Nov 282021
 

I wasn’t going to LiveBlog because we woke up late and now we can’t do all the fun stuff I wanted to do on the way home (ok it was just one fun thing and I wasn’t really married to the idea but whatever).

But I’m bored and need something to do so here we are.

It’s 10:30 and we just stopped at this place screaming about PEACHES PECANS AND FIREWORKS. We went there specifically to see if we could find any good deals on peanuts for the squirrels (lol my life) but they only had bags of RAW p’nuts which are not good for my Buddys and Grays!

Instead we spent $40 on deep fried peanuts, strawberry peanut brittle, locally made soy candles, lip balm, and beard balm. And something called Divinity that Henry tried to not share with me but I ripped it out of his hand.

I could have spent more money there, easily.

I didn’t see any real peaches there and made the mistake of saying so, and now I’m enduring a spiel from Farmer Hank about how peaches are out of season. I wonder where he hides his Farmers Almanacs.

Omg henry is so annoying. He keeps changing the route while he’s driving in an effort to bypass anticipated traffic. “This will put us through the top of Tennessee,” he said. “What’s the top of Tennessee?” I asked. “Not the bottom,” he replied. I MEANT LIKE WHAT CITIES BUT OK MR LITERAL.

Hi it’s almost noon. Henry and I talked about LGBTQ+ issues, nutrition, and Slutty Vegan for like an hour in case you were wondering why I wasn’t updating lololol. Now we’re at a gas station and Dunkin’ Donuts in Athens Georgia because why wouldn’t we have left Georgia yet. I had an annoying gas station bathroom experience thanks to a loud mom and her 12 children. Also I broke a nail last night when pulling down my restraint on Georgia Scorcher and I need a nail file but have not found one at any place we stopped. Also my macchiato (“macchiato” – very LOOSE definition) tastes like hot water. Henry tried to stir it by shaking it and sprayed “macchiato” everywhere so I yelled about how I “try to keep the car clean but then YOU PEOPLE–”

“Is ‘you people’ me and Chooch?” Henry had the audacity to interrupt.

“ANYTIME I SAY YOU AND PEOPLE IT ALWAYS REFERS TO YOU AND CHOOCH” I yelled. Because hello really??

Twenty five minutes later. In Tennessee. We just drove past a giant cross. I blurted out, “Giant crosses are pathetic” and I dunno why I said that other than the power of Satan compelled my tongue.

Also, earlier in the drive I was fixated on the fact that we don’t pronounce sugar soo-gar and now Henry says “SOOGAR” every time he sees a sign that has sugar on it. So that’s a cool linguistic monster I created.

1:11pm and I was just vocalizing how I imagine Henry would be right now if he’d never met me: sitting in a tattered recliner in a sweat-stained wife beater, shotgun propped up against the side, long greasy hair, knife in a holster of his belt which also features a huge belt buckle since he’s an OTR truck driver, eating a HUNGRY MAN tv dinner while shotgunning a generic beer and watching–

“NCIS?” Henry cut me off with a sigh.

“No, GRACE UNDER FIRE,” I shouted, choking on laughter. “And who’s that other asshole…JEFF FOXWORTHY.”

“I used to listen to him before he was famous,” Henry said and I think he meant it as a brag???

“Wow congrats. You were a redneck hipster.”

1:51: THIS JUST IN–at a Pilot somewhere in Tennessee and THERE WERE FOUR OF US BROADS IN THE BATHROOM WEARING MASKS. I felt like I was with MY PEOPLE.

2:25pm: had a fight about maps. Chooch actually defended me by pointing out that HENRY can’t even read a map. Thanks, Backseat Son.

Anyway here are mountains. Maybe the Smokies? Who can be sure. No one can read a map.

Also just passed a billboard for HEAVENLY STITCHES: a quilt store. Cool.

2:53: GUYS. WE JUST WENT TO PAL’S SUDDEN SERVICE. I have been OBSESSED with this fast food chain since we saw one Friday night when henry abruptly pulled off an exit to go to Dunkin’ Donuts and one was right next store. I AMOST forgot about it until today when Henry was saying stuff that I wasn’t listening to as usual and then casually added, “and then you can go to Pal’s” and I was suddenly ERECT WITH ATTENTION.

The exit sign is A POINTING HOT DOG!!!

I got a toasted cheese!!! I made Henry get a Mello Yello so I could drink some because I didn’t want my own!

Henry tried to pay at the ordering window and the girl LAUGHED AT HIM and said, “oh no, you pay at the pick up window” like Henry had asked to see the basement. It was such a highlight.

Here are pictures I took Friday night:

I need a Pal’s t-shirt SO BADLY NOW.

