is so fucking hilarious to me and kind of what Chooch deserved since he was being so whiny about the mini golf course not being there anymore. That was A LOT of quality time at the mini golf gravesite.

Anyway, she showed us the little nook where the monkey will eventually be resurrected and Chooch was so pissed. “I KNEW something should have been in this room!” he cried. Then we had to walk around trying to find all the little mice and snakes to show her and she was actually so giddy about discovering these new little paintings, so it was kind of cute.

After we said goodbye to our gift shop friends, we ran into the Grottoes family over by the restrooms and I told them that the monkey has been painted over. The dad was, “I KNEW IT!!” and then we accidentally walked out to the parking lot with them while they were talking about where they were going to get lunch and I never heard what they decided on, so I was nervous that we were going to end up at the same place because these are the neurotic social worries I have.

Chooch made me get out of the car and take this picture. He is obsessed with Kirby, as you will note by his Kirby hoodie that he brought after I yelled at him to bring a hoodie because it would be FREEZING IN THE CAVERN.

We ended up stopping at ROY’S PUB in Uniontown for lunch. Funny how when Henry the Antagonizer isn’t with us, we manage to find somewhere to eat almost instantly with no fights. Hmmm. Could Henry be what you might call THE CATALYST?

It’s was FRED’S birthday and I will tell you how we know this: one of the servers went out to the parking lot and the came hoofing it back in, wheezing, “FRED’S HERE!” And then when this old man entered, everyone was like “FRED!” and I was afraid they were also going to break out into “For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow” which I have never actually in real life but feel like I would melt from secondhand embarrassment if so, but that did not happen. Instead, they directed him to sit at the bar stool with the Birthday….Banner? Cape? slung over the back, and then later they brought a cupcake out of the kitchen and serenaded him.

That part was ok, though. I felt like we should have sung along too but instead we just there, full-mastication mode, being creepy City Folk Voyeurs to this quaint villager celebration.

We contemplated getting an appetizer called the WAGON WHEEL but after the server described it as a Mexican thing having a “pork rind texture,”  I was convinced it was meat-tainted even though Chooch kept saying, “She just said pork rind TEXTURE and that’s made with WHEAT” and then he tried googling it but only dessert-things were coming up.

The grilled cheese was good but made with miniature bread. The fries were also good. Our lunch came to $18 and it was the cheapest lunch we’ve had in a very long time, which is sad. #EconomyThings

Roy’s hot water isn’t just regular hot, it’s very hot. That’s Roy’s for you.

Anyway, what a nice and memorable day spent with my kid who almost treats me like a real person now! 18 is a cool age.

Hi. I remembered to use the “good” camera at one point during our weekend trip and here are some of the pictures I took that came out OK despite my poor eyesight. These are from Rockland Harbor and the iconic Portland Head Light. Of course, I have a million more photos from these places but they’re iPhone photos and will be posted later with like, more words and stuff.

I almost died climbing down here but I liked this spot a lot. And it was surprisingly not very crowded at sunset!

We went to three lighthouses on this day – am I now a lighthouse thoosie!?

Last Saturday, we officially celebrated Chooch’s high school graduation with friends and family. It was a really nice day. It was HOT (around 90 degrees but not all that bad under the shelter, thankfully). Shout out to Corey for meeting us there several hours before the party started to help set up, and for leaving before the party started to get the cake and some balloons. It was such a hectic morning.

I don’t have many words to say about it because I feel like I mostly floated around in a fugue state, but I do have pictures and will also say that being around my friends—especially so many that I haven’t seen in too long—was like, what were those books called? CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP FOR THE SOUL, lol. OMG I hate myself.

We had this cardboard cutout made and Chooch was not stoked on it but Core certainly was!

Get in the zone, photo zone.

The cake was one of the few things I was able to cross off the list myself, although it took me approx. 9 tries to actually get it ordered because I kept spacing out every time or being paralyzed by indecisiveness. But I finally did it. Normally I would get almond cake because all of my events are as important as weddings I guess, but one of Chooch’s friends has a tree nut allergy so we opted for half white / half chocolate. I was ranting about this during the party, and when I mockingly said, “tree nut allergy,” my friend Chris (of Chronica fame) said, “Oh, I have that now too” so then I felt like a dummy asshole girl.

