LET ME SHOW YOU MY AUTUMN TREES. 

I’m such a big believer in superstitions and “jinxing” that I always hesitate to say things like this, but our October so far has been really, really nice and my outlook on life in general has improved so much recently, but I’m also over here lowkey waiting for the other shoe to fall (what does that even mean!??! I mean, I know what it means, but WHY? Google is my friend, I know, but I’m too tired for research on this fine Monday morning).

Anyway, I have so much to say as always! But for now, because it’s Monday and my brain is like, “Ew plz, don’t make me think,” I’ll just post some pictures from our day yesterday because it was so autumnal and sunshiney out!

We got properly caffeinated at Spigolo before attempting another disastrous photo shoot. I had a hot fig and sage latte—it was divine. I wish we had a place like this in Brookline and not shitty 802 Coffee (I HATE WHEN BUSINESSES NAME THEMSELVES AFTER THEIR STREET ADDRESS), I’d be walking there daily.

I wrote a little bit in my haunted house while we were there and Henry was like, “Oh, you brought that with you. Yay.”

This place is sincerely precious. And I had a really good strawberry rugelach from Pigeon Bagels that they were selling there. Impeccable pairing!

Afterward, we went to Homewood Cemetery because I have three cameras with film that I’m trying to use up here sooner rather than later (actually 4!!! but I only brought 3 of them). I thought the cem would be a good place to snap some shots especially with all the beautiful fall foliage. But then I had the audacity to ask Henry to do some SENIOR PORTRAIT type shit for me and of course this started a huge fight because — look, I know I am homely — but this man somehow makes me look like I belong in a dumpster behind an abandoned motel full of squatters and meth heads.

Dead or alive – picture that as you’d like.

This is what happens when Henry says, “OK, do something.”

  

We went to see Movements last week – I still have to recap that on here but rest assured it was a fantastic show! This is re: my shirt, btw.

“TAKE A PICTURE OF ME DOING THE SAME THING AS THAT STONE BITCH!”

Henry’s composition skills are lacking. You’d think he’d have learned a thing or two by now, having such a mouthy and brutally honest subject.

Anyway…

It was a perfect cemetery day. And then later we went to a haunted house two-ish hours away in West Virginia and there is just something so romantic and “early relationship stage” about driving home from a haunted house in the dark, I can’t explain it but it’s my most favorite romantic vibe ever. I can’t believe another October is almost over already, UGH.

P.S. Fun fact: Did you know that in the beginning, Henry and I were trying to keep our relationship on the DL because we worked together. My dear office mom Carol was the only one who knew. THEN!! One night, we were at a redlight on the West End, en route to a haunted house in Coraopolis, holding hands and all that NEW LOVE bullshit, when I looked out of the passenger side window and saw someone in the car next to us, waving with a GOTCHA smile on his face. Totally some asshole butcher we worked with who also happened to be a HUGE kiss ass to the bosses. So by the following Monday, every-fucking-body knew.

Sigh.

Fuck you forever, Jimmy Landis.

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Ahhh, guess what?? Last week, I got to be a stand-in for Kara’s husband Chris at the Smashing Pumpkins concert! I was so excited when she asked me if I wanted to use his ticket because I had been going back and forth for mths on whether to buy a ticket. 

Henry dropped me off and was happy to go home and have a night off from me dragging him all around. Who even knows what he did—watched something dumb probably. Read the circulars (after digging them out of the garbage because I always pitch them immediately LOL).

My hair being unruly as usual. 

So, the show itself was fantastic. Love to see legends up there killing it. The last time I saw the Pumpkins, it was essentially just Billy Corgan as the only OG member. Actually, I can’t even remember what the deal was now but I saw them at the Carnegie Music Hall in Homestead, which is a small theater—why was that a small theater tour?!

I think this was 2014 or 2015. 

 P.S. Also obsessed with Kiki Wong now, she was doing the LORD’S WORK up there, good goddamn.

Before the show started, Kara and I were chatting about how terrible concert etiquette has become, primarily with the CHATTY CATHY takeover that seems to be ubiquitous at nearly every show now. And we totally jinxed ourselves because the three GROWN ASS MEN in front of us proceeded to talk (and I mean TALK) during the entire first set of the show. There was not ONE song that they didn’t talk through! And if they weren’t talking, they were texting / Facebooking / scrolling with FULL BRIGHTNESS LEVEL screens. 

Kara became obsessed with trying to figure out their relationship with each other because one guy was quite a bit older than the other two who looked like they were late 40s. My guess was that they were co-workers who should have either stayed home and watch Smashing Pumpkins videos on YouTube or just gone to a fucking bar, I don’t know. Have you ever tried to talk to the person next to you at a concert? It’s not easy! You have to shout! This is why I just save my comments for afterward, and, you know, also because I paid money to hear a band perform and not the sound of my own voice??

There was a 20 minute intermission between sets (there was no opening band – just the Smashing Pumpkins from 8pm until 11pm, it was GLORIOUS!) during which the three Yinzer bros stood up and continued the coffee klatch. This was fine by us, talk it up, get it all out of your systems! We did have a few loud comments though about how obnoxious it is to talk during a concert and the ringleader (ofc he had on a Steelers hat) glanced back at us so I thought maybe he had taken the hint.

Nope! The second set started and they sat down but continued their conversation at a LOUDER volume. They weren’t even talking ABOUT THE CONCERT. They were talking about NASCAR at one point!

A few songs into the second set, Kara leaned forward and – in a polite tone BECAUSE YOU CAN NEVER BE TOO CAREFUL WHEN DEALING WITH FRAGILE MEN – said, “You know, some of us are here to actually hear the band, not your conversation” and the RINGLEADER sputtered (literally, I have never had a use for that word until now), “Oh yeah? Really! Yeah well…I paid to be here too!” 

I was on high alert now because this could have easily spiraled out and made him ramp up the yapping to an exaggerated degree, but instead, HE SULKED. Literally, he sunk back lower in his seat with his arms crossed. The guy to the right didn’t even appear to know anything had happened, but the older man in front of me actually turned his body slightly away from the ringleader and focused on the concert for the rest of the time. 

Also in our favor was the fact that they did not appear to be drinking, at least.

Kara said she told her kids, “I’m about to say something to these dorks so if they start a fight with me, record it.” LOL.  

“Big man!” Kara kept saying in a cry-baby voice after his super important and sensitive feelings got BIG HURT by the MEAN WOMAN at the Smashing Pumpkins concert, and I was dying! Props to Kara for saying something. Confrontation is so scary these days, especially for women, and I was quietly cracking my knuckles in case there was retaliation. The worst concert experience I ever had was when Chooch was younger and I took him to see The Summer Set at some small venue in Columbus that was full of fuck ass OSU bitches who were pushing us so hard (we were standing AT THE SIDE OF THE STAGE) and I tried to nicely say, “Hey I have a kid here can you please don’t push us?” and it just made it worse until the guys they were with stepped in and made them stop. But this was after it went on for nearly the whole set. And yes, I know—college guys actually being decent?! Anomaly. It was such a shitty experience though, like, please don’t make me get in a physical altercation in front of my elementary school-aged son, thanks. 

Anyway, the men (I kept imagining that it was the Impractical Jokers in front of us, they were that level of dork) ended up leaving before the end of the show and we just started cracking up so hard as they slithered past us, like a buncha boys who were scolded by their mom.

I know that sounds like it probably ruined the night but it really didn’t—I was so happy to get to be there with Kara and her kids, hearing a bunch of nostalgic and iconic songs that made me feel like I was back in high school riding around with Lisa in her parents’ minivan with the radio tuned to the Revolution and me acting like I didn’t like it because I was in my R&B and gangsta rap phase while secretly clocking certain songs. All these years later and “Today” is still my favorite. I don’t care how stereotypical that is, it’s such a comfort jam for me, and I still remember being a kid and seeing the music video for the first time and thinking it was so cool. 

But yeah, can we all just stop treating concerts like they’re a porch hangout? Save all the talking for post-show drinks! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. 

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In an effort to stop myself from getting even more behind with life recaps on here, I am going to attempt to liveblog from Four Chord today. Should be super annoying!

We have to leave here around 11 to take the T to Station Square so Henry should be at least happy that we don’t have to deal with parking or driving or getting a hotel. He’s being super curmudgeonly about this though and I guess who can blame him, bro is 61 and just spent three full days at Riot Fest with little to no sitting down, then got dragged to a late show on a work night, and now another all day music festival today, all within the same week not to mention the “there and back” trip to Columbus last week for another show the night before we left for Chicago for Riot Fest.

I guess that’s a lot. Lol. But it was kind of cute because when I was upstairs getting ready, he was in Chooch’s room folding laundry with music blasting and I go, “are you….listening to bayside?”

“I don’t know, it’s a Four Chord playlist,” he muttered, walking past me with an armful of my freshly folded concert shirts lol. I mean props to him for trying to prepare!

11:08am: Well we’re off to a great start – we turned back so I could get my Jean jacket and Henry realized he brought the wrong keys so now he is attempting to break into the house. And HNC is out here making it worse. Never mind he is supplying Henry with a hammer to break into the basement lol.

FYI I haven’t had a window here since 2001 when some kids broke into my house and stole CDs and the landlord never fixed it.

11:36am: on the dumb T now and my stupid barcode thing didn’t scan at first – I hate that they switched from ConnectCard to whatever this newfangled thing is!!! And these annoying bros decided to stand right behind out seats when the whole fucking T is empty and they can kindly park their asses away from us.

One of us is happier than the other.

12:24pm: inside now and immediately lost Henry to the bathrooms. Srsly where is he???

12:29pm JFC he was waiting by the bathrooms because he thought I was in there too ughhhh.

1:05pm: Heading North! My friend Wendi is friends with them!

super good female fronted pop punk!

Shark fact from Heading North! Sharks favorite music is death metal.
also I just hit the beach ball into some guy and knocked his glasses off.

I am an absolute menace with these beach balls. I just kicked one really hard into the back of some kid and Henry was like JFC.
1:28pm: OK fully obsessed with Heading North now. Even when Henry wouldn’t dance with me. Girl pop punk forever leading the way.

now I’m standing alone at the Smartpunk Stage waiting for Don’t Panic and for Henry to look for a hat to buy. His new thing is buying a hat at every concert we go to. FYI.

2:14pm: Don’t Panic was great but I lost my picture because my blog crashed yay.
now it’s Keep Flying and Henry is being annoying.
wait I found it!

and here is Keep Flying.

2:36pm: just stood in the longest bathroom line because men have it easy and women have to suffer. Now it’s time for Patent Pending.

PATENT PENDING I FORGOT I LIKED THEM

 

 

Rishi from Eternal Boy / founder of Four Chord!

 

 

3:09pm Eternal Boy!

 

Why was I crying during Rishi’s DIY speech. Also I have never seen security encouraging crowd surfing.
3:41PM henry is back from resting in the bleachers.

 

 

 

HIT THE LIGHTS!

 

4:16pm Mic broke during last song and the crowd held it down it was awesome.
4:21pm: Driveways!

they’re trying to get rid of tote bags and they’re making ppl crowd surf for them. Henry wouldn’t do it for me lol.

Someone got hurt so they had to stop their last song while security helped them. :/

4:54pm:

FINCH JFC CRYING

 

omg these two little girls next to me went FERAL at one point, shrilling all high pitched and waving to someone on the side of the stage?? They had PTV shirts on and Vic written on their faces so I was like…is it Vic?? But I couldn’t see anyone?! It was so annoying – they were shrieking and waving at what??

5:30: Cartel!

5:47pm food time!

6:10pm my least favorite band Motion City Soundtrack is playing now so we’re taking a rest on the bleachers – my first time sitting since we got off the T at 11:30am lol.
We had to sit through MCS at Riot Fest last weekend while we were eating and that was enough for me.

6:22pm: Henry just sat down so dramatically Jesus Christ.

this girl is walking around asking people if they want glitter and Henry is pissed that they snubbed him.

 

also this beer is not good.

I think I’m so annoyed about MCS because they had like 3 LAST CHANCE TO SEE US WE’RE BREAKING UP tours and then the inevitable REUNION TOURS and it’s just like OK that’s nice but sit down.

