We had the best weekend in Detroit seeing one of my absolute faves, Onew from SHINee. There is so much to unpack but I want to just say for now that our good friends Bill & Jessi (two more of my absolute faves!) made time to meet us for breakfast this morning before we headed back to Pittsburgh. We met at the Red Apple, a local joint that they first took us to probably the first time we visited them I think?! We’ve gone back several times with them since and it’s just a whole vibe – cozy and frozen in time, the perfect backdrop for breakfast and good convo.

I just love how we only see each other once a year but it always feels like we pick right back up. I told Henry on the way up yesterday that I couldn’t wait to tell them about Janna falling into the grave (look in my head it happened, ok??) because I knew they’d appreciate it AND THEY DID.

It was sad not having Chooch with us. His presence was missed big time. Bill & Jessi have always been THOSE family friends to him, you know? He has such a great relationship with them and I attribute a lot of who has grown into to the good quality friends of ours who have been there for him all these years, and Bill & Jessi are definitely that. And we’re all at that age now where we find ourselves openly marveling over how long we’ve been friends, every time we meet up! God bless, LiveJournal.

It’s not that I haven’t always appreciated my friends but you know how weird I have been lately! Every day feels like one big ‘ment’ anymore. (For you non-kpop fans, ments are when kpop artists talk during the concerts about how special the night is, etc. literally “sentiments.”) And I always feel like I’m in a safe space with them. I talked/cried about Drew and didn’t feel judged or that they were uncomfortable by my crying. I guess I didn’t realize how badly I needed to talk about it.

Anyway, enough blathering! It was just really the perfect end cap for a fantastic weekend and I am super full of gratitude. (I know, WHO AM I.)

Last Tuesday evening, Henry and I went to Crafthouse to see one of my old favorite bands, Cold. I was wavering on buying tickets for this because I knew it was going to be an emotional rollercoaster – it had been FIFTEEN YEARS almost exactly since I last saw them. Two mths before I started working at The Law Firm, actually! Sometimes it’s hard to believe that there were pre-Law Firm times in my life.

I finally sucked it up though and bought us tickets and I am so glad that I did. Yeah, it’s a drag to do these things on work nights at this age, but really it was so worth it.

I had to laugh though because as we were standing outside waiting for the doors to open, the people behind us were talking about health insurance. “The conversations happening in line now are wayyyyy different from when we used to go to see Cold back in the day,” I laughed and Henry did too but I don’t know why because he was old back then too??

Once we got inside and settled into a table, I started giggling which always makes Henry scared.

“I just realized that I didn’t change out of my NCT shoes,” I cracked up, raising my legs up and wiggling my feet. Henry groaned.

“AND I HAVE MY G-DRAGON LIGHTSTICK ON MY PURSE!” I pointed out. “And my Seventeen credit card!”

I had to get a picture of the full trifecta and Henry mumbled, “You’re so dumb.”

I am really leaning into the Empty Nester Lifestyle. I mean, not that this isn’t something we would have done with Chooch still in the house, because obviously we were still going to concerts back then too but it just feels…different somehow? Like, fresh? Like almost as though we ARE DATING? I dunno man, it’s weird.

Also, it felt kind of wild being around this certain demographic again. Cold is hard rock (actually they were even considered nu-metal adjacent there for a time) and I haven’t been in this scene in A LONG FUCKING TIME. I mean, this was my pre-Chooch life, really. This predated the Warped Tour and screamo and post-hardcore season of my life.

I have to say, on one hand I felt very comfortable and confident in this environment, it felt natural and familiar, I felt like my old out-going self. And it’s probably the only type of man that still CHECKS ME OUT, lol. I came back from the background and bragged to Henry about that. He just frowned.

But on the other hand, looking around at the majority of these people – especially the women – I am very thankful that I got out of this scene. I was always getting drunk back then off gross things like Smirnoff Ice and chain-smoking Camel Wides. I can only imagine how gross my voice would be today, how old I would look, how FUCKED my health would be in general. Hard Rock Erin was not it.

Literally, though, this one “rode hard & put away wet” woman came falling into the bathroom and Skeletor’d, “DO YINZ KNOW IF I CAN VAPE IN HERE??” Calm down, sis. Also, NO????

I took this to send to Chooch. He lowkey hates that his parents go out together I think, lol.

That guy’s face, though lol.

I just want to say that this was only our second time at Crafthouse and both times we had wonderful servers. I enjoyed my food a lot more this time – I went with the margherita flatbread and it was just right. Also, I Like Beer Now^TM and their selection is pretty good. Henry and I both had two different IPAs and both were good. Specifically, I had an Aslin Clear Nights and an Appalachian Brewing Co. Hop Offering. I don’t remember what Henry had because he refuses to update Untapped.

Good music aside, I just want to say that I really enjoyed this night so much. It was a tough decision to come out, but I’m glad I did and that Dumb Henry was with me. JUST LIKE OLD TIMES when it felt like we were seeing Cold several times a year for a while there. But be prepared for the show recap because it’s going to be so stupid-emo.

You guys! Chooch came home Thursday night and all feels right in the world (ok I’m gonna walk back on that one and just go with “in our house”).

First! During my lunch break on Friday, we walked to 802 Coffee where I, as per uje, ordered poorly and hated my latte but chooch’s was delightful (it was their dumb March leprechaun menu).

Then we stopped at the library specifically so he could say hi to Robert the Security Guard who always asks me how he is doing and just told me the other day that he keeps him I. His prayers. Get you a library security guard friend, you guys. Robert is such a gem and one of the few good things that came out of the pandemic because I only started talking to him during the very strict book pickups during the early part of COVID.

After work, Janna & Kara came over for pizza and to pepper Chooch with questions about college. So far, the first thing he tells everyone, including Robert, is that he has been playing Spikeball. (Shout out to Corey who got him this for Xmas and Chooch has said repeatedly that it’s one of the best presents he has ever got ok wow, RIP the memory of me presenting him with Hamilton tickets the first time it came to Pgh.)

It was a really chill night and also I liked this beer a lot even though I poured it wrong apparently.

Oh btw when Chooch came home Thursday night, he opened the fridge and yelled in disgust, “There is only beer in here!!!”

TO BE FAIR – we still have a lot of beer left from Chingumas. I put a moratorium on the weekend Duffy’s runs for build-your-own six packs because I was afraid of becoming an alcoholic. Now I will only drink in social situations like before. You heard it here first.

Smirking because approx. three of us asked him who he was texting and if it was this girl that I have latched on to because he let her name slip several times. They’re going to see The Weeknd with two or three other ppl and she bought all the tickets so I had to Venmo her money for him because I’m Mommy Dearest and also because concerts is the one thing I will never deprive him of.

(well, food and love too I guess lol.)

Anyway, it was such a wholesome night of reminiscing about psychos I attracted during the LJ years, game nights of yesteryear, and when Chooch was a baby with a giant head. It was the perfect start to the weekend!

This post is going to be all over the place because I have been in a creative/chaotic frame of mind the last couple of days which hasn’t happened in a long time but I was inspired to come out of retirement and make something sort of art-y for a gift, so I am currently riding the adrenaline on that one. It’s a good feeling but also, sheesh, settle down, child.

I had a really nice weekend, I’m so happy to say! Henry and I spent a lot of time talking about G-Dragon, speculating when he will come to the US on his tour (rumor has it – September), if BIGBANG will officially reunite, etc. This is nothing new, everyone knows Henry is a freaking hero, etc., but I am so glad that we have this common interest and it’s not just me making his ears bleed with all of my incessant Jonny Craig gushing like back in the day. Whoever would have thought that it would be Korea of all things that came forth as the glue to keep us together? I love this so much, every time I think about it! Here’s Henry with his bias list and constant Instagram reel sending. SOMETIMES HE EVEN SCOOPS ME ON KOREAN NEWS!!

Anyway, that’s my little love note to Henry, feeling mushy because my phone calendar alerted me that our “Dumb Anniversary” is next week.

Well, here’s some things from the weekend that I’d like to remember, because who knows – maybe one day in the future life will be worse than it is now and I will look back on this season and scoff about how naive I was.

I love when “Abbott Elementary” has Drexel Easter eggs in it! This one particular episode even had scenes that were filmed in one of the buildings that we visited on Admitted Students day. It’s just exciting to me, OK?? I had literally never heard of Drexel before Chooch was like, “Oh yeah btw I got into Drexel” and I was like, “Huh? Where even is that??” I just…don’t know stuff about colleges, OK? I’m a high school drop out, after all.

Saturday was so nice. Henry and I went to Pink Box for some later afternoon snacks and then walked it off for an hour in Homewood Cem while literally (literally!!) spending the ENTIRE TIME ranting about that piece of shit Elon and his VP Trump. My friend Nate and I are going to protest at a Tesla dealership and I know Henry is nervous about this because I have been on this kick lately about wanting to get arrested at a protest.

Even Chooch was like, “That is the LAST place you need to be.”

EXACTLY!!

On Sunday, I met Lauren, Sandy, and Nate at The Abbey for brunch. It was SUCH A GOOD TIME. First of all, I somehow had not seen neither Sandy nor Nate since the last brunch I went to with them LAST MARCH.  How is that even possible?!?

Anyway, what a great fucking time, I’m not even kidding. I miss seeing these guys every day at work. And the best part is that we didn’t even really talk about work at all!

Our waiter this time as opposed to when I was there a few weeks ago was so wonderful and charming without being aggressive and there were times when I almost slipped and asked if he wanted to join us, lol. He vibed with us so well. And when Sandy asked for separate checks, he didn’t react in a way that came off as him pegging her as tacky, WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED TO ME THE LAST TIME AND I FUCKING DWELLED ON IT FOR THE ENTIRE WEEKEND AND MAY HAVE EVEN TALKED ABOUT IT IN  THERAPY.

I dunno man, the stars were just well-aligned this time around.

My vegan pancakes – so good but I could only chip away at half of that biggun’ stack!

After brunch, we walked down the street to get some French delights from La Gourmandine to take home. It pains me to say this but I thought of someone other than myself for once and chose something specifically for Henry. Ugh. Some chocolate almond thing. I guess he deserved it because he was at home working on G-Dragon pins haha.

On my drive home (the Abbey has a parking lot now so I can drive there on my own without stressing about street parking which is 100% the reason I will usually make Henry drive me – I HATE driving around looking for a spot and then when I find one, I’m scared that my car will get sideswiped) it started POURING down rain. Like, torrentially. Then it stopped after I came home and I was on the front porch trying to get three of my Buddys to share walnuts when another storm came in out of nowhere (well, a meteorologist will likely have something to say about that) – this crazy-ass sideways rain, the street in front of my house began  to flood, and all the squirrels peaced out. Henry and I were watching this from the front door when suddenly there was a loud bang coming from the back of the house.

Oh, just a very substantial part of a tree breaking off and falling onto the roof of the backporch.

LOL ignore all the refuse back there. Our neighbors like to dump large trash items back there, like air conditioners, those pipe things, there’s also a Big Wheel type kids car that has been there for so long, I can’t believe it hasn’t sunk into the earth by now. But yeah, now this huge ass tree branch is in pieces on our porch roof, backyard, and driveway.

Oh well.

No damage was done to not-our house, so whatev.

Yeah, I really don’t think there was anything else to note. I was so drowsy the rest of the day, those fucking pancakes. This is why I usually always opt for savory breakfast fare but they were called ROSE WINDOW PANCAKES and came with nut butter, I’m such a sucker. They were so good but even Henry was like, “Jesus, this is a LOT of pancake” when I gave him my leftovers.

In non-weekend news: Chooch comes home for spring break tomorrow so hopefully I will have some blog fodder during his visit since my life is otherwise so empty these days lol.

