1. I Must Betray You by Ruta Sepetys

I asked the library to recommend books written by Romanian authors or set in Romania to help me prepare for our trip – I like to educate myself on more than just “Instagram famous cafes” when I’m traveling somewhere new, OK?? Anyway, this book was EXACTLY what I was hoping for.

It’s technically YA I guess, but didn’t really feel that way. Set in 1989 Communist Bucharest, it was very eye-opening. I feel like this is a leg of Communism that we don’t really learn about in school, and it was kind of blowing my mind to know that while I was reading the Babysitter’s Club books and going to roller skating parties, kids in Romania were being blackmailed and spied on by turned family members.

Five stars. I highly recommend this book but can understand why, in our current climate here in America, it might not be the best read.

2. Human Rites (Her Majesty’s Royal Coven, #3) by Juno Dawson

OK this is why I don’t like fantasy series! I adored the first two books in this series but by the time I got around to reading the last one (hopefully this is it!), I had completely forgotten what happened in Book 2 and felt so lost. Way too many character arcs, plots, side missions, etc. I quickly lost interest and fell out of love with this case of misfit witches. Literally any single one of them could have died and I wouldn’t have felt a thing, which was not the case at all during the first two books.

But again –  I’m not the best when it comes to book series (EXCEPT BEARTOWN AND THE RAVEN BOYS CYCLE!) so take my review with a grain of salt.

3. I See You by Clare Mackintosh

I like this author, and I think I have decided that I like British thrillers best. This one was entertaining and the twist actually got me good.

4. The Lake of Lost Girls by Katherine Greene

OK I expected this to be lame because it was one I got on Hoopla when I was in-between holds from the library. I had never heard of this one but it was GOOD. First of all, great as an audio book because there are podcast chapters. The rest of the chapters go back and forth between two POVs and two timelines – one is set in 1998 and follows a college student who goes missing around a time where other girls from campus also went missing, and the other is present-day and follows her younger sister who is now an adult and sniffing around the case.

This was a GREAT book to listen to on my walks. Another twist I didn’t see coming.

5. Lauryn Harper Falls Apart by Shauna Robinson

Corny but cute, great fall vibes, and I loved that it focused on mending a broken friendship and NOT a romance.

6. Time, Death, and the Unspeakable Secret by Mircea Eliade

Another library recommendation but I couldn’t get through it. Short stories, man. Plus this was way too academic-feeling, like I was reading it for a grade. I couldn’t get myself to enjoy it. VERY dense and philosophical which makes sense because it was written by a Romanian philosopher and professor. So, I’m the problem! Me and my dumb-dumb walnut brain.

7. Every Time I Go on Vacation, Someone Dies by Catherine Mack

What. Oof. OFC this is being turned into a TV series. The worst books always are.

8. 13 Months Haunted by Jimmy Juliano

Not bad! I wasn’t creeped out too much but it was an interesting plot and I loved all of the late 90s/early 00s Internet throwbacks. It made me so nostalgic!

9. Maggie; or, A Man and a Woman Walk Into a Bar by Katie Yee

I really wanted to love this but it was too stream-of-conscious-y for me, like reading a series of LiveJournal posts, albeit thoughtful and well-written. Woman gets told by husband that he’s having an affair and wants to leave her, then she gets breast cancer, and somehow expresses absolutely no anger.

10. Too Old for This by Samantha Downing

Super far-fetched but had several LOL moments. I just wanted her to be able to fucking sit down and rest!

11. How Can I Help You by Laura Sims

A former killer nurse gets a job as a librarian. Everything is fine until a new person is hired, and she happens to be an aspiring writer with great observation skills. It was alright.

12. Play Nice by Rachel Harrison

OMG YES. 5 STARS. GAGGED.  I fucking adored this. Rachel Harrison is totally my style with the way she writes her dialogue and the personality she pumps into her characters makes the whole thing come to life in my head. This book took precedence over everything else in my life during the few days I was reading it. I actually got legit scared two nights ago when I was reading it in bed before going to sleep – it was one of those, “JUST ONE MORE CHAPTER AND THEN I’LL TURN OFF THE LIGHT, GET OVER YOURSELF, HENRY!!” moments where I did NOT want to stop reading – and I fucking swear to god I heard movement downstairs and kept whispering DID YOU HEAR THAT to Henry, who had already fallen asleep. I don’t know why he bitches about the light being on when he’s just going to fall asleep anyway, motherfucker used to nap at Warped Tour for god’s sake.

Last night, I was brushing my teeth and a towel slowly fell off the hook behind me and made me scream and practically deep-throat my toothbrush, so that was great.

And this morning I was taking a shower and became acutely aware of the fact that I was home alone and it was still dark outside.

I loved that at the heart of this book though was an INTENSE family drama. And lots of trauma. Grief. Regret. While still making me laugh!!

Yeah, this book checked all the boxes for me. My favorite Rachel Harrison book so far!

No intro.

1. Atmosphere by Taylor Jenkins Reid

3.5? I loved the characters, loved that it was set in the 80s, loved that it wasn’t TOO spacey because I hate outer space shit, but the end felt a bit rushed. I did get pretty choked up at times because TJR has a way of writing characters that feel so feel (with the exception of Malibu Rising – I hated everyone in that book and it was, imo, trash).

2. You Shouldn’t Have Come Here by Jeneva Rose

I love this author as a person – her instagram cracks me up and makes me smile – but she is very hit or miss with her books. I didn’t enjoy this. Someone’s review on Goodreads was “You Shouldn’t Have Read This” and IJBOL’d because I really felt that! Yeah, this one is very skippable. I read the shitty books so you don’t have to, I guess.

4. The French Honeymoon by Anne-Sophie Jouhanneau

2 stars. Not a fan.

5. Strange Pictures by Uketsu

YOOOOO. Finally! A 5 star horror! Totally unique, chilling, and exceptionally fun to read! Japanese horror is always such a wild ride.

If you’re an audio book aficionado, try to get a physical copy too because there are pictures!

6. Five-Star Stranger by Kat Tang

4 stars for me but this got some big mixed reviews and people were pissed about the little girl but…it’s a fucking book, you guys. Basically, this dude can be rented out to fulfil various purposes – like a date to a wedding. He has a few gigs that he’s juggling but the most insane one is where he pretends to be the dad of a young girl once a week – she thinks he’s an OTR truck driver. Things get messy. It was entertaining and fascinating, COME AT ME.

7. A Simple Favor by Darcey Bell

After I finished this TERRIBLE book, I realized that I read another of her books and gave it a 1 Star – wish I had remembered that so I could have avoided this one! And OF COURSE it was made into a movie with fucking Anna Kendrick (barf) and Blake Lively (my Anna Kendrick barf is barfing).  The funniest thing is that I can’t think of a single thing that happened in this crappy book.

OH OK, I read the synopsis and now I remember that I was listening to the audio book of this when I was doing Japanese walking for the first time in Jefferson Memorial.

8. Queen B by Juno Dawson

A novella set in the 1600s, featuring Anne Boleyn. For as short as it was, it felt like it was dragging on. I loved the HRMC series though and thought this would tide me over while waiting for the third installment but it was just OK.

9. We Won’t All Survive by Kate Alice Marshall

1 star, so bad. Avoid at all costs.

10. The Golden Couple by Greer Hendricks

This is split between the wife of a couple in therapy, and the therapist (actually unlicensed). Loved the chapters with the marriage counselor. The wife was so boring. It was a decent domestic thriller though, would have made a good plane read.

11. If Something Happens to Me by Alex Finlay

OK! I have read some shitty books by this guy but I genuinely liked this one. It was pretty wild and I audibly gasped when the storylines came together. Super entertaining and I found myself going on extra walks so I could keep listening to the audiobook. So, good for the health, too! You got me, Mr, Finlay!

12. Blob: A Love Story by Maggie Su

Fucking weird and just what I needed. Downtrodden, recently dumped college dropout Vi finds a blob outside of a bar, takes it home, feeds it cereal, it becomes sentient. Hijinks ensure while we get a good look at why Vi is the way she is through vignettes of her childhood. It made me uncomfy and I loved that for me.

