My fragile VIP heart is so full today! My ultimate favorites BIGBANG finally had their time to shine last night at Coachella. They were supposed to headline in 2020 and well, we all know what happened in 2020! Then they lost two members and between all of the scandals and backlash, G-Dragon’s hiatus, etc., it seemed like the possibility of a BIGBANG comeback was never going to happen. But it’s their 20th anniversary this year and they made their official comeback at COACHELLA.

IN AMERICA.

The last act to perform on the Outdoor Theater at 10:30PM on a Sunday, not headliners anymore, and still pulled THIS CROWD:

YouTube livestreamed it and I thought for sure my old lady ass was going to have to miss it, but I decided to go to bed early and then Henry woke me up at 1:25AM, saying, “Hey….five minutes.”

My eyelids shot open and I sat up like I was on a string. Grabbed my glasses and went downstairs to wait on the couch for it to start and when I say my heart was RACING.

I of course REALLY got into Kpop toward the end of 2016, and this was essentially the end of BIGBANG’s golden reign. They all began enlisting in the military shortly after. Then T.O.P. had his “scandal” which almost killed him. Then Seungri revealed his true colors with an ACTUAL scandal.

I long ago gave up hope of ever seeing them live. Whether as a 4 person group or 3 at this point, it was seeming less and less likely.

But this! It simultaneously made me feel unwell while also being healed?! I watched the whole hour and fifteen minutes with my hand on my heart, trying not to pass out. Henry watched the whole thing too – we both sat there quietly, no commentary. Then I just started sobbing, lol.

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This morning, it was the first thing I thought of when I woke up.  I immediately started scrolling through IG and Threads and was so happy to see how much praise they have been getting. The Kings of KPOP are back. They did that.

“Haru Haru” made me nostalgic for a time in Korea I didn’t actually live through. It BROKE me. Especially without T.O.P. Respect his wishes but jfc I really hope that one day he changes his mind and comes back.

Taeyang and G-Dragon performing “Good Boy”? Stop.

Daesung BRINGING KOREAN TROT TO FUCKING COACHELLA? He did that shit.

I have been so stoked all day (OK, while also slipping into sporadic sob sessions too!) and for the first time in years, I feel that old joy I used to get listening to their songs. Being a VIP is not for the weak, you guys. It’s been a rough 10 years. In fact, several years when Henry and I were in line to see Kang Daniel in Toronto, the girl in front of me asked me who my ult group is. I said “BIGBANG” on the broken wings of a sigh.

“I’m sorry,” she answered somberly.

It’s like that.

But today, I woke up feeling like this is the start of a new era! I poured my coffee in my BIGBANG coffee cup and put on a BIGBANG playlist while sitting down to work. I smiled like a goof while doing my boring work.

BIGBANG FOREVER.

Welp, I had therapy today and wasn’t planning on mentioning it, but I ultimately shared with my therapist the agonizing “what even is this feeling??” that has overcome me since hearing about Mark Lee’s departure from NCT last Friday. She helped me understand that it’s not weird or dumb, this emotion that I can’t pinpoint, but it really does signify the end of a golden era in my life and that it makes sense that I am feeling this grief-but-not-grief because no one died unless you count a past version of myself.

Please indulge me here, but I thought it would help to go back through the pictures Henry took of me at every NCT / Super M / KCON concert where I literally felt like my best, most happiest, purest self. NCT has been with me for years now and I really feel like while all the members were growing up, I was growing up in a way too by putting more even space between the Erin of Now with the Erin of Then, which wasn’t a good Erin.

KCON 2017!

Not me wearing a Pierce the Veil shirt to my first Kpop concert lol. June 2017!

That’s NCT127 in the red.

KCON 2018!

Saw them again at KCON 2018!

This was back when Winwin was still with them. </3

SUPER M 2019!

20     

NCT 217 in Newark 10/22!

Mark Lee on a bus stop ad </3

I spent so much $$$ on my ticket that Henry had to wait until the day of and get a nosebleed seat for himself. This was the selfie he sent me from his literal last row seat haha.

We stayed afterward too and waited for their vans to leave the venue just to get a split-second glance of them through the tinted windows, it was so much fun.

This was when I had FULLY accepted that in addition to VIP and SHAWOL (KPOP fandom names, don’t try to understand) I was now an NCTzen.

NCT DREAM 2023 in Chicago

This was the one that really sent me. NCT 127 had been to the States numerous times but the Dreamies never had. Until spring of 2023. Again, I threw down some serious cash on my ticket and I will live the rest of my life having not even a single regret. This was one of the best concerts and nights of my life. I bonded with the other NCTzens around me. I saw my bias Renjun for the first time ever. I cried so hard but also smiled so big and screamed so loud that I gave myself a headache.

That’s  me on the screen, smiling a genuine smile which doesn’t happen very often (I’m the President of the Fake Smile Club).

This was one of the happiest days for me and I think about it a lot.

This was when I escorted Henry to his seat, lol.

NCT EXHIBITION IN SEOUL 2024!!

OK this doesn’t really count as “seeing them live,” but there was an NCT127 exhibition happening at the DDP when we were in Korea for our “marriage mission.” Chooch was off Pokemon Go’ing so I made Henry go to it with me and I loved every fucking second of it.

I got this delightful mug in the gift shop at the end. They had one for every member and I got Haechan’s of course because he’s my ult NCT bias (tied with Ten who btw also just announced his departure from SM although he is allegedly still going to participate in team activities with NCT and WayV – we’ll see) but I wanted to get one of each, honestly.

Another fun fact is that we were in Korea for NCT Dream’s comeback, so I got to buy their new album from the SM Store and watch their video FROM SEOUL. Short of actually seeing an NCT concert in Korea, that was next level for me. (Although Chooch and I did see one of the Dreamies in 2019 – Jeno – when he was hosting The Show and we attended a live taping of it!)

NCT DREAM 2024 – LONG ISLAND

They didn’t have Renjun with them for this tour and that made me sad but I was still grateful to see them again!

There’s this inside joke within the Kpop fandom that no matter what the concert is, you are guaranteed to see at least one neobong (NCT lightstick) in the crowd and I have definitely found this to be true! It’s funny because now it’s crossing boundaries into non-kpop territory too.

Henry sits alone – again LOL.

JINGLE BALL 2024 DETROIT!

One of my work friends tried to talk me out of buying tickets for this since I had just seen NCT Dream 2 mths prior BUT THERE WAS A CHANCE THAT RENJUN WOULD BE THERE.

AND HE WAS.

Henry got to sit with me this time. I used my Capital One card for the presale and got really great seats.

This was on TV as well and some of my friends were like THAT GROUP YOU LIKE IS ON MY TV RIGHT NOW. YEAH BOY!

I was so grateful to get to see Renjun again but now, in hindsight, this would be the last time I’d see NCT Dream with all 7 members. JFC that stings.