But yo, the picture lol. Bethel Bakery called me and said, “Just so you know, the picture is a little blurry” and I said, “Oh that’s OK. It’s a screenshot from a video, it’s just a joke” and they were like, “Oh OK haha” with slight confusion. C’mon BB, ya gotta have a file for me by now. I can’t remember the last time I would have ordered a normal cake from them. The last one was Lauren’s goodbye cake and there were questions when I went to pick it up, lol.

Guests

• Corey
• Val
• Ryan
• My dad
• Megan & Eric
• Kari & Katelynn
• Kara
• Christy, Claire, Julia
• Amber
• Lauren
• Amy & Dick
• Chris & Monica
• Debby & Marlene
• Pam
• Janna
• Judy
• Isai
• Graehm
• Daniel C
• Daniel K
• Ben
• Roman
• Simon
• Adele
• Evan
• Aaliyah (not the ghost of the singer)

Apparently, there was a snafu with USPS not delivering some of the invitations, which is what I get for trying to be old-school and formal by snail-mailing them, but whatever. I’m over it.

Besides the cake, putting together the photo collages was the only other thing I could really assist with. I am so devastated that I lacked the mental wherewithal to go all-in like I typically would for a party. I love throwing parties. I love planning parties. But I am lucky I was able to uncoil myself from the fetal position long enough to do enough this. 

Marcy, Speck and Bambi all made cameos here. </3

We made these too for photo props (we = Henry, although I did get all of the pictures picked out before Drew died and my world ended, so that was something).

Corey has been taking this almost as hard as me. At one point, he stood next to me, looked over at Chooch who was seated at a table with his friends, and said, “I’m just so proud of him. He turned into such a nice young man!” and I was like, “OMG calm down.”

Lol.

This is the first and only photo of all 4 sibs! Hopefully there are more (fun, celebratory – gotta be careful with my wording here because THE UNIVERSE IS CRUEL) opportunities in the future photo ops.

This looks like the saddest party but it was before it really got going. (I mean, we didn’t necessarily get crunk or anything but it did get a bit more lively. It did kind of suck because of a lot of the regulars weren’t able to make it due to fucking busy summer social calendars which is a reminder of why I always had the pie parties in the fall. We really missed Nate, Wonka/Jess, Wendy, Lori, Margie and Sandy, for sure.)

No we will look at pictures that I forced people to pose for:

The Castle Blood connection <3

I have a knack for taking stealth-mode pictures, catching everyone off guard and making it look like a somber event. To be fair though, my mom is currently going through a legal battle with some psycho who bought property next to hers and my dad is partially responsible for the issue in question so I’m sure there was a lot of talk about that. Nnnngggh.

That is for sure what’s happening here.

These three helped put some pieces of my heart back in place that day and I am so thankful for that. It has been so hard and they get it.

Eric writing a list of places for Chooch to get a cheese steak when he moves to Philly even though Megan said, “Eric, he doesn’t eat meat” lol. His commitment to the cause was appreciated though!

Who would have thought that last August when we met Pam on the first night of the Coaster Crew Norden Adventure, that she’d be living in Brookline and attending Chooch’s grad party a year later? Life is wild.

<3 these two. Their lives have been so hectic and busy and the fact that they still made time to come out to the park for this was not lost on me. Truly appreciate them!

OMG I haven’t seen Christy’s kids in forever.

And btw, Christy is my oldest friend from childhood and also Chooch’s godmother <3. (His godfather couldn’t be bothered to RSVP – and I emailed the invitation to him so can’t blame that one on the USPS.)

Chronica ALWAYS shows up for the assignment.

Chooch with his first true love, Kara lol.

OMG the first Kelly family photo in decades! I already posted about this.

I was like, “The kids will love the photo zone” but then I had to force them to stand there. You can see how thrilled some of them are, lol. Some of the kids had already left before I had a chance to get them, too.

BIG SMILES, BIG SMILES.

Holy shit you guys, the way I am so relieved that this party happened, people showed up, Chooch had fun, I managed to not cry…I was so worthless with most of the preparation. Thank god for Henry, who quietly made 75% of the food (my mom also made food!!) and 75% of the props/decorations/collages. I did get my shit together a bit at the end and managed to not only send some additional photos to the printer, but also found the will to sit here and tape the pictures onto the boards.