_______________________

bye bye bye buhubuhbuhubye.

July seems forever ago. And so do these books.

1. The Last Time I Lied by Riley Sager

Somehow, I skipped over this old Riley Sager book but now I have finally read every single of his novels, for better or worse. This one was not one of the best but not one of the worst. I have never read from a more inconsistent author, ISTFG.

2. Rainbow Black by Maggie Thrash

I saw “Satanic Panic” and “gay international-fugitive love story” and was all in. But this 100% did not deliver. It was extremely long and drawn out but SHOULD have been a higher rated book for me because while a dark and traumatic subject, it was written with humor and sharp sarcasm. But the story itself did not hold up to its end of the bargain. Good dialogue writing will only get you so far.

3. Saltwater by Katy Hays

I LOVED THIS BOOK. EVERYTHING ABOUT IT. I only rated it a 4 on Goodreads but looking back on it, the fact that it’s stuck with me, made me crave revisiting Italy, and was full of characters that seemed real and fleshed-out to me – maybe this should have been a five. Especially because I would recommend it to anyone. Props to Megan who actually left me her library copy of this while I was cat-sitting for her, because she still had time left on it and knows I’m a fast reader, because this wasn’t on my radar and honestly – the cover isn’t something that would ever convince me to pick it up.

4. Victorian Psycho by Virginia Feito

Another 4-star! This was twisted and I loved every fucking page. A book that can me laugh out loud *and* want to vomit? Yep. This author is right up my alley. My Goodreads review: “Jesus. Lol.”

5. Piglet by Lottie Hazell

And another 4-star! July treated me well. This was another book with a protagonist full of neuroses and it sucked me right in. Trigger warning for people with disordered eating and that people is me. Very tough for me at times but worth it. Great writing. Justice for Piglet.

6. The Guilt Pill: A Psychological Thriller of Motherhood and Ambition by Saumya Dave

2 stars. Total snooze and a waste of an eye-catching cover.

7. The Better Liar by Tanen Jones

3 stars – a middle of the road domestic thriller. It kept me interested but I’m not screaming about it from the rooftop.

8. If an Egyptian Cannot Speak English by Noor Naga

OH! This was INTRIGUING. I loved the style of this writing. Totally invested. I just wish it had provided a bit more descriptions of Cairo. 4.5 – it resonated with me big time. The ending truly caught me off guard too.

9. Bel Canto by Ann Patchett

OK hear me out. I love Ann Patchett. Especially Dutch House which was beyond 5 stars in my heart. But this….oof. I ultimately gave it a 3 but there were many, many, many times I considered DNFing. It took so long for anything to happen. So mundane. The opera singer was one of the most cardboard cutout characters I’ve ever been forced to read about in a novel. I did not give a single shit about her. It did pick up eventually only to have one of the worst and most disappointing endings of any book I’ve read. I can’t recommend this one.

10. Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me by Mariko Tamaki

Oh, go fuck yourself, Laura Dean. HONESTLY!

A bad month of books, chosen very poorly by me. I am really going to keep this one short n’ sweet.

1. The Wife’s Silence by Amanda McKinney

The fact that I don’t even remember reading this is all you need to know.

2. Long Time Gone by Charlie Donlea

A mid but mildly entertaining thriller.

3. Careless People: A Cautionary Tale of Power, Greed, and Lost Idealism by Sarah Wynn-Williams

If you don’t already hate Facebook, you will after you read this memoir about Sarah’s stint working closely with Mark Zuckerberg and Sheryl Sandberg (who is a FUCKING WEIRDO, btw). There is a lot of intricate detailing about government and political policies that made me want to start snoozing but overall, it was a dish-y peek into the high-level happenings within FB. And it made me fucking sick. 8 years off Facebook and still no regertz!

Also, Mark and Co. really didn’t want this book to see the light of day, which is all the more reason for everyone to read it and give it a good rating! Boost this shit up!

4. The Secrets We Buried by Becca Day

2 stars. Boring. Hoopla almost always lets me down when I’m looking for an “in-between” audio book to keep me company on my walks. This was so lame and forgettable.

5. The Perfect Divorce (Perfect, #2) by Jeneva Rose

I love Jeneva Rose as a person – her Instagram content is so funny and real! And while I loved  The Perfect Marriage, it truly didn’t need this sequel. Also, I could barely remember how the first one ended! This was skippable.

6. The Last Time I Lied by Riley Sager

Apparently, this was the only Sager backlog that I hadn’t read so I figured I owed it to myself even though I am so love/hate with his books. This was an older one and actually not too bad. A godo summertime read, with its summer camp setting. It didn’t blow me away, but I was entertained.

7. Vanishing World by Sayaka Murata

My least favorite Murata book so far :( I’m usually so ready for her to fuck me up – and oh boy, did she ever – but this one didn’t have the fun, rompy element to it that I was craving. I…legitimately don’t know how to rate this. That ending…she really went there. And like, way worse than in the DeGrassi sense, lol.

There are so many trigger warnings – I would suggest looking them up.

8. The Manor of Dreams by Christina Li

A gothic horror with a Chinese flair. Very atmospheric. Haunted house. Feuding families. It wasn’t scary, but it did make me sad. Should I write book reviews professionally or what.

9. When the Wolf Comes Home by Nat Cassidy

Disgusting. Legitimately scary. LAUGH OUT LOUD FUNNY. Sad. Nat Cassidy is a master of modern horror and I am obsessed with him. This was the one solid, 5 star, loved it to death book that I read all month. It was like going on an adventure. And good lord, another phenomenal afterword. DO NOT SKIP HIS AFTERWORDS!! Nat Cassidy is a treasure.

10. #CrimeTime by Jeneva Rose

OK THIS is the Jeneva Rose I love. This was so much fun! An audio original, written with her husband, with a full cast. Super entertaining. Fast-paced. I adored this. I hope they do more of these! (It got VERY mixed reviews on Goodreads though.)

No intro.

1. Love, Pamela by Pamela Anderson

I actually read this on 4/30 but left it off of my April round-up by accident. This was fine – I listened to the audio and I do genuinely like Pamela. I was hoping for some more Hollywood dishing I guess but overall it did leave me with even more respect and admiration for her. Her childhood was…yikes.

2. What Does It Feel Like? by Sophie Kinsella

I grabbed this from the library because I wanted something quick to read and had no idea that it was loosely based on the author’s own experience with a brain tumor and having to essentially re-learn everything each day. Somehow this was still pretty light, considering.

3. Witchcraft for Wayward Girls by Grady Hendrix

I will say that it was a risky move for a man to write a book about teenage pregnancy in the 70s but I think he kind of pulled it off. The problem is that it was just kind of boring. And it felt VERY long.

4. Great Big Beautiful Life by Emily Henry

I am so sorry to say that I am falling out of love with Emily Henry. After a while, the novelty wears out and you’re able to really see that the author just keeps recycling characters, tropes, finger-snapping banter. It really worked for me for the first few books but this was actually kind of dreadful and I HATED the story-within-the-story. HATED IT. It was so boring and tedious, and also, the main characters fall in love almost immediately and it wasn’t believable at all to me. Yeah, there’s a twist but by then IDGAF.

My Goodreads review: This was…bad :/ I have loved so many Emily Henry books but after a while it’s just the same characters over and over. Quirky NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS protagonist; surly, serious YOU WONT KNOCK DOWN MY WALLS man. Not working for me anymore. At least not for this one.

5. Has Anyone Seen Charlotte Salter by Nicci French

I usually love this married writing duos’ books but this was another one that was entirely boring for most of the first part and then by the time it picked up and we find out if anyone has seen the bitch, I didn’t care.

6. One of Us Is Dead by Jeneva Rose

Light, upbeat book about nasty rich wives and the woman who takes care of them in her salon. Then it turns VERY dark. I liked it – not too deep but just plain entertaining and sassy.

7. The Resting Place by Camilla Sten

Eh. Not as good as the Lost Village, which she also wrote.

8. What Happened to Nina? by Dervla McTiernan

If you followed the Gabby Petito investigation, then you can probably skip this because it’s very clearly loosely based off that. Nothing was very shocking here BUT it was still an entertaining listen while I was on my walks and that’s my only criteria for audio books.