Back at the start of the pandemic, I had somehow come across retrowave playlists on YouTube. Actually, I’m pretty sure the algorithm did its thang and my obsessive listening to the Black Queen organically planted me in the lap of this beautiful synth movement. I tend to not listen to Kpop while I’m working because it distracts me (I will start to try and translate what I’m hearing and then I need to stop what I’m doing to check if I’m correct, or I want to get up and jump around, or I will start daydreaming about Korea, etc etc etc) but there is something magical about retrowave because it’s soothing, nostalgic and it puts me in the right zone for working.

HOWEVER.

I accidentally began to associate this with Drew. I guess it’s natural since she was always with me while I was working, and I’d say things to her like, “OMG IT’S OUR JAM!” and try to make her dance lol.

Some of this stuff hits on a very emotional level to begin with – it itches the nostalgic side of my brain, you know? But, after she died, all of it became like that to me and I have not been able to listen to any of it since then. Which is sad because this was my happy place during the work week. Now, I’ve been struggling to find something else. Norwegian pop. Russian pop. Afrobeats. Romanian Club Hits.

But nothing hits like retrowave.

Then a few months ago, I saw that Ollie Wride was coming to PITTSBURGH on his US tour. Ollie Wride is one of the PRESTIGE singers in this genre. His voice sounds like he’s soundtracked the 80s high school coming-of-age movie from your dreams. He did a song with FM 84 several years ago and that song is basically at the top of the retrowave leaderboard of my heart. Probably the one I have listened to the most, and the first time that I really stopped and started looking more into these singers and bands. I found a version that was recording for a livestream during COVID and at that moment, I swore that I had to see Ollie Wride live if ever presented with the opportunity:

Please watch this and tell me it doesn’t plant you firmly into a pair of Jellies during the spring of 1987.

When I hear this song now though, I imagine Drew here with me, sitting on my work laptop because she liked the warmth. I am so broken over this, just the most pathetic sad sack.

Anyway, my likeminded retrowave friends Shawn and Jess were down to join us at this show so I felt good about it, like this could be a healthy step in the healing process. It’s either face it head-on or keep sitting here crying alone like a fucking maniac.

Shawn and I were dying because the show was held at the Crafthouse, which is a small venue across the street from a bar we used to be regulars at back in the early 00s, plus we were best concert buds back then too so this was such a fun “reliving our youth” moment.

And so, on Sunday evening, Henry and I arrived at the Crafthouse a bit before doors opened because we wanted to secure a good table. However, due to technical issues, the doors were delayed by about 45 minutes. We stood outside with a handful of other early birds and chatted about retrowave, darkwave and then bands I didn’t care about and then A LOT of stuff about the college where three of the people work and that stuff bored me so I lulled off into a happy place in my head – j/k the place in my head was where I retreat so that I can scream into a psychic pillow and start thinking about all the ways my life is being inconvenienced by things not starting on time. This is…who I am, you guys. I am working on it, and will probably talk about it tomorrow in therapy lol.

I do want to put out these things for remembering though:

• one of the guys mentioned Kraftwerk so I RAISED MY HAND and said, “My doorbell plays a Kraftwerk song.” Henry said later, “Yeah, I knew that was coming.”
• someone mentioned king gizzard and the lizard wizard and Henry and I chuckled to ourselves because Chooch likes that band too.
• I got to give The Black Queen a much-deserved promotion and was actually surprised that these guys hadn’t heard of them and simultaneously shocked that I wasn’t mansplained or talked over. The one guy even showed me his phone later and said, “Is this them? Cool, I’m adding them now – thanks!”

Anyway, we finally got to go inside around 6:20. We were in the third group that went in but there were VIPs who were already inside so all the good tables were taken. Then I was like, “NOPE” when we chose a table and a group with A BABY sat down at the next one. I just didn’t want to sit next to a baby, maybe I’M A MONSTER. So, we switched tables and it was much better.

I was excited to drink IPAs, who am I.

We were the coolest table in the house, except for maybe the one table that had a guy wearing a fitted leather jacket with SYNTH RIDER spelled out in studs on the back. I told Henry to get out the Bedazzler and do that to my pleather jacket.

I dunno what to say about my dumb pose other than I had two beers at this point and that is so many beers for me.

Henry went to the bathroom at one point and when he came back, I said I had to go too and asked him where it was. He told me and then said, “And say hello to your friend Bethany on the way there. She’s leaning against the wall.”

“Bethany??” I asked.

“Yeah, she said to me ‘your Erin’s husband Henry, aren’t you?’ and said she recognized me from Instagram.” That’s Henry’s most favorite thing to hear, btw. “Erin’s Instagram.” “Erin’s blog.” LOL.

Anyway, it was my friend Bethany from Balloon Ride Fantasy! I haven’t seen her since pre-pandemic when we met up for Korean food at Nakwon Garden (she used to live in Korea years ago as an English teacher!). She was there for the second opener, Vacances and came over to sit with us for a bit before Ollie Wride and it was so nice to catch up with her!

Speaking of openers, I’m not used to this because kpop concerts don’t have openers and it’s actually…nice lol. But that night, there were two and the other was Caleb Kopta. It was OK. I made eye contact with him a few times and tried to brag that we imprinted.  Henry was like, “That’s nice.” I did really like Vacances though and would be up to see them again since they’re local!

And then it was time for OLLIE WRIDE. “Sorry, Henry,” I said as I bolted for the floor by the stage. Jess quickly joined me and it was so nice to have a friend at a show with me! (Sorry again, Henry lol.)

I just want to say that Ollie Wride’s live vocals are immaculate. The high notes were done HIT, y’all. Sheesh. And the energy he brought onto that stage with him.

This jacket didn’t stay on long!

These pictures are so awkward because I was snapping them while recording but what can you do?! It was also amazing to be AT THE FRONT OF THE STAGE like in my other lifetime of going to shows. I’m always like, “no it’s fine, I don’t mind being back far” but then the show starts and I’m like SEE YA and I run to the front. It’s the FOMO in me, I’m a true Leo. And also not cool enough to just casually slink against a wall in the back and watch while texting. I can’t pull off that amount of effortlessly cool.

I don’t have the set list but I can tell you that he performed Back To Life and that was the first time during the night when I thought to myself, “Am I going to be OK? I’m OK…right?” I mean, I was screaming along and doing when Henry called my “happy sort of dance thing” because apparently, he was spying on me from the table like a creeper. And I can tell you for certain that I was very happy that night. Henry wasn’t being dumb, we had good beer, I was with two of my amazing friends, saw another friend….talked to strangers, even! If I can only make this a habit, maybe I’d feel less lonely on every other day.

Earlier in the night, I had made an offhanded remark about how I’m not outgoing and Jess stopped me.

“Yes, you are,” she said firmly.

“No, I’m not really,” I said, face scrunched.

“You are definitely outgoing, come on!” she argued. And you know what? I am fucking outgoing. I just let situations and people stifle me and I think it’s because I’m just too tired to fight it. But Jess is right, at my core, I am an extrovert and I am going to work on making that dominant trait again. (I’m also very obnoxious too which goes hand-in-hand with me being an extrovert so toning that down is a bridge I’ll cross when I get to it I guess.)

OK, the last song was, of course, Running In the Night which is when I did fully break. This fucking song.

I would have paid so much more just to hear this one song. But the entire night was so sublime. He performed Victoria too! And his band was incredible to watch, too. This night. Man.

We rejoined Henry at our table afterward. Most of the crowd had cleared out but we stayed and chatted some more, no one in any hurry to leave.

“Hey, there’s Ollie!” Shawn pointed over my shoulder, where Ollie was one table away with a tiny group of people. “He’s signing stuff! Go ask him to sign your record!” he urged. I didn’t even hesitate. I grabbed my record, purchased as soon as we arrived because I do not wait for merch, and waited my turn.

“What’s your name?” Ollie asked me when it was my turn.

“Erin,” I said, and then, “Can I tell you something weird?”

“Sure!” he said as he was signing my record.

“I associate your music with my cat,” I started, to which he said, “Oh, I have animals, too.”

“She died.”

He stopped signing.

“And tonight was really healing for me. Thank you,” I said as I was on the verge of tears all over again.

And he fucking hugged me.

“You got an Ollie Wride hug!” Shawn squealed (lol) when I came back to the table! And apparently, I hadn’t stopped recording after the last song, so there is a 20 minute long video of the ceiling of the Crafthouse with us chatting post-show. Sadly, I was a bit out of range for my phone to pick up my convo with Ollie but you can hear a hushed, “Aw!” from my table when he hugged me.

Unfortunately, you can also hear how fucking annoying I am talking about kpop scandals for 10 minutes straight but whatever – I’ll be keeping that ceiling rafter video for posterity!

I know everyone is so sick of hearing my cry and lament about my dead cat but I am really trying here. Tonight was a big step for me. I feel so emotional but in a good way because not only did I get to spend time with good friends, but I got to catch up with Bethany and also experience the fantastic Ollie Wride as the cherry on top. I’m really glad I didn’t pass this up. When I saw ten tour announcement last summer, I was scared because of what retro wave has become to me, but – safety in numbers. And I needed to rip the Band-Aid off so I can eventually go back to enjoying this amazing genre of music that used to be such a comfort to me.

And then maybe this can happen:

OK BYE I’M CRYING LOL.

My sister Amy and I have been staying vigilant with getting together more often over the last year or so and I am honestly loving it. I can’t remember if I ever really talked about it much on here but Amy didn’t come into my life until I was about 30, I think? She is my older sister and our mom was forced to put her up for adoption by our grandma. Anyway, despite having completely different upbringings, we keep discovering more and more uncanny similarities that make Henry actually guffaw (literally, it’s an inspired guffaw!) and Amy’s husband Dick frown in disappointment. Everything from us being brats about the dinners they make us to our refusal to put away our clothes that THEY have laundered for us. It’s just too good.

Anyway, Amy is also one of the catalysts behind my recent beer awakening. She and Dick enjoy going to breweries and yeah, I know I can go and either not drink or get a seltzer or a cider if available, but I wanted to hang with the big dogs, you know? So, every time, I would get a flight and end up saying, “That was OK but I never want to drink it again.” LOL. But now I can not only drink BUT ALSO ENJOY pretty much all types of beers except for stouts and porters! I’m also kind of a snob about it, but this should not come as a surprise to anyone.

We met up at Voodoo Brewing in Houston (PA, not TX!) and I was so stoked because my options have greatly expanded since I last went to a brewery. The girl working did not like me one bit. First of all, Henry and I were THE ONLY PEOPLE THERE so it’s not like it’s super chaotic and she was trying to serve 100 people like some glorified German bar maid. She just stood there and watched us as we looked at the options, never once asking if we needed help, offering suggestions, or I DON’T KNOW POINTING OUT THAT THERE WERE SEPARATE MENUS which I didn’t  know and only selected from the seasonal list which meant that I had just 3 from Voodoo and the other 3 from rando’ breweries and then when I was like, “Wait, what are those behind you?” and she monotoned that they were the ones that are always on tap, I asked, “Oh no, is it too late to change my picks?”

She said no, but she said it with an air of exasperation and annoyance. I said, “I’m sorry, did I screw this up?”

“No,” she said with a clipped edge. “This is just my last sheet of paper, that’s all.”

OK? AND? Use a napkin to write down Henry’s?? Also, why was that the last paper for flights when it was only 2:30pm?? That sounds like a Voodoo supply management problem not a me problem.

So far, we have established that I of course love my Belgians (the tripel-ier the better), IPAs (but not all – it takes a lot to WOW me though I do really have a taste for that stringent grapefruit rind essence), and THIS JUST IN, I have a crush on red ales now too.

