I have nothing left to give today so Henry suggested, “Hey SWEETIE why don’t you let me do a guest post today? I could tell your imaginary friends about my five favorite songs that NCT127 performed last Friday since you have been too lazy to do your own concert review.”

In so many words.

I’ll try to include live performances where possible if I can find decent quality, whether it’s from the Chicago show or not, who cares.

So I guess he will dictate the rest of this post to me. Bye.

1. GAS

Why, Henry? “Because I like the song.”

God OK, Henry, calm down.

2. Bring the Noize

Why, Henry? “All of my reasons are going to be I like the song, I don’t know.”

Great. I also like this song so much but it was sad without Jaehyun (he’s in the military).

3. 2 Baddies

Do you have anything to add, Henry? “I just like the song. It’s better live.”

4. Regular

Anything to add about Regular? “Um, not really. No.”

5. Kick It & Walk (tied)

Kick It is Henry’s favorite NCT127 song of all time yet when we were at the DDP in Korea last year and they had the video for it playing on a huge screen with no audio, he DID NOT KNOW WHAT IT WAS. I was actually sickened. The choreo for Kick It is super distinguishable!?

I’m not asking him any more questions because his non-answers are pissing me off.

What an absolute waste of time, but there you have it – Henry’s top 5/6 favorite songs from last week’s NCT127 concert where apparently, he added Mark as his co-bias with Yuta??!? He just told me this the other night! I was like, “Wow OK, Mark coming in out of nowhere.”

On our way back to Chicago for another concert! NCT127 this time and I am so excited – their last time in the US was 2022 and even though they’re down 2 members due to military enlistment and 1 due to being a garbage human, I gotta go and support the rest of them.

1. Corey Haim 2.0

G-Dragon’s return has made me feel alive again. The pure joy and excitement I have felt this past week after his new album dropped is reminding me of…well, what it used to feel like to be me before 2024 came and terrorized my soul. But with this has also come the ADMITTEDLY DELULU dream of GD being my soulmate (lol I can’t even type this without cracking up at how much of an asshole I am). Since Henry is my best friend, I told him that I have two fantasy scenarios in which I meet GD and he falls in love with me:

• 1. We meet TOTALLY BY RANDOM at the Warhol Museum where I pretend to not know him and we instantly imprint on each other probably in the cloud balloon room if that’s even still there after making eye contact in a balloon’s reflection and then we both smile at each other and for some reason he really likes my Sloth face. Then he comes to my house because he’s hiding from sasaeng fans and I have to run around hiding all of my kpop stuff when he’s not looking and then everything is going fine until he sees the pictures of Korea on the wall (I do tell him that I’ve been to Korea but not bc of Kpop) and he’s really impressed and happy that I admire his country’s culture but then he’s like “why do you have a picture with my dad.“

• 2. Pretend that I do know him but I’m very respectful and address him as Jiyong-ssi and speak to him in my jilted Korean and even though I’m a fan he can tell I’m NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS and we imprint on each other and then Dispatch announces on January 1 of the next year that G-Dragon has been secretly dating AN AMERICAN WHITE GIRL who is also kind of fat but love is blind to quote a classic GD track. Then we get married and Taeyang performs at our reception. I guess somewhere along the way I divorce Henry (I think we actually have to go back to Korea if we ever need to get divorced haha).

I mean to be fair this COULD happen because I have been sporadically commenting “Come to Pittsburgh – we have the Warhol Museum” on his IG posts since 2017.

(In case you didn’t know, GD is a big art enthusiast. Duh.)

I was just telling Henry that I haven’t felt this crazy maniacal desperate obsessed with a celeb since I was a kid and only had eyes and room in my head for thoughts about Corey Haim. I had it BAD and that is what this is. This is Corey Haim Syndrome, Adult Years.

And then:

“Wow, GD likes so many posts he’s tagged in on IG. Maybe that’s how I can bait him. What should I post a picture of though?

“You at the Warhol,” Henry mumbled.

2. Priestley Pillow

Piggybacking off the Corey Haim reference, when 90210 first came out I obviously was all about it. I mean, I was in middle school, come on. My dad INSISTED that I “had the hots” for Jason Priestley?! This boiled my blood because hello, Luke Perry?!

One day, of my idiot parents came home with a fucking heart-shaped pillow with Jason Priestley’s face on it and they would take turns whaling it at me.

It was so annoying to me BECAUSE I LOVED LUKE PERRY so I eventually gave the pillow to our German shepherd Rama who did his thang with that effer.

3. PARKING DRAMA REVISITED

There’s always some element of parking drama going on in my neighborhood but last year, the Catholic church across the street brought us all together by becoming our common enemy when they pounded a sign into the ground like a crucifix warning that NO OVERNIGHT PARKING WAS ALLOWED AND ALL VIOLATORS WILL BE TOWED.

I thought I had bitched about that on here when it happened last winter but I guess not – all you need to know is that it threw a lot of in a tailspin because we live in duplexes with garages that are old and narrow so no one actually parks in them, and street parking is not recommended on our block because our street is basically a speedway and accidents happen A LOT.

So we had to work with our neighbors to basically Tetris our cars into one shared driveway. It was fine in the end but annoying.

Eventually, everyone started ignoring the sign and parking over there again with no consequences lol. What are they doing to do, sic God on us.

Anyway!!!! Last Friday I went out for my morning walk and noticed all the cars (mind you, there are only a handful of people who park over there and also the employees from the behavioral health house on our block and the lot is HUGE) had bright orange notices on the windshields. I threw ours out but it said something about NEW MANAGEMENT and NO PARKING WITHOUT A PERMIT IS ALLOWED.

Ok so now no parking AT ALL?! I will tell you right now that I do not like pulling our car down the driveway and parking next to the house because I’m so afraid I’m going to scrape it. One of my many issues.

HNC’s wife was like I WILL GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS because we all decided that if there was an option to just pay for a permit, that would be preferable. I mean not that I want to be giving money to CHURCH but I’d rather that than have my car sideswiped if I park on the street. Plus, it alleviates the future feuds that are bound to materialize with the neighbors while trying to share space.

Guess what the church said?? THAT THEY HAD NO IDEA WHAT SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT.

Turns out, it was the SMALLER EPISCOPAL CHURCH NEXT DOOR!! And it’s not their lot, it’s the Catholics’!!! They lease part of it to them I guess?! So the Catholic Church was like we don’t care if you park there, we’ll get the bottom of it. So now we created a religious turf war! This is so exciting. I wonder if they will stand in the parking lot and shout holy spells at each other.

Fucking Episcopalians. Also you can see the ignored “no parking” sign in the bottom left lol.

Hopefully when G-Dragon takes me back to Korea with him, I’ll never have to worry about these dumb things again.

4. When Henry Found Out Our Car’s Name

We were just talking about how we have to come back out this way again next month because I bought us tickets to see Onew (from SHINee) in Detroit.

“Do you even like Onew?” I asked Henry because I don’t think I ever actually asked him this before??!!

“I guess I do now,” he mumbled and I didn’t like his lack of enthusiasm.