9. Run for the Hills by Kevin Wilson

I loved Nothing to See Here and now this is the second book of his that I read after that has disappointed me. It did not engage me, not a single character, and in fact the only good thing that came of it was that there was a reference to one of the characters wanting to film their siblings in profile and then I started picturing me, Henry and Chooch in profile and somehow that morphed into me coming home from a walk and screaming, “I FINALLY HAVE AN IDEA FOR A CHRISTMAS CARD AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!” and Henry was like, “It’s….May.”

10.The Winner by Teddy Wayne

There’s a review on Goodreads that says simply, “Only a man could have written this” and I have nothing else to say except: laden with misogyny.

11. My Friends by Fredrik Backman

But nothing else I read all month matters because THIS. THIS!!!!!!!

Another 5-star from Backman. Not Beartown-tier, but still a five. HOW does he write such broken, imperfect and lovable characters. I felt for every single person in this book. I cried so much. I had to actually stop reading it Saturday morning because we were meeting my sister for lunch later and I was crying all of my makeup off. I don’t know how to articulate it, but his books are so comforting to me and also fill my heart with so much sadness simultaneously.

Bye.

Why does it feel like April was so long ago, yet it seems not right that we’re already in May. Time gets weirder the older you get, I swear to GD. Anyway, I keep telling myself that I am not going to get lost in the weeds in my feeble attempts to craft concise reviews because let’s face it: a book reviewer I am not. So, I’m aiming for 2 or less sentences, maybe even just one word if it was that mid.

1. Serial Killer Support Group by Saratoga Schaefer

This wasn’t on my radar at all but I needed something to listen to on my morning walks. Interesting premise of a woman infiltrating a support group for serial killers in an effort to find her sister’s killer. Slightly predictable but still a good time.

2. Listen to Your Sister by Neena Viel

I saw this compared to Jordan Peele and I could 100% see him adapting this into his next great Black horror film. It was YA but seriously filled with vivid, gory imagery and really shone a creepy, red light on the real life horror everyday can be for Black kids.

3. Evenings and Weekends by Oisín McKenna

This was fine but the “for fans of Sally Rooney” should have tipped me off that this was going to be a big book about nothing filled with a cast of annoying, wayward 20-somethings in London. It was practically DARING me to care about any of them and I definitely didn’t win.

4. Bury Your Gays by Chuck Tingle

DUDE, YESSIR. This is the horror I came for. 4 solid stars, witty writing, super fucking creepy vibes. I bet the audio book slaps, but I just read this the old-fashioned way. ALSO, THE COVER.

5. All the Missing Pieces by Catherine Cowles

SO.BAD. I didn’t know this was ROMANCE, I thought it was a mystery about a podcaster trying to solve her sister’s murder but then there’s some gruff and grumpy small town sheriff that IMMEDIATELY FALLS IN LOVE WITH HER and his chapters are so gross. I have never heard so many descriptions of eyes “flashing.” WTF DOES THAT EVEN MEAN. HE WAS OBSESSED WITH HER “FLASHING EYES.” Also, I hated the narrator for the sheriff’s chapters. Oh god I hated this book so much. SOMETIMES IT REALLY DOES PAY TO READ THE FULL SYNOPSIS, ERIN.

6. I See You’ve Called in Dead by John Kenney

Five solid stars. I cannot recommend this book enough. It has set up camp inside my heart and will probably stay there until the coyotes find it and tear it apart, I don’t know what I’m saying because now I’m thinking about this book, the characters, the writing, the plot, the beauty and perfection of it all. I need to read everything John Kenney writes now.

7. Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle

Not as good as the other Tingle book, but this was a pretty solid LGBTQ horror. It kind of read more as YA to me, ngl, but still great nonetheless. And can we also pause to appreciate the author’s book jacket pic?

8. No Place Left to Hide by Megan Lally

Speaking of YA – this one just hit, I can’t explain it. I loved her other book, That’s Not My Name, as well, and this one was just as fun, great twist, unlikable protagonist.

9. The Wolf and the Watchman by Niklas Natt och Dag

Dude, I dunno how this ended up on my TBR but I apparently requested it from the library, read the synopsis when I got home, thought, “Why did I request this book? I’m going to hate this!” and then by the middle of the first chapter I was hooked. It’s historical fiction (1793 Stockholm) and I know NOTHING about this time of history. But! It has an element of horror to it, it’s macabre, it’s gory, it’s dirty, and the characters pop off the pages. I gave it five stars. I have to gear myself up to read the rest of the books now because I believe this is a series. but I will tell you now that Winge and Cardell are two of my favorite fictional characters now.

10. The Next Mrs. Parrish (Mrs. Parrish, #2) by Liv Constantine

But did anyone ask for a sequel? Mid. I rooted for no one. Also, there’s a diamond story line that is so fucking cringey and if I wanted that kind of absurdly unbelievable plot, I’d watch Days of Our Lives, ok Liv?

That’s all, you’re dismissed.

March was a bit better in terms of refreshing books that made me feel stoked to wake up the next day and dive back in. I love that feeling!

1. I Might Be in Trouble by Daniel Aleman

This was pretty funny – a struggling writer gets himself in a pickle and with the help of his hilariously sassy agent, this turns into some bizarre Weekend at Bernie’s type of scramble. I had fun reading this one and would be interested in reading more from this guy!

2. The Wedding People by Alison Espach

I did not enjoy another book I had recently read by this author but several of my friends had raved about her newest one; I succumbed to peer pressure as one does. And thank god because this was FANTASTIC. I went into it knowing NOTHING about the synopsis and I think that is best so I will let you click the Goodreads link up there if you really want to know. But the reason I gave this a 4.5 is simple: THE CHARACTERS POPPED OFF THE PAGE. I wanted so badly to be there with them. Quirky, heartwarming without being corny, a REALISTIC ENDING. I loved every page of this book and I think it will be sticking with me for quite some time. Definitely recommend!

3. Famous Last Words by Gillian McAllister

I gave this thriller a 3 but only because her other books were better, IMO. The author describes it as “a love story set in a hostage situation.” OK, sure. It was definitely a unique plot but I couldn’t connect. Basically, this broad wakes up and her husband is gone and then she finds out he has a bunch of people held hostage in a warehouse and then escapes the police. I did enjoy it, you just really have to suspend disbelief.

4. The Author’s Guide to Murder by Beatriz Williams

Corny. Next.

5. Butter by Asako Yuzuki

Usually, Japanese novels about murder really do it for me, but this one made me feel like I was reading something for a Feminism elective in community college. I could barely get through it, even after switching to audio. The blurb is “The cult Japanese bestseller about a female gourmet cook and serial killer and the journalist intent on cracking her case, inspired by a true story.” Sounds intriguing!! Sadly, not for me, fam.

6. Deep Cuts by Holly Brickley

If you love music like I love music, especially in the snobby sense, then you will love this. I lowkey didn’t like the protagonist, Percy, but it somehow didn’t deter from the actual reading experience for me.

7. Guillotine by Delilah S. Dawson

I needed an audiobook for my daily walks and this one caught my eye on Hoopla. It was fast-paced and a fun read. The Goodreads blurb says “The Menu meets Ready of Not” and I fully endorse this summary.

8. The English Teacher by Lily King

My third (?) Lily King novel. I REALLY like her writing. Her characters always feel like real people to me, too, going through actual hardships. The protagonist here is not very likable on purpose but you understand why she is the way she is because King has written her character so exquisitely. I really can’t say enough good things about Lily King.

9. The Favorites by Layne Fargo

The fact that I couldn’t even remember what this was right away….lol. I thought it was fine, it kept my attention even though I’m not necessarily a figure skate aficionado. It did kind of feel like a dollar store version of a Taylor Jenkins Reid book though in that it’s written in both story-form and through interviews / news reports. I would say pick up Carrie Soto Is Back by Reid instead if you’re into dramatic female-fronted sports comeback stories. This one kind of fell flat for me – for a while there I was certain that there was some underlying murder that was going to rear its head and flip the narrative but nope. It didn’t really feel like there was much of a pay-off here.