I don’t like how Henry is leering at my beers.

LOLOLOL I posted this on Instagram too. I was only taking it for UnTapped purposes but this deserved to be enjoyed by all.

DON’T POINT AT ME.

My OG BESTIE CAT Marcy hated being pointed at. This just reminded me of that. She would growl and lunge at jutting phalanges and she was paws out / claws out all of the time, in case you were wondering. The only one she never maimed was Chooch and I still don’t know why because I don’t think she actually cared for him.

Amy and Dick are big football people and we are definitely not but we still always have so much to chat about and this is why I love hanging with them. I LOVE TO TALK. Amy and I were in tears at one point when Dick and Henry were comparing notes on us and I thought to myself, in that moment, “THIS is what I needed.” Real connection.

According to my Untapped app, the winners of the day for me were:

• Don’t Leave Me Edith – IPA
• Wynona’s Big Brown Ale – Brown Ale (this was Henry’s and I only had a sip which made me immediately regret not including it in my flight selection)
• Voodoo Love Child – Belgian Tripel
• White Magick of the Sun – Witbier

Next! We walked next door to Helltown Brewing and even though it was less trendy/flashy/artsy, the vibes were immaculate from the start. First off, it was way cozier and packed with friendly people – two of whom were Dick’s niece and her husband! We sat with them and they were wonderful, super down to earth and easy to chat with so I felt very human, like my old self.

Henry and I went to a haunted house last fall and Helltown actually had a little stand set up. I was like LET’S GET A BEER LIKE ADULTS, WE ARE EMPTY NESTERS and he immediately said, “YOU WILL NOT LIKE A SINGLE ONE OF THEIR OFFERINGS, WOMAN OF MINE” and I was like, “OK hold my future beer and let me be the judge of that.”

Jackass.

I got the Oktoberfest only because at that time, I was certain I wouldn’t like anything else (it was a small sampling of what they have – an IPA-heavy lineup). Anyway, we got one can to share and I liked it so much that I ended up drinking most of it.

So, I was pretty excited to come here and try some more! They actually have waaaay more of a selection than I thought.

Dick’s niece recommended the Mischievous Brown Ale to me and it was one of my favorites of the whole day.

I also really liked:

• Willow Hazy IPA
• Belgian Wit
• Red Eye Red Ale (WHO AM I)

LOL so…my whole flight basically.

But then Amy got a second flight for us to share and of that one, we got my favorite of the whole day – the Headless Wylie pumpkin/yam beer. FINALLY, a pumpkin beer that tasted like pumpkins to me! I was so impressed. And I also really liked Idle Hands – IPA. The other two were a lager and blonde / golden ale which were mid but drinkable. I for sure know what I like now though!

I made this face on purpose and Henry was annoyed.

I was hammered. Henry said I had the equivalent of 2 full beers, maybe 2.5 LOL.

HAHAHAHA.

I took this picture on purpose because Amy made Dick start talking to that guy down there about some football player and then he ended up being really cool and reminded me of my brother Ryan brother (Henry immediately co-signed when I mentioned this on the way home).

Stil fully daylight and I was practically sliding off my stool.

And then we made not-Ryan take our picture because it’s tradition.

I am so happy that this happened and can’t wait for next month!

(Normal people go out and it’s not some big PRAISE BE, SO GRATEFUL event but I am truly half dead inside because every iota of human contact I get is like, news alert, Erin made a connection with a person and now an ordinary trip to a brewery just became some major OMG U GUYS tale for the blog. I fucking hate myself lol.)

CHINGUS up here in the JIP

• Corey
• Amy & Dick
• Kara
• Janna
• Glenn & Amanda
• Chris & Monica
• Jill & Jack
• Wendi, Ben & BABY ROONEY
• Wendy
• Zakk
• Amber & Steve
• Lori
• Margie
• Cara
• Lauren
• Sean!

OK I’m going to be a sentimental bitchbaby here, probably for the duration of the whole post. I have looked at these pictures so m any times and felt so happy for truly one of the only times in the past year. The power of friends, you guys. They made me feel less alone in dark times just by sending simple texts (and also being a kitten scout – Kara!), but having them filling my house with laughter was THE TRUE MEANING OF CHINGUMAS. And even better is that I was able to hassle some of them into downloading the Party! camera app so that we could all see each other’s pictures the next morning and it was so fucking fun! It makes me want to have a fake wedding now so that we can use it on a grander scale, lol. Almost all of the photos in this post are from that app which is how I’m actually in pictures from my own party for once!

This wasn’t taken with the app, but here I am with my sibs Corey and Amy! Amy was super excited to sample all of the Korean beer and makgeolli!

Succulents from Jill <3

LOL tteokbokki smudge on my GD goblet. (I WAS DRINKING CASS AND I LIKED IT! Henry had it a few times in Korea and I had a sip once and said, “Wow, that’s actually not bad for beer” but now that I am a real beer drinker – haha – I appreciate it more.)

Actually, I don’t believe that anyone had any soju! Unless they weren’t using the shot glasses, I dunno!

Rooney was a fan of my clown town house :)

A lot of the pictures turned out this way because I was running into rooms, snapping and retreating. Also, some people (WENDY) didn’t know how to turn the flash off so some of these are a real treat and I was cry-laughing while looking through them!

Even Margie used it!!!

Zakk is Chooch’s Janna. He drags him over here every year for my holiday parties and Zakk is probably like, “Jesus Christ when can I go home?” Also, Chooch went to the store for me that day because I needed, well, everything and also I told him to get get a non-alcoholic holiday punch like the kind that Corey was pushing on him from Trader Joe’s on Xmas Eve. But Chooch couldn’t find anything pre-made at Walmart so he googled and found a “Jingle Bell Punch” recipe and subsequently came home with OJ, apple juice, cranberry juice and then had to go back out for Ginger ale. Also, I was going to go to CVS to get some bags of hopefully marked-down Christmas candy but Chooch said he would handle that too and came home with two big $15 bags of Kisses and Miniatures that weren’t IN HOLIDAY WRAPPERS. $30 for two bags of candy!!

But he did get Dolly Parton holiday plates, so that was something.

Cara stood with her purse on for a long time and I was afraid that meant she was going to leave early but she was one of the last to leave, phew. (She did eventually sit down next to Margie.)

SEAN CAME!! And he wore his BLAME HENRY pin from yesteryear. I saw him walk in and screamed from the back porch because I haven’t seen him since my last pre-covid Xmas party in 2019 when I didn’t want to have a party but Wendy made me. “Just have a small one. Invite Sean,” she said. Wendy is always strong-arming me into these things!

We must have been having a serious conversation. Also, Chris (& Monica!) always has the best hair.

Chooch was getting pelted with college questions all night long and learned that Lauren’s sister also went to Drexel!

Did I mention yet that we have a new doorbell that Henry made for me and I was getting so militant about people ringing the doorbell upon entry that if they failed to do so, I would shout at them to go back outside and try again?? Looking back, I feel like I yell at my guests at every party which begs the question: WHY DO MY FRIENDS KEEP COMING BACK? I’m such a party asshole!

Anyway, Margie in particular was like, “I didn’t see a doorbell! Where is it??”

“WHERE DOORBELLS ARE, MARGIE!” I cried. “IT IS LITERALLY LIT UP!”

All of this chaos over a lunatic doorbell.

Eventually, I wasn’t in the living room anymore and Kara took over as doorbell marshal. Between this and years of taking charge with reading the directions at game night, Kara is basically my second in command! Next year, I’m going to have special vest for herto wear, a la elementary school hall monitors, for when she’s on doorbell duty!

That’s Jill behind Amanda – I didn’t get any good photos of her, ugh! This was also her first time at my house and she is still chatting with me on Teams so I guess I didn’t completely scare her away. Meanwhile, Rooney and Jack played on the back porch and were both little delights. Chingumas is all ages, you guys!

The alcohol is NOT all ages though, lol.

This Party! camera is so weird – some pictures came out lovely and others look like I charged up my 2007 Blackberry for the night.

This was 100% when I was making Chris and Monica join the Party! camera. Monica started to do it and then said to Chris, “I’ll just let you handle this.” LOL.

I DON’T BELIEVE JANNA ASKED PERMISSION TO LAUGH.

Thoughtful trifle dissecting.

These pictures are definitely out of order.

Blurry but keeping! Lauren brought me a hostess gift from the Olive Tap – Sorrento lemon olive oil, which Henry quickly claimed was actually a gift for him and has been obsessing over it ever since. “No one ever brings me a gift!” he cried happily and when I reminded him that she gave it to me, he brushed me off and said, “Yeah, but she knows that I am the one who will be using it!”

He was even googling uses for it the other night and it was so annoying.

Old school work reunion!

Also, I love that we’re able to utilize the back porch and kitchen now because party guests can spread out – I remember our Xmas party in 2016 was one of the only times when every single person I ininvited actually showed up and, being contained to just the living room and dining room, it was such a fire hazard probably.

This was when I made Janna go back upstairs and come back so I could get a picture lol.

YES! Inkigayo sandwiches and a Kloud! Wendy was doing it right.

Everyone was reading the old “Book of Henry” that Chooch and I made, ugh, probably 10+ years ago!? I was so happy that it was getting read after all these years, and it was fun to retell old Henry stories, lol.

I can’t believe Monica agreed to hold a baby!

Amber and Lauren were work-gossiping which is the worst thing to when I’m within ear shot because I kept whipping around and saying things like, “WHO?” “WHEN?”

Anyway, Amber and her husband Steve came here straight from Steve’s work party which was a formal event. I was on the back porch when I saw them walk in and had NO IDEA who they were.

This looks like secrets are being spilled.

I truly can’t believe they sat through this all night.

LOL Corey took this picture of SERVICE ERA HENRY on the fridge.

They were playing some game, I don’t even know.

I dunno who brought these, but they were so good!

Corey’s sloppy plate. (I am sincerely so happy with how the trifle came out!)

OMG MORE SECRETS.

Is someone telling ME a secret now!?

Corey sat in that wheelchair for a long time.

LOL Margie took this of Janna.

I don’t even care about my massive double chin here – I was so giddy when Margie took this so it’s staying! This was when I was trying to help Amber download the Party! camera and she wanted a selfie with me to use as her profile picture and it took eleventy thousand tries.

Chronica foot selfie.

I know exactly what I’m doing here! I’m saying JANNA YOU IDIOT THE BOTTLE OPENER IS RIGHT THERE.

All of these adults orbiting the two teenagers all night, beer in hand.

My favorite thing about my parties is that all my friends from different circles end up talking to each other.

Wendy could NOT get her flash turned off!

LOL Lauren.

Me being an Inkigayo Sandwich server.

…and probably also me being an Inkigayo Sandwich defender!

Corey loves to get me going with old Janna stories and I was seriously almost peeing my pants telling the back porch crew about her Robitussin scandal, the time I made cupcakes for game night and made a “special” one for her, and the infamous Poopy Birthday Cake we made for her as a surprise many moons ago. This was me showing off the picture of it, which inspired questions like, “Why is there a Santa spitting out poop?” WHY INDEED.

This picture sums it all up!

Meanwhile, Kara pointed out that all of these years everyone has been like, “Oh poor Henry.”

“But what about Janna?” Kara asked.

“Justice for Janna!” Amanda said, and I almost peed my pants again.

I love this picture so much.

<3

Lori! I walked through the kitchen at one point while Henry was asking her questions about her house and I took that opportunity to offer up Henry’s handyman services, then kept going about my business.

Everyone but Janna and Corey had left by midnight so this was the after-party. It felt so good to lay back on this chair and relax. This was also the FIRST AND ONLY picture Chooch took using the Party! camera the whole night, because he had JUST DOWNLOADED IT right then. So annoying.

