“What kind of bands are these, now?” Henry deigned to ask when we were on our way to Mr. Roboto for that night’s Casa San Jose fundraiser show. It’s almost like he’s  afraid to ask so he just waits until the last possible minute.

I was only able to find stuff from 90 Seconds til Midnight and The Give & Take online, but I liked what I heard and knew that Henry wouldn’t object to any of it once it started. But, Brenda…when we got there, one of the bands was sound-checking to an empty room. It was 7:30 at that point.

And it was just us and the sound guy in there. We sat down on a bench against the wall and I immediately felt so awkward. But then another person arrived!

And it turns out he was the friend/photographer of the first performer and would end up leaving right after that. But it was still nice to have someone sitting next to us so we looked less fish out of water.

Eventually, 4 girls and a guy came from the back of the venue so I was like, “Oh thank god, people were just chilling out there until now,” and felt less cooked. UNTIL I QUICKLY REALIZED THAT THEY WERE ALL FRIENDS / GIRLFRIENDS OF 90 SECONDS TIL MIDNIGHT.

It was almost 8pm at this point and nothing was happening except for the band fucking around on stage and getting photos taken. So I joined in with the photo taking session.

“Where are the other people?” Henry hissed uncomfortably.

This was around the point where I admitted to Henry that when the ticket guy was checking us off the list, I glanced at what appeared to be only 4 names on it but I didn’t want to say anything because THIS HAD JUST HAPPENED TO US earlier that week at another event — why do I keep choosing these random events that no one knows about?!

Really definitely 100% positively not fitting in at all but still being so happy to be there LOL. (Well, one of us was happy to be there. Henry is wearing his, “Why do you keep doing this to me?” face.)

Henry being like, “WHAT EXACTLY IS THIS THAT WE’RE HERE FOR AGAIN?”

Soundcheck photoshoot.

My aunt Susie also loves shelties and had two of them when I was a teenage: Coco and Pebbles! She had Coco first and when she got the second one and asked for name suggestions, I said, “Pebbles!” and was only moderately joking, but she liked it and kept it! And that has been the story about my aunt and her Shelties.

Eventually, The Give and Take arrived and mentioned something about car issues. I really enjoyed their set, but it was just me, 90 Seconds + their entourage, and the Give and Take’s photographer that were standing in front of the stage. Henry was like, “I’mma stay sat for this” and there were two youngish girls also sitting down as well. Plus some tall random guy who was giving me The Crow vibes kind of but in a 2026 sense. I can’t explain it.

After The Give & Take, the Crow guy got on stage!!! I had no idea he was one of the performers.

Um…

I don’t know what to say about his set aside from that it was pretty uncomfortable to watch. He rode the backing track like a life boat through the entirety of the first song and then afterward said his live vocals don’t do it justice. I was fighting for my life to hold it together, Steve. There was no one blocking me from his sight—it was still just me, the other band and their small entourage.

I was trying not to film or take pictures of him because I could feel the girlfriends of the other band side-eying me, not in a catty way, but like they were genuinely wondering why I was there. Like, “someone bought tickets to this show, holy shit?!” and I didn’t want it to look like I was making fun of this guy who they were all clearly bros with. He seemed troubled, to say the least, and after the first song, he launched into a 4 minute monologue about how he suddenly fell ill last summer out of nowhere, flu-like symptoms, bad headaches, no one could figure it out.

Eventually, he found out he had Lyme disease and now part of his face is partially paralyzed.

Afterward, Henry was like, “Who was that story for, if everyone else there knew him? Was that story just for us?!”

Maybe?!

Then he said he has been compared to MGK but that he doesn’t need to copy him or anyone else because he’s 24 and has “lived a life.”

Oh Francis, I was screaming on the inside. I had to grab my sides with curled fingers because sometimes inflicting pain upon myself is the only way to curb the chuckles. It was like being in church again.

I just filmed a short snippet but honestly, props for this guy for having it in him to get up there on a stage and he did have some good beats. It just wasn’t for me, no hate.

Henry remained seated during this set and was actually hunched forward with his head in his hands for most of it but he sat up as soon as I snapped this. There was one teenage girl remaining and she was also sitting in the same position. I think she left before it was over though.

The one nice thing about the evening was that each band got on stage immediately after the last one so there was little to no down time. Whoever the next band was on the flyer, they weren’t there that night, so after Skyrah was done doing the mashed potato on stage, 90 Seconds Til Midnight came on. You guys, I liked them! They were energetic and fun. They had some covers but their original songs were what I liked the most.

Henry actually stood with me for this, amazing, what energy, give this guy a participation trophy.

In between songs, the singer goes, “I know pretty much everyone in this room. I know you, and you, and you….I don’t know YOU guys though, nice to meet you.”

So I WAVED TO HIM AND YELLED, “Hello!” like a FUCKING SOCCER MOM WAVING TO HER KID ON THE FIELD I AM SUCH A FUCKING DORK.

And when that happened, EVERYONE TURNED AND LOOKED AT US. It was so embarrassing but also one of the funniest things that has ever happened to me at a show and I was squealing, trying to keep it together. It was all I could do not to immediately text Chooch and tell him. (Don’t worry, I spammed the fuck out him afterward and he was like WTF WHERE EVEN WERE YOU.

Like, “why can’t you just stay home and knit like other moms!?” Lol!

I sincerely can’t remember the last time I felt this much of a DORK ALERT at a show or anywhere in public for that matter. I mean, I was wearing jeans and an old t-shirt from my brother Ryan’s pee wee soccer team (yes, I stuff myself into Youth t-shirts, is that a crime) yet somehow I felt like I looked to them like I had just popped in on the way to go grocery shopping. I could have been the mom to pretty much anyone there that night except for the first singer who said he was in his 40s (BRO, WHAT’S UP!) and the soundguy.

“I COULD HAVE BEEN THEIR GRANDFATHER!” Henry cried, but honestly I don’t think these people were that much older than Chooch, calm down, Henry.

“Go to local shows,” they said. “Support local music,” they said.

I genuinely enjoyed them, though, and would like to come out and support them again but maybe I will try to bring like 10 people with me!?

Also, I was glad to be supporting Casa San Jose because FUCK ICE FOREVER. FUCK DONALD TRUMP AND HIS REGIME. FUCK FASCISM TIL THE END OF TIME.

Anyway. We bolted out of there as soon as it was over. Part of me wanted to stick around and say hello or whatever, but I was so giddy and also suffocating from the awkwardness of it all, that I think we both wanted to just get the fuck outside. And once we were on the sidewalk, we started cracking up.

“Jesus Christ, Erin!” Henry laughed. “Why do you keep putting us in these situations??”

I’ll tell you, I hate a crowd as much as the next antisocial person, but there is something even worse about being one of the ONLY people in a crowd at a performance, because it’s almost like YOU are the one being observed. When there are only like 5 or 8 people standing there, the eyes are going to land on you at some point, ESPECIALLY when you’re the only one that the people on stage DON’T KNOW.

I actually felt like I was under a spotlight and it was exhausting. Like, I was hyper aware of my facial muscles – was I doing resting bitch face? Did I look critical? Were they worried I wasn’t enjoying it? So instead, I overcorrected and I think I looked like I was auditioning for the next installment of SMILE.

What’s even funnier to me is that usually when something like this happens, you’re not noticed at all, you know? You’re just a blurry face in the crowd so you might walk away with some funny memory of something that the rest of the people there had no idea was happening. But in our case, while we might reminisce about this years later, like, “Remember that one time we looked like NARCs at that Roboto show?” the band might also have their own side of it that comes up someday, like, “Remember when those random parents showed up at our show for no reason and no one knew who they were?!”

I don’t know, it feels less funny now that I’m typing it out but Henry and I fucking laughed about it for days afterward. I never thought I would find myself in a more awkward concert situation than the Kurt Travis house show but this one was EXCRUCIATING. Hilarious (and with mostly good music) but so painful. If it hadn’t been for the the pre-show beer lubricating my nerves, I think I might have left. Glad I didn’t though! Even when Henry was shooting, “I hate you” daggers at me from his eyes, lol.

The next one is this Saturday and hopefully there are more people there, pray for us.

In case anyone missed the memo, I am obsessed with the Glitterbox and need little to no reason to attend events there. I am trying not to be SO OVERZEALOUS that I cause apprehension from the staff though. But when I saw that there was a SLEAZY FEMME FILM FEST featuring SANDY LOAF of Smoker’s Lounge fame, I sent the event details to Henry with “!!!!” Ofc he said, “ok whatever you want to do” because I rule the roost and he is but my servant.

Chooch was actually home this weekend for the Dominic Fike concert and was so annoyed that he and his friend Ben had to take the T there because mommy and daddy needed the car for their sleazy date night haha. I think he is lowkey also annoyed at the swerve our lives have taken since he moved out. Like, we’re way cooler than him now.

First, we wanted to get dinner and drinks at Golden Age but it was PACKED since it was storming so the outdoor seating was flooded. So we settled on Duke’s which was whatever.

I was in a bad mood immediately because the hostess was the epitome of “blank” and discarded us at an awkward table so I immediately was like fuck this we’re sitting at the bar. Then I was annoyed because 95% of their draft list was IPAs and I am so sick of IPAs. I ordered one anyway only because the name was Pernicious and that’s what I used to call Marcy. :(

Then!! Come to find out (I hate when people say that btw) that the idiot hostess gave us an OLD MENU and the current one had Oktoberfests and brown ales on it!!! The bartender (who I couldn’t tell if she hated us or what but I swear I caught her scowling at me several times) was like, “I’ll give her a pass because she’s only 16—she doesn’t know.”

She…doesn’t know how to read a date on the menu? Got it.

The one nice thing about the bartender was that she did warn us not to engage with the old man near us at the bar and that he was the reason another couple bolted. Luckily Henry is so naturally standoffish that was had nothing to worry about and the man eventually left and walked in the middle of traffic so…

I will say that the pizza we got was exceptional and it was fun watching some international little league game on TV while talking about BIGBANG.

But then it was time to go to the Glitterbox right down the street and I was immediately SO CONTENT. I can’t stress how much I love this place. It is so special. So inclusive. So quirky and cozy.

This show had a pretty robust turnout too, much like Sandy Loaf’s Smoker’s Lounge! This show was in collaboration with Pittsburgh Sound and Image:

From the Pgh Sound + Image website:

Filmmaker and curator Maren Moreno graces Pittsburgh with a new Sleazy Femme Film Festival. Are you a first-timer? Well, it does exactly what it says on the tin. It’s sleazy, it’s femme, it’s film, it’s festive! And it’s the only place you’ll find this all-star lineup of DIY powerhouses:

-A rough cut of Maren’s new lezzy erotic film FILTH EATER, with live score by Frogonbough/Ava Lowry/Maze Phillips

-SANDY LOAF and NASTY TAXI present a singular array of vignettes, with live score by Bella Figlia

-And we’ll close it out with a 16mm print of Heather McAdams’s experimental doc of a Kentucky drag queen, Meet…Bradley Harrison Picklesimer

Join us Saturday, August 22nd. Doors at 7:30, show starts at 8:00.

Meet…Bradley Harrison Picklesimer preserved by Chicago Film Society through the National Film Preservation Foundation’s Avant-Garde Masters program and The Film Foundation. Funding provided by the Hobson/Lucas Family Foundation.

I think this might have been after Anna walked by, recognized us, and said, “Oh hi guys!” and I was like smiling so hard after that, I could NOT get my face to relax, I was frozen in this big-cheese manic visage that Henry was like, “JFC.”

OMG this is my favorite Glitterbox person! I always call him “the Kurt Travis guy” because I don’t know his name but he reminds me of Kurt Travis (duh). He wasn’t at the last event we attended so I was excited to see him running around making sure everything was set up.

Henry was originally lowkey uncomfortable about attending this, being a straight white guy at the sleazy lezzy film show, and I was joking about, “Hi everyone, I’m here and I brought my incel” but he quickly realized that, like every other event we’ve attended there, no one cared, no one gave him a side-eye, he was just another patron of queer art.

Anyway, a quick recap:

• the first short silent film was called Filth Eater by Maren Moreno. It was incredible and had a three-piece orchestra set up behind us, performing a live score. It was intense, explicit, erotic, and uncomfortably intimate at times,  but had some moments of levity that had us all cracking up.
• then it was Sandy Loaf’s short film called Imaginary Boyfriends which was like an offshoot of Smokers Lounge—creepy and nightmare-inducing! This one had a live score performed on the side of the stage by Bella Figlia. Sandy Loaf also brought one of the masks and babydolls with her, which were chilling on the sides of the stage all night, judging us.
• the finale was Heather McAdam’s short  doc from the 80s about the drag queen Bradley Harrison Picklesimer. IT WAS SO GOOD. It is purposely not available anywhere online, to stream, etc., because Heather insists that it only be viewed in its original 16mm and I love her for this because it was so visually pleasing in this format. It felt extra special and like a treat to get to see this that night. Some parts of it had the whole theater LOLing loudly – what a character!

