Every time I think I’m doing ok, the universe is quick to slap me with the reminder that NOPE. Still depressed. Still panicked. Still stressed. Still middle life crisis’ing.

This is our first holiday without Chooch at home. We did spend the day with him in Philly yesterday so it wasn’t all bad but I woke up today and just felt weird. Weird to not have a kid at home. Weird to not be doing anything for Easter. Weird to even just be HOME because in the past, this was typically spring break and we’d go away on a family trip so to even just be home on Easter with or without Chooch is disorienting. I definitely cried a few times today.

Not to mention, last year we were in Korea on Easter. </3 I know it’s ridiculous to think like this but I can’t help feeling as though my life has peaked and it’s all downhill from here.

/enter panic

Well, I guess there were some highlights from today (and it’s only late afternoon so maybe Henry will suddenly surprise me with an Easter basket, LOL YEAH RIGHT):

We got vegan donuts and a chicken sandwich (Henry) and fish sandwich (me) from Viridis which I would have to say is the best bet lately for vegan sandwiches in Pgh, and their donuts are excellent. We split the Taki Blue Heat and Chikn and Waffles:

Ugh, they were both delightful. The Takis one was weird in a good way, and I have to say, I love how chewy the actual donuts are.

And ugh, I am a SUCKER for vegan fish sandwiches. Viridis’ version is made with oyster mushrooms rather than tofu and along with the fried batter, it’s so good that I have to force myself to set it back down on the plate between bites so that I don’t eat it too quickly and make myself sick. Hopefully one day they will have a sit-down restaurant, but for now, we’re fine with take-out (well, what do I care – Henry is the one who has to drive downtown and pick it up hahaha).

Another highlight from today is that we have squirrel babies now that are out of the nest and out & about in the backyard. One of them took a peanut from me today <3 Additionally, we learned that female squirrels will often build their nest in places where they previously nested, as in, where they were born. And this mom squirrel made her nest next door in HNC’s porch roof where is where OG GIRL BUDDY (RIP) made her nests, so we THINK this could be Girl Buddy’s daughter, and these are her grandbabies. And now I’m crying again, lol. Before the babies came out of the porch roof nest, they would poke their little heads out and watch their mom sit on my porch and eat walnuts so I would hope they recognize me as their ally!

A lowlight from today was after lunch, Henry said he would play tennis with me. We drove all the way to my “home court” which is about minutes away, got there and I was happy before only 2 of the 4 courts were being used and both of the back courts were open (my faves) BUT THEN REALIZED HENY BROUGHT MY OLD RACKET INSTEAD OF MY GOOD ONE?!?! He was like, “Oh. Can’t you just use the old one?”

NO! AND HERE’S WHY: That racket was a basic starter racket from Dick’s that cost about $20, and I only bought it when I wasn’t sure if playing tennis again was in my cards, but then it turned out my obsession was reignited and I promptly bought a really good racket for $$$ and babe, there is no going back from that. Henry suggested that we “just go back home” and get it but you have no idea how much I cannot the stand the drive to these courts. So I snarled, “NO, ONCE WE GET BACK HOME, I’M STAYING THERE, THANKS FOR RUINING MY LIFE.” And then we came back home and he still tried to get my good racket so we could go back and I was like, “I SAID NO!” and then I grabbed my headphones and went for a walk around the neighborhood alone.

What a great day.

Just a friendly reminder that I was eating salt bread & drinking coffee in a cafe that was visited by Mino from Winner last Easter, UGH:

Bye.

The other day in work group chat, one of my co-workers was telling my friend Wendi about something in her part of the world (she lives in a very small town a good hour or so outside of Pittsburgh) called KRAYNAK and said something about it being something that people in her area liked to do for Easter. For some reason, my brain went STRAIGHT to Krampus so I thought this must be the alternate Easter narrative of Volant, PA, the symbol being a rabid bunny or something? It just sounded ominous.

Now, the only reason she was directing to just Wendi is because Wendi has a baby and she was giving her suggestions of things to do, I guess. That chat topic died out quickly but I was over on Google frantically looking up KRAYNAK.

It’s….just a gardening center in Hermitage, PA.

BUT!! They do this thing called EASTER LANE where they have several Easter-themed displays set up and you can, you know, walk down the “lane” to gawk at it. The pictures of past Easter Lanes looked just tacky & accidentally creepy enough to pique my interest. So I texted Henry and said, “We’re going to Kraynak’s this weekend” and he was like “OK.”

Right away, I will say these two things:

• it was an hour and 18 minutes away by car, which was annoying;
• it was right on a busy road in the middle of Hermitage which kind of subtracted from the ambiance, you know? I was expecting it to be tucked away in some rural knoll, actually, I don’t know what I was expecting, but this just immediately felt too commercial.

I immediately turned around to take a picture of the sign and almost got hit by some eager KRAYNAK shopper trying to park in the spot I was standing next to. Sheesh.

People were looking at me, too, with the unspoken inquiry of “why is this lady taking pictures of the sign?” woven into their frowns. I wanted to cry out, “WE’RE FROM THE BIG CITY, OK?” God, stop looking at me.

This place was pretty packed. But, it’s huge. It’s like a weird, stinky amalgamation of some boring ass hobby shop, plant nursery, and….off brand toy store? OK that’s not fair, they did have some name brand stuff but it was just bizarre shit like toys you’d expect to find in the same shop that sells model train accessories.

And random aisles of not-great candy scattered all around. No rhyme or reason. It was just one section after the next of strange FUCK YEAH AMERIKKKA yard ornaments and mini-travel games for kids. And Cow Tails. And these things were at the ends of every aisle, it felt like:

We did grab some stuff for Chooch’s Easter basket because we’re going to visit him next weekend. Then we got in line to creep down the Easter Lane:

I mean…it wasn’t as Sid&Mary Kroft as I’d have liked, but it was cute.

I liked this one because there were squirrels. Those muppet kids tho….

And then the last several exhibits were patriotic and religious. Of-fucking-course. :/

At the very least, they could have had a ghost Jesus floating here?!

After this, we continued to browse for a bit but I gotta tell you, I started to feel more and more uncomfy here. We were 100% in Trump Territory and I started profiling dads as hunters and moms as homophobes and then someone waked past me and either farted or just generally stank of shit and I cried uncle. I lasted a good 30 minutes there though!

My takeaway:

• this was not worth the drive (luckily, I had planned for this and found some other things for us to afterward in that general area so all was not lost)
• maybe it would be better with a kid?
• waaaaaaay too many shrieking babies and I did at one point ‘accidentally’ say out loud that I wanted to punch one of them
• Easter Lane could be better
• the line for pictures with the Easter Bunny was extremely long and the queue serpentined a few times, but the Easter Bunny himself was mid if you ask me. I am very picky when it comes to photogenic Easter Bunnies

I MIGHT (MIGHT!!!) be convinced to go back in December to check out the CHRISTMAS LANE. Tbd.

I promise I won’t do this every year, but this is our FIRST anniversary as a married couple and I am feeling nice about that today and was in my feels looking through pictures from our Korean Marriage Mission.  So, here are some (the only, actually) pictures of me and Henry from that trip! Most of the pictures were of Chooch, or of all three of us. Not too many of just me and Henry together probably because he IS SO ANNOYING to take pictures with.