6:54pm: Mom Jeans!

obsessed with beach balls today for some reason.

yeah I’m just really in my beach ball sunset era.
7:29pm: strategy is to just stay over at the main stage from this point on because the field is filling up so we can’t see State Champs but we can hear them! Also Mom Jeans was throwing burgers into the crowd so that was gross and I’m glad I wasn’t in direct proximity of that!!

Oh my GOD it feels amazing to sit.
8:03pm: OK I forgot how good State Champs are, bro. Also Henry is currently navigating though the dark crowds to the bathroom. Will he make it back to me?! It could be a Hallmark movie.

Hi I just took a picture with the flash on and that was embarrassing.

8:33pm: Boys Like Girls!

 

I liked them! I thought I didn’t know any of their songs but then I knew the last one. They had a really epic stage presence but there was a lot of filler and he did the whole “You sing this part” crowd engagement but it went on for so long and then the song became like 8 minutes long. But overall, it was really cool to see them and they had a lot of pyrotechnics which permeated my nose with the comforting stench of a kerosene heater while also providing bursts of warmth. (It’s cold now!)

9:03PM: Mayday Parade is playing their headlining set on the smaller SmartPunk stage and then PTV is at 9:50 LET’S GO RIOT FEST DO-OVER!! (But Erin, we don’t know what that means because you have not recapped Riot Fest yet. UGH I KNOW, STEP OFF!)

9:18pm: I think those little girls during Finch were shrieking because the Mayday Parade singer was standing on the side?? I did see him there but forgot that is what he looked like and now that I’m seeing them for the first time in years it’s all starting to click. But it was still super feral – not really necessary to scream like you’re seeing Michael Jackson play in Japan in the 80s.
9:28pm: Mayday Parade just said that they’ve been a band for 21 years WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME.

11:25pm: We just got on the T with a bunch of annoying Four Chord attendees but omg PTV was magical. This was RIOT FEST REDEMPTION – for one thing, I could actually SEE THEM not to mention I was standing on dry and clean turf and not sinking in thick sludgy mud.

 

Henry actually clapped at one point when Vic told us to and that is the first time he has ever gone along with crowd participation?! And he was tapping on my shoulders. Henry was feeling stuff, you guys. We’re finally breaking him.

well I’m going to post this now and I’ll clean it up + add more band info tomorrow I guess because god only knows how fucked this post is since I used the shitty WordPress app.

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SETLIST:

• • • • • ACT I BIGBANG
          • • FANTASTIC BABY
            • HANDS UP
            • TONIGHT
            • BLUE
            • LOSER
            • IF YOU
            • BAD BOY
            • BAE BAE
            • HARU HARU
            • LIES
              • Band interlude with “La La La” “Fxxk It” “Flower Road” “Alive”
        • ACT II CHAOS
          • • UNIVERSE (Daesung solo)
            • WINGS (Daesung solo)
            • HANDO-CHOGUA (Daesung solo)
            • LOOK AT ME GWISUN (Daesung solo)
            • BAD (Taeyang solo)
            • RINGA LINGA (Taegyang solo)
            • LIVE FAST DIE SLOW (Taeyang solo)
            • POWER (GD solo)
            • CRAYON (GD solo)
            • CROOKED (GD solo)
        • ACT III COSMOS
          • • BANG BANG BANG
            • STUPID LIAR
            • SOBER
            • WE LIKE 2 PARTY
            • BiiiG
            • HOME SWEET SWEET (GD’s song featuring Daesung and Taeyang)
        • ENCORE
          • • MY HEAVEN
            • SUNSET GLOW
            • LAST FAREWELL
            • FEELING
            • FLOWER ROAD
            • STILL LIFE

OK, it’s now or never. This is going to be a mess because I’m still in the *SCREAMS IN HANGUEL* stage of my post-concert depression but what better time to do a recap I guess?

First of all, I have never been to a stadium concert before. I don’t think the Stray Kids one last year counts because that venue in Toronto was weird and didn’t seem nearly as big as MetLife. Once we got to our section and started walking down the steps, I was like, “WHOA.” (Please also remember I do not go to football games, LOL. I have never even once set foot inside Heinz Field or whatever the fuck they’re calling it these days.) I never even really went to ARENA concerts before I got into Kpop. I’m a small venue girlie! I like my bands relatively unknown, I guess.

So, this was next level.

We were in section 115, row 21, seats 1 and 2. I had the presale code because I’m a true VIP (no literally, I pay to be in BIGBANG’s fan club because I’m a kid) but I refused to get floor seats. I did that for Stray Kids and we couldn’t see anything! I do highkey regret not splurging for one of the VIP packages but there was no soundcheck with any of them though!

Anyway, sometime after 8PM the video for BIGBANG’s new single BIIIG was playing on the screen and then suddenly the volume was jacked up and everyone was like LET’S GOOOOOOO!! This is my favorite thing about big shows (Again, never have seen non-Kpop concerts in big venues – aside from Bon Jovi and Phil Collins in the 1990s LOL – so I don’t know if this is a universal signal for “show’s about to start, people” or if it’s just a Kpop thing? Chat, comment and let me know lol). I started crying and mewling, “OMG OMG OMG” immediately. Nothing could have prepared me for this moment.

Ten years, you guys. Ten years. Because of course they were last in the US in 2015 when I was only equating Kpop to “fun workouts, yay!” If only I was one year sooner.

Once the opening VR ended, they came out to FANTASTIC BABY! EVERYONE WAS SCREAMING! I have never felt more connected to strangers ever in my life at a concert but you could just FEEL 50,000 people being healed at once. It was party vibes from then until 11PM.

My pictures and videos are shit because WHO CARES?? I WAS FANNING MYSELF OVER BIGBANG AND CRYING AND DOING FACE-SPLITTING SMILING AND PINCHING MYSELF AND JUST BEING IN ABSOLUTE AWE.

Henry even stood up the whole time! (Except during the breaks but even I was sitting down for those too.) I hate that I always have to stress this but Henry genuinely likes Kpop but even moreso he sincerely LOVES BIGBANG. He was folding clothes in Chooch’s room over the weekend blasting them! Right now as I write this, he’s singing BANG BANG BANG to Penelope!

Let’s ask him what his favorite part: “I don’t have a favorite part, I liked it all.” OK. Great talk.

I think for me, my favorite part was literally just being in the same place as them after ten years of fanatically watching their live performances on YouTube and wishing that someday I could see them and feel that energy. It is everything I imagined it would be plus so much more. Their charisma is unmatched. They are considered legends for a reason – they are effortless performers, our unsynchronized kings.

AND THEY ARE SO FUNNY! Their banter — OMG I finally got to see them fuck around with each other in real life and it was like 50,000 of us were in on inside jokes all night long. Daesung mocking us for mumbling the Korean parts. Taeyang saying, “No. Don’t tell me to take it off” and talking about being old. G-Dragon recognizing Those LED Girls and just looking like he was having the best time being back on stage with his brothers.

They ALL looked happy. Like BIGBANG never stopped. Like no time has passed.

AND DAESUNG BROUGHT THE TROT TO NEW JERSEY! Trot is like traditional Korean pop music, like easy-listening soft rock for old Korean people. But Daesung loves to sing trot and even PERFORMED HIS TROT SONGS AT COACHELLA. It was the first time trot was ever performed at Coachella and WE WERE FREAKING IT OUT! It was such a “OH HE DID THAT!!” moment.

I never thought I would get to see Daesung in real life!! And my favorite part is that his styling during this comeback is so similar to his look for the FXXK IT comeback era which is when he quickly my first BIAS:

This was 10 years and he still looks that good!

I feel like after every song, I turned around and mouthed, “HOLY SHIT I’M DYING” to Henry.

From finally hearing Daesung’s live vocals, watching Taeyang dance, and literally having religious moments over G-Dragon’s entire aura (THAT MAN IS TRULY ONE OF A KIND), the overstimulation was real.

Is this what Beatlemania was like??

“Lies” is one of my favorite songs of all time and I actually had to stop listening to it during the “dark years” for BIGBANG because it upset me too much. I am so happy to be able to enjoy it again and SEE THEM PERFORM IT LIVE!!

Taeyang’s solo set was majestic – “Bad,” “Live Fast Die Hard” and ofc “Ringa Linga.”

GD did “Power,” “Crayon,” and “Crooked” and I know this was a BIGBANG show but HOLY SHIT, seeing GD’s solo performances will never get old to me. He is mesmerizing. I follow a GF Fashion account and love to see them posting the designers and costs of everything he was wearing. Usually that stuff sickens me but with GD, I’m like, “YES KING” because he doesn’t seem like an entitled asshole about it.

I use this app called Minutiae and you get 5 seconds to take a picture of what’s in front of you, no filters, whenever the notification comes through. I’m usually ALWAYS AT HOME but this time I WAS AT BIGBANG!!!

I loved seeing Jiyong so happy and free.

I was texting my friend Lauren about this the next day because when we used to work in the office, I sat behind her and we would gush over GD’s fashion together. She was one of the few people who was genuinely nice to me about my…lifestyle transitioning lol and willing to watch Kpop videos, etc. Anyway, I was like, “Yeah and he was wearing an I <3 NY shirt that probably cost $5000.” But then the GD Fashion site was like, “Actually…” so I had to send it to her, like, “Well, I undershot that one.” LOL. It was like $7000+!!! KING.

 

Taeyang doing the full bow at the end. I’m crying.

Some of my favorite moments:

• GD remembering Those LED Girls from his Ubermensch solo concert last year in Newark. I love these girls – they’ve popped up at so many Kpop concerts I’ve been to over the years. I’m not sure if this is accurate but I feel like they started doing this at NCT concerts? Anyway, I love how GD says “stop it”!!

https://youtube.com/shorts/zMt3oGetrFU?si=-bdxBOtieZU8SIWf

• Daesung jokingly mocking us for mumbling the Korean parts LOL. Bro, the struggle is real though. I have been trying to learn Korean since 2017 and even though I can sing these songs in my head, my tongue does not want to cooperate when it’s time to belt out loud.

• OMG my stomach hurt from laughing – it was like a comedy show in between songs with these three:

G-Dragon’s Instagram story used a Backstreet Boys songs AND at one point, when he said something about carefully planning the comeback step by step, he paused and started singing NKOTB’s Step by Step:

Jeff Benajmin wrote a really great recap for Billboard: BIGBANG Celebrate 20 Years at MetLife Stadium Concert: Best Moments

---

OMG Henry has decided to contribute! Here are his favorite picks of the night:

Henry is a super fanboy for BIIIG; anytime it comes on in the car he turns it up:

OMG I’m so happy he included this one because I loved it so much too – Daesung is such a shining diamond:

---

I can’t believe it’s over. I have been having the best time commiserating with other post-concert depression afflicted VIPs on Threads, where all of my BIGBANG content actually gets engagement. I’m at LET’S GET BIGBANG TATTOOS levels of hysteria right now. (Henry and I have actually talked about getting a matching GD peaceminusone daisy on our hand so maybe we will do that at some point?!) I just want to run around my neighborhood and scream STAN BIGBANG but all my MAGA neighbors will be like, “Stan what now? Is this a new rifle manufacturer I should know about?”)

It’s crazy the amount of nostalgia I felt for something that I have only been into for 10 years. There is something about the older BIGBANG songs though that actually make me feel like I had experienced it in real time back in the early 2000s. Ugh, I really wish I had. You know, I always blame Henry for this because before he moved in with me, I used to have all of these TV channels and some of them were Asian so in like, 2000 and 2001 I was watching Kdramas and Kpop videos without even knowing it was Korean, just that I was obsessed with it. But then Henry moved in and eventually was like, “WE PAY TOO MUCH FOR CABLE, A LOT OF THESE CHANNELS ARE UNNECESSARY” and cut back on it but in doing so, all of my Asian channels were taken away. (He wasn’t talking about those ones when he wanted to cut back, but the Asian channels were a part of whatever deluxe packaging he wanted to get rid of. To be fair, we did not have much money back then, LOL.) But yeah, I think about that sometimes because what if I still had those channels and got to be there for BIGBANG’s debut in 2006??? (See also: The year of Chooch’s debut.)

