I’m off work today and this time I planned ahead by asking my friend Kristy if she wanted to meet up at some point and as luck would have it, she was free this morning!

We met at the new Asian bakery/cafe called Ope Fe on the Southside. I have been seeing a lot of mixed reviews for this place but you guys, croissant couches. Still, I was game when Kristy suggested it because I love Asian baked goods and this was on my radar.

Kristy writes for Pittsburgh Magazine so she was able to use this as a working coffee date and then it got even cooler because after we made the plans, she also had the opportunity to interview one of the cast members of the new Friday the 13th prequel series Crystal Lake – Joy Suprano. I was so excited to watch Kristy work!

Some thoughts on the vibes: The first room has all of the food (it’s a “take a  tray and tongs” set-up) and there is food everywhere. I didn’t know where to go first! Honestly, there were too many choices and decision fatigue came on fast and strong. I ended up just grabbing two things without any real conviction. But honestly – I’m a sweets bitch and sugar is sugar. It’s the savory stuff that leaves me with less wiggle room (none of it left me with any wiggle room left in my pants afterward though, if you know what I mean).

golden layers, perfect moments

I got a matcha cream donut and whatever that sugary toast is next to it, which was pretty good just hard to eat because the edges were really hard. I thought it was honey toast but I guess I grabbed the wrong thing because whatever that red jam-looking stuff is was not the honey of this world. I thought it was perfectly fine though–I didn’t roll my eyes back or anything but it was good. And the donut, which I brought home with me because the sugar rush of that toast and the Vietnamese latte with black sesame foam had me starting to shake, tasted exactly as I expected it to. It was decent.

It just wasn’t a very cozy place. It was definitely an influencer’s paradise though–pretty pastries and croissant walls? You know they’re lowkey highkey here for it.

DON’T WORRY I also took a picture of Kristy using that damn Movements disposable camera too.

It was so nice getting to spend a random Thursday morning with Kristy, and getting to observe her in action while she interviewed Joy, who BTW was so down-to-earth and charismatic. My Halloween Weekend plans, aside from squeezing in more haunted houses, is definitely bingeing Crystal Lake! I’m actually disappointed in myself for not having already watched it but I have TV-burnout right now because we were watching From and I was moderately into it at first but now as soon as Henry puts it on, I start playing Mahjong on my phone. I just can’t with the cringey acting. So hopefully this show will restore my faith in TV (plus, it’s A24 so come on, it has to be good). Just listening to Kristy (who is THE biggest horror fan I know) and Joy fangirl over the Jasonverse made me so inspired—the Friday the 13th franchise was a Kelly Family Favorite, and Chooch also was really into it from a young (maybe too young LOL) age and I found myself getting really emotional listening to Joy talk about the love and care that was put into the production of this series.

Oh! And Kristy gave me one of her handmade peg dolls – a pocket reaper!

I’m back in that familiar PTO crunch time zone, where I have a bunch of unused time to USE IT OR LOSE IT so I’m taking off random days where I have nothing planned and you know I can’t handle staycations. I NEED to be doing something, going somewhere, not being home alone. I am home alone every day!!

I had last Thursday off and decided that I would take the T downtown and…I dunno, find SOMETHING to do. There was ONE THING I had my heart set on though: a black and white smoothie at James Cafe in the Strip. (Tahini and dates, yes please!) I figured I would I’d get off at Wood Street and go from there. We all know I’m a walker.

Part 2 of my plan was that Henry would meet me down there after work and we’d go to Church Brew Works so I could get a stamp in my stupid book that I am determined to complete even though one brewery is now shuttered (and I don’t have the stamp!!) and new ones have been added since I bought the physical copy. Why am I like this?? I was on a “no beer” kick and then the siren call of that stupid brewery passport lured me back in. Just call me Oh Hypocrite Erin from now on.

I left the house around 11:30 I think? Brought a book with me and headphones so I could also listen to an audiobook too which was dumb because I literally cannot walk around downtown without full senses activated.

I hadn’t even made it to the T station yet when my first ordeal occurred. I had stopped briefly, in tandem with a bow-tied man, to look into the windows of a COMING SOON ice cream shop.  He noticed me also nebbing and made some comment about “I’ve been waiting so long for it to open” to which I was like, “I know, right” which is one of several factory-programmed default canned responses when you pull my string, along with “Oh, really?” and “Wow.”

Maybe I should flip the dial to another language to change shit up. “Majayo. Jjinja??? Wa.”

That was Korean. I don’t know any others. LOL.

Anyway, brother bowtie ended up chatting with me for a solid 15 minutes. We had to move over so that we weren’t blocking the sidewalk from other pedestrians, THAT’S HOW DEEP IT WAS. Well, actually, it was only him talking. I just stood there and nodded, spat out some filler words which is where I excel, and asked a few follow-up questions because sometimes it’s like I’m using uncomfortable small talk as penance.

Truly though, this couldn’t even be classified as small talk because I learned that he used to sell cookies in Maine while wearing a three piece suit and a Cookie monster head and this was how his bowtie collection started because a local tie company started trading him bowties for cookies, he has over 300+ ties in his closet, he is from Akron but moved to Pittsburgh for college, then ended up going to college in NC where he met THE DEMON who looked like Pink but with silver hair and within two days they were engaged and then somehow married for 8 years, 20 years ago when he went for a spinal tap which would result in an MS diagnosis :( she started a huge fight with him over a book he was writing about all of the kisses he’s had and he ended up going back to work afterward because it was less uncomfortable than being at home with her but don’t worry because he’s married to someone much nicer now.

That is a summarization of our convo–I learned all of this and then some and all he learned about me was my name.

And he told me some jokes too. He sells jokes for 25 cents (or 3 for a dollar but most people don’t get that joke) at various street fairs around the city and he gave me his business card with his number that I can text for more jokes.

Truly a nice guy. Very sweet. Probably spectrum-y. I wasn’t running on a fixed schedule so it didn’t really bother me to stop and talk but it gave me a lot to think about when I eventually made it on the T (AFTER FAILING TO SCAN THE STUPID BARCODE ON THE APP WITHOUT THE AID OF A YOUNG GUY BECAUSE I AM SO USED TO THE OLD CONNECT CARDS AND APPARENTLY IN THE SEASON OF LIFE WHERE ANY CHANGE IN TECHNOLOGY KNOCKS ME OFF MY AXIS). Like, how I cannot sustain small talk. This was fine because bro wasn’t giving me any space at all to contribute but in situations where there should be a casual back and forth, I usually word-vomit a chunk of stutters or sentence fragments and then proceed to spend the next 4 days replaying it over and over in my head until it starts to sound like a backward record but instead of something cool and Satanic it’s more like, “YOU WILL DIE FRIENDLESS” and “YOU ARE SO FUCKING PATHETICALLY AWKWARD.”

We are working on this in therapy lol. Apparently, I have “parts” that are trying to protect me. Like when I recently ran into someone from the past and was nearly shot out of a chair cannon at the sound of their laugh and thought, “Shit, I forgot about that laugh” and realized that my brain had blocked it out in order to protect me, which is a really nice thing when you think about it.

A N Y W A Y.

I tried to read some of my book on the T but then the man behind me chose that exact moment to take a phone call.

Got downtown. Went to this cute shop I’ve been following for years on Instagram called Silly Goose – the OG location is in Jim Thorpe, PA which looks like the coziest town and I want to go there, but now we have a location in Pittsburgh! That shop is dangerous for someone like me. I got some journaling things and Jenny Lemons (my fave!) hair clips. I also hit the tip option when checking out because I’m so used to tipping the merch guys at concerts and servers at restaurants BUT EXCUSE ME why is the tip screen coming up at retail places now!?!? UGH. I mean, the cashier was cute but she did not nothing to warrant a 15% tip for fuck’s sake.

So I was mad about that but whatever. I walked it off.

Went to the new-ish area called Arts Landing and tried to read my book there but there were TOURISTs skulking about and then the CAPA kids across the street were on the roof of their school screaming bloody murder, like maybe they were rehearsing from epic slasher school musical but hello, why are teenagers running around on a rooftop, seems dangerous!?

I checked the time and it was nearly 2PM. James Cafe closes at 3PM (or 4PM?) so I figured I would start walking there to be safe. The walk was pretty uneventful which is a good thing in that area.

I got to James Cafe and ordered the black and white smoothie with my full chest only for the barista to be like, “SRY KITCHEN CLOSED” and of course I looked up and saw that I was standing right in front of the KITCHEN IS CLOSED sign.

COOL.

That was going to be MY LUNCH but sure, just give me a matcha.

While he was making that, I saw that there was a cranberry orange scone in the bakery case so I asked for it. Well silly me I guess that was just for show because he was like LET ME SEE WHAT WE STILL HAVE and started flipping open these giant bakery boxes from Mediterra and said they only had cinnamon buns and almond croissants so I was like, “I WILL TAKE A CROISSANT” because I was starting to feel shaky. He gave it to me in a box so I was like COOL I GUESS I WON’T BE EATING THIS IN HERE THEN THANKS” even though there were two young women literally sprawled out on a banquette with their laptops so I KNOW THEY WEREN’T CLOSING.

I know, I could have still just sat down in there and ate it but now I was just angry and indignant and reading way more into this than any normal person would have (“I GUESS I AM NOT WELCOME HERE”) when in reality, the guy was actually very nice—it wasn’t a bad interaction by any means but I was IN A MOOD and NOT GETTING WHAT I WANTED.

WAH.

I went outside and decided to just sit at one of the sidewalk tables and eat the croissant but it was MESSY and I didn’t want to go back inside for a napkin so I called Henry in a huff and told him, “JUST COME GET ME NOW.”

Then I sat back in the chair to try to read my book AND I BROKE THE FUCKING BACK OF THE CHAIR. It was all rusted and I didn’t realize it and nearly broke all of the way off so I had to sit leaning forward. Still tried to read my book but there two MEN sitting at the next table, not even all that close to me, stinking up the sidewalk with their mansplaining that all I could focus on at that point was how men ruin everything.

Then dumbo Henry arrived. I asked him if I looked pissed when he saw me sitting there and he said, after thinking about it for a beat, “No…just dejected.”

LOL yes, that is how I felt.

So now I was mad because it wasn’t even 3PM yet and Church Brew Works didn’t open until 4PM plus I WAS FUCKING HUNGRY AND NEEDED FOOD. Trust that I made the next 15 minutes of Henry’s life very volatile and difficult with my “nothing is what I want” attitude.

Hello everyone, it’s Stubborn Suggestion Rejection time!

Finally, I agreed to Coughlin’s because:

1. they were open
2. it was close-ish
3. I could get a stamp

And it was a great choice because even though the food was mid, I had a pumpkin ale that I actually REALLY super deluxe enjoyed. I mean, the cinnamon rim probably helped a lot.  I thought the day was picking up BUT THEN I GOT KETCHUP ON MY SLEEVE!!!!!!!!

At least I didn’t have any of the veggie pizza that Henry ordered which came with a complimentary chunk of ham.

Well,  that was my day off. Better than staying home and sitting in front of the computer, I guess.

(I did end up finishing that book though and it was such a five-star read which wasn’t shocking considering that it was written by GEOFF RICKLY from Thursday.)

A while back, Kara posted to her IG story about wanting someone to go with her to this breakfast place and I was like, “ME, PICK ME!” I texted her last week to see if she still wanted to make this happen and she was like YES so we settled on last Sunday morning.

Then she texted me Saturday night and was like, “….which Nook are we going to?”

I know she must have posted the full name of the place but I latched on to just part of it: Nook. So when I had asked her if she still wanted to go, I ONLY referred to the place as the Nook.

Well, Kara was talking about Jenny Lee’s Breakfast Nook and I was talking about the Nook. Two completely different places on opposite ends of town. Literally one isn’t even in Pittsburgh. I am so freaking glad she texted me because I was fully prepared to fight the brunch bitches in Lawrenceville instead of enjoying  a very calm and relaxing NO CROWD atmosphere at Jenny Lee’s in Moon.

PHEW.