10. I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokbokki by Baek Se-hee

Hashtag relatable. This wasn’t an entertaining book by any means, it was very clinical and dry, but holy shit I felt like it was written about me. Also, same bestie – tteokbokki gives me the will to keep on keepin’ on, too.

11. Beautiful Ugly by Alice Feeney

Two fuckin’ stars. Alice Feeney, you failed me again. I swear, she gave me one solid 5-star with Daisy Darker and everything else has been swill in a barrel.

This was so stupid, unreal, preposterous, no tension. The best part was the dog!!!

12. The Haar by David Sodergren

Yes. YES! A solid, sick, gory, horror story but also one that was full of love and life. Sentimental horror. I had this on audio and was almost done with it when we took Chooch back to Philly after spring break and I just couldn’t wait any longer so I asked Henry if he minded if I put it on in the car (I didn’t have my headphones) – lol like it really mattered to me if he minded or not. Anyway, he was like, “WHAT is this??” after quietly listening about a sea blob thing devouring shitty men in very explicit detail. But this just felt like a love story to me more than anything and I was so there for it.

13. This Book Will Bury Me by Ashley Winstead

Winstead’s debut novel was such a solid 5 for me and then everything after was shit (IMO, anyway). But this one finally brought me back on board. College student becomes obsessed with a true crime message board after the death (natural causes, not murder) of her father. I gave this 4 stars for the entertainment value – it was a page-turner – but it still had a lot of faults like being obviously based on the recent U.of Idaho murders. I did enjoy the found family aspect, but unless I’m missing something, I didn’t really care much for the parts that circled back to her dead dad.

Actually, now that I’m revisiting this from a distance, I’m realizing that there were many flaws but this was STILL better than her other post-In My Dreams I Hold a Knife novels. I think I would still recommend it. I’m tired, lol.

And that’s it for March! I’m so great at talking about books! Invite me to your book club! :/

February feels like a lifetime ago and I am looking at this list like, “I read these books?” To be fair, I had a lingering fever for like 2 weeks so who knows what was going on.

1. Society of Lies by Lauren Ling Brown

Dark academia and one that I actually liked. Dual timelines and POVs. As with all dark academia, it was very far-fetched but also, I didn’t go an Ivy with secret societies so who am I to say that disbelief must be suspended? Chooch has a frenemy from high school who goes to Princeton and I want him to ask her if she knows anything, lol.

Anyway, this follows two sisters – one is a Princeton alum, the other is a current student – and I admittedly kept getting the timelines crossed. The younger sister uncovers a scandal within the most secretest of all the secret societies and then ends up murdered.

  2. Darkly by Marisha Pessl

This was alright but there were a lot of times when it wasn’t holding my attention and just honestly made me want to go back and read The Westing Game instead. I am a firm believer that YA books can be enjoyed by all but this one missed the mark for me. I probably would have loved this as a kid though.

3. We Could Be Rats by Emily R. Austin

I’m going to be honest here, I gave this an alleged 4 star rating on Goodreads and cannot for the life remember a single word of this book. February was such a crazy month. But OMG this book cover tho.

4. How to End a Love Story by Yulin Kuang

OK this I do remember reading and I know that I disliked it immensely. Girl falls in love with the guy who accidentally vehicular manslaughtered her suicidal sister in high school. I felt no emotional connection to anyone in this book. Also, love story? Bitch where.

5. Same As It Ever Was by Claire Lombardo

OK, this one was weird. I very much high-key hated this book. The main character was insufferable (also I feel like I had no idea what she looked like either) and has some bizarre secret friendship with a woman who could be her mother and I guess on some level I get that aspect because I have constantly befriended surrogate mom-types through my whole adult life since I don’t really have a mom who acts like a mom.

But this book just went on and on for a million pages and I was so disgusted at every turn. And then the very last several pages hit me like a freight train and I felt like I was done so dirty. 

Because this was able to touch a nerve and evoke emotions at the end, I gave it a 3.

6. The Trunk – Kim Ryeo-ryeon

One of the few Korean novels that I haven’t liked very much. I wanted to read this because it was adapted into a K-Drama with one of my favorite actors but after reading this book, I am really confused about how they were able to drag this out into a 16 episode series?? I haven’t watched it yet and now I don’t know if I will because legit nothing happened in this book. The main character works at this matchmaking company that has a secret marriage division so she’s basically a wife-for-hire for the wealthiest of the clients. You could imagine all the different directions this story could take but it was just like one long flat-line with no pay-off.

7. The Rom-Commers by Katherine Center

Mid.

8. Keep It in the Family by John Marrs

Mid x2. This was actually just ridiculous. I think my standards for thrillers have just gotten to be too high so this sounds like a me problem. I can admit that.

9. A Killing Cold by Kate Alice Marshall

This one was OK but I have read much better from this author and expected more. Rich family with dirty secrets, secluded and private family cabins in the winter, protagonist who can’t remember where she came from…it was decent but forgettable. Also, the “connection” between the main character and her fiancé was not believable to me.

10. Big in Sweden by Sally Franson

Beautiful and quirky cover! Narrated by Meg Ryan! Set in Sweden! Too bad none of those things were enough. I admittedly only picked this up because I was feeling nostalgic for Sweden but this didn’t scratch the itch. A trip  to Ikea would have been better. The main character is just insufferable and sorry Meg, but not even your voice could make me like her. Basically this broad wins a spot on some family tree reality show but it turns out to be like MTV/Road Rules the Challenge, but make it Swedish with the main point being that the Swedes love to watch the Americans cry.

And then the winner gets to connect with their Swedish family.

It was a miss for me, fam. Maybe if I had read this on a plane or something, it would have had a better effect on me, but a cold February at home in Pittsburgh somehow managed to provide the exact opposite of escapism.

the end.

Hey. I started off the new year pretty strong. Let’s recap SHALL WE.

1. Parasol Against the Axe by Helen Oyeyemi

This wasn’t my FAVE Oyeyemi book but it was still brilliant enough to keep her firmly planted at the top of my favorite author list. I don’t know how she writes these things, they are so quirky, smart, brain-bending, full of WTF. This is a weird one because I love her bizarre and insane writing style so much but there was a book-within-the-book going on here and I didn’t like those parts at all. But the present-day narrative was chef’s kiss – unhinged, smart, and thoroughly confusing as always.

There was a line that went like “my skull was full of souffle” and that is exactly how this book (any of her books!) made me feel, like CrossFit for the brain.  You gotta be prepared to put in the work, this book isn’t going to read itself to you.

2. High Fidelity by Nick Hornby

I mean, you know this book, or the movie, or the TV show. It was a solid read.

3. How to Kill Men and Get Away With It by Katy Brent

This was fun, especially if you hate men and believe me, I do. But it also wasn’t very unique or revolutionary. I have read better “female serial killer” books but this one was still a fun and quick read.

4. Howl’s Moving Castle (Howl’s Moving Castle, #1) by Diana Wynne Jones

I mean I must be broken because I only thought this was just OK and there is an entire sector of society out there who probably want to string me up for not having a glowing review.

I tried reading this years ago and was bored. Then this time around, I listened to the audio and was still not entertained. I will say though that I have NOT watched the animated film adaptation but it’s Japanese so already I feel like it’s gotta be better than the book.

5. The Reappearance of Rachel Price by Holly Jackson

Actually kind of wild for a YA mystery. I didn’t LOVE it, but it was like, the fuck is going on this is so far-fetched, what??

6. Love Interest by Clare Gilmore

OK so hear me out. The man character was Korean American so there would be like, Korean words and references thrown about here and there which makes me hope that the author either has a vested interest in Korea or has some relation to Korea so I will give her that but the narrator was BOTCHING it up big time. I was cringing every time she fuck up a Korean word like it was his first run-through, no going back.

Also, she pronounced subsidiary as “SUB-si-dairy” instead of “sub-SID-iary” which got under my skin because in my job, we were talking about subs A LOT and everyone uses the latter pronunciation.

Also x2 this book was just boring and I was not having any feels whatsoever.

7. Shiver: Selected Stories by Junji Ito

HELL YEAH. This has been on my TBR for years and I finally picked it up from the library. I loved almost every story, they were so creepy and affective, but “greased” seriously almost made me throw up it was so disgusting. I loved it.

