Jun 012024
 

Literally. So. Boring.

But, this was by my own design, I guess. I sacrificed going away and doing something fun for the long weekend in favor of choosing the previous weekend for Cedar Point. Not that that weekend ended up being any less crowded, I’m sure! Then, Chooch waited until 6PM on Friday to decide for sure that he was going to visit Julian (his roommate in Mexico!) in DC for the weekend. Julian was in town visiting his dad and asked Chooch WEEKS in advance if he wanted to come down but Chooch being Chooch kept hemming and hawing, I dunno what he was waiting for, so then we ended up having to pay over $200 at the last minute to get him a roundtrip Greyhound (which was delayed bigly there and back) and that pretty decided for us that we do nothing all weekend.

And you know how well I do with doing nothing.

NOT WELL.

Saturday afternoon, we drove out past Elizabeth, PA with the intent of buying flowers at some nursery that we like on 51, but first we went to a cemetery for a walk and I hated the cemetery – it was our first time there, it was small, and packed with Memorial Day revelers. I always forgot that it’s a big grave-visiting weekend.

I threw a body-image-related fit, cried about hating myself, took a picture of the river and some lame town over the edge of the cemetery, and then we left. Henry went the wrong way on 51 so I screamed I GUESS WE’RE NOT GETTING FLOWERS NOW and he was like YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO GO HOME BUT I WILL TURN AROUND and I was like HOW ABOUT I SHOVE A STICK IN YOUR ASS AND THEN YOU CAN TURN AROUND – I was just in A MOOD all fucking day.

Then I declared that I needed lunch and I couldn’t wait until we got home so I made Henry go to Sheetz to get me a veggie wrap and I stayed in the car because NO ONE WAS ALLOWED TO LOOK AT ME. There were three old men chilling at an outside table drinking beer and talking about sledgehammers which was considerably more interesting than my dumb Saturday.

I took this later that night to send to Chooch while he was out doing fun DC things. Not me writhing around, moaning in the key of boredom, with Tokyo Disney food review videos on in the background.

Sunday was a little better – well, to start. I decided to do a 14-day metabolism reset so Henry was like F M L because this means he has to help me since I don’t like cooking. He has been trying to prepare my lunches the night before (breakfasts aren’t too hard for me, if you can believe it) and he has been so stressed about it. Like bro, this is 14 days out of your life and you can still eat your Reeses and soft pretzels in the car like usual.

Side bar to say that it’s been a week and I have lost 4 pounds BUT what I care about the most is that I’m starting to look like my old self again, less bloated, and Henry said I look healthier in general. The stress of 2024 so far has definitely made its mark on me, lol.

Anyway, commercial break over.

I had a much more positive outlook on Sunday. We went to some trail that goes along the river between Butler and Freeport or something, I actually have no clue where we were, and it was a really nice walk. The weather was so good. The bikers were obnoxious as  usual. (I HATE WHEN BIKE AND WALKING TRAILS ARE SHARED.) I called Henry a cunt at least 87 times with so much love, and we had some good talks about Korea, Chooch going to college, Seventeen and Stray Kids alleged upcoming tours. Big talks, you guys. Big talks.

At the beginning of the trail, there was a bulletin board with an ad for a local coffee shop in Freeport and I was like PLEASE CAN WE GO I NEED COFFEE OR I’LL DIE and Henry was like oh no anything to keep you alive, sweetheart bubblebee angel snugs.

Originally, I was going to just wait in the car but then I thought, “Eh, let’s see what vibe this FREEPORT CAFE has.”

Boy-o, let me just say – glad I went in! First of all, I want to say that the baristas were very nice. I’m supposed to be cutting out sugar to the best of my ability (I HAD THREE BUTTERSCOTCH HARD CANDIES THIS WEEK OK? CALL THE FUCKING SUGAR POPO ON ME. CHRIST) so I just got an iced latte with almond milk and no syrups. It was delectable. If you can’t drink a cafe’s coffee/espresso without sugar, then that cafe sucks.

While Henry was waiting for his drink, he went to the bathroom which gave me some time to really absorb the quiet, country atmosphere of this space. And the blue walls! So when Henry came back the bathroom, I was already seated a table. “We’re staying,” I said, and he was like, “Thank god” because all he had on the horizon was yard work and cooking more meals for me. He was quite happy to postpone those festivities.

Ugh.

I’m glad I went in though because if I had asked Henry what it was like inside when he came back to the car, he’d have said something like, “I don’t know, it was like a cafe. It had some tables.”

Also though, they have really great seasonal drinks on rotating so I’m excited to go back next Sunday when my 14 days are up!

Then, later that night, perhaps around 8:30, THE ELECTRICITY WENT OUT. There was a thunderstorm and one of those things exploded or whatever. Henry saw it and hurried up and called his mom and then wrote it in his THINGS I HAVE SEEN log on a page opposite of the list of military planes he has identified in the air.

Anyway, you guys, I was DYING. Literally so BORED. Floundered on the couch like a fish being cooked in sizzling ennui. Inconsolable. Henry was like CALM DOWN and that was just  making it worse. Chooch was sending me updates from DC, eating dinner at Murphy’s Pub, surrounded by the illumination of electricity, watching a band play instruments powered by electricity, etc etc and so on and so forth while I was trying to make objects move with my mind I WAS THAT BORED.

Around 10:00, the electric company truck rolled slowly past our house and I SCREAMED IN JOY, and then my joy swiftly morphed into panic and desperation as I cried HELP US! out the window, causing Henry to beg me to stop/sit down/shut up/other commands commonly utilized by cis white males.

When the electricity didn’t IMMEDIATELY come back on, I started panicking again.

“They have to send the trucks out to find the problems first! Then they will report it and fix it! Calm down!” Henry said, because when you’re born a cis white male, you’re pre-installed with various utility knowledge too without ever having to work for any of those companies.

Finally, around 11:15, after Henry refused to walk down the street where the supposed INCIDENT occurred to see what was going, and after HOURS of obsessively checking the REPORT AN OUTAGE page for updates, I said that I was going to report it again (Henry: “Well, they already know…”) so that I could ADD A DESCRIPTION:

I smugly thrust my phone out to Henry who had been warning me to please not make threats or swear because this was connected to our account and WAS JUST ABOUT TO HIT NEXT when the lights sputtered on. And you’ve seen my house, so going from pitch black to NEON CENTRAL in 0 seconds flat is quite a spectacle. It was like the Las Vegas Strip rebooting.

So that was a fun night!

Memorial Day itself was lame. This was the first time in quite a few years that we stayed home, which meant we got to see that dumb parade. It was also Tamanna’s first time watching it and she was recording it in the beginning and then lost interest and went back inside lol.

The fact that there are two Finleys scares me.

I fucking hate it so much when these assholes fire their idiot manly man-man rifles. It should be banned! This is triggering to many people and also rude and insensitive to the area animals!!

“Complain about it,” Henry mumbled.

“You know what maybe I will!” I cried. “Now that I know Dormont has a mayor!”

Henry frowned. “You…didn’t know that?”

“No, not until that time he liked my tweet,” I said.

Henry, now looking worried, tentatively asked, “What…was the tweet?”

“‘wow apparently Dormont has a mayor’.”

Henry: “…..”

Dude this religious prayer cohort is new-to-me. Totally unexpected! My work friend Maggie lives in a neighboring town that also gets visited by this dumb parade and she said one of those guys splashed her with holy water! “That’s assault, brother,” she said in her comment on my reel. Agreed! Some of us like having evil residing within our skinsacks.