I have been so stressed. So depressed. My mom told me to cancel/postpone the party but I couldn’t do that to Chooch. And it helped to be around friends and family.

Here’s to Drexel in the fall, adjusting to that empty nest life, rolling with the changes. I can do this. Right?

Oh shit, this has to be one of my favorite Chooch-eras of all time. He rocked that purple hair, then pink, then pink and blue, then just straight-up bleached for a good year, year and a half. The annoying part is that at the time, other kids in his school weren’t dying their hair yet, going to Warped Tour, etc. so he got bullied that year and it was really fucked up. OK, I’m getting all pissed off again, nearly 10 years later, and that wasn’t the intention of this blast from the past!

I definitely want to include at least one of these at his graduation party, but I know he’ll be pissed, haha.

OK, enjoy the pictures and whatever words I wrote back then (I didn’t look at that part).

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Incredibly, Chooch agreed to an impromptu photo shoot today when I came home from work and didn’t even ask for money or Skylanders in return. And I know exactly why.

Chooch has a “girlfriend” apparently. She’s someone from his class and before school ended, they exchanged Instagram names. So now he’s all about pictures of himself, so that he can post them and then tag her to see if she’ll say anything. Usually it’s things like, “You’re weird.”

So he was like, “Yeah let’s do this thang.”

His go-to pose.

His hair combined with his loud mouth make it easy to keep tabs on him when he’s out and about.

Obligatory Flock of Seagulls shot.

In other news, taking in-focus photos is becoming increasingly harder for me to accomplish because my eyesight is getting so horrible but I still haven’t made an appointment to get them checked because I LIVE DANGEROUSLY. Also because I constantly forget to do adult things.

Chooch went out with his friends yesterday and next thing I knew, he was texting me pictures of the guts of a dilapidated church. I was like, “Omg this is so cool! Let’s go back and do a photoshoot there, I’ll pay you!” But then I found out it’s in a…not good area and also I’d have to CLIMB into it, so, that’s a no for me, Nigel.

He sent me all the pictures he took and some of them are really quite striking so I wanted to post them here because you can bet I will never climb through a window of a broke-down church in East Liberty to get my own shots. I mean, I might end up getting other kinds of shots, if you know what I mean. o.O

Free ur self / Love ur self.

Chooch could have played Kitty Cat Play Time, the original piece he wrote with his piano teacher, Cheryl. I bet it would have sounded extra haunting.

I didn’t see all of the TREACHEROUS photos until after he was home, THANK GOD because these gave me jello legs and I am not thrilled that he was trouncing around on the precipice of danger.

This sounds like the name of a stupid story I would have written for Blogathon.

There’s a video of him and his friends walking up those steps and standing on this ROTTED WOOD GLASS-STREWN FLOOR so I’m realllly not a happy mommy about that. But this photo is cool.

This made me think back to the time I did an overnight investigation with a local ghost hunting group at an abandoned elementary school in South Park and saw graffiti left behind by Blake and his friends, lol.

I really liked this shot but I’m not stoked thinking about where exactly he was when he took it. THE ROOF?!

THAT’S HOW THEY GOT INSIDE NO THANK Q.

Well, that’s all for me, the lady who is now living vicariously through her 18-year-old kid because she has nothing great going on in her own life currently, boo hoo.

Hello from the tail end of one of the longest 4-day work weeks I think I have ever experienced. How is that possible?! Anyway, I was going to do a book recap today but it’s 95000 degrees in my house (at several points today you could have found me sitting at the computer with an ice cube on my head – and down my shirt – so that should be all you need to know about how I’m dealing in a heatwave with no A/C) and also I have been doing nothing watching this video on repeat much to Chooch’s chagrin because IT’S FROM 4 YEARS AGO AND HIS LOSER MOM ONLY JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT IT! God, sorry I exist! I shared it to some people at work and only ONE of them remembered it from FOUR YEARS AGO so maybe it wasn’t viral in this region!! At one point, Chooch yelled from the top of the steps, “Oh my GOD, are you watching that AGAIN??” And then last night, he was putting something on Netflix so, from the dining room, I changed it to this YouTube video and he was getting so perplexed as to why the TV was changing back over to YouTube. He kept going back to Netflix and I would just do it again, with quiet tears of laughter streaming down my face and mixing with the SWEAT THAT HAD ACCUMULATED THERE FROM DOING NOTHING OTHER THAN JUST BEING. “Just let it go and see what it’s trying to do,” Henry said calmly, surely because he knew it was me – Chooch didn’t because he is goddamn dense. So, Chooch let the TV do its thing and when this video started to play, he straight up lost his mind, LOL. This song haunts him now. I made Henry reset Alexa so now when I saw ALEXA LIVING ROOM LIGHT ON this song plays (it’s on Spotify thank god!!!).