6:00pm: HENRY made me drive for the last TWO HOURS most of it was GRIDLOCKED TRAFFIC in Virginia, while he slept like a precious WHITE MAN. My nerves are shot now. I pulled over to switch with him RIGHY BEFORE the dumb toll thing which I had to drive through on Friday too and it was so annoying because we have EZ Pass but were behind CANADIANS who had to dig around their car for change and I was very unhappy with our NEIGHBORS TO THE NORTH in that moment.

Anyway did I mention that I’m in a bad mood now? Because I am. Fuck off Henry. If you even ever read this!!!!!

Omg he just had the audacity to say something about me complaining about driving when he still has to drive for 3 hours and 45 minutes and I was like, “yeah and you got to sleep for 2 hours so I dunno why you’re complaining!” But now he’s saying he wasn’t?? Um I’m sorry but when he bitched about the remaining time left he has to drive, that was him LODGING A COMPLAINT. Fuck off!!

6:25: Hi. My other dream was to go to Tudor’s Biscuit World & get a motherfucking biscuit since all my other biscuit dreams were crushed on this trip. Now we’re here but we got stuck behind an elderly couple who just materialized from outer space and we’re ecstatic to order human food except they had no idea how. But at least they’re wearing masks!

OK REPORT’S IN: BISCUIT WAS WORTH IT.

I loved our experience at Tudor’s was amazing and I am very happy. My favorite part was when Henry accidentally threw away all the plates into the garbage can:

And then couldn’t find anyone to tell because they were all outside smoking. So when he found them on our way out, the one lady was like “oh it’s alright. We’ll just leave them there” and the other lady said she wouldn’t tell. Henry’s such a chump.

Also, I feel like I missed out by not ordering the CAPPICINO:

8:25pm: I just changed Henry’s Waze profile to this and I’m crying and he’s in the drivers seat going WHAT. WHAT. WHAT DID YOU DO. STOP FUCKING WITH MY STUFF!!!

I just spit on myself trying to hold in another round of hyena-level laughter.

I just signed him up to be a Waze carpool driver and I’m crying.

I’m nice but don’t like to talk much unless it’s about military airplanes and the TV show Monk.

I gave myself a stomach ache.

I’m so overheated from laughing that I’m sweating. I tried to show Chooch my hard work and he said I DONT CARE. Meanwhile Henry is over here panicking, wondering what damage I’ve done to his impeccable Wave profile.

9:06: we still have 90 minutes left *SCREAMS INTO A PILLOW EXCEPT I DONT HAVE A PILLOW SO THIS IS JUST A REGULAR FULL-VOLUME UNSUPPRESSED SCREAM*

9:20: Listening to my old COCK ROBIN jam and I said, “I’m not sure how I ever knew about this song. I don’t think I’ve ever heard it on the radio.” And, with a SMIRK, Henry said, “probably from one of those dumb CDs you used to buy.”

LOLOLOL: he means all the COMPILATION CDs I used to get via MAIL ORDER using my mom’s credit card lol.

https://open.spotify.com/track/3d6zRaJbLV2XvxY93Yow1l?si=6EtYY8nTQ1KAX2Wo4sOwTA&context=spotify%3Asearch%3Acock%2520robin

I guess I will post this worthless account of nothingness now. Will update if anything interesting happens??

UPDATE: I only accumulated 2500 steps thanks to basically driving non-stop all day. We got home at 10:35 tonight and I was DETERMINED to meet my daily goal of 12000 (I usually get way more than that but 12000 is what I have FitBit set at). I walked/jogged in place from the moment I walked in the door, pausing only once for a pee break, and I met my goal WITH TWO MINUTES TO SPARE. You can ask Henry–he was sitting on the couch staring at his phone the entire time.

Ok. Trip’s officially over. Happy to be reunited with my insane, attention-deprived cats. Taking my contacts out now thank god. Peace out all-gendered scouts.

Nov 262021
 

Henry actually came home early today! So we are currently Atlanta area-ish bound.

I don’t feel like live blogging but here is what happened today so far. I woke up at 4:45am to the sounds of movement upstairs. I knew henry had already gone to work so this meant either HOME INTRUDERS and Chooch actually set an alarm and woke up early for Black Friday shenanigans.

Yep. It was Chooch. Can’t wake up on his own for school but that’s not a priority I guess. I texted him for shopping updates every so often not because I cared deeply but mostly was just vaguely curious what a gaggle of 15-year-old boys were accomplishing at the mall at 6am.

Apparently: Pop figures.

I laughed at first thinking how rich it was that Chooch had only bought a Pop figure, how he must realize how much less fun it is when you’re spending your own money.

But then he came home with a bag of them and oh, he spent like $200 on them. Great. Cool. Awesome.

I had the whole morning to myself and nothing to do. So I put on Pierce the Veil real loud and took some pictures of the new sweater I got from Sleepy Peach and then realized that I never took any photos of one of the shirts I got last year from Unlogical Poem so we did a wardrobe change (we: Drew and me. She was prowling around my room keeping me company, god bless her!).