“Well, I like him a lot!” I huffed. “I mean, our car is even named after him.”

“….it is?” Henry asked in a mumble deep fried in confusion.

“Um hello? Yes? I named the car Jinki the day we bought it?!” (Jinki is Onew’s real Korean name.)

So then I had to look up the blog post where the nomenclature was so declared along with a picture of an Onew poca with the car in the background. God!!!

Anyway, a little while later I put on an Onew song and Henry knew it was him so there’s that at least.

________________________________________

INTERLUDE: we’re discussing the upcoming G-Dragon tour and how it’s going to be scary trying to get tickets etc and for some reason Henry used the word “minuscule.”

“WOW, that’s a big word for you. Did you just learn it from one of your lame podcasts?” I instigated.

“I learned the word ‘cunt’ a long time ago and I’m fixin’ to use it,” Henry muttered. LOL WOW SLOW DOWN BUD.

________________________________________

5. ROADTRIP OREO SUCCESS

Our group chat at work yesterday was named after National Oreos Day and someone shared a picture of some new limited edition Post Malone flavor which sparked debate over classic v. Seasonal flavs. Now, I’m no Posty fan by any stretch of the imagination but when I saw that these are salted caramel & shortbread, I decided I could forget the Post Malone part.

My review that I sent to Nate to pass on to group chat:

I’m glad we didn’t have to buy a full pack. They’re not TERRIBLE but the salted caramel creme is an overwhelmingly powerful flavor and the smell of it was almost off-putting when I opened the package. One cookie is OG chocolate, the other side is shortbread. Worth trying once, will never buy again.

So, that’s that!

Also while we were at the rest stop, we were in line at Dunkin and two moms and their daughters got in line behind us and were practically hanging off my back they were so close AND LOUD. I even sidestepped around Henry to get away from them while saying “Jesus Christ those people are so close” – turns out they were DANCE MOMS with their teenaged DANCERS. Figures. I was like “Can you please not??!!” as they jostled me around in an effort to touch and manhandle every bejeweled coffee tumbler on display next to us.

Ok that concludes this edition of Friday Five.

Every week I’m like yeah boi, Friday Five, let’s get it. And then I quickly realize that I do not have five things to talk about. I am going to realllly try hard today though because Henry just left to go to Joann since they’re all closing and he’s trying to stock up on his crafty girl supplies.

1. Onew (!!!) announced a US tour for this spring and I am so stoked about it because you know how much I love SHINee but also, Onew’s solo work is to die for. You know I must really love him because I named our car Jinki which is his non-stage name! Anyway, tickets go on sale next Friday but we’ll be en route to Chicago then and I really don’t want to eff around with Ticketmaster on my phone in the car. Then! I saw that there is a Citi presale on Thursday so I signed up for a Citi credit card just for this. The way Kpop has a death grip on my life, yo. Anyway, wish me luck. We’re hoping to get tickets for the Detroit show at the Filmore!
2. I found out yesterday that DIANE WARREN – songwriting legend – wrote “Drama” with G-Dragon and I am speechless. It made me fall down the Diane Warren rabbit hole last night though because I knew some of her song-writing credits but there were a ton of songs on her “top 10 charting” songs that I loved and had no idea she wrote. “SHE WROTE LOVE WILL LEAD YOU BACK!!!” I screamed to Henry last night, who responded with a group of question marks Double Dutching above his head. “UM, TAYLOR DAYNE??” I scoffed, and then immediately put on the video. “There’s only one Taylor I listen to and that is DAYNE,” I said smugly and considered posting that on Threads but was too tired to deal with Swifties coming for me. Then I just got really pissed because how did she peak so long ago and not go on to be one of the leading Divas of our time!? Also, when I dated Jeff, he mentioned several times that he thought I looked like her (??? I don’t but OK???). And also, a lion. Which, OK. I can see that because I do get angry quite often.

2.5. I am still obviously really riding this G-Dragon wave hard. I can’t tell you how good it feels to wake up every day with G-Dragon in my feed, making TV appearances, smiling, radiating charisma, BEING A FUCKING KING. Ugh, I am still just as obsessed as I was in 2016.

3. OK this is probably somewhat dark but I found the below picture the other night and started laughing (it’s not funny at all actually but also it really kind of is) because I am fairly certain this was from my dad’s birthday in May 1995, after he and I had one of our signature knockdown drag-out fights and he slammed me into the ground in the backyard and then later, my mom was like, “Carry your dad’s birthday cake to Pappap’s house.” UM OK? Are you stupid? Why would you ask me to do that?? Anyway, we had a path that went from our backyard, through the woods (literally) to my Pappap’s backyard so that we wouldn’t have to cut through our neighbors’ backyard to get there. While walking on that path with my brothers, barely holding the cake box, I go – and I remember this V I V I D L Y – “Ooops” as I accidentally-on-purpose dropped the cake onto the ground. LOL Classic Erin, as they’d say! Anyway, I BELIEVE this picture is THAT DAY after everyone sat around to eat the smashed cake and TO BE FAIR only one side of it got ruined as I recall. I showed Henry and got to retell the story that I know I have told him before but he’s almost 60 and doesn’t remember anything. I was cracking up and he just frowned. Also, what was I thinking with that hair color?!!

(WAIT DID I LOOK TAYLOR DAYNE ADJACENT IN THE MID-90s??? I guess I’d have to see a picture of her after she intentionally spite-drops her dad’s birthday cake.)

4. Peenlop Time!!

5. I bought myself this jacket from Unlogical Poem as a Valentine gift to myself (and then I spammed Henry with a link of something else I wanted from Lala which was very annoying to him but he got the hint) and I love it! I wore it to the Abbey last week for our ladies lunch and the early 20s hostess LOVED IT and I was like YEAH YOU DO.

 But these are things I have been allowing myself to do lately – splurge a bit on clothes. When we were coming home from Chicago last week, I was wearing this fuzzy coat I have from Delia*s that has flowers on it and kind of looks vintage? We were at a really crappy Speedway outside of Toledo (I felt like JACK GRIFFIN from AP Bio) and some lady called out, “I LOVE YOUR COAT!” as I was getting back into the car. I KNOW THAT’S RIGHT. I had to immediately text Chooc to tell him this because you all know how much he loves it when strangers love things about me:

Some lady outside of TOLEDO told me she liked my coat today. // In a Speedway parking lot. // You would have been mad. // Maybe someday you’ll have a daughter. // And when I die she’ll be like ‘I want all grandma’s coats and purses.” // And then they’ll all be in your house again.

I know this is an unexpected response, but Chooch said, “Wow” to all of that and then “no” to the last part.

Here’s the aforementioned Delia*s coat from last March!

Welp! That was 5, I did it. I squeezed it out. Let’s end with my new favorite G-Dragon song??

First Friday Five of the New Year, what’s good yo.

1. My Top Nine of 2024

I had already checked out my Top 9 earlier in the month, but now you apparently have to pay to UNLOCK the middle picture? Too bad I already know that it’s the picture of my Bambi memorial tattoo, nice try Diddy.

