1. Dead First by Johnny Compton

I legitimately:

1. was not scared even a little
2. had no idea what was going on

2. This Is Not About Us by Allegra Goodman

I dunno, a “family drama,” I guess, but the drama was lame AF. Literally two sisters stop talking because one sister bakes a cake using the other sister’s recipe as the third sister is dying and everyone likes that cake better than when the sister whose recipe it is bakes it. Then we have to suffer through myriad chapters of extended family and they were all just very boring, unlikeable people. There was no point to this.

BUT DAMN THAT CAKE DOES LOOK GOOD.

3. All the Things They Said We Couldn’t Have: Stories of Trans Joy by T. C. Oakes-Monger

Beautiful. Powerful. I cried a lot. NORMALIZE TRANS JOY!!!

4. Molka by Monika Kim

As a self-proclaimed expert of Korean goings-on, I was already familiar with the insidiousness and very true reality of molka, which is the act of hiding cameras (most commonly in public restrooms) to film women. It’s a very real thing that happens in Korea. I loved the previous Monika Kim book I read and had high hopes for this one, but it kind of fell flat for me. I felt like this was time that could have been better spent watching a K-Drama about the same topic.

5. The Impossible Fortress by Jason Rekulak

I LIKED THIS ONE. First of all, it’s a coming-of-age story set in the 80s. Yes. This will always be for me, no matter how old I am, lol.

Second of all, written by Jason Rekulak. DOUBLE YES. I love this guy’s books. This is an older one of his (2017) so it was definitely interesting to see how far he’s come as a writer. It’s written from the perspective of a 14-year-old boy, before political correctness, so there are definitely some parts that are cringey (like the terrible way they describe one of the girls in the book). But if you can look past that, it’s just a really fun read with Phil Collins references, video games, a ton of Vanna White references (the whole plot revolves around the boys’ desperation to get their hands on the Vanna White Playboy which I never knew was a thing but then again, why would I? I was in elementary school in the 80s, playing with Sweet Secrets and My Little Pony).

6. Open Wide by Jessica Gross

I hated this so much. The audiobook definitely made it worse because the narrator’s baby voice / lilt was insufferable. I always disliked Erin from The Office (oh well, hate me) and that is exactly who I was picturing through this entire book. The text messages between her and her new BF were SO GAG-WORTHY.

The whole book was SO GAG-WORTHY.

And there are some seriously hideous parts with her dog that left me absolutely disgusted. Literally cannot stress enough how much I hated this fucking book.

7. Boring Asian Female by Canwen Xu

Well, they got the “boring” part right.

8. Your Favorite Scary Movie: How the Scream Films Rewrote the Rules of Horror by Ashley Cullins

A really fun and interesting behind the scenes look into the Scream franchise that left me saying, “Hey, did you know—-” multiple times to Henry and Chooch while reading it (Chooch had the pleasure of being home for this). It inspired to watch the whole franchise starting at the first one and you know my attention span – I was all gung-ho through the first one and then never went back for more LOL.

But fun fact—when Scream came out, I was in high school and went to see it at the Denis—probs with Keri—and it was the first time I was ever CARDED AT THE MOVIES!! I didn’t have my license then so I don’t how I got in, I guess I just pouted and schmoozed. I was so good at that back then.

(Henry reading this like, “‘back then’????”).

9. Dearest by Jacquie Walters

I appreciate the 1970s aesthetic of the book cover but this was actually a let-down. I think I should know by now that I am not interested in horror involving new moms.

10. Brawler by Lauren Groff

Never mind the fact that the title of the book literally has “Stories” beneath it, I didn’t realize this was a short collection when I borrowed it from the library. Usually, I don’t like short stories but this collection was REALLY GOOD. There really wasn’t any weak links in this one. Lauren Groff knows how to do it.

11. Unprotected: A Memoir by Billy Porter

Not only is this man a national treasure, but he’s also A LOCAL treasure. I loved reading about his time coming up (and out) in the local Pittsburgh theater scene. Billy Porter is a true talent. Bonus: the audiobook is narrated by Billy so it’s packed with flavor AND includes one of his original songs at the end. Amazing.

12. Strangers Behind Closed Doors by Catherine Adel West

I wanted to like this but it was kind of a snooze. :(

13. Afternoon Hours of a Hermit by Patrick Cottrell

Anticlimactic.

14. Break Room by Miye Lee

UGH this brought back memories of office life, from passive aggressive nasty grams being sent out when someone’s Mountain Dew gets stolen (“TO WHOMEVER TOOK MY MOUNTAIN DEW I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT”) to printed signs taped above the sink yelling about how I’M NOT YOUR MOTHER, WASH YOUR OWN DISHES.

Memories.

15. The Bodyguard by Katherine Center

OK every once in a while I need a rom-com palate cleanser but I always go into it expecting to hate it. This one was SO GOOD AND CUTE without being gross. I loved the characters so much. I have another Katherine Center book on my TBR so fingers crossed this wasn’t a fluke!

That’s all. Bye.

1. First-Time Caller (Heartstrings, #1) by B.K. Borison

3.5 This was cute but does it really need to be a series? The main characters weren’t that compelling. I was into it for the first half and then was kind of like, “OK, get together or don’t get together, this is ridiculous now.” Could have been shorter.  I’d like a spin-off of the dads though. (Female lead is a single mom co-raising her daughter with the dad and his husband. I LOVED when they made appearances!)

2. The Storm by Rachel Hawkins

Rachel Hawkins either really does it for me or she doesn’t and this one goes in the “doesn’t” category. 2 stars. Underwhelming and kind of dumb, actually.

3. Holy Boy by Lee Heejoo

2.5. Not sure if this was a translation issue but I was so lost. Jarring time jumps, introducing new characters with drawn out back stories out of nowhere really took me out of the story. The synopsis made it sound like it would be 100% in my wheelhouse.

4. You Weren’t Meant to Be Human by Andrew Joseph White

3 stars, did not get the “Aliens meets Midsommar” vibes that I was promised. Some pretty graphic body horror in this which was fine, but it just overall made me feel gross. I listened to it on audio and just an FYI for anyone reading this who is considering the audio—the “voice” that’s used for the hive is fucking terrifying and literally made me jump and pearl-clutch in broad fucking daylight on my walks, but then it does kind of get old and annoying after a while, not to mention hard to understand.

Pretty sick book, tons of trigger warnings, great queer representation. While I didn’t “love” this book, it’s definitely one I will never forget so AJW got the job done!

5. I Will Kill Your Imaginary Friend for $200 by Robert Brockway

This was actually pretty funny and I could envision it as a movie the whole time I was reading it. The only parts I didn’t like were the kid-POV chapters. I hate reading from a child’s POV so much. If you were like me and loved Drop Dead Fred as a kid (until your younger brother played it out), then this book will probably be your jam. I LOVED the main guy, Ivan. I HATED the main kid, Kay.

6. The Sentence by Louise Erdrich

I enjoyed this but don’t go into this thinking it’s a true ghost story as the synopsis suggests (ghost of a woman haunting a book store). It’s about so much more than that and heavily focuses on Indigenous identity. This is set primarily in 2020, during the scariest parts of the pandemic, George Floyd’s murder and ensuing riots and protests and BLM, and it brought forth in me that same rage I felt during that time. I found myself crying out of angry many times while reading this, but also laughing at times too. I think what I loved the most about this, though, was Tookie’s beautiful relationship with her husband.

Just…don’t go into this thinking you’re getting a traditional ghost story.

7. Love Buzz by Neely Tubati Alexander

A pretty cute rom-com. No notes.

8. Cleaner by Jess Shannon

For being obsessed with cleaning, this broad is a fucking MESS. And I loved it. Absurd and funny.

9. Just Friends by Haley Pham

OK, Chooch had been hounding me to read this because he follows Haley and her husband on Insta and used to (or still does) watch the husband’s videos on YouTube.  I have to say right off the bat that Haley Pham has been getting DRAGGED in reviews for her debut novel and I needed to see if it was warranted. Bro, I have read some terrible books and this is not one of them. It was fine! For a debut novel, there wasn’t anything too glaring that jumped out at me. Was it memorable? Nope. But it didn’t suck.