Fun fact!! That coffee cup was the only thing I could afford when I was 18 and stupidly thinking I could furnish my first apartment from anything at my fave store PerLora. I also had a purple one which has mysteriously gone missing and I know one of those fucker bitches I live with broke it but won’t fess up.

My room is such a mess lol.

I like that this shirt has cool sleeves and the thingie that goes around your finger which has a name and now I can’t think of it (see also: not a fashionista or whatever). I used to cut thumbholes in long sleeved shirts and this is like a much fancier and less sloppy version of that look.

Here is another picture I took after I saw the other one and thought that maybe I should pick up some stuff from under the desk (read: kick it out of frame lol). This is actually one of my fave areas of the house, though I don’t sit over there very often if at all anymore since I don’t paint anymore. But that wall is full of photos that make me so happy and I love that swag lamp so much! The large painting to the left is from my grandparents house. <3

Henry has the GPS set to use Dexter’s voice and it’s fun for now but will get old soon.

Durrrrrrr d’durrrrrrrr.

I love the sleeve ruffles! Highly recommend both places for clothes: Sleepy Peach and Unlogical Poem.

I’ll leave you with a picture of Chooch, who only lasted 20 minutes before passing out in the backseat:

Nov 212021
 

I bought my very first ever monstera plant last January, with very little confidence or faith that I wouldn’t let it wither away into a brown crisp. I’m so hit or miss with houseplants and have killed an embarrassing about of cacti even. (Succulents and cacti are actually NOT THAT EASY TO MAINTAIN for most of us people, honestly!)

Also, quick back story: Henry kept calling it a Monsta X plant because there is an awesome Kpop group by that name. So then I officially dubbed him Wonho after our joint-bias in that group (even though he is no longer in Monsta X and is currently living his best damn life as a solo artist!

Observe: Wonho last January on the day we saved him from dumb Lowe’s.

And here he is last week, November 2021. What a beast!!

You can see that he is soaring over the buffet now.

He is so lush and has strong big boi energy.

I do talk to him every day (along with the cats, squirrels, my other personalities, the computer screen and basically any inanimate object I encounter throughout my sad and lonely work-from-home days) and I guess what they say is true re:talking to plants etc.

Wonho actually lives in a corner with several other large houseplants and that space looks like a mini rain forest, and that makes me feel calm. I never would have thought I’d be a plant bitch yet here we are: first came succulents and now this.

Hey, let’s check in juman Wonho!

How it started (as a rookie in 2015).

And um…how it’s going. *fans self*

Whenever I exclaim, “holy SHIT Wonho is getting so BIG,” Henry always asks, “Which one?” Because truly it could be either.

Ok um on that note 잘 자요!

Nov 132021
 

Ever since I deep-dove into the LJ archives last week, I’ve been feeling some type of way. I guess also because we’re in the throes of our 20th year together so the emotions have been REAL.

One of the posts I read was from our first or second year together where we went to this family restaurant out in Perryopolis (whatever that means) called RANDALL’S and I made a point to ask for separate checks but when I went to pay, they didn’t accept credit cards so Henry ended up having to pay for me anyway. I thought it was interesting because he was definitely living with me at that point but apparently we still paid separately when eating out??

It’s hard to even imagine.

So since Henry is done with his BIG CHORE (aka THE SIGN), I suggested that we revisit Randall’s today for lunch while WORKING CHOOCH was WORKING. Kind of like a date??!!

Plus I just really kind of wanted a grilled cheese, you know?

First of all, henry got cole slaw and I was excited because it’s been a hot minute since I got to take a HENRY EATS COLE SLAW action shot. I truly apologize for the delay.

But guys. That cole slaw. It was THICK. Literally had SKIN on it. Clearly it was proportioned and chilling in a fridge all day but still – stir that shit! I mean it was ok, not the worst I’ve had (yes I always stew a forkful or five from Henry’s ‘slaw) but DANG that consistency was jarring.

My grilled cheese was you know, basic. This ain’t Melt, yanno.

Meanwhile henry was making dumb observations like “are these booths new?” Bro I don’t fucking know! I literally can’t even remember the last time we ate at Randall’s! It was basically like being there for the first time, at that point.

The first time I was ever there was in high school (senior year or possibly the summer after?) with Janna. Why the fuck we were in perryopolis is beyond me but I remember this was back when I was obsessed with .38 Special and Janna either had a car phone (?????) or a cell phone (????) because I remember calling the classic rock radio station afterward to request “Caught Up In You” and the DJ answered and asked me where I was calling from and I said “a parking lot” because duh, that’s where we were?? And he was like BUT WHERE IS THE PARKING LOT and I yelled I DUNNO PERRYOPOLIS??! and then he played my song after making some exasperated comment about me on air and it was also raining REALLY HARD I think? Janna if you’re reading this, feel free to weigh in but if you say “This never happened, you’re dreaming” a la my mom, I will fucking cry probably.