Meanwhile, Chooch’s bus home was delayed by nearly three hours so he got to live his best life by renting a city bike and tooling around the empty city at 7am, sending me pictures of the Mr. Gray Guys (squirrels) that were frolicking around.

Yeah, I really don’t think I have anything else to add. It was….a weekend.

 

Jan 042024
 

Well, New Years Eve was alright! We never ever ever plan anything. I don’t even ask people to come over, honestly, because I’m so paranoid of DUIs/accidents/etc. I just want everyone to stay safe! So, we stay in every year, and it’s always cozy and regular-egular*.

*(Ew. I have never said that before. 2024 is off to a wild start!)

Now that I think about it, was this the last time we had a NYE guest??? Good lord that was a fun night. *promptly texts Christina the link*

Earlier that day, Henry brought his mom over. She was supposed to come over Christmas Day, but IN CASE YOU MISSED THE MEMO, I WAS PUKING.

Some things to note:

  • Chooch works early on weekends, comes home and immediately naps like an old man (see also: Henry). He tried to stay awake while Judy was here but she and Henry were talking about People From Before Our Time so he was easily lulled to sleep.
  • That saucer on the floor is what I feed the cats their treats on and it pisses off Henry and Chooch so much because there are two of them that they constantly kick around the house (saucers, not cats; they wouldn’t be living here any longer if they were kicking cats, FYI).
    • WAIT, YOU CAN SEE BOTH IN THIS PICTURE, LOL.

Per Judy’s request, Henry made kimbap. A few days later, my mom texted me like, “What are these pinwheels things with spinach that Judy is talking about??” LOL. That makes them sound so American.

Almost immediately upon arriving, Judy retold (unbeknownst to her) the heavily-fictionalized story of Henry climbing a tree, and the time she and my mom met some guy at McDonald’s and then my mom suddenly suggested that they follow him which, knowing my mom, TRACKS. My mom, however, aggressively disputes this memory. The two of them went out together today and when my mom texted me to tell me that she just dropped Judy off and they had a good time, I asked, “Did you pick up any guys??”

She chose to ignore that.

Judy and Trudy! (And Chooch.)

Hold please while I post the most unflattering picture of Henry, LOLOLOL:

Later that night, Chooch actually graced us with his presence for several rounds of this 80s and 90s humming game that I am SO FUCKING GOOD AT and Henry “I Was In Chorus” Robbins is embarrassingly bad at. Chooch also is really good and we can usually guess each others’ humming because we’re savants.

Anyway, on one of my turns, I got to choose any option from the card I had, so I chose Kate Bush’s “Running up that Hill” knowing Chooch would get it because of Stranger Things. He did (Henry did not) and I said, “It was between that and Tiffany” because he also loves “I Think We’re Alone Now” because of Umbrella Academy, and he goes, “Kate Bush and Tiffany are basically the same person.”

Mmm….are they though? Are they?

Also, I just realized that those are both from two shows that I always relate to each other so that’s a wild realization, come into my mind, it’s a fucking rave up in here.

Party cats.

Yeah, so that was a night. It was ok! I thought that I had drunk so much when I stood up and stumbled, but Henry pointed out that I only had one beer, LOLOL.

The next day, Chooch worked and Henry slept for HOURS because big baby was soooo tired boo hoo. Please. So I spent almost all day alone :( But then the idiot woke up and we went to Carnegie Coffee because I wanted matcha. It was pretty good. We also shared a cinnamon roll cake but I should have gotten my own because it was fucking good, man.

But yeah, mostly it was just a really boring and dreary day. Henry made soondubu jjigae for dinner, so that was a nice cozy New Years dinner. Then we just watched Korea cafe vlogs all evening and I cried about missing Korea. Typical.

I’ll tell you what though, I’m ready for HOLIDAY SEASON to be in the past. I still have my decorations up, but they will come down this weekend OK don’t judge me. Christ.

Jan 032024
 

Well, here we are, like anything is different but the GOSH DARN date.

(I’m trying to swear less in 2024.)

(Sike.)

(I’m bringing “sike” back in 2024.)

I don’t have any resolutions per se, like, things I want to quit, etc. But as with every year, I want to be more present in my friends’ lives and I feel like it never works as well as I hope. As much as I’m glad to be off of Facebook, it does make me the odd one out when it comes to missing big announcements and seeing my friends’ kids grow up, etc. I know back in the old days, we would just call each other with news or send an email god forbid, but I can’t expect everyone to be like, “Oh yeah, Erin!” and then send me a special text or email about life events. So…I need to be better at checking in, and that’s that!

What else…

Always up for making new friends. I got to finally meet Lindsey (twice!) last year and I hope there’s more fun lunches to come! I need to dust off* some of my older friendships too and actually make hangouts happen rather than just going through the motions. Like, sending a text with, “We need to catch up. Here are some dates and places to eat. Pick one of each. Alternatively, come to my house for pizza and to be served by Henry.”

I CAN BE MILITANT WHEN I NEED TO BE so I better get a solid, confident response after the initial text, none of this wishy-washy bullshit.

*(I did reconnect with someone from my childhood though and that was a really special thing that happened in 2023!)

More game nights? We only had ONE last year and it was impromptu.

More weekend day trips? We have lots of time now that Chooch doesn’t care about us. I asked Henry where we could and he was like, “You have lived in Pgh all of your life,  you know what is close” and yeah OK but I want him to tell me?? I like to find sickening-looking donut places and/or artery-clogging vegan fast food places to travel to. And I really want to go to CALL YOUR MOTHER deli!

(Am I ever going to come back to this post for reference, or am I typing just to type while waiting for dinner?)

We don’t have any amusement park trips planned yet, but I’m sure we will go to some. I did unilaterally decide that we should just make Dollywood our Thanksgiving tradition. I told Chooch and he was like, “What makes you think I’m going to vacation with you losers when I’m 18 and in college?” Wow OK. Cool.

I just want 2024 to be fulfilling and less stressful if possible than 2023, where I ended the year having what I believe were actual, clinical panic attacks throughout the month of December (starting the day and evening of Chingumas, actually) where my heart was fluttering out of control and I actually thought perhaps I was having a heart attack. I have never had anxiety/stress/panic that bad probably since 2016 aka The Year of the House / 116 Gillcrest. I was actually so scared one day last week while I was working that I called Henry and considered going to the hospital, but I truly think I was panicking.

So yeah, hopefully none of that in 2024. Maybe more quiet time would be nice, if I can actually get myself to do nothing?!!? How do you do nothing?! I was supposed to go to brunch with some friends on Saturday (it was ultimately postponed) and there was the option to go to a nearby spa first. Three of them were like “LET’S DO ITTTTT” and I was like, “LOL no thanks.” Like, me? Sitting/laying still and having a relaxing experience? No sir.

Well, one thing I can promise is that this blog will probably either stay at its current level of useless, or dip even deeper into worthless territory.

Bye!

Jan 012024
 

We had our cemetery Christmas “picnic” (hasn’t been a full picnic in YEARS but whatever) on Saturday since, OMG did you know I was sick on Christmas? I can’t remember if I mentioned it on here 5x or 50x. Sorry I’m annoying. I’m pretty salty though because from what I hear (I didn’t look out the window once), Xmas Day was exceptionally balmy and beautiful. My friends were like, “GREAT DAY FOR YOUR CEMTERY THING!!” and I was like, “Oh….was it?”

Our Do-Over Day was decidedly not balmy nor beautiful, but our options were the same for each day of this three-day weekend so I was like, “Fuck it, let’s just get this family photo-op over with” LOL j/k, I was like, “Let’s take our time and enjoy each other’s company like the tight-knit family unit we are.”

Right?