NCT 127 3/25 CHICAGO!

I ALMOST DID NOT GET TICKETS FOR THIS TOUR. Some of the members were in the military. One was kicked out and we do not speak of him. I almost said, “Well, I have already seen 127 three times, I can pass on this one.” But then I was like, “Hello, what kind of shit talk is that for an NCTzen!?” So, I got the tickets. AND THIS WOULD END UP BEING THE LAST TIME I SEE MARK, MAYBE AT ALL.

Henry sits alone again LOL.

We made a bunch of pins to give out as freebies.  This is just a few – there were at least 100! <3

MARK.

Literally. The end of an era. I’m really sad.

So, I woke up at the crack of dawn this morning to the news of Mark Lee leaving SM and halting all NCT activities. First, I saw it from his own Instagram – you know it’s not going to be good when the post is a picture of a handwritten letter. I still didn’t fully understand the context – what was he apologizing for? Was there a scandal? Did he get hurt?

But then right after, I saw SM’s statement confirming that they had mutually decided to part ways after 10 years. Mark Lee! Literally carried 4 teams on his back at one time. The backbone of NCT. Haechan’s bestie.

It’s no wonder why there were so many videos of the NCT Dream members straight up sobbing during the finale of their Dream Show run in Seoul – we all thought they were just sad because that era had ended, but no, they knew. They knew it was their last time performing with Mark. Ughhhhh.

Sorry to be MELODRAMATIC, the man isn’t dead, but yo…NCT has been my antidepressant for YEARS. They were also at the first Kpop concert I ever went to – KCON 2017! I feel blessed that I got to see Mark so many times with NCT127, NCT Dream, and even – gloriously – Super M. I will support him no matter what, especially since it sounds like he made this decision for himself and he has admitted that he is scared of what’s to come.

FUN FACT, back when Chooch was a Kpop stan with me, Mark was his bias.

This is true with bands of any genre because aging is aging no matter how you slice it, but there is something especially jarring about watching Kpop groups grow up. There is little in life that makes me feel as old and panicked about time & mortality as going through an entire life cycle of a Kpop group and realizing that you’re reaching the inevitable expiration date. I hate it so much. I fear that NCT won’t survive this and their current & future military enlistments. I mean, I thought that all of the viral “NCT Dream crying” videos from this week were because they knew Haechan was due to enlist soon. Not this. (BTW, Mark is Canadian and exempt from military enlistment in Korea so Henry and I are always talking about how with NCT Dream, at least they would still have him, Renjun and Chenle (both Chinese), and NCT127 would have him, Johnny (American) and Yuta (Japanese), but I guess that is not going to be the case after all.

This is making me spiral out for so many strange, personal, possibly neurotic reasons. I have attachment issues (bigly). I take everything so hard. And it’s such a weird thing to be like, “Hi, I’m upset, can I talk to you about it?” to anyone other than Henry, who has been bracing for the fall out and of course it happens when he leaves to go to Lowe’s and I’m here alone, thinking about all of my favorite NCT memories, how I never got my NCT Dream tattoo (but really need to), and just how they have always been my cozy/comfort listen. Tears incoming.

This will always be one of my favorites:

And before I end this: A BIG FUCK YOU TO SM. I know it’s been said that this was a genuinely respectful departure and not the typical LEGAL NOTICE that these agencies are also putting out in these situations, I just feel like they could treat their artists better. They worked this man to the fucking bone for 10 years.

ETA: I just heard someone say that Mark chose himself and you know, TRUE. That takes away some of the hurt knowing that Mark is going to be able to do what HE wants to do now (hopefully starting with a vacation and lots of rest!!).

Thursday was our 2 year wedding anniversary! And it just so happened that the next Lolev beer pairing event was that day—yay, anniversary plans were basically made for us! This pairing was with Umber – a local woman-owned artisanal chocolate shop. Amani told us about this at the last Lolev event we attended so I had my eyes peeled for the event sign-up to go live!

I really love Lolev so much. Not only is the beer the best I’ve had in this city, but the ambiance is on point and the people there are so friendly and inclusive. The same bartender has been there every time we’ve gone – he’s the one who put me on to the Pgh Beer stamp book thingie – and his laugh so boisterously contagious. Plus, Amani is so upbeat and talkative, it brings even this near-recluse out of her shell.

When we were at the Self-Reliant Seitan pairing last month, Amani and I got into a conversation about Lolev’s match lager which they said wasn’t going to make a reappearance this year, so Amani had started a petition to show the brewers that there was a vested interest in this naturally-green beer perfect for that famously green March holiday. It was actually last March when I had it at our inaugural visit to Lolev. Anyway, Amani’s plan worked because a few weeks ago, Lolev announced on Insta that Iroh was making its much anticipated return! I was worried that it wouldn’t still be available if we waited for the Umber event, so Henry and I actually went to the Zelienople location the day it debuted.

And it was good that we did, because Amani said they actually didn’t have any left, except for one keg that she asked to be saved for the brunch event that she had planned to celebrate its return. I think she said it’s this weekend, actually, but she sneaked out two tiny samplers for us on the downlow – SHE IS THE BEST!! Henry doesn’t like matcha so he took a sip and then when she left the room he slid his glass over to me. Yessssss.

THE DEETS!

Would you look at these gorgeous chocolate drops of art?? Almost too pretty to eat. ALMOST. You better trust that I was choking on my saliva as soon as Veronica, the cocoa virtuoso behind the Umber brand, set down the box in front of me. I wanted to take Henry’s box too.

Veronica recommended taking a sip of the beer first, then a bite of the chocolate, separately. Then finishing the chocolate with another sip of beer at the same time. This was a good suggestion because it forced to slow down when my basic instinct was to essentially swallow each piece whole.

UGH EACH CHOCOLATE WAS SO GOOD. If I was forced to choose a favorite though, it would be the matcha. It was the perfect balance of matcha and white chocolate.

Oh! And we learned stuff that night too because when Veronica came over to sit and chat with us, she told us that white chocolate is actually only 2% less cocoa than milk chocolate?!? I truly do love white chocolate (I’m one of “those people”) and was never one to bitch if I got a white chocolate Jesus in my Easter basket as a kid, and sometimes I actually crave white chocolate over regular, but I always thought it wasn’t actually chocolate??!

I really love orange + chocolate.

This may have been my favorite pairing. It was my favorite beer of the night and the Mexican hot chocolate was subtly spicy and tasted JUST LIKE MEXICAN HOT CHOCOLATE in solid form.

I mean, would you look at the detail on these though??

Zeus was my favorite beer from the last pairing we went to and I was so stoked to try this Zeus-infused chocolate at the end. I could really taste it, too! Incredible. Amani said they are talking about doing the reverse now, where Umber chocolate is infused in a Lolev beer. Even if it’s a stout or porter, I will be down to try that. I feel like where Penn Brewery failed spectacularly with their Sarris Chocolate collab, Lolev will get it right.