I need to also make it my ring tone somehow.

If someone can do that for me, thsnks.

Anyway, here I was trying to avoid sitting here with a hot laptop sitting on my sweat-sticky thighs, but then this song hypnotized me into writing practically an entire blog post anyway when really I came here to post another VINTAGE CHOOCH POST, this one is from December 2013.

********************************************************

This last week has been TRYING as far as parenting goes. I definitely feel like I’ve been screaming at Chooch more than anything else, because he is so fucking bull-headed (i.e. SO UNLIKE ME). The whole “There goes another Christmas present!

” tactic totally doesn’t work anymore, by the way. I guess I’m going to have to swap out “Santa” for “Satan.”

“SATAN’S WATCHING YOU, YOU LITTLE ASSHOLE!”

And he definitely still believes in ghosts, so I can always go that route too.

Mornings and late evenings are especially bad. Sometimes he wakes up as Contrary Chooch and will battle me on EVERY LITTLE DETAIL down to the SOCKS I laid out for him to wear. My response is usually, “YOU ARE FUCKING 7 YEARS OLD STFU AND GET DRESSED.” Sometimes I try to kill him with kindness or make jokes, but in the end, I usually end up losing my temper and yelling.

I hate power-struggles. I HATE PARENTING!

Last Wednesday night, I was walking home from CVS and he was outside waiting for me. I KNEW he was going to try to bombard me with snowballs so I sternly said, “Do NOT throw snowballs—the snow is too icy!” But that son of a bitch whaled one right at my fucking face and it slammed hard into my temple. I instantly started to cry because that HURT, OK?

And once Chooch saw that I was straight sobbing (I’m pretty good at embellishing), he got scared. He knew he done fucked up, but god forbid he should apologize. Instead, he starts making excuses and laughing nervously, and by the time we fought each other to storm through the front door, we were both SCREAMING hysterically and Henry came out of the kitchen like, “WTF?”

I stood in the middle of the living room screaming, “I THINK I’M LOSING MY EYESIGHT AND HE DOESN’T CARRRRRRREEEE!!!” and Chooch is yelling, “SHE HATES ME!!!!!!” simultaneously and the neighbors probably have their fingers poised to dial that last 1 in 9-1-1.

It’s been that kind of week.

But then there are really sweet moments, too. And wine. And those are the things that keep me from getting that artists loft that I keep dreaming about. Like the one BO BRADY had in the 80s on Days of Our Lives. But seriously, how great would that be? I’d fill it with old mannequins and pretend like they were my friends. :(

Oh, right. Sweet moments. Like last night when Chooch was talking about the Santa Shop that’s happening this week at school. He wants to get something for our friend Andrea, but he became very perplexed because “it’s not like they’re going to have any death there.” Henry and I started cracking up but Chooch was very serious. He should write a letter to the paper about how the Santa Shop discriminates against people who collect dead things in jars.

Unless one of us kills the other before then, Chooch and I are going to see Never Shout Never next Wednesday in Cleveland. Henry isn’t sure if he can go because his job is stupid and I am PANICKING about this. Chooch and I haven’t gone further than like, 50 miles away without Henry. And that’s probably a gross exaggeration. Maybe closer to 25 miles? Sometimes it’s just really hard for me to get into Responsible Parent Mode. I like it better when Henry can just deal with that and I can skip around being flighty and immature. Because that’s my true nature.

If you live in Cleveland and see two dummies flailing about in Lake Erie, send the Coast Guard because I clearly drove off the map.

(PLEASE DO YOUR RELIGIOUS SPELLS SO THAT HENRY IS ABLE TO GO WITH US, OMG.)

Look, no one wants to put their kids on blast, but it is important for me to write about the lows and not only the highs. Because having shit like this to look back on makes me appreciate the highs that much more. This is real life.