Yeah so that was a story. You’re welcome.

Our lunch was nothing to write home about, she said in the full-ass blog post she’s writing about it. Even still, when our waitress (who was great btw, service was fine!) asked if we saved room for dessert i barely gave her a chance to hang the question mark at the end of the sentence before blurting out YES WHAT KIND OF PIE DO YOU HAVE.

A LOT, evidently. She made a point of specifying that the two different kinds of apple pie had REAL APPLES (in Korean the word for apple also means apology) NOT THE CANNED STUFF and my gut was singing a “get the Dutch apple” jingle but NO I ordered a slice of coconut cream and told Henry we would share.

Coconut cream is one of my faves BUT I am very picky with it. I hate hate hate meringue (most of the time) and definitely prefer when it’s capped with a whipped cream topping instead. Don’t boo me, meringue lovers! Sometimes meringue can actually be good and refreshing and I will gladly slurp it down. But I find that is not often the case in restaurant meringues.

Bro. I knew as soon as I spotted the waitress with the coconut creame’d plate from across the room that it was going to be bad.

And it was. Not just the meringue. But the actual coconut custard was made with the same carelessness as the coleslaw! It was soooooo gelatinous and even Henry hated it. He pointed out that it tasted like chemicals. I had two small bites and pushed it over to his side and even he couldn’t finish it.

Dang, Randall’s. Put some effort into that shit! I cannot remember the last time we left a restaurant with an unpolished dessert plate.

Since we were in the vicinity I suggested popping over to the nearby Quaker cemetery because it’s been a while since we were last there. Henry was secretly scared because it’s haunted and tried to say that it was gated now because of vandalism but when we got there, the gate was open. Too bad so sad, Henry.

Quakering in my not-boots!

I swear it was way windier in the cemetery than it was anywhere else but henry will probably just rationalize it by saying WE WERE ON A HILL or whatever.

Sadly, no spirits that I can see but something inside the Church kept banging and Henry was like THAT IS FROM THE WIND but no, it was FROM DEMONS I am sure of it.

Then Professional Driver got lost somehow and blamed my phone because he hates Apple. Mm, cook on. That was fine though because it gave us more time to listen to NCT127 (this latest comeback has me dead) and then fall down a rabbit hole of NINETIES R&B THAT MADE TEENAGE ERIN WANT TO HANG HERSELF. It was a good afternoon. Really. It was.

If you’re thinking “boy I thoroughly enjoyed reading this drivel and could really go for round two,” here’s a post about a time we were at this cemetery when Chooch was but a wee one.

Nov 062021
 

Being a Kpop fan has been hard for me lately because while I do love the genre as a whole, of course I have my faves. But my top faves have all left a huge hole in my heart:

  • SHINee is on military hiatus again, this time with Taemin enlisted.
  • Same with Winner.
  • Got7 is presumably disbanded.
  • The drama with B.I. has IKON feeling a different type of way.
  • VIXX, Infinite, Block B are all done-zo I guess??
  • And PUH-LEASE don’t get me started on BIGBANG. Being a VIP is so heart-breaking these days. Can we at least get a G-Dragon solo comeback?? Can someone get Seungri out of jail or wherever the fuck he is?? Can TOP stop hanging out with artists long enough to collab with GD maybe?

However, every time I start to lose interest or get stuck in a “2nd generation kpop” loop on Spotify, NCT have a comeback and totally breathe life back into me. They are literally the only current, active Kpop group that get me legit hyped with new music. Specifically the sub group NCT127, and their latest comeback for “Favorite” has me in a constant state of SWOON.

Please allow me to share with you one of their live performances of this sweet sweet Jimmy-jam. The choreo makes me squeal and the chorus reminds me of old SHINee. I am so into this song that I’m practically wearing it like a parka.

I think they have come so far since the first time I saw them live in 2017. They are stacked with talent and for all the people who insist that Kpop idols can’t sing? Here’s a video of them singing an encore after winning on one of the music shows.

Look how much fun they have!!!

They also have huuuuuge personalities and their behind the scenes fan content (especially Johnny’s Communication Center videos) never fails to crack me up. Even Henry smiles and almost knows all of their names lol. (His bias is Jungwoo.)

(Mine is Haechan but Jaehyun is my bias wrecker.)

Well, that’s all I wanted to say on this crisp November Saturday. Annyeong!