I was desperate to see them and now I’m desperate to see them AGAIN. G-Dragon said that this is just the beginning and they have more new music coming so FINGERS CROSSED that this wasn’t just a once in a lifetime moment for me.

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I am sure I have written about this at some point but I thought it would be worth repeating before getting into the meat of the BIGBANG concert to give more context to what this meant to me. It’s so much more than just their music.

OK, PICTURE ME CRACKING MY KNUCKLES HERE REAL QUICK.

So, in 2015 I started accidentally doing Kpop cardio workouts, having no idea what it was, just that I was having so much fun. I liked the music but it was also the aerobic rendition of the dance moves and the instructors that kept me coming back. I wasn’t actively looking up the music videos or anything. This was STRICTLY AEROBIC.

Then, in early 2016, we had a ton of trauma involving my aunt Sharon and my grandparent’s house. She had basically become incapacitated and after years of not allowing anyone in the house, my brother and mom had to break in after she wasn’t responding to them. Long story short, she had been HEAVY HOARDING, ended up in the hospital and went from bad to worse to gone in the span of a several months. We also found out that the house was no longer in the family and belonged to the bank. Months and months of cleaning out the house (and it’s…not a small house) and trying to salvage what we could, plus a fallout with my brother and TONS of repressed grief flooding back sent me on a scary spiral. I was so depressed and stressed that even people at work were like, “No offense but you look really…tired.” I had TONS of gray hair sprouting out left and right on top of it all plus I had all but completely stopped doing my Kpop workouts and started stress eating.

By the end of 2016, I thought maybe it would help to have a Xmas party because in addition to my personal strife, TRUMP had just been elected for his first term and we were ALL going through it. I was making a playlist for it and Henry was like, “JESUS CHRIST, what kind of a playlist is this!? It sounds like funeral music!” because I was purposely filling it with goth and sad boy emo. To be a shit, I sneered, “FINE, I’LL ADD SOME KPOP THEN!” and threw on some stuff that I recognized from my workouts.

This essentially had me revisiting those workouts and then becoming mildly parasocial obsessed with this one girl—Jellybeannose. She made a few routines that I genuinely liked but admittedly most of her videos were too advanced for me because they weren’t the aerobicly watered down versions of choreo but the ACTUAL choreography from various Kpop videos. It turned out she used to go to various Kpop conventions and MC this thing called “random dance” where they play 20 – 30 seconds of popular Kpop songs and if you know the dance, you run out into the middle floor and do it. At some point she had won a dance competition or something which had her going to KOREA. Now look, I still at this point was not into Korea at all, knew nothing about it, had still never even watched a Kpop video. I was just ALL ABOUT THE FITNESS. So, now she’s in Korea and posting these vlogs on YouTube and I’m sitting here like, wow, I have never really paid attention to Korea before outside of horror movies….

At some point that December, she had a video where her and two friends were so excited because a new BIGBANG video had come out, so they filmed themselves reacting to it. Now, this was 2016, so unlike reaction videos today, you couldn’t see what they were watching, the camera was just showing them. And they were POPPIN’ OFF over this video. Rolling on the floor screaming about G-Dragon, who had what hair color. So after this, I said to probably just my cats, “Well, now I have to watch this video and see for myself.”

The song in question:

When I say I was hooked…

I don’t know where Henry was at the time but I distinctly remember him coming home (probably from THE STORE) and screaming at him, “YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS, I’M OBSESSED.”

And from there it was, “I wonder which one is G-Dragon?”

And then, “I wonder what’s so great about G-Dragon…..oh. I get it now.”

And then, “I will never learn their names.”

And then, “Kang Daesung was my first bias but now I love G-Dragon and his Korean name is Kwon Jiyong.”

It didn’t take long for Henry and Chooch to get on board. Soon we were watching variety shows that BIGBANG had appeared on, like Running Man and Knowing Bros. And then Henry’s looking up flights to Korea “just to see.”

But the thing is, I was at rock bottom in 2016. Maybe I was having suicidal ideations. I felt lost. Angry. Sad. Traumatized. Losing my grandparents’ house–the house I spent most of my childhood in and held only good memories for me–was gone. My aunt Sharon, who I was estranged from, was gone. There was no closure. Every day felt like one continuous nightmare.

Then this shiny group of Korean guys with pastel hair came into my life and opened up a whole new world to me, literally. I became so interested in Korean culture SO QUICKLY and felt this odd sense of comfort and familiarity which is crazy because I obviously had never been to Korea before and I had never even considered going there. But the language did some kind of magical massage on my brain (and heart) and suddenly I was a new person, with a new lifestyle and interests. I was so excited to come home from work every day, eat Korean food and watch K-dramas after doing K-cardio. I had 10 years worth of BIGBANG backlog to dive into on YouTube. Music shows. Award shows. Variety shows.

Maybe saying “BIGBANG saved my life” comes off as super melodramatic and eye-rolly, but at the very least, they CHANGED my life. I never want to go back to how I was prior to this.

Of course, right after I started “stanning” them (another thing I quickly learned about then!) I also learned about Korea’s mandatory military requirement and how Kpop idols aren’t exempt. And just my luck, one of the BIGBANG members was set to enlist early in 2017, so soon after I got into them.

From there, it’s been scandals and heartbreak galore, to the point where it seemed like BIGBANG was never getting back together. I would never get to see them. VIPs (their fandom name) were depressed but refused to give up. We kept holding on, even when BTS’s shitty and toxic fans tried to create more scandals and rumors, cyber bullied VIPs, etc. while their stupid  group rose up and took BIGBANG’s top spot during their hiatus.

It’s been a long and depressing 10 years, and to be honest, after awhile I couldn’t even listen to their music anymore because it hurt so much.

One of the members was involved in a scandal so big that actual documentaries were made about it (one of Chooch’s friends watched it and texted him like, “Hey isn’t G-Dragon that guy your mom likes?” and I was so excited that he was asking Chooch and Chooch goes, “Yeah but it’s because he watched something about the Burning Sun scandal.” UGH.) and another member literally had to go on military trial for MARIJUANA ACCUSATIONS and ended up in the hospital in a coma after overdosing because of the fucking stress of it all. Thank god he survived, but he left the entertainment industry after that, and only just recently came back (he was in season 2 of Squid Game!) and just put out a solo album too! Unfortunately, he officially left BIGBANG.

Last summer, G-Dragon did his solo tour and teased a BIGBANG reunion because this year is their 20th anniversary. We already knew that he is still very good friends with two other members—Daesung and Taeyang—but he kept dropping these little hints that it was going to be 4 of them. So, we all really thought he was going to get T.O.P. to come back.

But, it didn’t happen. And you know, I think most of us normal fans are at peace with that now. T.O.P. is thriving on his own and we’re happy about that, and BIGBANG is back as a trio and while that was hard to accept at first, it’s actually really awesome seeing them so happy together.

They made their official debut as a trio at one of the end of the year Korean awards shows when Daesung and Taeyang came out to perform Home Sweet Home with G-Dragon, a song on his solo album that features them. Then they also did two old BIGBANG songs together and it was UNREAL. The younger idols in the audience were freaking out so hard!

Anyway, when BIGBANG announced their world tour a few mths ago, I was so excited but also super emotional about it because HOLY SHIT WAS I FINALLY GOING TO GET TO SEE BIGBANG?! Even if it was just three of them, BEGGARS CAN’T BE CHOOSERS!

All of this should help you understand why I was legit SICK TO MY STOMACH on the drive to New Jersey Friday morning. Literally, I almost three up. Sure, maybe some of that was because I drank too. much coffee in a very short time frame, but I think nerves and crazy heightened emotions had a lot to do with it.

This was more than “Oh look, Erin is being fucking sappy about music again.” This was something that felt so unbelievable to me, something that I had resigned myself to accept was never going to happen. I was grateful that I had gotten to see G-Dragon and Taeyang solo, but hearing BIGBANG songs performed live was not in the cards.

Literally the whole drive there, I kept thinking, “This isn’t real, this isn’t real.” And yet….

*************

After a light lunch at some place called Third Wave Cafe (I had an acai bowl and who cares what Henry had, I was too busy ignoring the loud college baseball players next to us and watching the women’s doubles US Open finals) we were able to check in to our hotel, get ready, and then immediately go to MetLife Stadium a bit after 3PM. Henry had prepaid for parking and they said the lot was opening at 3:30, but it was already opened when we got there, AND there was already a huge line for early merch which was was the whole reason why we got there early. WTF MetLife.

But first! On our way through the parking lot to the merch line, WE HEARD DAESUNG SOUNDCHECKING ONE OF HIS SOLO SONGS – UNIVERSE! I started crying IMMEDIATELY. My first time hearing Daesung’s voice in real life?!

I’m going to keep this next part short and sweet but early merch wasn’t supposed to start until 3:30 but apparently opened early so by the time we got in line around 3:15 it was already outrageously long (though—it didn’t LOOK that long) and the line was cut off shortly after we got into it.

It ended up being THREE HOURS in that line, under a cloudless sky, the sun beating us while we were down. There was not one happy person in that line after the first hour passed, ESPECIALLY the girl right behind us who was basically standing on our backs she was so up in our space!

After hour two, Henry finally got out of line to fetch waters for us because I was legitimately starting to sway and my mouth was so gummy. Then some asshole MetLife white male yelled at him for trying to get back into line when EVERYONE was doing it. YOU CANNOT FUCKING DENY US WATER, YOU DUMB FUCK. So Henry went to the other side of the line and got back in that way. It wasn’t cutting! We were letting people back in the whole time because groups of people were sending one person out to get food and drinks. No one was being nefarious about it.

Long story short, nearly everything was sold out by the time it was our turn, but I got a shirt and Henry got the hat we wanted and we would never stand in line for that long for ANYONE ELSE. And trust me, you should have seen the merch lines inside so it was either get it out of the way with plenty of time to spare before the show started or wait for doors to open and risk missing part of the concert.

It was annoying but I don’t blame BIGBANG. This was equal parts the stadium and YG. Like, know the demand! Nothing should be selling out. Kpop fans in general are coming with $$$ to spend. We are prepared. I was ready to drop a ton on merch but in the end I had to buy some of the things I wanted online, so whatever. It is what it is! At the end of the day, I was still seeing BIGBANG so who cares if I couldn’t get the super amazing cool beautiful BIGBANG canvas jacket that I had my eye on. :/

Seeing the same people for three hours like cattle in a corral was wild. And yet we talked to no one somehow. Although this one girl was talking about G-Dragon’s dog and I was SO TEMPTED to whip out my phone and show her the picture I have of him when I was staying at G-Dragon’s pension in 2019, LOL. Henry was side-eying me because he really thought I was going to lose control and do it because she was really annoying but in the end I didn’t want to look like an asshole. (I am an asshole though.)

Finally out of the merch line! The gates had been opened for an hour by then so we had no problem getting right in, no line.

“Henry take a picture of me in front of the BIGBANG sign.”

Henry takes picture and doesn’t even say, “hey you can’t see the whole sign move over.” I REALLY want to keep bringing him to concerts because he’s my merch holder but I need someone else to come who can actually take a picture like a normal person with thumbs. I don’t understand what his issue is.

I made him take another one obviously!!

We got to our seats around 7PM, an hour before it was starting. I was so excited!! Actually being in our seats was helping me calm down.

Oh also, at one point when we were in the merch line from hell, Henry said all whinily, “Why didn’t you get VIP? Did you have the option to?”

Are you kidding me? This man is now begging for VIP tickets after frowning in the past about the cost of them!?

“I don’t know I was trying to not go in debt like I was last year with the G-Dragon tickets?!” Jesus Christ, Henry. YOU go through the Ticketmaster presale turmoil next time!!

You guys. This is me waiting to see BIGBANG IN THE FLESH. NOT ON YOUTUBE.

Henry failing to take a cute picture of me again but I kept this because I liked my hair (shout out Gemma at Bella Salon—KARA IF YOU ARE READING THIS I THINK SHE IS THE ONE WHO DID YOUR HAIR FOR YOUR WEDDING???).