(Henry. Yes, you are.)

In Gyeongju!

Our handmade wedding bands that we made in Hongdae!

LOL us with our marriage license; Chooch was SO PUT OUT that we asked him to CROSS THE STREET and come over to us to take this picture. He gave literally zero fucks about this whole thing because his life did not change at all.

I loved loved loved this place. 

Buddhist Food in Insadong!

Cheonggyecheon <3

We actually came here to take Chooch’s senior pictures, but he snapped some of us too, grudgingly.

I love this picture so much, thanks Chooch! I should probably get this framed.

Henry’s dumb face lol.

One of the BEST places to walk and a great place to watch the sun set. 

I hope that we get to go back to Korea again someday. I feel more alive there than I have anywhere else in my life and the fact that Henry was willing to marry me there means so much more than any traditional wedding we could have had here. It was no frills. Just us, in jeans. I actually couldn’t imagine doing this any other way and would not change a thing.

(OK, maybe I’d have eaten more salt bread. Lol.)

Ugh, I’m crying as usual.

I woke up today to a gift bag full of Totally Erin gifts:

I was cracking up because these could easily pass for a middle schooler’s birthday presents.

Speaking of…Henry said that he talked to his mom today. She said something along the lines of how it’s too bad he didn’t meet me before “that other one” and married me first. Henry was like, “Mom, I’d have gone to jail.” I mean, considering I was IN MIDDLE SCHOOL when he was marrying “that other one.”

So, then she said that he could have “waited for me” and I screamed, “EW, SHE WAS SUGGESTING THAT YOU GROOM ME?!”

That was such a sobering moment on The First Anniversary of Ruby & Hoover’s Marriage Fit for an LJ Post.

Anyway, baby’s first Enhypen album!

CHINGUS up here in the JIP

• Corey
• Amy & Dick
• Kara
• Janna
• Glenn & Amanda
• Chris & Monica
• Jill & Jack
• Wendi, Ben & BABY ROONEY
• Wendy
• Zakk
• Amber & Steve
• Lori
• Margie
• Cara
• Lauren
• Sean!

OK I’m going to be a sentimental bitchbaby here, probably for the duration of the whole post. I have looked at these pictures so m any times and felt so happy for truly one of the only times in the past year. The power of friends, you guys. They made me feel less alone in dark times just by sending simple texts (and also being a kitten scout – Kara!), but having them filling my house with laughter was THE TRUE MEANING OF CHINGUMAS. And even better is that I was able to hassle some of them into downloading the Party! camera app so that we could all see each other’s pictures the next morning and it was so fucking fun! It makes me want to have a fake wedding now so that we can use it on a grander scale, lol. Almost all of the photos in this post are from that app which is how I’m actually in pictures from my own party for once!

This wasn’t taken with the app, but here I am with my sibs Corey and Amy! Amy was super excited to sample all of the Korean beer and makgeolli!

Succulents from Jill <3

LOL tteokbokki smudge on my GD goblet. (I WAS DRINKING CASS AND I LIKED IT! Henry had it a few times in Korea and I had a sip once and said, “Wow, that’s actually not bad for beer” but now that I am a real beer drinker – haha – I appreciate it more.)

Actually, I don’t believe that anyone had any soju! Unless they weren’t using the shot glasses, I dunno!

Rooney was a fan of my clown town house :)

A lot of the pictures turned out this way because I was running into rooms, snapping and retreating. Also, some people (WENDY) didn’t know how to turn the flash off so some of these are a real treat and I was cry-laughing while looking through them!

Even Margie used it!!!

Zakk is Chooch’s Janna. He drags him over here every year for my holiday parties and Zakk is probably like, “Jesus Christ when can I go home?” Also, Chooch went to the store for me that day because I needed, well, everything and also I told him to get get a non-alcoholic holiday punch like the kind that Corey was pushing on him from Trader Joe’s on Xmas Eve. But Chooch couldn’t find anything pre-made at Walmart so he googled and found a “Jingle Bell Punch” recipe and subsequently came home with OJ, apple juice, cranberry juice and then had to go back out for Ginger ale. Also, I was going to go to CVS to get some bags of hopefully marked-down Christmas candy but Chooch said he would handle that too and came home with two big $15 bags of Kisses and Miniatures that weren’t IN HOLIDAY WRAPPERS. $30 for two bags of candy!!

But he did get Dolly Parton holiday plates, so that was something.

Cara stood with her purse on for a long time and I was afraid that meant she was going to leave early but she was one of the last to leave, phew. (She did eventually sit down next to Margie.)

SEAN CAME!! And he wore his BLAME HENRY pin from yesteryear. I saw him walk in and screamed from the back porch because I haven’t seen him since my last pre-covid Xmas party in 2019 when I didn’t want to have a party but Wendy made me. “Just have a small one. Invite Sean,” she said. Wendy is always strong-arming me into these things!

We must have been having a serious conversation. Also, Chris (& Monica!) always has the best hair.

Chooch was getting pelted with college questions all night long and learned that Lauren’s sister also went to Drexel!

Did I mention yet that we have a new doorbell that Henry made for me and I was getting so militant about people ringing the doorbell upon entry that if they failed to do so, I would shout at them to go back outside and try again?? Looking back, I feel like I yell at my guests at every party which begs the question: WHY DO MY FRIENDS KEEP COMING BACK? I’m such a party asshole!

Anyway, Margie in particular was like, “I didn’t see a doorbell! Where is it??”

“WHERE DOORBELLS ARE, MARGIE!” I cried. “IT IS LITERALLY LIT UP!”

All of this chaos over a lunatic doorbell.

Eventually, I wasn’t in the living room anymore and Kara took over as doorbell marshal. Between this and years of taking charge with reading the directions at game night, Kara is basically my second in command! Next year, I’m going to have special vest for herto wear, a la elementary school hall monitors, for when she’s on doorbell duty!

That’s Jill behind Amanda – I didn’t get any good photos of her, ugh! This was also her first time at my house and she is still chatting with me on Teams so I guess I didn’t completely scare her away. Meanwhile, Rooney and Jack played on the back porch and were both little delights. Chingumas is all ages, you guys!

The alcohol is NOT all ages though, lol.

This Party! camera is so weird – some pictures came out lovely and others look like I charged up my 2007 Blackberry for the night.

This was 100% when I was making Chris and Monica join the Party! camera. Monica started to do it and then said to Chris, “I’ll just let you handle this.” LOL.

I DON’T BELIEVE JANNA ASKED PERMISSION TO LAUGH.

Thoughtful trifle dissecting.

These pictures are definitely out of order.

Blurry but keeping! Lauren brought me a hostess gift from the Olive Tap – Sorrento lemon olive oil, which Henry quickly claimed was actually a gift for him and has been obsessing over it ever since. “No one ever brings me a gift!” he cried happily and when I reminded him that she gave it to me, he brushed me off and said, “Yeah, but she knows that I am the one who will be using it!”

He was even googling uses for it the other night and it was so annoying.

Old school work reunion!

Also, I love that we’re able to utilize the back porch and kitchen now because party guests can spread out – I remember our Xmas party in 2016 was one of the only times when every single person I ininvited actually showed up and, being contained to just the living room and dining room, it was such a fire hazard probably.