Oct 252021
 

A few months ago when SHINee’s “Don’t Call Me” MV came out, my fellow Shawol Veronica DMd me and was straight bugging over Minho’s “sick of all your trash” line. I love Veronica for this because sometimes I don’t initially picked up on these things because I’m too fixated on the beat, the dancing, the visuals, etc etc. So I had to go back and relisten.

It cracks me up every time I hear it now!

Anyway, a few weeks ago, Veronica was saying she wished there were T-shirts commemorating this iconic line and in my head I was like FUCK U HENRY FOR NEVER BUYING ME THAT SCREENPRINTING PRESS or whatever the fuck.

But then I was like OH HOLLA there is something I can make her…

Goddamn I was cracking up when making this card. His gritted-teethed grimace! The trash bags!

I really am grateful for the inspiration Veronica wafted my way because I have been in a card-making slump these last few months. I have so many ideas but the mental lethargy is real, yo.

If you’re a SHAWOL or know a SHAWOL that would enjoy the absurdity of this paper product, I do have it listed in my Etsy Kpop Card shop.

And here’s the “sick of all your trash” video!

Oct 222021
 

Good eve. I took these photos ten years (!!) ago when my old friend Andrea was visiting. I’ve been thinking about refreshing these shots for a while now because I was never satisfied with the original ones and today after work I finally felt motivated to search the computer for the raw files (ok Henry to help me lol).

Anyway, I remember this being a really fun day so please enjoy these old relics from when Chooch’s cheeks were chubbacious and he was front-toothless!

Fun facts: these were taken at the same cemetery where Night of the Living Dead was filmed.

Chooch was REALLY into zombies back then and used to shamble around saying, “they’re coming to get you, Barbara” and also was in a heavy phase where he liked to watch YouTube videos of people walking thru Spirit Halloween to the point where some of my friends started making their own walk-thru videos for him.

That hearse just literally rolled up out of nowhere while we were taking pictures and dude driving was like WOULD U LIKE THE HEARSE TO BE IN YR PICTURES. I didn’t feel like edited the other ones with the HEARSE CAMEO, please forgive me.

Wendy was also on site, as a standby Chooch handler.

Henry was there too and did nothing to help.

Oct 202021
 

Just over here lounging on a heating pad (‘oh my aching back’, she’s been saying since the 1990s), watching “In the Dark,” with two sluggish cats while Henry & Chooch are at the store (perpetually). It’s a pretty good, cozy October Thursday.

Oct 132021
 

Hello it’s October aka Spooky Season as all the annoying kids say, so here are two pictures of Chooch being a gross clown at Zombie Fest in 2014. Also I’m kind of sad because this is the first year that I won’t be making a costume for him because he’s 15 and has no interest, should I have another kid then???

Quick! Someone lend me a kid to decorate.

Oct 102021
 

Hello. We are in Princeton, NJ about to make our way home from our time at Six Flags Great Adventure. Last night, we were out looking for War of the Worlds roadside attractions because apparently this is the area where the Orson Welles radio show happened. That was kind of a fail because we couldn’t see anything at night, but!! we drove past a shopping center with a sign for Woori Mart, which made me do a double take. “IS THAT A KOREAN MARKET” I screamed. It felt like it was the romanization for 우리 which means “our” in Korean. Sure enough I was right and I love being right!! It was closed but we stopped this morning after checking out from a Quality Inn that had music softly pumping out of speakers near the elevators, such as INFORMER BY SNOW.

Anyway, Woori Mart was cool. I bought a case of some type of beverage endorsed by Korea’s MC Yoo Jae Suk. And we got black sugar milk tea flavored Choco Pies and some other snack items, and good grapes. But we didn’t want to buy too much because we had already planned on stopping at an H-Mart in/near Philly, and that is where we are headed now, woo!

It’s now 11:07 and we’re leaving H-Mart. Henry was so annoying in there and spoke to me with no sincerity in his voice at all. Then he accidentally took someone else’s shopping cart and she was like excuse me this is my cart and I was like OMG GREAT JOB HANK because of course it was at a moment where he had handed the card off to me.

Here’s a selfie of Chooch and me inside Artbox!

I took it for Veronica because she is going to H-Mart in LA today.

Now Chooch is trying to retrieve his Apple juice from under the seat using the backscratcher he won at an arcade in George, NY over Labor Day weekend.

Props to Henry, I would never want to drive in Philly.

We made it! No one would order when the lady came to the window so I was like OMG CAN WE HAVE TWO VEGAN CHEESESTEAKS AND ONE VEGAN NASHVILLE HOT CHICKEN. For gods sake, THESE PEOPLE!!

Anyway holy shit both sandwiches were good but that chicken was AMAZE. Unlike Eden Burger’s korean chicken sandwich, this one actually was coated in sauce we could taste and the fake chicken itself was delightful.

Did not enjoy sitting next to the road though.

