Why does it feel like April was so long ago, yet it seems not right that we’re already in May. Time gets weirder the older you get, I swear to GD. Anyway, I keep telling myself that I am not going to get lost in the weeds in my feeble attempts to craft concise reviews because let’s face it: a book reviewer I am not. So, I’m aiming for 2 or less sentences, maybe even just one word if it was that mid.

1. Serial Killer Support Group by Saratoga Schaefer

This wasn’t on my radar at all but I needed something to listen to on my morning walks. Interesting premise of a woman infiltrating a support group for serial killers in an effort to find her sister’s killer. Slightly predictable but still a good time.

2. Listen to Your Sister by Neena Viel

I saw this compared to Jordan Peele and I could 100% see him adapting this into his next great Black horror film. It was YA but seriously filled with vivid, gory imagery and really shone a creepy, red light on the real life horror everyday can be for Black kids.

3. Evenings and Weekends by Oisín McKenna

This was fine but the “for fans of Sally Rooney” should have tipped me off that this was going to be a big book about nothing filled with a cast of annoying, wayward 20-somethings in London. It was practically DARING me to care about any of them and I definitely didn’t win.

4. Bury Your Gays by Chuck Tingle

DUDE, YESSIR. This is the horror I came for. 4 solid stars, witty writing, super fucking creepy vibes. I bet the audio book slaps, but I just read this the old-fashioned way. ALSO, THE COVER.

5. All the Missing Pieces by Catherine Cowles

SO.BAD. I didn’t know this was ROMANCE, I thought it was a mystery about a podcaster trying to solve her sister’s murder but then there’s some gruff and grumpy small town sheriff that IMMEDIATELY FALLS IN LOVE WITH HER and his chapters are so gross. I have never heard so many descriptions of eyes “flashing.” WTF DOES THAT EVEN MEAN. HE WAS OBSESSED WITH HER “FLASHING EYES.” Also, I hated the narrator for the sheriff’s chapters. Oh god I hated this book so much. SOMETIMES IT REALLY DOES PAY TO READ THE FULL SYNOPSIS, ERIN.

6. I See You’ve Called in Dead by John Kenney

Five solid stars. I cannot recommend this book enough. It has set up camp inside my heart and will probably stay there until the coyotes find it and tear it apart, I don’t know what I’m saying because now I’m thinking about this book, the characters, the writing, the plot, the beauty and perfection of it all. I need to read everything John Kenney writes now.

7. Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle

Not as good as the other Tingle book, but this was a pretty solid LGBTQ horror. It kind of read more as YA to me, ngl, but still great nonetheless. And can we also pause to appreciate the author’s book jacket pic?

8. No Place Left to Hide by Megan Lally

Speaking of YA – this one just hit, I can’t explain it. I loved her other book, That’s Not My Name, as well, and this one was just as fun, great twist, unlikable protagonist.

9. The Wolf and the Watchman by Niklas Natt och Dag

Dude, I dunno how this ended up on my TBR but I apparently requested it from the library, read the synopsis when I got home, thought, “Why did I request this book? I’m going to hate this!” and then by the middle of the first chapter I was hooked. It’s historical fiction (1793 Stockholm) and I know NOTHING about this time of history. But! It has an element of horror to it, it’s macabre, it’s gory, it’s dirty, and the characters pop off the pages. I gave it five stars. I have to gear myself up to read the rest of the books now because I believe this is a series. but I will tell you now that Winge and Cardell are two of my favorite fictional characters now.

10. The Next Mrs. Parrish (Mrs. Parrish, #2) by Liv Constantine

But did anyone ask for a sequel? Mid. I rooted for no one. Also, there’s a diamond story line that is so fucking cringey and if I wanted that kind of absurdly unbelievable plot, I’d watch Days of Our Lives, ok Liv?

That’s all, you’re dismissed.

March was a bit better in terms of refreshing books that made me feel stoked to wake up the next day and dive back in. I love that feeling!

1. I Might Be in Trouble by Daniel Aleman

This was pretty funny – a struggling writer gets himself in a pickle and with the help of his hilariously sassy agent, this turns into some bizarre Weekend at Bernie’s type of scramble. I had fun reading this one and would be interested in reading more from this guy!