We picked Chooch up from work at Chipotle and drove straight to Sumi’s (usually we got to Pink Box but Sumi’s across the street was open since it wasn’t Christmas Day and as much as I love Pink Box’s array of Chinese buns, I love Korean baked goods even more), got some red bean donuts and I think Chooch got some mocha cream bread, then headed down the street to our face Christmas Cem: Homewood.

Thankfully, you can’t see it in these pictures but his pants had guac stains all over them and he just stunk of Chipotle in general but that’s the price we paid for not allowing him to come home first.

(Chooch was like “Get off me, don’t touch me” lol.)

It was fucking cold AF and the air was damp, the ground soggy and sploogy, but it was still nice to laugh while trying to capture some Party Party photos (Henry and Chooch constantly doing the bare minimum with those).

Some live action bullshit:

And to officially close the chapter on Christmas, here’s some pictures of my NCT swag <3

Chooch got me a Haechan bookmark and it was apparently Baby’s First Etsy Purchase. He didn’t realize it was almost Christmas that the seller had been sending him Convos because he didn’t leave a name with his address and also he didn’t speficy which member he wanted the free stickers to be of, and he didn’t know this was happening because he, of course, immediately locked himself out of his account after purchasing it. So on actual Christmas, he gave me a candle from Target and explained the sitch to me. Then a few days later, an envelope arrived addressed to “Etsy Seller.” It was my bookmark LOL.

Can you believe he asked for the candle back after the bookmark came?? Yeah, you probably can. “I actually bought that candle for myself, so….”

Then as he was inspecting the bookmark later, he made sure to throw in the fact that it cost an extra $1.50 to add the tassel. “It was basically the most expensive version they offered,” he said. LOL ok wow big spender.

Henry got me an NCT Dream sweatshirt! I mean, I sent him the link and the size, so it was the least he could do, honestly.

He also got me two Renjun shirts (<33333) and my mom got me a Haechan shirt after I told her, “Oh please, don’t get me anything! But I mean, IF YOU REALLY WANT TO, I’LL HAVE THIS HAECHAN SHIRT, THANKS.” She was like, “OK” and then on Xmas Eve I made her watch a “Haechan Being Haechan” compilation on YouTube so she would know who he is.

I looked over at one point and I think she was actually looking ABOVE the TV. Her eyes looked glazed-over.

Cool, goodbye Christmas 2023! I’ll leave you with this beautiful live performance of Like We Just Met from one of the recent year-end music shows in Korea. I love NCT Dream so much!! (Also, Janna sent me a screenshot with Haechan highlighted – she got it on her first try!!)

Dec 312023
 

Part two of the highly anticipated Christmas Eve 2023 series (?? lol ok) is finally here, everyone. You can read this and then sleep peacefully, knowing that you will be granted entrance to 2024 with the knowledge of how some idiot broad in Pittsburgh spent her December holidays, etc.

We offered to host this year and switched it to Christmas Eve because my dad usually has a small dinner on Christmas with Ryan and Corey so it’s just less stressful all around to do it on a different night. Plus, I thought it would be nice to spend actual Christmas, just the three of us, with no rushing around, cleaning, cooking, etc. (LITTLE DID I KNOW THAT I WOULD BE SPENDING IT DOING NOTHING BUT SLEEPING AND MOANING ON MY DEATH BED.)

Earlier that day, Janna texted me and said that Christmas was cancelled with her family because both of her sisters were sick so I was like OMG COME TO MY HOUSE THEN! And she was like OK! And even brought krumkake! (Did I already talk about this, Leroy? It feels like I may have.)

Anyway, here in this photo, she’s sitting next to Chooch on the church pew looking like someone accused her of voter fraud.

Ew, ham.

Henry also made the vegan Wellington again! But this time he used the School Night Vegan recipe which is very intense and involved. I thought it turned out SO WELL(ington) but sadly, I was not able to eat any leftovers due to the Christmas Stomach Expulsion of 2023. Lowk (I JUST LEARNED THAT THE KIDS TYPE THIS INSTEAD OF LOWKEY – THAT IS NOT A TYPO), I can’t even really bear to type about the food because, you know, aversions, etc etc.

Oh god. I really really really thought when I first got sick in the middle of the night that I had just mixed too many different wines because I was feeling FUCKING FESTIVE that night and glugged my fucking face off.

I was trying to take guerrilla, candid spy pics way too quickly and they kept coming out blurry. Am I fucking spastic or just getting old? Pretty soon, I’ll have a forever-smudge on my camera lens that everyone else will notice but me.

At some point, Corey asked for an extra napkin after I thought I made it clear this was a “one napkin per diner” event, so I grudgingly gave him one because Christmas Spirit. And you know what he needed it for? TO CAPTURE TWO STINKBUGS* which he then presented to me like some Hero Exterminator on the way to throwing it in the garbage.

I screamed, and I mean SCREAMED, “OMG you didn’t kill them, did you?? We don’t kill stink bugs in this house!!” and he was so taken aback by this, like he truly thought I was joking. Thank god he hadn’t squashed them yet, and I made him release them immediately!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS, STINKBUG BABIES!!

*(I typed stinkboys at first and now that’s what I want to call them going forward.)

Don’t even get me started on the desserts!! It ended up being FINE but I realized really late into the week that we hadn’t even considered this part of the meal and I felt bad putting even more tasks on Henry’s shoulders, so I suggested we just go and pick up dessert from a bakery. The day before, we went to Prantl’s and of course it was slim pickins because hello, most places have holiday pre-orders but we missed the deadline for everywhere. There were two pies sitting on a table – cherry and berry, I think, neither of which caught my eye – so Henry asked, “You don’t happen to have an apple pie in the back, do you?”

OH OK suddenly taking initiative which, you know, great, sit Ubu sit good boy, but when it comes to DESSERT MATTERS, we need to DISCUSS THIS FIRST. Hello, side bar? So, now I’m fuming that he did this without consulting me because I didn’t WANT an apple pie? And then the Prantl’s lady was SO STOKED as she came back with the LAST ONE and I was like, “Yay, I guess we’re having apple pie for Christmas.” So of course I threw a fit in the car as we left (I am a monster, you don’t have to say it behind my back. These are very popular facts that have been wildly known for 44 years) and Henry was all, “LISTEN HERE, QUEEN B, DO YOU WANT ME TO GO BACK” and I was like “NO!!” which clearly translates to YES. He went back and also got two tortes (they are Pittsburgh Famous for their burnt almond tortes, FYI) and everyone was happy so Christmas wasn’t ruined.

Post-dinner VR. We were watching Johnny’s rollercoaster POVs from vacation!

The way that Chooch was dressed like he was going to the beach after dinner, though.

Siblings!

Also, post-dinner, we started talking about all of my blind dates, for some reason, and I kept holding up my phone to show the table pictures of these guys (and girl). Ryan goes, “How are you pulling up these pictures so fast?” and I was like, “Oh, I’m just searching their names on my blog!”

Duh.

UGH this fucking game. Codewords. I was half-drunk by this point and had a hard time focusing.

Chooch was my teammate and you can tell he was very happy about this.

Ryan and my mom had left by then lol.

Corey on a “work call” while drinking “coffee” from the Olson Twins coffee cup I got him, lol.

Corey’s Famous Spinach Dip.

EK, XMAS EVE 2023

Overall, it was a nice evening. No drama. Good company. Lots of laughs! Wish this had carried over to the next day, LOLOLOLOLLLLL.

(P.S. There was kind of drama when Chooch leaned over and clicked “follow” on the Instagram of a girl he goes to school with, causing her to text him, “Your mom requested to follow me on Instagram!” which isn’t embarrassing at all.)