This was when I made Janna go back upstairs and come back so I could get a picture lol.

YES! Inkigayo sandwiches and a Kloud! Wendy was doing it right.

Everyone was reading the old “Book of Henry” that Chooch and I made, ugh, probably 10+ years ago!? I was so happy that it was getting read after all these years, and it was fun to retell old Henry stories, lol.

I can’t believe Monica agreed to hold a baby!

Amber and Lauren were work-gossiping which is the worst thing to when I’m within ear shot because I kept whipping around and saying things like, “WHO?” “WHEN?”

Anyway, Amber and her husband Steve came here straight from Steve’s work party which was a formal event. I was on the back porch when I saw them walk in and had NO IDEA who they were.

This looks like secrets are being spilled.

I truly can’t believe they sat through this all night.

LOL Corey took this picture of SERVICE ERA HENRY on the fridge.

They were playing some game, I don’t even know.

I dunno who brought these, but they were so good!

Corey’s sloppy plate. (I am sincerely so happy with how the trifle came out!)

OMG MORE SECRETS.

Is someone telling ME a secret now!?

Corey sat in that wheelchair for a long time.

LOL Margie took this of Janna.

I don’t even care about my massive double chin here – I was so giddy when Margie took this so it’s staying! This was when I was trying to help Amber download the Party! camera and she wanted a selfie with me to use as her profile picture and it took eleventy thousand tries.

Chronica foot selfie.

I know exactly what I’m doing here! I’m saying JANNA YOU IDIOT THE BOTTLE OPENER IS RIGHT THERE.

All of these adults orbiting the two teenagers all night, beer in hand.

My favorite thing about my parties is that all my friends from different circles end up talking to each other.

Wendy could NOT get her flash turned off!

LOL Lauren.

Me being an Inkigayo Sandwich server.

…and probably also me being an Inkigayo Sandwich defender!

Corey loves to get me going with old Janna stories and I was seriously almost peeing my pants telling the back porch crew about her Robitussin scandal, the time I made cupcakes for game night and made a “special” one for her, and the infamous Poopy Birthday Cake we made for her as a surprise many moons ago. This was me showing off the picture of it, which inspired questions like, “Why is there a Santa spitting out poop?” WHY INDEED.

This picture sums it all up!

Meanwhile, Kara pointed out that all of these years everyone has been like, “Oh poor Henry.”

“But what about Janna?” Kara asked.

“Justice for Janna!” Amanda said, and I almost peed my pants again.

I love this picture so much.

<3

Lori! I walked through the kitchen at one point while Henry was asking her questions about her house and I took that opportunity to offer up Henry’s handyman services, then kept going about my business.

Everyone but Janna and Corey had left by midnight so this was the after-party. It felt so good to lay back on this chair and relax. This was also the FIRST AND ONLY picture Chooch took using the Party! camera the whole night, because he had JUST DOWNLOADED IT right then. So annoying.

I did have a panic attack that night when I was trying to go to sleep which was weird because I did not feel one iota of stress the entire night. Maybe it was just social overload. Maybe that means I shouldn’t wait until the end of the year to hang out with all of my friends in one go??

I also felt that this year’s was a lot better than last year’s. I missed the people from last year who couldn’t attend this time, but I just felt so much calmer overall and when I think back to last year’s, I feel like I didn’t talk to anyone. This year, I had some good chats with pretty much everyone and it just felt really good. It was a good way to end a not so great year – with the reminder that if you have good friends in your life, things can’t be all that bad.

CHINGUMAS! CHINGUMAS!

For this year’s Chingumas, I thought it would be cute to make party favors so I bought some cute gift bags, filled them with thoughtful Korean treats, Ediya instant coffee sticks (Ediya is a really popular cafe chain in Korea, and forget what you think you know about instant coffee because Korean instant coffee is actually really good! I used to keep a box in my desk at work because whatever coffee we were provided with the coffee machine on each floor was…not good.). I spent weeks procuring the contents, and then a few more weeks convincing Henry to pose for pictures that we could turn into pocas  (photo cards) to also include.

LOL.

Henry also made little pots of vegan kimchi (original and cucumber-style) and I made labels for them because it’s the least I can do when a project involves food.

One of my favorite Korean treats is patbingsu, which is made of the softest, snowiest shaved ice, and flavored with pat (sweet red bean paste which is a staple in Asian desserts and one of my favorite flavors ever) and injeolmi – soft rice cakes covered in sweet soy bean powder which has a lightly sweet and nutty flavor. I had the great idea of taking that and making it into a trifle. Henry replaced the shaved ice with a sweet cream similar to that found in Korean bbang (bread/buns), the bottom layer was made of Choco Pie, a middle layer was crumbled matcha Choco Pie since matcha is also a very popular bingsu flavor, and then of course the pat layer. We topped it with just injeolmi and not more pat because people are weirded out by sweet red beans! It’s crazy to me how many people were like “nope, that’s disgusting” when I got to the red bean part of the ingredient explanation and am grateful to Kara who backed me up on the delicious “don’t knock it till you try it” virtues of pat.

This is patbingsu in its original form ^^^

And this is our trifle version of it:

We always included a small carafe of condensed milk to drizzle over each serving, a la the true Korean-style.

In full disclosure, Henry and I 100% were winging it. He did a trial run of the injeolmi a week before, but we left the rest up to fate and I am happy to say that it turned out better than I could have imagined! All of the flavors worked well. The Choco Pie soaked up some of the cream so it was moist and provided just the right amount of texture. Sorry to those who were too wimpy to try it because OMG beans. Ya gotta have at least SOME sense of adventure & willingness to try new things if you come to a party celebrating Asian culture!

The next contentious item was the mini Inkigayo sandwiches we made.

These sandwiches are very beloved in our family. The short version is that they used to be served in the cafeteria of the TV station that airs the weekly Inkigayo music show. Inkigayo means “popular song” and the show is sort of like TRL, to give it American context. These sandwiches were super popular with idols and there is even some lore behind them that idols were using them to covertly give out their phone numbers to other idols since everything has to be done secret because of dating bans in their contracts.

When fans found out about this, it made them want to try the sandwiches but they were not available to the public. Various convenience stores started making their own versions of the “idol sandwich” and we ate the fuck out of them the first two times we were in Korea. I heard that the cafeteria no longer makes them, possibly because the creator of the recipe no longer works there? Anyway, we loved them so much that Henry found a recipe and started making them for us to eat on Easter – Eastergayo sandwiches, lol.

I made these cutie foodpick flags from screenshots of actual Inkigayo footage.

The OG recipe has imitation crab meat, so Henry made some like that too and put it on a separate plate with different food picks in them to differentiate. I think everyone who tried one liked it but there were still a bunch of people were like BIG NOPE.

And to that I say BIG SHRUG.

(Although there was someone who said they just genuinely don’t like egg salad I think so I will let that one slide!)

My black sesame shortbread cookies! I loved how these turned out – they had the nostalgic texture of a Keebler Sandies, sort of?? And they weren’t too sweet which I really appreciated. Also, I say “my” cookies because it was idea to make them but all I did was order the cookie cutter and send Henry the recipe LOL.

