Dec 232023

Last Saturday was Megan’s annual Christmas party and this year’s theme was a cocktail competition! I had every intention of participating but with all the stress and chaos of planning my own party the week before and then just life generally having me in a chokehold, I ended up delegating a cookie order to Henry so instead of half-assing a cocktail (it’s all or nothing with me, you guys; if I’m going to participate in a contest, it’s for gold, not for fun), we (haha “we”) full-assed a batch of jalapeno zucchini cookies with a lime glaze. Henry won a cookie contest off this recipe several years ago and it’s been our go-to cookie recipe ever since.

And by “go-to” I mean that he made them approx. one other time. I think it was when Chooch was making cookie care packages for Coronamas 2020.

Anyway, not everyone threw a drink into the cocktail ring, so I was relieved about that. I was perfectly happy to be a judge, though!

Lauren, Nate, and Amber were also there! And Megan’s friends, Sami and Lindsay, whom I have gotten to know a bit from some of Megan’s past parties and social media. I was glad to see them and branch out a little!

Megan and me! I’m pretty sure this was only the first hour of the party and you can see it in my eyes, you guys. Lightweight.

Everyone was really excited that I remembered the existence of .5 selfies.

:D Not me being a fucking pest.

They made me take a real one, and then also made me Facetime our work pal Vicki in Chicago and she actually answered! I would never answer a Facetime from me. Honestly.

Apparently, Vicki yelled at Nate for not Facetiming her from Chingumas, so this was heavy on his mind and he didn’t want to get reprimanded two weeks in a row.

Here’s Megan announcing the winners! Mary’s espresso martini came in first. It was so good. Everything was so good. Henry was in charge of fetching me samples and he claims that he got me one of everything but who can be sure. (Megan had, like, double shot glasses on hand for the sampling.)

HENRY MADE A FRIEND. Later in the night, I was outside having A DEEP CONVO with my new friend Joanna (you will meet her here soon, hold on, I’m out of order) and Henry’s new friend was also out there smoking. I was shivering because I didn’t have a coat on so he was like, “OMG here” and gave me his flannel. Then a few minutes later, some woman came out to get a beer and she goes, “I just wanted to see who was wearing my husband’s shirt.”


I told Henry this later and he was like, “Good job, idiot.”




LOL OK here is my new friend Joanna, who came in a tornado, acting like we already knew each other and I was just buzzed enough that I was like, “OK I WILL PLAY ALONG” while everyone else was like, “Oh no.”

You guys, it turns out that Joanna and I actually grew up on the same street in South Park!!! I didn’t realize that until the next day when I texted my childhood bff and said, “Hey I met this girl who graduated a few years after you at SPHS, do you know her” and she was like, “Um yeah, she lived on our street! Her parents still live there!” So I texted Joanna and told her this and she was like OMG WHAT and it’s like fate, you guys, even though we will probably try to hang out at some point and realize that the magic of being manic together at Megan’s cocktail contest thing does not transfer to real life scenarios, like having coffee or eating ravioli, I don’t fucking know.

This was shortly after Joanna and I met. She was sad because no one was eating her storebought cupcakes and I said, “Oh here, I’ll have one” and as I picked up the container, I said, “Oh look! One is gone! Someone ate one!”

“Yeah,” Joanna slurred. “MY UBER DRIVER!”

And then you guys, you guys, my god, she started laughing so hard that her voice got caught and then she was crying from the strain of it all and I was just there for the ride, laughing along with her, but she kept thanking me for making her laugh the hardest she had all year, I mean, she even texted me when she got home that night to tell me again, and also the next day. I…didn’t do anything though?! LOL!

Lauren got this picture AND video of the scene:

Us with Mary, whose cocktail placed first and is an incredible singer! She has a Christmas album on Spotify and sang for Joanna and me on Megan’s backporch! She has recently gotten back into acting and I want to go to one of her shows.

The Law Firm Connection.

Anyway, that was a REALLY great night and I didn’t realize how much I needed to let out steam. I had fun at my party too but….I was fucking stressed and distracted. I didn’t even really drink that much at my own party! Which is probably for the best. But yeah, I really needed this night of social butterflying, and it was fun to me the Old-Real Me again for a few hours, not giving a shit if I’m making an ass out of myself (and I assure you that I was, lol).

Say it don't spray it.

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