8. Graveyard Shift by M.L. Rio

No. This was just bad. Worse than mid.

9. The Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley

OK I enjoyed this way more than I thought I would being sci-fi adjacent I guess and while it remains true that as with most books in that genre, I oftentimes had NO IDEA what was going on, I genuinely loved the characters, their development, their relationships. It was a wild and inventive premise too, Bill & Ted’ish in that random people from the past are brought to the present day. Hilarity ensues.

10. Bottled Goods by Sophie van Llewyn

We are planning a Romania trip later this summer (this is pathetic but we can’t officially book our flight until I know when G-Dragon is touring the US lol) so I have been trying to add some Romanian novels to my TBR to help aid me in getting stoked. I LOVED THIS ONE. It had a bit of magical realism in it but mostly portrayed life in Communist Romania which I admittedly do not know much about so it provided a great historical bent as well.

I really enjoyed this one!

11. Sky Full of Elephants by Cebo Campbell

OK wow another sci fi, who is she. Anyway, this was fascinating – one day, almost all of the white people walk to the nearest body of water and drown themselves and now POC are running a post-racial America. There aren’t any zombies in this but it did give me some The Walking Dead vibes where you have a group of people trying to get to “the Kingdom.”

I really enjoyed this but I couldn’t stand the main character’s 19yo daughter. She was such a fucking brat and her chapters were a drag.

12.Things Don’t Break on Their Own by Sarah Easter Collins

My friend Lindsey recommended this one to me and it was a solid 5 stars, brother. The mystery / thriller element was such a page-turner but the characters. Robyn’s parents. The old lady in the house. The shit Willa endured. The HOLY SHIT moment at the dinner party. This book was so rich with trauma and palpable pain, but also so much love between friends. I loved it so much, every page of it.

13. The Pairing by Casey McQuiston

But then I read this next and it was sooooo bad. I have loved her books in the past but this was just actual trash and I did not care about either person. The European food tour aspect of it wasn’t even enough to redeem it – usually books like that will poke at my wanderlust and it will make the rest of the shit tolerable but this was, as I said, trash. I didn’t care why these people broke up and I didn’t care if they were going to get back together. In fact, I was kind of hoping they would both die. At least Theo. I hated them so much. Wah wah wah.

14. The Third Gilmore Girl by Kelly Bishop

I mean…come on. It’s Kelly freaking Bishop. I admittedly did not know much about her outside of the Gilmore Girls realm but wow has she lived a life. I love memoirs.

*****************

OK bye for now!

Hey-o, I read 157 books in 2024. Goodreads tells me that I gave 14 of those a 5-star rating but looking at that list, I’m not sure how strongly I feel about some of those. I pared them down to 5 that I would confidently recommend to friends and would happily buy a hardback copy for my own collection some day if I ever have room for books ugh.

I just really, sincerely loved this book with my whole heart. Great dialogue, bright characters, a compelling plot. I was tense and also laughing out loud more times than I could keep track of. I would recommend this to either someone who doesn’t read books regularly because it’s a freaking easy read and page-turner, someone in a reading slump, and someone who liked picturing young Bruce Willis as a main character because that is where my mind immediately went from the very start of this book. Blue-collar Bruce Willis trying to save his daughter.

This one broke me.

A horror novel that is actually scary because it’s based on real life events in Jim Crowe Florida. Haunting. Brutal. It will rip your heart out. Recommended only to people who can handle painful and heavy narrative. It is a horror novel but the scariest parts are the things that the living do to the living. This book will live in my head forever.

A sprawling, vivid, surreal Korean tale, and another one that was painful and hard to read at times because of the brutality – especially toward women.

But Jesus, I am so glad I picked this up because the pay-off was huge. I don’t know who I would recommend this to and am honestly not sure if I would have even considered it if I weren’t already into Korean culture. But there is something about Korean novels – IYKYK. If you’re looking for an epic novel that will transport you to someplace violently magical chockful of trigger warnings, then give this one a shot lol.

In a nutshell, this is an epic family drama spanning several generations. 

I was completely invested in every generational POV, my favorite being the one set in the late 90s. There’s also a little bit of magical realism in this which caught me off guard. I think I would recommend this to anyone, really. It’s just that solid.

I was still very freshly mourning the death of my cat Drew when I read this.  It was irreverent and LOL funny, exactly what I needed to keep me from cannon-balling off a parking garage in Chicago. Such a sad sack of a protagonist and I wanted nothing but the best for him. The writing was fresh and smart – would have made me jealous if I still even slightly considered myself a “writer.” Let me just say that I don’t follow many authors on Instagram but I immediately started following Gene Kwak after I read this. Funny, awkward, painful, and uncomfortable encounters; a VERY WTF swimming pool scene; a mother/son road trip; an underlying theme of identity crisis – this book has it all. Ricky is a character I won’t soon forget.  I don’t know who I would specifically recommend this to. You, I guess.

Your turn! Lay your 5 star reads on me.

Wow, that title was lame even for me. Please accept my apologies.

Anyway, I read these books in December while counting down the end of a shitty year.

1. Eight Hundred Grapes – Laura Dave

I was double-fisting the Laura Dave to kick off December. I remember really enjoying her novel “The Last Thing He Told Me” and saw that she has a new one out, so I started to read that AND THEN I saw that the audio for this one was available on Hoopla. It’s an older one and I thought it was just OK. Probably just because it was giving the TV show Brothers & Sisters vibes because of the family vineyard story line. It was a lot of family drama, small town characters, runaway bride with little pay off. Also, I made the mistake of reading a review where someone pointed out that she writes in fragments a lot of the time and then I couldn’t stop noticing that, like she learned how to write from LiveJournal in 2001. Not the worst book but I would only recommend as maybe an option for a flight or train ride, I don’t know. This is not my profession.

2. The Night We Lost Him – Laura Dave

This is the new one and it was better – way more mystery vibes. I wouldn’t go as far as calling it a thriller. I was very invested in this for the first half and then it did lose steam for me. I couldn’t connect well with the main character and as such it turned into a “figure it out or don’t, I don’t really care” type of read for a bit but I was back into it by the end and glad that I stuck it out.

3. Heads Will Roll – Josh Winning

Even after re-reading the synopsis, I couldn’t remember actually reading this book at first?! But now I remember and it was decent – better than his other book, Burn the Negative. It has a “summer camp for adults who need to detox from social media” kind of plot, but of course there’s a killer in the woods gunning for all of them. Now that I’m remembering this book, I can confirm that there were times when I was genuinely creeped out by the imagery but I did think all of the characters were extremely corny and written as caricatures. And when we finally find out why the main character was “cancelled,” it was kind of anticlimactic.

4. A Good Happy Girl – Marissa Higgins

I gave this a 2. This whole unhinged and confused single girl in her 20s trope is wearing on me. Also, I’m 45 and not single (albeit unhinged and confused) so I am definitely not the target audience here but I have liked books from this niche genre in the past. This one is mostly about a depressed woman trying to fill a void by being the third wheel in a lesbian couple’s marriage and it is so uncomfortable and actually gross a lot of the time, to be honest, and I have a pretty high tolerance for reading about kinks, etc. I should have known from the cover, tbh.

5. Lula Dean’s Little Library of Banned Books – Kirsten Miller

Entertaining and with a message! I thoroughly enjoyed this one. The characters were rich and real, I was rooting for the good guys so hard, swearing at the racist bigots, and laughing out loud at the absolute havoc this little library was creating around town. This one I do recommend.

6. Heartstopper Vol. 5 – Alice Oseman

The Netflix show has kind of gotten on my nerves, but this book series is still so solid. I  think it would have been semi-life changing if it had been available when I was a kid.

7. Mr. Fox – Helen Oyeyemi

4.5. God, I love Helen Oyeyemi with my whole heart. The things she does with the English language is ABSURD. SORCERY. Sometimes I think she is an absolute psychopath. I can’t explain it – you just have to read one of her books to understand and godspeed if you do. The first time I read a book by her, I thought I hated it until it occurred to me that I just hated how stupid it made me feel, but not in a dark academia sense. You have to go into her books with the understanding that it will stretch your brain like laffy taffy, it will make you yell WHAT AM I READING, and it will be so rewarding in the end. As someone who admittedly spends too much time doom-scrolling, every Oyeyemi book is like a reset for my mind. It reminds me that at one time, I was kind of smart. I was good at English. I liked to read challenging things.