I feel that these are pretty self-explanatory but:

1. Married in Korea
2. Chooch’s last day of high school
3. Chooch’s graduation
4. Chooch’s first day of senior (wow, a theme you say)
5.  :(
6. Chooch’s graduation party
7. Bambi’s memorial IG post :(
8. Making our wedding bands in Korea
9. A click-bait re: Chooch letting me buy him a jacket in Korea because it was March and chilly and he only packed t-shirts per his norm.

2. We Got a Rug

….we got a rug. It doesn’t fit the entire back porch but it covers most of the cold cement that wasn’t already covered by another rug. I like this. It was cheap and fits the bill. And so PINK! It arrived just in time for Chingumas which was nice because the weather was mild enough to use the porch as a “party annex” and the rug made it feel so cozy.

3. Suprise Package

My co-worker Amanda sent me this cute squirrel dish towel set for Christmas and I thought that was really nice. And speaking of my squirrels.

One of my neighborhood squirrels came to the porch last week, begging for walnuts. I started to open the door to put walnuts in his bowl (literally a small pet food bowl that I keep on a chair on the porch – they’re so spoiled) but one of my neighbors was outside so I didn’t want to get stuck talking. Instead, I opened the door a bit and tossed some walnuts onto the porch….

Buddy jumped off the chair, sniffed the walnuts, stood up at my front door with his paw on the window, gave me A LOOK (I swear to God) and then jumped back on the chair next to his bowl. He wouldn’t eat the walnuts off the ground because he wanted them in his bowl!! They have me wrapped around their creepy little fingers!

4. Petty Post-Christmas Feelings

Although, I have confirmed with several people and my therapist that my feelings are valid. But on Christmas Eve, I had taken a large bottle of Delirium Noel to Corey’s house so that we could all enjoy it with dinner. My mom didn’t have any of it, so I was surprised the next day when she texted me some questions about it, i.e. where I bought it, how much. I was so stoked about this because silly me, I thought she was showing an interest in something that I clearly based on my exuberant Belgian beer gushing at Christmas Eve dinner.

But no, she was just interested because her best friend’s daughter who she is like obsessed with and likes so much more than me “likes beer” – just “beer” in general I guess so presumably my mom is going to get her a bottle or tell her about it, or adopt her as her own daughter and turn the attic into one large bedroom for her with a slide that goes down into my old bedroom which will be converted into a walk-in closet/lounge area which was something that I wanted to happen when I still lived at home BUT NEVER DID probably because my dad intervened, who knows.

But yeah, I’m jealous of a girl I only met once when I was in my 20s and she was like, who knows, 5 or something and even then my mom was smitten with her and me, the 20-something year old, got so upset at my mom’s house when we were all over there one summer afternoon that I hid for hours underneath the antique roll-top desk in the living room and no one cared except for Corey, and Henry’s sons, who were all in elementary school at the time, and they were the only ones trying to find me.

Suddenly, a text message about Delirium had me wanting to hide under antique furniture all over again, age 45.

I talked about this in therapy yesterday because my therapist knew I was anxious about seeing my mom on Christmas Eve and I just started pouring it all out of my brain and heart and she was like, “This is really unfortunate because you live such a cool and colorful life and you and Henry are always going places and doing fun stuff, but she doesn’t show any interest in knowing this about you.” And that’s it for me, exactly. What else can I do? Nothing really. I have to just live the best life I can for myself, for Henry, and for Chooch and that has to be enough. I know this deep down and I know that with a lot of hard work therapy will eventually help me with that but everything still feels so raw like it was yesterday that I moved out of her house.

HAHAHA FAMILY AMIRITE.

5. End of a (sweet) era

Our Sugarspell Scoops friends are temporarily closing shop here soon because they were not able to come to an agreement with their landlord, so we stopped by last weekend to stock on some pints and give them some Kpop Dad’s (Vegan) Kimchi, haha.  I have loved supporting these guys over the years and am confident that once they find a new location, people will follow.

Anyway, we got a Ho-Hos pint and dammit if it doesn’t actually taste like frozen Ho-Hos in ice cream! It made me nostalgic because I can’t remember the last time I had a Ho-Ho (they were my faves as a kid until I discovered Zebra Cakes in the middle school cafeteria) and I attribute much of baby-fat to those delicious rolls of processed sugar.

——————————-

A BONUS PICTURE OF PENELOPE THROUGH THE CHRISTMAS LENS:

I woke up so happy as soon as I remembered it was Friday. It’s been another long week. We cherish the Fridays.  Let’s Friday Five it out!!

I.

Our friend Marlene is having hip replacement surgery next week, so Megan, Debby and I went to her house last night to hang out with her. I love Marlene so much. She is in a lot of pain and really anxious to get this surgery done and over with, yet she was still in good spirits and her humor was just as biting and sharp as ever! Marlene is honestly goals.

I even went to TRADER JOE’S the night before to get some snacks to bring but ended up so overwhelmed and angry (I hate grocery stores in general but this one really angers me plus one of the worker girls was in my fucking way every time I turned around and I ranted about it for a solid 10 minutes after we left, culminating in me shouting, “JUST GO IN THE BACK AND STOCK SOMETHING IN THE FUCKING DUMPSTER” which I didn’t think was that funny but Henry did and actually laughed out loud and then that annoyed me too.

Anyway,  I ended up bringing two loaves of the delicious bread that is freshly baked several times a day at JMart down the street from us. We love this bread – I think it might be Uzbek? Those in the know (WE ARE IN THE KNOW, IS WHAT I AM HUMBLY ALLUDING TO HERE) will arrive at JMart around the time the bread is baked because it usually sells out before they even have a chance to put it on the shelves. We just happened to be there once when there WAS a loaf of it out on display, devoured it like barbarians within minutes of bringing it home, and then obsessively tried to buy it again after that. Henry finally asked one time when were there buying walnuts for my squirrels (lol) when the bread would be available again and the owner’s son gave us a hush-hush pro tip. Anway, Henry stopped there yesterday on his way home from work, had to wait in line for 30 minutes, but ultimately procured three loaves – two for me to take to Marlene’s and one for him to eat at his leisure lol – and it ended up being a hit even though Marlene was scared when I started my explanation of the bread with, “OK, just hear me out—”

But yeah, it was such a nice, cozy evening. I always enjoy hearing stories of Marlene’s youth, and Debby was telling us about how she and some others used to watch The Young and the Restless on a tiny B&W TV in the law firm’s breakroom in the 80s (yes, Debby had been working here for that long!).

And we learned that even though Marlene HATES cheese (weirdo!) she does enjoy cheese popcorn.

“Because it’s not real cheese,” she shrugged.

Here’s hoping her surgery goes well and that she’ll be back on her feet in no time!

II.

I snagged two tickets for the Toronto date of the upcoming Stray Kids tour (and a complimentary stress headache from Ticketmaster) and I am so stoked!!

We saw them in 2022 and it was such an amazing show that even Henry, who didn’t know TOO much about them at the time, walked away a Stay. (Well, maybe – I think he will only commit to being a Carat. He doesn’t have the energy to multi-stan.)