I did have a panic attack that night when I was trying to go to sleep which was weird because I did not feel one iota of stress the entire night. Maybe it was just social overload. Maybe that means I shouldn’t wait until the end of the year to hang out with all of my friends in one go??

I also felt that this year’s was a lot better than last year’s. I missed the people from last year who couldn’t attend this time, but I just felt so much calmer overall and when I think back to last year’s, I feel like I didn’t talk to anyone. This year, I had some good chats with pretty much everyone and it just felt really good. It was a good way to end a not so great year – with the reminder that if you have good friends in your life, things can’t be all that bad.

CHINGUMAS! CHINGUMAS!

For this year’s Chingumas, I thought it would be cute to make party favors so I bought some cute gift bags, filled them with thoughtful Korean treats, Ediya instant coffee sticks (Ediya is a really popular cafe chain in Korea, and forget what you think you know about instant coffee because Korean instant coffee is actually really good! I used to keep a box in my desk at work because whatever coffee we were provided with the coffee machine on each floor was…not good.). I spent weeks procuring the contents, and then a few more weeks convincing Henry to pose for pictures that we could turn into pocas  (photo cards) to also include.

LOL.

Henry also made little pots of vegan kimchi (original and cucumber-style) and I made labels for them because it’s the least I can do when a project involves food.

One of my favorite Korean treats is patbingsu, which is made of the softest, snowiest shaved ice, and flavored with pat (sweet red bean paste which is a staple in Asian desserts and one of my favorite flavors ever) and injeolmi – soft rice cakes covered in sweet soy bean powder which has a lightly sweet and nutty flavor. I had the great idea of taking that and making it into a trifle. Henry replaced the shaved ice with a sweet cream similar to that found in Korean bbang (bread/buns), the bottom layer was made of Choco Pie, a middle layer was crumbled matcha Choco Pie since matcha is also a very popular bingsu flavor, and then of course the pat layer. We topped it with just injeolmi and not more pat because people are weirded out by sweet red beans! It’s crazy to me how many people were like “nope, that’s disgusting” when I got to the red bean part of the ingredient explanation and am grateful to Kara who backed me up on the delicious “don’t knock it till you try it” virtues of pat.

This is patbingsu in its original form ^^^

And this is our trifle version of it:

We always included a small carafe of condensed milk to drizzle over each serving, a la the true Korean-style.

In full disclosure, Henry and I 100% were winging it. He did a trial run of the injeolmi a week before, but we left the rest up to fate and I am happy to say that it turned out better than I could have imagined! All of the flavors worked well. The Choco Pie soaked up some of the cream so it was moist and provided just the right amount of texture. Sorry to those who were too wimpy to try it because OMG beans. Ya gotta have at least SOME sense of adventure & willingness to try new things if you come to a party celebrating Asian culture!

The next contentious item was the mini Inkigayo sandwiches we made.

These sandwiches are very beloved in our family. The short version is that they used to be served in the cafeteria of the TV station that airs the weekly Inkigayo music show. Inkigayo means “popular song” and the show is sort of like TRL, to give it American context. These sandwiches were super popular with idols and there is even some lore behind them that idols were using them to covertly give out their phone numbers to other idols since everything has to be done secret because of dating bans in their contracts.

When fans found out about this, it made them want to try the sandwiches but they were not available to the public. Various convenience stores started making their own versions of the “idol sandwich” and we ate the fuck out of them the first two times we were in Korea. I heard that the cafeteria no longer makes them, possibly because the creator of the recipe no longer works there? Anyway, we loved them so much that Henry found a recipe and started making them for us to eat on Easter – Eastergayo sandwiches, lol.

I made these cutie foodpick flags from screenshots of actual Inkigayo footage.

The OG recipe has imitation crab meat, so Henry made some like that too and put it on a separate plate with different food picks in them to differentiate. I think everyone who tried one liked it but there were still a bunch of people were like BIG NOPE.

And to that I say BIG SHRUG.

(Although there was someone who said they just genuinely don’t like egg salad I think so I will let that one slide!)

My black sesame shortbread cookies! I loved how these turned out – they had the nostalgic texture of a Keebler Sandies, sort of?? And they weren’t too sweet which I really appreciated. Also, I say “my” cookies because it was idea to make them but all I did was order the cookie cutter and send Henry the recipe LOL.

KIMBAP FOR DAYS. We put vegan bulgogi and smoked tofu in some of them. I told Henry he had to make extra this year because last year we ran out very early into the party, and of course our biggest kimbap fans didn’t come this time so we had so much left. I wasn’t complaining though because I could live on kimbap so I ate very well for the next few days!

The one thing, my actual favorite thing, that I failed to photograph was the crockpot chockful of tteokbokki that we left on the kitchen counter. I love tteokbokki and would happily eat it every day if I wasn’t so hyper-conscious of my waistline. It is always the first thing I eat when we get to Korea! There is nothing in the world like a paper cup of tteokbokki served straight from a street food cart by an ahjumma. It is my favorite comfort food right up there with grilled cheese and now I’m wondering why I have never combined the two?!?! Tteokbooki halves inside of a grilled cheese?!?!

SHOULD THIS BE NEXT YEAR’S CHINGUMAS FINGER SANDWICH!?

FFEOK ME UP, TTEOK.

^^^ Actual footage of tteokbokki that we ate in Namdaemun Market on our wedding day! <3

Ugh, I love so many things about Korea and just want to spend the rest of my life sharing that with my friends no matter how hard they resist.

Here’s the box of treat bags and kimchi that sat there ALL NIGHT until I locked the door after the last person left at 1:30am and noticed it. I hadn’t given out the favors to a single fucking party person the entire night. Literally screamed, “MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRRR!!!” and then could barely sleep that night. Luckily, with the help of Chooch, a/k/a Mr. Always Looking for a Reason to Take the Car, I have successfully delivered these to most everyone at this point.

I’m excited for the next post, which is just a collection of pictures of my friends Chingu’ing it up with other. We really put so much effort into these parties, even crossing state lines (3x!) to round up Korean beer, and it means so much to me when people show up for this. Even when I yell at them for not ringing the doorbell and make them go outside and try again, or scold people for calling kimbap “sushi”* – I know I get a “little” out of control but it’s just in my nature! And if I’m having a Korean-themed party, it’s only right that I commit to the cause! I think everyone is used to it. “We’re going to Erin’s to get yelled at and have curious foods shoved in our faces. Not to mention constant kpop** in the background.”

Thanks for indulging me!

*(Next year I’ll have information sheets pasted throughout the house, but until then, here’s some facts to prove that they are different and I do believe that it would be pretty offensive to call it sushi in front of Korean, but that’s just me having thin skin when it comes to defending Korea I guess.)

**(here’s the playlist of YouTube videos which you will note is a BTS-free zone lol.)

October is off to a good start, I really have to say. I was looking for something in this piece of Internet trash and saw that I kept alluding to the fact that things felt of last October, I didn’t feel right, it was different, etc. I’m happy to report that the October vibes feel right over here in the Oh Honestly shanty. Different since Chooch isn’t here, but still alright. I can’t explain it.

This past week was pretty good. I won’t count Monday since that was still September and lots of college administration errors came to light and had me feeling like I was on the precipice of a heart attack, but luckily, Tuesday October 1st was therapy day so that provided a solid start to the month, honestly.

Wednesday was weird but ultimately OK. Let me tell you about it. I went for my typical morning walk, which generally takes me down Brookline Blvd. It’s always early enough in the morning that the Pitaland guys are in the process of baking and sometimes I will see them coming outside for a walk. So, there is one guy in particular who I have become AM Friendly with (aka – it’s still early enough that I’m in a good mood and therefor more apt to say words to strangers). I used to always exchange morning salutations with the Pitaland proprietor, which was why I took his recent death so hard, but this guy was always my back-up – a familiar face I could count on to accept my probably-weird sounding hellos since I’m always wearing headphones and can’t hear myself.

Anyway!! On this particular morning, after I said hello, it looked like he was saying something with more syllables, so I actually PAUSED MY AUDIO BOOK FOR HIM (don’t worry, I wasn’t enjoying it anyway) and when I pulled down my headphones, he asked me if I wanted pita!!

Who am I to deny a fresh slab of pita?? Of course I said yes, and he came out with this puffed-up piece of a hummus vehicle and I felt like the motherfucker mayor of Brookline. Dead ass like I was in a Hallmark movie about a girl who finds love through baked goods in a small town but then I had to sidestep maybe-vomit on the sidewalk and some Yinzer screamed something indecipherable at me from across his Steelers-stickered truck and I remembered that nope, I’m still just in Brookline :) Anyway, I sent this picture to Henry and he was jealous because he’s the only one allowed to have Pitaland friends I guess.

My morning got weird for a minute though because I had ISSUES logging on to work – apparently my keyboard was glitching and I didn’t realize it so I kept putting in my password incorrectly and then I got LOCKED OUT and had to call the HELD DESK and got a guy who was either new or just one of those people who works the same position for years and just never gets it, because he was whispering things to himself like, “Recovery….recovery….where is it…..oh there—no, that’s not it….” and it took him about 15 minutes to get me helped when someone else probably could have done it in less than 5….

Anyway, then I was logged on and realized that my keyboard was totally effed – usually if I restart, it will correct itself, but even when I switched over to my home PC side, it was still acting a fool. So I called Henry screaming and he was like, “I WILL LEAVE WORK NOW AND GET YOU A NEW KEYBOARD, DO NOT CRY” and he really did it too, in less than 30 minutes!

But then, I got a delivery from Nooworks, one of my fave small, independent clothing lines and it occurred to me that the last time I had dreadful Help Desk issues and then got a delivery from Nooworks, Drew died. Literally, this same series of events. I was panicked, running around the house, looking for Penelope. I found her in the attic, curled up on the couch and looking pissed that I disturbed her. But you can best believe I had my eye on her all day after making that connection.

The rest of the day was fine! After work, I wanted to go and find something fun and non-alcoholic to bring to a cheese class I was doing the next night with my friend Lindsey. She doesn’t drink and I didn’t want to roll up with a bottle of wine because it’s kind of like if someone was hanging out with me and brought like, a slab of ribs – I wanted to bring something that I could share with her and I don’t really drink that often anyway, she types right before showing you a picture of a beer she bought at Giant Eagle and actually likes:

Henry said he doubted that I would like it, but I did!

Anyway, Giant Eagle didn’t have any mocktails or anything of that sort even though Henry, who is ALWAYS there, claims that they had a display near the wine section, so went to this place that I have heard of but never visited called OPEN ROAD, which is ALL non-alcoholic beers, wines, liquors, etc. It was unchartered territory for me so when the salesperson came out of the back and asked if I needed help, I said, “YEP. Guide me.” She was WONDERFUL!! Henry kind of slunk away into the shadows and ALL THE ATTENTION WAS MINE, MINE, MINE. I like being helped. Also, I need to be helped. Constantly. I was thrown into the world with no life skills.

I ended up getting a non-alcoholic Riesling to take the next night and prayed that it would be good!

This brings us to THURSDAY. I went into the office on this day. Here’s what happened. Margie and I had previously planned to meet in the office on Wednesday so I could go over some engagement letter stuff with her (doesn’t that sound fun? aren’t you jealous of my fun-sounding job!?) but then the whole Pgh office, not just our department, got invitations to an iManage training (ugh) which was IN-PERSON ONLY and NOT being recorded (wtf) so we were told in our dept meeting that while it wasn’t mandatory, it was seriously recommended that we attend one of the sessions. So, Margie and I shifted our in-person day to Thursday in order to birds/one stone, etc.