All of the artists post-screening. These people are so cool and talented!

I love these events so much because it gives Henry and I so much to unpack and discuss. We drive home and just dissect everything we’ve seen and it just feels so bonding. I am desperate to take Chooch to something here when he’s home on his next break!

Bro, when I saw this posted on Instagram and noticed that Azizzy would be performing, I excitedly shoved my phone in Henry’s bearded grill and squealed, “We have to go!!!”

Just to clarify, that was me doing the squealing.

After witnessing Azizzy’s clown performance at the last Glitterbox event we attended, I declared myself their #1 fan. And then followed them on Instagram. And then fanned myself when they followed me back. I wrote the book on parasociology, OK child.

This wasn’t technically a clown show, but a variety show. As the flyer suggests.

Obviously.

We went into this knowing nothing.  I did tell Henry though that I wanted to get there later than we usually do—we always arrive RIGHT WHEN DOORS OPEN and sometimes the flyer is incorrect so we get there even earlier than the Glitterbox and their artists would like.

“I want to get there closer to 7pm so we don’t look so EAGER BEAVER like we have previously. I don’t want these people to think I’m like, obsessed or something,” I said matter-of-factly earlier in the day on Tuesday.

“But, you are obsessed,” Henry so kindly pointed out for the studio audience.

OF COURSE we still got there too early so we just chilled in the car which was probably even creepier than sliding through the front door like Joey and Chandler on a wheeled dog sculpture minus the dog sculpture and it’s actually just me barging through the door with HELLO I’M HERE frantic energy while Henry causally slumps in behind me.

We started seeing all kinds of people walking to Glitterbox and I was like, “Oh thank god, there are going to be lots of people in the crowd tonight!” and then Doris arrived too! I was like, “Yay, it’s Doris!”

But guess what!? ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE WERE GOING UPSTAIRS TO A CLOWN CLASS.

So, when we walked into the theater at 7PM, it was….JUST US. And then the performers (Skeeter & Kev + Matthew from the Saga of the Shining Emblem – we did not know that that was who they were at the time) arrived right after us. The guy who is normally there running the ticket booth and concessions wasn’t there that night, but a different person—Anna—was holding it down and she was super nice. Actually, I’m pretty sure Henry was sitting next to her at the first clown show we attended, where her wife got to participate in one of the skits. I had a feeling that night that they were both Glitterbox-affiliated.

Drinking a spicy ginger beer at the Glitterbox and sitting in anticipation of what we’re about to spectate has become my favorite thing over these last several months. It’s something different every time and it never disappoints!

Two more people arrived and eventually I realized that the audience was just going to be the 4 of us, plus the performers, one of the performer’s partner, and Anna. How does this happen!? I need to take it upon myself to be the street team for Glitterbox events. Unfortunately, this one was just posted a week prior to the show, super short notice for people who aren’t obsessive like me. I did have THREE friends say that they’re interested in future clown shows though so I you better believe this information is stored away in the steel trap that is my somewhere-on-the-spectrum mind.

Well, anyway—let me give a quick run-down of the evening because you TRULY HAD TO BE THERE.

Kev was the super chill and funny MC of the night. We had a fun little local beer discourse because he said when Anna was helping him stay hydrated at the concession stand, he asked for an Iron City Beer and she called it “shitty beer” so he was asking us if that’s true. Then he asked what local breweries to check out and no one else was saying anything so I yelled, “Hitchhiker” which I do like BUT WHY DID I NOT SAY LOLEV?!!? That is my BELOVED.

Anna suggested East End which is definitely the better answer because that is wildly considered the “standard” when it comes to Pgh beer I guess.

(Kev, Skeeter, and Matthew are from Brooklyn, BTW.)

The first performer of the night was a local stand-up comedian, Alex, and he was OK. I’m admittedly not a huge stand-up fan and this guy’s humor and delivery reminded me of someone I work with who I don’t find very funny.

Skeeter came out in between acts to get us politically riled up, perform some of his slam poetry, and read from his journal titled BREAST MILK & AGAVE. I loved their little in-between acts and banter!

Then it was Azizzy’s allotted 10 minutes on stage and this is when I was like OH SHIT WHAT IS THIS FAMILIAR YET UNFAMILIAR FEELING ALL AT ONCE,  I THINK I HAVE MY FIRST EVER CLOWN CRUSH????!!!  Later, Henry said, “Yeah, no shit.”

He always knows before I do.

You guys, Azizzy is so talented though. Their absurdist pantomiming makes me laugh so hard that I actually felt like I was hungover the next morning. And Henry enjoys it too which is crazy because he and I usually have VERY different tastes when it comes to comedy. I am super picky, but Azizzy checks all my boxes.

:)

They dropped the lid to their tin of hair gel, which was one of their props, and I was so excited when it rolled straight toward me. Henry made fun of me later for the overeager speed I snatched it up, like anyone else was going to lurch themselves toward it or fight me for it like a sticky wedding bouquet, but I was just so desperate to have the opportunity to interact with them by handing it back to them!!!

I kept saying, “Remember when I picked up Azizzy’s hair gel lid?” all week while Henry was hunkering down in the basement building a sailboat to float him away from FML Island.

The main act was the Saga of the Shining Emblem, which is a live-active improv version of a Choose Your Own Adventure book, led by Matthew. He took the stage in a vert dramatic fashion with a booming, mystical soundtrack and shrouded in a velvet cloak.

It was SO FUNNY and creative, and unlike ANYTHING I have ever seen performed in front of me before. It was awkward when he asked for someone to volunteer to be the HERO of the story. There were only 4 of us and no one was making a move, so finally Azizzy, now in their civilian clothes, volunteered. I am so glad because I would have been a disaster up there. I mean, you only had to answer a few questions to keep the plot going but unlike the book, THERE WEREN’T OPTIONS TO CHOOSE FROM and my brain would have surely short-circuited up there in the hot seat.

Azizzy did amazingly thought, OF COURSE!

Since this is Pittsburgh, the setting was THE PITT which made it extra funny. I wish there has been some reference to DANA’S TERRIBLE YINZER ACCENT though

Azizzy made it through to the end and was awarded AN ACTUAL SHINING EMBLEM — FOR KEEPS!!! — at the end, so maybe I had some regrets at that point for being a little wussy baby shy girl.

Skeeter came out with more performative activism at the end (but no sincerely FREE PALESTINE all day long!!) and Kev had us all sign his shirt! As a Leo, this was something that had me practically knocking over chairs to do. I fucking love writing my name.

Henry went to the bathroom before leaving and I saw a chance to talk to Azizzy SO I TOOK IT. God, why am I so socially awkward though. I was smiling like a lunatic, I could feel it, and saying the dumbest things. But! They said they were glad to see that we came out for this and I had to stop myself from saying IF YOU WILL BE THERE I WILL BE THERE. Meanwhile, Henry was coming back from the bathroom and was probably like, “Oh Jesus Christ, here we go.”

I said that I have always loved clowns, my house has clown art everywhere, and when I saw that these clown shows were a thing it felt like this was the next natural step which they took way too literally and started telling me about the clown classes that are held there, and maybe I should even consider improv, etc. Oh can you even imagine what a nightmare I would be in that environment?! The social anxiety and stage fright would kill me if the stress of even just THINKING about it didn’t get to me first.

I can’t even remember how the conversation ended because I am so awkward and don’t know how to wind things down but I think I stupidly said that I hoped to see them perform again and they were like “yes, please!” and I said, “I’LL LOOK FOWARD TO IT.”

UGH.

I hate myself so much, I’m such a fucking nerd.

But other that, it was an amazing night and I was so giddy the whole way home. I feel like Henry and I are really getting out there and doing new things which has helped my depression and empty nest syndromeTREMENDOUSLY. Highly recommend looking at the events pages of random local theaters and venues, finding one that sounds interesting, and just going for it. It’s opened up a whole new world of performance art for us that we didn’t know existed AND I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS SCENE. It has cured my boredom.

“Didn’t you just see him like last month?” Chooch asked when I sent him his favorite text that goes like this, “GUESS WHO I’M SEEING TONIGHT??” And no, it was almost exactly a year ago when I last saw Anthony Green (and Geoff Rickly!), thank you very much, Chooch. And because of that close proximity to the last show, I ALMOST sat this one out. That would have been such a mistake. Don’t sit the shows out, guys. Go to the shows. I have been seeing Anthony in one form or the other since 2005 but I still felt like there might be a REGERT there if I didn’t go. Especially because I follow him on Instagram and was so excited to see the clips of him opening for MCR at WEMBLEY. THE WEMBLEY. So, he was starting this next leg of the tour right off the heels of that. Incredible.

This show was last Friday. That same week, we had the clown show at Glitterbox and Kennywood because I have us on a fast track for burn out. So when Henry was anticipating a quiet evening in, I reminded him, “We have Anthony Green tonight….” and he was like, “…fuck.” LOL. Then I had to remind him that HE was the one who actually told me about this show in the first place!!

I’m so glad that we got the leg of the tour with Geoff. <3

We had some time to kill, so we walked down to Burghers for a pre-show beer. I had a red ale there too and I’m telling you—that is my style! One is enough, it’s satisfying, they always taste good, I don’t feel like I’m drinking beer, and I don’t feel like shit afterward. Plus, I have also learned that I am a one-beer-and-time-to-go girl. Bars and breweries are “pre-whatever-event killing time” things for me, and not somewhere to waste an afternoon or evening—I can’t hang like that. This was my third time at a Burghers and I have not had a bad beer there yet. Plus, the people are always so nice! This time, we sat at the bar and talked to the Burghers people about Anthony Green so that was amazing since usually people are like “who” when I tell them who we are going to see, lol ugh.

Myrna, can you believe that I have not been to Mr. Small’s since pre-pandemic!? It’s crazy how much time I spent there over the years and then stepping inside last Friday felt so foreign to me.

Plus, it’s changed so many times over the years that I can’t even remember what it was like the last time we were there. Or even, when I was there. I think it was just Chooch and me, possibly to see Emarosa?!

Henry is always the holder of my merch.

Also, I had to bite my tongue the other day because I’m so sick of correcting people, but someone insinuated that Henry was going to a show to see someone he didn’t know and this is so infuriating to me. Henry has been there since the beginning, when I loved Saosin, then obsessed over Circa Survive and listened to them almost exclusively on my cemetery walks while pregnant with Chooch, when I shyly met Anthony outside of the Grog Shop in Cleveland summer 2005 and he signed my CD, all the different bands we saw him performing with at various Riot Fests, taking me to Philly to see The Sound of Animals Fighting—-come the fuck on. Give the man some credit.

My favorite was actually  the last Riot Fest we went to in 2023. We were standing by one of the stages waiting for the next band to come on and Henry was like, “Who are we waiting for?” and I said, “Just wait, you’ll see.” The band came out and he was like, “Wait….is that Anthony? But what band is this? Is he in ANOTHER BAND?” Lol, it was LS Dunes.

But no, you’re right, Henry has no idea who Anthony Green is.

The show opened with Keith Goodwin, of Good Old War and long-time Anthony collaborator.

Anthony came out and played drums on one song, and then came out again to sing on another.

It was a really nice, mellow opening.

After Keith’s set, Henry went to the bathroom and came back with our pal Jason Pettigrew! I was JUST lamenting earlier that night that we never run into anyone we know when we go to shows, like how is it possible that I have no friends who like anything I like, I don’t understand. (And of course after I said this, I remembered that we saw one of our Sugar Spell ice cream friends at two shows in the span of a year and actually one of those shows was the LAST Anthony Green show!).

It’s been A MINUTE since we last saw Jason and it was amazing timing because he and I had just recently been going back and forth on Threads about how needed to catch up soon. A loud venue wasn’t necessarily the best environment for a chat but it was still better than nothing! He hung out with us for Geoff’s full set and then we made tentative plans for an avocado pie night at our house in October. #fingerscrossed

But OMG, Geoff Rickly. Once again, I’m so glad that we decided to come to this show because he is just a gem, such a legend. And I said it last year too,  that he could leave his guitar at home and just sit on a stool telling us stories and I would be just as enthralled. He’s an amazing musician and songwriter, but his story-telling skills are also top notch. And he somehow super hilariously wove references to Charlie Kirk AND Taco Bell into the evening. Ugh, he is SO GOOD and I’m very grateful to his sobriety because he is someone we need on this earth for as long as possible. Just a genuinely cool guy.

And then Anthony. OK, so I don’t know what was going on with me last year when we saw him: maybe I was still depressed and dead inside, maybe it was the venue, maybe it was just weird timing. But it didn’t resonate with me emotionally. In fact, I kind of felt like an outsider, like maybe too much time had passed and I wasn’t meant for this scene anymore. I can’t explain it but this time, it felt like NO TIME had passed, like it was 2005 again, like I was listening to Circa on some shitty mp3 player and shitty headphones, tears mixing with sweat, cemetery groundsmen looking at me like wtf is wrong with this broad.