III.

I lost my mind this afternoon over Drew and started crying so uncontrollably that I gave myself a grief headache on top of the stress headache from Ticketmaster. I am so depressed. Adding to this depression and free-fall into midlife crisis’ing, I was unable to thread a needle this morning and burst into tears because it was so frustrating and OMG my eyes.

IV.

Did I really frame a Polaroid of me when I was 4, my best year, wearing my favorite dress and looking my best before I mutated in a fat and frumpy doof and my chin finished developing into its final Jay Leno form? Yes I certainly did.

But the other side is my grandparents at least. I love this picture of them because my Pappap is playfully (trust me it’s playful) pretending to slap her and some unknown hand is holding him back. At least – this is what I have always assumed was happening here. And I have always loved this picture so much. I miss my Pappap.

I know Temu is a no-no-mu, but I sure love these acrylic frames they sell.

V.

Can we end with two new songs from G-DRAGON (FEAT. TAEYANG AND DAESUNG) AND WONHO???? Yes, yes, we can. Happy pre-weekending! I’ll be catching up on the MAMA Award performances, my traditional pre-Thanksgiving tradition!

*******

Well, I’d like to note that I might have woken up happy but it’s now 7:24pm and I’m the exact opposite of happy. I’m sick of the way my job makes me feel.

1. The Past Should Stay Dead: An Example

Chiodos is doing a 20-anniversay tour for their album All’s Well That Ends Well and anyone who knew early 2000s Erin knows that this album was SO IMPORTANT to me. I have lyrics from it tattooed on my dumbo arm for Christ’s sake. I really considered getting tickets for the Pgh show in April but you guys, the only OG member left is the singer Craig Owens, who actually had left the band because he is so freaking horrific to work with and the remaining members continued on with a new singer – OK you don’t care, it doesn’t matter, the point is that the band in its original context dissolved and when I heard that they had “reunited,” I was like, “Oh, it’s just Craig now and all new people. No thanks.” Because Chiodos was one of those bands where it wasn’t just the singer that you’d latch on to – all of the members were larger than life, disgustingly talented, personable, etc. So for me, it’s the OG crew or GTFO. That show ended up selling out super fast anyway, but then last night I got an email that a second Pgh show was added so I went to Ticketmaster and really was considering it to the point where I had two tickets in my cart. Then for some stupid reason I couldn’t log into Paypal which is odd because I used Paypal like every day with no issue, so after three tries, I threw my phone down on the couch and said, “You know what? No. I’m not doing this. It’s a sign.” Henry, from his dining room greeting card work station, said, “Well, there’s a 90% chance you would have hated everyone there anyway.” I scoffed. “Yeah – the main person there.” I think this is growth, you guys. I really am almost fully divorced from sad, emo scene kid Erin. Oh and don’t even get me started on the WARPED TOUR reboot cash grab. It feels so disingenuous and phony.

2. Me & My C-List References

Remember last month when I did my volunteering bullshit and I loved the landscaping lady? Well, one of the things I failed to note was that she talked in this particular way that I really love, it’s a certain way she would say her ‘r’s and the whole time I was like, “UGH IT’S THE SAME WAY THAT LADY FROM THAT SHOW DUET TALKS” but I couldn’t think of her name and also whoever references the show Duets?? Why was I watching that show in like, 2nd grade?? Anyway, last night I was sitting here and I kapchugi shouted, “MARY PAGE KELLER!!” and Henry was like, “Ok?” and then I had to explain all of this to him and, just as it was a waste of time to type all of this out, it was also a waste of time explaining it to him out loud because he obviously didn’t care. Why would anyone care. I must have REALLY liked that show as a young Erin though because to this day anytime I meet someone who talks like that, I feel instantly comforted??

LOL what even was this show about??

(Related – I was so stoked at the Zsa Zsa Gabor reference in the Netflix Menendez Bros series, and then the other night I was watching an episode of Only Murders in the Building from season 4 and there was another Zsa Zsa reference! And the reference was literally, “Zsa Zsa Gabor reference” and I was fucking dead. The way I love Zsa Zsa….)

3. We’re living in Weiss Meats’ world now

In my last therapy session, we talked about my abusive time at Weiss Meats, the sexual harassment I endured, the mediation. I was getting so upset that my heart was racing and I had to actually stop at one point, put my hand on my chest and tell her that I couldn’t get my heart to slow down. The re-election of Trump has triggered me in so many ways because it’s just another indication that instead of moving forward, we are being shoved backward. Like, violently. So many of us – women, immigrants, minorities, LGBTQ. How is our country lauded as this great nation when we are so fucking backward and refuse to allow a confident, capable, intelligent woman to become President (80 other countries have elected women to run their joints but ok cook on Dumberica).

(THAT’S WHAT I CALL AMERICA NOW IN CASE YOU WERE CONFUSED.)

Anyway, one of the things that came out of that session, that I had pushed into the dark and bleak recesses of my mind, is that back in 2004 when I first went to a lawyer about the things I had endured at Weiss Meats, and they read over my account, I was referred to a rep from the EEOC who then said, “No, this isn’t sexual harassment. Let’s go with…sex discrimination.”

Yo. I was QUITE LITERALLY GRABBED BY THE PUSSY by my boss’s son. I am not exaggerating. I was at the filing cabinet in my office and he ran over to me, grabbed and squeezed my crotch, and then ran away. I was stunned. I am still stunned every time I think about this and believe me you, I think about it a lot.

But…that’s not sexual harassment. (YOU’RE RIGHT – IT’S FUCKING SEXUAL ASSAULT, BUT I DIDN’T KNOW THAT THEN, I WAS 20 FUCKING YEARS OLD AND WORKING IN MY FIRST OFFICE AND MY MOM WAS TELLING ME SHE HAD THIS HAPPEN TO HER TOO ALL CASUAL-LIKE, LIKE OK  THIS IS A NORMAL DAY FOR A WOMAN IN THE WORKPLACE, GOT IT.)

I had a laundry list of the things that happened to me, and to have to sit in that mediation room, me against all these men, and the only person on my side was….another man? I still cannot believe that this was something I was able to get through. It feels like it must have been a bad dream.

But when Trump’s “grab them by the pussy” bullshit was going on, and it was dismissed as “locker room talk” and I saw other women on Facebook (thank god I left) agreeing that it was “just words” and that anyone crying about it was just a snowflake, it brought all that back. Was I overreacting? Was I not really abused? Was what happened to me normal? It wasn’t rape, so should I have just walked away and not fought back with my former employer?

The #metoo movement was so validating, and for a minute I thought that maybe the country was moving forward, maybe people like me who had gone through varying degrees of assault, harassment, discrimination, maybe this was our time to be recognized and to start really healing. But no, I was wrong, because the re-electing of this piece of shit just reenforced the notion that women don’t matter. This is truly Weiss Meats’ world, you guys. 20 fucking years later and our country is about to be lead – again – by someone who would pat the Weiss Bros on the back for the way they treated women.