KIMBAP FOR DAYS. We put vegan bulgogi and smoked tofu in some of them. I told Henry he had to make extra this year because last year we ran out very early into the party, and of course our biggest kimbap fans didn’t come this time so we had so much left. I wasn’t complaining though because I could live on kimbap so I ate very well for the next few days!

The one thing, my actual favorite thing, that I failed to photograph was the crockpot chockful of tteokbokki that we left on the kitchen counter. I love tteokbokki and would happily eat it every day if I wasn’t so hyper-conscious of my waistline. It is always the first thing I eat when we get to Korea! There is nothing in the world like a paper cup of tteokbokki served straight from a street food cart by an ahjumma. It is my favorite comfort food right up there with grilled cheese and now I’m wondering why I have never combined the two?!?! Tteokbooki halves inside of a grilled cheese?!?!

SHOULD THIS BE NEXT YEAR’S CHINGUMAS FINGER SANDWICH!?

FFEOK ME UP, TTEOK.

^^^ Actual footage of tteokbokki that we ate in Namdaemun Market on our wedding day! <3

Ugh, I love so many things about Korea and just want to spend the rest of my life sharing that with my friends no matter how hard they resist.

Here’s the box of treat bags and kimchi that sat there ALL NIGHT until I locked the door after the last person left at 1:30am and noticed it. I hadn’t given out the favors to a single fucking party person the entire night. Literally screamed, “MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRRR!!!” and then could barely sleep that night. Luckily, with the help of Chooch, a/k/a Mr. Always Looking for a Reason to Take the Car, I have successfully delivered these to most everyone at this point.

I’m excited for the next post, which is just a collection of pictures of my friends Chingu’ing it up with other. We really put so much effort into these parties, even crossing state lines (3x!) to round up Korean beer, and it means so much to me when people show up for this. Even when I yell at them for not ringing the doorbell and make them go outside and try again, or scold people for calling kimbap “sushi”* – I know I get a “little” out of control but it’s just in my nature! And if I’m having a Korean-themed party, it’s only right that I commit to the cause! I think everyone is used to it. “We’re going to Erin’s to get yelled at and have curious foods shoved in our faces. Not to mention constant kpop** in the background.”

Thanks for indulging me!

*(Next year I’ll have information sheets pasted throughout the house, but until then, here’s some facts to prove that they are different and I do believe that it would be pretty offensive to call it sushi in front of Korean, but that’s just me having thin skin when it comes to defending Korea I guess.)

**(here’s the playlist of YouTube videos which you will note is a BTS-free zone lol.)

I hated 2024 A LOT a lot. It was full of death, stress, college tuition hardships, mental and emotional breakdowns that had me wishing death upon myself more times than I can count most vividly in a parking garage outside of Chicago where I had the scariest fleeting thoughts of “what if I just jumped?”, all while trying to get comfortable in this new chapter of life where Chooch doesn’t live here anymore. I haven’t felt this out of control since my early 20s. This past year made me lose myself in ways that are terrifying and I have spent the second half of 2024 working through that in therapy but so far I still feel the same.

Yeah, there were good moments but the bad / tragic / traumatic really do overshadow what looks like it could have been one of the best years of my life. I don’t even have the energy to recap those moments so instead here is a picture of me casually blending into a rug and wishing it would just completely engulf me forever. C H E E R S.

I hope 2025 is gentle on all of us.

I’m really grateful that Corey offered to host Christmas Eve at his house this year. We put way too much money, time and effort into the planning of Chingumas 2024 and I think doing Christmas on top of that would have broken us. Granted, Henry still spent most of the day cooking but at least we didn’t have to set up and clean too, etc.

Oh!! I forgot to mention that a fucking HAWK came to hang out in the backyard THREE TIMES during the day. It was so maddening and took up a large part of the day, our amateur efforts to chase the fucker away.

Without hurting it, Chooch was pinging the tree branch with pennies from his window and Henry was trying to distract it with a laser pointer while I was trying to make sure he didn’t set his sights on any of the squirrels who were BLATANTLY frolicking around until they finally realized what was going on.

It’s probably a bad thing (ok it is and I know it) but the squirrels have a Pavlovian response to me and immediately started prancing around me thinking I had peanuts. I was HISSING, “Guys, be careful!!! Do you want to die!??”

Aish!! So annoying and stressful!! But Henry eventually scared it off when he tapped the laser pointer against our car – he could tolerate objects cruising past him in the tree but a TAPPING sound was far too much.

Buhbye motherfucker.

Corey’s famous spinach dip! It’s a running joke because this was all he could handle making when he hosted for the first time two years ago and he was sending me (of all people!) frantic text questions from the grocery store like I have a secret Julia Child gene waiting for that precise moment to present itself.

This time, he texted me the day before because he COULDNT FIND THE ORIGINAL RECIPE HE USED BEFORE! Luckily he found a substitute (they’re pretty much all the same though right??!!).

Apparently our dad gave him a wholesale quantity of paper plates so Corey’s been trying to use them up. Hence, these festive day of the dead plates (why did our dad have these in the first place????)

Everything was great! Henry made a vegan shepherds pie which I admittedly thought was just mid that night but in leftover form, it was fantastic. There was some red wine action going on in it and it was like the gift kept on giving as days went on.

My mom made some savory cornbread-ish casserole which was my favorite thing that night. She also brought her famous potato casserole which I loved since I was a wee one but Chooch was like THERE IS HAM IN THIS SUDDENLY and I said NO U MUST BE MISTAKEN SHE WOULD NEVER and Henry was like I CAN CONFIRM THAT SHE PUT HAM IN THIS.

I was lowkey moody about that.

Corey had this non-alcoholic option on hand for Chooch and kept plying him with it. HAVE MORE PUNCH! he kept saying, popping around corners, from under tables, hanging from the rafters with the bottle in hand. Chooch was like “what is the deal with this punch?!” OK, Uncle Jim Jones!

I was trying to go easy on Henry by suggesting that we just buy a pie to bring but after a few days of frustrating searching, he decided to just make a pie after all. Instead of something fancy and outrageous like I usually throw at him, I said he should hat keep it simple and make a sweet potato pie. As he was scrolling through recipes, I yelled, “Stop! Does that say PATTI LABELLES sweet potato pie?! That’s the one.”

Corey is mildly obsessed with the retro footage of Patti Labelle singing at a Christmas Tree Lighting ceremony in the 90s (I can’t remember what it was specifically but the Clintons were there and it was nationally broadcast, so not some podunk town’s festival or anything). She doesn’t know the words, the cue cards aren’t in the right order, she doesn’t have her backup singers and repeatedly yell-sings, “WHERE MY BACKUP SINGERS” – it’s a mess but soooo funny and she actually handles it pretty well considering. I’d have swan-dived off the stage into a nest of electrical equipment if that happened to me.

I want this to happen to Halsey now.

Anyway, Corey really appreciated this!

Conversation during dinner ebbed and flowed – when Corey and I were telling stories, everyone was laughing, but if Corey and I aren’t talking we’d probably go through the entire meal in silence. I eventually started peppering our brother Ryan with questions about Las Vegas (he goes A LOT and his trips are next level, is all I’m saying) and once you get Ryan talking, all is well.