I FELT THINGS AGAIN. I clung to every little piece of information he shared with us between songs. I smiled like a fucking acolyte. Man, Anthony Green. I am so sorry that I fell off the wagon there for a bit. I’m sorry I missed even a single Pittsburgh performance. I’m extra sad that I didn’t even know The Sound of Animals Fighting played shows last fall!!

Henry took pictures too!!

Anthony posted on Threads that he felt this was the best show he’s played in “Pitty” and I was so glad to have been there. It really did feel like a very special show. The crowd was good. The venue was perf. Everyone, in all of the bands + Geoff, sounded SO GOOD. It just felt personal, like they wanted to be there performing their songs just as much as we wanted to be there listening to them. I really don’t have a single complaint about the night and I will end it by saying that I am fully back on the wagon and have been listening to all iterations of Anthony Green ever since that night and just absolutely FLOATING in nostalgia.

SETLIST:

1. So It Goes
2. I Don’t Want to Die Tonight
3. Babygirl
4. She Loves Me So
5. You’ll Be Fine
6. Trading Doses
7. East Coast Winters
8. Pets (Porno for Pyro cover)
9. Seven Years
10. Strange Terrain
11. Act Appalled
12. Reconcile
13. Don’t Dance
14. Dear Child / Like Magick / Fucks Me Up
15. This Song Won’t Save You
16. Get Out
17. Devil’s Song

I can’t believe this happened, but I somehow failed to bring either of my two Charmera cameras with me on Friday so this will just be a Saturday and Sunday Chameradump I guess. :(

Saturday’s coffee break led us to Redstart in the East End. I didn’t realize until we pulled into the lot but in 2019 when Jiyong and I used to meet up every Saturday, we came here but it was called something else at the time. All I could remember was that it shared a space with Schoolhouse (the lighting company) but when I googled it, “The Bureau” is what came up, which didn’t seem correct AT ALL.

So I consulted my blog, and yeah, it was the same place. I remember very well being INSIDE but the name rings not even the tiniest bell buried in the recesses of my corroded mind. I did have fun reading the blog post that mentioned it though, which has us meeting Tommy and Jessy for lunch somewhere in Butler that also rings zero bells in my mind but Chooch’s sick burn near the end of the blog post had me gagged. I sent him a screenshot yesterday and he said, “Lol wow, got him.”

(RIP Jessy though for real, ugh.)

Anyway! This place had the most quiet vibes. It was mostly people there alone to either read a book or work so this is the atmosphere I was looking for on my Baby Girl Goes to the City Alone day earlier this month. (God, it was still July yet it feels like that months ago at this point. How is this summer going by so fast but then these weird time lags are also happening!?)

I got the coconut latte and Henry got pandan but then I made him swap with me after I tried his. We also split a vegan sea salt chocolate chip cookie. Overall, great lattes and the cookie would have been better if it wasn’t shared. The barista was also a super nice guy who didn’t make us feel like we were encroaching on holy grounds. (OH COME ON YOU KNOW HOW SOME OF THEM CAN BE!!)

I would go back. Good job, Redstart.

Before we went home, we stopped at Bodega Film Lab to pick up some film for our little mini trip coming up later this week.

The guy who helped us was super nice and also didn’t act like an elitist so I was happy about that. I love photography but I love it on my terms and by that I mean I know zero of the technical aspects of it so please do not ask me what kind of ISO I’m looking for and if you even START to say aperature, just know I’m already tuning you out on the first syllable.

Later that night, we watched the Italian horror movie Torso, and it was excellent.

Sunday (today!) I met Sandy and Nate at Palm Palm for brunch! I haven’t seen them since February so it was a nice little catch-up sesh. They brought me a birthday bouquet :)

We were all smitten with the water carafe that looked like a volcano.

Not Charmera, but I got the coconut pancakes with yuzu marmalade and the most delicious whipped topping which ended up being my brunch AND dinner:

It was so good but I am excited to eat something savory today, lol.

And here’s a better picture of Sandy and Nate too:

It was such a great brunch! And I loved Palm Palm (they even have matchbooks which to me is such a great touch) and already can’t wait to go back.

Later in the afternoon, Henry and I went to my mom’s because she is moving out slowly and I wanted to not only poke around and see what things of mine are still there, but we also needed to send Chooch some pictures of my brother Ryan’s old bedroom set because he (Chooch) is moving into a new place this September and has no furniture. I asked him if he liked it and he was like, “Well, I have nothing so I’m relying on Val’s donation here.” LOL I guess that’s a yes.

Meanwhile, I found some really good old shit—LIKE MY FIRST PUBLIC DIARY FROM FIFTH GRADE!!! So, I was pretty happy about that but overall felt kind of weird. I haven’t been in my mom’s house in probably over 15 years if we’re being honest here, and it made me sort of sad to see my old room which used to be so cool, I’m not getting, it was so fucking cozy and ambiant, but after I moved out one of my brothers took over and killed the vibe.

But, I digress. It’s just really weird that both my childhood home and my grandparent’s house on the same street are basically just…done.

So after we left there, we stopped at a local pizza shop / brewery called Truss to have a “we were just sweating in an attic” beer.

I had a red ale and it was SO GOOD, but not only that, we chatted with the owner and he is so cool and down to earth. He was encouraging us to sample everything but once I tried the red ale, I was like, “No need, this is the one.”

Henry got the CAR WASH COMING SOON summer wheat which is based on an inside joke with the community because there are so many car washes on one small strip of highway that runs through, that every time a new one pops up, people get so triggered. Anyway, one guy took it to the next level but having a giant “car wash coming soon” sign printed and then he hung it at Chick-fil-a on a Sunday so the community Facebook page popped of with, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME, CHICK-FIL-A IS TURNING INTO A CAR WASH???”

Anyway, long story still long, that guy is friends/friendly with the Truss owner, and when the Truss guy went on vacation, the CAR WASH COMING SOON sign ended up in front of the brewery, lol. He told us that he came back from his trip to Mexico with his inbox full of concerned messages about Truss closing. So, the car wash beer was born. IT IS SO GOOD, TOO! I stole some sips :)

Then I read aloud from my 5th grade public diary and Henry was like FML. SHOULD THIS BE MY FUTURE CLOWN ACT!?!? Just, me in face paint sitting on a stool and reading pages from my journals??

Hilariously in the same vein, Henry was digging around on some old computer drives and found an audio recording of the time I read an entire haunted house review for LiveJournal. (It was the infamous IGOR’S FRIGHT SHACK review!!!)

Well, that pretty much sums up the weekend, minus Friday which will be a separate post. CIAO FOR NOW.

Borbo/Prism is an eponymous duo of artists. They hail from Bushwick, Brooklyn- famously memed for its colorful cast of characters- where they work extensively in the DIY experimental performance art scene.
Prism’s (they/she) work is focused on visual storytelling, with a heavy reliance on folkloric imagery. Having come-of-age in the Appalachian countryside of Ohio, their works’ themes often reflect on the conflicting reality of tradition and personal identity. Prism practices mostly in the mediums of conventional “feminine craft” (sewing, embroidery, applique, textiles). They then force new meaning onto these heavily connotated mediums by enmeshing them with the performance art practices typically overrun with male artists (puppetry, noise music, clowning).
Borbo (it/its) is a queer non-binary percussionist, performance artist, and noise clown. It draws inspiration from a wide range of genres, including psychedelia, free improvisation, and jazz-fusion. Anything it can strike, scrape or shake is a potential musical instrument – drum sets, found objects, toys, and self-made percussive sculptures are all fair game. Borbo has also been observed using live electronics and contact mics as an electro-acoustic tool to augment its percussive sonic palette. A natural buffoon since birth, Borbo rejects self-seriousness in favor of whimsy, queering its own reality by transfiguring clown from performance art to lifestyle and gender.
The duo is currently on their Rust Belt Tour. Blending their typical acts with the essence of the road, the themes have a bit more of a bite to them than they would in Brooklyn. Through this journey, they hope to continue to curate a unique and whimsical craft to share with the world. You can connect with them on Instagram at @borbo.the.clown and @maximum_security_prism.

When I saw this being promoted on Glitterbox’s Instagram right on the heels of our first real clown show there, I was like, “ANOTHER CLOWN SHOW? SIGN US UP!” Henry, good sport that he is, was like, “OK, I will work on adapting to this latest swerve in our lifestyle.”

I was super stoked because a few days before, Jess texted me and said that she and Shawn were free that night and wanted to join us!! And Shawn ended up bringing his cousin Rachel as well! We had a cohort for the clown show!

But first! Henry and I got to Glitterbox around 6:30 when doors opened and I immediately saw a familiar face walking toward the theater — it was someone from the audience at the last clown show who also got to participate in the skit that Henry was involved in! They were the one holding the “boom,” if you feel like going back and watching the video on this post.

Desperate to braid myself into the local clown scene, I went right up to them and (hopefully not too maniacally) said, “Hi! Were you at the last clown show? I recognize you!” and they were like, “Oh! Yes, I was” and, like a cartoon talking with her jaw fully detached and jittering like a pair of wind-up teeth, I (CALMLY) squealed, “And you’re a clown too right?? I fell down the rabbit hole on Instagram after the last show….” and they confirmed that yes they are a clown but no, they would not be performing that night. Their name is Doris! I made contact with a clown and I am so happy. Doris is so pleasant and was a joy to chat with. Meanwhile, Henry had been trying to cross the street and witnessed this from afar, so he looked very tense when he made his way over to me and had a WHAT DID YOU DO look on his face. He is always so afraid that I’m going to embarrass him.

The poster said that doors were at 6:30 so we walked on in like we owned the place and the box office guy (I LOVE HIM, he is so nice) was like, “Oh! Hi!” because he thought doors were at 7 so it was kind of awkward and I said we could leave and come back but he asked BORBO AND PRISM, still in their civilian clothes and setting up the stage, if they minded if we stayed and they said no! Luckily, Doris came in soon after along with a few others. And then Shawn, Jess and Rachel! Shawn was in full on brag-mode because they were on time, lol. Then I introduced them to Doris! But really I was like, “GUYS WOULD YOU LOOK I MADE A FRIEND I THINK?” I’m trying so hard to be the old me and actually talk. to people in public. It’s….a work in progress. Check back later this year.

The show fully started around 7:30, with local clown AZIZZY. OK first of all—after we left the first clown show earlier this month and I started doing the late night Instagram click-throughs, I realized that this was the person sitting behind me that night who had the most INFECTIOUS laughter, so much so that they made the opening act that night seem exponentially more hilarious to me (that opening act was actually the person who teaches clown courses! I’m learning so much about this community after only just realizing it exists at all).

Their routine was about 30 minutes long and my face hurt was smiling so hard. This clown is A JOY. Hilarious. Endearing. Creative. And their sad face!! I kept murmuring, “Awww” and then looking to make sure Henry the Heartless was having the same reaction.

I am prepared to be the biggest AZIZZY groupie this city has seen.

Before the show started, I was trying to explain to Jess and Shawn about the last one we attended and how it’s not your classic Bozo at the Children’s Party mainstream clown stereotype and while it’s not overtly “scary” like those you’d encounter at a haunted house, there is something dark and sardonic about the characters these Neo-clowns create, and it can even be kind of provocative.

While AZIZZY embodied this description, Borbo and Prism came on the stage to totally flip that description on its head. While they were dressed clown-esque, this was more performance art than comedy.

While Borbo sat at a table and created a soundscape that at times felt like it was actually going to make me go inside (think: lots of repetitive industrial sounds and echoing squeaks of toys, etc.), Prism sat on the floor in front of a projector and played with colors and textures. It was one of the oddest, coolest, eeriest, cerebral shows I have ever sat through and it was completely unexpected. It wasn’t for everyone – one woman walked out. I guess I get it, the sounds were so hypnotic and intense at times that it did feel like we were part of some Clockwork Orange experiment. Like, how much can you handle before your mind explodes into a swarm of chittering plastic creepy-crawlies.

It was uncomfortable at moments and I think that was part of the process. This was meant to be something that you could discuss with your friends after and everyone has a different takeaway. For me, it was just interesting how the jarring soundtrack complemented the experimental shapes and colors projected on the screen. We were literally watching these people play with sounds and sights. Like a live Mattress Factory exhibit. Definitely not for everyone but luckily, we are all super weirdos and artists at heart so we all had positive takeaways, I think.

For me, the best way I can describe it is that I felt like I was sitting in a stationary haunted house—not so much the images, but the SOUNDSCAPE. It was very reminiscent to the sounds that are blasting throughout some haunted houses, meant to make you feel on edge or that you’re literally going insane. So, I felt like I was sitting in a chair while the haunted house was happening in front of me rather than walking through it. And you know how much I love haunted houses. I might not look like it on the outside, but I am 100% the target audience for this type of avant garde art.