It’s weird, I used to get those “ugh, school” nerves in my stomach before going into the office, but now I’m just numb to it, I guess and in some sick way, I actually enjoy it in a sense?! It’s nice to see who will be there and go through the motions, I guess, I don’t know.

As soon as I walked in, I saw Jordan and Ethan at Margie’s desk and practically in unison, they said, “THE TRAINING WAS CANCELED.” The email went out at like 8:20 when pretty much everyone was already en route so people were pissed. I was happy about it! I didn’t want to go to the training, but needed to be in the office anyway, so it was actually kind of a blessing for me!

And it meant that I got to go on my lunchtime walk and literally run into a FERRIS WHEEL on one of the bridges, without having any prior knowledge of this thing being there! Henry said it was only just recently erected (lol) for Oktoberfest because apparently Pittsburgh does Oktoberfest now, who knew.

I didn’t bring my wallet with me so I had no money but this is also my LEAST favorite kind of Ferris Wheel because they remind me of janky church carnivals and I won’t ride them. However, I highly appreciated the color palette. It was so vibrant and fun to look at!

We saw it lit up last night and it looked so pretty.

Anyway, getting home from work was pandemonium because both tunnels had accidents so Henry was late picking me up and then we were even more late getting home because of the second accident in the other tunnel and I was mildly panicked because I could see inbound traffic and it was TRASH so Henry was like, “You will have to go The Scary Way” which is a route that requires going over a different bridge with loads of chaotic merging and that’s not for me, son. So, Henry drove me to Chantal’s, the cheese shop, and dropped me off hahahaha I’m a baby and I don’t care.

OMG this cheese class though. I knew that this was a thing, and I have driven past the shop so many times and always say, “Why don’t we ever go there?” to which Henry just grunts or ignores me because he lives in fear of the unknown being expensive, I don’t know with him. So, I was really excited when Lindsey suggested that we do this AND bought my spot as a wedding gift (LOL I love when wedding gifts are just for me and not Henry – this made that much sweeter!).

The class was small and intimate – just 11 of us plus Anais, the cheesemonger and owner of Chantal’s so I expected her name to be Chantal and am really glad I didn’t ask her that when I arrived (I was only the second person there and that person was having a convo with her and I wanted to butt my way in). Can you imagine?! After giving her my name, “And you must be Chantal!” Ugh I’m so glad my social anxiety prevented that from happening. Sometimes it goes the opposite way where it tears down my filter and I become TOO chatty and then dumb shit comes out of my mouth. Just sit there and smile, stupid.

But then Lindsey arrived and we had some time to chat before the class started – it was really nice to catch up and realize that we are all going through it, man. WTF is up with this year? I told her that at one point, I wondered if the moon was doing a thing but I don’t have enough interest in that stuff to figure it out. It was like, cheese therapy, though. Good company, good drinks (the Riesling and the fancy grape juice that Lindsey brought were delicious and worked so well with the cheeses!), and an informative class led by one of the most charming, charismatic, and passionate people I have ever met in this city. When you meet someone who is proud and excited about what they do, it is the epitome of inspiring! The cheese was actually just the cherry on top at that point!

This was a class to teach us specifically about Pennsylvania cheeses, by the way. It is really hard to pick a favorite – I enjoyed them all tremendously, no one enjoys cheese better than me, I am bigly cheese, made of it – but I will you that the pairing of the St Malachi with the apricot jam was incredible. They were made for each other. It was like a Disney wildlife symphony in my mouth with every bite.

I literally couldn’t offer up anything more eloquent than, “Wow.” And, “That was so good.” Maybe an occasional, “I know, right??” It was like “Erin’s Quiet Time.” Shh, Erin’s eating cheese, right now. Leave a message. Preferably on top of a wedge of cheese.

Afterward, we went down to the shop – it was my first time there and Anais said that it was mandatory for all first-timers to go look at the shop because it is cute and she loves it and she would drag us down there forcibly if needed. She was amazing. She could have served me Kraft slices and I would have been like, “Tell me how to buy more from you. This is my new favorite cheese.”

Down in the shop, I had intended on buying the Witchgrass or the Wild Rosemary, but then the couple we were seated with was asking Anais’s husband about some other kind of cheese called CHALLERHOCKER and we were wildin’ out over the creepy design of the wheel casing so everyone was calling it the demon cheese:

NOT MY PHOTO.

All four of us ended up buying some of it! I didn’t want to go hogwild on the cheese-buying because we truly don’t eat that much of it so I stopped while I was ahead and just got the demon cheese and a package of malt balls after Lindsey’s gushing over malt balls in general had me sold. I now associate with her Whoppers.

The next time I have a party though, it is Chantal’s cheeses or GTFO. I want to support this shop forever! And you should too!

I am so grateful to Lindsey for this experience, it was the perfect end to what was really a pretty hectic work week.

This brings us to Friday! I had the day scheduled off because I am at that point as usual where I need to use my PTO so that I don’t wind up in December with too much time leftover to fully roll over.

I initially had nothing planned, but the day before, my friend Maya messaged me out of the blue to tell me that it turns out we have a mutual friend in common because Pittsburgh, and then said we should grab coffee sometime because it has truly been years upon years since we have seen each other and we legit live within walking distance of each other.

“Actually, I’m off tomorrow….” I said, because I am actually not that much of a hermit – if you ask me to hang out, I will! Sometimes I just get lazy with initiating on my end. It does feel nice to be asked, though! Anyway, this is how Maya and I ended up at Potomac Station Coffee for THREE HOURS talking our faces off over muffins and coffee.

Literally – three hours and it felt like MAYBE only one, tops. It was so nice to see her, catch up, talk about life. I SHOULD HAVE MADE HER TAKE A SELFIE WITH ME because I am all about preserving these things the older I get (did we even have coffee if no one at least snapped a pic of their coffee cup), but we were really in a gab-zone that it didn’t even occur to me. It did crack me up though that the reason she realized we have a friend in common is because the friend in question – Brian – posted an old picture from my pie party and she commented and said, “That looks like one of my friend Erin’s pie parties!” and he said, “It was!” Apparently, their kids go to the same school and are besties! Small city, man. You can always count on these kinds of connections in Pittsburgh.

(P.S. Maya is my friend who made all of my special Warped Tour-era dolls, like Jonny Craig, Vic Fuentes from Pierce the Veil, and Christofer Drew for Chooch! OMG and also a Ju-On for Chooch, lol!)

I am going to make an effort to keep in better touch with her because, especially with this transition into Empty Nester Land, I need to make changes. At first I thought maybe I needed a new job, but I do genuinely like my job even when it’s annoying and stressful, and starting over in that realm is only going to add more stress to my life and I am FRAGILE RIGHT NOW, PEOPLE. So, Henry and I have been talking about just getting out and doing more things rather than sitting on the couch all night looking at our phones while half-watching whatever is on TV. We do have some “double date” nights planned for this month though so I’m looking forward to those!

And then I ended the night with a new-to-us haunt in Ohio with Henry and it was really a great night where I accumulated some new monster boyfriends,  but I will have a separate haunted house recap post.

I feel OK! I am still crying every day about Drew (Penelope’s and her birthday was yesterday, so that felt raw). I had a dream about her last night, so I woke up this morning and cried first thing, but it’s OK. I feel like I have reached “normal” grief levels and you know, the more I talk to friends (and my therapist, I love her so much, she is the perfect match for my screwed-up head), the more heard and understood I feel. It’s the people who don’t get it who are the weird ones!

Last Saturday, we officially celebrated Chooch’s high school graduation with friends and family. It was a really nice day. It was HOT (around 90 degrees but not all that bad under the shelter, thankfully). Shout out to Corey for meeting us there several hours before the party started to help set up, and for leaving before the party started to get the cake and some balloons. It was such a hectic morning.

I don’t have many words to say about it because I feel like I mostly floated around in a fugue state, but I do have pictures and will also say that being around my friends—especially so many that I haven’t seen in too long—was like, what were those books called? CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP FOR THE SOUL, lol. OMG I hate myself.

We had this cardboard cutout made and Chooch was not stoked on it but Core certainly was!

Get in the zone, photo zone.

The cake was one of the few things I was able to cross off the list myself, although it took me approx. 9 tries to actually get it ordered because I kept spacing out every time or being paralyzed by indecisiveness. But I finally did it. Normally I would get almond cake because all of my events are as important as weddings I guess, but one of Chooch’s friends has a tree nut allergy so we opted for half white / half chocolate. I was ranting about this during the party, and when I mockingly said, “tree nut allergy,” my friend Chris (of Chronica fame) said, “Oh, I have that now too” so then I felt like a dummy asshole girl.

But yo, the picture lol. Bethel Bakery called me and said, “Just so you know, the picture is a little blurry” and I said, “Oh that’s OK. It’s a screenshot from a video, it’s just a joke” and they were like, “Oh OK haha” with slight confusion. C’mon BB, ya gotta have a file for me by now. I can’t remember the last time I would have ordered a normal cake from them. The last one was Lauren’s goodbye cake and there were questions when I went to pick it up, lol.

Guests

• Corey
• Val
• Ryan
• My dad
• Megan & Eric
• Kari & Katelynn
• Kara
• Christy, Claire, Julia
• Amber
• Lauren
• Amy & Dick
• Chris & Monica
• Debby & Marlene
• Pam
• Janna
• Judy
• Isai
• Graehm
• Daniel C
• Daniel K
• Ben
• Roman
• Simon
• Adele
• Evan
• Aaliyah (not the ghost of the singer)

Apparently, there was a snafu with USPS not delivering some of the invitations, which is what I get for trying to be old-school and formal by snail-mailing them, but whatever. I’m over it.

Besides the cake, putting together the photo collages was the only other thing I could really assist with. I am so devastated that I lacked the mental wherewithal to go all-in like I typically would for a party. I love throwing parties. I love planning parties. But I am lucky I was able to uncoil myself from the fetal position long enough to do enough this. 

Marcy, Speck and Bambi all made cameos here. </3

We made these too for photo props (we = Henry, although I did get all of the pictures picked out before Drew died and my world ended, so that was something).

Corey has been taking this almost as hard as me. At one point, he stood next to me, looked over at Chooch who was seated at a table with his friends, and said, “I’m just so proud of him. He turned into such a nice young man!” and I was like, “OMG calm down.”

Lol.

This is the first and only photo of all 4 sibs! Hopefully there are more (fun, celebratory – gotta be careful with my wording here because THE UNIVERSE IS CRUEL) opportunities in the future photo ops.

This looks like the saddest party but it was before it really got going. (I mean, we didn’t necessarily get crunk or anything but it did get a bit more lively. It did kind of suck because of a lot of the regulars weren’t able to make it due to fucking busy summer social calendars which is a reminder of why I always had the pie parties in the fall. We really missed Nate, Wonka/Jess, Wendy, Lori, Margie and Sandy, for sure.)

No we will look at pictures that I forced people to pose for:

The Castle Blood connection <3

I have a knack for taking stealth-mode pictures, catching everyone off guard and making it look like a somber event. To be fair though, my mom is currently going through a legal battle with some psycho who bought property next to hers and my dad is partially responsible for the issue in question so I’m sure there was a lot of talk about that. Nnnngggh.

That is for sure what’s happening here.

These three helped put some pieces of my heart back in place that day and I am so thankful for that. It has been so hard and they get it.

Eric writing a list of places for Chooch to get a cheese steak when he moves to Philly even though Megan said, “Eric, he doesn’t eat meat” lol. His commitment to the cause was appreciated though!

Who would have thought that last August when we met Pam on the first night of the Coaster Crew Norden Adventure, that she’d be living in Brookline and attending Chooch’s grad party a year later? Life is wild.