(I think the general consensus is that people are crying “social media nepotism,” saying that she had an unfair advantage of getting published because she’s a known name as a book vlogger, plus her husband has a ton of followers and clout. I don’t know, the girl wanted to write a book and she did it. Just the mere IDEA of writing a book sounds very exhausting to me so I give her props for going for it. Let the girl breathe.)

10. Sky Daddy by Kate Folk

LOL OMG JFC. This bitch wants to marry a plane and in her mind, consummating that means being in a plane crash. So maybe DON’T READ THIS while on a plane, while preparing for a vacation, etc. There was one line that fucking SENT me, paraphrasing it here but she basically decides to settle on a pilot and likens him to a pilot-shaped dildo that she and the plane can use together so it won’t be “cheating.”

3.5 – This was my kind of book: quirky and strange just how I like but it started to get a bit old after a while. Still a fun time though!

11. The First Time I Saw Him (Hannah Hall, #2) by Laura Dave

No, but seriously I loved the first book, “The Last Thing He Told Me.” I don’t feel like we needed a sequel to that. I found myself not giving a shit about any of the people in this book anymore, who cares.

The backstory chapters were boring AF. And perhaps I didn’t notice bad writing in the first book because the story itself was hooking me, but it is very glaring in this book. I was basically rage-reading the last few chapters. They all could have died. Who cares. Not me.

12. One Day, Everyone Will Have Always Been Against This by Omar El Akkad

In all honesty, this should be required reading. It was hard to get through at times and that’s the point. We live in such a broken world, and the glue feels like IT IS RIGHT THERE, but a bunch of fucking psycho regimes keep kicking it out of reach.

13. Half His Age by Jennette McCurdy

The adults in this book are trash. I love Jennette McCurdy’s writing.

Not the greatest reading month, but I think I am getting harder and harder to please.

1. The Sun Is Also a Star by Nicola Yoon

4 stars. I appreciate a realistic ending over a happy ending here and there. Learned an interesting fact about why so many Black hair stores in the US and Canada are owned by Koreans.  I didn’t know this was a movie and now I need to watch it!

2. This Story Might Save Your Life by Tiffany Crum

3.5. I like listening to the audiobook version when a book is podcast-related and this one was recorded beautifully but it kind of fell apart for me in the second half. I think the book cover is lovely but I have no idea what it has to do with the book itself.

3. All the Little Houses by May Cobb

LOL was this a joke? Zero stars. So terrible and stupid AND LONG. I didn’t read The Hunting Wives but I watched the series and enjoyed it enough to decide to read this one. It just makes me wonder HOW DID THIS BROAD GET ANYTHING ADAPTED TO TV?! Her writing is atrocious and her characters ARE ALL THE SAME. Just trash and not even the kind that’s fun to read despite of its garbage qualities.

4. The Villain Edit by Laurie Devore

I think I should just avoid books with reality shows as a plot.

5. The Optimists by Brian Platzer

Yay finally a great book with compelling characters and an interesting storyline! I loved loved loved the narrator of this book -a retired middle school teacher telling a story of his most prized student, I can’t explain what I loved so much about this book (I actually tried explaining it to my dietician on our last call and I’m positive I did NOT sell her on it), but I felt very emotionally attached to several characters and the end of it broke me a little bit. So good. Quirky. Interesting. Unique. Unforgettable. 5 stars.

6. Creep by Emma van Straaten

2 stars, could have been so much more stalker-y but instead it was just endless pages of being trapped inside the main character’s head and her thoughts were half past interesting, more toward insufferable. If this were 2004, I bet the author would have NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS in her MySpace bio,

7. Into the Blue by Emma Brodie

Another miss for me. To the author’s credit though, I do not like sci-fi stuff and this whole book is basically a romance woven around some cult-classic sci-fi TV show. I was so tuned out for most of it.

8. So Old, So Young by Grant Ginder

This seems like a really toxic (not to mention, boring) friend group. I really liked the first chapter where we find out that someone has died and one of the friends is en route from London to NYC for the funeral. I basically just kept reading o find out who it was that died. I hadn’t connected much at all with any of the characters so when I found out who it was, I was like, “Aw. Oh well.”

Kind of interesting concept is that the book is broken up into sections with focus on one part or event over the years that brings all the friends together to one location, and then each character gets their own chapter within those sections, so see each event from multiple perspectives. I didn’t hate it but I didn’t love it – middle of the road 3 stars for me.

9. Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir

Me, two seconds ago: I don’t like science fiction.

Also me: I loved Project Hail Mary! 5 stars!

Honestly, I had avoided this book for the last several years, no matter how many booktubers put it in their end of the year lists. I just felt with my whole heart that I would not like it. And honestly, I almost DNFd it at first and if I hadn’t opted for the audiobook I probably wouldn’t have made it very far into a physical copy. SO MUCH MATH! AND SCIENCE!  Like, duh Erin. Read the room. (Or a synopsis.)

But Chooch had been hounding me to read it (he made us buy him the book in March so he could read it before the movie came out) before seeing the movie. I’m glad that I did! The movie was amazing too but I think reading the book first definitely gave me a deeper appreciation for the characters but seeing the movie helped me understand WTF was happening a lot better. I need to be hand-held through certain things in life, you guys.

Amaze amaze amaze.

10. American Fantasy by Emma Straub

Oh this was bad. And to think her dad is one of my favorite authors of all time.  This apple fell off the tree, rolled down a hill, and off a fucking cliff.

11. Best Offer Wins by Marisa Kashino

Woman desperately wants to buy a house (not just “a” house, but HER DREAM HOUSE) and goes to unhinged lengths to acquire it. Great premise, very poor execution. I was not rooting for this broad even a little.

12. Everyone Is Lying to You by Jo Piazza

Nope.

13. Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Ace Atkins

KGB agents in 1980s America. Let’s go.

There is a rotating cast characters here and they all get their own chapters. Some I could have easily done without, but I loved when it was 14-year-old Peter’s chapters, and the has-been writer Hotch and his drag sidekick Jackie Demure.

Honestly could have used more Jackie. But overall, really entertaining!

And that’s it for April. Some doozies but also some fun stuff too!

1. The Missing Half by Ashley Flowers

3 stars. A relatively fast-paced thriller/mystery but not memorable. Recommended if you want to read about two broads going rogue and investigating their respective missing sisters cases, I guess.

2. The Amulet by Michael McDowell

SOLID HORROR! This was written in the late 70s/early 80s I believe and was a good reminder that horror was on a different level back then. This had me SQUIRMING. Every character was described incredibly well which made this book play out like an actual movie in my mind while I was reading it. Someone died that I did NOT want to die, though!!

As an aside, Chooch and I do the NYTimes Connections puzzle every day and TWICE recently the term “bolt” was included in “to eat hurriedly” category and we were like, “WHO THE FUCK SAYS THAT?” Literally, not even Henry had heard that. Well, McDowell uses it! It was in this book twice, which excited me and I had to snap a picture to send to Chooch. I love when stuff like that happens while reading.

But yeah, 5 stars. I need to read my way through his whole catalogue now.

3. A Little Trickerie by Rosanna Pike

Another 5’er. I can’t stress how in love I fell with this book: from the characters (Tibb is unforgettable), the relationships, the sticky situations, the unexpected humor, the unusual and quirky writing style – I have never read anything like this. And also the cover is beautiful.

I will say that when I started this, I was unsure if it was for me because the writing DOES comes off as somewhat jarring at first. We are fully inside Tibb’s head for this ride. Rosanna Pike is brilliant – this was her DEBUT novel!! – and I can’t wait to see what else she puts out!

4. The Return of Ellie Black by Emiko Jean

I don’t know what Stephen King means by “magnetic.” This was just OK.

5. On Sundays She Picked Flowers by Yah-Yah Scholfield

3.5 – lots – and I mean LOTS – of abuse and trauma in this one, holy shit. Not for the weak at heart but a very unique horror story.

6. Is This a Cry for Help? by Emily R. Austin

Lesbians and libraries! Cats! I listened to this on audio during my daily walks and it was an enjoyable experience. 3 stars.