2. The Wedding People by Alison Espach

I did not enjoy another book I had recently read by this author but several of my friends had raved about her newest one; I succumbed to peer pressure as one does. And thank god because this was FANTASTIC. I went into it knowing NOTHING about the synopsis and I think that is best so I will let you click the Goodreads link up there if you really want to know. But the reason I gave this a 4.5 is simple: THE CHARACTERS POPPED OFF THE PAGE. I wanted so badly to be there with them. Quirky, heartwarming without being corny, a REALISTIC ENDING. I loved every page of this book and I think it will be sticking with me for quite some time. Definitely recommend!

3. Famous Last Words by Gillian McAllister

I gave this thriller a 3 but only because her other books were better, IMO. The author describes it as “a love story set in a hostage situation.” OK, sure. It was definitely a unique plot but I couldn’t connect. Basically, this broad wakes up and her husband is gone and then she finds out he has a bunch of people held hostage in a warehouse and then escapes the police. I did enjoy it, you just really have to suspend disbelief.

4. The Author’s Guide to Murder by Beatriz Williams

Corny. Next.

5. Butter by Asako Yuzuki

Usually, Japanese novels about murder really do it for me, but this one made me feel like I was reading something for a Feminism elective in community college. I could barely get through it, even after switching to audio. The blurb is “The cult Japanese bestseller about a female gourmet cook and serial killer and the journalist intent on cracking her case, inspired by a true story.” Sounds intriguing!! Sadly, not for me, fam.

6. Deep Cuts by Holly Brickley

If you love music like I love music, especially in the snobby sense, then you will love this. I lowkey didn’t like the protagonist, Percy, but it somehow didn’t deter from the actual reading experience for me.

7. Guillotine by Delilah S. Dawson

I needed an audiobook for my daily walks and this one caught my eye on Hoopla. It was fast-paced and a fun read. The Goodreads blurb says “The Menu meets Ready of Not” and I fully endorse this summary.

8. The English Teacher by Lily King

My third (?) Lily King novel. I REALLY like her writing. Her characters always feel like real people to me, too, going through actual hardships. The protagonist here is not very likable on purpose but you understand why she is the way she is because King has written her character so exquisitely. I really can’t say enough good things about Lily King.

9. The Favorites by Layne Fargo

The fact that I couldn’t even remember what this was right away….lol. I thought it was fine, it kept my attention even though I’m not necessarily a figure skate aficionado. It did kind of feel like a dollar store version of a Taylor Jenkins Reid book though in that it’s written in both story-form and through interviews / news reports. I would say pick up Carrie Soto Is Back by Reid instead if you’re into dramatic female-fronted sports comeback stories. This one kind of fell flat for me – for a while there I was certain that there was some underlying murder that was going to rear its head and flip the narrative but nope. It didn’t really feel like there was much of a pay-off here.

10. I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokbokki by Baek Se-hee

Hashtag relatable. This wasn’t an entertaining book by any means, it was very clinical and dry, but holy shit I felt like it was written about me. Also, same bestie – tteokbokki gives me the will to keep on keepin’ on, too.

11. Beautiful Ugly by Alice Feeney

Two fuckin’ stars. Alice Feeney, you failed me again. I swear, she gave me one solid 5-star with Daisy Darker and everything else has been swill in a barrel.

This was so stupid, unreal, preposterous, no tension. The best part was the dog!!!

12. The Haar by David Sodergren

Yes. YES! A solid, sick, gory, horror story but also one that was full of love and life. Sentimental horror. I had this on audio and was almost done with it when we took Chooch back to Philly after spring break and I just couldn’t wait any longer so I asked Henry if he minded if I put it on in the car (I didn’t have my headphones) – lol like it really mattered to me if he minded or not. Anyway, he was like, “WHAT is this??” after quietly listening about a sea blob thing devouring shitty men in very explicit detail. But this just felt like a love story to me more than anything and I was so there for it.

13. This Book Will Bury Me by Ashley Winstead

Winstead’s debut novel was such a solid 5 for me and then everything after was shit (IMO, anyway). But this one finally brought me back on board. College student becomes obsessed with a true crime message board after the death (natural causes, not murder) of her father. I gave this 4 stars for the entertainment value – it was a page-turner – but it still had a lot of faults like being obviously based on the recent U.of Idaho murders. I did enjoy the found family aspect, but unless I’m missing something, I didn’t really care much for the parts that circled back to her dead dad.