<3 these two. Their lives have been so hectic and busy and the fact that they still made time to come out to the park for this was not lost on me. Truly appreciate them!

OMG I haven’t seen Christy’s kids in forever.

And btw, Christy is my oldest friend from childhood and also Chooch’s godmother <3. (His godfather couldn’t be bothered to RSVP – and I emailed the invitation to him so can’t blame that one on the USPS.)

Chronica ALWAYS shows up for the assignment.

Chooch with his first true love, Kara lol.

OMG the first Kelly family photo in decades! I already posted about this.

I was like, “The kids will love the photo zone” but then I had to force them to stand there. You can see how thrilled some of them are, lol. Some of the kids had already left before I had a chance to get them, too.

BIG SMILES, BIG SMILES.

Holy shit you guys, the way I am so relieved that this party happened, people showed up, Chooch had fun, I managed to not cry…I was so worthless with most of the preparation. Thank god for Henry, who quietly made 75% of the food (my mom also made food!!) and 75% of the props/decorations/collages. I did get my shit together a bit at the end and managed to not only send some additional photos to the printer, but also found the will to sit here and tape the pictures onto the boards.

I have been so stressed. So depressed. My mom told me to cancel/postpone the party but I couldn’t do that to Chooch. And it helped to be around friends and family.

Here’s to Drexel in the fall, adjusting to that empty nest life, rolling with the changes. I can do this. Right?

I woke up this morning totally in a fit having just had my annual Psycho Mike nightmare. These honestly come out of the blue, 갑자기, unprovoked and apropos of nothing other than what appears to be decades-long untreated and unresolved issues. It’s crazy because the last several times we saw each other – the last being right after my 21st bday I believe and if I remember correctly, I was even telling him about how I thought I “kinda” liked Henry – we were on good terms. Not exactly friends but we had made enough amends that if we were to ever run into each other, it would have been fine. But then these nightmares started, and I don’t know if it’s because he has never acknowledged the fact that he straight up abused me, I mean – I’m not armchair shrink but I have to believe that’s what is going on here. Anyway, this last one was a real doozy, I was trying to lock him out but all of doors were screen doors and I kept screaming for Janna to call the police but she wasn’t and I just really thought “this is it, he’s going to kill me this time.”

Also, in my dream we had a KID TOGETHER and oh lord, I can’t even imagine how catastrophic that would have been IRL.

Just realllly started my day off on a sour note. I even looked him up and was startled to see that he lives in a town not far from me so now I feel like I can never go there again.

All of this is to say that my day did get better, though! I had a brunch with Sandy, Nate, Amber and Lauren today at Sally Ann’s and they pulled out some bachelorette accoutrements much to my surprise (I thought Sandy was joking when we scheduled this back in January and she said, “ooh bachelorette brunch!” and Nate piped in that he’d bring the “pecker banner” which THANKFULLY did not happen, although they considered inviting Mitch as a stripper.)!

Sandy had Blame Henry and Team Henry sashes made!

And a ton of Henry Head Confetti!

I texted Henry and his review of this madness was:

And Sandy gifted me with these ducks which is a KOREAN WEDDING TRADITION SO NOW I FEEL A LITTLE MORE LEGIT!

As much as I feel weird and silly to want to make a big deal about these 20+ years in the making nuptials (so I have been trying to be lowkey about it), it’s nice to be reminded that my friends are here for it and want to celebrate it with us. Now, let’s just see if it actually happens, considering the amount of times I’ve called it off in the last week alone haha.

This weekend was beautiful.

PART 1: Just a Quiet Day in the Office

I went into the office to work on Wednesday because I had dinner plans that evening in Market Square with some work pals, current and past. It was storming and raining and windy – a perfect Just Stay Home weather cocktail – but Wendy was going in too, so I put on my big girl pants and sucked it up. It was nice going through my jewelry though, and choosing what to wear since I haven’t been accessorizing much since 2020. The little things. I even popped on my engagement ring that I rarely wear because I still haven’t gotten it resized, since I was going to dinner with THE LADIES that night.

As usual, it was empty there. Just Wendy, Lucas, Terry, and me. With the occasional interloper from other floors, like Beth, who walked by and merrily said, “Hey Erin!” to me. I don’t know why this stopped me dead, but for some reason I didn’t think she actually knew my name?! So, I giddily Jabbered Amber, who was like, “But you’re the girl she gave her mother’s wig to!” OK, this is true. You probably don’t forget someone’s name after that.

This was apropos of nothing. Back to the story.

The day was slow and quiet. Finally, around 6:oo, Wendy popped over and said, “Hey, come with me to the parking garage so I can get my car keys before it’s too late, and then we’ll start walking over.” I was kind of excited about this because I haven’t been in the parking garage in probably 10 years, and again – the little things! As we took the elevator down to the lobby, Wendy was struggling with her multitude of bags and accidentally hit the emergency call button, sounding off an alarm and the crackle of the disembodied, tinny voice of a security guard asking, Hello, hello, is there an emergency? Wendy was all flustered, yelling back, “NO I DON’T KNOW HOW THAT HAPPENED I DIDN’T PRESS THE BUTTON”

“One of your six bags pressed it, Wendy,” I said, and she was like NO, MY BAG WOULD NEVER.  Anyway, it gave the security people a good laugh when we got down to the lobby. I had my hands up saying IT WASN’T ME! and Wendy’s bag is also still not owning up to it, but then it turned out that one of the security people was being trained so it was a “good learning moment.”

Next, we had to take a different elevator down to the garage. Wendy finally realized she needed help with her bag situation and asked me to hold one for her, so now I looked like a mini-Wendy with my own giant crossbody body; one of her monster bags on my right shoulder; and, in my left hand, a bag of Girl Scout cookies that I bought from Wendy’s daughter. I was sweating from the exertion. After Wendy got her key on one level of the garage, we walked down a stairwell to where her car was parked and she finally dumped at least 75% of the bags in her car and then we were finally free to walk to Pizzaiolo Primo in Market Square.

It’s a short walk, but holy shit had the temperature dropped since that morning, Larry! I at least had the foresight to bring a jacket but I was still shivering. We arrived 20 minutes before our reservation, so we sat at the bar. I was already very uncomfortable because it was a tight space and I had my huge bag with my work laptop and everything else in it, plus this bag of cookies!! and there was just nowhere to set everything. So, with my bag on my lap, I was trying to rummage through the pockets of it for my wallet when I immediately noticed that…

MY ENGAGEMENT RING WAS NO LONGER ON MY FINGER.

You want to talk about when a cold sweat might immediately spring forth? Apparently, this is one of those times.

PART 2: “I LOST MY FUCKING RING”

“So I just LOST MY ENGAGEMENT RING,” I croaked, hysterics boosting my voice higher with every word.

“What??” Wendy cried, and then swooped into my purse, pulling everything out and placing it on the bar while I am now standing up, fully in the way of all the servers coming in and out of the kitchen, acutely aware of how close all of the tables of diners are to me in my time of panic, patting myself down, rummaging through the empty pockets of my jacket, looking on the floor. Now I can feel my eye twitching and for some STUPID reason, I am SO CONCERNED about “how this looks,” “making a scene,” “having the contents of my purse on the bar for all to see.” WOW, WHERE DO I GET THAT FROM, GRANDMA. I’m on the edge at this point, the room is closing in on me, I feel like I’m going to be sick, I need to bolt.

“I’m going back to the office to look,” I whispered hoarsely in someone else’s voice.

“I’ll come with you,” Wendy said, starting to gather her stuff but I stopped her.

“I don’t want to ruin dinner for you!” I said, and thankfully at that moment, Jill arrived so I didn’t feel guilty leaving Wendy alone. So, I used this as my opportunity to escape and run back to the office, having a near-miss with a questionable man raving about something in the middle of Market Square. I don’t remember the jog back except for being pissed that the back doors to the building were already locked and I had to walk around to the front. I DID NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS.

PART 3: THE LAMONT INTERLUDE

First I searched the floor of the elevator Wendy and I had used, then I went to our floor where I dumped everything out of my bag in the office space I was using that day. I was SO ANGRY AND FRANTIC, ripping everything out and slamming it on the table and then shaking my empty bag out but the only small, loose item that dropped out with a “tink” was an errant salmakki-flavored FISHERMAN’S FRIEND cough drop from Finland.

“FFFFFUUUUUCK!!!!!” I screamed, squeezing my hands into muscle-quaking fists. It was nearly 6:30 at this point so I assumed I was alone on the floor and just let it alllll out.

Catching my breath after whatever number freak-out that was, I had lost count, I left my office and retraced my steps around the floor. I hadn’t gone anywhere during work hours except to the bathroom and kitchen, but there was no trace of a ring. I got so fucking angry in the kitchen though, thinking of how every goddamn  time I used the sink that day, I was so careful to take ALL of my rings off and set them far aside on the counter. The sink at work is one of those “inSINKerator” deals and at one point during the day, I was washing my coffee cup and imagined having to stick my hand down there to search for a lost ring and then having to live the rest of my life with a hook-hand. This was a real life thought I had that day!! My mind was trying to subconsciously tell me, “Take that ring off now and lock it up somewhere because you’re slated to lose it later.”

AND I IGNORED IT.

When I circled back to my office,  the cleaning guy was in there.

“Oh!” he said, startled. “Someone is here! I was wondering where all that stuff came from!” he laughed.

“I LOST MY RING,” I said to him frantically.

“Oh man, and I just emptied your garbage!” he said. “Here, let me sift through….” and he started to dig through his garbage receptacle but I was like, “Look, I didn’t throw that much away today, I know it’s not there. I know I lost it outside,” and then the hopeless overtook me again and the tears sprung up and he’s all, “Oh, no, look, I’m gonna help you! I lost my class ring here once and I know how shitty—excuse my language—that feels!”

So we searched the small, mostly empty office because no one works there full time in person anymore so there wasn’t much to overturn. But still, his presence was very calming to me, and it was a connection I didn’t know I needed at that time.

“Hey, I’m Erin by the way.”

“Monty! Lamont!” he said and then fist-bumped me.

AND THEN HERE COMES TERRY.

“Hey, Erin,” he said, startled to see that I was still here.

“I LOST MY RING!!!” I cried, back to needing a fainting sofa.

“Oh,” Terry stuttered uncomfortably. “Do you want a box of Girl Scout cookies?” He held up a bag of no less than 10 boxes that he had bought from Wendy.

NO I DON’T WANT A FUCKING BOX OF GIRL SCOUT COOKIES, I WANT MY FUCKING RING!!!

But instead, I just quietly said, “No thank you.”

“You got any pecan in there?” Lamont asked.

“Um….let me see,” Terry said, and then proceeded to take all of the boxes out and display them on a counter.

Lamont chose a box of Thin Mints.

PART 4. HERE COMES WENDY

After Lamont promised to keep looking and turn it in if he found it, we said goodbye and I made my way to the parking garage, where I called Henry and screamed, “I LOST MY RING COME PICK ME UP.” Because there was no fucking way I was going to dinner at this point. You on a diet and want something to help you curb your appetite? LOSE YOUR ENGAGEMENT RING!

I walked all around the garage. In the stairwell that seemed like forever and a day ago when I was commented on how freshly painted it appeared. All around Wendy’s car. By the door to the office where Wendy picked up her keys.

Nothing but dirt and gravel and things I don’t want to think about.

Now Wendy is calling me. “I’m on my way back to the office to help you!” she said, sounds of traffic and the same man in Market Square screaming in the background.