7. It’s Not Her by Mary Kubica

3.5- a pretty good thriller that hooked me. I also listened to this on audio and I will say that Reese’s (the missing niece) chapters were so fucking annoying. I mean, I guess they were meant to be because she’s a bitchy teen, but it probably would have been less annoying if this was a physical read for me and not audio. Just putting that out there!

8. It Should Have Been You by Andrea Mara

OK so for anyone reading this just for the book recs, knowing nothing about me, here’s a fun fact: my kid went to preschool and kindergarten at a Catholic school across the street. Most of the parents were stuck-up assholes who made me feel like an outcast because I was younger and, I don’t know, they probably frowned upon my tattoos. I would volunteer to chaperone field trips, hoping it would ingratiate me with other moms but they had no interest in socializing with me. So, whenever I would write about these things on my blog, I would be sure to drag them. And then they found my blog. LOL. There was a confrontation, it was terrible, but I had to hold my head high and continue showing my face every day when I walked Chooch over there.

This book triggered some PTSD that I didn’t realize I had lol.

Other than that, it was OK but VERY far-fetched.

9. Single Player by Tara Tai

Eh. I was definitely not the demographic for this but needed filler for my walks.

10. Bad Asians by Lillian Li

I have nothing constructive to say. 2 stars.

11. The Red Knot by Monique Asher

ONE STAR – SO BAD. Poorly executed, weird scene jumps, cardboard characters. I’m glad I couldn’t see my face while reading this disaster.

I scream-read this part out loud to Henry, I’m still stewing so I need to get this off my chest: at the end of the book (not a spoiler) there is a scene with a cat who is introduced as Momma because SHE just had kittens – female pronouns are used a few times, then another character immediately refers to the cat as “he” so then the person with the cat switches to “he/him” too?! Did we just witness the quickest feline gender transition in print or was this just more sloppy writing, YOU DECIDE.

12. The Names by Florence Knapp

5 stars – such a unique plot concept, beautiful characters, and absolutely gut-wrenching. You were warned.

13. The History of Us by Leah Stewart

I thought it would be fun to read something that I added to my “want to read” list on Goodreads over 10 years ago. I had read Leah Stewart’s The Myth of You YEARS ago and absolutely loved it. I remember sending it to Christina and begging her to read it but she’s too much of a stoner to ever sit down and read a book for pleasure so that was a waste of postage. (She did eventually give it back to me and then I let Barb borrow it but she never returned it and swore she didn’t have it!)

Anyway, this was such a bore. Coincidentally though it was set in Cincinnati which is where Christina sort of lives. Side note: I FUCKING HATED THE OLDER DAUGHTER THEO. I HATED HER SO FUCKING MUCH.

14. Model Home by Rivers Solomon

A haunted house story but not. I did not enjoy this but gave it a three for being a unique take on the trope. LOTS OF TRAUMA AND TRIGGER WARNINGS in this.

15. The Future Saints by Ashley Winstead

Eh. Pretty mid. Winstead has let me down over and over ever since I gave her debut novel 5 stars. This is basically her trying to write something like Taylor Jenkins Reid. Hate to compare but it’s hard to read this and not immediately think of Daisy Jones.

I just didn’t care about anyone in this book.

16. Exit, Pursued by a Bear by E.K. Johnston

This was another “reach back into the Goodreads TBR list” pick. I listened to the audio and for a YA book, it held my interest and I really felt for Hermione. Trigger warning: (off page) rape.

The end.

This is crazy, I had no idea I read so many books last month, especially it being a short month and I didn’t have much free time! Well, here they are, it was a pretty solid month!

1. The Correspondent by Virginia Evans

Right off the bat, a 5-star read. The synopsis didn’t compel me to pick this one up, but it kept appearing on SO MANY best of the year lists that I eventually gave in. I will say- I did the audiobook for this one and it was brilliantly done. Sybil is one of my most memorable characters I have read in a good while, and what I aspire to be like when I’m old and out of fucks. This whole book is epistolary – Sybil write letters and sends email to everyone from her brother in France, her best friend/SIL, a young boy she mentors, a customer service agent at an ancestry company. Plus, unsent letters to an unknown recipient until the end. This was compelling, engaging, captivating – all the good “ing”s! I laughed and cried.

2. How to Fake a Haunting by Christa Carmen

….and then right to a 1 star read. This was absolutely abysmal. Hokey. Not scary. Confusing. I did actually laugh at loud several times, though I can promise you that wasn’t the author’s intent.

3. Notes on Infinity by Austin Taylor

So mid. Two Harvard students that I gave no shits about invent an anti-ageing drug – it was very science-y, very little action, cardboard characters. This was like a dollar store version of Tomorrow, Tomorrow, Tomorrow so just skip this and read that.

4. Lost Lambs by Madeline Cash

This was SO WEIRD in the best way. Very Kevin Wilson-esque, zany, strange, hilarious. I had no idea where this was going but had a ton of fun getting there. (The UK cover is so much better than whatever this terrible version is.)

5. My Husband’s Wife by Alice Feeney

I generally enjoy Alice Feeney, but her last book was awful – like someone else wrote it, actually. And then around this same time, Henry and I watched His & Hers on Netflix which is adapted from one of her novels that we both read and liked, but neither of us remembered a single thing from the book as we watched the series, to the point where we both had to check our phones to see if we actually read it. So, I guess we enjoy her books but they’re not memorable? I would say that this one is going in that same category. I gave it a 4, had a fun time reading it, was sufficiently tricked by the twists, but will still probably forget the plot by this time next year. I think this is where I’m leaning with thrillers in general lately though. My standards are really high.

6. Women and Children First by Alina Grabowski

I started this thinking I was going to enjoy it, but then entirely too many characters are introduced – they each get their own rambling chapter – and it just turned into a mess. No one really had their own unique voice, I was confusing teens with adults, some kid dies and that’s at the center of the whole thing but even that plot point gets lost. I just wanted this to end, also the cover is so ugly and looks like a very specific Hipstamatic filter was used on it.

7. The Autumn Springs Retirement Home Massacre by Philip Fracassi

I have enjoyed Fracassi’s horror in the past, but this was some banal Murder, She Wrote type shit.

8. If It Makes You Happy by Julie Olivia

A cozy romance set in a small town in autumn of 1997? A little bit fish-out-of-water? New beginnings? ADORABLE DOG that adds to the story? Kids that actually weren’t annoying? I am so picky with rom-coms but this one really did it for me and I expectedly sobbed my face off at the end. This was close to perfect.

9. Discontent by Beatriz Serrano

Yes. I LOL’d so much throughout this one and I will just say if my department ever forces us to go on team-building retreats, I’m out.

10. The Bewitching by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

Too many timelines. Not scary. Someone’s Goodread’s review is the very succinct “Strongest emotion I felt reading this was ‘Girl, that’s your uncle  😭'” – CO-FUCKING-SIGN. Also, the whole time I was reading it, I thought the cover was a hand holding an umbrella. Now I see that’s not it at all.

11. Loved One by Aisha Muharrar

I REALLY ENJOYED THIS. It’s largely about grief, but there is a whole subplot where the main character is on a mission to retrieve personal items of her recently-deceased best friend at the request of his mom, so there are some genuinely light-hearted moments to help balance out the crippling agony you feel when the flashbacks happen. (I’m crying, LOL.)

12. The Ruins by Scott Smith

Why do people like this? It was so boring, stupid fucking characters. Monotonous. I didn’t enjoy even a second of this and should have DNFd it but kept thinking it was going to get better. Did NOT have to be this long, either.

13. Harriet Tubman: Live in Concert by Bob the Drag Queen

SO UNIQUE! Historical fiction with a hilarious twist. This is set during a time when certain historical figures are back and living in present day. Harriet Tubman seeks out a hiphop producer in NYC to help her record an album, and the book is told from the producer’s POV. It was so funny but also beautiful and a very important work of fiction. The audiobook includes two tracks at the end! (My favorite character was DJ Quakes, AN ACTUAL QUAKER and his parts were so funny.)

I just wish this was a bit longer.