Kara and I both got the special: pumpkin pie French toast. Bro, worth the confused texting flurry the night before (there was FURTHER confusion when there was misleading information online about Jenny Lee’s hours and for a while we thought they weren’t open on Sundays and were going to go to the other Nook after all (which I truly didn’t want to do now that I knew there was an opportunity to avoid Lawrenceville). I think it was after 11PM by the time we finalized plans once and for all.

(Sorry I made this such a cluster, LOL!)

As a bonus, they have a band that plays on Sundays called Accordions Likely! Their manager walked around passing out business cards and said that they also take requests. I so badly wanted to see if they could play SECRET AGENT MAN since the idiot local cover band at the church carnival across the street didn’t play it this year and I guess I am subconsciously craving it because it was literally the first song I thought of when I heard the magic word “request.”

Anyway, it was a great start to Sunday and had even stopped raining by the time we left (it was POURING on the way there)! I think this might be a new record for Kara&Erin hang outs: TWICE IN ONE WEEK!

Later that night, Henry and I went to Demon House which OF COURSE I will save the details for my haunted house journal but here are some photos!

Waiting for the shuttle.

On the shuttle.

Freddy V. Jason was playing on the outdoor movie screen – this is one of my favorite things about Demon House (well, perhaps my only favorite thing because this haunt is usually not that great BUT they always have Groupons so that’s the only reason we still go).

Now please enjoy a series I call, “Bought the Charmera in May, Still Don’t Know Where to Aim for Selfies, OK?”:

Luckily, I took one with my phone just in case LOL:

Well, that’s all I got for that. Except that I used Kara in my emotional manipulation of Chooch! I forgot about that. So, I have been trying for mths to get him to listen to the latest Hayley Williams album but he is being such a bitch about it because it has to be something he wants to do organically, on his own, without being told. So I was like, “I told Kara that you won’t listen to it and she was like ‘Wow, I thought he had good taste in music but I guess I was wrong’ and I was like ‘Yeah I know right, he’s so lame now’.”

All he said to that was, “Wow. I’m not in the mood to listen to Haley [sic] William” and I feel like he PURPOSELY SPELLED HER NAME WRONG TO PISS ME OFF FURTHER!!!!

Last Saturday, we went to our favorite place—Glitterbox!—for a Halloween comedy show. We knew nothing about it except that there would be a drag performance by a clown and Halloween-themed vendors. Sold!

The City Paper said about it: You’re in for spine-tingling sketches, doomed drag performances with Borfungus, ill-fated improv with Ready or Not and N’at 20, and conniving clowns led by the shocking Sara Kantner at Let’s Laugh At Halloween. Our surrealist “horror” comedy variety show is certain to be a wild and wacky onstage adventure. 

As usual, we walked into chaos which is part of what I love about this place. You always end up feeling like you’re a part of the show, even before it starts, lol. We went back outside to sit and give them space but then one of the performers who was playing double duty as box office gal was walking by to go back inside and told us that we could 1000% go inside and that she wasn’t going to let us sit in the rain. She was so amazing (AND DRESSED AS THE LOG LADY). She also ended up being one of my favorite performers of the night too. Her name is Sara(h?), in case I ever need to know this in the future.

Before the show started, we ran into our old friend Patty and her friend Alayna who, and I didn’t say this out loud because I have a way of making the most innocuous comments sound laced with date rape, has the prettiest hair and skin. SEE? Imagine me saying that to a near-stranger in a community theater marked as a SAFE SPACE. She was also wearing this beautiful and subtle green eye shadow that looked amazing on her when it would have been garish AF on me.

Also, I bought the cutest bookmark and keychain from one of the vendors  (Seawitch Wares) who posted this video before the event started and you can see me chatting with Patty and Henry sitting alone being completely unbothered.

We ended up moving to the front row to sit with Patty and Alayna. Per Alayna’s pro tip, I also bought a few 25 cent tiny zines from one of the vendors in order to snag a free pumpkin cookie (it was the slice and bake kind which I love, so nostalgic!).

OK, the show was fucking funny from start to finish. It was all improv and brilliant.

There were different improv groups that came out several times to do different audience participation skits and it always amazed me how fast their minds have to work. I can write (when pressed—I know what you’re thinking, “but your blog is….not funny??” WELL, IT USED TO BE!!) but no way could I react that snappily to crowd-supplied prompts. My favorite was one of their skits, they asked the audience to give them a creepy location and IMMEDIATELY someone in the back shouted, “FAKE BURGER KING!!!” which had us a DYING. If you’re not from Pittsburgh and thinking, ‘tf is a fake Burger King??” it’s a whole fucking local lore that will be passed on for generations to come.

My favorite Log Lady <3 Not only was she so sweet us at the door but she also has impeccable comedic timing. Loved her role in this D&D-inspired skit! Also, guy on the right (also hilarious) was wearing a Hakugei t-shirt and if you don’t know (because why would you) that is an RMC roller coaster in Japan and on my bucketlist even though I have been strongly considering turning in my thoosie card what with the state of theme parks in general PLUS this past week’s Six Flags tragedy. I think I’m over it, you guys. But I was still excited to see this shirt out in the wild and anyone wearing a Japanse roller coaster t-shirt has got to be a thoosie. I wanted to talk to him but then I remembered that my social interactions generally bomb so I did not.

OMG we had an Agent Dale Cooper MC for the evening and she was so deadpan and hilarious. She spent the whole. night looking for her pants and it was a whole thing BUT YOU HAD TO BE. THERE.

“Hungry Like the Wolf” drag performance by Borfungus! (Azizzy is still my favorite though and I wish. they had been there! BUT they are likely busy preparing for their upcoming role in Speed the Musical and yes, we have tickets LOL, fear not.)

Intermission cherry pie!

More Borfungus!

OK this was hands down my favorite part of the night. Sara Kantner (who also teaches clown classes!) led a performance called the Bone Yard and…and….there are no words. I laughed so hard that I legit was wiping away tears!

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It was one of those things that I immediately wanted to scream about the rooftops but knew I could never come up with the words to do it justice. It was the most absurd, chaotic, and off-the-wall clowning/improv bit I have ever seen and it was perfectly tailored for people like me. It felt like someone was pulling this straight out of my brain. I WAS SO INTO IT. It was also Henry’s favorite part of the night!

And then this whole local news skit was so funny too!

Random bone on the floor, lol.

Anyway, it was another hilarious and wonderfully weird evening hosted by GBX. It’s always a good time there!

Ahhh, last Friday night was so good. SO GOOD.

One of the highlights from Riot Fest for us both was Greet Death. It was our first time seeing them and we both (!!!) fell for them hard. Well, Henry probably wouldn’t phrase it the same way as me. He’d probably say, “I saw them. I liked them.”

So when we saw that they were coming to Pittsburgh, opening for AJJ, I was adamant on going. This was a non-negotiable item on the October agenda.

A few days beforehand, Henry casually asked, “Hey, before the show on Friday, do you want to go to Lolev—-”

“YES!” I cried before his question had a chance to finish pushing its way past the bristles of his moustache. Lolev is MY FAVORITE and I will never say NO.

Lolev is one of the only places I will get a Big Boy beer because I know I will like it.

I love this little table!!

After a cozy hour at Lolev with no annoyances, we walked to Spirit and got there right as doors were opening. This is kind of a new scene for us so I immediately clocked the crowd and noted that they were probably median late 20s to mid 30s so as usual I was still on the older side, UGH. Also, I didn’t get the memo that the color of the night was BROWN and OLIVE and TAN.

I never fit in anywhere I go but that’s OK. At least I’m not Henry and being mistaken for security at every show.

Seriously. Also, I bring him so he can carry my merch.

Greet Death was 10/10, better inside than outside at Riot Fest (and they were INCREDIBLE at Riot Fest!), moody, electric, shoe-gazey, flawless and haunting vocals that got under my skin. I think Henry will agree with all of this and that they’re our current obsession.

Also, the crowd was into it while still being chill. I liked the crowd. Usually there is that ONE PERSON but not on this night.

Originally, we were going to just stick around for a few minutes of AJJ but honestly, the vibes were so good overall that we stayed for the whole show and it was the right choice. Spirit is such a good venue with amazing pizza, so after Greet Death, we moved all the way to the back by the bar and ate some pizza at a standing table.

We like each other these days. It’s nice, lol.

Henry was like, “YAY! WE CAN STAND IN THE BACK! LET’S GOOOO!” Usually I will go into shows saying, “I don’t need to be close, we can chill in the back” but then I get there and I’m like “barricade or GTFO.” But I was happy to be close for Greet Death and then let the AJJ fans take my spot near the stage.

It’s been a while since I went to a show where I was only moderately familiar with the headliner so it was nice to enjoy the music while people-watching for once.

AND DID I MENTION THE PIZZA. Yes, I know I did, and now I’m mentioning it again because Spirit really nails it on the pizza front.

Then I basically spent the rest of the night taking pictures of the disco ball and observing the couple in front of us who were super PDA and then suddenly started fighting and the woman portion of the duo went and sulked against a wall. I literally could NOT imagine what initiated this because they were totally in love one second, and then she got excited when AJJ announced that they were singing the third song in a love song trilogy about wanting to be a dog and she was like “yay” and started singing it and then looked at him and he didn’t do something or DID do something, I don’t know, but her faced IMMEDIATELY morphed into a dark and scowling landscape and then he took two giant steps away from her?? And then he turned and walked FULLY away from her?

I kind of wish I was the type of blatant Nebby Debby that has the audacity to pry into a stranger’s life. You know, just sidle up next to some rando’ like, “‘sup, I couldn’t help but notice….” Speaking of Debby, my actual friend Debby would probably have no problem whatsoever doing that.

Also speaking of, this reminds me of a Reel I just saw where some lady was recalling her recent BAD HAIRCUT where she went to a new stylist and they were making small talk and the stylist asked her what she was doing later that night and she was like, “My husband is making dinner for me” and the stylist was like, “Oh that’s nice” so she asked the stylist if she has a partner, just trying to keep the small talk going, and the stylist was like, ‘No I’m divorced actually” and the lady was like, “Oh OK how long have you been divorced?” and the stylist snapped, “I don’t think that’s any of your business” and then proceeded to give her a shitty haircut and then BEFORE SHE COULD FIX IT she said, “Actually, I don’t think I can finish this and I think you should leave.”

WHAT THE ACTUAL…

It was such a wild ride.

But yeah, I feel like that’s what would happen to me if I tried to make small talk.

A N Y W A Y.

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After the show, we waited for the crowd to clear out and then we got in line for more merch. I wanted to buy one of their records along with a t-shirt when we first got there but PAPA H was like, “JUST GET THE SHIRT NOW, I AM NOT CARRYING A RECORD AROUND ALL NIGHT.” Ugh.

So, we buy the record and I felt inspired to tell the drummer / merch guy that we had just seen them at Riot Fest and of course I stuttered when saying it even though I rehearsed it in my head while in line, because my nervous adrenaline turns my tongue into a fucking mattress company balloon guy.

He was super nice though and matched my nervous energy, honestly. We started to leave and Henry was like, “YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED THEM TO SIGN IT” because one of the singers was also in the room talking to someone. I considered it and then decided against it. I wasn’t in a talky mood and that takes ENERGY from me.

Henry got super crazy about it though and grabbed the record from me. “I’LL DO IT THEN!” he said, marching back to the merch table. This is what happens when Henry and I now share a band, I guess.

The drummer (Jim) was super nice and brought out a silver Sharpie. I was satisfied with just the one signature but then Henry goes, “THE OTHER GUY WAS JUST HERE,” and Jim goes, “Oh he’ll be back! He went to get some t-shirt boxes.”

THE OTHER GUY?!!? He was referring to the guitarist, Eric. It was just a Henry thing to say though.

We just stood there awkwardly and one of the security ladies was like, “DO YOU GUYS NEED SOMETHING???” because she CLEARLY wanted everyone out so she could leave. Henry was like, “WE ARE WAITING FOR SOMEONE” like we’re fucking VIPs or something, but I got super nervous about this and hissed, “I’M LEAVING!” to him. I don’t know, there was a vibe shift and I felt super uncomfortable standing there.

On my way out, one of the singers, Harper, was coming in with her suitcase so I was like, “Oh great, Henry is going to accost her next,” so I hurried up and left.