We argued the whole time we were in the cemetery on Sunday. But then by that night, we were able to co-exist peacefully on the couch and watch the mid-season finale of The Walking Dead together. (OMFG THAT SHOW IS KILLING ME.) And then the next morning, we were walking to school behind our Morning Nemesis and she was SCREAMING at her kid for pretty much no reason and that kind of made me take a step back and appreciate that at least Chooch and I can walk to school together without putting our disputes on display. That’s a small victory, right?

So no, things aren’t perfect around here. But I guess they’re not really THAT bad either. And when I do start to lose the will to parent, I just go back and look at pictures of Chooch being, well, Chooch. And then it’s not so bad.

(That fucking snowball did really hurt though!!)

I swore I wouldn’t be dramatic about this. But the day has come. MY BABY’S LAST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL. I was telling some friends today at work that it’s such a bizarre emotion – crippling depression, a sudden awareness of TIME, mortality panic, and also giddy excitement to live vicariously through this next chapter of his life. He seems excited and has been getting shit done and planned, and that’s helping me, you know?

I haven’t mentioned this publicly (lol like I’m a FIGURE or something) but he, out of left field, has chosen Drexel after all. We REALLY thought it was going to be Pitt, but he liked what he saw and heard at Drexel, leaving Pgh is appealing to him, and honestly I think he is just ready for the next challenge.

He has been the easiest kid to parent (OK, there were moments, come on now, come on) but overall – we got lucky. He is self-motivated, scarily clever (that and “funniest kid in the school” was the theme of his yearbook messages), effortlessly smart, independent, has a huge hunger for travel and exploration – he is the greatest and best thing, person, accomplishment – everything!! – in my life. I wouldn’t change a thing. (Eh…maybe found a better place to live while he was growing up but what can you do.)

I love this kid, man! I’m so proud of him. And I love how much my friends love him too. It speaks volumes about his character. He has always been such a little adult!

OK, ugh. Enough. I’m sure tomorrow’s post (COMMENCEMENTS) will be even more sappy so I’m just going to end this with pictures from his first day of preschool, which apparently I should have posted on Instagram with the ones from today, according to my social media manager Henry (seriously, since when does he care?!) so I’ll just post them here in hopes of gaining back some maternal points.

OK ONE MORE THING I MISS THE DAYS OF WALKING HIM TO SCHOOL WHEN HE WAS A LITTLE BOY, THERE I’M DONE NOW. OFFICIALLY CRYING, HAPPY???

We all knew this day would come eventually. Chooch (né Riley) turned 18 today. It’s already been a really emotional year with college preparations and I have had several big cries over that, but this morning I woke up to Alan Parsons Project “Games People Play” and actually listened to the lyrics for the first time ever and then lost my ever-loving mind.

THIS PART???

Where do we go from here
Now that all of the children have grown up?
And how do we spend our time
Knowing nobody gives us a damn?

Ooof. Not what I wanted to hear first thing this morning!!

It’s been so much fun being his mom (I mean I know I’ll still BE HIS MOM after today but you know what I mean) and I can’t believe that the college years are about to start and he won’t BE HERE. Who will make fun of Henry with me? Henry?!

I really couldn’t be any happier with the way Chooch turned out. Raising him was pretty easy and extremely fun. My travel buddy! My roller coaster partner! My haunted house companion! I think the coolest part about him is that he grew up with my friends as his friends. He’s always been a part of the inside jokes, always been taken seriously, always had adults caring about what he had to say. So thank you to all of my friends – old, new, present, former – who helped us get him to where he is today as a person, because I think he turned out pretty freaking excellent!

Anyway, I forgot that last November, I took some photos of him that were going to be contenders for “Senior Portraits” but I had to let him drive the car through the cemetery as a bribe ugh.

You will note that plenty of these are blurry because MY FUCKING EYES ARE TRASH OK? I legit cannot tell what I’m doing behind the lens anymore.

I’m pretty sure he was making fun of me here.

Wrinkled shirt? Of fucking course!

My brother Corey was texting me today and saying that he was actually tearing up thinking about how he turned into such a solid kid with his head straight on his shoulders, and that he’s so proud. Dude you guys. Just, dude. That meant so much. I love the relationship that Corey and Chooch have!