14. Coffin Moon by Keith Rosson

An interesting take on the vampire trope. While it didn’t become a favorite, it was still pretty entertaining. I liked that it was set in the 70s and I was really rooting for Duane Minor.

15. Coleman Hill by Kim Coleman Foote

Five stars. This was so ambitious and the author pulled it off. It’s a biomythography, my first time reading one, and it actually blows my mind when I step aside and really think about the effort and creativity that went into this. The author has essentially taken her actual family history and then embellished upon it to create a “modern myth.” It makes sense then, how these characters jumped off the pages, knowing now that they were based on actual living members of Kim Coleman Foote’s family. It’s fascinating, sad, hopeful, and inspiring to read about the two families that settle down in New Jersey in the 1910s during the Great Migration. This was extremely difficult to read at times which is why everyone SHOULD read it. Yes, it’s fiction, but there is truth and history there too, and that is the stuff that needs to be remembered.

16. Elena Knows by Claudia Piñeiro

A very difficult read as we’re following an older woman with Parkinson’s as she tries to prove that her daughter’s recent death wasn’t a suicide. We get flashbacks to their relationship, and the stress that Elena’s illness put on her daughter, who was also her primary caregiver. It’s so much more than just a mystery though, as it tackles big issues like abortion, chronic illness, motherhood, and a toxic mother-daughter relationship. Just, very grim. If you’re looking for a feel-good read, this ain’t it, Vanessa.

17. The Book of Guilt by Catherine Chidgey

You know, I gave this 4 stars on Goodreads but it’s closer to a 5. I went into this plot unknown and was blown away. It’s set in an orphanage in England, 1979, and follows one brother of a set of triplets, and also a mystery girl named Nancy who lives in a house with her parents but something feels off. The end goal of the children in the orphanage is to “get well” (they all think they’re in there because of a Bug) and leave for a Disney-esque place called Margate. I read it in almost one day, it was so hard to put down. Vincent forever. <3 (And Mother Night! I loved Mother Night.) (OK I just changed my review to 5 stars now that I’m thinking about this one again, it was so good.)

I just realized after my last book recap that I didn’t share my top books of 2025! I think I usually do 10 but I honestly don’t know if there were 10 clear picks for this past year.

As I probably mentioned before, I generally do not purchase books because I have TOO MUCH STUFF. But one day I hope to have enough space for a big ol’ bookshelf. That being said, one of the criteria for me giving a book 5 stars is: if I had a bookshelf, would I purchase this book? These are all big ass YESES. Other criteria:

• did the writing style itself blow me away while simultaneously making me jealous that I didn’t write it?
• did it have unforgettable characters?
• would I recommend this to anyone?
• did I completely crumble emotionally?

In no particular order, these all met that criteria:

1. Things Don’t Break on Their Own by Sarah Easter Collins

Big thanks to my friend Lindsey for recommending this one to me, it was fantastic. I love thrillers but very rarely do I find any 5 stars in that genre, but give it a literary fiction bent and now we’re talking. I thought this was beautifully written, with a dual timeline that kept me guessing.

2. The Wedding People by Alison Espach

I felt like I was INSIDE of this book the entire time I was reading it, found myself sneaking chapters when I was working, literally HEARING these characters speaking in my head. I never wanted it to end. It was authentically funny but also made me sob.

3. I See You’ve Called in Dead by John Kenney

I remember having no idea really what this book was about but the audiobook was available and I needed something to listen to on my walks. This book was so FUNNY and engaging right off the bat that I probably could have walked all day into the night until it was finished. Quirky, original, but also very heartbreaking and real. I laughed out loud while crying at the same time. That is talented writing.

4. My Friends by Fredrik Backman

I mean, it’s Fredrik Backman. If you don’t already know then you better teach yourself.

5. Heart the Lover by Lily King

So…Lily King. Her writing makes me feel so fanatical that I start getting really crazy thoughts, like, “I SHOULD GET THIS BOOK COVER TATTOOED ON MY RIBS” – these are the unhinged I NEED TO DO THE MOST type of ideas I generally reserve for bands of which I AM THE #1 FAN, NOTICE ME. I finished this book, was sobbing, and felt so frantic like I needed to send smoke signals or shoot flares into the sky to announce my having finished an incredible book AND I JUST GAVE IT 5 STARS, PITTSBUGH PEOPLE WONDERING WHY THERE ARE GAS STATION PARKING LOT-PURCHASED FIRECRACKERS EXPLODING ON PIONEER AVE.  I mean, I was practically PANTING AND RIPPING THE NECKLINE OF MY SHIRT, my need to wail about this book akin to a full moon for a lycanthrope. It is so – FUCK. It is just so good.

Anyway, those are my top 5 books from 2025. Let me know which ones had you howling at the moon last year!

I hate winter.

1. The Psychopath Next Door by Mark Edwards

Pleasantly surprised with this one! Dual POVs, kept me turning the pages, and I of course loved the Cure references (the dad owns a record shop!). Sometimes it feels like “you read one psychological thriller, you read ’em all” but the plot of this one was fresh and the end was pretty awesome, ngl. I gotta check out more of his books now to see if this guy is a one-trick pony or what.

2. Middle Spoon by Alejandro Varela

I listened to this epistolary book on audio and it held my interest for about 1/3, maybe even a 1/2, but it became insufferable. I appreciated the polyamory rep, but it was hard to relate to and care about the main character, who we’re following from his POV through emails he’s writing but not sending to his ex-boyfriend. He was EXTREMELY whiny and difficult to root for – fuck it, I was rooting for his husband to leave his ass, honestly. Not the worst book but it does become pretty grating.

3. A New New Me by Helen Oyeyemi

This might have been my least favorite Oyeyemi book :( I still adore her brain and her ability to churn out the most original and bizarre stories but this one was almost a chore to read. Each chapter was a different day  and a different personality of the main character, Kinga. Hard to explain, but each new day starts with the next Kinga trying to figure out what predicament the previous Kinga put them in, except make it SUPER LITERARY. This author bends my brain in ways not even MATH does. Nothing but love for her but god help me if anyone ever asks me to recap any of her books because all I will be able to tell you is how each one made me feel while reading it.

Wow, did I sell this or what.

4. The Story That Cannot Be Told by J. Kasper Kramer

Margie asked me what this was about when I was reading it and I said, “Well, it’s a middle grade book about a young girl in Bucharest during the Communist regime in 1989 and her parents send her away to rural Romania to live with her grandparents because her Uncle published stories criticizing the govt and now the whole family is being surveilled.”

Margie was like, “Oh.”

I read such uplifting fluff!

But yeah, for a middle grade book, this was heavy.

5. An Evil Premise by T. Marie Vandelly

Do not recommend the audio book for this one and honestly it ruined my experience to the point where I truly don’t know if I would have liked the story if I had read a physical copy of it. I loved her other book so much but this one was fell flat for me and seemed really long, too. I think my expectations were too high because her book Theme Music blew me away. This is also horror but it didn’t get under my skin at all (except for that narrator!!!) and I also had a had time following along at times because it’s about a woman who is trying to finish her sister’s horror book while her sister is in the hospital, and there were times when I was like, “Wait, is this the book, or this really happening?” and then I realized that I didn’t really care.

6. That’s Not How It Happened by Craig Thomas

OK but speaking of audio books – THIS ONE WAS EVERYTHING. The book and the narration – 5 fucking stars. First of all, it’s written by the co-creator of How I Met Your Mother and Colbie Smulders and Josh Radnor are two of the narrators. EXCEPTIONAL. The book is about a woman who writes a book about being the mother of a son with Down syndrome, and years later it’s getting turned into a movie. Hilarity and frustration ensue. You get chapters from the mom, dad, brother, and sister and they are all very real, flawed characters that I latched on to so hard. It is so funny but also had me crying. 100% recommended (audio if you’re into it!).

7. Cover Story by Mhairi McFarlane

Dang son, two 5-star books in a row. I don’t normally give super high ratings to rom-com but Mhairi McFarlane is the exception. This is my third McFarlane and she is immaculate vibes all around. She writes such real characters, the dialogue is snappy, and the romance is not cloying or forced. I cried. A lot.