I was outside in the cold for about 10 minutes, imagining so many scenarios of Henry being in the way, saying weird things, etc. when HE CAME OUT WITH HARPER. He looked at me, smiled, and motioned for me to follow them.

“Are you with him? I’m Harper!” she said, and Henry looked SO SMUG. She was taking us on a wild goose chase to find the remaining two members of her band so Henry could get AUTOGRAPH COMPLETION.

HE IS ACTUALLY SO EMBARRASSING.

Harper—still rolling her suitcase with her!!!—led us into the lower level of Spirit, where Logan and Seth were finishing up their drinks at a booth in the restaurant. She told them we saw them at Riot Fest and that we were trying to get everyone to sign the record, then she realized she left the Sharpie upstairs at the merch table and left us to stand there awkwardly with them and I wanted to die. I don’t know what my problem is—all of these years doing this shit and I still have the hardest time conversing with bands. I know, I know, they’re just people! I’m people! He’s people! She’s people! We’re people! But I just turn into this basic cardboard cut-out of myself and say the most obvious things.

We did talk about Riot Fest a little bit at least so there was that.

Then Harper returned (oh btw Henry was excited to tell me that when they introduced themselves, she said, “Oh! We’re the Hs!” So he probably wrote about that in his secret diary later that night—OH SNAP THIS WOULD HAVE MADE SUCH A GREAT MEHOOVER LIVEJOURNAL POST!!) with the Sharpie, we collected the last 2 signatures, I apologized for the hassle (of course they said, ‘Oh no, no hassle!’ but bro, I hate bothering people especially when some of them are trying to enjoy a post-show drink and others are literally dragging a suitcase around preparing to leave for the next destination.

Super appreciative that they were all so kind and I really love their music SO MUCH so even though Henry made this such an ordeal, I guess I’m glad he wearing his Ambitious pants that night because now this record is that much more special.

Oh! And Harper talked to us about the Penguins because she was watching the game and said we lost in a shootout which I didn’t even know because I deleted the app to make room on my phone, and she also said her girlfriend is an Avalanche fan and I feel like I will now associate the Avalanche with Greet Death forever because that is how my brain works.

Hopefully Chooch cherishes this one day when he inherits it.

Yeah, go listen to Greet Death, you guys! I can’t wait to see them again (and NOT hassle them!).

I was having big GBX withdrawals after having not attended ONE SINGLE EVENT THERE this month, can you even imagine the horrors? The devastation?! Luckily, there was a matinee for their 41st 10 Minute Plays event which apparently is their bread and butter. They do it twice a year and I can’t believe that Glitterbox has been around for as long as Chooch has been alive and I had no idea it existed until like….2 or 3 years ago??? 

Shawn and Jess wanted to join us for this one so I was even more stoked! 

When we first got there, we saw Azizzy and their partner Sienna (who write one of the plays and starred in it with Azizzy!) in the lot outside of the theater and they acknowledged me! Henry was like, “Happy now?” Actually, Henry, yes I am. I always feel like I blend into the background so anytime someone is like, “yes, I remember you!” I feel—excuse me—seen. Even Sienna looked like they knew who I was! Can you tell me I am so pressed for social interaction? 

You know what I think it is? Years ago, I was Facebook friends with a bunch of people from the Pittsburgh horror and zombie community and we’d interact and whatever you would do on Facebook (poke each other—is that still a thing? I’m going on 10 years with no Facebook, you guys) but then when I would see them at events, I’d try to say hi and they would look right through me. THE WEIRDEST FUCKING THING EVER. Is everyone face blind??

And then we went inside and Steven was working the box office and looked up at us and said, “Oh hey, I know you guys!” and it took everything I had inside me to wait until we found a seat before I squealed into Henry’s shoulder. 

All of a sudden people are remembering me  and I am so blessed. 

Henry just said, “Maybe it’s because you’re not meeting incels anymore,” AND PEOPLE, I THINK HE MIGHT BE ON TO SOMETHING THERE, LOL. 

I was so excited to see that it was about to be a full house for this thing! I grabbed a row of 4 seats in the risers so we could see better (also because I’ve never sat up there and wanted to because I’m a child).

Here’s the program!! 

Guys, have you ever heard of a Crankie?? None of us had that night and it was so cool. You can see some cool examples of crankies here. I’m currently obsessed with getting Henry to make me one that has a G-Dragon fairy tale in it. 

There were two Crankie performances last night and they were both very powerful but the second one, the audience was encouraged to sing along (I did not because I am awful at sing-alongs) and it was SO BEAUTIFUL AND MOVING being in a room of people singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World. I cried during both Crankies. Apparently there is a whole ass festival for these things at some church and I want to go. Henry can bring the one he makes for me. 

I liked that Henry and I were kind of color-coordinated. I don’t know where that green shirt came from, it’s a new hue for his sterile color palette. 

Dirk Turkler was a GREAT MC! 

I swear I never laugh as hard as I do in this room. 

SPLISH SPLASH!

This one was called “More!” and it was BRILLIANT. I fell in love with Potato that evening. (They were also a contestant on the game show!) It was a musical about how people have ruined earth but done in a way that was cute and funny if you didn’t really think about the message, which was super depressing LOL.

I loved EVERY PERFORMANCE (even Henry was enthusiastic about it on the way home and said, “I liked everything!” The GBX is really changing both of us for the better, you guys, I love this transformation). It was so varied – some were serious (Dark – it made me so anxious and it was also performed in complete darkness), a lot were just so irreverent and hilarious, like Splish Splash and the 69 Church one — “Dirk” announced this one and right before he left the stage, he turned around and said, “THAT’S the sex number” and it was so stupid but I was like HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA because that is how I laugh at GBX and I know this might sound weird, but there are some of the BEST laughers that attend GBX events?!?! I hate saying you’d have to be there, but honestly, you would have to be there to hear it. Actual cackle contagion up in there.  There was a game show interlude where Azizzy came out as a new character – Professthor Worm (Jess said that she is now on the Azizzy bandwagon after this one and I was like RIGHT????)

I don’t have any photos of this but there was one called “People I Saw Tomorrow But Not Today” by Dan Ivec that was so completely, understatedly, subtly HYSTERICAL. He stood there as his art was projected on a screen and literally just described what he saw which sounds dumb when I read those words back but it was absolutely BRILLIANT and his delivery was so perfectly droll and calm, like a science teacher, that it just added to the idiocy of it all. Henry and I were wondering if he was going off the cuff, because it really seemed like he was just effortlessly pulling this dialogue out of his ass and I mean that in the highest complimentary way. I’m pretty sure he’s a genius and I’m obsessed. 

I just love the experiences that this theater and all of these brilliant minds provide to us. It is humbling, really, to watch such varied and eclectic art on display. 

We went to Red Robin for a late dinner afterward with Jess and Shawn and it was so much fun to dissect and analyze everything we saw. I’m so happy that they joined us for this! MAYBE FOR THE 42ND, THE FOUR OF US CAN PERFORM OUR OWN 10 MINUTE PLAY!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!!?!!?!?!?!?!?

“What kind of bands are these, now?” Henry deigned to ask when we were on our way to Mr. Roboto for that night’s Casa San Jose fundraiser show. It’s almost like he’s  afraid to ask so he just waits until the last possible minute.

I was only able to find stuff from 90 Seconds til Midnight and The Give & Take online, but I liked what I heard and knew that Henry wouldn’t object to any of it once it started. But, Brenda…when we got there, one of the bands was sound-checking to an empty room. It was 7:30 at that point.

And it was just us and the sound guy in there. We sat down on a bench against the wall and I immediately felt so awkward. But then another person arrived!

And it turns out he was the friend/photographer of the first performer and would end up leaving right after that. But it was still nice to have someone sitting next to us so we looked less fish out of water.

Eventually, 4 girls and a guy came from the back of the venue so I was like, “Oh thank god, people were just chilling out there until now,” and felt less cooked. UNTIL I QUICKLY REALIZED THAT THEY WERE ALL FRIENDS / GIRLFRIENDS OF 90 SECONDS TIL MIDNIGHT.

It was almost 8pm at this point and nothing was happening except for the band fucking around on stage and getting photos taken. So I joined in with the photo taking session.

“Where are the other people?” Henry hissed uncomfortably.

This was around the point where I admitted to Henry that when the ticket guy was checking us off the list, I glanced at what appeared to be only 4 names on it but I didn’t want to say anything because THIS HAD JUST HAPPENED TO US earlier that week at another event — why do I keep choosing these random events that no one knows about?!

Really definitely 100% positively not fitting in at all but still being so happy to be there LOL. (Well, one of us was happy to be there. Henry is wearing his, “Why do you keep doing this to me?” face.)

Henry being like, “WHAT EXACTLY IS THIS THAT WE’RE HERE FOR AGAIN?”

Soundcheck photoshoot.

My aunt Susie also loves shelties and had two of them when I was a teenage: Coco and Pebbles! She had Coco first and when she got the second one and asked for name suggestions, I said, “Pebbles!” and was only moderately joking, but she liked it and kept it! And that has been the story about my aunt and her Shelties.

Eventually, The Give and Take arrived and mentioned something about car issues. I really enjoyed their set, but it was just me, 90 Seconds + their entourage, and the Give and Take’s photographer that were standing in front of the stage. Henry was like, “I’mma stay sat for this” and there were two youngish girls also sitting down as well. Plus some tall random guy who was giving me The Crow vibes kind of but in a 2026 sense. I can’t explain it.

After The Give & Take, the Crow guy got on stage!!! I had no idea he was one of the performers.

Um…

I don’t know what to say about his set aside from that it was pretty uncomfortable to watch. He rode the backing track like a life boat through the entirety of the first song and then afterward said his live vocals don’t do it justice. I was fighting for my life to hold it together, Steve. There was no one blocking me from his sight—it was still just me, the other band and their small entourage.

I was trying not to film or take pictures of him because I could feel the girlfriends of the other band side-eying me, not in a catty way, but like they were genuinely wondering why I was there. Like, “someone bought tickets to this show, holy shit?!” and I didn’t want it to look like I was making fun of this guy who they were all clearly bros with. He seemed troubled, to say the least, and after the first song, he launched into a 4 minute monologue about how he suddenly fell ill last summer out of nowhere, flu-like symptoms, bad headaches, no one could figure it out.

Eventually, he found out he had Lyme disease and now part of his face is partially paralyzed.

Afterward, Henry was like, “Who was that story for, if everyone else there knew him? Was that story just for us?!”

Maybe?!

Then he said he has been compared to MGK but that he doesn’t need to copy him or anyone else because he’s 24 and has “lived a life.”

Oh Francis, I was screaming on the inside. I had to grab my sides with curled fingers because sometimes inflicting pain upon myself is the only way to curb the chuckles. It was like being in church again.

I just filmed a short snippet but honestly, props for this guy for having it in him to get up there on a stage and he did have some good beats. It just wasn’t for me, no hate.

Henry remained seated during this set and was actually hunched forward with his head in his hands for most of it but he sat up as soon as I snapped this. There was one teenage girl remaining and she was also sitting in the same position. I think she left before it was over though.

The one nice thing about the evening was that each band got on stage immediately after the last one so there was little to no down time. Whoever the next band was on the flyer, they weren’t there that night, so after Skyrah was done doing the mashed potato on stage, 90 Seconds Til Midnight came on. You guys, I liked them! They were energetic and fun. They had some covers but their original songs were what I liked the most.

Henry actually stood with me for this, amazing, what energy, give this guy a participation trophy.

In between songs, the singer goes, “I know pretty much everyone in this room. I know you, and you, and you….I don’t know YOU guys though, nice to meet you.”

So I WAVED TO HIM AND YELLED, “Hello!” like a FUCKING SOCCER MOM WAVING TO HER KID ON THE FIELD I AM SUCH A FUCKING DORK.

And when that happened, EVERYONE TURNED AND LOOKED AT US. It was so embarrassing but also one of the funniest things that has ever happened to me at a show and I was squealing, trying to keep it together. It was all I could do not to immediately text Chooch and tell him. (Don’t worry, I spammed the fuck out him afterward and he was like WTF WHERE EVEN WERE YOU.

Like, “why can’t you just stay home and knit like other moms!?” Lol!