8. Perfume & Pain – Anna Dorn

Unlike that “A Good Happy Girl’ trash I read earlier in the month (which comes up as “readers also enjoyed” for this book on Goodreads LOL), this one did it for me enough that I gave it a 3. I had fun reading it, I rooted for Astrid and wanted so badly for her to get her life back on track. I loved the cast of characters she had orbiting her. Plus, the cover speaks to me. This would have been a good vacation book.

9. Rental House – Weike Wang

This is the second book of Wang’s that I’ve read and they both have a similar disassociated kind of vibe going on with the main character. Keru was pretty unlikable (I mean, even the dog prefers the husband over her) but I still just wanted good things for her. There really isn’t much of a plot to talk about – it starts with a married couple sharing a rental house with both sets of parents during the pandemic – Keru’s Chinese parents come for the first half and Nate’s white / American parents come the second half and the atmosphere is very different for both but the universal sense of OVERBEARING INLAWS is the same.

The second half of the book finds the couple several years later renting another vacation house and having strange interactions with a family of three in the house next door and then an unexpected family visitor. It was actually pretty stressful. I don’t know that I would actively recommend this to anyone but I did give it a 4.

10. The Midnight Feast – Lucy Foley

Truthfully, I could not follow along with this. Between mixing up the characters and a general ambivalence toward the story itself, I have realized that it’s time to put Foley on my DNR list because all of her books up until now have been major wastes of time for me. I even tried the audio and that was somehow worse. Hated it.

11. Greta & Valdin – Rebecca K. Reilly 

A boring book about two siblings who are roommates and the brother is obsessed with his ex-boyfriend who is also the brother of some guy married to his uncle or something?! You know it’s going to be bad when the book starts with a literal WHO’S WHO and some of the characters inexplicably have the same name.

The only parts I liked was when Romania was referenced here and there.

12. Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance – Alison Espach

So….I only read this because I’m waiting for the library to get her new book The Wedding People which has been very buzzworthy of late and some of my friends have rated it highly. Now I’m nervous because I lowkey hated this book. I gave it 1 star for the sheer amount of times I rolled my eyes. It’s narrated by the younger sister of the girl who “disappeared,” and it starts in elementary school and works its way up to present day. The elementary school era of the book seems to drag on for-fucking-ever for apparent reason other than to build a foundation for the readers to see that the sisters have a close (?) relationship. Or used to. It honest to god just drones on and on though and is cheesy and aggravating, to be quite frank. To the point that when  the “disappearance” happens, I was so simultaneously relieved and also underwhelmed. Sure, it was sad but like…

I don’t know. I think this year (2024) burnt me out.

Bye.

Here is an intro to tell you that these are the books I read in November. Thank god for intros else you’d never have figured that out.

1. The Last One at the Wedding by Jason Rekulak

LEGIT OBSESSED WITH THIS BOOK. Maybe it was just because I was in a slump, but this was SO ENTERTAINING with a dad protagonist that was borderline surly and just exhausted and his narrative was hilarious even though this was a thriller. A little humor never hurt a thriller, if you ask me. I was rooting for him so hard and kept picturing him as a younger Bruce Willis trying to save his daughter from marrying into a VERY shady family. And then you throw in his sister and her emergency foster kid – golden dialogue. OMG my nose just started to burn because thinking about this book, especially the ending, has the tears threatening to spill.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book so much. I could barely put it down and stayed up way past my bedtime to finish it. MMMM. MMMM MMMM MMMM.

2. Everyone Who Can Forgive Me Is Dead by Jenny Hollander

Eh. I need to get it through my thick skull that dark academia is not for me, even when the academia portion is just via flashbacks. I also found this very hard to follow.

3. Hampton Heights: One Harrowing Night in the Most Haunted Neighborhood in Milwaukee, Wisconsin by Dan Kois

A cute, short read – kind of like Goosebumps for adults. I had higher hopes for this one especially because it was set in 1987 and I love me some radness. Anyway, this follows a bunch of paperboys as they find out that Hampton Heights is overrun by an array of monsters.

4. We Came to Welcome You by Vincent Tirado

What is it with book covers featuring pies?? They always lure me in and then disappoint me. This was such a bland domestic thriller. I could not force myself to care about the main character, her wife, no one. Your basic “new couple in a gated community” thriller, except there were very few thrills.

5. At Home with the Horrors by Sammy Scott

A short story anthology that I actually LOVED. Every story was between 4 to 5 stars, except for the last one which was actually a novella but – IMO – didn’t need to be. It was the only one that dragged on for me. But the rest? Shoooo—I actually really did get some chills out of these pages. It was like being a kid again and reading Christopher Pike, but for adults. “Scared Mary” was my favorite, an urban legend-ish tale for the current generation: being more and more extreme for the views.

Also, this cover! Coincidentally, I had checked this out of the library at the same time as “The Last One at the Wedding” and was so stoked at the similar covers. And then they both gave me great reading experiences, too! Thank you, lakeside book covers!

6. Sandwich by Catherine Newman

OK Ann Patchett, I’m disappointed in you for blurbing this and getting me to listen to the audiobook. I can’t believe how annoying it was. The MOST annoying family. The only character that wasn’t annoying was the cat. Who has these types of explicit yet casual sex conversations with their children? Granted, the kids were young adults but S T I L L – you know when something sexual makes ME uncomfy, then it’s gotta be weird.

Also, I must not have been paying attention because I just realized after the fact that the book is called Sandwich because it’s set in Sandwich, MA. The whole time, I was like, “They haven’t been eating that many sandwiches though, have they?”

Just so boring and whiny. And I too am boring and whiny –  but not like this, I hope.

7. The House That Horror Built by Christina Henry

I had really high hopes for this – a horror novel about a reclusive horror director? Yeah boi. But it was actually so boring, barely held my interest even after I tried switching to the audio. I think Christina Henry is just very hit or miss with me.

8. I’ll Stop the World by Lauren Thoman

OK I didn’t realize this was a time travel book until after I was already PRETTY INTO IT and that’s a good thing because I likely would have skipped it since we know how I roll (or stall) with time travel. But this was so good. Honestly, just very pure, the characters were so real, the 1980s vibes were vibin’ – I really enjoyed it.  4 stars.

9. Rest Stop – Nat Cassidy

Well this was a sick-fuck of a little book! I knew going into that it was going to be pretty violent and gross but it’s NAT CASSIDY and I am his FAN GWORL so I had to read it. 4 stars, a solid novella and made me feel like I had bugs crawling on me quite a few times.

10. Allow Me to Introduce Myself by Onyi Nwabineli

Five stars. The second book I’ve read from this author and she has me sold on her words, people. This book made me feel guilty about how much of Chooch’s life I have put online, but also grateful that I never actually got popular / become an influencer / etc. Because reading a book from the POV of a character who is fighting with her stepmom to take down posts and images of her as a child, and to see the continued trauma she is going through even as an adult was really upsetting and made me feel like an asshole.

My favorite part of this book though is the found family our main character has with her two best friends, and the sweet and pure relationship she has with her grandparents in Nigeria. I loved the parts of the book where she was there visiting and feeling her happiest and safest.

Nwabineli is an excellent writer. The emotion was there but also SO MUCH REALNESS in the dialogue and dynamics within the friend group.

11. Mr. Higgins Comes Home by Mike Mignola

A fun and spoopy little graphic novel that I read just to kill some time. I loved the illustrations!

That’s all for November.

My intro is just “fuck it all to hell.” On to the books.

1. Malice House (Malice Compendium, #1) by Megan Shepherd

A “meh”-ish 3 stars. It was fine.

2. Don’t Eat the Pie by Monique Asher

This cover is chef’s kiss. This and the plot itself gave me some ideas for future Pie Parties lol (Dear Henry, make the top crust of the pie say “All Hail Queen Erin”). But truly, this book was kind of a snooze. I didn’t latch on to a single character. I also didn’t even care about the whys and hows. That’s….not great. Kind of Rosemary’s Baby-esque but not very well executed.