And now perhaps some Charmera snaps??

Henry still hasn’t recovered from the merch line, LOL. It’s amazing how tiring just STANDING for three hours can really make you. I haven’t even stood in line for a roller coaster for three hours. Not even airport lines. BIGBANG, you really are something.

Their new 20th anniversary light stick was sold out at our merch booth and apparently most of the inside ones too but luckily I had my old BIGBANG bang bong. I brought my G-Dragon daisy bong for Henry to use too lol. (He actually held it through the whole concert but wouldn’t wave it.)

I was being so fucking annoying and I don’t care. I needed pictures of myself to document this monumental moment in my life. OMFG I SAW BIGBANG!!!!!!?!@@><

This was still a bit before it started but it was sold out. Usually they will say it’s sold out and then you look on Ticketmaster and there are still a ton of TicketMaster Platinum and resell tickets but this time there were just a small handful of resells and they ranged from $1500 to $5000. Fuck you.

So yeah, the number I saw was something over 50,000. That many VIPs all in one stadium, it felt like a homecoming. And what I loved about it was that it was an older crowd and almost seemed split 50/50 men and women. In fact, there were two guys next to Henry, lightsticks and all! I only mention this because I think Kpop in general has a reputation for being something that mostly only girls like but just like G-Dragon’s concerts, there were tons of men shamelessly wearing BIGBANG shirts and hats and waving their lightsticks. The man on the other side of me had a special edition BIGBANG Japan lightstick! I was so jealous!

There was a girl in front of us who turned around and smiled at us when we bumbled to our seats (Henry the oaf nearly trampled two girls in our row) so when Henry went to look for a lightstick (he failed that mission but came back with beer), she turned around and started chatting with me. WONDERFUL PERSON! And I know I called her a girl here but she was actually 45 years old and looked like she was in her 20s! Her name is Marina and she came there that morning from DC on Amtrak. She was actually born in France though and spent a lot of her childhood in Morocco because of her dad’s job so she knows Arabic too. This came up when she asked me if I knew Korean and my response was, “Yeah, in my head,” lol.

I didn’t get a picture of her because then Henry came back and killed the vibe, but here’s the back of her!

I’m sad that we didn’t exchange socials because she was super sweet, but she left right before the encore.

I can’t stress enough how magical it was to be under the same….sky? as so many VIPs. I know most of us have really been going through it because being a BIGBANG fan has not been easy these last 10 years. In fact, I remember standing in line for the Kang Daniel concert in Toronto, chatting with the person in front of me. When she asked me who my favorite group was and I said, “BIGBANG,” she gave me the most sympathetic purse of her lip and said, “I’m so sorry.” Thank you? LOL.

This was so healing and cathartic for a lot of us. I know it. CONCERT DETAILS FORTHCOMING!!!!!! IT WILL BE ANNOYING!

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I waited my whole Kpop life (10 years!) for this day and it is finally here – we’re on our way to see my ultimate #1 not-just-Kpop but all-time band (tied with the Cure). BIGBANG IS FINALLY HERE!

I’m not liveblogging because I just want to listen to them the whole there while looking out the window dreamily.

I CANT WAIT TO BE WITH 50,000 OTHER VIPS! I CANT WAIT TO SEE DAESUNG LIVE FOR THE FIRST TIME! I CANT WAIT TO HEAR “LIES”! I CANT WAIT TO CRY WITH EVERYONE ELSE DURING “HARU HARU” AND “STILL LIFE”!!!

I’m a mess.

P.S. Henry said he is most excited for “BIIIG” and “Fantastic Baby” – he likes the anthems the most!

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Sigh. On Sunday, Henry and I took Glenn and his wife Amanda out for dinner and celebratory drinks because guess what, you guys? Glenn has retired after 18 years at The Law Firm (16 of those years being harassed mercilessly by me!).

Working from home makes everything so anticlimactic. There was no official send-off or gathering of any type planned so I was like, “Fuck it, I will go rogue.”

Glenn suggested two of his favorite places to go to and I said, “OK just let me know which” and he goes, get this, “Why not both?” OK Glenn! Bar-hopping on a Sunday, don’t mind if I do?!

First, we met at Glenn’s house (“come to my house first and I’ll show you my wheelchair collection,” he said, and I almost fell for that because I am so gullible) and Henry got to meet (dog) Henry!

And we got to meet all of their chickens! They have so many! And they all have names which I love.

Anyway! First we went to Shenanigans for pre-dinner drinks. And let’s be very clear here – I had one beer at each place, so – two beers + food. I don’t know how people can drink more than that!! We had the most delightful server at Shenanigans. I loved it there a lot and not because there is also a bar on DAYS OF OUR LIVES called Shenanigans. (Is it still there? I haven’t watched DAYS in so long that I feel like Stefano could have set fire to it without my knowledge.)

Then we went to Hal’s for dinner and had a not great server.

But I got to meet one of Glenn’s adult sons!!!! He is a cook at Hal’s and came out to see us and when they introduced him to me, he said, “Yes, I’ve heard a lot about you.” LOLOLOL. Notorious in all the wrong ways!

We went back to their house afterward and hung out for hours on their front porch, talking and telling old work stories to Henry and Amanda who I’m sure were like, “Zzzzzzzz.” I did crack up at one point when Glenn mentioned having a bonding moment with one of the most disliked partners in the Firm (at least from our department’s perspective) and Henry goes, “WOW” because he has heard this name so many times over the years. Henry has always been an honorary Law Firm member.

Monday was Glenn’s official last day. Before he logged off he sent a department-wide email with a Looney Toons “That’s All Folks” gif and I WON’T LIE, I TEARED UP.

I’ve had since June to prepare for this, when he emailed me the morning that he was planning on telling Amber of his retirement plans. I remember that I was out on my early morning walk when I saw the email come through on my phone and I actually stopped walking to read it — that’s how you know it was serious. I rarely stop walking!

I was immediately sad, but then my second emotion was, “HAHAHA FIRST!!!” because I love being the first to know things!

I think anyone who has read my blog even semi-casually over the last 16 years knows Glenn. Our performative feuding and pranking was legendary.

Here are some of my favorite Glenn moments:

GLENN BEING THE REASON WE HAVE TRUDY!!

Schaufensterpuppen Saturday

GLENN AND TERRY’S BEEF!!!

(This is a multi-parter so you have to also click the hyperlink at the beginning of this post!!!

Work-Bro Lunch Date. You’re Welcome.

THIS IS BASICALLY WHAT STARTED IT ALL:

Wacky Worm in the Law Firm

GRAVEROBBER GLENN!!

Halloween Work Desk Decoration Memories

RANDOM WORK LIVEBLOG WITH GLENN MENTIONS!

Rainy Monday Liveblog

MORE GLENN RUMORS: SATANISTS AND LESBIANS!!!

Work Haps: One Week in March

The Week of Barb, Day 1

COLLECT ALL THE GLENNS! – Last but not least, here is the entire blog category full of all the dead celebrity memorializing I would do using Glenn’s employee ID picture.

Those were the days, you guys. Fuck Covid forever because nothing has or will ever be the same again. Wishing Glenn (GRUDGINGLY) all of the best in his next chapter, though. Ugh. Sucks for the rest of us!

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I found this in the attic of my childhood home a few weeks ago. It was from my nursery when we lived in a different house in South Park and it really struck a nostalgic chord when I saw it. Do I NEED anything else in my house? I mean, probably not but we’re still at “curated hoarding” over here so I’m making it work.

We put this giant Edison bulb in it and it now resides in the living room….sitting atop the nightstand from my old childhood bedroom which I also brought home. Lol ugh.

Why is it so hard for me to let go of stuff??

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“Didn’t you just see him like last month?” Chooch asked when I sent him his favorite text that goes like this, “GUESS WHO I’M SEEING TONIGHT??” And no, it was almost exactly a year ago when I last saw Anthony Green (and Geoff Rickly!), thank you very much, Chooch. And because of that close proximity to the last show, I ALMOST sat this one out. That would have been such a mistake. Don’t sit the shows out, guys. Go to the shows. I have been seeing Anthony in one form or the other since 2005 but I still felt like there might be a REGERT there if I didn’t go. Especially because I follow him on Instagram and was so excited to see the clips of him opening for MCR at WEMBLEY. THE WEMBLEY. So, he was starting this next leg of the tour right off the heels of that. Incredible.

This show was last Friday. That same week, we had the clown show at Glitterbox and Kennywood because I have us on a fast track for burn out. So when Henry was anticipating a quiet evening in, I reminded him, “We have Anthony Green tonight….” and he was like, “…fuck.” LOL. Then I had to remind him that HE was the one who actually told me about this show in the first place!!

I’m so glad that we got the leg of the tour with Geoff. <3

We had some time to kill, so we walked down to Burghers for a pre-show beer. I had a red ale there too and I’m telling you—that is my style! One is enough, it’s satisfying, they always taste good, I don’t feel like I’m drinking beer, and I don’t feel like shit afterward. Plus, I have also learned that I am a one-beer-and-time-to-go girl. Bars and breweries are “pre-whatever-event killing time” things for me, and not somewhere to waste an afternoon or evening—I can’t hang like that. This was my third time at a Burghers and I have not had a bad beer there yet. Plus, the people are always so nice! This time, we sat at the bar and talked to the Burghers people about Anthony Green so that was amazing since usually people are like “who” when I tell them who we are going to see, lol ugh.

Myrna, can you believe that I have not been to Mr. Small’s since pre-pandemic!? It’s crazy how much time I spent there over the years and then stepping inside last Friday felt so foreign to me.

Plus, it’s changed so many times over the years that I can’t even remember what it was like the last time we were there. Or even, when I was there. I think it was just Chooch and me, possibly to see Emarosa?!

Henry is always the holder of my merch.

Also, I had to bite my tongue the other day because I’m so sick of correcting people, but someone insinuated that Henry was going to a show to see someone he didn’t know and this is so infuriating to me. Henry has been there since the beginning, when I loved Saosin, then obsessed over Circa Survive and listened to them almost exclusively on my cemetery walks while pregnant with Chooch, when I shyly met Anthony outside of the Grog Shop in Cleveland summer 2005 and he signed my CD, all the different bands we saw him performing with at various Riot Fests, taking me to Philly to see The Sound of Animals Fighting—-come the fuck on. Give the man some credit.

My favorite was actually  the last Riot Fest we went to in 2023. We were standing by one of the stages waiting for the next band to come on and Henry was like, “Who are we waiting for?” and I said, “Just wait, you’ll see.” The band came out and he was like, “Wait….is that Anthony? But what band is this? Is he in ANOTHER BAND?” Lol, it was LS Dunes.

But no, you’re right, Henry has no idea who Anthony Green is.

The show opened with Keith Goodwin, of Good Old War and long-time Anthony collaborator.

Anthony came out and played drums on one song, and then came out again to sing on another.

It was a really nice, mellow opening.

After Keith’s set, Henry went to the bathroom and came back with our pal Jason Pettigrew! I was JUST lamenting earlier that night that we never run into anyone we know when we go to shows, like how is it possible that I have no friends who like anything I like, I don’t understand. (And of course after I said this, I remembered that we saw one of our Sugar Spell ice cream friends at two shows in the span of a year and actually one of those shows was the LAST Anthony Green show!).

It’s been A MINUTE since we last saw Jason and it was amazing timing because he and I had just recently been going back and forth on Threads about how needed to catch up soon. A loud venue wasn’t necessarily the best environment for a chat but it was still better than nothing! He hung out with us for Geoff’s full set and then we made tentative plans for an avocado pie night at our house in October. #fingerscrossed

But OMG, Geoff Rickly. Once again, I’m so glad that we decided to come to this show because he is just a gem, such a legend. And I said it last year too,  that he could leave his guitar at home and just sit on a stool telling us stories and I would be just as enthralled. He’s an amazing musician and songwriter, but his story-telling skills are also top notch. And he somehow super hilariously wove references to Charlie Kirk AND Taco Bell into the evening. Ugh, he is SO GOOD and I’m very grateful to his sobriety because he is someone we need on this earth for as long as possible. Just a genuinely cool guy.