I sincerely can’t remember the last time I felt this much of a DORK ALERT at a show or anywhere in public for that matter. I mean, I was wearing jeans and an old t-shirt from my brother Ryan’s pee wee soccer team (yes, I stuff myself into Youth t-shirts, is that a crime) yet somehow I felt like I looked to them like I had just popped in on the way to go grocery shopping. I could have been the mom to pretty much anyone there that night except for the first singer who said he was in his 40s (BRO, WHAT’S UP!) and the soundguy.

“I COULD HAVE BEEN THEIR GRANDFATHER!” Henry cried, but honestly I don’t think these people were that much older than Chooch, calm down, Henry.

“Go to local shows,” they said. “Support local music,” they said.

I genuinely enjoyed them, though, and would like to come out and support them again but maybe I will try to bring like 10 people with me!?

Also, I was glad to be supporting Casa San Jose because FUCK ICE FOREVER. FUCK DONALD TRUMP AND HIS REGIME. FUCK FASCISM TIL THE END OF TIME.

Anyway. We bolted out of there as soon as it was over. Part of me wanted to stick around and say hello or whatever, but I was so giddy and also suffocating from the awkwardness of it all, that I think we both wanted to just get the fuck outside. And once we were on the sidewalk, we started cracking up.

“Jesus Christ, Erin!” Henry laughed. “Why do you keep putting us in these situations??”

I’ll tell you, I hate a crowd as much as the next antisocial person, but there is something even worse about being one of the ONLY people in a crowd at a performance, because it’s almost like YOU are the one being observed. When there are only like 5 or 8 people standing there, the eyes are going to land on you at some point, ESPECIALLY when you’re the only one that the people on stage DON’T KNOW.

I actually felt like I was under a spotlight and it was exhausting. Like, I was hyper aware of my facial muscles – was I doing resting bitch face? Did I look critical? Were they worried I wasn’t enjoying it? So instead, I overcorrected and I think I looked like I was auditioning for the next installment of SMILE.

What’s even funnier to me is that usually when something like this happens, you’re not noticed at all, you know? You’re just a blurry face in the crowd so you might walk away with some funny memory of something that the rest of the people there had no idea was happening. But in our case, while we might reminisce about this years later, like, “Remember that one time we looked like NARCs at that Roboto show?” the band might also have their own side of it that comes up someday, like, “Remember when those random parents showed up at our show for no reason and no one knew who they were?!”

I don’t know, it feels less funny now that I’m typing it out but Henry and I fucking laughed about it for days afterward. I never thought I would find myself in a more awkward concert situation than the Kurt Travis house show but this one was EXCRUCIATING. Hilarious (and with mostly good music) but so painful. If it hadn’t been for the the pre-show beer lubricating my nerves, I think I might have left. Glad I didn’t though! Even when Henry was shooting, “I hate you” daggers at me from his eyes, lol.

The next one is this Saturday and hopefully there are more people there, pray for us.

In case anyone missed the memo, I am obsessed with the Glitterbox and need little to no reason to attend events there. I am trying not to be SO OVERZEALOUS that I cause apprehension from the staff though. But when I saw that there was a SLEAZY FEMME FILM FEST featuring SANDY LOAF of Smoker’s Lounge fame, I sent the event details to Henry with “!!!!” Ofc he said, “ok whatever you want to do” because I rule the roost and he is but my servant.

Chooch was actually home this weekend for the Dominic Fike concert and was so annoyed that he and his friend Ben had to take the T there because mommy and daddy needed the car for their sleazy date night haha. I think he is lowkey also annoyed at the swerve our lives have taken since he moved out. Like, we’re way cooler than him now.

First, we wanted to get dinner and drinks at Golden Age but it was PACKED since it was storming so the outdoor seating was flooded. So we settled on Duke’s which was whatever.

I was in a bad mood immediately because the hostess was the epitome of “blank” and discarded us at an awkward table so I immediately was like fuck this we’re sitting at the bar. Then I was annoyed because 95% of their draft list was IPAs and I am so sick of IPAs. I ordered one anyway only because the name was Pernicious and that’s what I used to call Marcy. :(

Then!! Come to find out (I hate when people say that btw) that the idiot hostess gave us an OLD MENU and the current one had Oktoberfests and brown ales on it!!! The bartender (who I couldn’t tell if she hated us or what but I swear I caught her scowling at me several times) was like, “I’ll give her a pass because she’s only 16—she doesn’t know.”

She…doesn’t know how to read a date on the menu? Got it.

The one nice thing about the bartender was that she did warn us not to engage with the old man near us at the bar and that he was the reason another couple bolted. Luckily Henry is so naturally standoffish that was had nothing to worry about and the man eventually left and walked in the middle of traffic so…

I will say that the pizza we got was exceptional and it was fun watching some international little league game on TV while talking about BIGBANG.

But then it was time to go to the Glitterbox right down the street and I was immediately SO CONTENT. I can’t stress how much I love this place. It is so special. So inclusive. So quirky and cozy.

This show had a pretty robust turnout too, much like Sandy Loaf’s Smoker’s Lounge! This show was in collaboration with Pittsburgh Sound and Image:

From the Pgh Sound + Image website:

Filmmaker and curator Maren Moreno graces Pittsburgh with a new Sleazy Femme Film Festival. Are you a first-timer? Well, it does exactly what it says on the tin. It’s sleazy, it’s femme, it’s film, it’s festive! And it’s the only place you’ll find this all-star lineup of DIY powerhouses:

-A rough cut of Maren’s new lezzy erotic film FILTH EATER, with live score by Frogonbough/Ava Lowry/Maze Phillips

-SANDY LOAF and NASTY TAXI present a singular array of vignettes, with live score by Bella Figlia

-And we’ll close it out with a 16mm print of Heather McAdams’s experimental doc of a Kentucky drag queen, Meet…Bradley Harrison Picklesimer

Join us Saturday, August 22nd. Doors at 7:30, show starts at 8:00.

Meet…Bradley Harrison Picklesimer preserved by Chicago Film Society through the National Film Preservation Foundation’s Avant-Garde Masters program and The Film Foundation. Funding provided by the Hobson/Lucas Family Foundation.

I think this might have been after Anna walked by, recognized us, and said, “Oh hi guys!” and I was like smiling so hard after that, I could NOT get my face to relax, I was frozen in this big-cheese manic visage that Henry was like, “JFC.”

OMG this is my favorite Glitterbox person! I always call him “the Kurt Travis guy” because I don’t know his name but he reminds me of Kurt Travis (duh). He wasn’t at the last event we attended so I was excited to see him running around making sure everything was set up.

Henry was originally lowkey uncomfortable about attending this, being a straight white guy at the sleazy lezzy film show, and I was joking about, “Hi everyone, I’m here and I brought my incel” but he quickly realized that, like every other event we’ve attended there, no one cared, no one gave him a side-eye, he was just another patron of queer art.

Anyway, a quick recap:

• the first short silent film was called Filth Eater by Maren Moreno. It was incredible and had a three-piece orchestra set up behind us, performing a live score. It was intense, explicit, erotic, and uncomfortably intimate at times,  but had some moments of levity that had us all cracking up.
• then it was Sandy Loaf’s short film called Imaginary Boyfriends which was like an offshoot of Smokers Lounge—creepy and nightmare-inducing! This one had a live score performed on the side of the stage by Bella Figlia. Sandy Loaf also brought one of the masks and babydolls with her, which were chilling on the sides of the stage all night, judging us.
• the finale was Heather McAdam’s short  doc from the 80s about the drag queen Bradley Harrison Picklesimer. IT WAS SO GOOD. It is purposely not available anywhere online, to stream, etc., because Heather insists that it only be viewed in its original 16mm and I love her for this because it was so visually pleasing in this format. It felt extra special and like a treat to get to see this that night. Some parts of it had the whole theater LOLing loudly – what a character!

All of the artists post-screening. These people are so cool and talented!

I love these events so much because it gives Henry and I so much to unpack and discuss. We drive home and just dissect everything we’ve seen and it just feels so bonding. I am desperate to take Chooch to something here when he’s home on his next break!

Bro, when I saw this posted on Instagram and noticed that Azizzy would be performing, I excitedly shoved my phone in Henry’s bearded grill and squealed, “We have to go!!!”

Just to clarify, that was me doing the squealing.

After witnessing Azizzy’s clown performance at the last Glitterbox event we attended, I declared myself their #1 fan. And then followed them on Instagram. And then fanned myself when they followed me back. I wrote the book on parasociology, OK child.

This wasn’t technically a clown show, but a variety show. As the flyer suggests.

Obviously.

We went into this knowing nothing.  I did tell Henry though that I wanted to get there later than we usually do—we always arrive RIGHT WHEN DOORS OPEN and sometimes the flyer is incorrect so we get there even earlier than the Glitterbox and their artists would like.

“I want to get there closer to 7pm so we don’t look so EAGER BEAVER like we have previously. I don’t want these people to think I’m like, obsessed or something,” I said matter-of-factly earlier in the day on Tuesday.

“But, you are obsessed,” Henry so kindly pointed out for the studio audience.

OF COURSE we still got there too early so we just chilled in the car which was probably even creepier than sliding through the front door like Joey and Chandler on a wheeled dog sculpture minus the dog sculpture and it’s actually just me barging through the door with HELLO I’M HERE frantic energy while Henry causally slumps in behind me.

We started seeing all kinds of people walking to Glitterbox and I was like, “Oh thank god, there are going to be lots of people in the crowd tonight!” and then Doris arrived too! I was like, “Yay, it’s Doris!”

But guess what!? ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE WERE GOING UPSTAIRS TO A CLOWN CLASS.

So, when we walked into the theater at 7PM, it was….JUST US. And then the performers (Skeeter & Kev + Matthew from the Saga of the Shining Emblem – we did not know that that was who they were at the time) arrived right after us. The guy who is normally there running the ticket booth and concessions wasn’t there that night, but a different person—Anna—was holding it down and she was super nice. Actually, I’m pretty sure Henry was sitting next to her at the first clown show we attended, where her wife got to participate in one of the skits. I had a feeling that night that they were both Glitterbox-affiliated.

Drinking a spicy ginger beer at the Glitterbox and sitting in anticipation of what we’re about to spectate has become my favorite thing over these last several months. It’s something different every time and it never disappoints!

Two more people arrived and eventually I realized that the audience was just going to be the 4 of us, plus the performers, one of the performer’s partner, and Anna. How does this happen!? I need to take it upon myself to be the street team for Glitterbox events. Unfortunately, this one was just posted a week prior to the show, super short notice for people who aren’t obsessive like me. I did have THREE friends say that they’re interested in future clown shows though so I you better believe this information is stored away in the steel trap that is my somewhere-on-the-spectrum mind.

Well, anyway—let me give a quick run-down of the evening because you TRULY HAD TO BE THERE.

Kev was the super chill and funny MC of the night. We had a fun little local beer discourse because he said when Anna was helping him stay hydrated at the concession stand, he asked for an Iron City Beer and she called it “shitty beer” so he was asking us if that’s true. Then he asked what local breweries to check out and no one else was saying anything so I yelled, “Hitchhiker” which I do like BUT WHY DID I NOT SAY LOLEV?!!? That is my BELOVED.

Anna suggested East End which is definitely the better answer because that is wildly considered the “standard” when it comes to Pgh beer I guess.

(Kev, Skeeter, and Matthew are from Brooklyn, BTW.)

The first performer of the night was a local stand-up comedian, Alex, and he was OK. I’m admittedly not a huge stand-up fan and this guy’s humor and delivery reminded me of someone I work with who I don’t find very funny.

Skeeter came out in between acts to get us politically riled up, perform some of his slam poetry, and read from his journal titled BREAST MILK & AGAVE. I loved their little in-between acts and banter!

Then it was Azizzy’s allotted 10 minutes on stage and this is when I was like OH SHIT WHAT IS THIS FAMILIAR YET UNFAMILIAR FEELING ALL AT ONCE,  I THINK I HAVE MY FIRST EVER CLOWN CRUSH????!!!  Later, Henry said, “Yeah, no shit.”

He always knows before I do.