 

Dec 272023
 

Still not feeling fully myself. I slogged through the workday yesterday (it’s amazing how it’s even a struggle working while sick even when you’re in the comfort of your own home) and I ended up getting a bit of my fever back last night. No more stomach issues since mid-Christmas Day at least! Anyway, in an effort to not get too behind in blogging, let’s look at pictures of pre-Christmas Eve dinner. I love setting things up while Henry is killing himself at the stove!

LOL I actually have no idea how to set a table. And crinkled napkins give it a rustic flavor, I feel like right? Or is Garbage Xmas the theme I was shooting for?

At least I straightened the fork before taking this picture.

Janna’s family was sick, so Christmas was postponed for her. I said, “NOT SO FAST” and invited her to our hobo Christmas Eve dinner. Our table, even with the leaf in place, isn’t meant to seat more than 6 comfortably so she and Corey had to squeeze in together at the end. I suggested that she just eat in the living room at the coffee table but Henry was like, “Erin.”

:D

Anyway, Janna’s family is Norwegian and she brought over a batch of her mom’s homemade krumkake – they were delightful! They’d kick pizzelles’ asses in a street fight.

Clown Buffet continues to be the best part of the house currently.

Poor Penelope doesn’t know yet that people are on their way. DON’T GET TOO COZY.

I can tell that I took this picture after some guests arrived because I see Corey’s “World Famous” spinach dip and rolls displayed in all of their “rogue recipe” glory up there. OK, this confirms that I’m still not ready to talk/think/write about food so I will end this here. Bye byeeeee.

Dec 252023
 

Dude you guys. I have very little to say about Christmas Day because I legit spent 99% of it in bed with a stomach bug. I was able to come downstairs for about an hour that morning, having written off the night before as “too much mixed wine at Christmas Eve”  but then I quickly realized that nope, oh nope, this was a bug that was going to accompany me throughout the entire fucking day, ho ho ho.

Christmas Eve was much more festive so I will recap that once I am 100%. But for now, here are the only pictures I took along with a recap of who all gave Chooch his presents which is my favorite part of wrapping gifts!

He actually said, “Wait…who’s Doug? Oh, that guy.”

Waiting for Henry so he could start opening all of his presents from “other people.” This was the year of vinyl. It’s pretty much all he wanted.

Opening Penelope’s present for her because she was being a weirdo.

I got Henry some tool thing that I always see commercials for on YouTube. I dunno if he will ever have a use for it, but you’re welcome, from: Project Manager.

A selection of people from whom he received gifts this year:

I got a bunch of NCT Dream stuff, a new LALA coat, some Lolavie hair stuff, and probably bed sores from all the bed-laying I did :(

Dec 172023
 

.

Way back in September, we were on our way to Chicago for Riot Fest when I randomly started talking about whether or not we’d have a Christmas party that year. I am always on the fence with this. I love having parties, I really do, but I always get really stressed out and sometimes end up not even enjoying it. Plus, I just don’t really care about Xmas that much. I started thinking about how people have Friendsgiving but I also kind of think that’s corny and giving A Beautiful Mess, so I definitely wanted to make up my own holiday.

It got me thinking, what’s the Korean word for “friend”?

Chingu.

And I would still want to have the party in December.

So…Chingumas. Boom. Done.

I googled this, in English and Korean, and nothing comes up so I think I might have literally invented it!? I excitedly texted Chooch from the car and he of course didn’t respond so I had to follow up hours later:

UGHUGHUGH.

Then the next day, we met my friend Vicki who works in the law firm’s Chicago office for breakfast and before we even sat all the way down, I blurted out, “VICKI I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING THAT NO ONE FROM OUR GROUP KNOWS YET” to which she responded with a pallid-faced, “OMG what?”

“I think I invented a new holiday!” I cried. She slapped a hand against her chest and sighed, “Oh, Erin!” I guess she thought I was going to tell her I was quitting or something.

We hit up H-Mart before leaving Chicago the next day so that we could stock up on all the Korean alcohol, boiii, since Pgh sucks in that regard (you can get soju at some liquor stores but I have not seen a great selection of flavors nor have I seen makgeolli which is my fave Korean sul).

And then I proceeded to embark on a willy-nilly, haphazard invitation spree. Jessica, the only thing I miss about Facebook, THE ONLY THING, is the ability to create a FB event, add everyone I want, and then easily keep track of the RSVP list, post updates, delegate food-bringing, etc. Now, I am inviting people on Instagram. Via text. Over Jabber at work. On It-Will-Always-Be-Twitter. And then I promptly cannot remember who I invited and who I didn’t invite. So the week before the party is inevitably spent terrorizing people, asking, “PLEASE REMIND ME, ARE YOU COMING TO CHINGUMAS?” and then they reply with, “PLEASE REMIND ME, WHEN IS IT?” and it’s a hot mess. And then I always forget to invite people because I’m in my early onset dementia era, I think. Or I need to start keeping an actual planner like people did in the 70s or whatever.

Anyway, Chingumas was last Saturday the 9th and guess what?? My great friends Bill & Jessi came all the way from Michigan on Friday to spend the First Weekend of Chingumas with us! I had every intent of decorating early, doing food prep early, etc etc so that on Saturday, we could relax a little and spend time with them.

Did that happen? FUCK NO. We were panic-everything’ing the whole fucking day. It was a dumpster fire. Henry was so behind on food-making, I wasn’t still decorating when people were beginning to arrive, my heart rate was rabbit-on-the-run levels of Next Stop: Heart Attack Land.

I mean, look Linda, listen: it was fine! It really was fine. Even though people were arriving while I was roaming around aimlessly, muttering over and over, “Wait, what was I doing? Why did I come in here?” and then Chooch had to help me cut out my idol food labels because I don’t have eight hands and Henry was still preparing food so the kitchen was a shit house and UGH. He had to give me a quiet pep talk as I was contemplating drowning myself in the kitchen sink.

Megan’s Famous Cheeseball: Korea Edition! It had gochujang in it, which was the secondary theme of the party – so much food had gochujang in it and I was happy because this is one of my favorite things ever! (It’s Korean red pepper paste, in case you were wondering, and it is fucking spicy and perfect.)

But you know what, he was right. It was fine. I was OK. It was OK. The food got done (although he forgot that he was supposed to make mini grilled kimcheese so that’s great, thanks). People were eating and drinking and laughing and my work friends were mingling with my non-work friends and my friend Cara that I have known since Kindergarten but rarely see showed up with a Seoul Box for me and she seemed to be OK being thrown to the wolves aka my other friends, and Bill and Jessi’s presence kept me calm, and Chooch had four of his friends over and they were like “This is good food” and everyone was calling the kimbap “sushi” even though I had a cut-out of Sana from Twice announcing that it was kimbap but you know what, this was just the first Chingumas. Baby steps.

One of my favorite parts was when Glenn and Amanda arrived and some of my non-work friends were like, “Yes, we know Glenn” and Glenn was like, “No…I don’t think we’ve met” and then they realize, “Oh shit we know him from Erin’s blog” or whatever, and thank god that he is OK with that HAHA. I mean, is he though? Eh. Probably.

Thank god you can’t see the sink in this shot because it was FULL. The perils of not having a dishwasher.

I feel like I spent the first 30 minutes walking around with an industrial roll of tape, and then at one point asking, “Why am I holding this?” You can see it laying on that white stool back there. I set it down and then forgot about it for hours until I found it later laying on the hand chair and then finally putting it away.

I guess I’m including all of this because I am marginally concerned about my brain health and want to have this on record. Maybe I’m just tired. Maybe I should start taking naps?