I don’t know what to “get” him anymore, so we took him to Hershey Park (um, that was also mostly for me because I wanted to ride Wildcat’s Revenge and have fun after serious college stuff) and we’re taking him and some friends to Cedar Point in a few weeks too because what do you get him?! He literally doesn’t “want” anything (except money lol). I did send him the Rock the Vote website though so he can register to vote!

18. Holy fucking shit. When I was 18, I was a goddamn mess. Fresh off the heels of dropping out of high school, dating a psychopathic loser, basically staying in my room constantly to avoid getting  heckled by family members for being “white trash.” It was a really bad time and I had no support system, but I have given Chooch all of things I desperately needed from my parents and didn’t get, and look at what happens when parents do their part. Look at what happens when a kid is loved and included and listened to it. He turns into this. And I am so proud.

And also so fucking depressed.

Chooch keeps arguing that no one in his class has gotten proper senior portraits taken and even if that’s true (doubtful), I was not letting him get out of this. It’s MOMMY’S LAST CHANCE to photograph her surly son, you know? Let me have this.

Anyway, I wanted to get some nice pictures of him while we were in Korea because of the aesthetics of course, but also because it’s meaningful. I haven’t decided which ones to get printed for friends and family yet, but here are the contenders!

We took these at one of the smaller palaces, RIGHT when it opened to avoid the surge of tourists. However, we had to contend with a throng of older Asian gentlemen who were lining up at the gates with their big-ass paparazzi camera equipment. Was there going to be a celebrity appearance at the Changgyeonggung Palace? NOPE, just spring blossoms. You guys, the older population go NUTS over cherry blossoms, magnolia blossoms, any type of colorful blossom in March is subject to exploitation. And when I say they are packing $$$$$ lenses, I mean it. It’s like TMZ-levels of photography.

These first three photos were taken on the walk to the palace:

I had to take this one extremely fast because the pap were gaining on us.

If we’re Instagram friends, you might have seen that Chooch actually let us buy him a jacket while we were there! NOT because he was cold, don’t even think that. But we wandered into a vintage shop in Insadong and the sweetest halmeoni helped Chooch decided on a jacket. She even gave my arm a loving squeeze at one point and said we were a pretty family and gave us candy and called me umma – this was the best trip to Korea yet. I felt like I belonged there this time more than ever, like what even was my past life because I am sure it involved Korea somehow.

It’s the only explanation.

This palace was just as beautiful as the other more “popular” ones. My tip to you if you ever go to Korea, if you want great pictures without a million tourists in hanbok milling about in the background, come to this one when it opens at 9 and enjoy the serenity and peacefulness. (We were there in March so this might be just as nuts in the summer as the other main palaces, so don’t come for me!)

Obviously this isn’t a contender for senior portrait prints, but I liked the composition of this one!

Celebrity blossoms.

I like this one because you can see the city and a glimpse of Namsan Tower behind his head. It’s nuts how much ancient history is interspersed with the modern city. Seoul is amazing.

Also! We finally saw our first  (AND ONLY) squirrel in Korea here in this palace! Chooch took this photo for me and when one of the old guy photogs saw Chooch pointing the SLR at a tree, he came scurrying over not wanting to miss a bloom I guess. But then when he saw the subject matter was a squirrel, he still seemed into it so he joined Chooch and started snapping away, as well. It was kind of adorable.

I posted a picture of the squirrel on Instagram using what I thought was the Korean word for squirrel, but Jiyong saw it and corrected me via Kakao Talk because the word I used was actually for chipmunk! Fuck you, Google Translate! Jiyong said that actually, most Koreans don’t even know the word for squirrel and just default to chipmunk and that there are more squirrels in the US than in Korea, apparently! What a great morning and learning experience.

I have more non-Chooch pictures from that day so we will revisit with more words (yay for you) at some point. Wow, look forward to that!

Starring: Chooch, his Pikachu wallet, and PNC debit card.

I can’t really knock Chooch too much for this considering I have “lost” my wallet twice in recent years and BOTH TIMES Henry found it in the garbage. But still, in spite of his big math brain, Chooch is the biggest moron when it comes to life stuff. Especially when the life stuff involves him keeping tabs on important items, like house keys and wallets.

He “loses” his wallet A LOT. Most of the time, I will go into his room and find it immediately. (“But I swear I looked there!”) Or he will find it in the pocket of a backpack he forgot he recently used. But then there are times when he genuinely does lose it outside of the house, like the time he texted me from school and was all, “I had it this morning because I used it at the T!” so I walked to the T platform (luckily, this wasn’t pre-pandemic so I was working from home) and found it laying on the platform by the bench he was presumably sitting on. A good hour had gone by since he realized he lost it so that was some Big Luck.