You guys, Azizzy is so talented though. Their absurdist pantomiming makes me laugh so hard that I actually felt like I was hungover the next morning. And Henry enjoys it too which is crazy because he and I usually have VERY different tastes when it comes to comedy. I am super picky, but Azizzy checks all my boxes.

:)

They dropped the lid to their tin of hair gel, which was one of their props, and I was so excited when it rolled straight toward me. Henry made fun of me later for the overeager speed I snatched it up, like anyone else was going to lurch themselves toward it or fight me for it like a sticky wedding bouquet, but I was just so desperate to have the opportunity to interact with them by handing it back to them!!!

I kept saying, “Remember when I picked up Azizzy’s hair gel lid?” all week while Henry was hunkering down in the basement building a sailboat to float him away from FML Island.

The main act was the Saga of the Shining Emblem, which is a live-active improv version of a Choose Your Own Adventure book, led by Matthew. He took the stage in a vert dramatic fashion with a booming, mystical soundtrack and shrouded in a velvet cloak.

It was SO FUNNY and creative, and unlike ANYTHING I have ever seen performed in front of me before. It was awkward when he asked for someone to volunteer to be the HERO of the story. There were only 4 of us and no one was making a move, so finally Azizzy, now in their civilian clothes, volunteered. I am so glad because I would have been a disaster up there. I mean, you only had to answer a few questions to keep the plot going but unlike the book, THERE WEREN’T OPTIONS TO CHOOSE FROM and my brain would have surely short-circuited up there in the hot seat.

Azizzy did amazingly thought, OF COURSE!

Since this is Pittsburgh, the setting was THE PITT which made it extra funny. I wish there has been some reference to DANA’S TERRIBLE YINZER ACCENT though

Azizzy made it through to the end and was awarded AN ACTUAL SHINING EMBLEM — FOR KEEPS!!! — at the end, so maybe I had some regrets at that point for being a little wussy baby shy girl.

Skeeter came out with more performative activism at the end (but no sincerely FREE PALESTINE all day long!!) and Kev had us all sign his shirt! As a Leo, this was something that had me practically knocking over chairs to do. I fucking love writing my name.

Henry went to the bathroom before leaving and I saw a chance to talk to Azizzy SO I TOOK IT. God, why am I so socially awkward though. I was smiling like a lunatic, I could feel it, and saying the dumbest things. But! They said they were glad to see that we came out for this and I had to stop myself from saying IF YOU WILL BE THERE I WILL BE THERE. Meanwhile, Henry was coming back from the bathroom and was probably like, “Oh Jesus Christ, here we go.”

I said that I have always loved clowns, my house has clown art everywhere, and when I saw that these clown shows were a thing it felt like this was the next natural step which they took way too literally and started telling me about the clown classes that are held there, and maybe I should even consider improv, etc. Oh can you even imagine what a nightmare I would be in that environment?! The social anxiety and stage fright would kill me if the stress of even just THINKING about it didn’t get to me first.

I can’t even remember how the conversation ended because I am so awkward and don’t know how to wind things down but I think I stupidly said that I hoped to see them perform again and they were like “yes, please!” and I said, “I’LL LOOK FOWARD TO IT.”

UGH.

I hate myself so much, I’m such a fucking nerd.

But other that, it was an amazing night and I was so giddy the whole way home. I feel like Henry and I are really getting out there and doing new things which has helped my depression and empty nest syndrome TREMENDOUSLY. Highly recommend looking at the events pages of random local theaters and venues, finding one that sounds interesting, and just going for it. It’s opened up a whole new world of performance art for us that we didn’t know existed AND I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS SCENE. It has cured my boredom.

“Didn’t you just see him like last month?” Chooch asked when I sent him his favorite text that goes like this, “GUESS WHO I’M SEEING TONIGHT??” And no, it was almost exactly a year ago when I last saw Anthony Green (and Geoff Rickly!), thank you very much, Chooch. And because of that close proximity to the last show, I ALMOST sat this one out. That would have been such a mistake. Don’t sit the shows out, guys. Go to the shows. I have been seeing Anthony in one form or the other since 2005 but I still felt like there might be a REGERT there if I didn’t go. Especially because I follow him on Instagram and was so excited to see the clips of him opening for MCR at WEMBLEY. THE WEMBLEY. So, he was starting this next leg of the tour right off the heels of that. Incredible.

This show was last Friday. That same week, we had the clown show at Glitterbox and Kennywood because I have us on a fast track for burn out. So when Henry was anticipating a quiet evening in, I reminded him, “We have Anthony Green tonight….” and he was like, “…fuck.” LOL. Then I had to remind him that HE was the one who actually told me about this show in the first place!!

I’m so glad that we got the leg of the tour with Geoff. <3

We had some time to kill, so we walked down to Burghers for a pre-show beer. I had a red ale there too and I’m telling you—that is my style! One is enough, it’s satisfying, they always taste good, I don’t feel like I’m drinking beer, and I don’t feel like shit afterward. Plus, I have also learned that I am a one-beer-and-time-to-go girl. Bars and breweries are “pre-whatever-event killing time” things for me, and not somewhere to waste an afternoon or evening—I can’t hang like that. This was my third time at a Burghers and I have not had a bad beer there yet. Plus, the people are always so nice! This time, we sat at the bar and talked to the Burghers people about Anthony Green so that was amazing since usually people are like “who” when I tell them who we are going to see, lol ugh.

Myrna, can you believe that I have not been to Mr. Small’s since pre-pandemic!? It’s crazy how much time I spent there over the years and then stepping inside last Friday felt so foreign to me.

Plus, it’s changed so many times over the years that I can’t even remember what it was like the last time we were there. Or even, when I was there. I think it was just Chooch and me, possibly to see Emarosa?!

Henry is always the holder of my merch.

Also, I had to bite my tongue the other day because I’m so sick of correcting people, but someone insinuated that Henry was going to a show to see someone he didn’t know and this is so infuriating to me. Henry has been there since the beginning, when I loved Saosin, then obsessed over Circa Survive and listened to them almost exclusively on my cemetery walks while pregnant with Chooch, when I shyly met Anthony outside of the Grog Shop in Cleveland summer 2005 and he signed my CD, all the different bands we saw him performing with at various Riot Fests, taking me to Philly to see The Sound of Animals Fighting—-come the fuck on. Give the man some credit.

My favorite was actually  the last Riot Fest we went to in 2023. We were standing by one of the stages waiting for the next band to come on and Henry was like, “Who are we waiting for?” and I said, “Just wait, you’ll see.” The band came out and he was like, “Wait….is that Anthony? But what band is this? Is he in ANOTHER BAND?” Lol, it was LS Dunes.

But no, you’re right, Henry has no idea who Anthony Green is.

The show opened with Keith Goodwin, of Good Old War and long-time Anthony collaborator.

Anthony came out and played drums on one song, and then came out again to sing on another.

It was a really nice, mellow opening.

After Keith’s set, Henry went to the bathroom and came back with our pal Jason Pettigrew! I was JUST lamenting earlier that night that we never run into anyone we know when we go to shows, like how is it possible that I have no friends who like anything I like, I don’t understand. (And of course after I said this, I remembered that we saw one of our Sugar Spell ice cream friends at two shows in the span of a year and actually one of those shows was the LAST Anthony Green show!).

It’s been A MINUTE since we last saw Jason and it was amazing timing because he and I had just recently been going back and forth on Threads about how needed to catch up soon. A loud venue wasn’t necessarily the best environment for a chat but it was still better than nothing! He hung out with us for Geoff’s full set and then we made tentative plans for an avocado pie night at our house in October. #fingerscrossed

But OMG, Geoff Rickly. Once again, I’m so glad that we decided to come to this show because he is just a gem, such a legend. And I said it last year too,  that he could leave his guitar at home and just sit on a stool telling us stories and I would be just as enthralled. He’s an amazing musician and songwriter, but his story-telling skills are also top notch. And he somehow super hilariously wove references to Charlie Kirk AND Taco Bell into the evening. Ugh, he is SO GOOD and I’m very grateful to his sobriety because he is someone we need on this earth for as long as possible. Just a genuinely cool guy.

And then Anthony. OK, so I don’t know what was going on with me last year when we saw him: maybe I was still depressed and dead inside, maybe it was the venue, maybe it was just weird timing. But it didn’t resonate with me emotionally. In fact, I kind of felt like an outsider, like maybe too much time had passed and I wasn’t meant for this scene anymore. I can’t explain it but this time, it felt like NO TIME had passed, like it was 2005 again, like I was listening to Circa on some shitty mp3 player and shitty headphones, tears mixing with sweat, cemetery groundsmen looking at me like wtf is wrong with this broad.

I FELT THINGS AGAIN. I clung to every little piece of information he shared with us between songs. I smiled like a fucking acolyte. Man, Anthony Green. I am so sorry that I fell off the wagon there for a bit. I’m sorry I missed even a single Pittsburgh performance. I’m extra sad that I didn’t even know The Sound of Animals Fighting played shows last fall!!

Henry took pictures too!!

Anthony posted on Threads that he felt this was the best show he’s played in “Pitty” and I was so glad to have been there. It really did feel like a very special show. The crowd was good. The venue was perf. Everyone, in all of the bands + Geoff, sounded SO GOOD. It just felt personal, like they wanted to be there performing their songs just as much as we wanted to be there listening to them. I really don’t have a single complaint about the night and I will end it by saying that I am fully back on the wagon and have been listening to all iterations of Anthony Green ever since that night and just absolutely FLOATING in nostalgia.

SETLIST:

1. So It Goes
2. I Don’t Want to Die Tonight
3. Babygirl
4. She Loves Me So
5. You’ll Be Fine
6. Trading Doses
7. East Coast Winters
8. Pets (Porno for Pyro cover)
9. Seven Years
10. Strange Terrain
11. Act Appalled
12. Reconcile
13. Don’t Dance
14. Dear Child / Like Magick / Fucks Me Up
15. This Song Won’t Save You
16. Get Out
17. Devil’s Song

I can’t believe this happened, but I somehow failed to bring either of my two Charmera cameras with me on Friday so this will just be a Saturday and Sunday Chameradump I guess. :(

Saturday’s coffee break led us to Redstart in the East End. I didn’t realize until we pulled into the lot but in 2019 when Jiyong and I used to meet up every Saturday, we came here but it was called something else at the time. All I could remember was that it shared a space with Schoolhouse (the lighting company) but when I googled it, “The Bureau” is what came up, which didn’t seem correct AT ALL.

So I consulted my blog, and yeah, it was the same place. I remember very well being INSIDE but the name rings not even the tiniest bell buried in the recesses of my corroded mind. I did have fun reading the blog post that mentioned it though, which has us meeting Tommy and Jessy for lunch somewhere in Butler that also rings zero bells in my mind but Chooch’s sick burn near the end of the blog post had me gagged. I sent him a screenshot yesterday and he said, “Lol wow, got him.”

(RIP Jessy though for real, ugh.)

Anyway! This place had the most quiet vibes. It was mostly people there alone to either read a book or work so this is the atmosphere I was looking for on my Baby Girl Goes to the City Alone day earlier this month. (God, it was still July yet it feels like that months ago at this point. How is this summer going by so fast but then these weird time lags are also happening!?)

I got the coconut latte and Henry got pandan but then I made him swap with me after I tried his. We also split a vegan sea salt chocolate chip cookie. Overall, great lattes and the cookie would have been better if it wasn’t shared. The barista was also a super nice guy who didn’t make us feel like we were encroaching on holy grounds. (OH COME ON YOU KNOW HOW SOME OF THEM CAN BE!!)

I would go back. Good job, Redstart.

Before we went home, we stopped at Bodega Film Lab to pick up some film for our little mini trip coming up later this week.

The guy who helped us was super nice and also didn’t act like an elitist so I was happy about that. I love photography but I love it on my terms and by that I mean I know zero of the technical aspects of it so please do not ask me what kind of ISO I’m looking for and if you even START to say aperature, just know I’m already tuning you out on the first syllable.

Later that night, we watched the Italian horror movie Torso, and it was excellent.

Sunday (today!) I met Sandy and Nate at Palm Palm for brunch! I haven’t seen them since February so it was a nice little catch-up sesh. They brought me a birthday bouquet :)

We were all smitten with the water carafe that looked like a volcano.