Sorry, this is probably a mess of words, but I too am nothing more than a mess right now. Burn it all fucking down.

4. Chooch Can’t Escape Kpop

Got these texts from Chooch the other day LOL.

Also, someone on Chooch’s dorm floor wrote “Stream SVT Love Fame Money” on the RA’s whiteboard and he sent it to me like, “Did you break in here??” LOL. He was disgusted. When I say BTS and their fans ruined Kpop for him…

In other family kpop news, last night I overheard Henry saying “Seventeen right here” and singing Blackpink’s Pink Venom while rummaging through the fridge.

In other family kpop news, part 2: I just made Henry watch the latest NCT Dream music show stage and he said, “It was OK but I’m a Seventeen stan now.” WOW. He’s in deep. There’s no room for multi-stanning with this guy.

5. LET’S END WITH A RAINY-THEMED VIDEO BECAUSE IT’S RAINING TODAY

Hope everyone but Trump, the remaining Weisses, and anyone who condones/excuses/does sexual assault has a great weekend :) Goodbye from Trauma Town.

This week was actually so good, you guys. I can’t remember the last time I was able to say that. I’m still on a really weird emotional high after seeing Seventeen – in a good way, mostly, but I have also been sporadically crying so fat, hot tears because of Drew and it’s OK though. I know that now, that this is part of the process, I’m healing and sometimes scabs are pulled off too early and we have a little set back, right? SHOULD I BE A THERAPIST. SHOULD I WRITE AN ADVICE COLUMN. SHOULD I START NEEDLEPOINTING MY DUMB SAYINGS ON PILLOWS.

Anyway, here are five things that I want to remember from this week / life lately.

1. Henry’s Haunted Basement

When we were just getting into Chicago on Tuesday, we saw a big billboard for a haunted attraction called the Haunted Basement.

“I wonder where that is,” Henry murmured.

“UP YOUR BUTT,” I blurted, the violence of the words shooting out of my mouth somehow not knocking out any teeth.

Henry frowned deeply while I was fisting the air in victory. I love it when my answer-to-everything lands!

I posted this on Instagram AND ***SURPRISINGLY*** NO ONE SIGNED UP FOR MY MASTER CLASS IN COMEBACKS.

2. SEVENTEEN SWAG

I got so much stuff this time because we got there extra early to get in the early mech line (all for naught because everything was sold out before we even got to the front). The weird thing though is that everyone always passes me up and I have to follow them and ask pathetically, “Can I have one too?” IT IS NOT MY AGE OK because trust me – there are tons of broads at these shows that are grandmas. I don’t know what it is about me?? Is my RBF that bad?! Is it because Henry is standing next to me, glowering?!

Anyway, I was happy because I got some Seungkwan stuff :)

Also, I had to swap out my Dreamie pocas for SVT ones beforehand and I put Minghao in the window in honor of Bambi :/

And my SVT credit card was on the other side lol. I’m 16. It was especially peak when I paid for my Bambi SVT tattoo with it lol.

3. My Jerk Son

Just gonna leave this here.

I mean where’s the lie though honestly.

4. Late to the Game, or Early to the New Wave???

My Belgian beer obsession is going strong. Why am I like this? I can’t ever just moderately like things like normal people, I have to be so fanatical and obnoxious. OH WELL THAT’S WHY YOU LOVE ME.

I was lamenting the other night that this one restaurant we used to go to occasionally isn’t around anymore. It was called Sharp Edge and specialized in Belgian beers. There were a few locations but we always went to the CREEK HOUSE (Kristen if you’re reading this, it’s where we went when you and Matt were in town when Chooch was a baby!). I 100% wasn’t drinking beer when we went there, but I went for the ambiance, the vibes, the LAMBIC which I now know actually is beer and I never knew that.

Inspired to find out why they closed all locations, I googled and wound up on a Reddit page about it where 9 out of 10 comments said it was because no one cares about Belgian beer anymore LOLOLOL this is the story of my life! Always late to the game!

THAT’S FINE. Maybe there will be a revival and I can say that it was because of me.

Today at work Megan was telling me about a pumpkin beer she recently had and OK MEGAN BUT I DON’T DRINK PUMPKIN BEER ANYMORE THAT’S FOR BABIES! It’s Belgian or GTFO, OK?! #NOTLIKEOTHERGIRLS

Here is a picture of Baby’s Fourth Delirium! Still #1 in my heart. I like designer beer, don’t forget it. (A hostess gift to consider for future parties I may be hosting.)

We went to a bottle shop tonight and they did not HAVE ANYTHING BELGIAN and I walked out of there like a fucking snob, I’m not even kidding you, and then I shouted in the parking lot, “IT’S NOT MY FAULT THAT I DON’T LIKE ANYTHING AMERICAN THIS COUNTRY IS DUMB!”

Hello, welcome to the Beer Snob Erin era.

(I will tell you that I have also enjoyed every beer of Henry’s that I sipped while in Korea but it is harder to obtain that shit here in Pgh. Don’t worry, we acquired some in Chicago but I’m saving it for Chingumas the Sequel!)

5. Collegiate Chooch Being Involved

Chooch sent me this story from the Drexel Honors College Instagram and said, “YOU’RE WELCOME” because he knew I never would have seen it otherwise.

I just love seeing him thrive and participating in college things! I miss him lots but seeing stuff like this makes it all worth it.

He’s not even going to know who I am when he comes home for Thanksgiving and I’m walking around with a chalice of Trappist beer.

Happy fucking Friday.

Last Sunday, Henry and I went to some theater in Monroeville to see the Seventeen Seoul concert film – it REALLY got me even more stoked for their actual concert in October and also? I was so emotional through the whole thing which was good because now I know I’m not dead inside like I thought I was after seeing ATEEZ. Maybe Henry was right and it’s just that I don’t connect with that group on an emotional level like I do with some of the others.

But yeah, SVT had me feeling all of the feels 100%. Of course, it had the OPEN WOUND element to it too because of Drew, but it was good to have some of the old Kpop emotions back. I lost it when Seungkwan was saying that he was so sad to have missed the last concert in Seoul, because it was when he was resting after Moonbin’s death. UGH. That was so painful to see him cry, and as someone who recently lost their best friend as well, it stung extra hard.

Also, I have been so estranged from everyone/everything these last few mths that it is nice to have that comfort back of watching kpop content with Henry, who truly likes Seventeen – so don’t even. It’s like, a tiny slice of normalcy back into my life. (As I sit here spontaneously weeping re: Drew, and also I would like to thank my phone for putting together a “recommended slideshow” for me today of picture of me and Drew and titling it “Best Friends.” I mean, of course I watched the whole thing and it was precious but also OUCH MY FUCKING STUPID PIECE OF SHIT HEART. I don’t want to feel like this anymore.)

Anyway, in true Friday Five fashion, here are 5 of my fave SVT songs that I hope they’ll perform in October! You should watch every single one of these and then COMMENT BELOW which one you liked, and if you didn’t like any of them, just pretend because I can’t handle it right now lol.