But it does make me sad. I shouldn’t feel so uncomfortable around my family especially since we were all relatively close when I was growing up, but I just kind of feel that no one really cares about my life, what I do, etc. and you know, it is what it is.

Chooch found an old receipt for a picture that was taken somewhere in the pocket of this coat that I haven’t worn in years – we spent entirely too much time that night fixating on it and googling, but chooch and Henry came to the conclusion that it must have been from Dutch Wonderland when we went there in 2010.

What a seriously lame mystery.

Then me, Corey, Chooch and Henry played … Ugh I forget the name of it but it’s like the commercially packaged version of the lip reading game that Kpop idols always play. Henry and I were a team and we killed it – Henry is obviously really good at reading lips because he can barely hear but I think I’m just naturally good at everything in general, as expected. Just that I was born that way, you know.

Then the three of them played Scattergories. I retired from this game because when you always win at something, it gets old. You probably don’t know what that feels like but trust my word ok.

Apparently, Chooch has learned a lot from me because his answers were so questionable that I had to step in as a judge numerous times. Then Henry went to the bathroom and they didn’t want to wait so I was tapped in as his substitute and immediately blew Corey and Chooch out of the water, you’re welcome for the victory, Henry.

Afterward, Chooch began rifling through old historical answers that were still in the box and he goes, “oh this HAS to be one of yours” as he read off hysterical and alliterational made-up answers.

“No wonder people don’t want to play this with you anymore,” he said. Whoa whoa whoa where did he hear that from?!

(My mom brought a bag of old pictures over from her house and that’s what Ryan was doing in the background while my mom was watching TikTok videos or something probably.)

Apparently Chooch is really into the Seahawks?! When Ryan asked me a few weeks ago what he could get him, I was like “he’s randomly into the Seahawks for some reason” and Ryan was like, “the SEATTLE Seahawks? That is random but ok” and then proceeded to gift him a Seahawks starter set basically lol.

Corey got me this candle (lol) and I got him a “now-playing” sweatshirt with Avril Lavine’s I’m With You on it because that’s another thing he’s obsessed with and he sends me reels about it every now and then (it was more like “very frequently” there for a while lol).

And I got Ryan a set of pint glasses that have the street grid of Las Vegas engraved in it.

Ryan got me a bunch of Erin-centric thing including this balloon dog sculpture which is one of those things that I always say “ooh I want that!” when I see it in online shops but I never buy it for myself. Anyway, I was dying when we came home and put it on the beverage buffet because I realized just how perfectly placed it really is:

And that pretty much wraps up Xmas Eve! It hit me later on that this might be the last Christmas in this form for a while because next year, Chooch will be doing his co-op and he won’t get a traditional Christmas break. Whether he gets just Xmas Day, or also Xmas Eve, etc will be dependent upon the company his co-op will be at. So we might be going to Philly to spend Christmas with him there next year. Who knows.

Ch-ch-ch-changes. I can’t stand it.

The last several years, my brother Corey has been gung-ho about the Kelly sibs recreating old pictures. It sucks for me because Corey was born in 1990, at the height of my UG YEARS, so I look like trash in most of these pictures, but I still go along with it because that’s….that’s just the type of loving, supportive sister that I am!

Last year, I suggested a Santa picture for us to recreate, with Henry as Santa. I think Corey was utterly uncomfortable with the idea of sitting on Henry’s lap, so my suggestion was just kind of glossed over. This year though, Corey was like SHIT WE DIDN’T CHOOSE A PICTURE.

“Hear me out,” I said, which is usually the prelude to something sinister when coming from me. “We use that same Santa one I suggested last year, but CHOOCH will be Santa.”

Corey loved it.

Ryan was like, “I will do whatever you freaks say, just leave me alone for the rest of the year.” I mean, he didn’t say that but it was implied. I’m good at interpreting.

“Just so you know, you’re helping us with this year’s picture,” I said to Chooch earlier in the day on Christmas Eve.

“Yeah I know, I always take the picture,” he said.

“No….I mean, this time—”

“Don’t tell me I have to be Santa or something,” he sighed.

DING DANG DONG!

Here he is getting into the Kris Kringle zone while we were waiting for Ryan who we feared was about to pull a runner when we heard the front door open and close.

The Picture.

“You have to put your hands on my hips!” Corey scream-laughed while Chooch just looked like your typical apathetic 18 year old, like he was about to look at the imaginary TV documentary crew and say, “I came home from college for this.”

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Thank god for the “live” feature on photos because Corey’s laughter was the best part!

We also did this one, which was much easier even though they were originally on the wrong sides of me so we had to do a quick re-do right as Ryan was trying to flee the scene:

Ryan was like, “Jesus, your shoulder is low” lol.

And then a normal one!

Merry Christmas from us dumbos over here in Pittsburgh! It’s definitely been a weird one, not bad by any means, but with Chooch being a college kid now, the unwrapping of presents is kind of anticlimactic. Most of what we got him he’s either already received, it’s in the mail, or I’m just giving him my credit card to get himself after Christmas. He seems fine with it – he’s never been a bratty kid when it comes to things like that (unlike me LOL) and it’s just been nice having him home.

We did the whole Christmas Eve shebang at Corey’s with my mom and brother Ryan, so I’ll recap that here soon too – it was nice and we laughed A LOT.

Today, we went to Pink Box to get our traditional Asian buns, went to Homewood Cemetery where I had a mild fit because there were SO MANY people there strolling about and the spot where it’s most convenient for me to set up my tripod was a veritable hotbed of activity. I was getting snippy about it but it somehow, miracle of miracles, didn’t progress any further from a small, quick spark of irritation. Therapy. LOL.

So, we ended up going to our OG Christmas Cem spot – Uniondale on the Northside. It’s been a minute since we were there (Henry pointed out to Chooch where I wrecked the car in 2022 and blamed on him hahah) and it was nice. Chooch, suddenly into football, was glad because it’s on a hill above Heinz Field (get the fuck outta here with that new name, I refuse) so he was able to hear the Steelers game in person. Suddenly, he was OK with cemetery pictures.

Dude, I just really love my dumb little family and will grasp any opportunity for a family photo!

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I spent a large portion of my last therapy session jawing off about how whack my childhood holidays were from middle school through high school and then even into my early adult years, and how because of that, I have been extra cautious about making sure holidays were normal for Chooch.

Then at the end of the session, she asked if I had any fun plans that weekend and I said, “Yeah, we’re decorating our Christmas tree, which is a mannequin!”

She was like, “omg.”

It just…feels so normal, though!

Janna and Corey came over to “help” by which I mean they sat with me and watched as Henry did 90% of the Trudying while I forced my favorite Belgian beer on them [GULDEN DRAAK, in case you ever need to get me a gift and don’t know (or care to know) how to navigate the world of Kpop merch].

Also, I made them download the link to my PARTY CAMERA so all of the pictures you see here are the cumulation of all three of our POVs.  I’m hoping to use this for Chingumas too but I know it will probably just be us three using it then too because I can never even get my friends to take pictures at my parties in general, let alone downloading a new camera app to use.

