1. Accidentally Emo Again

OK guys I mentioned the other day that I fell down the rabbit hole thanks to WE WENT TO COACHELLA videos brainwashing me into subbing to Jake Webber. And I mentioned that I was also like Wait hold the phone is his friend Johnnie Guilbert from the Warped Tour / Bryan Stars YouTube days? Confirmed. So then I started watching videos from Johnnie’s channel too because he’s funny to me OK I have immature emo boy humor. I’ve seen his gf in some of the videos and one time he was wearing a CHRISSY from Stranger Things shirt and said, “I’m wearing my girlfriend.” I thought, “Yeah, she does look like Chrissy from Stranger Things.” Days went by and then I stumbled across her Instagram and said to Henry, “Oh his gf has a lot of followers too. She looks like she’s a model, I guess?” Then a few minutes later, “Oh, she’s an actor too.” Then another minute later, “OMG HIS GF LITERALLY IS CHRISSY FROM STRANGER THINGS.”

Anyway, I bit the bullet and listened to some of Johnnie’s songs on Spotify today and almost immediately sighed and said out loud, “Great. I’m a fan.”

I would have flipped out over this in like 2010 but it scratches that latent emo itch, I swear to god, I feel like I’m waiting in line to get into Warped Tour right now. No, it gives me that same giddy feeling from like, 2004 when Christina and I discovered From First To Last.

2. New Furniture to “ruin” or “beautify” depending on what camp you’re in

We bit the bullet and finallllllly bought a new dresser from Ikea (I don’t know why we keep buying shit there) and a wardrobe. There is a big reason why there are barely any pictures of our bedroom and it’s because there are clothes everywhere. I am a fucking clotheshorse, I can’t be stopped. But Henry and I both have our own broken dressers and they don’t match and are ugly (see also: they’re just wood, oh no). Anyway, Henry brought the new dresser/wardrobe combo home today and I’m giddily thinking up refurb ideas for it. I definitely want it painted a light pink to match the pink accent wall of our bedroom (the rest of the walls are hunter green) but I’m deciding on if I want to use wallpaper on the drawers or whatever. Need embellishment inspo.

Meanwhile, Henry is like, “Why can’t we leave it as-is?” I mean, that’s probably what he’s writing in his diary or the Mother’s Day Card he’s giving to his mom. “SOS mom, she’s making me inhale paint fumes again.” He doesn’t dare say this to my face.

I also have a plan for our OG beverage buffet which presently lives in the attic lounge. I think having projects will help me.

3. Pope Shit

In group chat yesterday, everyone was going on and on about the pope shit like this whole rigmarole was news to them? Like it hasn’t happened two other times in our lifetime?? I stayed quiet on the subject because I was about to drag out my cross and get super righteous up in Teams, so I instead turned my frustration on Henry.

“DON’T YOU REMEMBER ME FORCING CHRISTINA* TO WATCH THE WHOLE POPE BENEDICT DECISION WHEN THEY WERE VISITING SPRING OF 2005 AND I WAS OBSESSED WITH EWTN???” (That’s the ETERNAL WORD TELEVISION NETWORK, FOR YOU HEATHENS.)

“Yes,” Henry sighed. “How could I forget.

Oh, I just went poking around in LiveJournal to see if I actually wrote about that part of their visit and that was a time travel I didn’t need.

I do want to add that I was very concerned to learn that the new Pope is AMERICAN and started panicking that Trump pulled some strings, but now I’m ok after doing some non-fake news’ing and learning that the Pope is actually against everything Trump and Vance the Pope Killer stand for, so fingers crossed that it stays this way and that he does good things.

*(Two C-word mentions in one post; one more and they might pop out of a Mexican jumping bean.)

4. Catching Co-Workers in My Emo Web

I was telling Nate about #1 of this Friday Five (hopefully your memory isn’t so jacked that you don’t have to SCROLL UP for a refresher, but if so, now is the time to do that). I told him I need a YouTube detox and then went to lunch. In that period of time, Nate had done his own Johnnie Guilbert research so I came back to a Teams message from him alerting me to the fact that Johnnie’s girlfriend is not only Chrissy from Stranger Things, but the daughter of Casper van Dien. What a wild ride that was. Hope you were wearing your seatbelt for that.

5. Excuse me, but did you mean Dazee?

I have been pretty bitter in general lately about family stuff (OK that’s always) but my brother texted me and mentioned our old dog Dazee but called her Daisy because ofc he did. This seriously gets under my skin so much because Dazee was my dog. I was the one who went with our mom to pick her up and no one else knew about her yet. I named her Dazee. But he consistently refers to her as Daisy to this day and makes me feel so disrespected, like I was completely written out of family history after I moved out. I even corrected him by replying with “*Dazee” and he said “lol.”

She was my fucking dog.

I have so much anger in general haha. Ha.

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Let’s end this with some CHRISSY, WAKE UP:

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