Actually, now that I’m revisiting this from a distance, I’m realizing that there were many flaws but this was STILL better than her other post-In My Dreams I Hold a Knife novels. I think I would still recommend it. I’m tired, lol.

And that’s it for March! I’m so great at talking about books! Invite me to your book club! :/

February feels like a lifetime ago and I am looking at this list like, “I read these books?” To be fair, I had a lingering fever for like 2 weeks so who knows what was going on.

1. Society of Lies by Lauren Ling Brown

Dark academia and one that I actually liked. Dual timelines and POVs. As with all dark academia, it was very far-fetched but also, I didn’t go an Ivy with secret societies so who am I to say that disbelief must be suspended? Chooch has a frenemy from high school who goes to Princeton and I want him to ask her if she knows anything, lol.

Anyway, this follows two sisters – one is a Princeton alum, the other is a current student – and I admittedly kept getting the timelines crossed. The younger sister uncovers a scandal within the most secretest of all the secret societies and then ends up murdered.

  2. Darkly by Marisha Pessl

This was alright but there were a lot of times when it wasn’t holding my attention and just honestly made me want to go back and read The Westing Game instead. I am a firm believer that YA books can be enjoyed by all but this one missed the mark for me. I probably would have loved this as a kid though.

3. We Could Be Rats by Emily R. Austin

I’m going to be honest here, I gave this an alleged 4 star rating on Goodreads and cannot for the life remember a single word of this book. February was such a crazy month. But OMG this book cover tho.

4. How to End a Love Story by Yulin Kuang

OK this I do remember reading and I know that I disliked it immensely. Girl falls in love with the guy who accidentally vehicular manslaughtered her suicidal sister in high school. I felt no emotional connection to anyone in this book. Also, love story? Bitch where.

5. Same As It Ever Was by Claire Lombardo

OK, this one was weird. I very much high-key hated this book. The main character was insufferable (also I feel like I had no idea what she looked like either) and has some bizarre secret friendship with a woman who could be her mother and I guess on some level I get that aspect because I have constantly befriended surrogate mom-types through my whole adult life since I don’t really have a mom who acts like a mom.

But this book just went on and on for a million pages and I was so disgusted at every turn. And then the very last several pages hit me like a freight train and I felt like I was done so dirty. 

Because this was able to touch a nerve and evoke emotions at the end, I gave it a 3.

6. The Trunk – Kim Ryeo-ryeon

One of the few Korean novels that I haven’t liked very much. I wanted to read this because it was adapted into a K-Drama with one of my favorite actors but after reading this book, I am really confused about how they were able to drag this out into a 16 episode series?? I haven’t watched it yet and now I don’t know if I will because legit nothing happened in this book. The main character works at this matchmaking company that has a secret marriage division so she’s basically a wife-for-hire for the wealthiest of the clients. You could imagine all the different directions this story could take but it was just like one long flat-line with no pay-off.

7. The Rom-Commers by Katherine Center

Mid.

8. Keep It in the Family by John Marrs

Mid x2. This was actually just ridiculous. I think my standards for thrillers have just gotten to be too high so this sounds like a me problem. I can admit that.

9. A Killing Cold by Kate Alice Marshall

This one was OK but I have read much better from this author and expected more. Rich family with dirty secrets, secluded and private family cabins in the winter, protagonist who can’t remember where she came from…it was decent but forgettable. Also, the “connection” between the main character and her fiancé was not believable to me.

10. Big in Sweden by Sally Franson

Beautiful and quirky cover! Narrated by Meg Ryan! Set in Sweden! Too bad none of those things were enough. I admittedly only picked this up because I was feeling nostalgic for Sweden but this didn’t scratch the itch. A trip  to Ikea would have been better. The main character is just insufferable and sorry Meg, but not even your voice could make me like her. Basically this broad wins a spot on some family tree reality show but it turns out to be like MTV/Road Rules the Challenge, but make it Swedish with the main point being that the Swedes love to watch the Americans cry.

And then the winner gets to connect with their Swedish family.