I don’t think these pictures are in order for some reason but who cares. All I know is that this was the nicest, funniest, most “normal” night that I have had possibly all year. No exaggeration. It almost felt like the way things used to be before everything started to fall apart this year. I can honestly say that I felt happy.

I mean look – that is the ugly face of laughter! Chooch had probably said something disparaging about Henry at this moment.

A different angle – probably laughing at the same thing!

I also made Corey and Janna watch the GD/BIGBANG performance at the MAMA Awards. I think it’s safe to say that they were not impressed but I was just happy to be watching it for the 87th time! Even Henry stopped what he was doing and loomed in the entry to the living room, watching from a distance like the plain-clothed Michael Myers that he is.

Ugh I hate this game so much but Chooch in was Game Master mode so we had to oblige him.

We all said “absolutely not” when he pulled out Trivial Pursuit.

My fancy Chouffe glass!

Chooch won, and that’s all that matters, I guess. If it can’t be me, it has to be him.

LOL Henry couldn’t use the party camera because he has an ANDROID.

I am clearly very into this glass – I didn’t even realize I took that many pictures of it.

We had Henry take non-party camera pics of us with Trudy.

What even is this lol.

Corey left around 10, Chooch bailed around 10:30 for a better party, and Janna stayed until 1AM learning 9 of the 13 members of Seventeen lol. It was a really solid night. I’m grasping at the fleeting memories of it, trying to hold on as long as possible before “real life” fully creeps back in. Sigh.

You guys, I think I was so excited about having Chooch home from college that I focused too hard on having the “perfect” Thanksgiving and then I ended up being sick-adjacent most of the day (I felt mildly feverish and like I was on the verge of a stomach thing but it never developed into anything). Really, it was supposed to be a laid back Thanksgiving – we got a vegan meal kit from Viridis so that Henry wouldn’t be in the kitchen all day, but then he was STILL in the kitchen all day because he picked that day to make kimchi for Chingumas.

I barely had it in me to even set the table let alone take pictures of it.

The food was underwhelming. I mean, it wasn’t BAD by any means but I guess it was just kind of boring (that mac n cheese was fire though) and the annoying part is that for as expensive as it was, there was no dessert!? Bro, you couldn’t have added a slice of vegan sweet potato pie up in that piece?

We knew this at least so we prepared by buying a boxed mix of bibingka which is a Filipino coconut cake that I made the year we had an international Thanksgiving. About 25 minutes before it was time for dinner, Henry dropped the bibingka cake-down onto the floor as he was pulling it out of the oven, and he burnt his hand on it but instead of me asking if he was OK, I was just like, “Cool now we have no dessert.”

Don’t worry – the box had two packages of mix inside so Henry made the second one. It came out dry and with burnt edges and he was like DON’T START when I opened my mouth to criticize him.

Also, looking at that picture I realized that I didn’t eat a single bite of that salad. Oh well. Ugh.

And since he had burnt his hand, he was in a BAD MOOD and being a total dick so then I got mad and then we were bickering and Chooch was like, “Cool – home sweet home.”

Ugh holidays. I wish we had had enough time (and money) to just go to Dollywood like we have done in the past because that is our happy place – Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge in general – we rarely fight when there! But no, we stayed in Pittsburgh and ate in near-silence (it can never be fully silent with the way Henry eats).

We were begging Chooch to tell us stuff about college but he is SO MYSTERIOUS. All we know is that he loves Drexel, his grades are great, and he already had three good friends that want to room altogether next year. That knowledge was really all we needed to make this salvageable Thanksgiving. Ugh, this year though. This motherfucking year. Having Chooch home is so awesome but it’s also picking the scab off my Bambi wound. She would have been so happy these past couple of days, having him home.

First Thanksgiving without her. In that cat grief book that Corey sent me over the summer, one of the big takeaways for me was the fact that you kind of have to go through every season of mourning, you have to get past all of the “first <whatevers> without the loved one.” This was the first Thanksgiving. The first Xmas will be really gross and unbearable, I’m sure. This really sucks so bad. So bad. It’s almost December and I’m still crying every day. When does it stop hurting.

Obligatory family Thanksgiving photo.

After dinner, Penelope came downstairs and cuddled with me. She knows. I don’t think she really misses her sister, but she knows.

Sorry – this was so negative. It really wasn’t a bad day, just the dinner portion which I don’t really care that much about anyway, and I know that what really matters was that we were all together. The next day / night was so much better so I’m not too mad about things.

Hello from Thanksgiving! It is so weird having Chooch home! I know he has only been away at college since September but it feels so much longer. And just like old times, he didn’t wake up until nearly 1PM and then came downstairs to take up space and complain (OK but mostly because I was trying to make him watch Seventeen videos).

Penelope was rolling around on the floor, playing with her toys, and I effing swear to god she would stop every once in a while and look back at Chooch as if to see if he was watching. It was so cute but I still think she hates him muchly.

Then he went to the Teen Center to interview the lady who runs the place, since she apparently is more interesting than his own mom and makes a better profile subject. Mmmm. He came home long enough to bitch about things and then went to the mall with his friends (and my credit card ughhhh I miss the days of Working Chooch) so Henry and I chilled out with some kpop content and beer. First I tried this Orval Trappist beer because I was convinced that I love monk stuff but this one was NOT GOOD.

“It smells like the pee of a sick person,” I reported as I pushed my glass toward Henry because he is like the sink drain for my beer rejects. Sorry, but I’m not wasting calories on a gross beer??!!

Henry found a Blue Moon in the back of the fridge and thought it would be a good idea to drink that next. Hello, it was probably left over from a party and who knows how old it was. Blue Moon was one of the first and only beers I was able to tolerate back in the day and if we were at a concert or festival and they had it, Henry would always share his with me because I could never drink a full one on my own and we all know how much concert beer costs. Anyway, I went to have a sip and Henry abruptly warned me it tasted bad and tried to stop me. But I was like I WILL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT.

“Ugh!” I grimaced. “It tastes like—”

“Stop! Don’t ruin it,” Henry pleaded.

“–the interior of an old car. Like if you ate an ace bandage.”

“OK great. That’s enough. Thanks.”

LOL, like I was actually done. “It tastes like Camden Park, like if you licked the duct tape holding together one of the rollercoaster seats,” I continued.

I’m pretty sure he dumped it out after that.

I did have one of my Chouffes though and even though it was an IPA, I found it to be quite refreshing and delightful. Even Henry liked it and was waiting for me to split it with him but I said, “Nah, I’ll just drink the whole thing, but thanks.”

😊

(LOL the TV in the background is showing the livestream from Incheon airport where Dispatch was waiting for Seventeen’s arrival and you better believe we sat here and waited with everyone else because we are legit Carats.)

Wait, real time update: I came downstairs and Henry is ROCKING OUT in the kitchen to Seventeen’s “Hot” while making vegan kimchi. Welcome to Thanksgiving at the Kelly-Robbins shanty.

Today has been pretty chill so far (literally) – I went for a walk in the rain this morning which I majorly regerted afterward and will probably be getting sick soon. But other than that, I have just been relaxing (well, after I got my workout in – I’m trying to get back into a fitness routine and of course I chose Thanksgiving week to kickstart that, like a fucking freak), watching some shows on Hulu, adding some Kpop Christmas cards to my Hello Hanguk shop because I am finally feeling a tiny bit creative again after like, years of not.