Maybe I should also include the guest list before I start forgetting names and faces as well:

  • Bill & Jessi
  • Amanda & Glenn
  • Janna
  • Cara
  • Megan
  • Sami
  • Lori
  • Sandy
  • Nate & April
  • Wendi & Ben
  • Margie
  • Shawn & Jess
  • Chris & Monica
  • Corey
  • Lauren

Chooch’s Crew:

  • Ben
  • Daniel x 2 (aka The Daniels)
  • Zakk

We made tiramisu and I know you’re asking right, “Why would you make a traditional Italian dessert for a party celebrating Korean culture?” and I will tell you why: one of the first things we realized on our first trip to Korea was that HOLY SHIT, they love tiramisu in that country! You could go into any cafe and expect to see some type of tiramisu in the dessert case. Tiramisu almonds.

Ya gotta just take my word for it, OK? Tiramisu is ubiquitous over there and we love that.

In the beginning of the party, I was panicking that I wasn’t going to get enough pictures which has been a problem in the past, so I literally just ran around in photo attack mode which my GUESTS FUCKING LOVED, I WILL TELL YOU THAT MUCH especially when I posted some of these on Instagram to their great “I wasn’t ready!” chagrin. Corey and Chris look like I dragged them in my house off the street and tossed them back there, which to be fair is kind of the strategy I had for accumulating party guests back in my early 20s. I mean, I have kind of changed my ways and I, you know, play by the book these days, sort of.

You can tell I was frantically taking these and people were like, “AREN’T THESE BLURRY??”

“No!” I yelled over my shoulder, moving on to my next target. Flash forward to the next morning, oh man, a lot of these photos are blurry!

I was going to only play kpop but I feel like people wouldn’t have been able to handle ALL KPOP ALL THE TIME so I used last year’s Xmas Party playlist which seemed to be ok for everyone.

LOL MARGIE and her shot glass of soju lol.

Tiramisu!

Henry also made a large platter of tteokbokki and the other sub-theme of the night was, “This is spicy but I like it!”

Still on my photo-attack tip.

Here’s Henry finally getting a chance to explain the nitty-gritty electrical deets behind his Seoul Subway sign. You can’t see her, but Margie was listening intently so that she can make something similar for our next department meeting. So when Sue says, “Margie, can you pull up the numbers?” Margie can share her screen to show her gigantic light-up sign of our new business intake monthly stats.

I don’t know what was going on here but when I reminded people of the hashtags that I wanted them to use on Instagram, Nate seemed very annoyed so I left the Back Porch Club alone after that.

Megan and Janna used to live on the same street but then Megan moved because she didn’t want to live on the same street as someone who can’t pick Haechan out of a crowd of 9!!!!

My favorite part of the night was finally getting people to try makgeolli and I’d say it was a hit! Hope they didn’t like it too much since it is so fucking hard to find around here.

OK, I have been writing this for way too long.

Wendi and Ben! We almost had two Wendi/ys here but Wendy-with-a-Y was sick :(

Lori and Sandy and the Rush Audit Light!

Cara! We almost had two Cara/Karas but Kara-with-a-K was sick :(

Chronica!!

Nate and April!

Jessi and Bill!!

Margie and Lauren!

Herbert and Megan!

Chooch and Wonka talking about Computer Science thangs. Chooch became the man of the hour after his friends left and he was available to be verbally accosted by all of the adults wanting to drill him on his college plans. I tried to ask him a question later that night after everyone left and he said, “I’m all out of talks. Come back another day.”

Wow.

Megan and me! Also, my gochujang cookie looks like it has Mary or Jesus on it!?

Jess and Wonka!

Corey!

Freaking precious.

I think this one needs framed???

Glenn and Amanda!

I dunno, I think it was fun! It seemed like everyone else did too so I guess we will try it again next year with maybe more advanced Korean culture components. Photo cards, maybe?? An NCT member line-up match game?? Hangul crash course?? Korean drinking games?!

Dec 042023
 

Hello from the other side of Trudy’s blinding lights! She is fully dressed and ready to face another December holiday head on. I do have to admit that I am way less into decorating her lately and prefer to let a few strings of lights and her rockin’ bod do the talking, you know what I’m saying? Less is more in the case of Trudy.

I still asked Janna to come over and we admittedly just sat on the couch, wine in hand, watching Henry fuck with the lights. Then I strangled her with some garland, topped her off with her Santa hat, and found a pair of daisy sunglasses which were calling her name.

I mean, it’s hard to fuck it up, really. She’s already such a dish that it’s essentially just gilding the lily, AS THEY SAY (I learned that from TERESA STRASSER on While You Were Out!).

Then I made Janna watch a bunch of NCT Dream stuff and roller coaster vlogs while we ate Chooch’s homemade version of Chipotle guac. It was a nice night, overall! And I’m so happy to have the room awash in Trudy’s majestic glow once again.

Nov 242023
 

Hi from the other side of Thanksgiving. I hope everyone had a GRAND day spent with the people of their choosing and eating whatever the hell you wanted, or doing nothing at all. I kind of think that this is an overrated holiday, probably the one I’m least excited about mostly because of my past struggles with family and forever food phobia.

I try to “get into the spirit” some years, but this year we chose to have a lowkey, quiet dinner catered by The Zenith (bless them) with some pumpkin burek from Jak’s Bakery as an extra treat.

Chooch actually came out of his lair!

Action shot of Henry serving us. He was mad because I chose small plates to use but I thought that they were cute!

Zenith Thanksgiving dinner! All vegan.

Pumpkin soup included! It’s my favorite part. I always love Zenith’s soups.

Bulgarian pastry filled with pumpkin courtesy of Jak’s Bakery. We first discovered this place at a farmer’s market in East Liberty numerous years ago, I want to say pre-pandemic so perhaps 2019? Jak was just getting started then and now he has a brick and mortar bakery which is opening this Sunday! That same farmer’s market was also the first time we had vegan Trinidad food from ShadoBeni and he also has his own space now! Love that for both of them.

Henry found this Henley in his dresser of unworn clothes so now watch him wear it constantly all winter, as he is wont to do with one article of clothing. Usually, it’s the same goddamn flannel.

Chooch was annoyed that I took this picture. “REALLY. DO YOU REALLY NEED A PICTURE OF YOUR GLASS??” Yes, actually. I collect glass memories. Thanks for asking.

THE BEST PART. Zenith pumpkin bundt cake. Oh sweet Jesus.

Chooch didn’t get the color-coordinating memo. It’s fine.

While Henry was cleaning up (LOL), Chooch and I retreated into the living room where we continued our tradition of watching & heckling random birthday party videos on YouTube. There were some real…winners this time. This one family was so annoying – it was like a biker gang married into a family of WASPS, first of all, and it was A JOINT PARTY for a 2 year old (boring safari themed and no one cared about her) and an 8 year old ginger (NERF-themed complete with garish blue and orange cupcakes?? ugh ew). It was a pool party to boot, so when it was time for NERF tag, we saw soooo many biker butt cracks. It was actually scarring. But our main takeaway is that in addition to singing the birthday song, they also sing some JESUS LOVES YOU verse, AND THEN it ends with some bizarre ditty about making your favorite dish and then everyone pauses for a dramatic beat before screaming FISH??

The fuck?

“Is this is a real thing?” I cried, because I grew up JUST SINGING HAPPY BIRTHDAY and didn’t even know anyone personally who did the stupid “cha cha cha” bit until much later in life and even learning about that was extreme for me. I guess because I’m just generally not into singing Happy Birthday to begin with? I usually just mouth the words at parties (unless it’s for Chooch, then I will sing, ugh) and I HATE HATE HATE having it sung to me. So when I come upon families that turn this into a whole fucking concert, I feel alarmed.