OK, that’s just one example of Chooch’s butterfingers when it comes to his wallet. Now on to the latest series of wallet events starting in December. It was right before Chingumas. Henry and I had picked him up from work and right when we were nearly home, he was like, “I can’t find my wallet.” They dropped me off and drove back to Chipotle, but alas, no wallet. He apparently even checked the sidewalk where he gets off the bus and I just laughed without mirth because he works in the Strip District and I can’t imagine anyone down there finding a wallet and doing the right thing.

Henry kept telling him to call the bus people (I don’t know what it is called) to see if anyone turned it into lost and found, but Chooch was being an idiot and never did, so he had to cancel his debit card and get a new one. Luckily, he didn’t have any money in his wallet and everything was stuff that was about to expire anyway (park memberships). But he had to get a new school ID, and he realized that the only thing in there that had sentimental value and was irreplaceable was the boating license he got at the end of this cute boat ride at Liseberg in Gothenburg, Sweden. That detail made me kind of queasy too, to be honest, because I am such a memento hoarder. He had at least still had a picture of it that he took after getting it:

Meanwhile, about a week later, Henry called the bus people for shits and giggles, just to see if the wallet had been turned in. IT HAD BEEN! Shout out to whoever was on that bus after Chooch dropped it and did the right thing! So they drove out to wherever the lost and found is and Chooch was reunited with his wallet for, I dunno, the 87th time in his life, probably.

Ironically, I had been saying that I wanted to get him an airtag for the stupid thing for Christmas, RIGHT BEFORE HE LOST IT. Suffice to say, he now has an airtag inside the wallet.

But wait – there’s more.

After getting a new debit card that ended up not even being needed since his wallet was turned in, he clicked on a link that was texted to him from “FedEx” saying that his “package was undeliverable” and upon clicking the link, it asked him to re-enter his credit card number, which he did!?!? HE FUCKING FELL FOR THAT SHIT??

At least he had enough common sense in the reserves to immediately realize the error of his ways, so again: debit card got canceled, new one obtained from the bank. This was two weeks ago.

BUT WAIT – THERE’S MORE.

Last Thursday, he was like, “I’m going to the gas station, BRB.” The gas station is a block away and he often rides his bike there to get a drink or snacks. Goes to gas station. Comes home from gas station. Goes to his room. Five minutes later, comes stampeding down the steps in a panic.

“Have you seen my debit card?” he asked, voice tight with panic, eyes slightly bulged.

“Nope,” I say, barely looking away from the computer because this was during the workday and I do not have time to care about the constant lost state of his personal effects.

“I don’t think I left it at the gas station. I remember slipping it back into my wallet,” he said, raking his hand maniacally through his hair.

“You need to connect that card to your phone!” Henry huffed, hitting the Father Knows Best cue with impeccable timing.

“THAT’S WHAT I WAS TRYING TO DO WHEN I REALIZED I DIDN’T HAVE THE CARD!!!” Chooch screamed.

“Are you sure you put it in your wallet?” Henry questioned, the missing debit card version of “did you try turning it off and back on again?”

“You JUST got that card too,” I said, doing the motherly thing by pointing out the obvious. It had been less than a week, lol.

At this point, Chooch looked like he was about to jettison through the roof, and we were in dire need a live studio audience.

Chooch booked it down the sidewalk to the gas station. I have actually never seen him run so fast, if we’re being honest.

Apparently, he had dropped the card in the parking lot of the gas station (probably because he just slipped it into his wallet without actually putting it into one of the card slots) and someone ACTUALLY PICKED IT UP AND TURNED IT INTO THE CASHIER. I cannot believe this idiot’s luck with this stupid wallet and debit card.

Anyway, his card is now back to being connected to Apple Pay, and hopefully he won’t fall for any more scams. Maybe I should make him take the security training we’re required to do at work once a year. Jesus.

AUTHOR’S NOTE, THREE WEEKS LATER: So, I just saw Chooch’s wallet lying on his bed yesterday and um…I need to clarify that it is a KIRBY wallet, not PIKACHU. Deepest apologies for my error