Then we walked around for a few blocks because I didn’t want to get in the car right after eating. We went into a small pet shop and got Drew & Penelope cat nip bubbles and made friends with the shop cat, Marvel.

After calling Henry out for ogling numerous lingerie / bondage shops, we went into a comic book shop and the “saxophone guy in a thong on the boardwalk” song from The Lost Boys was playing but Dumb Chooch didn’t recognize it.

Oh yeah and we stopped at Dottie’s Donuts (also vegan) because we parked right across the street and I took it as a sign so we stopped in and got a hibiscus and blueberry jam-filled. Haven’t tried it yet because we’re still full from lunch but I’m sure at some point during the drive home we’ll be digging into them.

1:34pm: on our way out of Philly we passed Laurel Hill Cemetery and I was whining about how I always wanted to go there, and Henry was like OH OK REALLY? HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW ABOUT IT like I WASNT masquerading as a goth for like 4 years of my life. I started naming off things about it.

“And it’s a really popular place for photo shoots,” I finished.

“Ok let’s never go there,” Chooch piped up from the backseat.

2:23pm and we just left the PETER J CAMIEL rest stop. Henry needs to find another rest stop because “there were too many people in the bathroom” and he needs “to sit down.”

You’re welcome.

Wait! More rest stop happenings. We decided to taste test the two donuts from Dottie’s (I was like WE ARE JUST GETTING TWO BC EVERY TIME WE GET MORE THAN THAT ITS GLUTTONOUS).

Hibiscus: v. good & light, the glaze is v.v.v.sweet though, with just the right amount of floral. Into it.

Blueberry jam-filled: DELECTABLE and visually pleasing. I had to make Henry take it away from me so I didn’t inhale the whole thing.

Meanwhile, some dude was getting out of his car and Henry noted, “That guy gets out of his car the same way I do. Let’s see if he’s limping when he walks—oh! He is! Let’s see if his wife makes fun of him–Nope, she’s holding his hand and helping him! Wow. You just slam doors in my face.”

Omg we’re at another rest area you’re shocked. We checked on the popsicles that we bought a thousand hours ago at Hmart knowing damn well they’d be melted even though they were in a cooler with ice but that’s HOW FROZEN STUFF WORKS I guess. But henry was all THEY WILL BE OK WHEN WE PUT THEM IN THE FREEZER.

Chooch ate…er…drank one and said that, contrary to Henry’s optimistic assumption, there is no way they will refreeze and be ok. Then Chooch & I cooed over a corgi who was being walked over by the garbage can where we were throwing away wrappers of Korean snacks.

When we got back to the car after that, Henry was all LOOK AT THE CORGI and we were like WE KNOW BUT NICE TRY. Then I told him that Chooch said the popsicles probably won’t be ok when they refreeze and Henry barked, “WHO said that??”

“The corgi, henry. The corgi told me that. He is a fucking Popsicle oracle.” My god, CHOOCH SAID IT, HENRY!! TRY TO KEEP UP! Fuck.

Hello from the last rest stop in PA at 6:21. Henry had to pee SO BAD but chooch and I stayed in the car. Thank god henry was kind enough to park with this wonderful BLARING view of the sun.

I want to kill him, honestly.

It’s 7:04 and we’re on our street. BYE!!

Oct 082021
 

Good morning! Today is Hangeul Day (한글날) in Korea, which is a day to celebrate and commemorate the creation of the Korean alphabet by the great King Sejong in the 15th century.

Obviously I am not Korean but nevertheless, I have a very deep respect and love for Hangeul. The way it sounds and absolutely the way it looks made me want to learn it; while I can still hardly speak Korean, just the ability to decipher Hangeul has made my life feel so much fuller. Learning it made me feel like a code had been cracked and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself, honestly.

The first time we went to Koreatown in Toronto, I was in tears because we were surrounded by signs and storefronts smothered in Hangeul and I was able to read it. I kept pointing things out to Henry and he was like “ok I get it cool mmm.”

It’s such a beautiful language and I’m happy to celebrate it today, even as just an American from Pittsburgh.

Anyway, I’d like to share some Hangeul-laden pictures from our trips to Korea. Just look at how pretty those characters are!

This one is really sad – Many families were pulled apart during the Korean conflict and those in the South are still trying desperately to be reunited with estranged family members. There was a TV show to help these efforts and people wrote down their addresses and phone numbers to be posted in Imjingdak. We saw this during the DMZ/JSA tour we took in 2019.

I really hope I get to visit 한국 again someday. Happy Hangeul Day, my friends! Go watch a Korean drama today with subtitles, no dubbing!

Oct 052021
 

There has been all kinds of neighbor drama this week and I think it’s made me depressed. So…Who doesn’t love CAT PICS?? Serial killers probably.

Let’s see what my childs have been up to, shall we?

I got a new pillow for the church pew so suddenly this spot is a hot commodity again.