The finale was a puppet show, and Prism made sure to offer the disclaimer that this was not going to be “clown” themed and that there might be images projected on the screen that could be considered sensitive to some. I was worried it was going to be animal-stuff but it wasn’t so I was OK!

BUT BRO, that puppet show was incredible.

Shawn’s takeaway was that it was a cautionary tale about beastiality, don’t fuck sheep, and Jess cried, “You needed a puppet show to tell you that beastiality is bad??” LOL.

OMG, I have been yammering on all week about this show. I wish I had better words to explain how completely captivated I am by this entire scene. Like, I’m giddy over it. All three clowns from that night followed me back on Instagram and I am so excited to stay in the loop and continue to support them! I even bought my first clown merch that night!

Borbo and Prism make all of their merch using repurposed shirts so no two are the same, and I love that. I got this long-sleeved shirt and it’s so cozy! I wore it in my work meeting on Wednesday on purpose because Wendy is so alarmed at these latest turn of events (she is th biggest clown hater I know) and she yelled, “NO! TAKE THAT OFF!” lol.

Anyway, I love clowns. I love the Glitterbox. I don’t want to do any kind of performing but I would love to get involved with between the scenes stuff at that theater, maybe volunteer Henry for set design or costume sewing. Who knows, but I have felt so lost since 2024 and this is actually making me feel kind of grounded, like have I maybe found a place where I possibly could fit in and make friends?

Sigh.

Bro. When I saw that Honey Revenge was coming back to Pittsburgh this summer, I was all in. I accidentally fell HARD for them last year when they headlined a show I went to specifically for the opening band. I love when that happens. They are one of my non-Kpop regular listens — in fact, we listened to them a lot in the car last summer when we were on our dumb midwest roller coaster road trip for my birthday and Chooch was very annoyed.

Specifically, Honey Revenge was headlining the idobi Radio Summer School Tour and at first that meant nothing to me because I wasn’t familiar with any of the other bands but I loved that it was giving “Warped Tour Lite” in a way. I mean, there was even a Peta2 street teamer passing out stickers and bracelets to everyone standing outside in line. It really felt so nostalgic.

(Did you guys know that Chooch became a vegetarian after visiting a Peta2 tent at his second Warped Tour? I had no influence over that at all!)

Standing in line was actually one of the low points of the evening because not only did it start pouring—and while we were blessedly under a tent for that, we also happened to be under a tent with some very loud and angry woman who, after snapping at the Peta2 volunteer, proceeded to spend the next 20 minutes reading out loud from her phone all the terrible things about Peta and I was just like, “OH FOR THE LOVE, PLEASE SHUT UP.” I’m not super gaga over Peta either but I have been a vegetarian since 1996 and donate to the ASPCA monthly so please go away. She seemed SUPER FUN.

Another low point was the fact that this was at the Roxian. Truly do not care for this venue. The pit is SO TINY and the rest of the standing room area is obstructed by so many things, it’s just fucking annoying. And I knew that this show was probably going to get a little more spicy than my brittle old broad bones can withstand so being in the pit was not something that I was willing to risk. Plus, I knew if I went down there, the first time Henry had to leave to go to the bathroom would be the last time I’d see him until the show was over because no way was he going to bother to fight his way back to me, LOL.

We did manage to get a spot at the barricade directly behind the drink rail at least. The downside of this was two fold:

• now we were standing with Older People who love to yap during the bands;
• once the people who bought seats at the drink rail arrived, there was some minimal obstruction. It wasn’t too bad but the two bitches who were right in front of me reminded me of Christina and her idiot sister and the idiot sister one of the two was REALLY ANNOYING at times.

The people next to me ended up revolving as the night went on. The one couple bolted after the third band because that was all they cared about and I was like THANK THE LORD because the woman literally COULD NOT stop talking. She turned around constantly to say stuff to the guy, like she was on a swivel, and it was so distracting. He was super chatty too, they both were talking to anyone and everyone around who would engage. They quickly lost interest in me, lol.

But yeah, I was surprised how many couples were there together, especially older couples, considering this was a mostly female-fronted lineup (ONE band had a guy singer and it really fucked with the vibe) and very young bands in general.

Anyway, let’s get into the bands!

The great thing about Summer School is that they chose a local band from every city the tour came to, and Pittsburgh’s winning band was Carmela Donna….Band? Creatures? I still have no idea what their official name is because THEY NEVER SAID IT and also their Instagram has it listed as just Carmela Donna, Carmela Donna Band, and Carmela Donna’s Creatures. Or something.

I was skeptical at first because they came out guns blazing but it didn’t feel cohesive. But then then they really jelled and found their footing and I ended up really enjoying their set. Especially when they introduced a green beachball to the crowd and look, I have been to a hundred summer music festivals where beach balls abound, but for some reason, I was very entertained. I guess because it was such a small space and people were COMMITTED. I kept hoping it would make its way to me but the closest it came was to one of the people at the drink rail in front of me (not Christina and her idiot sister, but a normal couple to the left of them who were very unbothersome).

Carmela reminded me of Chooch’s first crush/mentor Courtney.

That means nothing to you.

But someday when I’m 76 I’ll come back and read this, smile….and ask Chooch, “Who the fuck is Courtney?”

Anyway, this is my style and I’m excited to see them again. Hopefully soon, since they’re local??

Next up was Chase Petra. OK. This band ended up being my favorite. I can’t explain it but there was something Sundays / Billy Bragg-ish about them that transported me back to a very specific time in the 1990s. And the singer, Hunter, was SO FUNNY. She picked one girl out of the crowd – Molly – and said that everyone had to dance and if we didn’t, Molly was going to have to die, sadly. Afterward, she spared Molly but told her that the people in the back did not care about her so if she had to come back here, to just “watch out.” SHE WAS JUST SO CHARMING! And she had fish on her tights!

Oh also? She was very FREE PALESTINE AND FUCK TRUMP and we are HERE FOR THAT. This is why I love going to these kinds of concerts! It makes me feel so safe.

This was my favorite one!!

Winona Fighter was up next (I have to say that everyone worked SO HARD to get the stage ready extremely quickly between each band so there was minimal downtime) and this was the band that Chatty Cathy next to me was there for so she suddenly got super energetic and then immediately left after their set. Byeee.

Anyway, WOW. I had listened to some of their songs in preparation of this night and I will say that nothing really stuck out. This is TRULY one of those bands that you HAVE TO SEE LIVE.

They ended up being Henry’s favorite of the night (although his final review was: Everyone was good. I liked it. I know what you’re thinking – if only I could be that succinct, right? LOL NEVER) and I can’t argue with him there–SUPER HIGH ENERGY and the singer Coco WAS SICK — never would have noticed with the way she riotgrrrled her fucking face off up there.

“I’m a little stressed out, just a little stressed out, is anybody else stressed out” IS ALL OF US THESE DAYS. So fucking relatable.

South Arcade from Oxford, England was next and I was really forward to them, being the only other band there that I was moderately familiar with. They are just good, fun, summer pop punk. Basically, fuck Gwen Stefani, who needs her when Harmony Cavelle exists??

HER RASP. I love it so much.

OMG the late 90s/early 00s aesthetic is killing me in the best way.

I REALLY like them.  

Games We Play was the outlier here, the only band not fronted by a woman. I was…not here for it. Of course most of the men there were like “yay” when it was their turn. I just, I don’t know, I wasn’t really into it. They were very gimmicky and sound-wise, they were fine but it wasn’t anything groundbreaking. I was actually pretty annoyed through most of their set because it was like more skit than singing. I did eventually warm up to them, and I especially appreciated the singer’s Obama shirt, but I would not go out of my way to see them again.

It’s whatever.

Oh! He did ask him someone at the barricade to tie his shoe for him and I was THANK GOD HE DIDN’T ASK ME because I totally still tie my shoes with bunny ears.

“Yeah really,” Henry said with a smirk when I screamed this into his ear that night.

Henry palate cleanser.

Plus my frizzy hair from standing in the rain.

BUT THEN HONEY REVENGE!!!

MY FAVES! The people next to me had left (the girl part of the couple was so drunk that she was resting her head in her arms across the barricade and her boyfriend/husband was PISSED when she wanted to leave—bro, take care of your girl, you fucking shithead!! THIS IS WHY I PREFER SHOWS WHERE MOST OF THE PEOPLE ARE UNDER 21!!!!!!!) so I was able to move over to the left a little and not have Christina and her idiot sister in front of me anymore. Idiot sister had spent the entire night chair-dancing these very interesting seemingly choreographed dances that looked like if a referee became a wrestler and then had to do a dance off in the ring. I have no other way to explain it. But it was very strange and METHINKS a lot of it was probably TikTok moves.

Anyway, OFC there was one point when she decided to eschew the seat she paid extra for in order to stand up right in front of my face and do a more pronounced version of her TikTok compilation dance, now with feet stomping.

It was fine. It was whatever. It was one song so I allowed it. But sheesh, was she an interesting specimen.

Ugh, that time I really regretted not standing in the pit. :(

Oh! And Devin picked someone to come up and sing during one of the songs AND GUESS WHO GOT PICKED? Molly! She was really having the best night. There was also a little girl who was desperate to get picked so Devin picked both and told them to share the mic and as soon as Devin turned around, Molly snatched the mic from the kid LOL

MY FOREVER FAVORITE:

I really have no words other than I JUST REALLY ENJOY HONEY REVENGE. They’re fun, their stage presence is fantastic, they are good, inclusive people, and I just genuinely REALLY like their songs. Like, not a skippable track in the list.

And lastly here’s my little shitty collection of clips I recorded throughout the night:

I can’t wait to wear my Summer School Tour shirt the next time I see Chooch, LOLOLOLOL.

In keeping up with the theme of “if it looks even mildly cool, we’re doing,” I bought us tickets to this…clown show? at the Glitterbox. Ever since we went there for that film screening, I have been pressed to go back. It is just such a cool vibe, exactly what has been missing from my life all these years. This clown show ad popped up on their Insta and I was like, “Ooh, I love clowns. And he’s from Philly! We’re going.”

I did absolutely NO RESEARCH into this after that.

OMG and as soon as we got there (ofc we were FIRST), we passed a tall guy in the parking lot who said, “I think you can just go in, the door should be open,” and Henry was like, “I THINK THAT WAS THE CLOWN” because unlike me, he actually clicked and dicked around the Internet in an attempt to understand what dark corners he was accompanying me to.

As soon as we went inside and had our tickets scanned, I immediately grabbed two seats in the front row. We were the FIRST PEOPLE IN THERE so I don’t know why I was being so maniacal about claiming seats. It wasn’t that deep.

I love Glitterbox Theater so much, have I mentioned that? The same guy who was there filling in for the concession stand person was scanning tickets at the door and I was happy to see him because he reminds me of Kurt Travis a little bit and has such a nice, chill aura. He gave me a free sticker this time! I’m hoping that by the 3rd or 4th visit, we’ll start to become recognizable to the GBT peeps and maybe Henry can even volunteer to work the concession stand, doling out Pirate Booty and cans of Athletic.

Pre-show view from our front row seats LOL. Henry was like WHY DID YOU PICK SEATS IN THE FRONT THIS IS GOING TO BE BAD. I said, “Oh god, I hope there isn’t going to be audience participation” and he was like THIS IS A CLOWN SHOW YOU KNOW THERE WILL BE.

Henry even knew where the plastic cups were located behind the concession stand—see? He could totally work there. It would probably end up being all Faygo and Arizona for sale though.

OK, I have learned so much about this blossoming scene since Tuesday so while I was like, “Who is this and what is this that they’re doing?” in the moment, I can now tell you that the opening act was Sara Cantner who I now know is really big in the local fringe comedy scene (I also just learned about this too! I had been calling it avant garde up until now but I guess “fringe” is the word) so to have her do an impromptu 5 minute crowd warmer was pretty cool, it turns out! She came out, barefoot in jean shorts and a black tank top, guns blazing in the form of comedic interpretive dance. While she was really funny, there were two women behind us HOWLING and egging her on. Honestly, they were being so over-the-top that they were actually making me laugh even harder. It was very infectious like parasitic produce!

I later learned that Sara is an instructor at the Glitterbox’s clown classes, has toured the country with her own one-person shows, and is also an instructor at the Arcade Comedy Club in Pgh. Her bio also says “award-winning” but I’m not sure what award she has won although I can tell you it was deserved! She gave Molly Shannon vibes.

THEN IT TURNED OUT THAT AT LEAST ONE OF THE WOMEN BEHIND US IS ALSO A CLOWN. We eventually realized as the night went on that pretty much everyone in attendance was a clown, a clown-in-training, or related to a clown. And then there was us, the outliers! Just like at the Sandy Loaf film screening, LOL! We are slowly infiltrating one underground scene at a time, you guys. Henry had no idea this is how he’d be living out his Empty Nest Years yet here we are!