1. ANYONE

2. DARL+ING

3. READY TO LOVE (I have shared so many versions of this song over the years and I do not care, it is just that good. I could listen to this song on repeat all day long.)

4. GOD OF MUSIC (This is just so joyful.)

5. LALALI!!!!!! (Hiphop team)

Well, that’s all I have for today. This heatwave and the daily cries have me zapped of all energy.

Hi real quick here are five of my favorite things that have happened so far in May that I would like to not forget.

1. I GOT A TICKET TO SEE NCT DREAM IN SEPTEMBER!!

This happened today. I tried to stay calm during the ticket-procuring process because I can’t handle much more stress currently – I know my threshold, and I kept saying, “You know, I saw them last year and I had a good seat so it doesn’t matter this time – just as long as I’m there.” And then it was “my turn” (fuck you, TicketMaster) to look for a ticket and I grabbed the first one that was not on the floor but decent and then that was it. No screaming in anger, no panicking. Just quietly added to the cart and purchased while Henry stood behind me and chanting, “Calm down, calm down” which – OK? I am? YOU CALM DOWN?

And then I started crying about 30 minutes later, a delayed reaction, and woke Henry up from his nap, wailing, “I’M JUST SO HAPPY THAT I GET TO SEE THEM AGAIN!” He looked alarmed, but it’s fine. I’m fine.

2. A $5 Brulee’d Ruby Red

Um, this was not worth it, but the rest of the brunch at 40North with my pals Megan, Debby, and Mar made up for it! (Don’t worry, that’s not all I got – I actually got one of the best omelets I’ve ever had, and now I know that next time I should forgo the “healthy” option and just get the smashed potatoes*.)

*(Which btw come with chimichurri which is how Marlene came to find out exactly what chimichurri is and while Debby was explaining it to her, Marlene interrupted to say, “Ok tell them I don’t need any of that.”)

We had the same server that Lindsey and I had when we met here last year who was, from what I remember, a chronic whisperer but I’m happy to report that he spoke much louder this time, upped the volume. Actually, all of the staff there was pretty freaking great and memorable even though we completely overstayed our welcome – we got nary a side-eye.

Anyway, that was last Saturday, and then the Sunday before that….

3. I Had Beers with My Sister!

I know it seems like I’m not doing anything but curling up in the fetal position in a dark corner, crying about Korea, and OK that is largely my life now. I admit it. But I have been getting out and socializing here and there too, lol.

Amy wanted to try Strange Roots in Millvale and I who knows nothing about breweries said YES LET’S DO THAT. I think it’s safe to say that I am still mid-at-best when it comes to liking beer, but it was still an excellent afternoon with Amy and Dick and fine, even Henry. We always have the best convo with Amy and Dick when we get together and I always leave there saying, “We need to do this more than just once or twice a year.” I mean, we do live a little over an hour away from each other but that’s no excuse. I grew up with such a small family and the fact that I was given the chance to have a relationship with a sister that I didn’t meet until I was an adult is actually a pretty big deal. (Especially since we like each other, even!)

I had a wheat beer which was ok, and then I got a “slamgria” which was 100% MY STYLE. I guess because, you know, it wasn’t beer. But shit, I could have sat around all afternoon slamming these OMG IS THAT WHY THEY’RE CALLED SLAMGRIAS??

I sat here for a solid three minutes wondering to myself what the fuck that Teletubby-shaped thing is at the bottom of this picture and then I realized it was the hand sanitizer that I had with me that day – the kind that is encased in the rubber carrier thing, lol.

Oh! I also want to give a shoutout to whoever at Strange Roots played an entire Neutral Milk Hotel album while we there, transporting me back to high school so fast I almost got whiplash. <3

4. This Stray Kids Song That I Want to Curl Up Inside and Live In Forever

First of all, I truly love Charlie Puth’s music don’t @ me, and second of all I IMPRINTED ON HAN JISUNG ALL OVER AGAIN WITH THIS ONE. SKZ just announced a world tour too, dates TBA, so I am going to be in Kpop debt this year. (Because Seventeen too I think!?!?) I think if I ever don’t get completely consumed by music, that’s when you know that I’m officially dead inside because I’m almost 45 and music is still the one thing that never fails to make me feel like my full, complete self. Kpop especially really changed my life for the better though. <3

5. HNC Has a Friend!

The other day I was dying because HNC had a friend over and I was crawling on the floor, trying to get a covert picture through the dining room window without being seen. I’m not posting it here because I’m wildly paranoid about everything these days, but this guy had some type of modified ginger mullet – it was straight and flowed like a river of Schlitz to his shoulders. He was wearing bitchin’ Lennon shades and a fitted t-shirt and jeans, looking like he could be in Bread or Ambrosia or some other food-named 70s band.

I woke Henry up from his nap, totally giddy, and asked him if he was jealous. He said NO and I said, “Wow, not even that HNC invited him to his CAMP??”

Henry just frowned, which means I was right – he’s jel.

OK, I’m going now.

This week was wack so here are five positive things because maybe going thru the motions of typing it out might train my brain yanno?!

1. Had dinner with my Coaster Crew BFF Pam and her friend Greg tonight at Industry Public House and it was soooo fun! Pam also met my brother Corey earlier today because he’s going to be her realtor since she has decided to move here from Philly, which I already mentioned but it’s worth mentioning again! Anyway, she was saying that even thought Corey and I don’t look like she could totally tell we’re brother and sister because of our personalities & mannerisms, and Henry muttered, “Try being around both of them at once.” LOLOL. I was also glad to meet Greg – totally chill and easy to talk to so I’m looking forward to finally having people to go to Kennywood with!

2. Speaking of Pam, I was telling Group Chat that she’s moving here from Philly and Wendi, who lives Philly sports, said “Go Birds” and Amber said she name her baby-to-be (is that the right term??) Phillie so I was like “and she could have an orange nursery!”

“Orange fur wall with googly eyes,” Wendi said and I was like I HAVE A FUR WALL WITH GOOGLY EYES IN MY HOUSE I CAN HELP!

I dunno it made me laugh and I need that so.

3. Speaking of Pam part 2, Corey said that during their meeting today she had mentioned being from New Orleans and that I’m one of kind and “belong in New Orleans” whatever that means?? I have never been there so I wouldn’t know. Henry went there ON HIS HONEYMOON with first wife, so.

4. Speaking of first wife, I found the perfect shoes to wear with the outfit I picked out for when/if I become Henry’s NEXT WIFE. “Aren’t those kids shoes?” Henry asked when we were at Target tonight. “Yes, and? They fit me so I’m getting them?” God. Step off. So catch me wearing my new Cat & Jack metallic purple boots at some point I guess.

5. Speaking of getting married, we finally snagged our appointments at the US Embassy in Seoul for the date we needed. I’m still not solidly convinced that this will happen but of all else fails, Wildwood here we come.

Ok that’s all for now. I broke my fast to eat a veggie burger at dinner tonight and my stomach is like “remember when you were pregnant? Here let me remind you” *expands greatly*

Another boring-ass week of February. Let’s see if I can scrounge up five things from my extremely uneventful life.