I tried to get her to go back to the dinner. This wasn’t her problem and I didn’t want dinner to be ruined for her. I told her it was fine, Henry was on his way and I was just going to go home. “It’s gone,” I said in defeat. “I know I lost it outside somewhere and there is no chance in hell it’s going to turn up now.” That cold air probably helped it slide right off and I never even felt it.

“I’m almost there,” Wendy said. “I’m by McCormicks—” and I looked up from where I was standing on the sidewalk and saw her walking toward me, so this was happening. I walked over to meet her, and as we continued to walk back toward our office, she tripped and fell hard! It was just like a stumble-to-the-knees but a face-down sprawl and now I’m REALLY feeling like the biggest asshole ever, and I’m crying, “OMG ARE YOU OK THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!”

Two women passing by also stopped to help but Wendy was like “I’M FINE” and got up on her own and then some black gentleman across the street was yelling, “ARE YOU OK??” and I called back, “She’s fine!” because he wouldn’t stop yelling, and then he goes, “OK BECAUSE I HAVE A PHD IN—-” but then I couldn’t hear what he said over the traffic, which is probably good because I have a feeling it was something crude, but also I really do want to know, a PhD in what?!!?

I was so worried that she was injured and all she cared about was helping me find a ring that doesn’t even have that much monetary value so at this point I’m just like, “Fuck this ring, it’s causing more harm than good at this point” but she was already marching toward the building’s entrance where we ran into Megan who had just arrived to town from the trolley.

She took one look at me and had a *yikes* look on her face before I even had a chance to wail, “I LOST MY ENGAGEMENT RING!!!!”

“We’ll meet you back at the restaurant,” Wendy calmly said to Megan and I was like, “YOU WILL, I WON’T. I AM GOING HOME TO DIE. HENRY IS ALREADY ON HIS WAY.” But Wendy was like, “OK I am going to continue to ignore that” and led me back up to the 10th floor where she STUCK HER HAND DOWN THE KITCHEN SINK DRAIN WHILE I STOOD THERE BEGGING HER NOT TO. Don’t worry, she’s a trained professional (a/k/a adult) so she knew what was she doing which is how this remained a tale of only one person losing something.

After searching the garage again, we went back up the street where Wendy continued to hound me to come back to the restaurant. “Let’s just go back and have a nice dinner, it’ll take your mind off it.” I was still resisting when….

PART 5. IN ROLLS HENRY

Henry pulled up to the curb and looked alarmed and tentative because I’m not sure he fully knew what was going on still. I opened the passenger door and hurled my bag at him because seeing him reminded me that he was the one who got me a ring in the wrong size in the first place (I had to wear it on my pointer finger and even then it was still too loose!!) nevermind the fact that it was me who kept putting off getting it resized so now I am pissed off and projecting it on Henry.

“WELL ARE YOU GOING TO PARK AND HELP ME LOOK??” I screamed and then he and Wendy had a silent exchange where they communicated many sentiments with just their eyes, and then Wendy closed the passenger door and he drove away, presumably to park, I don’t know, I hated him and never wanted to see him again at that point.

Now Wendy and I are standing alone on the sidewalk and I start CRYING which I hate doing in public but also, it’s downtown Pgh post-pandemic, some white bitch crying on the sidewalk is not worthy of a second glance.

“It’s an omen!” I wailed, channeling my best desperate dating show contestant. “I’m never going to get married!”

Wendy takes me by the shoulders and goes, “LISTEN. YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED WITH OR WITHOUT THIS RING. THE RING DOESN’T MATTER.”

“BUT IT’S A SIGN!!”

Wendy, desperate for all of us to have dinner together,  now lures me back to the restaurant under the pretense of “retracing our steps again and looking around the sidewalk” which turned into “OK let’s just go back inside the restaurant and you can leave your contact info with the bartender in case you lost it in  there and it turns up.” Jesus, she was still in GIRL SCOUT MODE after helping Summer sell cookies, I guess.

We get to Market Square and that same guy is still there, yelling his grievances into the sky.

PART 6. BACK AT THE RESTAURANT, BEGRUDGINGLY

Now I’m inside at the bar, the bartenders are talking to me about the ring but it all sounds like underwater word bubbles, I just want to leave. So after I write down my number, I go to push the open and Wendy is like, “Just come upstairs to the table and say hi to everyone.”

I’m like, Jesus Christ Wendy, no one cares if I miss a dinner, I see or talk to these people regularly! They will be fine! I will not be missed!

I finally give in because she is being relentless. I walk upstairs to “say hi, omg” and everyone at the table is just sitting there, frozen, looking at me with terse smiles because they know I AM IN A MOOD and I feel so stupid and self-conscious, still doing the body shudder / post-cry sniffle and I just feel disheveled, you know? Not really wanting to be in a crowded restaurant, but whatever, here I am, hello now can I go.

But then as I’m looking around the table, it slowly (and I do mean slowly) dawns on me that….this was a bridal shower dinner.

They took our ordinary for-no-reason dinner and centered it around me, managing to keep me completely in the dark.

And of course, I would go and lose my engagement ring 20 minutes before a dinner in honor of my upcoming maybe-nuptials.

CLASSIC ERIN.

ERIN RACHELLE KELLY 101.

I still want to go home though because now on top of everything else, I’m embarrassed and mortified and just feel terrible that I ruined for everyone what should have been a nice night. Gooooo, Erin! At least it wasn’t as bad as when I had a huge blow-out fight with my mom at her house and then drove back here only to find that some of my friends had planned a surprise party for my 21st birthday and I flipped out and couldn’t calm down and they ended up taking me to Mercy Hospital in an attempt to 302 me.

That was an…event alright.

Anyway, Wendy managed to steer me to the guest of honor seat and was like, “Just sit down and we will pack all this stuff up for you and then you can leave,” and Regina flagged down a server for a bag and Marlene was patting my shoulder while I was gulping down ice water. But you know what? In that short amount of time, Marlene had made me start giggling a little and then my shoulders started to lower from my earlobes one centimeter at a time, and the next thing I knew, I was saying in a small voice, “OK, I’ll stay.”

PART 7. I’M STAYING

“She’s staying!” Regina called out in case Jill and Megan didn’t hear from the other end of the table, and then Debby was like, “Yay! Do you want to put on your veil—”

“NO,” I interrupted firmly. LOL.

So instead, Debby snapped her fingers and before I knew it, a glass of wine was being slid in front of me. And after the first glass, you know what? “I’m ready to wear the tiara now,” I said and everyone was like “Yay!”

“And the vei—” Debby started.

“NO.”

I did agree to the “bride-to-be” sash though.

“Oh shit! I forgot about Henry!” I laughed, and then texted him: I’m staying now.

I know, Wendy told me. Thanks.

LOLOLOL.

I wonder what it looked like to the other diners, the table decorated beautifully, gifts, flower petals, and then here comes the guest of honor looking like she just found out her favorite Kpop group is disbanding before being forced to look at Trump’s nudes. Depressed and traumatized.

When we were all getting ready to leave, the bartender walked past and said, “Happy…..birthday? Con…..gratulations? Not sure what you’re celebrating but I hope it’s great!” She looked so concerned about how to approach me though, because I’m sure I looked beaten down and exhausted, but I was also wearing a tiara and had bags of presents like maybe I just reached the End Game of some dark and intense work initiation that had me running around the city on a quest to find a lost object the size of a nickel and the color of the sidewalk while pitting me against random co-workers trying to thwart my progress by pushing Girl Scout cookies on me and ending with the final round of seeing how many temper tantrums I could throw without getting fired by the Final Boss.

I love these ladies. <3 Honestly had no expectation of anything bridal-related happening since this doesn’t even feel real to begin with. Also, I’m so sad that there’s a water glass blocking my HAECHAN photocard in my badge holder (amazing I didn’t lose that as well that night.)

I forget who it was that asked if Henry was mad about the ring and I was like, “Henry? Mad? LOL.” I believe Henry’s low-key response was, “It’s just an object. You still have your finger. We’ll get you a new ring.” He’s already contacted the jewelry on Etsy and she said she does have a similarly-shaped raw diamond on hand so she’s going to make a new one and said there’s no obligation for him to purchase. I’m trying to look on the bright side here, and maybe instead of a bad omen, it’s a good thing. Because that ring had so many bad, traumatic feelings attached to it caused from the BOTCHED PROPOSAL at the Cure concert. So maybe a new ring will be good. And maybe this new one will be even prettier than the first! WHO CAN BE SURE.

Look at this card that Megan made me! The inside said “congratulations” written in Hangul and Marlene was shocked and awed that I could read it. I’m glad my preschool-level Korean impresses someone! I love that Megan gave Henry aka Herbert a backwards cap and his soju flavor is blueberry since he hates blueberries but has spent the last 20+ years suffering through blueberry-flavored desserts that I ask him to share with me. 

Also, Megan got me this “love” LED sign!!

And Wendy’s “something blue”!

Debby got me a series of fabulous framed prints, and Marlene got me this quirky yellow and black paint-splattered tea pot that looks perfect in the kitchen. And Jill and Regina contributed to the Korea fund.  AND during all of this, Henry texted me from home that he secured our appointments with the US Embassy for March 26th in Seoul, so that is one giant hurdle down toward actually “getting married” in Korea. We have been waiting on pins and needles for the Embassy to open up appointments for the week we’ll be there, so this was perfect timing. This and my wonderful friends saved the night. Thanks to Wendy’s persistence too, because I was seriously so close to pulling a runner when she wasn’t looking but she was so freaking vigilant until she finally got me upstairs in that restaurant.

So far, I’m 2 for 2 with miserable, unhappy ugly-crying in public at my marriage-related events. Yep, that tracks.

Looking back, it’s now really funny when I thought that the dumbest thing that was going to happen that day was when I accidentally ingested molten wax because I used a DISPOSABLE WAX CUP in the coffee maker at work. It was already melting as I frantically tried to transport the coffee to a regular coffee cup and then I had this weird wax residue all over my hands.

YOU THOUGHT, ERIN.

The next day, I couldn’t stop thinking about Lamont and how good he was at helping me calm down, and how much he genuinely seemed to care about finding my ring. So, I called the cleaning service company and told the lady who answered about my tragedy (lol) and how kind he was to me and that I just needed someone to know that, because it’s not always common these days. She was so happy that I called and thanked me for letting her know, and that she would pass it on to his supervisor. She was like, “I love this, we need more positivity in the world!” and I said, “Yes, and less Karens!” It was a nice phone call, but then I was reminded of years ago when a cleaning guy from the same company accidentally broke some dumb thing on my desk that I didn’t even care about and had to fill out an INCIDENT REPORT and I kept telling our facilities lady (THE SAME ONE WHO REMEMBERED MY NAME ON WEDNESDAY, THIS POST HAS COME FULL CIRCLE!) that I truly didn’t care and didn’t want him to get in trouble but I don’t know if he did or not!?! I should have called then, too. Ugh.

I’m kind of off to a good start for 2024, socially, having had plans nearly every week so far with friends. Two Saturdays ago, I met Wendy and Jeannie for breakfast at the Freedom Diner in Verona – I was trying to find a spot that would be centrally located for all three of us and it ended up being mildly more out of the way for me but I didn’t mind! I blasted a Seventeen playlist and enjoyed driving on a nearly car-free RT 28.

This breakfast was serendipitously planned (by ME, might I add) because it happened to be the day after we found out sad news and it was really therapeutic and cathartic to be able to meet up so soon after and take solace in each other’s company while getting the stink eye from our seasoned waitress in hot pink knee socks who was really doing her best to wordlessly hint that we were overstaying our welcome.

I had to photograph my meatless eggs benedict to send to Nate as a taunt because the weekend prior, he was screwed out of eggs benedict at back-to-back brunches, but then I never sent this to him because it seemed dumb.