Next, we had local clown O’Ryan the O’Mazing. Out of all three performers that night, he is the most “traditional” clown and according to his website, he does do a lot of performances for children. However! His skit this night was a little more adult-themed, starting off with snorting lines of confetti out of his palm with a noise maker. It was really funny!

The fingers!

Anyway, he was very funny and my face was starting to hurt from laughing. Meanwhile, there was a lady next to Henry who has RBF through the whole thing, I was so confused!

During the intermission, the headlining clown, Mitchell, began readying the stage for his performance, which involved him setting up a prop table RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.

OK…I truly don’t even know where to begin with this one but I am obsessed. At first, of course, I was like GIANT WTF. He came out from behind the curtains wearing, I don’t even know, just layers of clothing with a babushka type thing on his head, yelling in a very theatrical 1920s actress drawl and somewhere along the way it was revealed to us that he was an octopus and he was trying to get to Hollywood, and honestly I HAVE NO IDEA and had whiplash from the chaos splayed out before me, but it was A GOOD TIME.

Then there was an entire “horse doctor” segment and the pregnant lady’s wife got picked to be the doctor and then three other volunteers had to get up there and neigh, trot, and gallop. It was so FUCKING STUPID but incredibly hilarious and I was in tears.

Then there was this bizarre and hysterical Little Red Riding Hood skit with the line “better for slurping and derping and sucking and fucking” and the woman he picked from the audience to play the role of the grandma who had that line said, “Oh, you’re KIDDING me” in an exasperated “anyone but me” tone.

One of the clowns-in-training had to hold a pool noodle and pretend that it was the boom but was told firmly “not to be weird with it” and Mitchell’s mom got to be the camera person. THEN HENRY WAS HANDED A SPRAY BOTTLE OF WATER and was instructed to “make sure they get wet and I mean SOPPING wet.”

Oh, my stomach hurt so bad from laughing. Literally the whole night was pure chaos and I was so there for it.

I don’t have any pictures of this but actually my favorite part was when he came out from behind the curtain with a piece of cardboard held in front of his face. It had two holes cut out – one was a small square and another was a larger rectangle – and the way he was able to drag out a skit with no words and just peering out from the holes in this piece of cardboard was commemorable, honestly. It was SO FUNNY – he had someone (actually it was O’Ryan the O’mazing, now back in street clothes as an audience member) feeding him an apple? a lemon? through one of the holes and I was dying.

YOU HAD TO BE THERE.

I am NOT afraid of clowns by any stretch of the imagination but there was something about the vibe and theme of the night that was very nightmare fueling. In a good way, though. I felt uncomfortable and nervous at moments, but it was also so fucking ridiculous and hilarious. I really can’t explain it and trust me, I have tried to tell people about it since this night and they are always like “????”

We both had such a fantastic time and, having been thrown face first into the raging waters of clowncore, have already bought tickets for the next clown night at Glitterbox later this month!

But real quick, some more stuff about Mitchell Ryan: he’s from Philly and I have learned that there is a thriving clown scene there. He was telling us after the show to look up the Philly Clown Slams where a bunch of local Philly clowns and some visiting guest clowns as well get together and just perform these incredibly fringe, off-the-wall skits. Of course I told Chooch that he should go to one and he did not respond. I think he is so confused every time Henry and I go out and do something because it’s like we’re regressing rather than sitting at home watching our shows and getting old. (I mean, we also do that, too, don’t worry.)

Also, Philly was designated the “national center for clowns.” This is amazing. I am learning so much. Like, clowns don’t even have to dress like Bozo in order to be a clown. My friend Bill commented on my IG post and said that he too has noticed that the idea of “clowning” has really morphed into this cool and alternative (I think he also used the term sexy!) thing and it is TRUE. Mitchell’s set was definitely racy and a huge departure from your typical “twisting up balloon animals at Becky’s birthday party” that we tend to think of at the mention of clowns (or, you know, John Wayne Gacy).

When we were last with Shawn and Jess at the Greek food festival, I was lamenting over the fact that while I have a lot of interests, I have never really found my “group of people,” you know? Like, yes, I have my scenes (kpop, post-hardcore, horror) but the community/group aspect is not there. I don’t go to shows and make friends. I love horror and have gone to some horror events and have never felt like I belonged. Things like that.

But now I’m wondering – DID I JUST FIND MY PEOPLE?? I mean, I’m not saying I’m going to be signing up for clown classes anytime soon or ever, but I feel like I want to be friends with these people and I want to go out and make a conscious effort to support them. (Also, I suggested that Henry and I secretly train to become clowns and surprise Chooch with a public appearance when he’s home for the holidays but Henry frowned at that idea, and then when I was on the Glitterbox website and bluffed that I signed him up to volunteer for “any performances” he freaked out and yelled, “YOU DID NOT.”)

:)

I got an early start to my downtown solo day on Friday because Penelope woke me up during her witching hour and I never went back to bed. So I was basically killing time all morning before leaving at the reasonable hour of 8:15AM. It was basically like leaving for work but without the stress. And let me tell you, I would have been PISSED if I really was going downtown for work because it was already in the high 80s with humidity you could choke on. Honestly, it was choking a bitch out and I was that bitch.

Ugh, that brought back traumatic memories of walking into the office looking like a fucking swamp monster, face slick with a layer of oily sweat.

Now I was just walking into cafes looking at that, like a fucking greasy rat.

But…at least I got to cool off a bit on the T which was blessedly nearly empty thanks to most office people having the day off.

Anyway, I was excited to be on my own with my Charmera and a book. I usually just stay home when I have the day off and Henry has to work, so I’m glad that I committed to this plan because it turned out to be a pretty memorable day (BUT HOT AF).

Some Liberty Avenue snaps. Anthrocon was starting so downtown was actually pretty lively with furries arriving in droves. Most of them were no fursuited up though, and just had their lanyards on. But I did catch a handful of tails and ears! This is one of the things I miss most about not working from the office anymore. We used to get so collectively stoked for the furries. Most of the businesses down there do too, which is just so heartwarming—Pittsburgh can be so inclusive and welcoming when it wants to be.

And….segue to the killer killer killer graffiti lol. I appreciate that it looks like someone was practicing their cursive.

The fire station in the Strip has been putting out this sign for as long as I can remember. It’s so Pittsburgh.

This bar isn’t open anymore. It’s really crazy how much things in the Strip have changed since I used to work downtown. I walked down there quite often and now there are giant empty lots where buildings have been torn down and I can’t even remember what used to be there.

I do think it’s an actual crime that there is no music venue in this area anymore. (Well, the City Winery I guess but I mean a legit local venue like Metropol, Rosebud and Altar Bar. So weird to me.

Anyway! My first stop was Novaria. It’s a Syrian cafe and I was excited to get something, anything, iced. In fact, just skip the cup and dump that ice right down my shirt, please.

I got the “back home latte” which had date paste and cardamom. It was really good but the best part was the little chat I had with the barista whose name I later learned was Russell when some tech bro with a booming voice was jawing his ear off and bellowed, “Don’t take this the wrong way but you look like a Russell. Historically—” and then he went off some tangent about famous Russells but I couldn’t hear the rest because the two fucking obnoxious “we’re the main characters here” Gen Y ballet bun bitches started cackling over whatever basic conversation they were having.

All of this is to say that this place–or at least, the timing–was not conducive to getting any reading done. Especially not once Tech Bro sat at the table in front of me and then immediately proceeded to take a Very Important Business Call.

But back to Russell! We had a nice chat about physical media because he asked me what else I was planning to do on my “My House Has No A/C So I Don’t Want To Sit There All Day on My Day Off” adventure and I mentioned the possibility of browsing the records at Eide’s. He said he and his roommates just started a CD collection, and that he bought his boyfriend Miss Congeniality on VHS which I thought was cute. (Not the movie, but the gesture, I hate Sandra Bullock a lot.)

I told him about Chooch starting a DVD collection and my mom unhauling several boxes of them on him, and how these younger generations are really fighting back against digital media which I think is really admirable honestly. Also unexpected because these young kids seem, in general, so detached and incapable of caring about preserving ownership.

But yeah, speaking of! I went to Eide’s after that. They don’t have the greatest selection of vinyl but I was at the mercy of my own two feet and had to pretty much stick with the area the trolley dumped me off in. (I don’t do buses.)

I used to come here A LOT when I worked downtown and the same guy who was always on the vinyl floor then was there on this day too. It’s so wild to me because I definitely used to go there way more than Henry, but Henry is the one who is occasionally saying, “Hey it’s the guy from Eide’s” when we’re out and about. I felt like he just said this recently too but I couldn’t remember at the time.

So, he was there talking to someone who seemed like he was a regular customer, about Trump’s slush fund. I mean, they were like SCREAMING about it in disgust and while typically angry men would make me tense up, I instead felt like, “OK, this is a safe space.” Anytime I overhear strangers ranting about Trump, it’s like, “Good, these are my people. Let me have a go, too.”

Then their convo segued into one of them talking about their older female cat not eating that much and going from being chubby to skinny, and it was so bizarre because it could have been me saying those exact words about Penelope.

These were all the things I overheard while browsing the new vinyl section.

The one guy ended up leaving so the guy working there started watching MSNBC videos and again, I felt safe.

Eventually, I took my three picks up to the counter.

“Gunship!!! Great pick. You have excellent taste,” he said, obviously happy about this. “You know who else you might like, and I think we have it here—-” he started to say as he flipped to the next record in the stack I handed him. “Yep, you know!” he said, smiling and shaking his head as he held up The Midnight’s new record.

You guys!!! We had the lengthiest conversation about synth wave and he said he was at the Midnight show AND THAT IS WHERE HENRY SAID HE THOUGHT HE SAW HIM! He just kept shaking his head in surprise every time I knew of a band he was referencing and I felt so seen. When I say no one gives a shit about the music I like, I truly mean that. So to have this record store man validating me, I actually wish I had a video of it to rewatch every night before bed.

The conversation naturally segued into him talking about how he is normally into industrial and how his record label puts out these really compilations to benefit cancer research. He pointed to a display on the counter that showed the logo and said I could go to the website to learn more and I did a double take.

“That actually looks really familiar, like I was just on this website—-you’re not selling tickets to The Black Queen show, are you?” I asked, squinted at the display.

“Yes! I booked that show!” he exclaimed. I told him I bought tickets and he high-fived me! So then we talked about The Black Queen and I was like THIS IS THE BEST DAY I HAVE HAD IN A LONG TIME! Just the whole social connection aspect of it. Working from home—well, you know. I’m starved for these kinds of real life interactions. I hate “chatting” on Teams. I want to TALK for real. And not about work!! I feel like people ask me how my weekend was, etc and I just give vague wrap-ups because I know no one is genuinely going to give a shit about how we went to see Dance Gavin Dance and ran into our Sugarspell Scoops friend or how Henry was standing next to Danny Lohner during one of the opening bands for the The Black Queen. (Literally tried to excitedly tell someone and they were like “Sorry, I don’t know how that is.” Ugh. I am LONELY, lol.)

Anyway, we formally introduced ourselves —his name is Jim, I can stop calling him the Eide’s guy now!— and he even showed me some formatting issues he’s dealing with on his website and, I don’t know! It was just a really moment in my little “Erin Spreads Her Wings and Flies” day. I am so glad I decided to go out by myself. When I am by myself, I can small talk like I’m 1998 Erin again. I can’t explain it.

I left Eide’s with my new records in a paper bag which I had to tuck under my arm because it didn’t have a handle and it soaked up my sweat REAL QUICK. It was disgusting. The air was disgusting. I was disgusting. But I still one more stop on my list so I navigated through the hordes of furries (things were really start to rev up down there!) and made my way to Market Square. But first, I waved to my work. Hi, law firm!

The Boredom Set was my last stop. It was definitely not there when I used to work downtown – we had very little options back then outside of Starbucks. We used to have Crazy Mocha which was a local chain and I LOVED THAT PLACE but it got ran into the ground. That’s neither here nor there!

I was DOUBLY SWEATY by the time I made it here, as the temps were definitely well into the 90s at this point, so me and my Krispy Creme complexion crashed through the entrance of this…very un-Burgh-like cafe. The interior was cute at a glance but then I quickly began to scrutinize the furniture positioning and the fact that there is a huge goldenrod curtain that runs down the middle of the space—what are they hiding back there. I don’t know, it was an oddly designed space and that made me uncomfortable not to mention the barista had NO PERSONALITY and high-key made me feel like I was a nuisance for giving her work to do.

“Just so you know there is oat milk and whole milk in this,” she monotoned in the style of THAT GENERATION after I ordered the banana milk matcha latte, no eye contact, yes annoyance. I just said yes, because I know, banana milk is milk.

I was obsessing over her rudeness for a good portion of the day, and clearly into the next day.

It was good but that’s probably because of the banana milk, who knows if the matcha itself was any good, but judging by their Instagram, they seem SUPER INTO BEING COFFEE SHOP PROS so I’m going to assume it was OK even though I didn’t clock what matcha they use there.