8. Feast While You Can by Mikaella Clements

I did not enjoy this at all and don’t feel like writing anything about it. The colors of the cover are so good though.

9. Breathe In, Bleed Out by Brian McAuley

Oh, I had such high hopes for this! It was somehow a Goodreads Nominee for Readers’ Favorite Horror but it was cheesy and had no horror vibes as far as I’m concerned.

10. The Other Side of Now by Paige Harbison

And then this book landed in my lap and made up for the two previous duds! Our main character is on some hit TV series, is pretty blah about her life, and books an impromptu flight to a little village in Ireland where she was supposed to go to college but ended up staying in Florida for school. Once she arrives there, she gets to see what her life would have been like if she had chosen differently and it was such so warm and pure, a perfect read during the frigid winter season. I really liked this more than I thought I would.

11. Thirteens (Thirteens, #1) by Kate Alice Marshall

This was cute and fun – made me wish I knew a kid that I could buy this series for! I don’t think I’ll continue on past this one but it was a fun read while I was waiting for other books to land in my library.

12. The Housemaid (The Housemaid, #1) by Freida McFadden

OK I caved. The audio was on Hoopla and I was in between reads so I dove in, completely expecting to hate it. Look – I’m not saying this was some literary wonder, but it was actually entertaining! It kept my interest held and I finished it in about a day. Nothing groundbreaking here but if you hate men like I do, it was satisfying. I can see why this is so popular but I don’t think I will continue on.

13. Anatomy of an Alibi by Ashley Elston

Mid.

14. The Everlasting by Alix E. Harrow

I started out really enjoying this but then I got a stomach virus in the middle of it so now when I think about it I just feel really gross and sick. So by the end, I just wanted it to be over. It’s pretty repetitive because the whole point is that this dude keeps getting sent back in time to make sure this lady-knight does what she needs to do.

15. It’s a Love Story by Annabel Monaghan

Nothing too groundbreaking here, just a cute hate-to-love romance. I enjoyed it for what it is.

16. Morsels by Abe Moss

1 star so stupid, one of the worst books I’ve ever read.

17. Wild Dark Shore by Charlotte McConaghy

No surprise here, this book was the 2025 darling and it’s no wonder why. Five stars, couldn’t put it down but also didn’t want to turn the page at  times because I knew my heart would break. The animal and climate change parts broke me as I knew they would (I read this author’s book “Migrations” and it was similarly environmental and too heavy for this bleeding heart lib) but also the people in this book. Oh,  the Salt family. Rowan. I will never forget them. This book is so quiet and mysterious, I don’t know what else to say about it other than it left me crying out loud on Saturday while Henry was at the store and I was suddenly so aware of my loneliness. Oh, this could end up being one of my top books of the year and we’re only one month in.

That’s all. Three 5 stars in one month is not too bad though!

December books coming atchoo.

1. An Abundance of Katherines by John Green

I actually read this on the last day of November and somehow forgot to include it in that wrap-up.  Mostly, I wanted to see what a John Green book is like as an (older) adult and this was pretty insufferable to get through if we’re being real here. Also, it did not age well.

2. Culpability by Bruce Holsinger

I generally hate books about tech (and now, AI) but this one was pretty compelling and thought-provoking, revolving around a fatal car accident that may or may not have been caused by the autonomous minivan driven by a teenager with his whole family in tow.

3. A Perfect Union of Contrary Things by Sarah Jensen

OOOoooof. I love MJK and all of his projects but this was book was such a snooze. I get that he’s good friends with the broad who wrote this but perhaps it would have been interesting in someone else’s hands. I couldn’t wait for this to end.

4.Small Things Like These by Claire Keegan

Henry and I listened to this audiobook on the drive home from Chicago and both had the same reaction: “That’s it?” It reminded me of a line from a Cure song, “And wait…and wait….and wait for something to happen.”

5. We Are All Guilty Here (North Falls, #1) by Karin Slaughter

This book was so long, and for what.

File under: if you read one, you’ve read them all.

6. The Stranger by Albert Camus

I just REALLY was invested in that fucking dog.

It reads like a flat line. Despondent and devoid of feeling, just like how it feels living in present day America.

I’m depressed.

7. The Listeners by Maggie Stiefvater

It was no Raven Boys, but it’ll do. I never really fully grasped the concept of the magic (?) water. There were some real characters up in that hotel  though!

8. A Novel Love Story by Ashley Poston

LOVED IT. Charming. Cute. Memorable characters. Fun concept. Snazzy cover. Let’s go, Ashley Poston! I adore her and this was just the light-hearted read I needed during the stress of the holiday season.

9. The Cold House by A.G. Slatter

Short and scary! I really enjoyed this one – it was funny and dark, with an ending that I did NOT see coming.

10. My Train Leaves at Three by Natalie Guerrero

Maybe I’m the wrong demographic for this one. I thought it was just OK because I’m not a struggling 20-something singer using sex as a coping mechanism. I love the cover colors though.

11. The God of the Woods by Liz Moore

OK this one is wildly popular and hyped, and I LOVED this author’s last book, but this one was so. fucking. boring. “…a thrilling drama unfolds.” – BITCH, WHERE? All those POVs for what?? Not one compelling character. I didn’t care if the missing kid was ever found, to be honest.

12. Forget Me Not by Stacy Willingham

I generally like Stacy Willingham but this was a miss for me. One should not be bored when reading a thriller.

Wow, and that concludes my 2025 book wrap-up. I will maybe come back with a list of my faves. It feels like I didn’t have very many this year but maybe I’m just a bitch who needs medication, who knows.

I don’t have an intro.

1. Parents Weekend by Alex Finlay

Eh. Some Alex Finlay hits but this not of them.

2. Guess Again by Charlie Donlea

This was a hot mess.

3. Bat Eater and Other Names for Cora Zeng by Kylie Lee Baker

OK, now THIS one I really liked. It brought back a lot of the Stop Asian Hate rage that us normal, non-racist people felt during the height of Covid and then shows you what it was like for Asian Americans. I loved the supernatural element to this as well – it was so creepy but also had more than a few LOL moments. Loved it.

4. The Exorcist’s House (The Exorcist’s House, #1) by Nick Roberts

LOVED IT. 4.5 – exorcism is my favorite horror trope and this was so chilling that I could only read 1 or 2 chapters at a time.

4. The Wasp Trap by Mark Edwards

4 stars – this one kept me hooked enough to make me seek out other books of the author so we’ll see if this was a fluke! I have one sitting behind me as I type.

5. Talking as Fast as I Can: From Gilmore Girls to Gilmore Girls by Lauren Graham

Not as juicy as I wanted, but I opted for the audio which is narrated by Lauren Graham and it was just so comforting to have her voice in my ears.

6. All the Sinners Bleed by S.A. Cosby

S.A.Crosby is such a solid thriller writer and never fails to make me hate white people more and more. Not as good as Razorblade Tears though. That’s my bar for S.A.Crosby novels.

7. Slashed Beauties by A. Rushby

Holy shit, this was so boring. What a beautiful book cover wasted on this snoozefest. NOTHING HAPPENS for the longest time!

8.We Live Here Now by Sarah Pinborough

A pretty unique take on the haunted house trope but for me personally, it didn’t scare or chill me. I’ll give it a three though because it was still entertaining.

9. Automatic Noodle by Annalee Newitz

Someone called it “cozy sci-fi” and while I don’t like sci-fi, generally, I thought that maybe the cozy element would win me over. It was just OK.

10. Palaver by Bryan Washington

YES. This was fantastic. And the author includes photos from when he lived in Japan. Sentimental. Uncomfortable. At times, relatable. SAD. FUNNY. HAPPY. ENDEARING. I did not like “Memorial” that much by this same author so I was admittedly hesitate to pick this up but the cover spoke to me at the library. I am so glad I gave it a chance because it was beautiful and I don’t think I will ever forget it.

(I review with my emotions in case you couldn’t tell. “Oh, you wanted a plot? Click on the link. We’re talking about my FEELINGS here.”)