I honestly can’t even remember what else happened that weekend. Nothing out of the ordinary, probably?!

Friday after work, Henry and I went to Shawn and Jess’s for dinner and games! Chooch was originally going to come along too but then his friends showed up at the house and kidnapped him. He had big regertz though because Shawn is his idol and mentor* and he was actually torn over who to choose, but his friends idling in our driveway definitely swayed his decision.

*(No literally – he needed a mentor for some school project he was doing and Shawn was his first choice. Apparently, I learned later, Chooch was GREAT at waiting until the last minute and messaging Shawn at like, midnight, to be like, “Hey so that one thing is due soon…oh, like tomorrow.” LOL wow. Great job.)

Anyway! Henry made a batch of GF brownies to take over, and Jess made vegan lentil soup that was sooooo good and filling! I also realized that I have more in common with their teenage daughter Anais than most same-aged friends, so that was fun. (We went to the same cooking school, evidently, of “just turn the stove up all the way to get it cooked the quickest” and we also cheer on the Team Microwave squad.)

I barely use BeReal anymore because I’m usually just sitting at home in sweatpants when I get the alert!

Before we knew it, it was 3:30AM!!! Fran, I can’t remember the last time I stayed at someone’s house that late!!! I mean, back in the day, people were always at my house super fucking late because I ran with a gang of vampires back then, but dang. I wasn’t even tired! Well, my jaw was, because I never stopped talking all night. I was divulging all these past traumas like it was NO BIG THANG and I could kind of feel Henry’s eyes on me, wondering if I took a street pill before we got there because my lips were so loose, they were dangling.

I guess I just really needed to talk about some of that stuff?!!? Lol ugh.

Saturday was a bust because we felt like we were hungover even though we only had 1-2 glasses of wine and that was way back in the beginning of the evening when we were eating dinner! I dragged Henry out of bed around 1PM (UGH!) and made him go to Homewood Cemetery with me, where I proceeded to cry because my new shoes hurt, and then I threw a fit as we were leaving because he was being weird about me wanting to buy something so I started screaming about how I make more money than him and that he treats me like Britney Spears like I’m in a goddamn conservatorship so he was like FINE YOU WANT TO SPLIT OUR MONEY UP FINE YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN! And I was like GOOD! And then after a pause I was like, “I WANT LUNCH” and he was all, “OH WELL YOU’RE OUT OF THE CONSERVATORSHIP SO GET YOUR OWN FUCKING LUNCH.’

The audacity!! I hate it when he tries to fight back! Anyway, I won and he got me WANGZ from ShadoBeni, yay!

Then that night, Janna texted me about a mini docuseries called KRISHNAS about all the fucked up shit that happened at THE PALACE OF GOLD in the 80s! I remember reading something about it, probably on Roadside America when I first “discovered” Palace of Gold as a tourist attraction back in 2010 or whatever, but I had no idea the extent of it.

Allegedly, it’s not a breeding ground for murder, molestation, grooming, racketeering and whatever these days so if you wanna go and get some bitchin’ food at Govinda’s Cafe after strolling through the rose garden and being leered at by the Dancing Acolytes, you let your girl know. I haven’t been there since 2019!

Sunday was OK. We went for another walk in the cemetery because it was actually kind of nice out – this time we went to Jefferson Memorial where we both have family buried and I talked about Barb and funerals and dying and then started panicking because we have NOTHING in order even though I have been on a “we need to make arrangements” kick for years. I obsess over these things.

Oh, and as I’m writing this, guess who had to cancel their debit card again because it was hacked again? This time PNC was calling me because someone was trying to use it at a volleyball, and unless Chooch suddenly is a romantic and trying to win back the affection of his not-gf with whom he’s already on the outs one month in by gifting her with some suck-up ice for her wrist, I’m going to guess someone got his card info. You know what? I don’t care. This is a Chooch Problem. (Which will be promptly reassigned to Henry lol.)

This past weekend was weird. I can’t really put my finger on it, but I just felt like I was, out-of-body. Just uncomfy and disoriented a little? Probably a lot of it was the gray, cold skies; winter in general. Broken record a-go-go but I really hate winter.

Random squishy pumpkin toy on the floor up there but an otherwise clean-ish house because guess why, guess you guys?!

CHOOCH INVITED THE MYSTERY GIRL OVER.

I mean, I thought it was CURIOUS that he was suddenly re-designing his room with less than a year to go before he moves out for college (even if he goes to a Pittsburgh college, he wants to live on campus which is fine by me, cool bye), and then on Friday I heard him VACCUUMING up there? Like, how did he even know where the vaccuum was or how to use it is beyond me.

I was actually sooo giddy and also a nervous wreck waiting for her to arrive. I know that Chooch was big regretting inviting her over and I swear I wasn’t as bad as I could have been. Was I waiting by the door? Fully. Did I make them sit down for a grueling Q&A sesh? No, but I wanted to. Basically, we introduced ourselves to each other and then Chooch IMMEDIATELY made it super uncomfortable so I was like, “OMG fine you can go” and then that’s all I’ll say about that because I guess I should be mindful of his privacy even though this is the first time he actually was interested enough in someone to bring them over?!

(SHE IS REALLY CUTE AND NICE FYI.)

Henry cleaned the Fiji Mermaid’s “tank” for me, literally the first time since I’ve had this thing which was….back when I did the creepy carnival Halloween desk at work right?! I think that must have been 2012?!

The next day, I was supposed to have brunch with Lauren, Sandy, Amber and Nate at The Nook. I would like to go on record here to say that I was not the one who chose this place, but I was the first one to arrive so I was the one who had to go in and put my name in (they’re one of those fucking annoying trendy places that don’t take reservations). The guy said it would be about 45 minutes and I was like “hnng” but I went ahead and put my name down anyway because I didn’t know?!

There’s nowhere to wait inside so the five us huddled out front on the sidewalk -a block  I mean it wasn’t super cold that day but it also wasn’t super great either. So then we were all getting bitchy and complainy and I kept feeing like I was now responsible for this choice of locale and let me just tell you that if it were ever up to me, I would never choose somewhere in Lawrenceville and would probably also make sure that there was an actual parking lot. I just can’t handle street parking!! Which is why Henry dropped me off.

Then, everyone voted for me to go in and yell at them and I was like, “I CAN’T DO THAT, I’M NOT EVEN THE ONE WHO WANTED TO EAT HERE?!” but I did go in after the waiting app thing told me that we had surpassed the alleged 45 minute wait we were given, and now the guy was backpeddling and saying that it was just an estimate and probably 10 more minutes or so it would be ready!?

I didn’t buy it, so I came out and said, “I think we should leave” and everyone was like “yes, lead the way” but I struggled to do so because I was wearing Vans with peds (super responsible winter gear) so now that I had to walk after standing still in the cold for 45+ minutes, I was having a hard time getting my feet to cooperate.

Anyway, a block away, Sandy saw the Tryp hotel which has a restaurant and she was like, “Let’s just go there” and we followed her like little ducklings because at this point, I think “being inside” mattered more to us than “brunch.” The restaurant, of course, was closed BUT!! There was a coffee counter and a lady was behind it so Sandy yelled from the doorway, “Are you open and can you feed us?” She said a double yes, so we had brunch (lunch at this point) in the empty basement of some random hotel. Literally, aside from the barista and her baby and baby daddy, we were the only people there the whole time and it ended up being perfect.

“Look, it’s Lauren from the Old Country!” Nate exclaimed, and then to me, he commanded in a quieter voice, “Take a picture!” So I took a picture of Lauren from the Old Country.

I know it’s corny, but it really isn’t about the food or the restaurant. If you are with your friends, that’s everything and the only thing! Was my Impossible Burger memorable? Not really. But was the convo fantastico? Hell yes. And also, shout out to the barista who had the biggest, most genuine smile on her face the entire time. That was just the cherry on top.

The rest of the weekend was literally me trying to force Henry to learn at least one Seventeen member and making our list of things to do in Korea because oh yeah, we booked our flight :)

Our department had a belated holiday get together last night at Dave & Busters. Would you believe it was the first time I’ve ever gone there?? Just never had the desire, I guess. (BECAUSE I’M NO FUN, OK? I’M A FUCKING DUD. GAMES? EW!)  But I RSVPd because even though it’s always a drag for me to leave the house right after work, it always ends up being worth it once I get there.

And I’m glad I went because our newest department member, Lara, came and it was really wonderful getting to meet her IRL rather than just awkwardly introducing myself on a video call, and you know how I hate those video calls!!

I think there were around 15 of us. Sue gave us 2 drink tickets each to start and there was some food as well. Henry begged (I MEAN, BEGGED) Margie at Chingumas to let him come because he is desperate to be a part of our department. It was actually embarrassing. He drove me there last night and then sat at one of the bars, crying into his wings, until Sue was like, “OMG tell Henry to come join us” WHICH IS JUST WHAT HE WANTED, UGH. So then I had to go and find the little golden boy and tell him that he was allowed to crash our party. He giddily sat down next to Sue, what a suck up.

There were extra drink tickets and I was like, “OOH I SHOULD HAVE ANOTHER DRINK” to which Henry quickly intervened because after two glasses of what I’m sure was super high quality pinot grigio because Dave & Busters, I was half-hammered. Maybe fully hammered. I’m actually embarrassed thinking about it because I know I was being annoying (I can’t hold my liquor) and also every single picture from last night makes me look like a fucking glassy-eyed wino.

Forced Todd into my selfie-web, and he was stoked – can you tell?

Margie and me! Shout out to Margie for helping Sue arrange everything!

WHAT WAS RACHEL CALCULATING?? Also, she is currently going through the college application drama with her TWINS so I can’t even imagine her stress levels knowing how stressed I am doing this with just one kid. We spent a good portion of the night commiserating over that and I gotta say, it was good to have someone to vent with.

Nate and Eric (who also joined us as an honorary department member for the night!) looking super intense.

Nate and #UghLou

5 hours late with this BeReal but I’m glad I remembered to do it while I was actually out of the house and with a table full of good people!

Megan has a selfie ring light for her phone that some of us were coveting, so today she sent the link for it in our group text and an hour later, Henry goes, “‘Your package is arriving on Monday’ – what package?” LOL.

We were totally in everyone’s way. People were there to play games and I’m like, “No it’s selfie time, guys.”

Ugh, you know I’m drunk when I do the huge open-mouth pose in every picture. Is it better or worse that I at least know I’m annoying?

I’m pretty sure Todd was like, “OK I’m leaving” after this because he signed up for food, drinks, and games, not posing for selfies like he’s out with so bunch of sorority girls.

I do love this one so much though!

My favorite part of the night was near the end when the last ones standing (me, Nate, Amber, Lori, Maggie, Lou and Henry) were LOAFING over by the prize room thing, being jealous and also appalled that not one but TWO people had earned enough points to snag the Ramen pillow AND the giant pickle plush.

“Where do people even PUT things like this in their house?” Amber mused.

“You’re asking the wrong person!” I said, and Lori and Maggie started cackling.

“Yeah, you’d redesign an entire room for something in there!” Maggie exclaimed.

Totally could see myself demanding Henry build an altar for a giant plush Dave & Busters pickle. It would match my new clown buffet!!!

Anyway, what a great night with great people. I’m really glad that some of us make an effort to get together and keep the work relationships alive now that we’re all remote. It’s so important, especially since now we have so many people who were hired virtually during the pandemic. For instance, our newer Support person, Wendi is someone that started during that time but she has come into the office for various casual lunches and other after-work social events and she has quickly become one of my favorite people there.

I don’t know if you can tell, but I have been so sentimental about work stuff lately. Sigh.