I am such a simp for Lolev.

That’s how Henry always looks at me, btw.

What a fine way to spend an anniversary! And the best part is that Chooch is still home for spring break so one of his friends dropped him off at Lolev after they were done playing football at CMU, so he could be our DD! To thank him, we took up Umber’s offer of 10% off if we re-filled our boxes with chocolate at the end of the night (twist our arm) – Henry and I got one to share, and we gave the other to Chooch.

I can’t believe two years ago, we were in Korea. Bambi was alive. Chooch hadn’t yet committed to a college. It feels so long ago and like just yesterday, all at once.

I can’t explain fully what my deal is with Mama Steve’s, but I just really super love it so much. I was actually more excited about going here than Busch Gardens, and it has absolutely nothing to do with the food. It is all about the outdated ambiance for me. Please do not ever renovate, Mama Steve and Fam.

I was positively shaking with giddy anticipation. It was just as I had remembered!

Henry and Chooch were not even a fraction as stoked as I was. They’d have preferred the free hotel breakfast, I’m sure.

I’m not even going to pretend like this is the best food ever (although I’m the wrong person to ask since I’m very limited to what I can eat from this menu) but it’s just the fact that I truly get such frivolous joy from eating while swathed in a palette of baby blue. I mentioned this in my first ever Mama Steve’s blog post from…2021?? But it reminds me so much of my Pappap’s living room and dining room, color-wise. I feel instantly comforted every time I’m there!

Chooch was so over it before we were even seated, me taking pictures of everything like it was my first time there. But I was just so excited about everything in that moment! Chooch was back with us AND we were at Mama Steve’s!? Both of these things happening at once?!

I’m fairly certain that I took this exact picture the last time we were there but oh well. I love the coffee cups and I love the table tops and that’s that.

I became outrageously incensed because Henry’s meat-fists ruined this picture and you better believe I cried openly about it.

“Oh no,” Chooch said drily. “It’s too bad that nothing you wanted a picture of is still there. Like the tables. And that wall. Gone.”

NIRVANNA THE BAND THE SHOW THE MOVIE!!!!!!!!! Chooch said that I actually made him hate it with my zealous enthusiasm and wow, no one could have predicted that.

Anyway, in mock-excitement, Chooch blurted out, “Wow, 10 silver dollar pancakes?! Maybe that’s what I’ll get.” And then, “How big do you think they are?”

“Uh, silver dollar-sized??” Henry answered, incredulity pooling in the corners of his mouth. It was a whole thing. You had to be there.

That’s our server back there! Her name was either Lemon or Lenora. But she truly seemed to get a kick out of us and left our table chuckling to herself every time. When she took Chooch’s order and he hit her with the swerve of “vegetarian omelet,” she acted REALLY SHOCKED and goes, “OK! Vegetarian omelet….I thought you were gonna get the pancakes!” and then as she walked away, she said out loud, “I heard him say ‘10 silver dollar pancakes!‘” and then she chuckled so hard to herself. It was the cutest.

I don’t know what was going on behind my pancakes, but Henry clearly must have had the gall to ask Chooch to pass him the pepper and Chooch can’t complete any task without mouthing off in one way or another.

Anyway! I asked Henry if he would eat some pancakes if I ordered them because 4 p-cakes is too much for me. He said sure so I got a stack of blueberry and then immediately doused it with blueberry (or “blueberp” as it appeared on the carafe thing) syrup. “Wow, first you get my least favorite pancakes – blueberry – and then cover it with more blueberry,” Henry sighed. I almost peed my pants laughing because WHY WON’T MY BRAIN RETAIN THE FACT THAT HENRY HATES BLUEBERRY?!

Every time we go, we are usually only one of 2 or 3 tables. Lemon even told us not to hurry when she brought our check because, “as you can see, I don’t have any other tables,” she said with her patented chuckle. But then the hostess said, “The bus hasn’t come yet,” and Lemon chuckled some more so we weren’t sure if there really was a tour bus on the way or what? I mean, it’s freaking Williamsburg so I have to imagine that Mama Steve’s must get waves of crowds. I think every time we’ve been there, it’s been a weekday morning.

I look exhausted and my hair was wet. But I was so happy to be there! Henry looks like my prisoner.

And now for a series of pictures taken by Chooch which is always scary.

This was after Lemon busted us posing for pictures and did her “Pee Wee-watching-the-movie-about-himself-at-the-end-of-Pee Wee’s Big Adventure” chuckle.

Genuinely happy with a bellyful of blueberry pancakes from Mama Steve’s very own kitchen. Why does Henry look like he’s in the middle of psychological break, though. Like someone just put him out to pasture and told him to look at the flowers.

Oh! Speaking of the kitchen, we were desperately trying to figure out what they were listening to back there. It just sounded like the same several notes over and over. Chooch said it sounded like Nine Inch Nails because, “all I can hear is screeching and that’s what it sounds like.” I could see where he was coming from, but the cooks in the kitchen were a middle-aged black man and an old white lady. I mean, who I am to judge but they didn’t seem like the demographic for NIN.

My guess was that it was some sinister classical piece, something that would be used in an old horror movie. It was actually chilling. Henry even walked past the kitchen on purpose on his way to the restroom to try to get a better listen, but he said it only sounded worse the closer he got. We shouldn’t have sent the one person in our party who is hard of hearing.

(I actually really want it to have been NIN though because it just makes no sense, similar to my love for Mama Steve’s.)

Chooch always does this thing where he ultra-zooms on Henry when he’s supposed to be taking pictures of us, so I have a whole-ass collection of horrifying Henry close-ups on my phone. I sent this one to Alyson because it also happened to be her BIRTHDAY! She was excited because it was the live version of it, so she got to see Henry hee-hawing in motion.

And then we started our 6 hour drive home (well, first we had to stop at the Goodwill down the street from Mama Steve’s because Chooch’s latest obsession is starting a DVD collection). This was Henry whenever he was relocated to the backseat when it was Chooch’s turn to drive:

Wow. The end.

P.S. The last time we were at Mama Steve’s!

Williamsburg to Orlando: A Live Blog

I don’t usually care about these WordPress writing prompts, but this one was intriguing to me because I did not have the answer. I actually had to text my mom and ask her if there is any significance to my middle name. It’s the one part of me that I have always really liked. I like how it feels to say it and I like that it’s just unique enough that it’s not a name you hear very often without sounding ridiculously forced and make believe. 

I also like that there is a story behind it, BECAUSE YOU SEE for the first several years of my life, it was spelled “Rachele.” I even had this darling (lol) silver cup that had my name engraved onto it: Erin Rachele. When I learned how to write my full name, this is how I would spell it. But then at some point, and I’m going to say it probably had to do with the time my step-dad decided to adopt me which was in either 1st or 2nd grade, my mom was looking at my birth certificate and realized that she had misspelled my middle name as Rachelle. So, then I had to train myself to start writing it the legally correct way even though it was the incorrect way, and this is something that is so on brand with my life in general, so I really actually love it, without a hint of sarcasm.