11. 60 Songs That Explain the ’90s by Rob Harvilla

Rob Harvilla used to write for AltPress back when I was a fervid subscriber so when I saw this was available on audio, I thought, “Eh, why the heck not. I was alive in the 90s.” Admittedly, there isn’t much from the 90s that I genuinely like (I know, I’m a traitor to my generation) but it was still fun and entertaining to listen to Rob go off on tangents while intertwining his own personal connections with the songs. This was also what inspired to pick up Maynard James Keenan’s biography earlier this month, spoiler. I gave it a 4 – it’s not riveting or groundbreaking but it was just a fun listen while getting in my daily steps. You know how it is. (P.S. I didn’t get a pretentious man-splainy vibe from this either which we love.)

12. Strange Houses by Uketsu

I don’t remember reading this many books in November. But this one I definitely remember because it was pretty creepy. This was my second Uketsu book and I think it’s safe to say I’m a fan.

13. Assembly by Natasha Brown

Beautifully written and I dare you to not be pissed off as you experience all of the micro-aggressions the narrator experiences just trying to BREATHE. A short but solid read to end the month for me.

1. Rejection by Tony Tulathimutte

OK this is very verbose and ambitious and definitely not some light, quaint beach read. It’s a series of interconnected (subtly, blink and you might miss it) stories about a case of flawed people experiencing rejection in different ways. I was really into this until toward the end when I reached the Main Character story, and then it blew my attention and interest into smithereens. I will say that this was some of the hardest writing I’ve ever read in terms of subject matter, while somehow still giving me moments where I genuinely laughed. There was one story that went DEEP into a gay Thai man’s kink and it was sending me back to my LiveJournal days when nothing was off limits and I wrote some seriously depraved shit but none of that even came close to this wildly imaginative smut.

I really wanted to give this a 5 but that one damn story really took me out of the zone.

2. The Dead Husband Cookbook by Danielle Valentine

Great cover but I spent much of the book asking myself, “No seriously, haven’t we already read this?” I think it’s just kind of a basic thriller. I was neither shocked nor awed but the audiobook version provided mild entertainment on my daily walks so I can’t complain. There were some genuinely creepy moments, but then way too many descriptions of meat and slaughter which ruined it for me.  Middle of the road 3 stars.

3. The Watchers (The Watchers, #1) by A.M. Shine

I gave this a three only because the ending was pretty decent but I was alarmingly bored through the first 3/4 of this book. The only character I liked was the bird.  I don’t think I will watch the movie (which is kind of funny because we were somewhere recently where it was on TV in the hotel – maybe Newark? – and even that seemed uninteresting yet I still picked up the book!! To my credit, I didn’t make that connection at first. Needless to say, I will not be continuing on to the next one in the series.

4. Small Spaces (Small Spaces, #1) by Katherine Arden

Sometimes we need a good, creepy Middle Grade horror in October for old time’s sake. This was really fun!

5. Ghost Camera by Darcy Coates

Oh. I didn’t realize this was a short story collection. I did enjoy the title … track? lol. But the rest were pretty lame. I was listening to this on audio and finished it at O’Hare airport during our stupid 5 hour delay and it did nothing to improve my mood. Also, one of the stories was about a plane crash, so amazing fucking timing.

6. Julie Chan Is Dead by Liann Zhang

And then I didn’t read AT ALL while we were in Romania. But I picked this one up when we got back and it was just OK. Actually, the first half was really great until the reveal (I guess?) happened and then it got really far-fetched and I quickly lost interest.

7. Heart the Lover by Lily King

You know that Friends episode where Monica is doing her erogenous zones demonstration and totally sends herself when she gets to 7? That is me telling you that this book is a 5! 5! 5! OMG FIVEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! 

I actually brought this with me to Romania and I am so glad I didn’t attempt to read it while on the plane or actually there because this fucking TREASURE, this MASTERPIECE, broke me. I was weeping messily at home reading it and I can only imagine the scenes I would have caused if I had been reading this in public. Lily King is a literary goddess. The way she writes her characters into existence, I felt like I was a part of it. I WANTED to be part of. It’s like feeling that aching tug of nostalgia for something you didn’t actually experience – Lily King does that.

The last sentence of this book fucking killed me. And then when I realized it is connected to her other masterpiece, Writers & Lovers, I lost my damn mind. I am crying just thinking about this book. If you take anything from this dumb book review post, let this be the one. Read this. Maybe ready Writers & Lovers first, but it’s not necessarily a must. (I recommend it though! You won’t regret it.)

(Maybe you will and if you do, don’t come for me.)

8. All Fours by Miranda July

I am such a Miranda July fan-girl. This new one of hers was so gross and weird and poignant and hilarious and RELATABLE. Totally Miranda July-coded. Which also happens to be Erin Rachelle-coded. Every time I see one of her IG posts or read her latest book, I feel like we could be really great friends. She is so fucking weird lol.

I listened to the audio version of this which is narrated by July and her soft, quiet voice just really puts the bow on the package. Her writing is not for everyone, but it is for me. And I love her.

9. Motherthing by Ainslie Hogarth

What a waste of a great book cover. I did not enjoy this. Referring to this as horror is incorrect and deceiving. It was very boring and not even remotely scary or chilling. Sorry.

10.Grief Is for People by Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley is up there in my Lily King god tier. This is her memoir about grieving the loss of her best friend, which happened to coincide with her apartment being broken into. The subject matter sounds like this would be extremely depressing and heavy-handed, and it IS very sad at times, but she manages to frame her friend’s suicide with these beautiful, funny, quirky vignettes to show us why she loved him, who he was, what he meant to her. The good and the bad. Definitely somber at times, and by the end, you will feel like you lost him too. You will go through all the stages with her. So beautiful and unforgettable, an amazing tribute to a best friend.

11. The Eyes Are the Best Part by Monika Kim

When we were at Castle Blood, one of the items we obtained during our challenges was a plastic eyeball. “I’m actually reading a book right now about some girl who is obsessed with eating eyeballs,” I blurted out to the two strangers in our group. Why do I do these things. That statement hung in the air like a rancid fart before we all moved on with our quest in the Castle.

But no seriously, the protagonist in this book becomes obsessed with men’s eyeballs and eating them. This is an unhinged revenge mission and I loved it. FUCK GEORGE. FUCK ALL MEN, honestly.

12. Penpal by Dathan Auerbach

OK I don’t know why I gave this just a 4 on Goodreads, because it was brilliantly chilling, exactly what I wanted for October! I actually purchased this for my Kindle about 5 years ago and then my Kindle broke and I’m sure there is still a way to read it but I am too lazy and forgot about it. I ended up just getting it from the library when I remembered that it existed and it was worth the wait. This was expertly craft, kept me rapt, filled me with dread, and the only far-fetched part of it in my mind was that this shit was going on when the two friends were IN KINDERGARTEN and running amok in the woods and neighborhood? I get that this was the 70s or 80s I guess, but it was still hard to picture these little Kindergartners out in the wild. I don’t know, maybe I’m just being hyper-critical because I had literally no other complaints with this book.

And those are the books I read in October, thank you for attention to this matter. – Queen ERK

1. I Must Betray You by Ruta Sepetys

I asked the library to recommend books written by Romanian authors or set in Romania to help me prepare for our trip – I like to educate myself on more than just “Instagram famous cafes” when I’m traveling somewhere new, OK?? Anyway, this book was EXACTLY what I was hoping for.

It’s technically YA I guess, but didn’t really feel that way. Set in 1989 Communist Bucharest, it was very eye-opening. I feel like this is a leg of Communism that we don’t really learn about in school, and it was kind of blowing my mind to know that while I was reading the Babysitter’s Club books and going to roller skating parties, kids in Romania were being blackmailed and spied on by turned family members.

Five stars. I highly recommend this book but can understand why, in our current climate here in America, it might not be the best read.

2. Human Rites (Her Majesty’s Royal Coven, #3) by Juno Dawson

OK this is why I don’t like fantasy series! I adored the first two books in this series but by the time I got around to reading the last one (hopefully this is it!), I had completely forgotten what happened in Book 2 and felt so lost. Way too many character arcs, plots, side missions, etc. I quickly lost interest and fell out of love with this case of misfit witches. Literally any single one of them could have died and I wouldn’t have felt a thing, which was not the case at all during the first two books.