I sat next to a table of four furries. They weren’t in full-fur but one of them did have his head on the table.

One of the tables was RIGHT in front of the door to t he restroom which seemed incredibly awkward. Please read an article on Feng shui and fix this, I don’t know, the whole seating arrangement just felt so off to me.

BUT! Other than that, it was somehow quite comfortable vibe-wise. I was actually able to read some chapters AND journal AND send Chooch pictures of my vinyl haul in between eavesdropping on the barista talking to some older man about friend drama she was going through, which softened me to her because a lot of what she was saying was HASHTAG RELATABLE GIRL, I FELT THAT.

I was looking at their Instagram today because I do want to go back (they have another location in a clothes shop in Shadyside so maybe that one…) and try just their drip coffee since they seem to really do a lot of flexing on how INTO THE SCIENCE OF COFFEE they are. Anyway, in my Insta travels, I found the barista who is engaged to the owner, so that tracks. It’s not like she’s going to get fired.

It was around noon by this point and Henry was leaving work, so I walked around the area a little bit to get some more pictures before catching the T back home.

Half-furry.

As mentioned, downtown businesses REALLY lean into Anthrocon and I have always loved that. Unlike the stupid draft, they probably do benefit from this crowd! I mean, furries gotta eat.

And then I was pretty much down for the count for the rest of the day. Exhausted. My body felt like melted rubber. I was COOKED.

Next time I do this, hopefully it won’t be during a heatwave, lol.

Saturday was a whirlwind. I stupidly scheduled an appointment at Quest in Mt. Lebanon because Nourish was paying for me to get updated panels. (Side note: if you’re interested in getting your diet and nutrition in check but need a real person to talk to in order to hold yourself accountable, I highly recommend looking into the Nourish app. Most insurance will fully cover it—mine does, surprisingly–and you can choose a real dietician to schedule check-in calls with. I love mine—Amanda—with my whole heart and I think it’s incredible that Nourish pays for labwork.)

Anyway! I had originally planned on just walking there but then it was raining so Henry drove me. I ended up getting a guy phlebotomist and he was nice enough (saw my Bambi and Marcy tattoos and commented that I was the second “cat arm” he had in a row so that was nice small talk but literally nothing helps me in these situations because I hate hate hate getting blood drawn so much) but he put the rubber band thing on so fucking tight and it ended up being one of the most painful (and longest!!!) blood draws of my life, yet he left NO BRUISE and I barely bled afterward?! I was so fucking confused. I was expecting my arm crook to be FUCKED after that. You couldn’t even see where the needle ruthlessly penetrated me, though!

Of course, I didn’t know this at first because I kept the cotton ball and tape on it for as long as it lasted.

I guess the dude could tell that I was wrecked because he asked if I needed to sit for a while and I said no because I just wanted to go home and eat breakfast so bad. It’s hilarious because I had been fasting and 1. I never eat at night; 2. I don’t usually eat breakfast until 9am-9:30am and it wasn’t even 9am yet, so I don’t know why I was acting like I had just emerged from a fortnight in the desert. But you know me, should have gone into theater they always said.

As soon as I got in the car, Henry attempted to start it and IT WOULDN’T TURN ON. We never have issues with the car so it was super unexpected. And of course, it happened a day after we started actively talking about trading it in (for another Kona, though! We love our Kona and just want a new one because we put MILES on our cute little Jinki.). While Henry was messing with AAA, I said I was just going to walk home, and slid out of the car.

I was walking with a drunken gait, gauze on my arm (the tape was now half un-stuck and flapping in the breeze), looking like a regular local druggie. So of course I would have THREE small-talk moments with other pedestrians. One guy was SUPER chatty, the living embodiment of a bitch with pep in their step, and crossed the street with me, matching my stride, yapping about the weather while I was swaying from blood loss.

“I didn’t realize it was going to rain so much!” he said, and I mumbled something moderately comprehendible about “it’s supposed to be like this all day.”

“Oh no, I hope not! We’re going to downtown tonight!” Cool. Bye.

Then I passed another guy who had just stood up from tying his shoe. We made eye contact so I slurred, “Good morning” and he said, “Good morning, babe!” And then we performed a mutual horrified doubletake as he realized what he said. It was actually really funny, the way it just slipped out like that and I didn’t mind because it’s been a minute since I was called babe by someone that wasn’t Henry being sarcastic.

I made it to our block and then passed one of my Brookline walker friends while I was on the phone with Henry and of course he was like WHO WAS THAT when he heard me say hi to someone. God, calm down, master. Anyway, it turned out it was the battery so that was a fun way to hemorrhage $250 first thing in the morning. Speaking of hemorrhaging, my perimenopause periods have been so demonic lately that I had bled through an ULTRA tampon (thankfully I was wearing black jeans!!!) and didn’t realize it until I had been sitting on the bed while changing clothes and stood up to see THAT I BLED ALL OVER THE BARE MATTRESS because Henry had JUST stripped the bed that morning. I lost my mind and started sobbing and called Henry to tell him and he was like, “It’s OK, I’ll take care of it!” and he came home and cleaned up my Carrie’s prom scene recreation and not that I needed a reason to be reminded that he is amazing, but come on. He literally cleaned up my blood while I sat on the couch, eating my toast and crying.

Talk about a morning of bloodletting. If it hadn’t been for that pesky daylight, I’d have been a beacon for neighborhood vampires.

I guess this is my payback because I had always had super regular and normal periods and now it’s a Greek tragedy.

Speaking of Greek! Later that afternoon, we met Jess and Shawn in Oakmont for some Greek church’s food festival! Luckily, I did not bleed out while there.

But first, I had to take this picture to send to Chooch because Henry was really excited to show off the new shirt he bought himself that is actually nice and not just some oversized T-shirt in a hue that falls somewhere between dirt and puke on the color wheel.

I was excited to take my new Charmera with me! This is part of the Millenium collection. The first thing I did when I saw Jess and Shawn was shove it in their faces and yell LOOK I GOT A NEW ONE I HAVE TWO NOW!

Greek church bathroom selfie!

Post-bloodletting.

And then the Charmera version! Selfies are challenging to take with this tiny babe of a camera.

Mini photoshoot while waiting for Shawn and Jess, lol.

Once Jess and Shawn arrived, we immediately began procuring food. I was so excited! I haven’t had Greek food in a minute and I was READY. Mostly for the baklava and other honey-laden sweet treats.

This was part of Jess and Shawn’s meat haul.

Henry and I got dolmas, spanakopita and a REALLY DELICIOUS rice pudding to share. I was in heaven.

Henry and Shawn both got this deluxe assortment of Greek cookies and baked goods, and Henry and I also had a baklava sundae (made with Glen’s frozen custard!) to share. It was so satisfying.

We occupied this table for so long that we probably toed the line of squatting. But we always have so much to talk about! Jess suggested that we find an amusement park to road trip to and I almost lost my mind in excitement! Ever since Laura moved out west, I haven’t been able to get anyone hyped to join us even just at Kennywood, so this suggestion made my whole day.

A pensive pose.

We learned that “vespers” means “prayers.” We did not join in.

We eventually parted ways around 5PM because it was POURING* so our plan of going for a walk at a neighboring park was definitely drowned out. That was a bummer, but we still had such a great time hanging out and beasting a buffet of Greek goods. I can’t wait until the next hang (which is up to me to plan this time so I gotta start researching interesting things to do around here this summer)!

*(Is it weird that I immediately thought of the guy I crossed the street and hoped that his evening downtown wasn’t ruined?)

On the way home, we stopped at Old Thunder so I could get a stamp in my idiot book. I had a 1/2 pour of some kind of Czech lager and it was nice.  I took pictures until my Kodak died (Henry rejoiced).

The bartenders were really nice and the beer was good but GOOD LORD were there a lot of children there! Like, really young, screaming brat children. I absolutely hated it. Also, watching parents drink multiple beers knowing that they’re (probably!?) going to get behind the wheel and drive home with their children in the car is just baffling and scary.

Here’s my Charmera video with the Cure playing in the background, good luck hearing it!

Aside from the car and my traumatic double-blood loss, it was a really excellent day!

Memorial Day Weekend is off to a great start! We spent most of Saturday with Shawn and Jess and it was, as expected, an awesome day! We started off at the main Troy Hill Art House – La Hütte Royal – which just reopened this month after being under refurb for the last year and a half. I was there many years ago with Corey and Kara so I was interested to see what all had changed.

They don’t allow any pictures or video, and usually I will try to be sneaky but we had the same docent as we did a few weeks ago when Henry and I toured Lighthouse Darkhouse (Zach I think is his name?) and I really like and respect this guy so I left my phone in my purse which was hung on a hook as soon as we entered the house.

There were two other people on the tour with us – a quiet couple who seemed cool – and a new docent-in-training who was so cute and cool, I loved him and his calming presence. He was wearing really cool patchwork pants which I feel is necessary to add, it’s an important detail that I must remember always.

I also had to laugh though because before we left the house, I jokingly said, “Maybe I can sneak pictures with my little Kodak!” which was hanging off my purse.

“That makes a shutter sound though, doesn’t it?” Henry pointed out. And then as we were all standing on the porch waiting for Shawn and Jess, Zach goes, “Is that a camera?!” so then he and the other docent were marveling over it as I explained that it came in a Blind Box but yes it actually works and it takes video too! Seriously, this thing is so hilariously fun to me for such a simple object.

OK, so the house was ALMOST the same but there were some new rooms, including one that used to be the private room that they used as a office (“We moved it down the street to one of the other houses,” Zach explained and I almost added, “Yeah the one that you let HENRY PEE IN.”) but now is completely covered in records – floor, walls, and ceiling – with an entire kitchen counter/sink tilted in the air with mechanical arms bowing some crazy kitchen sink-cum-string instrument. It was incredible and I whispered to Henry, “We need one of these.”

“WHERE?” he asked incredulously.

And there is a basement now which I don’t think there was previously! The upstairs was mostly the same but I feel like it might have been rearranged, I don’t know, I can’t remember. But here is the post from when I was first there with Corey and Kara maybe 10 years ago!

Troy Hill Field Trip!

I really enjoyed the experience this time because Zach is such a knowledgeable and friendly docent — you know he’s basically there to make sure people don’t get unruly, desecrate the art, steal things, get hurt, etc. — but his presence is never looming or intrusive. He’s very easy-going and I felt like asking him if he wanted to grab some coffee with us afterward but he was already on to his next tour at one of the other houses.

And the other docent is going to be great too! We had some great convos with him in the sculpture garden, talking about the Bayernhof and experimental French bands. I told him about my doorbell playing Kraftwerk and how recently two people came to my house trying to shill windows and they were VISIBLY ALARMED / NOT AMUSED by the doorbell tune and that pissed me off. Like, no I can’t buy windows from your un-fun ass because I don’t own this house but even I could, I WOULDN’T due to your obvious disdain!

Afterward, we went to the Modern Cafe for an early dinner + LOTS OF YAPPING.

Henry was so focused on taking this selfie that he forgot to smile.

I’m still getting the hang of this Kodak, OK?!

The music they were playing at Modern Cafe was god tier. Yes, Howard Jones, The Cure, Crowded House – it was just a wall of jams!

We totally overstayed our welcome there but I didn’t feel too bad because it wasn’t crowded (at one point, aside from some bar flies, we were the only people taking up a table) but it did get to the point where I could have ordered dinner part 2 – chatting makes me hungry!

I swear we could never run out of things to talk about with Jess and Shawn. And the crazy part is that I don’t feel emotionally or mentally spent afterwards like I often do after having to “be on” for any length of time out in the wild and I think it’s because…I’m not being “on,” I’m just being “me.” That’s all I ever want!

I’m so glad that we are doing a better job at hanging out more regularly! I have a bad habit of only seeing a lot of my friends just when I have parties, but then I don’t get to talk to everyone like I want to so while it’s great to “see” people, the actual connection isn’t there.

This midlife crisis has me reassessing and adjusting everything in my life, I swear! I never thought I’d be pushing 50 and over here trying to break out of comfort zones and routines ON PURPOSE. But it’s been so fun and fulfilling!

We met up with Amy and Dick yesterday at the Hazelwood Brew House. It’s a pretty cool place with three different breweries in one space so I was able to get three stamps and also hit my wall where I have decided I don’t like drinking and that OCD over these stamps is putting me down a path I don’t like. So, that’s cool.

But there were two highlights from the day that I want to talk about, aside from hanging out with Amy and Dick obviously and having a random guy take the below picture of us and completely cutting off the “Hazelwood  Brew House” sign which was the whole reason we asked a stranger to take the picture for us (AFTER HENRY WAS GOING TO PRECARIOUSLY PROP MY PHONE UP ON A RAILING!!!).

Highlight #1:

I was at the Abstract Realm bar by myself, asking the guy there about the different beers. I was still focused on making a decision so I didn’t quite hear what he said next but it sort of sounded like “Dance Gavin Dance.” I looked up at him dumbly and asked, “….huh?” and he goes, “Your shirt? That’s Dance Gavin Dance?”