It was a miss for me, fam. Maybe if I had read this on a plane or something, it would have had a better effect on me, but a cold February at home in Pittsburgh somehow managed to provide the exact opposite of escapism.

the end.

Hey. I started off the new year pretty strong. Let’s recap SHALL WE.

1. Parasol Against the Axe by Helen Oyeyemi

This wasn’t my FAVE Oyeyemi book but it was still brilliant enough to keep her firmly planted at the top of my favorite author list. I don’t know how she writes these things, they are so quirky, smart, brain-bending, full of WTF. This is a weird one because I love her bizarre and insane writing style so much but there was a book-within-the-book going on here and I didn’t like those parts at all. But the present-day narrative was chef’s kiss – unhinged, smart, and thoroughly confusing as always.

There was a line that went like “my skull was full of souffle” and that is exactly how this book (any of her books!) made me feel, like CrossFit for the brain.  You gotta be prepared to put in the work, this book isn’t going to read itself to you.

2. High Fidelity by Nick Hornby

I mean, you know this book, or the movie, or the TV show. It was a solid read.

3. How to Kill Men and Get Away With It by Katy Brent

This was fun, especially if you hate men and believe me, I do. But it also wasn’t very unique or revolutionary. I have read better “female serial killer” books but this one was still a fun and quick read.

4. Howl’s Moving Castle (Howl’s Moving Castle, #1) by Diana Wynne Jones

I mean I must be broken because I only thought this was just OK and there is an entire sector of society out there who probably want to string me up for not having a glowing review.

I tried reading this years ago and was bored. Then this time around, I listened to the audio and was still not entertained. I will say though that I have NOT watched the animated film adaptation but it’s Japanese so already I feel like it’s gotta be better than the book.

5. The Reappearance of Rachel Price by Holly Jackson

Actually kind of wild for a YA mystery. I didn’t LOVE it, but it was like, the fuck is going on this is so far-fetched, what??

6. Love Interest by Clare Gilmore

OK so hear me out. The man character was Korean American so there would be like, Korean words and references thrown about here and there which makes me hope that the author either has a vested interest in Korea or has some relation to Korea so I will give her that but the narrator was BOTCHING it up big time. I was cringing every time she fuck up a Korean word like it was his first run-through, no going back.

Also, she pronounced subsidiary as “SUB-si-dairy” instead of “sub-SID-iary” which got under my skin because in my job, we were talking about subs A LOT and everyone uses the latter pronunciation.

Also x2 this book was just boring and I was not having any feels whatsoever.

7. Shiver: Selected Stories by Junji Ito

HELL YEAH. This has been on my TBR for years and I finally picked it up from the library. I loved almost every story, they were so creepy and affective, but “greased” seriously almost made me throw up it was so disgusting. I loved it.

8. Graveyard Shift by M.L. Rio

No. This was just bad. Worse than mid.

9. The Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley

OK I enjoyed this way more than I thought I would being sci-fi adjacent I guess and while it remains true that as with most books in that genre, I oftentimes had NO IDEA what was going on, I genuinely loved the characters, their development, their relationships. It was a wild and inventive premise too, Bill & Ted’ish in that random people from the past are brought to the present day. Hilarity ensues.

10. Bottled Goods by Sophie van Llewyn

We are planning a Romania trip later this summer (this is pathetic but we can’t officially book our flight until I know when G-Dragon is touring the US lol) so I have been trying to add some Romanian novels to my TBR to help aid me in getting stoked. I LOVED THIS ONE. It had a bit of magical realism in it but mostly portrayed life in Communist Romania which I admittedly do not know much about so it provided a great historical bent as well.

I really enjoyed this one!

11. Sky Full of Elephants by Cebo Campbell

OK wow another sci fi, who is she. Anyway, this was fascinating – one day, almost all of the white people walk to the nearest body of water and drown themselves and now POC are running a post-racial America. There aren’t any zombies in this but it did give me some The Walking Dead vibes where you have a group of people trying to get to “the Kingdom.”

I really enjoyed this but I couldn’t stand the main character’s 19yo daughter. She was such a fucking brat and her chapters were a drag.

12.Things Don’t Break on Their Own by Sarah Easter Collins

My friend Lindsey recommended this one to me and it was a solid 5 stars, brother. The mystery / thriller element was such a page-turner but the characters. Robyn’s parents. The old lady in the house. The shit Willa endured. The HOLY SHIT moment at the dinner party. This book was so rich with trauma and palpable pain, but also so much love between friends. I loved it so much, every page of it.