1. RetroWaving from Pgh

“Hey Erin, what are you listening to when you’re not kpopping?” asks no one.

Well, No One! I’m so glad you asked because for the last year or two, my runner-up has been retrowave. It’s better than the next best thing to 80s synth because it sounds like it *is* 80s synth, but it fell through the cracks. It is reminiscent of the music that would pad the soundtracks of 80s movies like Better Off Dead, etc. – it sounds like it COULD have been played on the radio yet it never was and you never heard of it ever again.

That’s retrowave. It triggers memories of summer pool parties and seeing your crush at the roller rink on a Friday night, yet these songs didn’t exist back then. And this is my current favorite one, which has made me spontaneously cry on numerous occasions.

2. Baby Carat’s First SVT Album

Henry came home from work in Valentine’s Day with a hot pink gift bag full of Kpop! My cat Drew and I have recently become huge Carats after years of just liking them on the fringe and Henry is along for the ride. I didn’t even ask for this, or the NCT127 winter single! #blessed

I pulled my bias Jaehyun from the NCT album (on his birthday, no less!) and I got S.Coups, Jun, and DK in the Seventeen unboxing. I have joint SVT biases right now – Seungkwan and Jeonghan (remember this, Janna!!) – but there is so much to love about all of the 13 members so a Carat really can’t be disappointed. (As Drew paws away a tear triggered not pulling her bias The8, lol.)

Anyway, this song can be my reciprocal Valentine gift to Henry, I guess.

3. PITTSBURGH PAM?

YOU GUYS OMG. Pam from our Coaster Crew trip called me yesterday after work and said that she is thinking of moving to Pittsburgh and asked if I know any realtors!! OH BOY, DO I! I happily gave her my brother’s contact info and he is so hyped to help her look for a house here! I’m also very smug about this because after the Coaster Crew portion of our vacation ended in August and I was in my “I MISS PAM” feels, Chooch sniped, “You know she’s never think about you again, right?”

In your FACE, Chooch.

4. Henry Being Annoying

 He’s been on a kick using these dumb emoji things and Chooch and I hate it. Tell him to stop.

5. It’s paczki time in Brookline

Yo I took this picture at one of the bakeries in Brookline Blvd back when I was into using toy cameras in 2008, wow I was so cool, what a hipster photog.

Anyway, it’s paczki season, bigly. Every five years or so I get the urge (I hate the word hankering btw) to have one but I’m always so underwhelmed. Like, it just tastes like a jelly donut to me? I saw a reddit subthread recently where the overwhelming majority said that Party Cake was the reigning champs of paczki. Well guys if that is the case, then maybe I’m just not the targeted audience for paczki because that is where I have gotten all my past paczki.

Thoughts? If you are local to Pittsburgh, do you like paczki and where do you get it?

If you are not local, is this a thing where you live too?

Could I Google “paczki regions”? Sure probably. But am I trying to bait people to comment? Absolutely.

*****

Well, that’s all I got. I’m so bored!! It’s snowing, I’m doing an intermittent fast so I can’t distract myself with snacks, and I’m mindlessly watching travel vlogs on YouTube. What a Friday.

Another month-long work week has come to an end! For this installment of Friday Five, let’s give our eyebulps (that’s how my cats say it) a rest, put a moratorium on the excessive words, and just look at five pictures from my phone with brief captions I guess.

See Chooch, on the phone with the bank after having to cancel his debit card for the third time since December. It was very entertaining for me because I have decided that I just don’t care.

Henry made “salmon” from tofu and it was delectable!

Cats suddenly realizing that they can burrow under the blanket on the church pew and acting super weird about it afterward.

The unseasonably balmy weather has allowed the cats to hang out in their favorite room of the house – the back porch!

Trudy being a saucy dish.

***

That’s all for me. Back to watching travel vlogs on YouTube because I have no attention span for anything more in depth.

In my NOSTLAGIA BOX rummaging (I used RIFLING in my last post, so gotta mix it up because once upon a time I was a kinda-writer, remember), I unearthed this old picture of me from 1986 (love that my mom had a camera that lasered the dates on the photos – I bet that was super high-tech back then) doing my favorite thing ever: reading a book. This was taken when we lived in our old house on Sylvania Drive in South Park, and here are some facts about that house:

• This is the house my mom was living in with my birth dad back when I was born. Then my dad died, my mom started dating who I consider my actual dad, things got serious so we moved into his house in Castle Shannon. I actually hated that time in my life, every memory is bad (it’s where the neighbor kids abandoned me in their tree house and I was too scared to come down on my own and I just sat up there and cried until my mom realized I was missing, to name ONE of the bad memories). Anyway, after those two married, we moved back to the house on Sylvania Drive! I should probably ask my mom about this because I have no idea if she put the house up for sale originally and no one bought it so we moved back? Or if we moved out with the intention of eventually moving back? Was anyone living there while we were gone!? I feel like we were gone for at least a year.
• I met my childhood BFF Christy on this street – she and her family on the cul-de-sac. We were BFFs up until the end of high school when I became a huge disappointment by dropping out of school and not going to college, opting to slum it with Psycho Mike instead. Christy was probably the only one who cared enough about me to actually try to stop this and get really fucking pissed and then we eventually grew apart. I was salty about it for years but being so far removed from that and actually in a good place in my life now, I can’t blame her one bit. I was so stupid. Everything happens for a reason, etc, but I can’t help but wonder if I still would have eventually ended up with Henry even if I had opted to NOT throw away those formative years of my life. For years I said I didn’t regret those idiotic decisions, but hoo boy, ask me again now. Anyway, Christy and I are still friends and she’s also Chooch’s godmother. We just don’t really hang out that much which is sad.
• Little did I know then that a girl I would meet almost – omg this kills me – forty years later was probably not yet born BUT her family was also living on this same street!
• After my brother Ryan was born, my parents started building a house on a plot of land on the street my Pappap lived on – it was actually my Pappap’s plot of land and I was so fucking sad to leave Sylvania Drive when I was in 2nd grade, but the house that was being built on Gillcrest is still to this day the house that I consider my childhood home. My mom still lives there but I honestly can’t remember the last time I was inside it. Probably not since Chooch was like, in preschool??
• There was a huge ass maple tree in the front yard and I have no idea the origin of this game, but Christy and me, and sometimes this other girl Michelle who was kind of an auxiliary member of our friend group would sit in my yard and wait for cars to drive past. Then we would glare at them and point the leaves at them, funneling all of our wicked petulance through the stems and then – what? – killing them? I can’t remember what we thought the outcome would be but I will say that I drove past this house not too long ago with Chooch and the tree was still  there! I told him the story and he was like, “That’s a stupid game.” WELL, WE HAD TO USE OUR IMAGINATIONS BACK IN THE 80s OK!?

Oh well, I was also going to drop the names of 5 books I loved as a kid but then I got sidetracked and now I’m bored with that idea and also today was terrible. Bye.