But now I know that it stemmed from my Pappap’s suggestion of “Rachel.” My mom said that at the time, Rachel felt too popular, so she added the extra “e” to the end to fancy it up a bit. Knowing that my Pappap was a part of the naming process makes me love it so much more. 

Me, probably before I knew – or cared – that my current middle name was wrong LOL. <3

This post is brought to you by the same person who also had a completely made-up, imaginary birthdate put onto her wedding certificate. 

I found an old journal from 2004 in my room and I started flipping through the pages, which was a real choice because I am embarrassed and infuriated in equal parts. A quick summary of the the timeline this particular journal encompasses – I was going through the mentally draining and traumatic mediation process with my former employer, I was starting classes at Pitt, I was struggling to find a job, I voted for the first time (and said “I have never cared more about an election as I do this one” – 2016 / 2020 / 2024 Erin has entered the chat), and I was mad that my friends didn’t take my “writing” seriously. Which leads me to the reason for this post –

Apparently, someone wrote about me on LiveJournal and referred to me as a “humorist” which was such a compliment! I was riding high on this when my “friend” Keri called and I excitedly told her this, to which she said, “OKAYYYYYYY. Are you sure she was talking about you?”

I rant about this for a bit, and when I get the indignance out of my system, I go on to write that someday, Henry will make me “my own website” so I can leave LJ and “grow my readership” but that I wasn’t ready yet because I didn’t want to – wait for it – PULL A DAVID CARUSO U KNOW LIKE HOW HE OVERESTIMATED HIS POPULARITY AND LEFT NYPD BLUE TOO EARLY ONLY TO HAVE A DISAPPOINTING FILM CAREER.

DAVID.

FUCKING.

CARUSO.

If I hadn’t included the explanation in my journal I’d have 100% been googling “David Caruso who” right now in the year 2026.

Also, while 2004 was apparently “too soon” for me to “jump the LiveJournal ship,” 2007 wasn’t much better because I lost pretty much 95% of my “readership” which was devastating to me in some past timeline where I still thought I wanted to “write” but is actually so fucking funny to 2026 Erin that I had to “let’s just stop, drop everything” and come here to laugh about it alone to the OHE void.

And, in case you wanted to know, here were my fave bands that I was listening to in 2004/

One more picture:

Apparently, the house on the left was on fire which prompted me to sketch this in case Future Erin was reading this and miraculously didn’t still have the save view from her window as though she escaped this street in an alternate timeline but I do want to add that THAT TREE IS NO LONGER THERE! It was cut down a few years ago and I almost had a heart attack, I was so upset about it.

Felled Trees & Competitive Vaccinations, a/k/a things that have upset me this past week.

We were watching something where people were at a BBQ place in Buffalo and they got an order of hush puppies so I cried out in victory, “Hush puppies! I could get hush puppies if we ever went where.” Because you, vegetarians don’t typically fare well at bbq joints.

And just like that, a hidden memory was unlocked about the time in 1998 or 1999 when my then-friend Cinn and I went to some business in Forest Hills for a job interview (we both got it and on the day we were about to start, I was like, “Surprise! I quit” before even leaving the house hahahah, oh my lady of leisure days). On our way out of Forest Hills afterward, we stopped at a Long John Silvers because we both wanted hush puppies. I had no money on me but Cinn had a handful of Susan B Anthony coins for some fucking reason and that is how we paid for our hush puppies.

I told Henry this story and his only takeaway was, “Where was there a Long John Silvers out that way?” and even though I explicitly painted its location onto the imaginary map I was drawing in the air with my finger, he refused to take my word for it and had to do his own mental mapping before arriving at the same point as me, a full 10 minutes later.

Anyway, then we took the hush puppies back to my apartment and don’t quote me but I’m pretty sure it was the same day we took this dumb picture and I also have a vague memory of Cinn teasing my beloved cat Marcy with a hush puppy.

By the way has a hush puppy ever gotten so many shout outs in one blog post??

My friend Kristy invited me to this cool Black History Month Beer Release at Burghers last night and I think an Erin from another time would have found a reason to flake because it was one day notice and on a work night and honestly what goes on up there in my head, the mental gymnastics I perform sometimes to make stupid excuses to not do things.

But I haven’t seen Kristy in years and our last plans were legitimately postponed because it was the day after I had that stomach bug  two weeks ago and I genuinely still felt like shit plus, was I contagious?? Maybe! And also, I had to do a presentation yesterday at work for a semi-large group of people and I knew that having something to look forward to later (that involved alcohol, which I would definitely be wanting) would help me get through it. I’m just no good with these types of things (don’t worry – I had therapy an hour afterward and my therapist was prepared to talk me off a ledge lol).

God, it was so nice to sit with an old friend and drink a beer that I ACTUALLY REALLY ENJOYED! It was a Black IPA called Roots & Resilience, and it was dedicated to all the impactful Black Pittsburghers. I also got to meet Kristy’s friend Marcus who is the first Black licensed brewer in the city!

Kristy writes for Pittsburgh Magazine and asked me some questions about my road to beer-liking for an article she’s writing, and that was so exciting for me! It also made me realize that the narcissistic Leo in me could do a presentation at work with NO WORRIES OR STRESS at all if the subject matter was ME. How pathetic am I.

Anyway, we talked about EVERYTHING bugging us and hoo boy, was it cathartic while also still being really fun. It has always been easy to talk to her, no walls, and it didn’t feel like it had been 10 years (??!!) since we last saw each other. I have to be better.

I came home feeling so happy and like a giant weight was lifted – I guess I didn’t realize how much I really needed deep, soul-baring conversation and I hope it helped her too.

P.S. she made me this adorable little Jeeter from Kennywood holding a beer!

P.P.S. the second beer I had last night was an Italian thing that Kristy recommended and it was totally refreshing. I think now that I have been here twice, I’m putting Burghers in my top 3 local brewery!

P.P.P.S. we were talking about the first time we met in person and it’s worth sharing on here again because it was so random and sums up our friendship perfectly, LOL.

How to Die in the Event of a Rape

One thing about me that hasn’t changed since probably 2003 or 2004 is that I will NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE ON NYE. You can’t make me. I like to stay in, be cozy, not get social anxiety, and most importantly – avoid drunk drivers.

Plus, we got some heavy snow this year on NYE so even more reasons to stay in! Chooch was happy because we played some dumb game he got for Christmas called Hitster which he quickly realized he hated because I was REALLY GOOD AT IT. Basically, you can a QR code on a card and when the song plays, you have to correctly place it in the timeline you’ve created from other cards you’ve won. It gets progressively harder the more cards you accumulate.