BRUH. No one ever knows DGD out in the wild! (Well, at least not back when I was super into them but I have realized that they are definitely a bit more popular now since the pandemic.) We ended up having a LONG chat about post-hardcore. He has never seen DGD live and I was like, “NO, YOU GOT TO” and then told him that they’re coming to Stage AE next month and he didn’t know that! I actually JUST bought our tickets for this show on Friday, and then found out right after that it was also the 19th anniversary of Downtown Battle Mountain so it felt like kismet that that was the day I pulled the trigger and bought the tickets!

Then the Abstract Realm guy unbuttoned his shirt a little to show me that he was wearing a Circa Survive shirt (!!) so then we started chatting about Anthony Green and Sounds of Animals Fighting and the whole time I could hear myself like I was hovering up in the rafters and I realized, “Hey, she’s being herself! She’s talking in her real voice!” and then I double-realized that it was because I finally had someone to talk with about music. Fuck, it was invigorating. Especially to not be mansplained in the process.

HIGHLIGHT #2:

My Aunt Susie randomly (not so random, really – she and her husband go to breweries every weekend it seems!) came in right around the time we were getting ready to leave. It was kind of weird though because Amy has never met her and was JUST asking me if I have talked to her recently. I actually have not, it’s probably been since around my Aunt Sharon (Susie’s sister) died in 2016 aside from some Instagram likes here and there. And then – poof. Susie appears, lol.

I hoped she didn’t feel ambushed but I wanted to say hi and also give Amy the opportunity to meet her aunt. It was really nice to see her again — we used to jokingly call each other “brat” when I was growing up and spending a lot of time at my Pappap’s house and she was still living there until she got married so we were actually around each other a lot back then. My childhood BFF and I were even in her wedding!

Susie has always been super cool (and normal, which speaks volumes if you know my family) and I really hope that we get to hang out for real at some point now that we ran into each other.

I think I was overstimulated though because I was up almost all night, just laying in bed with my mind racing. I don’t know why this happens to me now–it’s like my social anxiety is mad at me for ignoring it in the moment so it rears its obsessive head right when I’m trying to fall asleep. So rude.

I’ve been following this little local theater on Instagram for a few years now and have been dying to go to something, anything, there everything they do feels so me-coded that I honestly couldn’t imagine anyone I know wanting to go to anything there with me. I know, I could go alone, but I don’t always feel secure enough for solo outings!

But then a few moths ago, I saw a post from Glitterbox about an upcoming film screening from local artist Sandy Loaf and it looked EERIE and definitely reminded me of something that Henry and I would have rented at Incredibly Strange Video back in the day. So I figured, a film screening! That’s a good way to indoctrinate myself into the Glitterbox scene, and something that I thought Henry wouldn’t be too opposed to.

When I tell you I have been LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS EVENT! I was so giddy yesterday (well, until my neighbor pissed me off and killed the vibe) that it was everything I could do just to get through work.

This was one of the poles near Glitterbox, a good sign.

Meanwhile, Chooch the Film Buff was like, “Wait, what movie are seeing??” and then, “Sandy Loaf better get on Letterboxd.”

FINALLY!!

Of course, we were too early because I misread the info and thought that the movie started at 7PM but doors opened at 7PM and it started at 8PM. The door was locked but some people were coming out so I asked if it was open yet and they were like, “Um, not sure but it’s probably fine to go in!” so we were going to but then the door locked behind them and I was like, “I AM NOT KNOCKING ON THIS DOOR” but!! That gave us a little taste of how friendly the people were going to be that night! I got good vibes immediately. This will mean nothing to anyone reading this but I texted Chooch, “Basically everyone here seems like they could have been Cheryl’s roommate at one point in their lives.”

Cheryl was Chooch’s piano teacher for many years but she taught in a very avant garde, non-traditional way, using a keyboard and punk aesthetics, having been in bands for years. She moved around A LOT and had the coolest rotating array of roommates, all very artistic, non-binary, queer, trans, awesome. I loved that while Chooch was learning a musical skill, he was also hanging out with very cool and awesome people so there was no way he was going to grow up to be anything even slightly resembling MAGA. To this day, I credit Cheryl with teaching him so much more than keyboard, whether she knew it or not!

We eventually went back, after chilling in the car to kill time, once we saw people turning the corner toward the theater. Bro! Immediately, I was obsessed. It’s a small space, and the lights were dimmed and intimate. And there was a living room set up off to the side with the big face thing from “Smoker’s Lounge”!

Even the concession stand experience was wonderful! The person manning the counter was actually the projectionist and filling in for the regular concession person and kept apologizing to us but 100% there was no need! First of all, I want to shoutout the fact that they had TWIN PEAKS playing on a tiny TV. The whole fucking vibe of this corner screamed my name. DOES MY HOUSE NEED A CONCESSION CORNER?!!?

OMG HENRY DOES IT?!!? CAN WE?

I got a SPICY Jackworth Ginger Beer. Not-the-Concession-Person raved about it and said it was their latest obsession so I was sold. Hoo boy, it really did have a KICK, and not a quick kick either, but a rapid-fire punting that lasted even after I drained the can of the last fire-spitting drop. Delectable! It’s also made right in Homestead, which is wheee Glitterbox is located! Love the local support.

I kept the can because I wanted to put the label in my journal and now that I’m looking at it in daylight, I see that HABANERO is a listed ingredient. Well, that tracks!

I also got a snack-sized pack of Goldfish! And a Glitterbox sticker!

Before the event started,  the MC for the night (Dolores) was experiencing technical difficulties getting her telephone microphone to work. The Not-Concession-Stand guy and someone else (Sandy Loaf, I think? My eyes are so bad and it was dark in that piece and I actually thought that the MC was Sandy Loaf the entire time until today when Henry was like, “I…don’t think that was her?” I’m so blind and stupid) were trying to fix the issue and this might have been Henry’s favorite part of the whole night, trying to identify the issue from his hemorrhoid-inducing seat. The envy he must have felt when the man in front of us eventually succumbed to the same desire and got up to troubleshoot the issue. I don’t think he ended up being any help though so Henry probably wrote something smug about it in his imaginary diary after we got home last night.

Before “Smoker’s Lounge,” the evening started with:

16mm Projection by Flea Market Films

• There was lengthy footage of a forest fire with someone plucking at out-of-tune guitar which added an incredible amount of dread and tension to an already panic-inducing visual account of preventable devastation and tragedy. (It started with someone tossing a lit cigarette out of their car window.)
• Some pretty hilarious vintage commercials too, including one for Kent cigarettes (it was a whole theme, you guys–not only was Sandy Loaf’s film called Smoker’s Lounge, but the entire event was billed as The Smoker’s Lounge, with Sandy Loaf hosting it as “Dolores,” a chain-smoking, Peggy Lee-loving MC from another dimension. LOVED HER.) There was also a commercial for some headache medicine and I asked Henry if he used to take it when he was a kid – you know, since he’s an elder – and he was like, “WHAT? NO! That probably had MORPHINE in it.”

EDENISTIX ‘STRANDGORE’

• OK. This is exactly what I have been…craving? Oddly? It was so fucked, so chilling, the reverb, demonic soundtrack is stuck in my head and I will be haunted for life. It reminded me of when Chooch was little and OBSESSED with making me watch “the scariest videos on YouTube” compilations, like the one with a walrus person and some fucked footage of someone eating cereal that sounds so banal but it was somehow one of the scariest things ever. That was this. I was so clenched and tensed watching it that if someone had sneaked over to me and gently placed even just their pinky on my shoulder, I’d have invented a new version of “jump scare” that involves not just jumping but SOMERSAULTING out of their skin.

SPEED DATING IN MONSTERBURGH By Olivia Cunnally

• This was such an unexpected highlight! Turns out the person who checked our tickets at the door was the filmmaker! She came up onto the stage in a mask (made by Sandy Loaf, I assume!) and acted as the host of the interactive speed dating portion of the night. You guys, I got really nervous because I legit thought this meant that the audience had to speed date with each other and I started to sweat a little, because SOCIAL ANXIETY. I felt like I was in a class with strangers and was just told we had to find a partner to work on a project together, or worse—we had to READ OUT LOUD. I a still traumatized from the time I had to read one of my essays out loud in my creative non-fiction class at Pitt, ugh, I hated it so much. But no – it was just a film a various monsters talking about themselves and what they want in a partner and then the audience had to vote by cheering for each one. The one I loved the most – Jackie – was also the audience’s favorite so that was exciting! Even Henry said he thought it was “good.”

And here’s a short video from the intermission, just to catch the vibes:

And then finally, it was time for “Smoker’s Lounge”! It is allegedly based on true unsolved cases from 1988-1990 in Pittsburgh and focuses heavily on the steel mills and the long-standing, lingering pollution they created in this area. It was haunting, disjointed, confusing, artistic, creepy, alarming…I honestly can’t explain it but again — this felt like a student film we would have rented from Incredibly Strange Video and then I would have obsessed over it for months. This is exactly like that. I loved it and it was extra special to experience it with an audience AND the filmmaker. I am obsessed with Sandy Loaf.

On the way home, I was whining to Henry about how desperately I wanted to make new friends there and he was like, “Well, you should have talked to people.” Wow, thanks, genius. Can’t wait to read your upcoming self help guide to making friends, you fucking Girl Scout.

I always feel so uncool around cool people because I’m so plain on the outside. Like what should I do, go up to people and start showing them pictures of my house, like, “This is what my house looks like and I think you would like being in it, wanna be friends?” Henry just shrugged like, “why not?” OK I’ll try this tactic next time. Then maybe I can host stuff here for Sandy Loaf!? AFTER PARTY AT THE APPLEDALES?!

The mind is reeling.

P.S. Henry and I are in this photo!

Many moons ago, I went to the OG Troy Hill Art House (La Hutte Royal) with Corey and Kara. Since that time, three additional houses were added to the mix so I added it to the list of THINGS HENRY AND I CAN DO INSTEAD OF SITTING AT HOME IN REPOSE list. The best part for Henry is that touring the art houses is free (music to his ears), you just have to schedule an appointment. We’re actually going to La Hutte Royal in two weeks with Shawn and Jess (it just reopened this month after being revamped and I’m excited to see the changes!) so I picked “Lighthouse Darkhouse” for just the two of us to explore on a random Thursday night in an effort to get out of the house.

I was so excited to log off work at 5:30! We went to Allegheny City Brewing for beer and light dinner from the La Palapa food truck. It was a really good start to the evening, especially when one of the bartenders tried to fake me out by asking, “What is that?” when I slid over my stupid beer passport and asked for a stamp. He immediately was like JK! when he saw that my face was probably contorting into “embarrassed school girl” right before his eyes BECAUSE IT DOESN’T TAKE MUCH TO MAKE ME FEEL STUPID. So  then we chatted about how many stamps I had collected so far and I told him about my faux pas that nearly put me on the SHE’S GOT A PROBLEM path when I thought I had to complete the book by the end of 2025.

“Yeah, these books don’t expire,” he said. Thanks, guy, I know this now. But that’s why I had to take an extended break from stamp-collecting!

I liked this one was called Hullaballoo because that’s been a favorite word of mine since the BATTLE OF THE NETWORK STARS days. It was OK.

This is blurry because I was trying to take pictures without looking weird, which just made me look weirder.

This place was nice – the people behind the bar were very friendly, there seemed to be some regulars sitting at the bar (one guy had his dog in his lap and that was precious), La Palapa was satisfying. It did get super crowded and loud pretty quickly after we arrived though, plus a band was setting up and they were supposed to start at 7. I really didn’t want to walk out during a band again like we did in Columbus, so I was like, “Yo, we gotta SPLIT before 7.” This just meant we still had nearly an hour to kill before our 8pm appointment in Troy Hill so Henry suggested going down the street to another brewery in my dumb passport.

Before I move on to that portion, I just wanted to mention that the last time I had La Palapa was when Chooch and I ate at their Southside location after I went to Kyklops to give my down payment on my Marcy tattoo. I always associate those two things now!

Henry and I both small pours at Late Addition –  mine was a Scottish thing and I really liked it! I think I’m figuring out that in addition to Belgian (real Belgian), I am leaning toward Irish and Scottish things. And some German. MAYBE I AM A TRADITIONALIST.

It was just us and the bartender, and one couple in a booth. Then an older woman came in, presumably a regular because she immediately started talking to the bartender like she knew him on a “you serve me beer regularly” level. The couple left, so then it was just us listening to this older broad tell the bartender the most mundane shit, like the chicken parm lasagna she made for her kids in college and how that made her the most popular mom that weekend. “This is the sauce I made,” she said, thrusting her phone in his face. I had to hand it to the guy, if he was actually disinterested, I certainly could not tell.