3. Sleep Tight by J.H. Markert

*HIT THE BUZZER!* Next.

4. Incidents Around the House by Josh Malerman

YO 5 STARS. This was included in Spotify Premium and as soon as I started listening, my immediate reaction was, “Ugh, this is narrated from a child’s POV” and thought FOR SURE that the voice would drive me insane. Yet somehow, I withstood it and thank god because this one was actually chilling. The horror book I have been searching for! Perfect for October, creepy AF, also kind of funny at times. My ONLY gripe is that the way  the parents (especially the mom) talked to the kid. I think she was supposed to be 8 and they were slinging some Big Thinks around. I mean, I always patted myself on the back for talking to Chooch like I would talk to anyone else, totally eschewing baby talk, but this was reminiscent of watching Dawson’s Creek back in the day and screaming, “WE DO NOT TALK TO EACH OTHER LIKE THAT!” I thought that was kind of bizarre.

Actually, I just saw this in someone’s Goodreads review and it is very spot-on: “the author wrote the 8 year old like she was 4. meanwhile adults are having full on conversations with her like she is their co worker.”

However, the plot was just THAT GOOD that I didn’t let this drag the score down.

5. Gray After Dark by Noelle W. Ihli

I truly do not know how this absolute garbage disguised as a book has such a high average on Goodreads because it felt like it was written by a middle schooler. Repetitive. Boring. One dimensional characters. I appreciate that it was based on a true story but I think I would rather read a non-fiction account of it. Cringey. Poorly-written. The captors name one of the girls RUTHIE SUE? Get this cornball trash out of my face. Ugh I actually got so angry thinking about this drivel.

6. All This & More by Peng Shepherd

Really cool concept, reimagined Choose Your Own Adventure, but it got kind of boring and also confusing. I didn’t want to choose either option most of the time lol.

7. Horror Movie by Paul Tremblay

This started off strong, but then I got bored. 3 stars but honestly his books are usually pretty mid to me.

8. Docile: Memoirs of a Not-So-Perfect Asian Girl by Hyeseung Song

Loved it! Apparently, a memoir was just what I needed.

9. So Thirsty by Rachel Harrison

OK I am a big fan of Harrison’s writing and have given all of her books 4-5 stars. I love her modern takes on classic horror tropes. AND I LOVE VAMPIRES so this should have been an easy 5 for me. Henry and I listened to the audiobook on the way to Chicago for the Seventeen concert, and finished it on the way home so in that regard this book will always feel cozy and warm to me when I think about it. And Harrison’s writing was, as per usual, snappy and quick-witted. I love how she writes her dialogue and I love how her main characters always have a sort of “ugh what now” attitude about them. This one was no exception. I loved Sloane, but her BFF Naomi was so fucking grating. I get it – she was supposed to be loud and obnoxious, a total party monster but I hated hated hated the voice that the narrator gave her. It went right through me every time, especially since we had to listen to it with the volume up fairly loud to combat highway noise.

I would give the first half of the book 4 stars, maybe even 4.5. It was fun and kept us interested, and the when the vamps finally enter the picture, shit got fucking hysterical. But the second half was a slog. The pacing was weird, it felt like it stalled out. There were times when I couldn’t even remember what the plot was anymore  – was there a thing that they working up to, etc.? So I gave that half a 2.75.

3 stars overall and I will definitely still be reading her books, but you know, you can’t please everyone every time.

10. Diavola by Jennifer Marie Thorne

LOL dude. 4 stars, one of the quirkiest and most fun haunted house books I’ve ever read! I love love love that it was set in a small Italian village, I loved the dysfunctional family dynamics, I loved hating the brother’s brother, I loved rooting for the main character every time her family treated her like a black sheep tag-along.

And then once the hauntings started happening, it was equal parts chilling and STILL FUNNY.

Eventually, the setting changes to NYC and the book lost a little bit of its charm for me then, but overall, 4 stars.

11. Every Last Secret by A.R. Torre

I hated this. One of the most boring domestic thrillers with two catty bitches fighting over one man who, aside from being a mega millionaire, was SUCH A BORING ASSHOLE. This was not good but I was in need of an audiobook to accompany me on my walks and this was the best I could do in a pinch.

12. We Should Have Left Well Enough Alone by Ronald Malfi

Short stories. The first one started the book off with a bang, I loved it so much and this is going to sound like I’m giving myself way more credit than I ever deserve, but it reminded me of those idiotic short stories I used to write on here back in the day before my job and life in general sapped every last ounce of creativity from my brain? Those days?

Yeah anyHOO. Some stories were poppin’, some were….droppin’. You know what I mean. There was one about a foster kid that tags along with a trio of kids from the neighborhood for trick-or-treating and that one was definitely the perfect nostalgic Halloween vibes that I needed, you know, on Halloween. But some were really drawn out with little pay off at the end.

I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE YOU WANT ME TO SAY.

That’s all of the books I read in October.

…because I can’t remember. How effing sad is that. I would like to get a brain scan someday. Not like I’d know what I’m looking at but like…are parts of it melted?

1. Grim Root by Bonnie Jo Stufflebeam

Oh this was SO BAD. I definitely remember this because as soon as I saw the cover, my face involuntarily twisted into a scowl of disgust. Basically a Bachelor-type reality show films on location at a haunted house. The writing was so bad, like juvenile fanfic. Caricature-like characters, no one really to root for, cringey dialogue. I get that sometimes books are just meant to be read for fun and not to critique its depth, weight, or social commentary, but this wasn’t even that. 2 stars – being generous there. No jams.

2. The Good House by Tananarive Due

No THIS is how you do the haunted house trope. Due’s writing is rich and immersive. Descriptive but never boring. That’s a gripe I have with horror novels oftentimes – they’re 500+ pages because so much of it is atmosphere-building and let’s be real -that shit can be a snooze after a while. But this wasn’t that. A unique take on magic, family history, and haunted grounds. I was crying by the end of it.

I had to give it a 4 though because it didn’t bowl me over like The Reformatory did – that was a solid 5 and set the bar for Tananarive Due’s books for me from here on out.

3. The Night Guest by Hildur Knútsdóttir

Super quick read – chilling, but TRIGGER WARNING for cat deaths :( This broad is doing some concerning and mysterious things in her sleep – waking up with 40,000 steps on her health tracker, random bruises, blood of unknown origin on her hands. I was down for this.

(Just wish it didn’t have the cat stuff in it.)

4. Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

OMG people FREAK OUT over this book but I found it to be boring, not scary, and it had me rolling my eyes quite a few times. Almost all of my Goodreads pals gave this 4 stars. Did we read the same book? It was a low 3 for me and I was considering even dropping it down to 2.5. As a fan of horror, this didn’t even come close to getting the job done for me. Great cover though.

5. The Lake House by Sarah Beth Durst

Was this YA? If so, I don’t think I realized it when I requested it from the library. I thought the cover was compelling and haunting so I was stoked for this! Sadly, it was not what I was expecting. Essentially a deserted island survival tale with three teenage girls who, as expected, were completely annoying on the page. Pretty lame, overall.

6. My Lovely Wife by Samantha Downing

OK!  Here we go, things are heating up! This domestic thriller was SO GOOD. A true page-turner. Exciting. Great writing. I had a ton of fun reading this and isn’t that the whole point of reading!? I lose sight of that a lot lately.

7. Evocation (The Summoner’s Circle, #1) by S.T. Gibson

2 stars, barely. I had heard that this is like the Raven Boys series but for adults and I was really into this at first but it went downhill for me. Not dark enough. Confusing. Cringey. Insufferable characters.  I lost interest and once the big climax happened, I had forgotten what the plot even was lol.  On top of all that, it felt like I had started reading this in the middle of the series – like there was some strained history with some of the characters that was alluded to like it was supposed to have already been pre-known coming into this book. I won’t be continuing this series.

Also, people keep salivating over the cover but I think it’s fugly.

Raven Boys forever. This is not that.