But again –  I’m not the best when it comes to book series (EXCEPT BEARTOWN AND THE RAVEN BOYS CYCLE!) so take my review with a grain of salt.

3. I See You by Clare Mackintosh

I like this author, and I think I have decided that I like British thrillers best. This one was entertaining and the twist actually got me good.

4. The Lake of Lost Girls by Katherine Greene

OK I expected this to be lame because it was one I got on Hoopla when I was in-between holds from the library. I had never heard of this one but it was GOOD. First of all, great as an audio book because there are podcast chapters. The rest of the chapters go back and forth between two POVs and two timelines – one is set in 1998 and follows a college student who goes missing around a time where other girls from campus also went missing, and the other is present-day and follows her younger sister who is now an adult and sniffing around the case.

This was a GREAT book to listen to on my walks. Another twist I didn’t see coming.

5. Lauryn Harper Falls Apart by Shauna Robinson

Corny but cute, great fall vibes, and I loved that it focused on mending a broken friendship and NOT a romance.

6. Time, Death, and the Unspeakable Secret by Mircea Eliade

Another library recommendation but I couldn’t get through it. Short stories, man. Plus this was way too academic-feeling, like I was reading it for a grade. I couldn’t get myself to enjoy it. VERY dense and philosophical which makes sense because it was written by a Romanian philosopher and professor. So, I’m the problem! Me and my dumb-dumb walnut brain.

7. Every Time I Go on Vacation, Someone Dies by Catherine Mack

What. Oof. OFC this is being turned into a TV series. The worst books always are.

8. 13 Months Haunted by Jimmy Juliano

Not bad! I wasn’t creeped out too much but it was an interesting plot and I loved all of the late 90s/early 00s Internet throwbacks. It made me so nostalgic!

9. Maggie; or, A Man and a Woman Walk Into a Bar by Katie Yee

I really wanted to love this but it was too stream-of-conscious-y for me, like reading a series of LiveJournal posts, albeit thoughtful and well-written. Woman gets told by husband that he’s having an affair and wants to leave her, then she gets breast cancer, and somehow expresses absolutely no anger.

10. Too Old for This by Samantha Downing

Super far-fetched but had several LOL moments. I just wanted her to be able to fucking sit down and rest!

11. How Can I Help You by Laura Sims

A former killer nurse gets a job as a librarian. Everything is fine until a new person is hired, and she happens to be an aspiring writer with great observation skills. It was alright.

12. Play Nice by Rachel Harrison

OMG YES. 5 STARS. GAGGED.  I fucking adored this. Rachel Harrison is totally my style with the way she writes her dialogue and the personality she pumps into her characters makes the whole thing come to life in my head. This book took precedence over everything else in my life during the few days I was reading it. I actually got legit scared two nights ago when I was reading it in bed before going to sleep – it was one of those, “JUST ONE MORE CHAPTER AND THEN I’LL TURN OFF THE LIGHT, GET OVER YOURSELF, HENRY!!” moments where I did NOT want to stop reading – and I fucking swear to god I heard movement downstairs and kept whispering DID YOU HEAR THAT to Henry, who had already fallen asleep. I don’t know why he bitches about the light being on when he’s just going to fall asleep anyway, motherfucker used to nap at Warped Tour for god’s sake.

Last night, I was brushing my teeth and a towel slowly fell off the hook behind me and made me scream and practically deep-throat my toothbrush, so that was great.

And this morning I was taking a shower and became acutely aware of the fact that I was home alone and it was still dark outside.

I loved that at the heart of this book though was an INTENSE family drama. And lots of trauma. Grief. Regret. While still making me laugh!!

Yeah, this book checked all the boxes for me. My favorite Rachel Harrison book so far!

No intro.

1. Atmosphere by Taylor Jenkins Reid

3.5? I loved the characters, loved that it was set in the 80s, loved that it wasn’t TOO spacey because I hate outer space shit, but the end felt a bit rushed. I did get pretty choked up at times because TJR has a way of writing characters that feel so feel (with the exception of Malibu Rising – I hated everyone in that book and it was, imo, trash).

2. You Shouldn’t Have Come Here by Jeneva Rose

I love this author as a person – her instagram cracks me up and makes me smile – but she is very hit or miss with her books. I didn’t enjoy this. Someone’s review on Goodreads was “You Shouldn’t Have Read This” and IJBOL’d because I really felt that! Yeah, this one is very skippable. I read the shitty books so you don’t have to, I guess.

4. The French Honeymoon by Anne-Sophie Jouhanneau

2 stars. Not a fan.

5. Strange Pictures by Uketsu

YOOOOO. Finally! A 5 star horror! Totally unique, chilling, and exceptionally fun to read! Japanese horror is always such a wild ride.

If you’re an audio book aficionado, try to get a physical copy too because there are pictures!

6. Five-Star Stranger by Kat Tang

4 stars for me but this got some big mixed reviews and people were pissed about the little girl but…it’s a fucking book, you guys. Basically, this dude can be rented out to fulfil various purposes – like a date to a wedding. He has a few gigs that he’s juggling but the most insane one is where he pretends to be the dad of a young girl once a week – she thinks he’s an OTR truck driver. Things get messy. It was entertaining and fascinating, COME AT ME.

7. A Simple Favor by Darcey Bell

After I finished this TERRIBLE book, I realized that I read another of her books and gave it a 1 Star – wish I had remembered that so I could have avoided this one! And OF COURSE it was made into a movie with fucking Anna Kendrick (barf) and Blake Lively (my Anna Kendrick barf is barfing).  The funniest thing is that I can’t think of a single thing that happened in this crappy book.

OH OK, I read the synopsis and now I remember that I was listening to the audio book of this when I was doing Japanese walking for the first time in Jefferson Memorial.

8. Queen B by Juno Dawson

A novella set in the 1600s, featuring Anne Boleyn. For as short as it was, it felt like it was dragging on. I loved the HRMC series though and thought this would tide me over while waiting for the third installment but it was just OK.

9. We Won’t All Survive by Kate Alice Marshall

1 star, so bad. Avoid at all costs.

10. The Golden Couple by Greer Hendricks

This is split between the wife of a couple in therapy, and the therapist (actually unlicensed). Loved the chapters with the marriage counselor. The wife was so boring. It was a decent domestic thriller though, would have made a good plane read.

11. If Something Happens to Me by Alex Finlay

OK! I have read some shitty books by this guy but I genuinely liked this one. It was pretty wild and I audibly gasped when the storylines came together. Super entertaining and I found myself going on extra walks so I could keep listening to the audiobook. So, good for the health, too! You got me, Mr, Finlay!

12. Blob: A Love Story by Maggie Su

Fucking weird and just what I needed. Downtrodden, recently dumped college dropout Vi finds a blob outside of a bar, takes it home, feeds it cereal, it becomes sentient. Hijinks ensure while we get a good look at why Vi is the way she is through vignettes of her childhood. It made me uncomfy and I loved that for me.

_______________________

bye bye bye buhubuhbuhubye.

July seems forever ago. And so do these books.

1. The Last Time I Lied by Riley Sager

Somehow, I skipped over this old Riley Sager book but now I have finally read every single of his novels, for better or worse. This one was not one of the best but not one of the worst. I have never read from a more inconsistent author, ISTFG.

2. Rainbow Black by Maggie Thrash

I saw “Satanic Panic” and “gay international-fugitive love story” and was all in. But this 100% did not deliver. It was extremely long and drawn out but SHOULD have been a higher rated book for me because while a dark and traumatic subject, it was written with humor and sharp sarcasm. But the story itself did not hold up to its end of the bargain. Good dialogue writing will only get you so far.

3. Saltwater by Katy Hays

I LOVED THIS BOOK. EVERYTHING ABOUT IT. I only rated it a 4 on Goodreads but looking back on it, the fact that it’s stuck with me, made me crave revisiting Italy, and was full of characters that seemed real and fleshed-out to me – maybe this should have been a five. Especially because I would recommend it to anyone. Props to Megan who actually left me her library copy of this while I was cat-sitting for her, because she still had time left on it and knows I’m a fast reader, because this wasn’t on my radar and honestly – the cover isn’t something that would ever convince me to pick it up.