Oh! They were selling the Pgh Beer Week glass thingies that I had wanted to get at the time but was also too ambivalent about going out to a brewery in search of one. But the broad bought one which made me squint to get a better look and I hissed to Henry, “They have the glasses here! I’m going to pee, buy one for me.”

And when I came back, it was sitting in front of my seat – yay! I like getting things.

Then it was nearly time for our Troy Hill Art House appointment! We did have a few minutes to kill so we walked around a bit after parking in front of the house – Henry kept saying, “This can’t be it” because truly it just looks like a regular house that you’d see in a city neighborhood. We circled back around 7:55PM and Henry was like, “WHAT ARE WE WERE SUPPOSED TO DO?” Well looking at my appointment confirmation on my phone, I was saying that I thought when I went years ago with Corey and Kara, we just stood outside and waited for someone to come out, and just when I got to the part that said ATTENTION – DOCENT RULES: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO OPEN THE DOOR OR KNOCK and was reading it out loud, Henry went ahead and JIGGLED THE DOOR KNOB and then RANG THE DOORBELL.

“Why did you do that?” I cried.

“It didn’t say not to ring the doorbell,” Henry shrugged.

“IF IT SAID DON’T ATTEMPT TO OPEN THE DOOR OR KNOCK, YOU SHOULD ASSUME RINGING THE DOORBELL IS ALSO OFF THE TABLE!” I wheezing in embarrassment at this point. It was a Ring doorbell and rang kind of loudly – I was expecting a tinny voice to come through chastising us, but the silence was almost worse. Henry was like OH WELL and went back to sit in the car, leaving me alone to look like the culprit! Thank god Ring cameras don’t lie.

While Henry was cowering in the car, acting like he felt no shame for breaking the rules, a group of 4 college girls came barreling at me out of nowhere. It was actually alarming how they seemingly just appeared out of thin air–like, it was a super quiet street and then suddenly: the signature sounds of a group of giddy girls. BOOM. BANG. BRAY.

I stepped out of the way to let them pass and then realized that they were looking for the Lighthouse. Four different versions of “This can’t be it” all at once, surround sound.

“You’re at the right place,” I buttinsky’d. “We’re waiting too!” And there was a collective sigh of relief from their group. Then I proceeded to tell them about Henry ringing the doorbell and they were like, “OH MY GOD HEE HEE” but like, for real and not sarcastically so I loved them from this moment on.

(I’m obsessed with wanting college aged kids to think I’m cool, but like not the sorority types—the cool, grungy, mom jeans-wearing kinds. That’s what these girls were like!)

A tinny voice came out of the Ring camera letting us know that he’d be right there, and about a minute later, the docent approached us from the other end of the sidewalk. No one was in the house when Henry rang the doorbell! Thank god. I was nervous that another tour was in progress. After we signed waivers and the docent opened the door for us (and it wasn’t even the door that Henry was trying to open!!!), the first thing Henry said was, “IS THERE A BATHROOM?” Oh for god’s sake I wanted to kill him. There wasn’t a bathroom, but there is one in one of the other adjacent art houses so the docent had us go in and wait for him while he called whoever was still at that house to tell them NOT TO LOCK UP YET BECAUSE SOMEONE’S GRANDPA HAD TO COME BY AFTER THE LIGHTHOUSE TO PISS.

!!!!!!!

Goddammit, Henry.

I don’t have any pictures of the rest of the evening because the Troy Hill Art Houses really stress that no photos and videos are permitted. I definitely broke the law at La Hutte Royal because the docent wasn’t following us around BUT I only posted three of them to my blog because I feel like Kara made up a loophole that was like, “You can probably take pictures as long as they’re not being shared publicly” so I took that for scripture.

It was a quick 30 minute tour and without giving anything away (because everyone should go and experience this – IT’S FREE!), it was just so incredible to behold, legitimately. Two people came into a house that had burnt so badly in a fire that it had no structural integrity and built a freaking lighthouse in the middle of it. The docent said that lighthouse is the only thing holding the house together. And yes– you get to go inside of it, because the actual house is not really accessible. The top has an actual lighthouse bulb thingie in it, and it works. And it’s blinding.

Embarrassment aside, I was impressed that Henry was interested enough to ask the docent legit questions about the artifacts and whatever inside. I asked about a feather that was hanging from the ceiling, wondering of its significance but apparently the artists just added it for the whimsy of the shadow it produced, lol.

Very near-future me: “Hey Henry, here’s a box of a 1000 neon-dyed feathers for you to tack to the ceiling, chop chop.”

After the tour, the girls giggled their way home and the docent told us to hang tight while he locked up and I blurted out, “BY THE WAY, HE’S THE ONE THAT RANG THE DOORBELL IN CASE YOU COULD HEAR THAT EARLIER” and then I felt so CLEANSED and FREE of that burden I was carrying. The docent just laughed and waved it off. “Oh no worries! I actually have the app on my phone because I live right down the right, so I can monitor it from there,” he said, WHICH WAS BASICALLY SAYING THAT HE KNEW HENRY RANG THE DOORBELL. I wanted him to be angry about it so Henry would feel like shit but he really seemed like he didn’t care after all – UGH. If it was that guy from the Bayernhof, he’d have passive aggressively woven references to it into his script for the whole 2 hour tour.

“And here’s our REGINA CORONA 27″ AUTOMATIC CHANGER DISC MUSIC BOX, it knows not to ring the doorbell.”

Anyway, he let us PEEK IN THE DOORWAY (the one Henry tried to act like was entitled to enter when we first arrived!) to see some “behind the scenes” magic. It was a chaos-tangle of lamps and chandeliers; I don’t even know what we were looking at but I felt so privileged for that sneak peek! Then we walked around the corner to one of the other houses, where idiot Henry got to pee. In addition to being one of the art houses, it also doubles as their office space and the artists’ housing. There was the super cool art fixture in the background, a bunch of bugs in Jello molds. Even just that part of it was super cool so I’m excited for when we hit that house up in the (near) future.

In sum: the tour was splendid, the docent was informative and friendly while giving us our space to explore, and those girls were so adorable! It’s nuts to me that these artsy gems are in some random neighborhood of Pittsburgh, hidden in plain sight (they are all inside legit houses that don’t have any signs or neon lights beckoning stragglers in off the street), and they ARE FREE. It’s like stepping inside someone’s crazy altered reality for an hour and forgetting the actual crazy reality you left on the doorstep.

It was a really good Thursday night!

We were really flying by the seat of our pants with this one. When I first bought the concert tickets, I was excited because it was on a Saturday and thought, “Oh, we can turn it into a weekend trip!” but then as it got closer, I was like, “Or we can just get there early, spend the day hanging out, and then drive back after the show.” And then it was the day before and I was like, “Fuck it, let’s just leave at noon, eat dinner there, go to the show and come home.” I just hate leaving Penelope, even for a full day or overnight, ever since Drew died. It seriously is the worst and I feel so guilty, and now she’s going through this extreme picky phase with her food so I feel like I spend most of the day offering her different things, hand-feeding her treats, it’s a whole thing. (Yes, she’s being actively checked out by the vet and we have an appetite stimulant for her now too. All of her bloodwork came back fine, it’s just that she lost 2 pounds since her visit last year and as of the beginning of the year has decided that she doesn’t like dry food anymore and will only eat wet food but only certain kinds and then when she finds one she likes and we buy more, she doesn’t like it anymore. It’s been a whole thing and while she is eating, drinking water, peeing and pooping like normal, the vet put me in panic mode.)

Well, that was a lot to say that I didn’t feel very inspired to leave super early and I didn’t do my usual cafe and vegan food investigation like I normally would when we roadtrip. Sigh.

But! On a happy note, it all worked out anyway. We decided to just drive to the venue and find a place to park, because it’s street parking or GTFT (get the fuck towed) in this area. We got super lucky and found a spot RIGHT OUTSIDE of the venue. It was only 3PM, too early for dinner, but there was a place called Caca Cacao that I saw right around the corner so without consulting Yelp for any alternatives, that is where we went. And it was amazing! Good people, good vibes, good drinks. Sorry to keep using the word “good,” but that’s just how it made me feel DEEP IN MY SOUL.

We ended up just sitting at the bar after we ordered. I didn’t realize at first that there was an outside patio—it was chilly and raining off and on that day, but there was a covered portion that looked cozy so I suggested that we just take our drinks out there once we got them. But then! One of the baristas commented on my Ouija planchette bracelet which inspired a lengthy convo about divination and spirits. I felt like a fraud a little bit for wearing that in the name of fashion when I have really only used an Ouija board maybe…twice? (My friend Evonne had a spirit board though and we used that several times over the years which was always goosebump-inducing.) So, I felt obligated to tell the barista that my mom was into that stuff when she was younger, and how my grandma blamed her Ouija board usage on the fire that legit burned down the house while my grandma was in Florida.

It actually turned out to be an electrical fire caused by a record player that someone left on. No one was hurt and then the house was rebuilt into the 116 Gillcrest that was my refuge and sanctuary growing up (wow, two references to Gillcrest in back-to-back weekend recaps, it must be heavy on my subconscious).

I also told her about how ALLEGEDLY one time my mom was driving at night—this was also during her Ouija days—and said that it felt like something was yanking the steering wheel in the opposite direction and she either DID wreck or she ALMOST wrecked. I can’t remember now how the story went but I know I was scared when she told me, but not too scared that I didn’t actively try to summon Satan for a large swathe of time when I was in high school because I wanted to be taken, LOL I was such a living, breathing After School Special, it wasn’t even funny. (I was trying to think of when this would have been but it could have been anywhere between 10th and 12th grade, honestly, I was such a psychotic case study.)

Then we were talking about being from Pgh and she was telling us about her friend who is something of a famous busker there. “He wears a mushroom hat and raps,” she said, but the only person I could picture was Downtown Jesus and thank god that’s not who she was referring to. Anyway, he’s supposed to be performing at some Draft-related event happening here and then today, he came up in a video in Henry’s feed. “He’s the Guinness secord holder for longest freestyle rap,” Henry said, “50 hours!”

I got a Froot Loops matcha latte and it was delectable and also, we ended up just staying at the bar since it was such a friendly and safe space!

And thank god we stayed because when the other barista came over to get Henry’s payment, there was about 3 seconds of silence while he was struggling to tap his card, and suddenly she goes, “You have really great hair.”

To me!!

She said that TO ME!

You have no idea how annoyed and self-conscious I am about my hair in this shitty stage of life, and for someone to tell me that it’s GREAT?? I almost cried.

“Your tattoos and rings are really cool, too,” she continued. “You’re just cool in general!” she added. And then to Henry, “And you’re cool for being with her!”

I was like, “OK is there a camera somewhere? Is this real? Did my therapist set this up to give me a self-esteem boost so she can have one session with me where I’m not like, “I’m just an NPC. Wah.”

And then I felt tongue-tied because I wanted to return the compliments but everything that ran through my mind seemed like it would be weird to say, like, “I love the shape of your face!” which is what I was thinking before this even happened because she had that perfectly adorable heart-shaped face and a blunt chin-length cut that looked perfect on her. But when I say things nice things to other women, it always ends up coming off as either lowkey sexual harassment or borderline boundary-crossing because something happens to my words on their way down the chute from my brain to my mouth where it’s like, “Wait did I just sound like I was coming on to that person?”

Anyway…

Then Henry was looking at the menu again and asked her what kava is because there was a whole section for it. It turned into a whole thing, like an actual history lesson, and it was so informative and interesting! Basically, it’s a non-alcoholic liquid made from the root of some type of pepper-like plant or something that relaxes the body, and recovering alcoholics will actually drink it because it gives you the same sensation without putting actual alcohol in your body.

Then she gave us a free shot of it to try!

It tasted unlike ANYTHING I had ever tried before. Very…earthy and dirty. Muddy. Not the most pleasant thing but I was able to finish the shot without needing to dramatically spit it out or anything! And after awhile it leaves a slight numbing sensation on the tongue. Super intriguing, and there are actual drinks that they make with it there so maybe next time we visit, I will bit the bullet and try something fancy.

They also have kind of simple syrup made with a plant that I have never heard of and both baristas were trying to explain it to a man seated next to me. They finally settled on it having a slight “date” taste and then they let him try a spoonful of it and he agreed and said it was delicious so now I definitely have to go back and try a drink with that syrup too!

That place was just way too cool. And also very calming. As we were getting up to leave, I called out “goodbye!” down the bar to them, and the heart-face girl was all, “Have fun tonight, guys!” and it felt so nice, like we were regulars there instead of legit strangers passing through from Pittsburgh. I wish more places were like that. I always say that I hate small talk but I DIDN’T USED TO. I used to know someone everywhere I went back in the day, from gas stations, diners, pool halls…now the only people I “know” are the other daily walkers and joggers in Brookline who give me head nods and half-waves every time we pass each other.

What a great start to our short time in Columbus! After this, we walked to a place on High Street for a quick dinner, but I will save that for the next post because the Penguins are losing their second playoff game in a row and I am too stressed and angry to give this blog my full attention UGH.