And then Anthony. OK, so I don’t know what was going on with me last year when we saw him: maybe I was still depressed and dead inside, maybe it was the venue, maybe it was just weird timing. But it didn’t resonate with me emotionally. In fact, I kind of felt like an outsider, like maybe too much time had passed and I wasn’t meant for this scene anymore. I can’t explain it but this time, it felt like NO TIME had passed, like it was 2005 again, like I was listening to Circa on some shitty mp3 player and shitty headphones, tears mixing with sweat, cemetery groundsmen looking at me like wtf is wrong with this broad.

I FELT THINGS AGAIN. I clung to every little piece of information he shared with us between songs. I smiled like a fucking acolyte. Man, Anthony Green. I am so sorry that I fell off the wagon there for a bit. I’m sorry I missed even a single Pittsburgh performance. I’m extra sad that I didn’t even know The Sound of Animals Fighting played shows last fall!!

Henry took pictures too!!

Anthony posted on Threads that he felt this was the best show he’s played in “Pitty” and I was so glad to have been there. It really did feel like a very special show. The crowd was good. The venue was perf. Everyone, in all of the bands + Geoff, sounded SO GOOD. It just felt personal, like they wanted to be there performing their songs just as much as we wanted to be there listening to them. I really don’t have a single complaint about the night and I will end it by saying that I am fully back on the wagon and have been listening to all iterations of Anthony Green ever since that night and just absolutely FLOATING in nostalgia.

SETLIST:

1. So It Goes
2. I Don’t Want to Die Tonight
3. Babygirl
4. She Loves Me So
5. You’ll Be Fine
6. Trading Doses
7. East Coast Winters
8. Pets (Porno for Pyro cover)
9. Seven Years
10. Strange Terrain
11. Act Appalled
12. Reconcile
13. Don’t Dance
14. Dear Child / Like Magick / Fucks Me Up
15. This Song Won’t Save You
16. Get Out
17. Devil’s Song

 

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I can’t believe this happened, but I somehow failed to bring either of my two Charmera cameras with me on Friday so this will just be a Saturday and Sunday Chameradump I guess. :(

Saturday’s coffee break led us to Redstart in the East End. I didn’t realize until we pulled into the lot but in 2019 when Jiyong and I used to meet up every Saturday, we came here but it was called something else at the time. All I could remember was that it shared a space with Schoolhouse (the lighting company) but when I googled it, “The Bureau” is what came up, which didn’t seem correct AT ALL.

So I consulted my blog, and yeah, it was the same place. I remember very well being INSIDE but the name rings not even the tiniest bell buried in the recesses of my corroded mind. I did have fun reading the blog post that mentioned it though, which has us meeting Tommy and Jessy for lunch somewhere in Butler that also rings zero bells in my mind but Chooch’s sick burn near the end of the blog post had me gagged. I sent him a screenshot yesterday and he said, “Lol wow, got him.”

(RIP Jessy though for real, ugh.)

Anyway! This place had the most quiet vibes. It was mostly people there alone to either read a book or work so this is the atmosphere I was looking for on my Baby Girl Goes to the City Alone day earlier this month. (God, it was still July yet it feels like that months ago at this point. How is this summer going by so fast but then these weird time lags are also happening!?)

I got the coconut latte and Henry got pandan but then I made him swap with me after I tried his. We also split a vegan sea salt chocolate chip cookie. Overall, great lattes and the cookie would have been better if it wasn’t shared. The barista was also a super nice guy who didn’t make us feel like we were encroaching on holy grounds. (OH COME ON YOU KNOW HOW SOME OF THEM CAN BE!!)

I would go back. Good job, Redstart.

Before we went home, we stopped at Bodega Film Lab to pick up some film for our little mini trip coming up later this week.

The guy who helped us was super nice and also didn’t act like an elitist so I was happy about that. I love photography but I love it on my terms and by that I mean I know zero of the technical aspects of it so please do not ask me what kind of ISO I’m looking for and if you even START to say aperature, just know I’m already tuning you out on the first syllable.

Later that night, we watched the Italian horror movie Torso, and it was excellent.

Sunday (today!) I met Sandy and Nate at Palm Palm for brunch! I haven’t seen them since February so it was a nice little catch-up sesh. They brought me a birthday bouquet :)

We were all smitten with the water carafe that looked like a volcano.

Not Charmera, but I got the coconut pancakes with yuzu marmalade and the most delicious whipped topping which ended up being my brunch AND dinner:

It was so good but I am excited to eat something savory today, lol.

And here’s a better picture of Sandy and Nate too:

It was such a great brunch! And I loved Palm Palm (they even have matchbooks which to me is such a great touch) and already can’t wait to go back.

Later in the afternoon, Henry and I went to my mom’s because she is moving out slowly and I wanted to not only poke around and see what things of mine are still there, but we also needed to send Chooch some pictures of my brother Ryan’s old bedroom set because he (Chooch) is moving into a new place this September and has no furniture. I asked him if he liked it and he was like, “Well, I have nothing so I’m relying on Val’s donation here.” LOL I guess that’s a yes.

Meanwhile, I found some really good old shit—LIKE MY FIRST PUBLIC DIARY FROM FIFTH GRADE!!! So, I was pretty happy about that but overall felt kind of weird. I haven’t been in my mom’s house in probably over 15 years if we’re being honest here, and it made me sort of sad to see my old room which used to be so cool, I’m not getting, it was so fucking cozy and ambiant, but after I moved out one of my brothers took over and killed the vibe.

But, I digress. It’s just really weird that both my childhood home and my grandparent’s house on the same street are basically just…done.

So after we left there, we stopped at a local pizza shop / brewery called Truss to have a “we were just sweating in an attic” beer.

I had a red ale and it was SO GOOD, but not only that, we chatted with the owner and he is so cool and down to earth. He was encouraging us to sample everything but once I tried the red ale, I was like, “No need, this is the one.”

Henry got the CAR WASH COMING SOON summer wheat which is based on an inside joke with the community because there are so many car washes on one small strip of highway that runs through, that every time a new one pops up, people get so triggered. Anyway, one guy took it to the next level but having a giant “car wash coming soon” sign printed and then he hung it at Chick-fil-a on a Sunday so the community Facebook page popped of with, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME, CHICK-FIL-A IS TURNING INTO A CAR WASH???”

Anyway, long story still long, that guy is friends/friendly with the Truss owner, and when the Truss guy went on vacation, the CAR WASH COMING SOON sign ended up in front of the brewery, lol. He told us that he came back from his trip to Mexico with his inbox full of concerned messages about Truss closing. So, the car wash beer was born. IT IS SO GOOD, TOO! I stole some sips :)

Then I read aloud from my 5th grade public diary and Henry was like FML. SHOULD THIS BE MY FUTURE CLOWN ACT!?!? Just, me in face paint sitting on a stool and reading pages from my journals??

Hilariously in the same vein, Henry was digging around on some old computer drives and found an audio recording of the time I read an entire haunted house review for LiveJournal. (It was the infamous IGOR’S FRIGHT SHACK review!!!)

Well, that pretty much sums up the weekend, minus Friday which will be a separate post. CIAO FOR NOW.

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Before I start: My journal pages for last Friday’s and Saturday’s back-to-back concerts make me so happy. I’m so glad that I started this!

Anyway. Last Saturday was the Armor for Sleep show at Preserving Underground. My love for AFS goes way back to my LiveJournal, pre-Chooch days. Sometimes I can’t believe it’s been that long and it makes me feel sick because I can’t think of this time in my life without thinking about Christina, who, if I haven’t mentioned, has ghosted me for the billionth time in our 20+ year “friendship” because they are married to some new broad that came out of nowhere conveniently after Christina and Katie broke off their engagement. I LOVED KATIE. I thought she was cute, funny, interesting – a real match for Christina who tends to date down. So, I was there for Christina during the breakup, then they met this new broad and VERY QUICKLY AND I DO MEAN QUICKLY, they perpetuate the lesbian “U-Haul” stereotype like you would not believe, they got engaged and that’s when suddenly Christina stopped calling and texting. So, that makes me feel amazing about myself to know that I am so easily discarded time and time again!!

But you know what, I’m not going to let go of these old bands that we loved together because fuck that. I knew it would make me emotional to see AFS but I wanted to go see them so Henry bought us tickets and fuck that dumb bitch, amirite.

Now that we got that out of the way (oh,  one more thing – #TeamKatie 100%, I wish I was still in contact with her but she blocked me after they broke up and I get it, she probably thought I was going to side with Christina but that’s a NO), we got to New Kensington a little too early last Saturday because Henry thought doors were at 6pm, so when we walked into the place, there was a small group of people lined up along the steps AND THEN BEN JORGENSON (AFS singer) walked over and I swear to god, we made eye contact and I almost died. But anyway, it turned out that this was the VIP meet and greet so that was awkward. We did the whole “whistle at the ceiling” thing while everyone followed Ben down the steps into the bowels of the church to do, I don’t, meetin’ and greetin’ line dances and whatever, and then we tried to play it off like we meant to do that by continuing up the steps into the record store portion of the venue.

You already know this part. I bought the horror movie record that Goblin scored and guess what I found out afterward? GOBLIN DIDN’T ACTUALLY WRITE THAT MUSIC FOR THAT MOVIE!!! It was something that they had already recorded and released and the….movie people….were like, “Yes, we will be stealing this for our nunsploitation flick, grazie*.”

*(Because it was an Italian movie, you see.)

Then we still had time to kill so we walked down the street to VooDoo to have a pre-show half-pour and the Norway-England game was on. WE WERE THERE WHEN NORWAY SCORED THE SECOND GOAL THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE GAME WINNER BUT FIFA IS CORRUPT AND STUPID. It was fun while it lasted though because the whole room erupted in cheers and everyone who had been sitting outside came running in. I was SO INVESTED. I get caught up in sports with my whole-ass heart and like the rest of the world, I was enamored with Erling Haaland. Yeah, I’m basic when it comes to these things and I’m not too proud to admit it either. Who wouldn’t love a GREEN FLAG VIKING. Honestly

We each got two 5 ounce beers. My first one was some brown ale which was annoying to me because I was rooting against England while sitting there drinking an old man English beer (it was so good though, I like brown ales!) and then I got the alcoholic version of Jackworth’s ginger beer which was just OK. Henry thought it was too strong and reacted super dramatically to it and I was like, “Calm down, pussy, go drink your little summer wheat ale you sissy bitch.”

God, Henry.

After about 30 minutes of squatting in Voodoo, we walked back to Preserving and doors were now open—yay! Fun fact, since I have spent the last 10 years primarily going to Kpop concerts, this was our FIRST TIME at this venue! I was aware of its existence, and had been to the record store portion of it, but since I was so out of the loop with bands of my old life, it wasn’t hard on my radar. I was excited that Armor for Sleep was playing here AND even better is that Preserving recently opened a second record shop down the street from us (actually, on the same street as the Hollywood Theater), and they sell FEE-FREE tickets to their shows there! So, on Henry’s own birthday last month, he walked there and bought us tickets to AFS and Royal Coda which is in a few weeks.

For as much as I love to slander him, Henry is actually pretty obedient sweet.

Chooch and I used to compete to see who could keep their wristbands on the longest and since we were always going to concerts AND amusement parks, we typically had at least one wristband rotting on our wrists at any given time. I was stoked to have accumulated two in one weekend, especially now that I have a journal to paste them into!

The show didn’t start until 7:30 so we were able to chill on a church pew and people-watch for a bit. I immediately imprinted on this venue. It was giving what Mr. Smalls THINKS it is. For as often as I went to Smalls, I never felt comfortable there, probably because it was always changing. We’re actually returning there next Friday for the first time since before the pandemic so I’m interested to see how terrible it is now because I heard it got even worse.

All of that is to say that I felt at home here immediately. Staff was great. Space was superb. Ambiance was immaculate. I was ready for a religious experience.

As soon as the first band was about to come on, I said SEE-YA to Henry and made my way to the stage. I always have it in the back of my mind that maybe I will go to a show and just sit and relax through the whole thing but then the music starts and I’m all, get me closer to the stage, lest I am consumed by FOMO.