You can also win a “token” if you correctly guess the name of the song and artist. Chooch made fun of me bigly because one of his songs was “Let it Be” and he goes, “Oh the hit Let It Be by Corsby Stills and Nash” as a throwback to when Corey and Kevin were here Thanksgiving weekend. I don’t think I wrote about this but it has been HAUNTING ME ever since so here goes.

Deep breath.

Exhale.

OK, we were playing that Songs of 80s and 90s Humming Game that I love so much. One of mine was “any song by Madness.” Um, OK I only know the ONE Madness song and I thought, “OK I have this in THE BAG.” So I started humming it and NO ONE was getting it. Everyone eventually gave up and when I said, “Our House by Madness” no one knew the song and I was aghast. But here is where it goes south.

“Yeah, it’s their cover of the Beatles’ song,” I said with full confidence. Chooch and Kevin were both immediately questioning this and I was like, “Yeah, the Beatles.”

We moved on with the game.

But two days later, I shot up in bed and cried out, “The Beatles didn’t sing Our House! That was CROSBY STILLS AND NASH!” I texted both Henry and Chooch about this, in a state of PANIC because if you know me, I am like half-savant when it comes to music things.

“Wow, good job,” Chooch replied, and then Henry admitted that he was thinking to himself that night, “What is she talking about??”

But then a few days went by and I was still emotionally self-flagellating over this when the actual Madness song popped into my head and I said out loud to no one, “THAT WASN’T EVEN A COVER, THAT WAS THEIR OWN FUCKING SONG, WHAT WAS I EVEN THINKING?!?!!?!?”

Am I losing it? Is this early on-set dementia? Was it just because I was drinking a strong Belgian beer and off my game??

Anyway, Chooch will never let me live me this down, hence his little Crosby, Stills and Nash quip.

I originally put on Seoul’s countdown and Chooch goes, “This was like 12 hours can we please just watch the US one, thanks.” W O W. Penelope was walking by and stopped abruptly to stare at the TV, which cracked me up.

Then she continued watching from the table.

Anyway, anti-climactic as always. Happy fucking New Year, etc.

But then for some reason, I brought up the Miz again I GUESS HE HAS BEEN HEAVY ON MY MIND SINCE LOSING HIS MATCH AT  THE DUMB WWE HOLIDAY THING ON SATURDAY and it inspired me to put on The Challenge compilation videos and Henry and I sat there until after 1AM reminiscing, saying things like, “What was his name? Abram I think?” and being totally mesmerized by CT (the best to ever do it, IMO). There was one clip of CT with Adam from The Real World Paris and I was like, “His dad was someone….but I can’t remember now.” Lionel Richie kept coming to me but I knew it wasn’t him. Eventually, I gave up and Googled and his dad is one of the founding members of The Commodores, so practically Lionel Richie! But it also made me laugh because one of the songs Henry got earlier that night during Hitster was “Easy” by the Commodores but he said Lionel Richie so we didn’t give him a token.

How’s that for too much detail into our boring NYE??

Meanwhile, I was avoiding my phone all night because the Stranger Things finale was released but Chooch and I had tickets to see it in the theater on New Year’s Day at noon. I wouldn’t even open Instagram to post a Happy New Year picture.

But finally it was Thursday and I was so sick to my stomach over the anticipation of saying goodbye to Stranger Things! I get so easily attached to everything and anything, it’s fucking stupid. I hadn’t originally intended on seeing it in the theater. Kevin and Corey were telling us it was going to be released this way back in November and at the time, they had thought it meant it was the ONLY way to watch it so I was really annoyed by that because I don’t generally enjoy going to the theater to see movies, let alone a series finale?? (Says the broad who is about to go to the movies again tonight to see Marty Supreme, but I digress! This is only because Chooch also wants to see it and I’m trying to actively be more supportive of the Hollywood Theater down the street.)

Of course, it turns out that it was also going to be released on Netflix so yay, but then Chooch started hounding me to reserve tickets to see it in the theater since he’d still be in town for it. I grudgingly did so. There were only two theaters showing it, and the closest one is in a part of town I try to avoid with all my might (the Waterfront, I have always hated the feel of this area) so I asked Chooch if he cared if we’d have to drive 45 minutes out of the city to see it in Greensburg, LOL. He said he didn’t care! He just wanted to see it and besides, the theater in Greensburg had more availability.

Can I just pause here and say that the fact that he chose to do this with me and not one of his friends actually made my heart feel like it was going to pop out of my chest? We have watched this show together since it came out in 2016 and this just felt so special, driving to Greensburg (me yelling, “SLOW DOWN!” to him every 10 seconds as if he doesn’t get his speed demon tendencies from me) and making him listen to my annoying music, ugh. It was probably the BEST New Year’s Day I’ve ever had, if we’re being honest.

There was some AMC promotion where every ticket came with a $20 food credit — the same cost as the ticket, so suddenly I wasn’t AS annoyed that it cost us $40 for these tickets!? I am so out of the loop with theater prices that I had to consult with my friend Nate at work who confirmed that $20 is the going rate for “special releases” I guess. Because of this, I figured we could just get there a little bit earlier and get food for lunch they allege to have Impossible nuggets, flatbread pizza, etc. But the young kid at the counter said, “no, we’re out” to both of these items and then before we had a chance to choose anything else, he added, “We’re out of basically everything.”

Dafuq.

Here’s $40 in concession credits, good luck.

There was a mall across the parking lot from the theater and we had a good 45 minutes, so I suggested just going there. I was fine because I had eaten breakfast, but Chooch hadn’t eaten anything yet and I didn’t want him to have popcorn for lunch (assuming they weren’t out of that too). So we went to the food court and luckily there was a Panera there so Chooch got his beloved caprese sandwich. Neither of us had ever been to the Westmoreland Mall before so that was a fun side quest.

Back at the theater, the concession stand now had a legit line as opposed to earlier when it was just Chooch and me, looking like we had only gone to AMC to eat lunch. I felt bad for all the people in line around us discussing what they were going to get when I knew it was basically candy, popcorn, or suck their fat one. (IYKYK.)

However, when it was our turn, I decided to press my luck and tentatively ask for a soft pretzel.

There was an awkward silence.

“Well…” the guy started. “We’re out of the pretzel bites, but we do have one Bavarian pretzel left…” He was saying this is a tone like he was trying to talk me out of ordering it, but that’s the pretzel I was actually asking about.

I was like, great my guy, OK cool, I’ll take the last Bavarian.

But he goes, in a weirdly serious tone, “It’s a pound and a half.”

LOOK I HAVE $40 DOLLARS IN FOOD CREDIT HERE AND WOULD LIKE MY FUCKING PRETZEL STOP FAT-SHAMING IT AND ME! Bro was about to pull out the bullhorn next to announce to everyone that this Fatty from the City had just purchased the last 1.5 pound soft pretzel.