4. Victorian Psycho by Virginia Feito

Another 4-star! This was twisted and I loved every fucking page. A book that can me laugh out loud *and* want to vomit? Yep. This author is right up my alley. My Goodreads review: “Jesus. Lol.”

5. Piglet by Lottie Hazell

And another 4-star! July treated me well. This was another book with a protagonist full of neuroses and it sucked me right in. Trigger warning for people with disordered eating and that people is me. Very tough for me at times but worth it. Great writing. Justice for Piglet.

6. The Guilt Pill: A Psychological Thriller of Motherhood and Ambition by Saumya Dave

2 stars. Total snooze and a waste of an eye-catching cover.

7. The Better Liar by Tanen Jones

3 stars – a middle of the road domestic thriller. It kept me interested but I’m not screaming about it from the rooftop.

8. If an Egyptian Cannot Speak English by Noor Naga

OH! This was INTRIGUING. I loved the style of this writing. Totally invested. I just wish it had provided a bit more descriptions of Cairo. 4.5 – it resonated with me big time. The ending truly caught me off guard too.

9. Bel Canto by Ann Patchett

OK hear me out. I love Ann Patchett. Especially Dutch House which was beyond 5 stars in my heart. But this….oof. I ultimately gave it a 3 but there were many, many, many times I considered DNFing. It took so long for anything to happen. So mundane. The opera singer was one of the most cardboard cutout characters I’ve ever been forced to read about in a novel. I did not give a single shit about her. It did pick up eventually only to have one of the worst and most disappointing endings of any book I’ve read. I can’t recommend this one.

10. Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me by Mariko Tamaki

Oh, go fuck yourself, Laura Dean. HONESTLY!

A bad month of books, chosen very poorly by me. I am really going to keep this one short n’ sweet.

1. The Wife’s Silence by Amanda McKinney

The fact that I don’t even remember reading this is all you need to know.

2. Long Time Gone by Charlie Donlea

A mid but mildly entertaining thriller.

3. Careless People: A Cautionary Tale of Power, Greed, and Lost Idealism by Sarah Wynn-Williams

If you don’t already hate Facebook, you will after you read this memoir about Sarah’s stint working closely with Mark Zuckerberg and Sheryl Sandberg (who is a FUCKING WEIRDO, btw). There is a lot of intricate detailing about government and political policies that made me want to start snoozing but overall, it was a dish-y peek into the high-level happenings within FB. And it made me fucking sick. 8 years off Facebook and still no regertz!

Also, Mark and Co. really didn’t want this book to see the light of day, which is all the more reason for everyone to read it and give it a good rating! Boost this shit up!

4. The Secrets We Buried by Becca Day

2 stars. Boring. Hoopla almost always lets me down when I’m looking for an “in-between” audio book to keep me company on my walks. This was so lame and forgettable.

5. The Perfect Divorce (Perfect, #2) by Jeneva Rose

I love Jeneva Rose as a person – her Instagram content is so funny and real! And while I loved  The Perfect Marriage, it truly didn’t need this sequel. Also, I could barely remember how the first one ended! This was skippable.

6. The Last Time I Lied by Riley Sager

Apparently, this was the only Sager backlog that I hadn’t read so I figured I owed it to myself even though I am so love/hate with his books. This was an older one and actually not too bad. A godo summertime read, with its summer camp setting. It didn’t blow me away, but I was entertained.

7. Vanishing World by Sayaka Murata

My least favorite Murata book so far :( I’m usually so ready for her to fuck me up – and oh boy, did she ever – but this one didn’t have the fun, rompy element to it that I was craving. I…legitimately don’t know how to rate this. That ending…she really went there. And like, way worse than in the DeGrassi sense, lol.

There are so many trigger warnings – I would suggest looking them up.

8. The Manor of Dreams by Christina Li

A gothic horror with a Chinese flair. Very atmospheric. Haunted house. Feuding families. It wasn’t scary, but it did make me sad. Should I write book reviews professionally or what.

9. When the Wolf Comes Home by Nat Cassidy

Disgusting. Legitimately scary. LAUGH OUT LOUD FUNNY. Sad. Nat Cassidy is a master of modern horror and I am obsessed with him. This was the one solid, 5 star, loved it to death book that I read all month. It was like going on an adventure. And good lord, another phenomenal afterword. DO NOT SKIP HIS AFTERWORDS!! Nat Cassidy is a treasure.

10. #CrimeTime by Jeneva Rose

OK THIS is the Jeneva Rose I love. This was so much fun! An audio original, written with her husband, with a full cast. Super entertaining. Fast-paced. I adored this. I hope they do more of these! (It got VERY mixed reviews on Goodreads though.)

No intro.

1. Love, Pamela by Pamela Anderson

I actually read this on 4/30 but left it off of my April round-up by accident. This was fine – I listened to the audio and I do genuinely like Pamela. I was hoping for some more Hollywood dishing I guess but overall it did leave me with even more respect and admiration for her. Her childhood was…yikes.

2. What Does It Feel Like? by Sophie Kinsella

I grabbed this from the library because I wanted something quick to read and had no idea that it was loosely based on the author’s own experience with a brain tumor and having to essentially re-learn everything each day. Somehow this was still pretty light, considering.

3. Witchcraft for Wayward Girls by Grady Hendrix

I will say that it was a risky move for a man to write a book about teenage pregnancy in the 70s but I think he kind of pulled it off. The problem is that it was just kind of boring. And it felt VERY long.

4. Great Big Beautiful Life by Emily Henry

I am so sorry to say that I am falling out of love with Emily Henry. After a while, the novelty wears out and you’re able to really see that the author just keeps recycling characters, tropes, finger-snapping banter. It really worked for me for the first few books but this was actually kind of dreadful and I HATED the story-within-the-story. HATED IT. It was so boring and tedious, and also, the main characters fall in love almost immediately and it wasn’t believable at all to me. Yeah, there’s a twist but by then IDGAF.

My Goodreads review: This was…bad :/ I have loved so many Emily Henry books but after a while it’s just the same characters over and over. Quirky NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS protagonist; surly, serious YOU WONT KNOCK DOWN MY WALLS man. Not working for me anymore. At least not for this one.

5. Has Anyone Seen Charlotte Salter by Nicci French

I usually love this married writing duos’ books but this was another one that was entirely boring for most of the first part and then by the time it picked up and we find out if anyone has seen the bitch, I didn’t care.

6. One of Us Is Dead by Jeneva Rose

Light, upbeat book about nasty rich wives and the woman who takes care of them in her salon. Then it turns VERY dark. I liked it – not too deep but just plain entertaining and sassy.

7. The Resting Place by Camilla Sten

Eh. Not as good as the Lost Village, which she also wrote.

8. What Happened to Nina? by Dervla McTiernan

If you followed the Gabby Petito investigation, then you can probably skip this because it’s very clearly loosely based off that. Nothing was very shocking here BUT it was still an entertaining listen while I was on my walks and that’s my only criteria for audio books.

9. Run for the Hills by Kevin Wilson

I loved Nothing to See Here and now this is the second book of his that I read after that has disappointed me. It did not engage me, not a single character, and in fact the only good thing that came of it was that there was a reference to one of the characters wanting to film their siblings in profile and then I started picturing me, Henry and Chooch in profile and somehow that morphed into me coming home from a walk and screaming, “I FINALLY HAVE AN IDEA FOR A CHRISTMAS CARD AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!” and Henry was like, “It’s….May.”

10.The Winner by Teddy Wayne

There’s a review on Goodreads that says simply, “Only a man could have written this” and I have nothing else to say except: laden with misogyny.

11. My Friends by Fredrik Backman

But nothing else I read all month matters because THIS. THIS!!!!!!!

Another 5-star from Backman. Not Beartown-tier, but still a five. HOW does he write such broken, imperfect and lovable characters. I felt for every single person in this book. I cried so much. I had to actually stop reading it Saturday morning because we were meeting my sister for lunch later and I was crying all of my makeup off. I don’t know how to articulate it, but his books are so comforting to me and also fill my heart with so much sadness simultaneously.

Bye.