Not Charmera, but I got the coconut pancakes with yuzu marmalade and the most delicious whipped topping which ended up being my brunch AND dinner:

It was so good but I am excited to eat something savory today, lol.

And here’s a better picture of Sandy and Nate too:

It was such a great brunch! And I loved Palm Palm (they even have matchbooks which to me is such a great touch) and already can’t wait to go back.

Later in the afternoon, Henry and I went to my mom’s because she is moving out slowly and I wanted to not only poke around and see what things of mine are still there, but we also needed to send Chooch some pictures of my brother Ryan’s old bedroom set because he (Chooch) is moving into a new place this September and has no furniture. I asked him if he liked it and he was like, “Well, I have nothing so I’m relying on Val’s donation here.” LOL I guess that’s a yes.

Meanwhile, I found some really good old shit—LIKE MY FIRST PUBLIC DIARY FROM FIFTH GRADE!!! So, I was pretty happy about that but overall felt kind of weird. I haven’t been in my mom’s house in probably over 15 years if we’re being honest here, and it made me sort of sad to see my old room which used to be so cool, I’m not getting, it was so fucking cozy and ambiant, but after I moved out one of my brothers took over and killed the vibe.

But, I digress. It’s just really weird that both my childhood home and my grandparent’s house on the same street are basically just…done.

So after we left there, we stopped at a local pizza shop / brewery called Truss to have a “we were just sweating in an attic” beer.

I had a red ale and it was SO GOOD, but not only that, we chatted with the owner and he is so cool and down to earth. He was encouraging us to sample everything but once I tried the red ale, I was like, “No need, this is the one.”

Henry got the CAR WASH COMING SOON summer wheat which is based on an inside joke with the community because there are so many car washes on one small strip of highway that runs through, that every time a new one pops up, people get so triggered. Anyway, one guy took it to the next level but having a giant “car wash coming soon” sign printed and then he hung it at Chick-fil-a on a Sunday so the community Facebook page popped of with, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME, CHICK-FIL-A IS TURNING INTO A CAR WASH???”

Anyway, long story still long, that guy is friends/friendly with the Truss owner, and when the Truss guy went on vacation, the CAR WASH COMING SOON sign ended up in front of the brewery, lol. He told us that he came back from his trip to Mexico with his inbox full of concerned messages about Truss closing. So, the car wash beer was born. IT IS SO GOOD, TOO! I stole some sips :)

Then I read aloud from my 5th grade public diary and Henry was like FML. SHOULD THIS BE MY FUTURE CLOWN ACT!?!? Just, me in face paint sitting on a stool and reading pages from my journals??

Hilariously in the same vein, Henry was digging around on some old computer drives and found an audio recording of the time I read an entire haunted house review for LiveJournal. (It was the infamous IGOR’S FRIGHT SHACK review!!!)

Well, that pretty much sums up the weekend, minus Friday which will be a separate post. CIAO FOR NOW.

Borbo/Prism is an eponymous duo of artists. They hail from Bushwick, Brooklyn- famously memed for its colorful cast of characters- where they work extensively in the DIY experimental performance art scene.
Prism’s (they/she) work is focused on visual storytelling, with a heavy reliance on folkloric imagery. Having come-of-age in the Appalachian countryside of Ohio, their works’ themes often reflect on the conflicting reality of tradition and personal identity. Prism practices mostly in the mediums of conventional “feminine craft” (sewing, embroidery, applique, textiles). They then force new meaning onto these heavily connotated mediums by enmeshing them with the performance art practices typically overrun with male artists (puppetry, noise music, clowning).
Borbo (it/its) is a queer non-binary percussionist, performance artist, and noise clown. It draws inspiration from a wide range of genres, including psychedelia, free improvisation, and jazz-fusion. Anything it can strike, scrape or shake is a potential musical instrument – drum sets, found objects, toys, and self-made percussive sculptures are all fair game. Borbo has also been observed using live electronics and contact mics as an electro-acoustic tool to augment its percussive sonic palette. A natural buffoon since birth, Borbo rejects self-seriousness in favor of whimsy, queering its own reality by transfiguring clown from performance art to lifestyle and gender.
The duo is currently on their Rust Belt Tour. Blending their typical acts with the essence of the road, the themes have a bit more of a bite to them than they would in Brooklyn. Through this journey, they hope to continue to curate a unique and whimsical craft to share with the world. You can connect with them on Instagram at @borbo.the.clown and @maximum_security_prism.

When I saw this being promoted on Glitterbox’s Instagram right on the heels of our first real clown show there, I was like, “ANOTHER CLOWN SHOW? SIGN US UP!” Henry, good sport that he is, was like, “OK, I will work on adapting to this latest swerve in our lifestyle.”

I was super stoked because a few days before, Jess texted me and said that she and Shawn were free that night and wanted to join us!! And Shawn ended up bringing his cousin Rachel as well! We had a cohort for the clown show!

But first! Henry and I got to Glitterbox around 6:30 when doors opened and I immediately saw a familiar face walking toward the theater — it was someone from the audience at the last clown show who also got to participate in the skit that Henry was involved in! They were the one holding the “boom,” if you feel like going back and watching the video on this post.

Desperate to braid myself into the local clown scene, I went right up to them and (hopefully not too maniacally) said, “Hi! Were you at the last clown show? I recognize you!” and they were like, “Oh! Yes, I was” and, like a cartoon talking with her jaw fully detached and jittering like a pair of wind-up teeth, I (CALMLY) squealed, “And you’re a clown too right?? I fell down the rabbit hole on Instagram after the last show….” and they confirmed that yes they are a clown but no, they would not be performing that night. Their name is Doris! I made contact with a clown and I am so happy. Doris is so pleasant and was a joy to chat with. Meanwhile, Henry had been trying to cross the street and witnessed this from afar, so he looked very tense when he made his way over to me and had a WHAT DID YOU DO look on his face. He is always so afraid that I’m going to embarrass him.

The poster said that doors were at 6:30 so we walked on in like we owned the place and the box office guy (I LOVE HIM, he is so nice) was like, “Oh! Hi!” because he thought doors were at 7 so it was kind of awkward and I said we could leave and come back but he asked BORBO AND PRISM, still in their civilian clothes and setting up the stage, if they minded if we stayed and they said no! Luckily, Doris came in soon after along with a few others. And then Shawn, Jess and Rachel! Shawn was in full on brag-mode because they were on time, lol. Then I introduced them to Doris! But really I was like, “GUYS WOULD YOU LOOK I MADE A FRIEND I THINK?” I’m trying so hard to be the old me and actually talk. to people in public. It’s….a work in progress. Check back later this year.

The show fully started around 7:30, with local clown AZIZZY. OK first of all—after we left the first clown show earlier this month and I started doing the late night Instagram click-throughs, I realized that this was the person sitting behind me that night who had the most INFECTIOUS laughter, so much so that they made the opening act that night seem exponentially more hilarious to me (that opening act was actually the person who teaches clown courses! I’m learning so much about this community after only just realizing it exists at all).

Their routine was about 30 minutes long and my face hurt was smiling so hard. This clown is A JOY. Hilarious. Endearing. Creative. And their sad face!! I kept murmuring, “Awww” and then looking to make sure Henry the Heartless was having the same reaction.

I am prepared to be the biggest AZIZZY groupie this city has seen.

Before the show started, I was trying to explain to Jess and Shawn about the last one we attended and how it’s not your classic Bozo at the Children’s Party mainstream clown stereotype and while it’s not overtly “scary” like those you’d encounter at a haunted house, there is something dark and sardonic about the characters these Neo-clowns create, and it can even be kind of provocative.

While AZIZZY embodied this description, Borbo and Prism came on the stage to totally flip that description on its head. While they were dressed clown-esque, this was more performance art than comedy.

While Borbo sat at a table and created a soundscape that at times felt like it was actually going to make me go inside (think: lots of repetitive industrial sounds and echoing squeaks of toys, etc.), Prism sat on the floor in front of a projector and played with colors and textures. It was one of the oddest, coolest, eeriest, cerebral shows I have ever sat through and it was completely unexpected. It wasn’t for everyone – one woman walked out. I guess I get it, the sounds were so hypnotic and intense at times that it did feel like we were part of some Clockwork Orange experiment. Like, how much can you handle before your mind explodes into a swarm of chittering plastic creepy-crawlies.

It was uncomfortable at moments and I think that was part of the process. This was meant to be something that you could discuss with your friends after and everyone has a different takeaway. For me, it was just interesting how the jarring soundtrack complemented the experimental shapes and colors projected on the screen. We were literally watching these people play with sounds and sights. Like a live Mattress Factory exhibit. Definitely not for everyone but luckily, we are all super weirdos and artists at heart so we all had positive takeaways, I think.

For me, the best way I can describe it is that I felt like I was sitting in a stationary haunted house—not so much the images, but the SOUNDSCAPE. It was very reminiscent to the sounds that are blasting throughout some haunted houses, meant to make you feel on edge or that you’re literally going insane. So, I felt like I was sitting in a chair while the haunted house was happening in front of me rather than walking through it. And you know how much I love haunted houses. I might not look like it on the outside, but I am 100% the target audience for this type of avant garde art.

The finale was a puppet show, and Prism made sure to offer the disclaimer that this was not going to be “clown” themed and that there might be images projected on the screen that could be considered sensitive to some. I was worried it was going to be animal-stuff but it wasn’t so I was OK!

BUT BRO, that puppet show was incredible.

Shawn’s takeaway was that it was a cautionary tale about beastiality, don’t fuck sheep, and Jess cried, “You needed a puppet show to tell you that beastiality is bad??” LOL.

OMG, I have been yammering on all week about this show. I wish I had better words to explain how completely captivated I am by this entire scene. Like, I’m giddy over it. All three clowns from that night followed me back on Instagram and I am so excited to stay in the loop and continue to support them! I even bought my first clown merch that night!

Borbo and Prism make all of their merch using repurposed shirts so no two are the same, and I love that. I got this long-sleeved shirt and it’s so cozy! I wore it in my work meeting on Wednesday on purpose because Wendy is so alarmed at these latest turn of events (she is th biggest clown hater I know) and she yelled, “NO! TAKE THAT OFF!” lol.

Anyway, I love clowns. I love the Glitterbox. I don’t want to do any kind of performing but I would love to get involved with between the scenes stuff at that theater, maybe volunteer Henry for set design or costume sewing. Who knows, but I have felt so lost since 2024 and this is actually making me feel kind of grounded, like have I maybe found a place where I possibly could fit in and make friends?

Sigh.

Bro. When I saw that Honey Revenge was coming back to Pittsburgh this summer, I was all in. I accidentally fell HARD for them last year when they headlined a show I went to specifically for the opening band. I love when that happens. They are one of my non-Kpop regular listens — in fact, we listened to them a lot in the car last summer when we were on our dumb midwest roller coaster road trip for my birthday and Chooch was very annoyed.

Specifically, Honey Revenge was headlining the idobi Radio Summer School Tour and at first that meant nothing to me because I wasn’t familiar with any of the other bands but I loved that it was giving “Warped Tour Lite” in a way. I mean, there was even a PETA2 street teamer passing out stickers and bracelets to everyone standing outside in line. It really felt so nostalgic.

(Did you guys know that Chooch became a vegetarian after visiting a PETA2 tent at his second Warped Tour? I had no influence over that at all!)

Standing in line was actually one of the low points of the evening because not only did it start pouring—and while we were blessedly under a tent for that, we also happened to be under a tent with some very loud and angry woman who, after snapping at the PETA2 volunteer, proceeded to spend the next 20 minutes reading out loud from her phone all the terrible things about PETA, and I was just like, “OH FOR THE LOVE, PLEASE SHUT UP.” I’m not super gaga over Peta either but I have been a vegetarian since 1996 and donate to the ASPCA monthly so please go away. She seemed SUPER FUN.

Another low point was the fact that this was at the Roxian. Truly do not care for this venue. The pit is SO TINY and the rest of the standing room area is obstructed by so many things, it’s just fucking annoying. And I knew that this show was probably going to get a little more spicy than my brittle old broad bones can withstand so being in the pit was not something that I was willing to risk. Plus, I knew if I went down there, the first time Henry had to leave to go to the bathroom would be the last time I’d see him until the show was over because no way was he going to bother to fight his way back to me, LOL.