Anyway, I got to use the stupid food vouchers – one Bavarian pretzel, one bottle of water, and one soft drink was $30. Jesus.

However, once that pretzel was birthed from the over and delivered to us, I opened the lid and yelped. That was one motherwhompin’ pretzel for sure and actually worth the $16. Plus it came with two things of cheese. It was so big (literally looked like a vine from the Mind Flayer) that Chooch and I only ate about 1/8 of it before Stranger Things started and took the rest home for Henry the Pretzel Monster.

I should have held it up to my head for scale – it was definitely bigger than my head.

Well, anyway – no spoilers here obviously but props to Chooch for twisting my arm because being in a sold out theater for this finale was everything. I don’t think I have ever experienced anything like that even back when I was regularly going to the movies (I used to be a huge movie buff as a teen and into my early 20s!) and I’m so glad that the Duffer Bros made this an option because the live audience made it feel so much more epic! I still plan to rewatch it at home on Netflix (Henry and I have been re-watching the whole series and are almost done with Season 4, anyway) but this was truly the coolest way to watch it. THANK YOU, CHOOCH.

He was 10 when it first came out, and being able to watch something with him that touched so heavily upon my own childhood as an 80s kid was wild and memorable!

(OMG don’t mind me but I’m just over here crying again, lol.)

The rest of the day was super chill. Just hung out at home, finally got to start scrolling through all the Stranger Things reaction and theories posts on Threads and Reddit, and just had a nice relaxing New Years evening.

That was a really nice start to 2026, although it also means it’s almost time to take Chooch back to Philly and I am really getting sadder and sadder thinking about this because having him home for this Christmas break made everything feel normal again and now I’m going to go back to being lonely during the days while I’m sitting here working.

Sigh.

Happy New Year!

1. You guys the weirdest thing happened. Ok not the weirdest but oddly coincidental.

Last Saturday, Henry and I were at Sly Fox downtown and Portishead’s “Glory Box” came on. I haven’t really listened to Portishead since the late 90s / early 00s and honestly that was probably the last time I heard that song. I even commented to Henry that I hadn’t heard it in forever and it was sort of unexpected.

Exactly one week later, we were at this bar / restaurant in Chicago called Fat Cat’s and it came on there too??!! I texted Chooch and even he was like “wow weird.”

THEN!! This morning before leaving Chicago, we stopped in this store called Wolfbait (my new favorite store btw) and IT CAME ON AGAIN. Actually, that was the only place of the three where that song didn’t feel out of context. But it still caught me off guard!

2. I like Bruno Mars and Lady Gaga but for some reason I never really paid attention to Die With a Smile and I’m 100% positive that I never listened to it in its entirety because I don’t listen to KISS FM anymore now that I’m not driving Chooch to school. But that song is super popular in Romania apparently so that was actually my first time really hearing it, many times.

Anyway – just the other day, DK and Seungkwan from Seventeen released a cover of it and it is my favorite thing currently. I love that Seungkwan is holding a lollipop instead of a cigarette!

Well, that’s all. We only just got home around 10pm and I am ready to crash out. These road trips, man. Henry was like, “yay! This is the last one we have planned!” Watch what you say, sir. There are any number of kpop groups that could announce a US tour at any moment lol. (Hopefully Wonho’s cancelled tour gets rescheduled soon but I’m super stoked that he was at least still here promoting and making the media rounds!)

It’s been a minute since I went to a concert alone (not counting the kpop concerts we go to where we sit floors apart) but when I saw that PVRIS was bringing their 10th anniversary White Noise tour to Pittsburgh I didn’t even bother asking Henry if he wanted to go because I knew he’d say no. So I signed up for the presale and bought one ticket just for me – cheap and easy!

The White Noise album technically came out 11 years ago and it was on constant rotation in our house for a long time back then! From the moment I saw the video for St Patrick, I was subbed.

I’ve seen them a whole bunch of times since then – mostly at Warped Tour and as the opener for other bands – but coincidentally every time I have seen them headline, I’ve been alone (this was the third time!).

Henry dropped me off at the Roxian 30 minutes before doors and I was kind of shocked at how short the line was. Granted, it was a cold night but that usually doesn’t stop die hards. The Roxian opened sometime after I had become totally immersed in Kpop so I actually had never been here before this night since I wasn’t going to non-Kpop concerts for a big chunk of there.

While I was standing there, I saw a man get out of a parked car down the street and start walking over to the line. I squinted and was like, “OMG HENRY CAME BACK! HE BOUGHT A TICKET AND CAME BACK FOR ME!” because the man was of Henry’s age, same glasses, same beard…but the closer he came the more groomed he was and also his beard was more solid white and manscaped well. So, not Henry. But that man was definitely attending the concert though because at one point during the night I turned around and saw him standing up in the balcony.

Anyway! Doors opened right at 7PM. As my purse was getting casually inspected (have fun sifting through my collection of YOU NEVER KNOW tampons, Male Security, one of the lady staff standing nearby said she liked my purse.

“And your shoes, too!” she added and I did my signature cringey Shirley Temple hand-under-chin smile thing that I do which totally sends Chooch. Good thing he wasn’t there but I was sure to text him about it.

(My purse and shoes were both Vans! 99.9% of my shoe collection is Vans. I stay consistent. The only non-Vans I have ever coveted are the G-Dragon Para-noise Nikes which have been unattainable for me over these last 6 years.)

Once I got inside, I made a beeline for the barricade. It’s my go-to when I’m at shows alone. Usually far-right barricade. It seemed like the people at the barricade to my left were also there alone, and we all just kind of leaned against it, mindlessly scrolling through our phones, until the opener – Dua Saleh – came on. That was fine with me because small talk is exhausting to me, especially after a full day of work that also included therapy. I was happy to stand there alone in silence until the show started.

I went in blind to Dua Saleh and was blown away. First of all, they came out on crutches, foot in a boot, and still managed to work the stage.

I was blown away – I think all of us there who didn’t have prior exposure to them left that night as a fan. Their singing was soulful and mystical, honestly hypnotic to the point where I began to forget where I was.

Afterward, we were entertained by watching the stage crew go through the tedious process of attaching furniture to the stage lighting trusses (I made Henry look up the technical name for me because I was just calling the “stage light things” lol). Meanwhile, not one but two Fergie songs played which had me dying because we were talking about the meme of her singing horribly on GMA (I think?) and doing back flips across the stage. I honestly can’t remember the last time I actually heard a Fergie song out in the wild, but they had an early 00s playlist pumping so it made sense but still!

The final result!

Oh, before I get into the rest, I want to give a shout out to the security at the front of the stage – there were three of them and they were so chill. I had fun watching them fuck around with each other in between sets and taking selfies to send to their security friends in the balcony. My first impression of the Roxian was really solid!