Flycatcher was the opener and they were having some indeterminate issue/drama/crisis with one of the guitarists who was unable to make it so their merch guy / photographer was filling in on some songs after scrambling to learn them.  

Guy in the middle was the guitar sub—he did a great job!

And then they had Ben come out for one of the songs toward the end and I was screaming like I hadn’t just seen him in the hallway 2 hours prior to this. But honestly, BEN JORGENSON. Even when I got into Kpop, I still followed him on Insta.

Actually! We had tickets to see their 15-year anniversary tour for What To Do When You’re Dead but it was in….spring of 2020. So, that of course got canceled and was rescheduled for the next year—for some reason, we couldn’t make it to the rescheduled Pgh date though, so actually the last time I saw them was in 2015 at the Trocadero in Philly. That is a long-ass time ago even though it doesn’t feel like it! I saw them with this girl Terri who I was good friends with at the time and now she doesn’t talk to me anymore either so it’s either me or Armor For Sleep, who is the problem here?!

After this set, I went back to sit down to Henry. There was also a woman sitting there as well, so I had to squeeze in between them.  Her young teen son came over to check in with her and I asked if he wanted to take my seat. They both said no and thanked me though, and then he flitted back off to the crowd. The mom started chatting with me after this about how she takes her son to any concert he wants to go, even if she doesn’t like the bands, because music is so important, and last year the went to 30-some concerts in 7 different states. Relatable! I loved hearing this from another mom because I really truly believe that going to concerts is such an important part of life. I didn’t go to very many when I was in high school because I just wasn’t friends with anyone who went to shows. That is INSANE to think about now, looking back at my friend group because they were so concert-coded from the outside that you’d think they’d be at local punk and alt-rock shows every weekend. And then when I dated Psycho Mike, he never “let” me go to concerts with him. To THIS DAY I am so pissed that he saw motherfucking Radiohead at Metropol.

What I’m getting at is that I made sure Chooch had concert experiences. Now he does have friends that go to shows and anytime he sends me an ad for an upcoming concert, I sign up for the presale and get him the ticket. Or the vinyl. Or the band shirt. He knows that these are the three things I will never say no to.

So, it was really nice to hear these sentiments from another mom, but I did have to laugh because it was oftentimes Henry and Chooch sitting under a tree at Warped Tour or Bled Fest while I was in front of a stage somewhere getting sweat and spit on.

Oh. Spanish Love Songs. Holy shit. Speaking of Bled Fest, hearing this band put me right back in that headspace. This is my kind of band, you guys. I’m already waiting for them to come back because I NEED to see them again. Also, they slipped in a FUCK ICE lyric to one of their songs and WE LOVE A BAND THAT FIGHTS THE GOOD FIGHT. I love that these bands create such safe spaces while we’re all internally combusting along with the country.

Loved them!

Then it was Armor For Sleep, and I actually got Henry to stand with me! Well, he lasted for half and then took some giant steps back away from the stage and wallflower’d it for the rest of the set. But I didn’t care, no offense Henry, but he could have fully left and sat in the car and I wouldn’t have noticed because I was in another world. And that world was 2005.

Of course, I love all of their songs but the ones from the album What To Do When You’re Dead are the ones that really punch me in the gut. First of all, that was a concept album about death. It was also the album that Christina and I obsessed over together. But now, some of those songs, hearing them for the first time in years, made me think of Drew. And it didn’t help when Ben dedicated one of their songs to, “anyone who has recently lost a pet.”

Some might say that “2 years ago” is not “recent” but my heart has not healed yet, people. It is still gaping and raw. And I am still a mess 9 out of 10 times when I think about Drew. I can at least (mostly) look at pictures of her now without collapsing into choke-hazard sobs, but I am still not well.

Oh god, this song, my heart was in my throat:

I don’t know what else to say aside from that it felt so cathartic and also like absolute torture all at once. This band is so important to me, they were a big part of the soundtrack of a very shaky time in my life where I didn’t know who I was, what I wanted, where I belonged. It was also around the time I became a mom, so throw that into my basket of already crazy emotions.

FML.

Yes, it hurt hearing some of these songs again (Basement Ghost Singing had tears streaming down my face and my throat burning, thanks for the emotional support, Henry, wherever you were LOL) but I am so glad that we went. Like Cold, it’s kind of weird when you fall out of the loop with a band that you once loved so much and you feel kind of out of place at first, but then suddenly, you’re right back there again without even realizing it. That’s how it felt that night. Great crowd, great venue, and most of all, great bands.

I didn’t record much that night, but here’s some clips from Flycatcher (with Ben), Spanish Love Songs, and then Armor For Sleep:

I was in a haze for the rest of the weekend after this, in a good way though. And it helped that I had therapy that week because my therapist also likes Armor For Sleep so it was nice to be able to talk about the night and my feelings with someone who knew what I was talking about.

There was a part of me that almost told Henry to forget it when he went to buy the tickets because I was admittedly scared of seeing them again. But I’m glad that I did it. I’m glad I went and got to not only confront that stupid part of my past (a person who doesn’t even deserve a single thought from me yet here I am letting them get to me) and most importantly I’m happy that I got to support a band that was once such a big part of my life by showing up for them and buying merch.

Go to the shows! Support the bands you love. As I get older, I realize more and more what limited time we have, so don’t do the whole, “I’ll go see them next time” or “I already saw them once, I’m good” excuse because you’d rather just stay home. I GET THAT! Sometimes I’m like, “Should I just blow this off” but then I go and I’m always glad I did.  Aging really has me so hyper-aware of everything these days. And I am SCRAMBLING.

Anyway, the set list wasn’t posted for Pittsburgh, but it seems like it didn’t vary between cities and this looks accurate to me:

• Dream to Make Believe
• Remember to Feel Real
• The Outer Ring
• My Town
• Stay on the Ground
• In this Nightmare Together
• Chemicals
• Slip Like Space
• Williamsburg
• Hold the Door
• In Another Dream
• Awkward Last Words
• Basement Ghost Singing
• Being Your Walls
• The More You Talk, The Less I Hear
• The Truth About Heaven
• Car Underwater

And on that note, I urge anyone reading this to PLEASE listen to the album What To Do When You Are Dead non-shuffled. It is actually such a perfect album in my opinion. A masterpiece.

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The other day, the rumor that Fun Spot America is closing was confirmed as true. I have been quietly sitting with my feelings on this one. We had such a fun time visiting this place three summers ago to ride ArieForce One and I am so worried about what will happen to this coaster now. Please please please let someone buy it and relocate it — this coaster is too majestic, too elite, TOO YOUNG to be scrapped.

We were just out with our friends Jess and Shawn and I was telling them about this because their nephew has recently gotten into coasters. I was like, “TELL HIS PARENTS THAT THEY NEED TO GET HIM HERE BEFORE AUGUST 3RD!!” I realized while talking about it that I had a lump in my throat. I think I’m starting to really comprehend that it’s not fully about the roller coasters, it’s about the fact that this has been something that me, Henry and Chooch have bonded over for the last 10+ years. We have had so much fun and made so many memories traveling the world for coaster credits and this one coaster was so highly ranked by all of us.

Ugh. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t so emotionally connected to every little fucking thing!

Anyway, I’m bringing this old blog post back in honor of FunSpot and ArieForce One. If you’ve ridden it, you get it.

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July 2023

I know sometimes it sounds like my brilliant ideas are born from late nights rolling in a kiddy pool of cocaine, but I swear to BETTY FUCKING WHITE that my “It’s so easy” plan of driving a billion miles from Pgh to Atlanta to ride one goddamn rollercoaster actually ended up being something that was enjoyed in equal parts by ALL.

(OK, maybe more like 50% me, 25% each to Henry and Chooch – they don’t get excited about shit.)

By now, you know (and still don’t care) that my favorite roller coaster manufacturer is ROCKY MOUNTAIN CONSTRUCTION (RMC). When it was announced that they were building a brand new ground-up coaster (they are mostly renown for taking already-standing wooden coasters and making them insane feats of engineering) at this tiny family entertainment center outside of Atlanta called Fun Spot America, the coaster community went wild with confusion, speculation, and of course excitement falling in clumps out of cargo-pockets.

In America, RMCs generally only go to the big name parks, the Cedar Fairs, the Six Flags. This particular Fun Spot (there are two others in Florida) is essentially an arcade with some go-kart tracks and flat rides in an old, repurposed parking lot. The only coasters they already had was a janky jumble of track called Hurricane (the kind of coaster you’d expect to see in a traveling parking lot carnival, actually) and a standard kiddy coaster.

And now, a fucking beast of an RMC called ArieForce One, which just opened last March. I know we’re going on this big trip in a month, but I was like, “HENRY WE HAVE TO RIDE THIS THING BEFORE THE TRIP BECAUSE ALL THOSE THOOSIES ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT AND I WANT TO BE IN THE KNOW!!!” Henry tried to talk me out of it, but in the end, I won.

Oh, and “Arie” is not a typo. It’s an homage to the surname of the family that bought this park several years ago, Arie. LEGEND HAS IT (it’s not a legend, it’s right there on FunSpot’s website), the patriarch of the Arie family was/is very into airplanes or whatever. Love it or hate it, RMC built a BEAUTIFUL ride to go along with the theme of flight and when you see this bad boy looming along the side of the road before the full park comes into view, how do you NOT gasp?? I mean, I imagine even if I wasn’t an enthusiast, if I knew NOTHING about this hunk of red and blue track, I would at least be inspired to look up WTF it was and probably start nagging Henry to pull over so we could ride it.

Obviously, we went straight to ArieForce One upon arrival. IT WAS A STATION WAIT. Actually, it could have been a walk-on if we weren’t trying to get either the front or back row, and even then, we barely had to wait because they were running two trains and we were next!

AHHHH!!!!

Chooch was like, “Oh boy, here we go with the station selfies. I am so excited. Yay me.” I ended up ditching Chooch and running up to the front to ride with Henry because otherwise, we’d have had to wait more cycle. So Chooch ended up riding with the single rider / enthusiast that was in front of us in the backrow.

Dude. I don’t know what to say other than IS THIS MY NEW FAVORITE RMC?!?! Holy shit, the things this coaster does seems illegal, honestly. There is this one part where you do a zero G roll / barrel roll over the arcade and it nearly gave me whiplash every time. It was my favorite moment but holy shit, the way you twirl between the structures, talk about head/limbs/everything chopper. Hoo boy!

DO YOU SEE HOW EMPTY THIS TRAIN IS?? It was like this all night! Walking onto an RMC is unheard of at any other park. I mean, for Christ’s sake, we’re lucky if we can get ONE RIDE on Steel Vengeance every time we go to Cedar Point because the line is usually consistently at 90+ minutes. (When it’s not breaking down.)

But on this day, it was us, maybe about 5 or 6 thoosies, and a handful of GP who caught on to the sheer majesty of this ride and knew that it was worth the multiple re-rides. The ride attendants were so great too!! The one guy asked us at one point how many rides we had gotten in so far and I honestly had lost count. I mean, we would ride 3-4x in a row, walk around and do some other things, and then go right back.

I will say that this coaster is tough to marathon though because the very ending has a quadruple double-down that is VIOLENT. And then it just slams you into the breakrun. Parts of my thighs had red marks on them from the sheer force of the restraints crushing into me every single time we reached that element. VERY EXTREME. I think this could be a one and done for the casual rider. You have to be a psycho to beg the attendants to let you stay on when you come back to the station and see no one is waiting for the row you’re sitting in. They allowed it every time!!

We got really lucky too because the weather forecast was calling for storms all evening. And actually, after we had gotten in our first two rides (front and back –  I think I actually preferred the front because it hurt less, lol), we had pissed around a but, checked out the arcade, rode some other rides, when we overheard the ride attendant for the janky coaster, Hurricane, get a call that said some of the rides needed to stop operations because lightning was spotted.

I was literally screaming, “Nooooooo!!!” thinking that we were only going to get those 2 rides on Arie, and were probably going to have to leave the park altogether if it started storming. This was only about an hour after we arrived too! I was big sad.