Every so often, I remember that I like the Kpop group Seventeen (I always associate them with the Kpop aerobics I did back when I was like “I don’t know what these songs are but they’re fun”) and then I fall down the rabbit hole, watching live stages etc., and saying, “I gotta spend some time learning about the members.” Over the years, there are only really 3 or 4 (out of 13!) that I have become familiar with, but then one of the sub-units did an amazing performance of one of my current fave cardio dance routine songs on one of the award shows, and I remembered that at one point, I had chosen one of those guys as a bias, so then I started re-crushing on him and next thing I knew, my YouTube feed is all Seventeen and I know ALMOST all of them now, after 4 days of studying.

I’m getting there.

Anyway, today for Friday Five I will share five of my faves. They debuted in 2015 so there is quite a lot to choose from!

(My bias is Seungkwan, btw, and my cat Drew’s is The8.)

1. Ready to Love

You guys,  this is my top #1 SVT song and the one that pulls me back in every time I hear it. It’s perfection.

2. Don’t Wanna Cry

The first Seventeen MV that REALLY caught my attention back in the day. That choreo!!

3. FIGHTING

This song from Seventeen’s subunit BSS (BooSeukSoon) is the anthem we all need to get through another work day. (Fun fact from your friendly Korea liaison: “fighting” is a way to say “you got this!” or “you can do it!” in Korea, it doesn’t literally mean anything aggressive!)

4. _WORLD

Just a total feel-good jam, Bruno Mars-vibes, lil bit.

5. ROCK WITH YOU

Every time I hear this, I want to get up and start doing the Give Me Five Thailand dance workout for it. I kicked the coffee table really hard one time doing it though, I just got too stoked!

***

OK, it’s been a weird week of snow days and Chooch maybe having a girlfriend and starting a countdown and uncomfortable TV shows (American Nightmare was so frustrating and upsetting!!!). I’m freaking tired, man. But I can’t go to bed until Henry chooses a Seventeen bias lol. (“I don’t know any of them!” he cried. Yeah, he said that once upon a time about NCT too and now look at him, Father NCTzen over here.)

Lessgitit.

1. Ladies Christmas Dinner

I had a nice little Christmas dinner with Megan, Marlene, and Debby earlier in the month at Alta Via in Market Square. It definitely lacked the quirkiness, charm, and Kermit of last year’s dinner spot, Zarra:

but our server also didn’t have to “run out to get tomatoes” for our salads, so at least our food came more expediently. I had a delightful beet salad and the pumpkin ravioli. Both were nice but the bread stole the show for me: homemade, warm salty rosemary focaccia? Yeah boy.

I sometimes have a really hard time being around people when it comes to conversation participation. For instance, I really like dining with this group but more often than not, I feel like I cannot hang verbally, like I am so socially stunted. At one point during dinner, the conversation took a hard left into health insurance talk and do I seem like someone who has ANYTHING to contribute to that topic swerve? The worst part was that this whole time, Ozark Mountain Daredevil’s Jackie Blue was gently wafting from the speakers like aural angel dust and I was DYING for a lull in the Medicare discourse to tell them my Barb Riley / Roller Skating Birthday Party / Jackie Blue story, like actually sitting on my hands and internally squealing. But they were still talking about benefits and Cobra well after the song ended while I helped myself to another piece of really delicious focaccia just to give my mouth something to do. I am subsisting alone in some weird adult limbo where I can only half-relate to most other adults but I mostly have nothing to contribute to the conversation.

I guess this is just who I am though and I need to accept that! Also, what a horrible but at least the waiter got the Christmas tree in the background?

2. Of 90s R&B Heart Throbs

1. 1. This is a two-fer!! Last night, my friend Veronica DMd me and was like, paraphrasing here, “Do you remember the group Debarge?” and then proceeded to reference EL DEBARGE SPECIFICALLY at which point I was like, “Imma just stop you right here, Veronica, because I was EL DEBARGE’S BIGGEST MOTHERFUCKIN’ FAN IN 1994!” And then it got even more exciting because she wasn’t aware of the specific El album that I was obsessed with (HEART MIND AND SOUL) so then I got to share my fave tracks with her and she told me that she saw Debarge when she was 7 and that they serenaded her aunt!!! Honestly though, the only bad thing about this album is that it makes me remember how fucking psycho I was over  A DUMB BOY and how I listened to this CD so much that I wore out TWO COPIES OF IT and the copy I currently own is #3.
   2. Today in Group Chat (I love that it sounds like it’s my weekly group therapy session and honestly, it actually kind of is) we were talking about 90s jams and then this happened:

And then I got to tell them MY PSYCHOTIC OBSESSION STORY and they were like, “Aw.” It felt good to tell them about “Susie from Clairton” though.

I wonder how many people from my life back then would be totally fucking triggered if they heard this song right now. I was a complete fool over this and probably Janna is the only one who supported it lol. I definitely have a home video of Evan scoffing HARD when I was like, “BUT FIRST!” and then pushing play on the cassette that I had slid into the tape deck in Lisa’s Jeep, queueing up my comfort jam. I terrorized a lot of people with this song. A LOT OF PEOPLE. Don’t worry, I totally don’t do that anymore. (Side note: for years, I could only find some alternate version of this on YouTube and Spotify, but this one is the real one!!!!) Enjoy!

3. HAECHAN CANDLE

I got a Haechan candle for Christmas from Megan! That’s all, I just wanted to share it:

4. Missing the Office

I know I have cried about this a zillion times in here since 2020, but man I really do miss seeing my work friends every day. I don’t miss the commute or getting ready, but I miss the crazy antics and shenanigans we’d have back in the day. It’s fun in group chat to recount these memories and make new virtual ones (like today when Nate reminded us that it’s the One Year Anniversary of Doug), but it’s not the same! Today, I was looking for something in my blog and came across this old post from 2018 that was all work-related and it made me laugh but then I was just kind of deflated, realizing that these days are definitely in the past, man.

And then it was a big love fest as we all wished each other a happy new year and said we appreciated each other before logging off. I dunno, it’s got me all maudlin, man.

(DREW, DON’T WORRY, YOU ARE STILL MY #1 CO-WORKER!!)

5. FREE WEEKENDS

Now that Henry finally finished the Seoul subway sign, we can start actually hanging out on weekends again! It’s going to be cold tomorrow, but I had a brunch that was cancelled so my day is wide open, and I want to go for a cemetery walk like we used to do before he became overwhelmed with chores. (Don’t get it twisted, he still has chores, just not super intense and intricate ones that require tons of labor like that sign did.)

I was sick almost all week and was watching travel vlogs from Lancaster, PA to comfort me (some people like hot tea, naps, and hot baths but I take solace in making fun of random travel vloggers on YouTubers and as luck would have it, A LOT of them choose Lancaster as a content destination) so now I want to do a day trip soft pretzel tour of Lancaster because that was one of the only foods I could think about and eat this week while sick. So maybe that will happen sometime in early 2024 and Chooch will likely POLITELY DECLINE the invite.

I ALSO WANT TO DO A DAY TRIP TO COLUMBUS TO EAT AT SEITAN’S REALM AGAIN.

***

Well, that’s all I have. Drink your water.

Love,

Susie from Clairton.