And finally….PVRIS. I knew I was going to cry but I didn’t expect to cry AS SOON as they came out on stage. (OK that’s a lie, lol.) But damn, it’s been too long since I last saw them live and that’s totally on me. (I think the last time was actually when I saw them in Royal Oak, Michigan?? That may have been in 2018.)

They tore through the entire White Noise album – no breaks, no banter in between songs. That did feel kind of sterile but also added a layer of mystery and seriousness, if you know what I mean. Like, this is such a special album and a special night honoring it, so it made sense that all the banter was saved up until the special set proceeding White Noise because it kept us all in the zone.

But Lynn is such a light-hearted banterer so it was definitely refreshing to hear her speaking voice after White Noise was finished. It brought us back down to earth, in a way, anchored us after that wildly emotional ride!

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You and I is one of my favorites and I screamed my throat raw during this one (not my video!!):

I don’t really know what else to say other than it was a great crowd, a great show, and an overall great night even though I was alone! I feel like the last two times I went to one of their headlining shows, the crowd was annoying, but the crowd was so cool and considerate at this show. When the person who was originally next to me gave up their spot to the young girl behind us who was SUPER STOKED TO BE THERE, she turned to me at one point and asked, “You can still see, right??” Her flailing arm was blocking my view a lot of the time but I just smiled and told her she was fine because go off, queen! She was living her best night and I’m not going to stand there and be a tight-lipped Karen because she has her arm in the air. (If it would have been her phone, that’s a different story!) But she was so cute and I was jumping and flailing about too so who cares. Just a really great crowd.

My voice was cooked after that though because I just screamed my face off most of the night (most of my video clips are just my big mouth lol). I felt so GOOD after that and was blabbering my head off to Henry on the way home.

PVRIS 4EVER.

SETLIST

1. SMOKE
2. ST PATRICK
3. MY HOUSE
4. HOLY
5. WHITE NOISE
6. FIRE
7. EYELIDS*
8. MIRRORS
9. GHOSTS
10. LET THEM IN
11. YOU & I
12. BURN THE WITCH
13. SNAKES
14. GOOD ENEMY
15. ANIMAL
16. DEAD WEIGHT
17. LOVE IS A….
18. I DON’T WANNA DO THIS ANYMORE**
19. HALLUCINATIONS
20. GODDESS

*Ugh, Christina and I liked this song together
**What I say approx. 87x an hour during my typical work day

UGH, I love PVRIS so much.

I am obligated to end this with a picture of Chooch and Lynn Gunn from Warped Tour 2015! The line was actually cut off for their meet and greet and were like “:(” but then Lynn saw Chooch in his Emarosa tank and she called out to us, “I designed that shirt!” (she’s also an artist!) and then waved us over to their merch table and took a picture with Chooch. She was so gracious and sweet and it’s something that stands out in my mind every time I think of PVRIS. <3

“Didn’t you just see them?” Chooch replied when I texted him from the City Winery last Thursday evening, as we waited for the Cold concert to start. Um yes, we did “just” see them back in the spring BUT this was a special, intimate tour in collaboration with the City Winery, and Cold was bringing SIERRA SWAN with them.

SIERRA SWAN!!!

As someone who was big into Cold during their earlier years, I was always sad to never get to see her perform any of the songs on 13 Ways to Bleed on Stage in real life. So when this tour was announced, I tagged my pal Shawn – we were little Cold groupies back in the day! – and he said that not only were he and his wife Jess down for this, but also his brother Dave and his wife Stephanie! I reserved a table for us POST HASTE. I was so excited to get to see Cold again with Shawn – the last time was probably in 2001 (!!!!) and for all of us to get to experience this together as “big” adults.

I did just see them last spring and did my whole emo “blood on the blog” thing after that concert so I will try to keep this short and sweet, but good Lord was it ever a magical night.

I sent this to Chooch, whose response was, “Wow he’s almost smiling.”

The opening band was Edisun and it turns out that not only did I see them open for Cold way back in 2010 (I went with Alisha, when she was still living in Pgh), but so did Shawn’s brother, Dave! Dave was also at the one they did with Evanescence, and so were Henry and me! So crazy, because I think prior to this I had only met Shawn’s brother once and it was forever ago when he was still a kid and I went to Shawn’s house for some reason?! Anyway, Edisun was really great but I felt weird because I was trying to take surreptitious bites of my kale salad (it was such a great salad!!). I’m sorry but it will never be normal for me to eat during a concert!? It’s weird enough having to sit during one. (This one was 100% a seated event.)

Plus, we were only one table back from the stage! The first row of tables were a tiny bit more $$ but honestly, they were TOO CLOSE and I would have felt so weird sitting down and eating that close to Scooter Ward, even though I was done with my (SUPER DELECTABLE*) kale salad by the time they came on.

*I cannot stress this enough – it had a spicy sunflower dressing! It was so good that it was a topic of conversation the next day when I had my check-in with my dietician!

They opened with “Ugly,” prompting the tears to fall from my eyes with no preamble or solicitation. Just a quiet and salty face waterfall. Nothing to see here.

Someone posted it on YouTube! Oh, please watch this.

The whole set was so beautiful and very “Storytellers”ish – even moreso than the last one which was where they played A Different Kind of Pain and 13 Ways to Bleed on Stage in their entirety. The best part though was that it was all different stories that Scooter told this time so it felt fresh and extra special. Scooter is so funny and interesting, and when he tells a story, I hang off of every word. I EVEN HEARD HENRY LAUGHING A FEW TIMES BEHIND ME! If someone can get Henry to take a time out from watching Instagram Reels, that’s pretty major.

There was one table in the front but over to the side full of people who had quickly gotten drunk and chatty, and Henry kept mumbling, “Shut up!” under his breath. Why would you come to this super intimate show and talk?? “Everyone enjoys concerts their own way” – OK, cool, but how are you enjoying it when you’re talking over the band and creating annoying background chatter for everyone else? Call me a Concert Karen if you want, but seriously. Go sit at the bar.

Sorry, this is a screenshot from the one lone video I took all night, but this is THE SIERRA SWAN.

Setlist: (There wasn’t one on Setlist.fm for the Pgh show but I’m confident the Philly setlist is the same)

1. Ugly
2. A Different Kind of Pain
3. End of the World
4. No One
5. Another Pill
6. Suffocate
7. Superstar
8. Bleed
9. Better Human
10. Delivering the Saint
11. The One that Got Away
12. You Got Away (Sierra’s song)
13. Welcome2MyWorld
14. Quiet Now (his story on this song’s background drew tears from the eyes of nearly everyone in that room – probably not Henry – and it of course made me think of Drew and how quiet the house is without her. I am so broken)
15. Trouble Is (Sierra’s song)
16. Strip Her Down
17. Check Please
18. Gone Away

After the show, we hung back at our table and chatted a bit, letting everyone clear out. I really enjoyed our company that night, so so so much! Especially Shawn’s anti-truffle rant which caught the attention of this lady who was there alone and seated at one of the empty seats at our table. So we started chatting with her in between sets and learned she is originally from Florida and moved here with her now ex-husband. She was so nice but I regrettably forget her name because I was drinking a wine flight and I am such a light weight.