We got premade vegan Thanksgiving meal kits from Viridis so I’m looking forward to having that tonight. We have never had anything from Viridis before so this was really a shot in the dark but hopefully it’s good? Wish we lived closer to Seitan’s Realm because their T-giving meals looked fire. I love Seitan’s Realm so much.

Um, I guess that’s all! Just trying to use this bitchin’ space for more free-style type of posts because my therapist said that would be good. (Also, I googled “is it unethical to invite therapist to Christmas party” and I’m sure you already know the answer because even I knew the answer even though TV CHARACTERS ARE ALWAYS INVITING THEIR THERAPISTS TO EVENTS but gentle reminder to myself that I am not a TV CHARACTER, just a BROOKLINE ERIN, but anyway – this is how I learned about “transference” and how therapists are required to immediately refer their patients to someone else when that happens. HOW EMBARRASSING.)

Wait one more thing! Henry is back in the kitchen doing cooking things and Stray Kids’ Lose My Breath just came on and I got SO STOKED all over again about seeing them again next year! I told Henry to turn it up and he tried to get Echo to do it but Echo was like, “OK I WILL STOP THE SONG” and then it took him forever to get it to restart so consider the mood killed.

Pasting this from Instagram because I’m lazy.

It’s Halloween aka Feeding Children from the Plastic Pumpkin In Addition to Squirrels aka Erin Pretends to Know How to Interact with Children.

We’ve had two kids so far. One had a toddler sibling waiting in a wagon with the parents so I said to the kid, “Do you want extra candy for your….little….brother….or whatever” and stopped my myself before ending with “that is.”

I predict I’ll get one more customer before the night ends. :/

Speaking of squirrels (the treat beggars I can count on) I was trying to get Buddy to say Trick or Treat when he came to the porch for a walnut earlier and some passerby stopped to watch the interaction and then had a full blown conversation with me from the sidewalk and that is how I died a little today. #strangerdanger

ETA:

-I had tossed in some extra POLLITO ASADO lollipops from @lkfucetola’s farewell fiesta 2 years ago but after handing them out to the first 2 kids, I think they may have been expired plus they felt….wet. So I dug the rest out of the pumpkin don’t worry future trick or treaters.

-I’m tired from handing out to candy to 5 children (A RECORD NUMBER FOR US) and I just saw more kids approaching so I yelled at Henry to come in from the backporch and actually DO SOMETHING and he said, “Sorry, I was trying to eat my dinner out here since I’m not allowed to chew near you.” Just a little glimpse into MARRIED LIFE lol. (It’s the same.)

This holiday is so weird now that I am an empty nester. :/

ANOTHER UPDATE; a group of high school kids were walking on the other side of the street and I stood at the door and made a creepy “come here” hand gesture and they FUCKING SHRIEKED “CANDY!!!” and ran across the street to my house so fast I thought they were going to tackle me lol. Henry rolled his eyes and said, “you’re so needy” to me and he’s also annoyed bc trick or treating ended 30 minutes ago but bitch we broke a record–TWELVE KIDS!!!

Literally. So. Boring.

But, this was by my own design, I guess. I sacrificed going away and doing something fun for the long weekend in favor of choosing the previous weekend for Cedar Point. Not that that weekend ended up being any less crowded, I’m sure! Then, Chooch waited until 6PM on Friday to decide for sure that he was going to visit Julian (his roommate in Mexico!) in DC for the weekend. Julian was in town visiting his dad and asked Chooch WEEKS in advance if he wanted to come down but Chooch being Chooch kept hemming and hawing, I dunno what he was waiting for, so then we ended up having to pay over $200 at the last minute to get him a roundtrip Greyhound (which was delayed bigly there and back) and that pretty decided for us that we do nothing all weekend.

And you know how well I do with doing nothing.

NOT WELL.

Saturday afternoon, we drove out past Elizabeth, PA with the intent of buying flowers at some nursery that we like on 51, but first we went to a cemetery for a walk and I hated the cemetery – it was our first time there, it was small, and packed with Memorial Day revelers. I always forgot that it’s a big grave-visiting weekend.

I threw a body-image-related fit, cried about hating myself, took a picture of the river and some lame town over the edge of the cemetery, and then we left. Henry went the wrong way on 51 so I screamed I GUESS WE’RE NOT GETTING FLOWERS NOW and he was like YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO GO HOME BUT I WILL TURN AROUND and I was like HOW ABOUT I SHOVE A STICK IN YOUR ASS AND THEN YOU CAN TURN AROUND – I was just in A MOOD all fucking day.

Then I declared that I needed lunch and I couldn’t wait until we got home so I made Henry go to Sheetz to get me a veggie wrap and I stayed in the car because NO ONE WAS ALLOWED TO LOOK AT ME. There were three old men chilling at an outside table drinking beer and talking about sledgehammers which was considerably more interesting than my dumb Saturday.

I took this later that night to send to Chooch while he was out doing fun DC things. Not me writhing around, moaning in the key of boredom, with Tokyo Disney food review videos on in the background.

Sunday was a little better – well, to start. I decided to do a 14-day metabolism reset so Henry was like F M L because this means he has to help me since I don’t like cooking. He has been trying to prepare my lunches the night before (breakfasts aren’t too hard for me, if you can believe it) and he has been so stressed about it. Like bro, this is 14 days out of your life and you can still eat your Reeses and soft pretzels in the car like usual.

Side bar to say that it’s been a week and I have lost 4 pounds BUT what I care about the most is that I’m starting to look like my old self again, less bloated, and Henry said I look healthier in general. The stress of 2024 so far has definitely made its mark on me, lol.

Anyway, commercial break over.

I had a much more positive outlook on Sunday. We went to some trail that goes along the river between Butler and Freeport or something, I actually have no clue where we were, and it was a really nice walk. The weather was so good. The bikers were obnoxious as  usual. (I HATE WHEN BIKE AND WALKING TRAILS ARE SHARED.) I called Henry a cunt at least 87 times with so much love, and we had some good talks about Korea, Chooch going to college, Seventeen and Stray Kids alleged upcoming tours. Big talks, you guys. Big talks.

At the beginning of the trail, there was a bulletin board with an ad for a local coffee shop in Freeport and I was like PLEASE CAN WE GO I NEED COFFEE OR I’LL DIE and Henry was like oh no anything to keep you alive, sweetheart bubblebee angel snugs.

Originally, I was going to just wait in the car but then I thought, “Eh, let’s see what vibe this FREEPORT CAFE has.”

Boy-o, let me just say – glad I went in! First of all, I want to say that the baristas were very nice. I’m supposed to be cutting out sugar to the best of my ability (I HAD THREE BUTTERSCOTCH HARD CANDIES THIS WEEK OK? CALL THE FUCKING SUGAR POPO ON ME. CHRIST) so I just got an iced latte with almond milk and no syrups. It was delectable. If you can’t drink a cafe’s coffee/espresso without sugar, then that cafe sucks.

While Henry was waiting for his drink, he went to the bathroom which gave me some time to really absorb the quiet, country atmosphere of this space. And the blue walls! So when Henry came back the bathroom, I was already seated a table. “We’re staying,” I said, and he was like, “Thank god” because all he had on the horizon was yard work and cooking more meals for me. He was quite happy to postpone those festivities.