But then I was like, “Well, let’s just walk toward Arie just in case, you never know,” and right as we were walking that way, we passed someone who looked like he was In Charge as he was telling another park employee, “All clear of lightning” so then I was like “LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOO!!” and yep, just as we ran up the steps to the Arie station, they were just about to start sending trains again!

On one of our many rides, Chooch told me, “As we go over the hill, don’t look down, just look straight ahead. It makes it better,” and I thought this was just some dumb thing he had made up to see if I’d fall for it, but I did it and it made the butterfly sensation amplified by a lot, which made me crack up uncontrollably and then spit all over myself. So, then I was laughing even harder, which resulted in me being in tears by the time we careened into the brake run.

At one point, Henry and Chooch wanted to ride go-karts and I said, “OK, I guess I will just go walk around while you’re doing that” and walk around is exactly what I did – straight to ArieForce One!! I rode in the back by myself and one of the loner thoosies was in front of me, so we started talking on the brake run (ops were kind of slow so every time a train came back, it would idle on the brake run for a few minutes while the train in the station was loading). He was really cool but I’m not used to talking to people who actually care about this stuff so WORDS WERE JUST SOMERSAULTING out of my mouth at a pace which made me gasp for breath like an asthmatic. Honestly, I need to come up with a way to tap out of conversations, like putting a paper grocery bag over my head, askin a bee to sting my tongue, or just you know, saying, “Excuse me bye” and walking away.

As it was, we somehow ended up walking out of the station together, super awkwardly, and when he asked what my favorite park is, I BLANKED AND THEN SAID CEDAR POINT??? Cedar Point is NOT my favorite park!??! I feel like if I hadn’t been short-circuiting, I probably would have said Universal / Islands of Adventure or Busch Gardens Williamsburg?!?! And then I was telling him that Kennywood is my homepark and he said he had never heard of it so I was like, “Yeah, you should go sometime and ride Phantoms Revenge, it’s amazing” and he goes, “Who is the manufacturer?” and this is the part that you won’t care about if you don’t like coasters, but I was now in the position where I said to say, “Arrow….and then it was reworked by Morgan” and I could hear myself saying these words while watching the look of skepticism befall his face.

“Oh, OK,” he said.

“Yeah….you should look it up. Well, enjoy the rest of your night!” and then it’s a wonder I didn’t trip and fall into a garbage can in my haste to exit this conversation.

(Arrow is notorious in the coaster community for making pretty shitty, rough coasters and is now defunct. And Morgan is just whatever. So to try and sell the merits of a coaster manufactured by these two companies is pretty insane, but Phantom’s Revenge is the exception, ISTG. LOOK IT UP – COASTER ENTHUSIASTS COME TO KENNYWOOD FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD TO RIDE IT. IT’S CONSIDERED AN ELITE COASTER AND MOST THOOSIES HAVE IT IN THEIR TOP 25-50 LISTS. SO THERE.)

The night rides on this were masterful. CHEF’S KISS, BITCHES.

That ride attendant there in the front was my favorite!!! He never stapled us, he let us pull down the restraints ourselves and then only (GENTLY) pushed until the light on the screen turned green. Bless your heart, sir.

CAUGHT A CHOOCH SMILE. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT.

I love that you can see the ferris wheel from the back of the station!

That other ride attendant over there on the other side of the track is the one who kept permitting us to stay on for re-rides. I loved everyone associated with this ride, you guys. It was an EXCEPTIONAL experience.

Family selfie that only I will forever cherish!

Anyway, I will do a full FunSpot recap another time, but we all were in agreement that as usual, I have the best ideas and that this was 100% worth the 11 hour drive.

I think this was Chooch’s and my 11th RMC, and Henry’s 10th?

1. Lightning Rod
2. Storm Chaser
3. Steel Vengeance
4. Twister Timber
5. Outlaw Run (the one Henry doesn’t have because his back hurt, but we still made him drive us to Missouri lol)
6. Wicked Cyclone
7. Twisted Cyclone
8. Iron Gwazi (ugh this one MIGHT still be my fave??)
9. Goliath
10. Jersey Devil
11. ArieForce One

There are two more that we will potentially add to this list this year: Wildfire in Sweden next month, and hopefully at some point before the end of the year, I’d like to make it back out to Hershey to ride the brand new Wildcat’s Revenge but we’ll see how destitute we are upon return from this August trip hahaha ugh.

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Present Day Erin here with an updated RMC list!

1. Lightning Rod
2. Storm Chaser
3. Steel Vengeance
4. Twister Timber
5. Outlaw Run (Henry now has this credit since we went back to Silver Dollar City last summer)
6. Wicked Cyclone
7. Twisted Cyclone
8. Iron Gwazi (ugh this one MIGHT still be my fave??)
9. Goliath
10. Jersey Devil
11. ArieForce One
12. Wildfire
13. Wildcat’s Revenge (Chooch’s fave)
14. Fire Runner

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Bro when I say that I feel like a brand new person straight out of an isolation chamber ever since I got BIGBANG tickets….I mean, it’s really pathetic that concert-goers need to feel this level of anxiety when a band they love (especially if it’s Kpop) announces a tour. It just shouldn’t be like this, we have enough stress on a daily basis thanks to this fucking orange rapist and his gang of degenerates putting us in the crosshairs and obliterating basic human rights, let us at the very least have a normal, non-panic-inducing experience when purchasing tickets to a concert that we deserve to attend in order to restore our sanity and give us a small moment of joy before we head back into the reality of this corrupt world.

YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING?

Here are some more little moments of joy that I have curated over the last week or so.

For the last year or so, I’ve used this photo app called Minutiae where you get a notification at a different time each day and you only have 5 seconds to open the app and snap a picture of what’s in front of you. Most of the time, I miss the notification. Most of the times when I DON’T miss it, I’m sitting at my work desk so my pictures are always of my house, depending on how fast I swivel to capture a new corner, lol. It happened when I was at DGD last week so I was really excited to have a picture that illustrated me actually having a life outside of the house.

ANYWAY!! While Chooch was home last week, I got a notification right as he walked out the front door to go see his friends. I screamed CHOOCH WAIT and took this through the screen door, lol.

Also, if you read my Waldameer post, the lady who was forcing her kid to ride Chaos WAS WEARING THIS SAME SHIRT which inspired Chooch to wear his the next day. I can’t believe he still wears it. He got it in some dorky gamer subscription box years ago, I think!?

Earlier that day, I made Chooch go for a walk around Brookline with me because I was bored. Here are some pictures I took with my Charmera, much to Chooch’s chagrin:

Lemonade we bought from two siblings on the corner of our street (I don’t know where they came from). The brother was the one we made the transaction with and there was not a lick of enthusiasm to be found on him.

It was $1 each so Chooch slid him a dollar bill and 4 quarters (we had to go back into the house to get cash when we saw the stand right at the start of our walk, and the two kids stood shoulder to shoulder, holding their lemonade sign, glowering at us like the Shining twins as we walked back down the sidewalk to get the money, it was scary).

“I don’t have change,” the kid said dourly, scooping out the lemonade with a ladle.

“Uh…that’s OK we don’t need it,” Chooch said, like BOY DO BETTER AT MATH CLASS. Sheesh.

“Do you want ice?” he asked in a monotone.

We did not.

The lemonade was actually pretty bad but we still sipped on it as we walked away. “That was an interesting serving technique,” Chooch laughed and I mean, really! It took him forever to scoop two small cups’ worth of liquid out of the pitcher.

I couldn’t believe how many people were actually PULLING OVER to support this local business. I’ll tell you why – BECAUSE THEY WERE WHITE KIDS.

The Teen Center’s lemonade was so much better (and the operation was diverse!).

This also made me think about how shocking it is in hindsight that Chooch never got into the lemonade slinging trade, but that’s probably because he was too busy diabolically banning people on the Minecraft servers he was in charge of.

The Moonlite Cafe redid its facade and it’s super cute. I have lived in Brookline since 1999 (!!!) and somehow have only eaten here twice and have no recollection of liking it or not.

Back on our block, the kids were still doing the lemonade thing. “Hi again,” the boy said to us like we were regulars.

I haven’t mentioned this much because the process has been so slow since we haven’t been home much for Henry to work on it, but we’ve reached the “accoutrements” portion of the record player buffet that we’ve (“we” lol) been refurbing. It’s exactly the same style cabinet as the one we clownified for the living room, but this one is purple and green. The doors will (hopefully) be a mosaic made from CD shards, with halved toy dinosaurs attached. The sides, which is what we’re currently working on, will be made from old cassettes and 8-tracks. (The theme here is prehistoric media, if you haven’t noticed.)

I’ve had these 8-tracks in a box in the basement for over 20 years. Freaking JOE gave them to me back when I worked at Weiss’s. I don’t even know why I took them, I did not have an 8-track player nor did I have any intention of purchasing one on eBay in order to listen to Lawrence Welk and Elvis albums. But, because Henry tends to just push things into the dark recesses of the basement, he found them a few weeks ago when he was looking for something else, and said, “Hey, can you think of anything to use those old 8-tracks for?” Well, it turns out, just using the cassettes won’t work, dimension-wise, but alternating between cassettes AND 8-tracks makes for a better fit on the sides of the cabinet!

So, here is a picture of Henry cleaning them the other night while we watched FROM.

Also, it’s super annoying because they wrote “WEISS” on a bunch of them like a mom tagging her kids’ underroos, so some of them can’t be used. (Sorry, it’s already bad enough that I have tangible evidence of this family’s existence in my house, I don’t need to see their names as well — this cabinet is already going to be haunted since we’re using these!)

Here’s the journal page from Father’s Day in Philly. Henry was not pleased with my depiction of him (mostly because I was using a picture of him as reference and he was insulted that I can’t draw him from memory, like bro calm down, I can barely draw a stick figure from memory anymore).

I fucking love my journal so much!!

All of these things have been keeping me afloat lately. Once I finally admitted that my life needed to shift, even if just the slightest, everything sort of fell into place and every day gets a little better. It’s not perfect, I still have sad days (ok, sad moments every day), I am still stressed, I’m still worried about Penelope constantly, I still have panic attacks reading the news. But these little things are my liferaft!

(+ HOLY SHIT I’M GOING TO SEE BIGBANG, BREATHE ERIN.)

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I haven’t seen Dance Gavin Dance in A MINUTE. Probably not since before the pandemic, if I’m remembering correctly without looking it up on the blog because I’m too lazy. I was still keeping up with them on the periphery, enough to know that Tilian was kicked out for SA accusations, allowed back in when the accusations were allegedly disproved. I always default to siding with the accuser/victim and this one was extra weird so I thought it was kind of strange when everything was “cleared” and swept under the rug.  Anyway, then he left (whether on his own or by force, I don’t know) again in 2024.

Tilian had actually become their most stable singer, lasting longer than Jonny and Kurt’s years combined. (Probably—I’m just doing that amazing blog-journalist thing I do where I’m making sweeping speculations without bothering to research but as someone who has been a fan of DGD since 2007, this seems like it’s plausible.) I remember when Tilian replaced Jonny (after his second reign as DGD vocal king)–fans were skeptical at best. I knew Tilian from Tides of Man so I was happy about the decision and he quickly won me over. In fact, even though Downtown Battle Mountain with Jonny Craig remains my favorite DGD album, Tilian actually became my favorite frontman.

The new singer is Andrew Wells, formerly of Eidola, but he had already been in DGD for 10+ years, even the last time I saw them live, he was there as the touring guitarist. So, it makes sense that DGD would be like, “OK Andrew, you’re up” rather than going through the process of bringing in a new singer from the outside again.

I listened to some of the newer stuff with him doing vocals and actually kind of thought he SORT OF sounds similar to Tilian. It’s not a jarring change. And when I saw that they’re currently touring with a Pittsburgh stop, I felt inspired to get tickets. I mean, I have seen them with every singer up until now so I have to keep the streak going, right?

Henry in the merch line, lol

Show was at Stage AE. I haven’t been there in a long time and it felt completely foreign to me. Chooch dropped us off and door hadn’t opened yet so we had to stand in a long-ish line that had snaked around the building. People-watching was interesting—a mix of old and young fans. It kind of felt like standing in line for Warped Tour again so that felt nice, but there was also something making me feel awkward, like I was a n00b. I guess I have just been away from the scene a long time at this point.