“I can’t find anything on Google,” Chooch reported back. “It must be something these idiots made up. Also, the grandma makes me uncomfortable.”

“Oh yeah, I fucking hate that bitch,” I agreed. “We should start singing the fish song at our birthday parties and then somehow make it go viral so then that family will find out about it and we can have a public feud over who created it.”

Chooch is not on board with this.

Then Henry stormed in and said to Chooch, “MOVE OVER, I AM GOING TO SIT WITH YOU GUYS, MY LOVING FAMILY.” And that was fine for about 5 minutes until Chooch and I both started to fixate on Henry’s heavy, whistle-y breathing so he eventually threw tantrum and went upstairs while tossing insults over his shoulder the whole way.

Henry did eventually come back down and we watched travel vlogs on YouTube (I finally got him to seriously answer my “Top 3 Places You Want To Visit” question which he has NEVER done in the past – Italy, Switzerland, Thailand), and then I stayed up late working on my gem painting while listening to Britney Spears’ memoir on audio and crying because Team BritBrit 4L. I’d like to punch her parents and sister in their fucking faces.

So, yeah! A typical Thanksgiving here at the Oh Honestly Household. I do wish we were going to Dollywood or somewhere fun this weekend as TRADISHUN calls for, but it’s fine. Saving money is good. Sigh.

But there are still things to look forward to this weekend! Such as:

  • hopefully seeing PAM from COASTER CREW this afternoon!?
  • the Annual Lighting of Trudy later tonight
  • Saturday is wide open, endless possibilities (watch me do nothing)
  • daytrip to Maryland on Sunday specifically to go shopping at HMart
  • I’m off on Monday from back when we were supposed to go away this weekend, so…TBD for now, I guess.

 

Nov 022023
 

Wow, why do I even bother acting like Halloween is my favorite holiday? The last handful of 10/31s have been eh, blah, meh, boo. WTF man. I mean, I’m probably sounding super dramatic and it honestly wasn’t BAD this year but just…boring. Cold. Kind of sad because my child is 17 and hasn’t asked me to help him with a costume since 8th grade I think! But I still take the day off work (I use my floating holiday and request the day in the beginning of January every year, why am I so lame) under the pretense that I’m going to live my best creepy life on this day, take a blood bath while listening to the Suspiria soundtrack, etc.

This year, I…read a book. Went for a walk. Watched Taemin videos. Helped my new neighbors. I didn’t even bother putting scary music on during TRICK OR TREATING (well, I did put on some creepy MTV Euro playlist from the 90s and some of the videos were making me very uncomfy in a big way).

And you know what? This year we beat our record of least amount of trick-or-treaters: 2. TWO FUCKING KIDS. And that was only because I verbally accosted (in a friendly way) when they were walking past my house with their dad on their way home from better streets I guess. I was like, “TAKE A WHOLE BUNCH” and literally let them walk off with fistfuls.

Meanwhile, the day before, Chooch decided to go to Spirit and buy a costume to wear to school. I was so excited that he did this of his own accord and that I didn’t positively ruin Halloween for him by following in my mom’s footsteps and hijacking his costume ideas every year. (Sike, love you, Val! I fondly look back on my old costumes every year even though they were borderline traumatic for me at the time LOL.)

He came home with this big blow-up Garfield, totally random but it made me laugh. FOR A STORE BOUGHT COSTUME, THAT IS.

I’m actually surprised that he was allowed to wear it at school, considering how schools have been no-fun zones since Columbine and food allergies.

His school is basically on the Pitt campus and he said that after school, he was a celeb with the Pitt students, people were asking to take pictures with him. “It was totally worth the $60,” he texted me.

SIXTY FUCKING DOLLARS. Oh well, he has a job again and used his own dumb money so what do I care.

I was also happy that he and a bunch of friends went trick-or-treating too! Like a last hurrah, which I think is so important. I know a lot of you Karen types out there don’t think that teenagers should be welcome to trick-or-treat but in my opinion, if you’re wearing a costume, in the Halloween spirit, and not being an asshole, you are welcome to my candy.

Especially if you’re dressed as Michael Myers. And an adult. Please have my candy.

The night before, we took pumpkins over to our new neighbors’ house and helped them carve their first jack o’lanterns! That was really special! We have to communicate through Google translate but it’s worth it. I can’t remember how much I have mentioned about this because so much has happened in the two weeks since they moved next door to us, but they are an Afghan family consisting of a single mom and her three kids: 16, 13, 10. She is from Afghanistan, her kids were born in Russia, and they came here after living in Turkey for the last 6 years. I don’t really know the full details of their story yet because it’s so hard to communicate, but the sitch doesn’t seem great and they were placed here by a refugee agency who is doing the BARE MINIMUM to help. When I say that they are coming to us for everything, I’m not exaggerating.

It’s been really exhausting (being a good person is hard work!!! My inner demon has been fighting tooth and nail on this) but it’s worth it to make them feel comfortable and welcome. I just wish this fucking agency would work a bit harder to get them situated and introduce them to other Afghans or even just anyone who speaks Turkish which is the language they appear to default to, because while it’s OK to hang out and be neighborly here and there, THIS AIN’T 227.

Sorry, j/k. That was mean. But I am trying to establish boundaries because this lady doesn’t realize it yet, but I am literally the last person that anyone should use as their crutch. YOU GUYS KNOW.

So yeah, this October started off strong, but then I gained a spare family and now I just feel very tired, stressed (last week was REALLY bad because of all of the caring I was doing and I was losing sleep over it) and disoriented. Add to that the fact that I barely see Chooch anymore because of his extracurriculars and job, and I’m just like…lost. I don’t know. It’s weird. I’m weird. NO YOU’RE WEIRD. GO AWAY.

Jul 302023
 

Hey, it’s me on my 44th birthday. It’s been a pretty low-key day. Nothing from Henry as usual, got rained out on tonight’s tennis sesh, and didn’t do anything adventurous. But, don’t cry for me, Blogatina because we leave for vacation on Thursday so I actually sabotaged my own day by canceling the day trip that we were originally planning on taking to Cleveland for a SHINee 15th anniversary cup-sleeve event. I guess that’s the Lilliputian adult version of me living inside my head that made her concerns heard for once, like, “Bitch, why you about to spend $$$ on a roadtrip four days before you leave for a trip that you couldn’t afford?” And I was like, “OK Tiny Bitch, I hear you. God!”

Anyhow, here’s a quick recap of my birthday.

It started a few days later when Wendy gifted me with a pineapple purse at work on Thursday! I swear to god, some of my quirkiest purses are courtesy of WMM. She has her finger on the gifting pulse, that is FOR SURE.

Then yesterday, I stopped by Megan’s to check in on her cat while Megan and Eric are out of town and she left me birthday goodies! I took this picture of the Robert pendant she got me while I was still at her house as proof that I was already wearing this t-shirt – what a happy accident! She also made me a root beer pie like the one she made for the last pie party! Totally spoiled me!

This afternoon, Janna came over (HER MOM HAD TO DROP HER OFF BECAUSE JANNA LOCKED HER KEYS IN HER CAR YOU GUYS!!!!) and after we had a social hour where I tried once again to get her to identify Haechan from NCT, Henry drove us to Butterwood Bake Consortium which I haven’t been to in several years but always have the fanciest cakes with major tea party ingredient vibes. It was so hard to choose, but I went with a vegan blueberry cake with UBE BUTTERCREAM; Janna got a blueberry tea cake with like, orange curds; Henry got some cardamom tea cake thing; and Chooch got a strawberry cobbler tart or something.