LASER EYE.

Oh, soooo stoked.

Neon Drew.

BONUS: And here we have MRS GRAY GIRL (sorry for calling you Mr Gray Guy for months) being a brat. <3

Sep 192021
 

Hi from Logansport, Indiana. 8:24am. Let’s have a live blog to chronicle the probably lame trip home to PGH so as usual, check back throughout the day if you’re hard pressed for words to read.

First let’s start with the oatmeal Henry brought back to the room while I was exercising. He put syrup in it?? I never put syrup in oatmeal?? 20 years together and what has he ever learned about me??

He claims that I “change a lot” when it comes to food. Oh ok. And he fucks up a lot.

8:31 Good bye holiday Inn Express with the beautiful view of RURAL KING.

Apparently some guy from Logansport was a corporal who died at the Kabul airport last month :/ A lot of the businesses here have RIP messages on their signs and our hotel had a small memorial set up for him in the lobby. It was really sad to see. Then Chooch casually asked, “Wait, what happened there?”

So smart, and yet.

8:49am: BIG UPDATE we’re about to drive past the Air Force base Henry…did plane stuff at.

“There’s a museum? For what?? Are you in it?” I screamed. No he’s not in it, he said calmly.

Wow. It is really ugly here.

We just drove past Maple Farm Trailer Park and Henry said he once knew someone who lived in there and I asked WAS IT A WOMAN prepared to make lascivious accusations but it was a dude.

ALLEGEDLY.

9:09am: we just stopped at some convenience store with a STORYBOOK facade and facade is RIGHT because the store itself was so shitty and I was not getting coffee there also Henry almost hit a squirrel crossing the street.

10:33am: Still no coffee. Indiana is a dump. We just crossed over Cornbread Rd and normally that would have seemed cute to me but right now I’m just like go fuck a cornstalk, Indiana.

We found a Dunkin Donuts which isn’t great but I won’t go to Starbucks and there is literally a TRAIN stopped on the tracks blocking traffic but in a surprising twist of luck for us, DD happened to be right before the tracks thank god.

Fuckin’ Indiana.

Chooch just woke up while we’re in line at DD and said, “is that train just stopped there? Why??”

“Because it’s an asshole,” I snapped.

“I don’t think that’s why,” Henry white-knighted.

Then henry had the most embarrassing order-handoff with the poor young girl at the window who was just trying to do her job and Henry was like THIS IS WRONG but it wasn’t and Chooch and I were like THAT IS OUR ORDER, TAKE IT and then the poor girl was all flustered and then we started to pull away when Henry stopped and asked her for straws and Chooch and I screamed THEYRE IN THE BAG because unlike Henry we actually paid attention to what was going on and now Henry is trying to defend himself to us, saying that nothing he did was embarrassing and I screamed OMG NOW YOURE GASLIGHTING HER.

now Henry is pointing out some technical school he went to when he lived in Indiana and I truthfully don’t care, I am so hungry and bitter.

10:51am: “Wow that stop sign has LED lights around it,” Henry said. “They must really have a problem with people not stopping around here.”

I looked around at the corn fields on all sides of the road. “Yeah, that’s because all the Footloose kids are busy sneaking out at night to go drag racing and dancing in barns,” I spat. I hate Indiana. I don’t understand how we’re still here??

12:11pm: just left the big candle place, $70 later ugh we are ALL candle addicts so it’s actually amazing we didnt spend more. This place has the best kettle corn candle and I have been dreaming of going back for one ever since we were there a few years back on our way home from Holiday World.

Random Michael Myers sighting. I wonder how many pumpkin candles he purchased.

Rustic candle restroom selfie.

1:46pm: Columbus, finally.

2:13pm: Korean Fried Chicken special at Eden Burger.

Um, it was really good but didn’t even have a hint of Korean flavors? Can American restaurants stop trying to replicate Korean cuisine? Because they are failing. Aside from the confusing marketing of this sandwich, it was very good – vegan chicken is my jam. I will usually always go for that option over the burgers, but I made Henry get the OG Eden Burger because they make their patties in house and I wanted to try. It was DELICIOUS. I love when vegan restaurants make their own instead of just copping out with an Impossible patty and then masking it with loads of cray toppings U KNOW.

Anyway, Eden Burger has bomb fries also. I’m definitely not hungry anymore.

(Oh and Chooch got Buffalo chicken and whined the whole time about having to pee when we literally just came from a rest stop and he said he didn’t have to go.)

2:29pm: CHOOCH and HENRY (it keeps auto-capitalizing and I don’t care anymore) went to Kroger’s so CHOOCH could pee and he said while he was in there, some old lady on drugs came in screaming I HAVE TO PEE I HAVE TO PEE and then she got arrested. I miss everything.