We did manage to get a spot at the barricade directly behind the drink rail at least. The downside of this was twofold:

• now we were standing with Older People who love to yap during the bands;
• once the people who bought seats at the drink rail arrived, there was some minimal obstruction. It wasn’t too bad but the two bitches who were right in front of me reminded me of Christina and her idiot sister and the idiot sister one of the two was REALLY ANNOYING at times.

The people next to me ended up revolving as the night went on. The one couple bolted after the third band because that was all they cared about and I was like THANK THE LORD because the woman literally COULD NOT stop talking. She turned around constantly to say stuff to the guy, like she was on a swivel, and it was so distracting. He was super chatty too, they both were talking to anyone and everyone around who would engage. They quickly lost interest in me, lol.

But yeah, I was surprised how many couples were there together, especially older couples, considering this was a mostly female-fronted lineup (ONE band had a guy singer and it really fucked with the vibe) and very young bands in general.

Anyway, let’s get into the bands!

The great thing about Summer School is that they chose a local band from every city the tour came to, and Pittsburgh’s winning band was Carmela Donna….Band? Creatures? I still have no idea what their official name is because THEY NEVER SAID IT and also their Instagram has it listed as just Carmela Donna, Carmela Donna Band, and Carmela Donna’s Creatures. Or something.

I was skeptical at first because they came out guns blazing but it didn’t feel cohesive. But then then they really jelled and found their footing and I ended up really enjoying their set. Especially when they introduced a green beachball to the crowd and look, I have been to a hundred summer music festivals where beach balls abound, but for some reason, I was very entertained. I guess because it was such a small space and people were COMMITTED. I kept hoping it would make its way to me but the closest it came was to one of the people at the drink rail in front of me (not Christina and her idiot sister, but a normal couple to the left of them who were very unbothersome).

Carmela reminded me of Chooch’s first crush/mentor Courtney.

That means nothing to you.

But someday when I’m 76 I’ll come back and read this, smile….and ask Chooch, “Who the fuck is Courtney?”

Anyway, this is my style and I’m excited to see them again. Hopefully soon, since they’re local??

Next up was Chase Petra. OK. This band ended up being my favorite. I can’t explain it but there was something Sundays / Billy Bragg-ish about them that transported me back to a very specific time in the 1990s. And the singer, Hunter, was SO FUNNY. She picked one girl out of the crowd – Molly – and said that everyone had to dance and if we didn’t, Molly was going to have to die, sadly. Afterward, she spared Molly but told her that the people in the back did not care about her so if she had to come back here, to just “watch out.” SHE WAS JUST SO CHARMING! And she had fish on her tights!

Oh also? She was very FREE PALESTINE AND FUCK TRUMP and we are HERE FOR THAT. This is why I love going to these kinds of concerts! It makes me feel so safe.

This was my favorite one!!

Winona Fighter was up next (I have to say that everyone worked SO HARD to get the stage ready extremely quickly between each band so there was minimal downtime) and this was the band that Chatty Cathy next to me was there for so she suddenly got super energetic and then immediately left after their set. Byeee.

Anyway, WOW. I had listened to some of their songs in preparation of this night and I will say that nothing really stuck out. This is TRULY one of those bands that you HAVE TO SEE LIVE.

They ended up being Henry’s favorite of the night (although his final review was: Everyone was good. I liked it. I know what you’re thinking – if only I could be that succinct, right? LOL NEVER) and I can’t argue with him there–SUPER HIGH ENERGY and the singer Coco WAS SICK — never would have noticed with the way she riotgrrrled her fucking face off up there.

“I’m a little stressed out, just a little stressed out, is anybody else stressed out” IS ALL OF US THESE DAYS. So fucking relatable.

South Arcade from Oxford, England was next and I was really forward to them, being the only other band there that I was moderately familiar with. They are just good, fun, summer pop punk. Basically, fuck Gwen Stefani, who needs her when Harmony Cavelle exists??

HER RASP. I love it so much.

OMG the late 90s/early 00s aesthetic is killing me in the best way. I REALLY like them.

Games We Play was the outlier here, the only band not fronted by a woman. I was…not here for it. Of course most of the men there were like “yay” when it was their turn. I just, I don’t know, I wasn’t really into it. They were very gimmicky and sound-wise, they were fine but it wasn’t anything groundbreaking. I was actually pretty annoyed through most of their set because it was like more skit than singing. I did eventually warm up to them, and I especially appreciated the singer’s Obama shirt, but I would not go out of my way to see them again.

It’s whatever.

Oh! He did ask him someone at the barricade to tie his shoe for him and I was THANK GOD HE DIDN’T ASK ME because I totally still tie my shoes with bunny ears.

“Yeah really,” Henry said with a smirk when I screamed this into his ear that night.

Henry palate cleanser.

Plus my frizzy hair from standing in the rain.

BUT THEN HONEY REVENGE!!!

MY FAVES! The people next to me had left (the girl part of the couple was so drunk that she was resting her head in her arms across the barricade and her boyfriend/husband was PISSED when she wanted to leave—bro, take care of your girl, you fucking shithead!! THIS IS WHY I PREFER SHOWS WHERE MOST OF THE PEOPLE ARE UNDER 21!!!!!!!) so I was able to move over to the left a little and not have Christina and her idiot sister in front of me anymore. Idiot sister had spent the entire night chair-dancing these very interesting seemingly choreographed dances that looked like if a referee became a wrestler and then had to do a dance off in the ring. I have no other way to explain it. But it was very strange and METHINKS a lot of it was probably TikTok moves.

Anyway, OFC there was one point when she decided to eschew the seat she paid extra for in order to stand up right in front of my face and do a more pronounced version of her TikTok compilation dance, now with feet stomping.

It was fine. It was whatever. It was one song so I allowed it. But sheesh, was she an interesting specimen.

Ugh, that time I really regretted not standing in the pit. :(

Oh! And Devin picked someone to come up and sing during one of the songs AND GUESS WHO GOT PICKED? Molly! She was really having the best night. There was also a little girl who was desperate to get picked so Devin picked both and told them to share the mic and as soon as Devin turned around, Molly snatched the mic from the kid LOL

MY FOREVER FAVORITE:

I really have no words other than I JUST REALLY ENJOY HONEY REVENGE. They’re fun, their stage presence is fantastic, they are good, inclusive people, and I just genuinely REALLY like their songs. Like, not a skippable track in the list.

And lastly here’s my little shitty collection of clips I recorded throughout the night:

I can’t wait to wear my Summer School Tour shirt the next time I see Chooch, LOLOLOLOL.

In keeping up with the theme of “if it looks even mildly cool, we’re doing,” I bought us tickets to this…clown show? at the Glitterbox. Ever since we went there for that film screening, I have been pressed to go back. It is just such a cool vibe, exactly what has been missing from my life all these years. This clown show ad popped up on their Insta and I was like, “Ooh, I love clowns. And he’s from Philly! We’re going.”

I did absolutely NO RESEARCH into this after that.

OMG and as soon as we got there (ofc we were FIRST), we passed a tall guy in the parking lot who said, “I think you can just go in, the door should be open,” and Henry was like, “I THINK THAT WAS THE CLOWN” because unlike me, he actually clicked and dicked around the Internet in an attempt to understand what dark corners he was accompanying me to.

As soon as we went inside and had our tickets scanned, I immediately grabbed two seats in the front row. We were the FIRST PEOPLE IN THERE so I don’t know why I was being so maniacal about claiming seats. It wasn’t that deep.

I love Glitterbox Theater so much, have I mentioned that? The same guy who was there filling in for the concession stand person was scanning tickets at the door and I was happy to see him because he reminds me of Kurt Travis a little bit and has such a nice, chill aura. He gave me a free sticker this time! I’m hoping that by the 3rd or 4th visit, we’ll start to become recognizable to the GBT peeps and maybe Henry can even volunteer to work the concession stand, doling out Pirate Booty and cans of Athletic.

Pre-show view from our front row seats LOL. Henry was like WHY DID YOU PICK SEATS IN THE FRONT THIS IS GOING TO BE BAD. I said, “Oh god, I hope there isn’t going to be audience participation” and he was like THIS IS A CLOWN SHOW YOU KNOW THERE WILL BE.

Henry even knew where the plastic cups were located behind the concession stand—see? He could totally work there. It would probably end up being all Faygo and Arizona for sale though.

OK, I have learned so much about this blossoming scene since Tuesday so while I was like, “Who is this and what is this that they’re doing?” in the moment, I can now tell you that the opening act was Sara Cantner who I now know is really big in the local fringe comedy scene (I also just learned about this too! I had been calling it avant garde up until now but I guess “fringe” is the word) so to have her do an impromptu 5 minute crowd warmer was pretty cool, it turns out! She came out, barefoot in jean shorts and a black tank top, guns blazing in the form of comedic interpretive dance. While she was really funny, there were two women behind us HOWLING and egging her on. Honestly, they were being so over-the-top that they were actually making me laugh even harder. It was very infectious like parasitic produce!

I later learned that Sara is an instructor at the Glitterbox’s clown classes, has toured the country with her own one-person shows, and is also an instructor at the Arcade Comedy Club in Pgh. Her bio also says “award-winning” but I’m not sure what award she has won although I can tell you it was deserved! She gave Molly Shannon vibes.

THEN IT TURNED OUT THAT AT LEAST ONE OF THE WOMEN BEHIND US IS ALSO A CLOWN. We eventually realized as the night went on that pretty much everyone in attendance was a clown, a clown-in-training, or related to a clown. And then there was us, the outliers! Just like at the Sandy Loaf film screening, LOL! We are slowly infiltrating one underground scene at a time, you guys. Henry had no idea this is how he’d be living out his Empty Nest Years yet here we are!

Next, we had local clown O’Ryan the O’Mazing. Out of all three performers that night, he is the most “traditional” clown and according to his website, he does do a lot of performances for children. However! His skit this night was a little more adult-themed, starting off with snorting lines of confetti out of his palm with a noise maker. It was really funny!

The fingers!

Anyway, he was very funny and my face was starting to hurt from laughing. Meanwhile, there was a lady next to Henry who has RBF through the whole thing, I was so confused!

During the intermission, the headlining clown, Mitchell, began readying the stage for his performance, which involved him setting up a prop table RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.

OK…I truly don’t even know where to begin with this one but I am obsessed. At first, of course, I was like GIANT WTF. He came out from behind the curtains wearing, I don’t even know, just layers of clothing with a babushka type thing on his head, yelling in a very theatrical 1920s actress drawl and somewhere along the way it was revealed to us that he was an octopus and he was trying to get to Hollywood, and honestly I HAVE NO IDEA and had whiplash from the chaos splayed out before me, but it was A GOOD TIME.

Then there was an entire “horse doctor” segment and the pregnant lady’s wife got picked to be the doctor and then three other volunteers had to get up there and neigh, trot, and gallop. It was so FUCKING STUPID but incredibly hilarious and I was in tears.

Then there was this bizarre and hysterical Little Red Riding Hood skit with the line “better for slurping and derping and sucking and fucking” and the woman he picked from the audience to play the role of the grandma who had that line said, “Oh, you’re KIDDING me” in an exasperated “anyone but me” tone.

One of the clowns-in-training had to hold a pool noodle and pretend that it was the boom but was told firmly “not to be weird with it” and Mitchell’s mom got to be the camera person. THEN HENRY WAS HANDED A SPRAY BOTTLE OF WATER and was instructed to “make sure they get wet and I mean SOPPING wet.”

Oh, my stomach hurt so bad from laughing. Literally the whole night was pure chaos and I was so there for it.

I don’t have any pictures of this but actually my favorite part was when he came out from behind the curtain with a piece of cardboard held in front of his face. It had two holes cut out – one was a small square and another was a larger rectangle – and the way he was able to drag out a skit with no words and just peering out from the holes in this piece of cardboard was commemorable, honestly. It was SO FUNNY – he had someone (actually it was O’Ryan the O’mazing, now back in street clothes as an audience member) feeding him an apple? a lemon? through one of the holes and I was dying.