Henry’s tea cake which was also supposed to be mine but then he rudely ate the last bite even though I wanted it and he never even bothered to ask, so REALLY racking up the points here, buddy-bud fuckhead.

Look how beautiful Janna’s was!

Anyway, the one downside was that we had to sit outside in the “courtyard” which was basically like a slab of broken concrete surrounded by weeds and a parking lot, all because these two asshole women were taking up two different group spaces amongst the two of them. One was sitting in an armchair in front of a table meant for 4, reading a book. I guess I can overlook this, but the only bitch WAS EATING WENDY’S at another table meant for a group. JUST BLANANTLY EATING HER DISGUSTING FAST FOOD IN THIS MAJESTIC BAKERY, but OK, bitch. I can’t believe the Bakewood staff was allowing this. Maybe she had ordered a drink from there to get around it, but still, are you fucking kidding me?

Our table and chairs wobbled bigly. On my birthday. But whatever. You shove that big bitch Wendy’s meal in your stupid fucking face. KIND REGARDS,

THIS 44-YEAR-OLD MEGA-(K)ERIN.

P.S. Is this Taemin’s way of acknowledging my birthday??!! Wearing a Robert Smith shirt at the Waterbomb after party?? Normally I’d chalk this up to his stylist being like “here put this on” but this is the second time I’ve seen him wearing a Robert shirt so maybe he actually is a fan??

https://www.instagram.com/p/CvVGaVwvg1m/

Jun 182023
 

Good morning from Cedar Point! Expecting it to be packed today as usual but at least it’s something to do.

Walking to SteVe, immediately.

Visiting Daddy on Father’s Day! Love you Papa SteVe!!

11:13am: Literally the best experience we had on SteVe. Wait was estimated at 40 min and it took less than that, no breakdowns while we were in line, and they let Chooch and me have the back. I love this stupid fucking psycho coaster so much!

Henry got front row and is so smug about it.

Now he’s making us wait in line for Maverick which is broken down and I hate this gamble!!! It almost never works out well for us.

me: new thing! Since I’m liveblogging let’s take a selfie in every line we wait in.

Thanks Chooch.

11:38am: Fuck you, Maverick. Moving on because I couldn’t take hearing the bitch in front of me talk about her basic bitch interests anymore.

11:54am ditched Henry, now in line for Iron Dragon 🐉

ALSO, Chooch hates my new selfie rule.

iron dragon was way FUNNER than I remember FYI.

12:45pm: got lunch at the new pavilion and the service was TRASH. the roll was the best part of the meal. Views are nice though!

They’re playing retro ragtag covers of shitty pop songs though and a Taylor Swift one is on now so that dragged down the lunch review.

Chooch bonded with a guy in the bathroom over the awful music. “I didn’t think they could make Taylor Swift worse.”

12:54pm Gatekeeper selfie!

everyone hates me!

That was the best Gatekeeper ride I’ve ever had!

1:29pm: Carousel line selfie!

1;51pm: Choochs phone just died and he wants to go home because now he will either have to talk to “us guys” or look at the sky LOLOL.

Waiting for out old car thing! Henry can’t hear.

We got the slowest car here and people are on our asses. Chooch is so pissed. He just said he feels like Janna lol hi Janna!

2:03pm: RAPTOR’S LINE IS LIKE 10 MINUTES!!

Ok I’m saying it: Raptor is my favorite B&M invert. I SAID IT.

now we’re in line for the new Wild Mouse which is an HOUR wait and the guys in front of me are wearing patchouli and chooch is being pissy.

Pissy “I wouldn’t be in a bad mood all day if I had a belt” Chooch.

3:08pm: Still in line. Some little kid the next row over tapped me on the shoulder and said excuse me you have a bug on your shirt and of course I always think I’m the butt of a joke so I panicked but I did indeed have a MAYFLY on my shirt so Henry got it off for me which then turned into me blaming Henry for not doing a better job guarding my person from bugs and other harmful things.

3:14pm: Still in line but maybe another 15? At least people here aren’t assholes like at Canada’s Wonderland.

I asked chooch if he is immediately going to add this to his spreadsheet and he said I CANT MY PHONE IS DEAD. lololol. Also “Call Me Maybe” is on right now!!

3:53pm: that was the best Wild Mouse I’ve ever been on! It was trimless! Henry bit his lip lol. We got the pink car!

Now we’re in line for Gemini which only I am excited for!

The way I have to beg for these selfies though.

ugh stupid Henry has to treat himself.

5:01pm:

Rode MaxAir, it was fine.

Now Chooch is spending money. He won a medium sized prize!

5:11pm: We left! Bye bye Cedar Point!

Some thoughts from the car:

  • Raptor was a big highlight – from the delightfully enthusiastic dad & 2 kids in front of us to the overall fantastic ride, I declared that it was my second favorite ride in the whole park.
  • SO MUCH TAYLOR SWIFT WAS HEARD TODAY.
  • This was the first time we didn’t ride Millie and that felt kind of weird. We were actually only in that area once, even.
  • This was the best ride I’ve ever had on Gatekeeper. I even grayed out!
  • I got stapled on Gemini so that wasn’t very enjoyable.
  • We didn’t ride Magnum! I will only ride it if it’s a station wait bc I do like it but it hurts!
  • I thought the addition of Wild Mouse to the revamped boardwalk area was really cute and fits nicely with the theme. It just sucks that it’s such a short ride and will probably always have a long wait because even the shittiest Wild Mouses in other parks get notoriously long waits. But I thought the theming was super eye-catching and I also liked that they were playing legit beach music in that area. I did suggest to Chooch that they should play the Back to the Beach soundtrack and he rolled his eyes at me.
  • Only lowlight really was MAVERICK (so sick of that one breaking down constantly) and the service we experienced at the new Grand Pavilion. The cashier was nice though, I should specify that the coldness was reserved for the people behind the food counter thing. Not a single person made eye contact with us or smiled. It made me so uncomfortable and I almost didn’t even want to order anything from there.
  • The cookies were back to being good!! I feel like the last time we got them from the bakery they were really dry and stale. The snickerdoodles were sooooo MOIST today.
  • Overall, it wasn’t really crowded there at all for a weekend. I wish we were had been staying over though so we could have stayed until close because I can only imagine how many more rides we could have made it on. Every time I checked the ride times, SteVe had never gone past 60 minutes which is unheard of. But I was content with the one ride we got on it this morning, especially since we only had to wait about 30 minutes!
  • Maybe someday, someone will actually want to come with us?? I tried to get my brother to come with us but he promised our dad he’d go over for a visit and, oh yeah, I guess it was Father’s Day after all lol.

The end.

May 152023
 

This was one of the nicest Mother’s Days I’ve had in some time (minus the SHAVED ICE incident) and I’m so glad that Chooch and Henry were both on board with my idiotic wish if driving 3 hours for vegan junk food.

I really really really enjoyed our post-lunch digestive walk about the nearby rose garden. We were laughing (OK I was laughing) at one point when I realized that all the other mothers there that afternoon were dressed in spring dresses or some type of feminine equivalent and here I come in my pink vans and NCT127 shirt, bitches.

You know, becoming a mom is one of the best decisions I ever made in my whole entire life, but going hand-in-hand with that was my decision to not lose myself when becoming a mom. Sometimes I wonder if Chooch would have preferred a real MOM-mom in lieu of the landychild mom he was born to. Hold on, I’m going to ask him. I’ll report back.

WELP, HIS ANSWER WAS AN EXTREMELY PUT-OFF “I DON’T KNOW.”

Cool. Cool cool cool.