3:30pm: Henry just said something about this being our last trip for the year while I’m over here googling “does Six Flags Over Georgia do a winger festival” and “how far from Pittsburgh to Atlanta” lol.

3:58pm: whoa, our first Sheetz stop since yesterday if you can believe it! I got a pumpkin chai and it’s ok!

I was randomly recalling to Henry the time my mom was dating some prison guard dude and I was pretty ambivalent toward him until the day he accompanied us to a car dealership because I was going to trade in my EAGLE TALON (miss her) for a new VW JETTA and my mom was all set to make this happen when he stepped in and said to her that he didn’t think a girl “my age” really needed “a brand new car” and then tried to get me to take a USED MALIBU instead. CAN YOU EVEN??

I was like BITCH WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE AND WHAT EVEN IS A USED MALIBU, EW.

I never had my mom tell me no before!!

Except for maybe when I was in high school and wanted her to drive me to Cleveland so I could see where Bone Thugs n Harmony lived. That was a hard no.

4:32pm: Chooch needed the charger but I was using it and the spare was in the trunk in Henry’s bag for some reason and I can’t explain it you guys but there was this whole argument where CHOOCH was like WHY CANT U JUST USE BLUETOOTH LIKE NORMAL PPL WHY DO U HAVE TO USE AUX and I was like STFU BITCH BOY and Henry was like LANGUAGE which made us lose our minds bc really DAD?

Then CHOOCH was rummaging through the bags and screaming and Henry was like IN THE BLACK BAG THE BIG BLACK BAG and I was laughing so hard that I started to cry and the whole left side of my face was spasming and then CHOOCH SUPPOSEDLY puked in Henry’s bag bc he too was laughing so hard and Henry had that “JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL” look on his face.

5:44pm: we are mere minutes away from home! This LiveBlog was lame! They all are, really! Until the next “not happening” trip, this is Erin signing off. Bitches.

Sep 102021
 

I’m not an avid shopper by any means but I recently made some purchases that have excited me enough to warrant a shout out here in the void that is the OHE blog.

When the pandemic first hit the States, I bought some masks from the Korean clothing company, Chuu, and they were/are the best masks I found. They’re breathable and big enough to cover my dumb face without popping off when I yawn or try to talk. I wanted to buy more in other colors but they have been out of stock for MONTHS. And now that it’s clear that masks are 100% still needed regardless of vaccination status, I have been in the market for new ones again. I am SO PICKY!

I kept eyeing these ones made by a NYC boutique purse and accessory company called Min & Mon mainly because I covet all of their bags but their masks are basically the only affordable items that they sell lol ugh. I read the reviews which seemed excellent so I bought one and thought WE’LL SEE, BITCHES.

Well guess what guys?? This mask was made for this bitch.

It’s totally my style, extremely well-made, and fits on my face like it was molded just for me.

And then, because sometimes miracles really do happen, my friend Courtney sent me a Golden Girls mask which ALSO IS CUTE AND FITS!

I don’t know where it’s from though! (Update: it’s from Keepin It Clutch!)

Then I was perusing my Instagram feed and saw that one of my old Etsy’s Darkside pals who makes vegan bath goods and perfume was releasing the fall scents and it made me realize that it has been some YEARS since I bought stuff from her brand, Haus of Gloi. So I put in a small order and once it arrived, I remembered immediately how much I loved these products and am already about to make another purchase.

Um excuse me, that hair oil has NO RIGHT smelling that delicious.

Literally so good please go buy some stuff from Haus of Gloi you will NOT regret it.

And a bonus buy! I needed to fill a space on this one part of the kitchen wall and knew that I wanted a Troll doll from the 80s but it had to be the perfect one to fit my kitchen vision and then this guy appeared in my eBay feed:

He’s perfect!!!

Yeah the uncentered phone makes me nervous too, guys. Blame Henry. He’s the one with the measuring tape.

Well, that concludes this post about consumerism. Carry on with your Friday night.

Sep 082021
 

One of the coaster YouTubers I watch has been working on a documentary about my favorite coaster manufacturer, Rocky Mountain Construction, and he released the trailer last week. The fact that I cried real tears almost immediately, and then again later when Henry was watching it, says a lot about my love for this company and also my emotional fragility.

Honestly though I love how RMC started in basically a shed and is now responsible for some of the world’s greatest coasters of all time.

Here are the RMCs I’ve ridden!!

  • Lightning Rod
  • Storm Chaser
  • Steel Vengeance
  • Twisted Timbers
  • Outlaw Run

This list would have had SIX on it if stupid Jersey Devil was open when we went to Six Flags Great Adventure on my birthday.

Ugh. Riding a new RMC on my birthday. What a dream that would have been!

My goal is to ride all of them someday. They are just incredible feats of engineering and I never even used to care about shit like that before!