YOU HAD TO BE THERE.

I am NOT afraid of clowns by any stretch of the imagination but there was something about the vibe and theme of the night that was very nightmare fueling. In a good way, though. I felt uncomfortable and nervous at moments, but it was also so fucking ridiculous and hilarious. I really can’t explain it and trust me, I have tried to tell people about it since this night and they are always like “????”

We both had such a fantastic time and, having been thrown face first into the raging waters of clowncore, have already bought tickets for the next clown night at Glitterbox later this month!

But real quick, some more stuff about Mitchell Ryan: he’s from Philly and I have learned that there is a thriving clown scene there. He was telling us after the show to look up the Philly Clown Slams where a bunch of local Philly clowns and some visiting guest clowns as well get together and just perform these incredibly fringe, off-the-wall skits. Of course I told Chooch that he should go to one and he did not respond. I think he is so confused every time Henry and I go out and do something because it’s like we’re regressing rather than sitting at home watching our shows and getting old. (I mean, we also do that, too, don’t worry.)

Also, Philly was designated the “national center for clowns.” This is amazing. I am learning so much. Like, clowns don’t even have to dress like Bozo in order to be a clown. My friend Bill commented on my IG post and said that he too has noticed that the idea of “clowning” has really morphed into this cool and alternative (I think he also used the term sexy!) thing and it is TRUE. Mitchell’s set was definitely racy and a huge departure from your typical “twisting up balloon animals at Becky’s birthday party” that we tend to think of at the mention of clowns (or, you know, John Wayne Gacy).

When we were last with Shawn and Jess at the Greek food festival, I was lamenting over the fact that while I have a lot of interests, I have never really found my “group of people,” you know? Like, yes, I have my scenes (kpop, post-hardcore, horror) but the community/group aspect is not there. I don’t go to shows and make friends. I love horror and have gone to some horror events and have never felt like I belonged. Things like that.

But now I’m wondering – DID I JUST FIND MY PEOPLE?? I mean, I’m not saying I’m going to be signing up for clown classes anytime soon or ever, but I feel like I want to be friends with these people and I want to go out and make a conscious effort to support them. (Also, I suggested that Henry and I secretly train to become clowns and surprise Chooch with a public appearance when he’s home for the holidays but Henry frowned at that idea, and then when I was on the Glitterbox website and bluffed that I signed him up to volunteer for “any performances” he freaked out and yelled, “YOU DID NOT.”)

:)

I got an early start to my downtown solo day on Friday because Penelope woke me up during her witching hour and I never went back to bed. So I was basically killing time all morning before leaving at the reasonable hour of 8:15AM. It was basically like leaving for work but without the stress. And let me tell you, I would have been PISSED if I really was going downtown for work because it was already in the high 80s with humidity you could choke on. Honestly, it was choking a bitch out and I was that bitch.

Ugh, that brought back traumatic memories of walking into the office looking like a fucking swamp monster, face slick with a layer of oily sweat.

Now I was just walking into cafes looking at that, like a fucking greasy rat.

But…at least I got to cool off a bit on the T which was blessedly nearly empty thanks to most office people having the day off.

Anyway, I was excited to be on my own with my Charmera and a book. I usually just stay home when I have the day off and Henry has to work, so I’m glad that I committed to this plan because it turned out to be a pretty memorable day (BUT HOT AF).

Some Liberty Avenue snaps. Anthrocon was starting so downtown was actually pretty lively with furries arriving in droves. Most of them were no fursuited up though, and just had their lanyards on. But I did catch a handful of tails and ears! This is one of the things I miss most about not working from the office anymore. We used to get so collectively stoked for the furries. Most of the businesses down there do too, which is just so heartwarming—Pittsburgh can be so inclusive and welcoming when it wants to be.

And….segue to the killer killer killer graffiti lol. I appreciate that it looks like someone was practicing their cursive.

The fire station in the Strip has been putting out this sign for as long as I can remember. It’s so Pittsburgh.

This bar isn’t open anymore. It’s really crazy how much things in the Strip have changed since I used to work downtown. I walked down there quite often and now there are giant empty lots where buildings have been torn down and I can’t even remember what used to be there.

I do think it’s an actual crime that there is no music venue in this area anymore. (Well, the City Winery I guess but I mean a legit local venue like Metropol, Rosebud and Altar Bar. So weird to me.

Anyway! My first stop was Novaria. It’s a Syrian cafe and I was excited to get something, anything, iced. In fact, just skip the cup and dump that ice right down my shirt, please.

I got the “back home latte” which had date paste and cardamom. It was really good but the best part was the little chat I had with the barista whose name I later learned was Russell when some tech bro with a booming voice was jawing his ear off and bellowed, “Don’t take this the wrong way but you look like a Russell. Historically—” and then he went off some tangent about famous Russells but I couldn’t hear the rest because the two fucking obnoxious “we’re the main characters here” Gen Y ballet bun bitches started cackling over whatever basic conversation they were having.

All of this is to say that this place–or at least, the timing–was not conducive to getting any reading done. Especially not once Tech Bro sat at the table in front of me and then immediately proceeded to take a Very Important Business Call.

But back to Russell! We had a nice chat about physical media because he asked me what else I was planning to do on my “My House Has No A/C So I Don’t Want To Sit There All Day on My Day Off” adventure and I mentioned the possibility of browsing the records at Eide’s. He said he and his roommates just started a CD collection, and that he bought his boyfriend Miss Congeniality on VHS which I thought was cute. (Not the movie, but the gesture, I hate Sandra Bullock a lot.)

I told him about Chooch starting a DVD collection and my mom unhauling several boxes of them on him, and how these younger generations are really fighting back against digital media which I think is really admirable honestly. Also unexpected because these young kids seem, in general, so detached and incapable of caring about preserving ownership.

But yeah, speaking of! I went to Eide’s after that. They don’t have the greatest selection of vinyl but I was at the mercy of my own two feet and had to pretty much stick with the area the trolley dumped me off in. (I don’t do buses.)

I used to come here A LOT when I worked downtown and the same guy who was always on the vinyl floor then was there on this day too. It’s so wild to me because I definitely used to go there way more than Henry, but Henry is the one who is occasionally saying, “Hey it’s the guy from Eide’s” when we’re out and about. I felt like he just said this recently too but I couldn’t remember at the time.

So, he was there talking to someone who seemed like he was a regular customer, about Trump’s slush fund. I mean, they were like SCREAMING about it in disgust and while typically angry men would make me tense up, I instead felt like, “OK, this is a safe space.” Anytime I overhear strangers ranting about Trump, it’s like, “Good, these are my people. Let me have a go, too.”

Then their convo segued into one of them talking about their older female cat not eating that much and going from being chubby to skinny, and it was so bizarre because it could have been me saying those exact words about Penelope.

These were all the things I overheard while browsing the new vinyl section.

The one guy ended up leaving so the guy working there started watching MSNBC videos and again, I felt safe.

Eventually, I took my three picks up to the counter.

“Gunship!!! Great pick. You have excellent taste,” he said, obviously happy about this. “You know who else you might like, and I think we have it here—-” he started to say as he flipped to the next record in the stack I handed him. “Yep, you know!” he said, smiling and shaking his head as he held up The Midnight’s new record.

You guys!!! We had the lengthiest conversation about synth wave and he said he was at the Midnight show AND THAT IS WHERE HENRY SAID HE THOUGHT HE SAW HIM! He just kept shaking his head in surprise every time I knew of a band he was referencing and I felt so seen. When I say no one gives a shit about the music I like, I truly mean that. So to have this record store man validating me, I actually wish I had a video of it to rewatch every night before bed.

The conversation naturally segued into him talking about how he is normally into industrial and how his record label puts out these really compilations to benefit cancer research. He pointed to a display on the counter that showed the logo and said I could go to the website to learn more and I did a double take.

“That actually looks really familiar, like I was just on this website—-you’re not selling tickets to The Black Queen show, are you?” I asked, squinted at the display.

“Yes! I booked that show!” he exclaimed. I told him I bought tickets and he high-fived me! So then we talked about The Black Queen and I was like THIS IS THE BEST DAY I HAVE HAD IN A LONG TIME! Just the whole social connection aspect of it. Working from home—well, you know. I’m starved for these kinds of real life interactions. I hate “chatting” on Teams. I want to TALK for real. And not about work!! I feel like people ask me how my weekend was, etc and I just give vague wrap-ups because I know no one is genuinely going to give a shit about how we went to see Dance Gavin Dance and ran into our Sugarspell Scoops friend or how Henry was standing next to Danny Lohner during one of the opening bands for the The Black Queen. (Literally tried to excitedly tell someone and they were like “Sorry, I don’t know how that is.” Ugh. I am LONELY, lol.)

Anyway, we formally introduced ourselves —his name is Jim, I can stop calling him the Eide’s guy now!— and he even showed me some formatting issues he’s dealing with on his website and, I don’t know! It was just a really moment in my little “Erin Spreads Her Wings and Flies” day. I am so glad I decided to go out by myself. When I am by myself, I can small talk like I’m 1998 Erin again. I can’t explain it.

I left Eide’s with my new records in a paper bag which I had to tuck under my arm because it didn’t have a handle and it soaked up my sweat REAL QUICK. It was disgusting. The air was disgusting. I was disgusting. But I still one more stop on my list so I navigated through the hordes of furries (things were really start to rev up down there!) and made my way to Market Square. But first, I waved to my work. Hi, law firm!

The Boredom Set was my last stop. It was definitely not there when I used to work downtown – we had very little options back then outside of Starbucks. We used to have Crazy Mocha which was a local chain and I LOVED THAT PLACE but it got ran into the ground. That’s neither here nor there!

I was DOUBLY SWEATY by the time I made it here, as the temps were definitely well into the 90s at this point, so me and my Krispy Creme complexion crashed through the entrance of this…very un-Burgh-like cafe. The interior was cute at a glance but then I quickly began to scrutinize the furniture positioning and the fact that there is a huge goldenrod curtain that runs down the middle of the space—what are they hiding back there. I don’t know, it was an oddly designed space and that made me uncomfortable not to mention the barista had NO PERSONALITY and high-key made me feel like I was a nuisance for giving her work to do.

“Just so you know there is oat milk and whole milk in this,” she monotoned in the style of THAT GENERATION after I ordered the banana milk matcha latte, no eye contact, yes annoyance. I just said yes, because I know, banana milk is milk.

I was obsessing over her rudeness for a good portion of the day, and clearly into the next day.

It was good but that’s probably because of the banana milk, who knows if the matcha itself was any good, but judging by their Instagram, they seem SUPER INTO BEING COFFEE SHOP PROS so I’m going to assume it was OK even though I didn’t clock what matcha they use there.

I sat next to a table of four furries. They weren’t in full-fur but one of them did have his head on the table.

One of the tables was RIGHT in front of the door to t he restroom which seemed incredibly awkward. Please read an article on Feng shui and fix this, I don’t know, the whole seating arrangement just felt so off to me.

BUT! Other than that, it was somehow quite comfortable vibe-wise. I was actually able to read some chapters AND journal AND send Chooch pictures of my vinyl haul in between eavesdropping on the barista talking to some older man about friend drama she was going through, which softened me to her because a lot of what she was saying was HASHTAG RELATABLE GIRL, I FELT THAT.

I was looking at their Instagram today because I do want to go back (they have another location in a clothes shop in Shadyside so maybe that one…) and try just their drip coffee since they seem to really do a lot of flexing on how INTO THE SCIENCE OF COFFEE they are. Anyway, in my Insta travels, I found the barista who is engaged to the owner, so that tracks. It’s not like she’s going to get fired.

It was around noon by this point and Henry was leaving work, so I walked around the area a little bit to get some more pictures before catching the T back home.

Half-furry.

As mentioned, downtown businesses REALLY lean into Anthrocon and I have always loved that. Unlike the stupid draft, they probably do benefit from this crowd! I mean, furries gotta eat.

And then I was pretty much down for the count for the rest of the day. Exhausted. My body felt like melted rubber. I was COOKED.

Next time I do this, hopefully it won’t be during a heatwave, lol.