8. The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman

Admittedly, at a certain point, I no longer knew what was going on but hello, this is Neil Gaiman and it was also narrated by him so it was very cozy and dreamy.

9. The Rich People Have Gone Away by Regina Porter

OK, I’m not usually excited about COVID novel but this one was wild. Enviable writing; captivating, interesting and flawed characters; satisfying moments when you realize whose stories connect. This book was unique and a solid 5 stars from me, Kiki.

10. The Main Character by Jaclyn Goldis 

Wow, this was…how do I say…..um. Far-fetched yet lacking entertainment. I don’t care to say anything else about this.

11. Meddling Kids by Edgar Cantero

3.5. This was really fun and the writing was so quirky. Scooby Doo-meets-The Monster Squad vibes. (Also, that cover is exquisite!!)

12. The Clinic by Cate Quinn

3 stars. I finished this in the car on the way to Long Island for the DREAMIE concert and Henry was like, “What is it about” and I honestly didn’t even care to explain. Um, that is still the case.

13. How to Sell a Haunted House by Grady Hendrix

A GRADY HENDRIX BOOK THAT I ACTUALLY LIKED??? Holy shit. It’s true. This was so close to being a 5 star read for me. I love the sibling dynamics. I actually FELT SCARED a few times which is a really hard feat when it comes to me and horror books because I am such a snob. But also, on top of everything, this was just a FUN TIME. I actually stopped at one point and had to make sure I wasn’t reading a T. Kingfisher book though because that is what this reminded me of – I love her (his? their?) quirky take on family dysfunction-meets-horror.

14. Summer of Night (Seasons of Horror, #1) by Dan Simmons

And then I finished the month with a 5-star horror book written in the early 1990s but set in the 1960s. Very Stephen King-ish, coming-of-age horror about a group of boys that ranged in age from 8 to 12, if I remember correctly, trying to figure out what the FUCK is going on at their now-abandoned school and across the whole town. Disliked the dog deaths. Why do pets have to die in fucking horror books?? It is so unnecessary. But overall, I was really into this book. However, remember what I said earlier in this post about how horror novelists in particular tend to get way too wordy when it comes to setting the scene, building the suspense, knitting the ambiance? Yeah, this one was like that. It would be swathes of text describing the layout of a fucking cornfield, like a book can’t get the HORROR stamp on it unless it pushes 500 pages, so we get a bunch of dry paragraphs that threaten to pull you out of the zone after a point. Or…is that just me? I want dialogue. I’m a talky-type of reader.

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Well, that’s all for September. Hopefully I get some scary reads in this month!?

I have reached the next mood phase of whatever….THIS….is that I have been going through for the last few months / year. And that is extreme irritability and agitation. Literally I’m so pissed off about everything, so mad at everyone, just so annoyed and let down.

And you know what else I’m bad about? Books. I just want to be rocked to my core by a book and that really hasn’t been happening much this year. Is it me, not them? WHO CAN BE SURE.

That being said, here’s the lineup of books from August and if I am remembering correctly, most aren’t even worth mentioning.

1. Foolish: Tales of Assimilation, Determination, and Humiliation by Sarah Cooper

LOL well I lied because right off the bat was this 4-star memoir by Sarah Cooper, whom I LOVE and this was never going to be less than 4 stars for me. Biased. If you don’t know who she is, she is a comedian, writer, and actor who used to work in the tech industry and went viral at the beginning of the pandemic for her HYSTERICAL Trump lip-sync videos on TikTok and Instagram. I fangirled immediately and even though she no longer does the Trump vids, I have no regrets and have never looked back. She is such a character. This kept me rapt and entertained from start to finish.

2. Heaven’s Crooked Finger (Earl Marcus #1) by Hank Early

I think I had one hour left to the audio and I just couldn’t do it. This book was so dry.

3. Best Friends Forever by Jennifer Weiner

Worst Weiner I’ve ever had read. It was a whole lotta WTFs and then we had POV chapters from characters that shouldn’t have been given the stage. Clunky. Not memorable at all.

4. We Were the Universe by Kimberly King Parsons

OK now that I’m getting into this recap, I’m realizing that August wasn’t a write-off (HAHA a pun HAHAHA) after all because this book got me good. 4.5 stars, weird, wacky, uncomfy. The writing was absolutely nuts. Loved it. Kimberly King Parsons, you are on my radar, babe.

5. Go Home, Ricky! by Gene Kwak

Dude, I loved this one too! 5 stars! The only bad thing about this book is that I was reading it to and from Chicago which was such a bipolar, dysfunctional, traumatic trip so I do pair those associations with the reading journey. But not even that can take away from how much I enjoyed this story, the writing, the characters!! This played out so vividly in my head like an irreverent dark comedy series. Make room for Kwak on my radar, Parsons.

6. The Resort by Sara Ochs

I’m taking a pass on this one. It was boring.

7. NCT 127: Limitless by NCT 127

An NCT127 manhwa?? Hell yes. 4 stars because it was kind of like….huh? And I couldn’t tell who was supposed to be who but it’s NCT127 so any NCTzen is going to like it. (The Kpop industry is OBSESSED with dreams as a concept though, I will tell you that much.)

8. I Hope This Finds You Well by Natalie Sue

This was fine but didn’t make me want to Q-Tip my imaginary dickhole over it. I saw this compared to Elenor Oliphant and I would agree because the main character is a bit unlikeable and very socially awkward. Almost the entire book takes place in an office and that felt kind of suffocating at times. I was excited when there was an impromptu trip to a bowling alley at one point.

9. House of Glass by Sarah Pekkanen

Creepy concept featuring a creepy kid but the ending wasn’t as….creepy as I wanted. There was a lot of extraneous detail with side relationships and characters that had no pay off and didn’t add much to the plot in whole so that was frustrating. But overall, I didn’t chuck it across the road when I finished. (Probably because I listened to the audio and had nothing to chuck. My headphone! I could have chucked those. But I didn’t because this didn’t inspire any angry, chuck-inducing tendencies within me.)

10. She Started It by Sian Gilbert

1 star. You’ve read this before. Probably at least a dozen times. Tired ass bully mean girl revenge Agatha Christie trope. It was vapid. All of the characters were cut from the same cardboard. The twist didn’t shock and awe me.

11. Midnight on Beacon Street by Emily Ruth Verona

Most compelling thing about this book is the cover.

So much potential. FAILED. I thought this was going to be fun nostalgic slasher romp but it was fucking stupid and a total waste of time.

12. The Husbands by Holly Gramazio

I had no idea what this was about until I started reading it so when The Thing happens (and it happens in the first chapter) I was like, “Oh. OK!” and I think had I known, I would have skipped because it’s borderline scifi / time fuckery which I try to lean away from but THIS. THIS I liked. It was crazy and fast-paced and also, I felt mildly panicked while reading it too because it was like being in a loop and that is a fear. The loop. Getting stuck. But I enjoyed this, the writing was snappy and funny, and I gave it 4.

13. We Used to Live Here by Marcus Kliewer

Did I understand this? No. Did it give me the creeps? Yep. 4 stars. Read it and then explain it to me please.

It’s billed as Get Out meets Parasite and I didn’t get that vibe at all. Also, I just saw that Netflix picked this up and BLAKE LIVELY is going to be in it. PASS.

14. City of Likes by Jenny Mollen

This was wild. I definitely felt again like I was watching some very messy Girls-esque series on HBO but with young NYC moms and one of them was a legit momfluencer who I couldn’t stop picturing my ex-friend Seri as because this bitch was so full of shit and insufferable and toxic….just like Seri! I did not see The Thing That Happened Near the End coming AT ALL and I actually screamed and then cheered in a really sick, guilty, depraved manner. I gave it 4 stars because it was a fun, pleasurable read. Maybe it wasn’t super memorable, but it was different and a good way to end the month. Also, I had no idea who this writer was until I got to the acknowledgements and it was her and her husband going back and forth (I listened to this on audio) and there was something about it that made me stop and say – wait, who actually are these people? So I looked her up on IG and she is actually an actore I guess? And her husband is Jason Biggs and OMG I’m dying now because I just saw that she was actually on Girls, LOL. That checks.

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The end.