Ugh.

I’m glad I went in though because if I had asked Henry what it was like inside when he came back to the car, he’d have said something like, “I don’t know, it was like a cafe. It had some tables.”

Also though, they have really great seasonal drinks on rotating so I’m excited to go back next Sunday when my 14 days are up!

Then, later that night, perhaps around 8:30, THE ELECTRICITY WENT OUT. There was a thunderstorm and one of those things exploded or whatever. Henry saw it and hurried up and called his mom and then wrote it in his THINGS I HAVE SEEN log on a page opposite of the list of military planes he has identified in the air.

Anyway, you guys, I was DYING. Literally so BORED. Floundered on the couch like a fish being cooked in sizzling ennui. Inconsolable. Henry was like CALM DOWN and that was just  making it worse. Chooch was sending me updates from DC, eating dinner at Murphy’s Pub, surrounded by the illumination of electricity, watching a band play instruments powered by electricity, etc etc and so on and so forth while I was trying to make objects move with my mind I WAS THAT BORED.

Around 10:00, the electric company truck rolled slowly past our house and I SCREAMED IN JOY, and then my joy swiftly morphed into panic and desperation as I cried HELP US! out the window, causing Henry to beg me to stop/sit down/shut up/other commands commonly utilized by cis white males.

When the electricity didn’t IMMEDIATELY come back on, I started panicking again.

“They have to send the trucks out to find the problems first! Then they will report it and fix it! Calm down!” Henry said, because when you’re born a cis white male, you’re pre-installed with various utility knowledge too without ever having to work for any of those companies.

Finally, around 11:15, after Henry refused to walk down the street where the supposed INCIDENT occurred to see what was going, and after HOURS of obsessively checking the REPORT AN OUTAGE page for updates, I said that I was going to report it again (Henry: “Well, they already know…”) so that I could ADD A DESCRIPTION:

I smugly thrust my phone out to Henry who had been warning me to please not make threats or swear because this was connected to our account and WAS JUST ABOUT TO HIT NEXT when the lights sputtered on. And you’ve seen my house, so going from pitch black to NEON CENTRAL in 0 seconds flat is quite a spectacle. It was like the Las Vegas Strip rebooting.

So that was a fun night!

Memorial Day itself was lame. This was the first time in quite a few years that we stayed home, which meant we got to see that dumb parade. It was also Tamanna’s first time watching it and she was recording it in the beginning and then lost interest and went back inside lol.

The fact that there are two Finleys scares me.

I fucking hate it so much when these assholes fire their idiot manly man-man rifles. It should be banned! This is triggering to many people and also rude and insensitive to the area animals!!

“Complain about it,” Henry mumbled.

“You know what maybe I will!” I cried. “Now that I know Dormont has a mayor!”

Henry frowned. “You…didn’t know that?”

“No, not until that time he liked my tweet,” I said.

Henry, now looking worried, tentatively asked, “What…was the tweet?”

“‘wow apparently Dormont has a mayor’.”

Henry: “…..”

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Dude this religious prayer cohort is new-to-me. Totally unexpected! My work friend Maggie lives in a neighboring town that also gets visited by this dumb parade and she said one of those guys splashed her with holy water! “That’s assault, brother,” she said in her comment on my reel. Agreed! Some of us like having evil residing within our skinsacks.

Meanwhile, Chooch’s bus home was delayed by nearly three hours so he got to live his best life by renting a city bike and tooling around the empty city at 7am, sending me pictures of the Mr. Gray Guys (squirrels) that were frolicking around.

Yeah, I really don’t think I have anything else to add. It was….a weekend.

Well, New Years Eve was alright! We never ever ever plan anything. I don’t even ask people to come over, honestly, because I’m so paranoid of DUIs/accidents/etc. I just want everyone to stay safe! So, we stay in every year, and it’s always cozy and regular-egular*.

*(Ew. I have never said that before. 2024 is off to a wild start!)

Now that I think about it, was this the last time we had a NYE guest??? Good lord that was a fun night. *promptly texts Christina the link*

Earlier that day, Henry brought his mom over. She was supposed to come over Christmas Day, but IN CASE YOU MISSED THE MEMO, I WAS PUKING.

Some things to note:

• Chooch works early on weekends, comes home and immediately naps like an old man (see also: Henry). He tried to stay awake while Judy was here but she and Henry were talking about People From Before Our Time so he was easily lulled to sleep.
• That saucer on the floor is what I feed the cats their treats on and it pisses off Henry and Chooch so much because there are two of them that they constantly kick around the house (saucers, not cats; they wouldn’t be living here any longer if they were kicking cats, FYI).
  • WAIT, YOU CAN SEE BOTH IN THIS PICTURE, LOL.

Per Judy’s request, Henry made kimbap. A few days later, my mom texted me like, “What are these pinwheels things with spinach that Judy is talking about??” LOL. That makes them sound so American.

Almost immediately upon arriving, Judy retold (unbeknownst to her) the heavily-fictionalized story of Henry climbing a tree, and the time she and my mom met some guy at McDonald’s and then my mom suddenly suggested that they follow him which, knowing my mom, TRACKS. My mom, however, aggressively disputes this memory. The two of them went out together today and when my mom texted me to tell me that she just dropped Judy off and they had a good time, I asked, “Did you pick up any guys??”

She chose to ignore that.

Judy and Trudy! (And Chooch.)

Hold please while I post the most unflattering picture of Henry, LOLOLOL:

Later that night, Chooch actually graced us with his presence for several rounds of this 80s and 90s humming game that I am SO FUCKING GOOD AT and Henry “I Was In Chorus” Robbins is embarrassingly bad at. Chooch also is really good and we can usually guess each others’ humming because we’re savants.

Anyway, on one of my turns, I got to choose any option from the card I had, so I chose Kate Bush’s “Running up that Hill” knowing Chooch would get it because of Stranger Things. He did (Henry did not) and I said, “It was between that and Tiffany” because he also loves “I Think We’re Alone Now” because of Umbrella Academy, and he goes, “Kate Bush and Tiffany are basically the same person.”

Mmm….are they though? Are they?

Also, I just realized that those are both from two shows that I always relate to each other so that’s a wild realization, come into my mind, it’s a fucking rave up in here.

Party cats.

Yeah, so that was a night. It was ok! I thought that I had drunk so much when I stood up and stumbled, but Henry pointed out that I only had one beer, LOLOL.

The next day, Chooch worked and Henry slept for HOURS because big baby was soooo tired boo hoo. Please. So I spent almost all day alone :( But then the idiot woke up and we went to Carnegie Coffee because I wanted matcha. It was pretty good. We also shared a cinnamon roll cake but I should have gotten my own because it was fucking good, man.

But yeah, mostly it was just a really boring and dreary day. Henry made soondubu jjigae for dinner, so that was a nice cozy New Years dinner. Then we just watched Korea cafe vlogs all evening and I cried about missing Korea. Typical.

I’ll tell you what though, I’m ready for HOLIDAY SEASON to be in the past. I still have my decorations up, but they will come down this weekend OK don’t judge me. Christ.