I really wanted to say hi to Scooter, after years and years and years of getting so emotional that I would legit run out of venues after losing my courage. Yes, I have two super old pictures with him from 2001 but they are awful. With Jess’s encouragement and Shawn agreeing to accompany me, I decided to try for an updated photo.

Oh you guys. I am still a mess around this lyrical genius. The way he emotes such raw and visceral pain from his entire being just makes my heart race. Even when we first got to the venue and were standing in line to get our tickets scanned, Scooter walked over to the front of the line and my heart was beating so hard that it drowned out everything else in that room. “He needs to leave before we get up there or I’m not going to be able to do this!” I cried to Henry, imagining myself fumbling my phone when trying to show our tickets, dropping it on his foot, bursting into tears and running out of the City Winery.

Typical Erin moves.

Thank god Shawn and Dave took the lead with this one and made it super casual and normal while I was standing there blubbering on about the time Scooter gave me a Starburst in 2001 in Hershey.

“I still like Starbursts,” Scooter said in his cool and quiet way, and you know I have been holding that soundbyte inside the deepest pocket of my brain reserved for all the special shit. Like:

• my Pappap saying “doopah” instead of butt when warning me not to sit on the cold porch floor.
• G-Dragon saying, “I have something to tell you,” in Newark regarding THE BIGBANG REUNION.
• Baby Chooch saying, “You…motherFUCKER!” apropos of nothing.

I’m not saying this in a sexual / lusty kind of way at all, but Scooter had his hand on my lower back and adjusted it several times and I literally thought I was going to die just because he was touching me (NOT IN A STARSTRUCK WAY BUT IN A “THIS MAN’S MUSIC HAS GOTTEN ME THROUGH SOME SHIT AND NOW HIS  HAND IS ON MY BACK” KIND OF WAY I DUNNO I CAN’T EXPLAIN IT BUT SOMEDAY MY FRIEND ALYSON MIGHT READ THIS AND I KNOW SHE WILL GET IT).

“I know,” Henry said in a soothing manner when I cried, “AND I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE WHEN HIS HAND WAS ON MY BACK, HENRY!” on the way to the car afterward.

Scooter also liked Shawn’s moustache!

Yep, you know this signed poster has already been framed. Just gotta find a good spot for it!

Oh! Henry came back to the table with this special edition Cold wine bottle after going to the bathroom in between sets! However, when he was buying it he apparently struck up a convo with the opening back, Edisun, and after the show when we were waiting to see Scooter, one of the guys from Edisun walked by, PATTED HENRY’S SHOULDER AND SAID, “WHAT’S UP, BUD.”

Ew, the gloating smirk I got from Henry after that. Sickening!

LOL it’s OK. He bought me the signed version of the wine bottle so he earned that little moment in the spotlight, I guess. This is me being a grown-up. (Don’t worry, it won’t last long.)

What an absolute banger of a night that I will never forget.

OH! P.S.! The drunk lady that fell at the last Cold show at Craft House was there, and she was actually talking to Scooter right before us. She turned around and, in the true sense of the word, HOLLERED something to her husband, causing Shawn to recoil and say, “Oh my!”

Thankfully, she was sat at a table nowhere near ours. Yikes.

I started collecting magnets from all of our road trips years ago, mostly amusement park magnets adorn our fridge. I’m still a little kid about shit like this (although as a kid, I collected SPOONS from everywhere I went at the suggestion of my Grandma Kelly ❤️ and then my mom THREW THEM ALL AWAY) and I get super tunnel vision about this every time we go away. “I CAN’T LEAVE WITHOUT A MAGNET!” I’ll cry in the key of Sally Struthers Starving Kids Commercial.

I was going hog wild in Romania (even remembered to grab one in London since I wasn’t collecting magnets yet when I was last there) and as I was giddily sorting through them the other day, I realized that I FORGOT TO GET ONE IN BRAȘOV!!!

And we were there for two nights, too!! I vaguely remember saying, “no! I’m not getting a magnet from the first place I walk into. I will shop around” because I always impulse buy the first one I see only to find better ones later in other stores. Ugh. I can’t believe this oversight! Granted, I did get sick while we were in Brașov so that definitely impeded upon my desire to shop but still. I can’t believe this.

Does it count if you buy a magnet online?? I mean, I was truly in Brașov but is that cheating? What if I never make it back to get an authentic one? Only I would have restless nights over a magnet (OR LACK OF ONE).

Anyway, here are my new magnets for the collection:

WHAT SHOULD I DO?? Buy the one I found on eBay? Make my own out of one of the pictures I took while there? Maybe that’s the way to go. Calm down, Erin. No one cares.

25 years ago last week (missed the exact anniversary, I’m a failure) I went to Canberra, Australia alone to make my dream of seeing the Cure come true. You can’t ever say I’m not a go-getter.

It’s kind of eerie/cool but there were numerous Cure “Easter eggs” around Romania while we were there, like that poster I kept seeinglike that poster I kept seeing, another poster for a concert next summer that they’re headlining with 21 Pilots, and hearing The Last Day of Summer at a bookstore in Bucharest and that is actually one of the songs on the album that the Cure was touring in support of when I saw them in 2000. Such strange and delightful kismet!

OH AND THIS TRANSYLVANIA TCHOTCHKE I HAD TO BUY BC IT LOOKS CURIOUSLY LIKE ROBERT SMITH:

Henry recently digitized my old 8mm tape from that trip and it was my first time rewatching this in probably 20 years. The cringe session was intense. I know I’m going to regret this but here’s the clip of the actual meeting. Ugh I hate myself so much. The way Robert side eyes me and says “we just spent 6 weeks there…” when some radio person tells him I came from America to see them.

Henry just kept saying, “you were just a kid, it’s ok” instead of what I wanted to hear which was, “No! You were great! Look how…not frumpy and awkward you’re being! You made a…great impression! So much…personality! Robert probably still remembers this moment fondly and didn’t even notice the glaze of anxiety on your chubby face.”

Instead, when I said, “Oh…I was going to put this on Instagram but didn’t remember it being this cringy” Henry goes, “yeah I was gonna say, when I was pulling this off the camera I thought, ‘oh she will never want anyone to see this.”

WOW OK SUPPORTIVE.

I still have never properly written about this experience, just little pieces. Maybe Someday.

(THAT’S A CURE SONG BTW.)

Also, here’s a recording of when I was on a radio station in Canberra trying to weasel my way in to meet the Cure lol. It worked!

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