Also, check out that mini-bitch ruining our photo!!

I was going to try and remove those people from my picture but then I felt too tired/couldn’t care anymore.

Two crazy parts about yesterday:

  1. we didn’t fight at all (EXCEPT FOR WHEN THE SHAVED ICE THING HAPPENED)
  2. we didn’t encounter any annoying people anywhere we went

Let’s be real though for a second – I have to plan my own Fun Times or else we’ll just stay home and I’ll sit here all day waiting for something that’s never going to happen. I think that’s why I actually like stupid Miley Cyrus’s “Flowers” – because that’s basically me even though I’m not single (or am I??).

Sometimes you just gotta make your own happiness, you guys!

May 142023
 

(I should put this disclaimer in all of my blog posts but please be advised that I write most of my posts from my phone and sometimes words get autocorrected answers* I don’t notice, or I just create typos all of my own volition but I’m a stoop in that way. Apologies in advance. Bueno bueno.)

*(SEE???? Just swerving by a month later and noticed this. I guess that was supposed to be “and”??)

Hello good morning sweateeees I wasn’t going to LiveBlog but now I feel like it. It is currently 9:27am and we just had a fun stop at Sheetz in Wheeling. Some broad came rushing over to me and legit cried, “I JUST HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT I LOVE LOVE LOVE UR SWEATER. ITS FANTASTIC!” And it was a really nice Sheetz moment, you know? Chooch came slithering around the corner and hissed, “WHAT did she say?” Because as you know, Chooch hates it when I am the recipient of compliments.

Then as we were walking away from the check out, someone came up behind us and fucking ROARED their cigarette order in a marbled slur, making us all whip our heads around to see TO WHOM THE VOICE BELONGED. As expected, it was a very large (in height and girth) truck driver.

11:02am: at a rest stop somewhere in Ohio and I just screamed out the name of a coaster enthusiast that I have been trying to think of since last night and no one cares lol. (It is SLOAN by the way – I kept saying “it’s an ambiguous name and also the name of a character from a popular 80s movie” like I knew the name the whole time but was just trying to get other ppl to guess??)

All you have missed so far is me bitching about social media attention-grabbers.

11:29am: Chooch just asked if we were going outside anywhere, like…we didn’t just drive all the way to Columbus to sit in the car, so…?

I asked why and he said, “because somehow* I got Dunkin all over my shirt.”

*SOMEHOW. Because he is still a child!! Henry just said, “I guess we need to start bringing the diaper bag with us in the car again.” Honestly!! 17 years old but some things never change.

He just asked for an I Love Ohio shirt to change into lol.

Waiting for our fooooood!

Lunchin’ with Mikey!

Ok, this has got to be top 3 best vegan places I’ve eaten at, now that we’ve had two experiences I feel like I can safely and confidently say that. I got the fish sandwich and nearly wept into it.

General Tso’s wings – amazing. Chunky bois. Lotsa umami. Chooch got the sandwich version, and Henry got the Buffy Mac which is a chicken sandwich with Mac and cheese on it.

We were all satisfied. And also happy that we got there within five minutes of the lunch time rush, phew.

Meanwhile, since seventeen year old still travels like a toddler and ended up arriving in Columbus with stains and spills all over his shirt, we had to buy him a shirt from the place we’re eating lunch at and now it’s like he’s That Guy who wears the band’s shirt to their concert OMG no lol.

1:12pm: we just left some rose garden thing and it was a nice way to digest after that filling lunch.

We managed to not fight once! Chooch was mostly distracted by the online auctions he’s bidding on.

1:51pm: SOUND THE BUZZER! Henry finally managed to ruin my day!!!!!! We went to Belle’s Bakery because they presumably have shaved ice which I stupidly thought was the Americanized way of saying they have kakigori. Since the bingsu place is closed on Sundays, I figured the Japanese version would suffice.

It was REALLY crowded so Henry said he would wait in line and then me and Chooch walked over to a Japanese gift store, at which point I lost him, but then found him again when he texted me and said he never left the store??

Anyway, when I saw Henry walk out of the bakery with literally just a cup of shaved iced a la Rita’s, I was sooooo mad. He at that point went back in and got the matcha soft serve that I had specifically asked for, in a separate cup, but it just wasn’t it, dawg.

I really thought it was going to be the GOOD “shaved ice” and not “actual shaved ice” so I poured bigly but now we are going to a vegan bakery to salvage the day.

Meanwhile, Chooch has been bidding on a “smart oven” all day, whatever that means, and keeps giving us updates.

2:12pm: just stopped here for spoiled son to get a game:

It was actually less creepy inside.

Healthcare send Heidi phone why need like cell? I have Spotify I don’t know why you talking about quiet woman here this time I think you would like that I thought of you like to wait for you little while 70s hits really put its way.

^^^^^ UM my phone auto-typed that based on the convo Henry and I were just having. Definitely leaving it in haha. 

2:37pm: Happy Little Treats!

Lady working here was very nice and the bakery itself is a delight! Interior design inspo….???

I got the cherry almond Poptart and it righted the wrongs created by Henry and Belle’s Bakery. It was JUST RIGHT.

3:59pm: We’re finally making our way home after taking a detour to NEWARK, OHIO which I am here to confirm is basically as a smaller but still shitty version of Newark, NJ. We went there because they had a gaming place but their board game selection was really slim so we walked in and basically walked right back out and Chooch was embarrassed about this for some reason.

I made Henry drive us through “downtown” and it was pretty shitty but the courthouse was pretty.

Then we passed the Longaberger Basket building!!

True story: I dated a guy briefly in high school whose mom was a Longaberger salesperson and every time I would call their house, the machine would say YOU HAVE REACHED BARB* FROM LONGABERGER BASKET” and it always sounded wrong to me, like she had meant to say “longberger” without the “a.”

*I actually can’t remember her name now just that she really didn’t like me which is on brand because none of my boyfriends moms ever liked me. Most of my friends moms don’t like me either so I guess it’s a “me” problem.

5:07pm: at a rest stop in Ohio somewhere between Zanesville and Wheeling. When Henry and I were getting out, Henry was being deaf as usual so Chooch said, “OMG I said it twice…three four times” harkening back to our second time in Korea when Henry flipped out on us at a cafe in a Jeonju (while sharing bingsu, coincidentally!!) because we were moving him and he said something about how “OK! You don’t have to repeat it twice three four times!” Of course, Chooch and I latched on to this and STILL reference it. So today in retaliation, Henry said, “fuck off two three four times.” OOH OK TOUGH GUY.

After peeing, Henry proceeded to do some weird ceremonial circling around the car and he was making us so nervous. Chooch kept yelling WHAT ARE YOU DOING I WANT TO GET HOME (apparently “getting the circulation flowing”) and at this same time I noticed that Chooch had a bag of HOT MUSTARD Doritos in the backseat with him so I exclaimed “Ooh I want to try it!” Chooch got real triggered by this and snapped I DONT WANT TO OPEN THE BAG so I said, “Wow, OK. It’s Mother’s Day but whatever” and he shouted OH MY GOD and threw the bag at me.

Hot mustard Doritos are good, you guys!!

7:50pm: Hello, checking in from home. Henry pretty much IMMEDIATELY went upstairs and collapsed into bed which is making me really scared to get old(er) because this was just a day trip? We didn’t do that much? He went to be bed at 11pm last night and we didn’t wake up to start getting ready to leave until around 7am. I was up until after 2am chatting with Janna and trying to teach her the names of THREE NCT members. Just three! I’m the one who should be passed in bed but mmm. Cook on, Henry.

To summarize, today was really good aside from the SHAVED ICE incident!