Meanwhile, I knew the answers to questions that were being asked in two different conversations around me and had to step on my toes to keep from being a Mrs. Buttinski, Paging Mrs. Buttinski.

Anyway, the guy right behind me was SNORFLING BIGLY and I was so anguished by this, like how was this happening to me at two back-to-back events?! Luckily, once we got inside, we were nowhere near him again.

Let’s go through the rest bulletpoint-style because I’m going to get too wordy/weird/emotional and no one has time for that.

• I was standing at the railing on the main level above the pit. I’ve been to enough DGD shows to not need to do barricade or risk getting elbowed in the head
• The two women next to me were…OK. The one didn’t speak to me even once but her friend was relatively cool. It was almost the perfect spot until some broad arrived with her idiot bitch 6-year-old. Apparently it was his bday and DGD is his favorite band, so she asked the other two women if he could slide in next to them and get a spot at the railing. I was NOT going to let this bump me from my spot, so now I had to stand sideways in the corner of the railed area. It was really uncomfortable and then MOM wanted to chat with the women the whole time and as soon as they all started talking about how much they love Falling In Reverse, I knew all I needed to know.

• The opening band was Novelists from France. HOLY. SHIT. Yes to this. Yes to the dress. Yes to all of it. Camille is a breath of fresh air! Beautiful vocals and then seamlessly dips right into monstrous growling. I loved it. New fan alert.

• Wolf and Bear was next. I liked them a lot too! I did know who they were prior to this though. Women next to me chatted liberally (have a feeling they’re not liberals though) through the whole set.
• After this, Henry went to check out the food sitch and was gone for an eternity. I kept looking back for him like A WEAK WOMAN LOST W/O HER MAN (j/k I was just getting pissed because he claimed he was going to get a pretzel and I wanted some), Anyway, then I noticed that he was talking to Mychael from Sugarspell Scoops! I had to laugh because it’s been about a year since the last time we ran into Mychael at a show (the Anthony Green / Kurt Travis / Geoff Rickley show at Jergel’s last summer). He gave Henry the scoop (OH, A PUN) related to the future of Sugarspell (it’s looking bright!) and then told him that he has actually never seen DGD but was there because he booked the next band’s (Horse the Band) first show in Pgh 20 years ago! It was a house show in Castle Shannon. Then he invited Henry (hopefully me too but people usually only remember Henry’s existence and not mine) to a show he and one of his bands are doing next week at the Shred Shed. I asked Henry if he said we’d go and he said he didn’t commit to anything but I would totally go.
• Then Henry came back with a DGD poster :) I also got TWO shirts because I’m spoiled.

• Horse the Band was crazy and I loved it. They have a hype man in booty shorts who plays the triangle and does the actual most with what God has given him. That man was in the crowd almost constantly!  He ran past us twice but I missed him on video both times—he was just too fast.

• And then DGD. Sigh. Thoughts:
  • I wasn’t AS emotional as expected but I did get choked up with they did some DBM throwbacks and at one point I turned to Henry for emotional support and he was nowhere to be found. He told me later that he was leaning against a wall and “wasn’t that far” from me OK GREAT but the point is that he wasn’t where I needed him to be!??!?!
  • I still love Jon Mess with my whole fucking heart.
  • Matt Mingus is still one of the most underrated drummers in the world.
  • Will Swan <3
  • Andrew is…good. He can perform the old stuff well. But, something was missing. Charisma? He kind of felt game show host-y to me?  Is this a sign that my DGD days are over?
  • There was some short bitch behind me with the most blood-curdling scream and look, I HAVE BEEN TO MANY KPOP SHOWS. This bitch gave some of those vocal cords a run for their money. I wanted to hit her—literally kept visualizing it in my mind.
  • I have actually never had a bad experience with fans at DGD shows before but something about that night was off-putting to me. Between feeling like it was a brand new scene, like I got left behind, and the unfamiliarity of Andrew Wells on vocals, I just felt WEIRD. I was actually like 0.O when they came back out for encore and said they had 3 more songs because I kind of….just wanted it to be over. Do you know how nuts it is for me to say that? ME?? STRAWBERRY GIRL?! It’s interesting, because I was out of the loop for Cold even longer and yet, I don’t feel like this with that band, those fans. It kind of feels like it’s still 2001, in the very best way. I guess things change and you either adapt or move on. Sigh.

Ugh, this was one of my favorite songs of 2008, but with Kurt Travis and Nic Newsham* singing it, obviously.

*(Gatsby’s American Dream reunited and ofc aren’t coming to Pgh.)

• OMG Camille came out to sing Inspire the Liars and killed it. That’s one of my absolute favorite DGD songs. LET’S START A RELIGION.

I love that Henry immediately frames my posters when he get home from concerts.

So yeah, that was my first time seeing DGD in at least 7 years. I feel so strange. Obviously it always conjures recessive Christina sadness too since she was the only friend I had who loved DGD with me and I associate so much Jonny Craig stuff with her dumb ass. I hate that I let this get to me.

---

I was opening up to Chooch about this in the car on the drive home from Waldameer last night, how I had talked to my therapist about the weird combination of emotions I felt while watching DGD, like one part of me was the gatekeeper, looking around and wondering, “Yeah, but were these people at the 2008 show at Mr. Smalls?” (NOT EVEN THEIR FIRST SHOW, FYI!! Just the first one I ever went to in Pgh, so STFU Erin). Meanwhile, another part of me felt like I didn’t belong there anymore, like I was a poser. Of course, my therapist was like, “No, you’re not a poser! If anything, you have been a fan longer than most of the people there, most likely!”

Meanwhile, my blunt, “supportive” son goes, “Well yeah, you can’t just, like, come back in like that after being away for so long.”

WOW.

THANKS FOR ALWAYS REAFFIRMING MY FEELINGS OF INADEQUACY, DEAR SON.

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Made it to Thursday and I have tomorrow off so I’m in a super chill mood today! Even though it started with the hot water not turning off in the kitchen sink and Henry having to come home from work at 7:30AM to fix it, but you’ll have that when you’re renting a shanty in Brookline, I guess.

Before I get into anything else that’s on my mind, the Riot Fest lineup was released today and because I’m a cat that wishes to be killed I guess, I went and peeked. I had every intention of being like, “Cool story but I’m good.” I mean, we’ll be seeing PTV the next weekend here in PGH so there’s that. But I called Henry anyway because I got excited when I saw Sugar and Public Image Ltd. I even prefaced the call with, “Now I’m not saying I want to go to Riot Fest, but…” and then I read him the list of bands I was interested in, which happened to double upon second glance.

A third scrutinization has me 99.9% sold and adding tickets to the cart “just to see.”

What’s crazy is that before I even said I wanted to go, Henry was already acting like it was possibly in the cards and keeps saying, “We’ll talk when I get home.”

So, I guess I’m in the “negotiations” stage of Riot Fest planning. That was a whirlwind! From “not interested, but” to “I mean yeah, I do kind of want to” in 10 minutes.

(Also LOL @ Daisy Grenade—I can’t escape them! But that’s fine because I don’t want to!)

What else! Oh yeah, I never fully talked about our day on Monday because of the suicide on my street. But we did have a decent afternoon doing some antiquing after the god awful Memorial Day parade that slithers past our house every year, upsetting all of the animals and leaving trash and horse poop on the street. Thanks for that, parade organizers!!! Here’s Henry, “Oh, they’ll send someone back to clean that up.” LOL OK in what world? Because the shit remained in huge clumps all day, getting ground more and more into the asphalt as each car cruised over it, and then eventually sluicing away in a shit stream after it eventually rained.

Both antique shops were in Ambridge. The first one was mid and I felt that it had unreasonable prices.

I snapped this picture with my baby Kodak because I am getting into journaling again, but real journaling, and wanted to start adding sketches. So I used this one for my Memorial Day page! I’m still in the beginning “work with what you’ve got” phase a/k/a I have limited supplies and am just kind of scribbling to shake the rust off the creative side of my brain that has become stale and moldy from unuse over this last decade. Very low stakes! Here’s how it turned out, I spent approx. 10 minutes on this because I don’t have the time to be churning out “masterpieces” these days lol:

Bro I legit thought I spelled antiquing wrong and that would be the only thing that would bother me, to be honest!

There’s a vintage Hoover in there somewhere.

I didn’t buy anything from this place BUT there was a shelf of laserdiscs all the way in the back and I was excited because Amadeus was one. But then it got me thinking: Why have I never looked into laserdiscs as a collector item for my favorite movies?? So I went to eBay and not only did I find one for The Lost Boys, but I FOUND A JAPANESE IMPORT! The cover was so cool so I BOUGHT IT.

The second antique place was more my style – multiple rooms that were loosely themed, and the guy running the place was SUPER CHATTY and offered his shoppers popcorn and candy. OK, pal, I’ll stay! Say less!

I ended up buying a tin noise maker with clown faces on it (you know the things, they’re a dime a dozen at antique shops) and this folk art crucifix which is now hanging in the bathroom:

On the way home, we stopped at Rockin’ Cat Cafe for matcha, which Henry said they didn’t have (how did he know??) but they had a huge sign out front that literally said WE HAVE MATCHA or something. God he’s so annoying sometimes.

Just weird to think that while we were doing this, all the drama up the street was either about to unfold or already unfolding. Still feel sick over that!

Back to journaling though, I even got out one of my old vacation journals because I found a cup sleeve from the Ryan Cafe in Korea and I recently figured out that I can glue those in such a way to my journal pages that they become pockets! I’m sure there are millions of tutorials out there for that but I swear to god this is something that just occured to me when I found a cup sleeve I was keeping from one of our last trips to Philly and was about to paste into on a page when I thought: WAIT! JUST DO THREE EDGES AND THEN STICK THINGS IN THERE! This is in the back of my “everyday” journal:

Thank god I never throw things like this away, I’m such a sentimental pack rat!

I did, however, get inspo from a YouTube video recently where someone used a postcard as a page insert in her travel journal and I wanted to try it because this is GENIUS. I always end up with extra postcards because I forget that I don’t have a lot of friends to send them too (lol, #sadsackentersthechat).

In my old vacation journal, I had a postcard from Busan that I never ended up sending, so I taped it into the front to act as a page, and then printed out some pictures of us from Gamcheon Culture Village on the blank side. Then I sent it to Chooch because I have to giddily share all of my “journaling era” updates with him, like he gives even a shred of a shit. He did say “That’s cool” though, and then “Peenlop jump scare” so at least I know he watched the whole 8 seconds.

I usually don’t bring my vacation journal with me when we do small road trips but now I’m really stoked to bring it on the short, 3-day trip we’re doing over my birthday weekend (WITH CHOOCH) and he was like, “Great, can’t wait.” I even have a little carrying case for all of my journaling tools and accessories, LOL. I am definitely more focused on the actual writing portion of journaling though so this will be a fun exercise for me to maybe rely less on words and more on sketches and ephemera (tickets stubs, etc) that I accumulate. I was already doing that in my haunted house journals and my last two vacation journals but it was contained more to the front and back filler pages and less woven into the narrative, if that makes sense?

For example:

I’m just happy to have something to be excited about again!

What else….we finally started watching the show “From” after several friends hyped it to us. Will probs finish the first season tonight – I like it so far!

Meanwhile, I am still obsessing over “Obsession” and am dying for someone other than Henry and Chooch  to watch it so I can talk about it. I think I ruined Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie for Chooch because I became so hyper-fixated on it and texted him to death over it so I am trying not to also ruin Obsession for him because he is super stoked on it still. I just cannot stress how masterful this fucking movie was. I know horror movies tend to get shafted when it comes to awards because god forbid the horror genre is “lesser than,” but this film needs its damn flowers. If Amy Madigan was able to collect trophies for “Weapons” (liked that movie and she was cool in it but….huh? I was genuinely confused) then Inde Navarrette better be MORE than just nominated.

OK, I think I have successfully emptied my brain of all that it needed to transmit onto her. Ciao for now you juicy little steamed bao!

(I ALWAYS SAY THIS BUT SHOULD THAT BE MY SIGNATURE SIGN OFF???)

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