13. The Pairing by Casey McQuiston

But then I read this next and it was sooooo bad. I have loved her books in the past but this was just actual trash and I did not care about either person. The European food tour aspect of it wasn’t even enough to redeem it – usually books like that will poke at my wanderlust and it will make the rest of the shit tolerable but this was, as I said, trash. I didn’t care why these people broke up and I didn’t care if they were going to get back together. In fact, I was kind of hoping they would both die. At least Theo. I hated them so much. Wah wah wah.

14. The Third Gilmore Girl by Kelly Bishop

I mean…come on. It’s Kelly freaking Bishop. I admittedly did not know much about her outside of the Gilmore Girls realm but wow has she lived a life. I love memoirs.

*****************

OK bye for now!

Hey-o, I read 157 books in 2024. Goodreads tells me that I gave 14 of those a 5-star rating but looking at that list, I’m not sure how strongly I feel about some of those. I pared them down to 5 that I would confidently recommend to friends and would happily buy a hardback copy for my own collection some day if I ever have room for books ugh.

I just really, sincerely loved this book with my whole heart. Great dialogue, bright characters, a compelling plot. I was tense and also laughing out loud more times than I could keep track of. I would recommend this to either someone who doesn’t read books regularly because it’s a freaking easy read and page-turner, someone in a reading slump, and someone who liked picturing young Bruce Willis as a main character because that is where my mind immediately went from the very start of this book. Blue-collar Bruce Willis trying to save his daughter.

This one broke me.

A horror novel that is actually scary because it’s based on real life events in Jim Crowe Florida. Haunting. Brutal. It will rip your heart out. Recommended only to people who can handle painful and heavy narrative. It is a horror novel but the scariest parts are the things that the living do to the living. This book will live in my head forever.

A sprawling, vivid, surreal Korean tale, and another one that was painful and hard to read at times because of the brutality – especially toward women.

But Jesus, I am so glad I picked this up because the pay-off was huge. I don’t know who I would recommend this to and am honestly not sure if I would have even considered it if I weren’t already into Korean culture. But there is something about Korean novels – IYKYK. If you’re looking for an epic novel that will transport you to someplace violently magical chockful of trigger warnings, then give this one a shot lol.

In a nutshell, this is an epic family drama spanning several generations. 

I was completely invested in every generational POV, my favorite being the one set in the late 90s. There’s also a little bit of magical realism in this which caught me off guard. I think I would recommend this to anyone, really. It’s just that solid.

I was still very freshly mourning the death of my cat Drew when I read this.  It was irreverent and LOL funny, exactly what I needed to keep me from cannon-balling off a parking garage in Chicago. Such a sad sack of a protagonist and I wanted nothing but the best for him. The writing was fresh and smart – would have made me jealous if I still even slightly considered myself a “writer.” Let me just say that I don’t follow many authors on Instagram but I immediately started following Gene Kwak after I read this. Funny, awkward, painful, and uncomfortable encounters; a VERY WTF swimming pool scene; a mother/son road trip; an underlying theme of identity crisis – this book has it all. Ricky is a character I won’t soon forget.  I don’t know who I would specifically recommend this to. You, I guess.

Your turn! Lay your 5 star reads on me.

Wow, that title was lame even for me. Please accept my apologies.

Anyway, I read these books in December while counting down the end of a shitty year.

1. Eight Hundred Grapes – Laura Dave

I was double-fisting the Laura Dave to kick off December. I remember really enjoying her novel “The Last Thing He Told Me” and saw that she has a new one out, so I started to read that AND THEN I saw that the audio for this one was available on Hoopla. It’s an older one and I thought it was just OK. Probably just because it was giving the TV show Brothers & Sisters vibes because of the family vineyard story line. It was a lot of family drama, small town characters, runaway bride with little pay off. Also, I made the mistake of reading a review where someone pointed out that she writes in fragments a lot of the time and then I couldn’t stop noticing that, like she learned how to write from LiveJournal in 2001. Not the worst book but I would only recommend as maybe an option for a flight or train ride, I don’t know. This is not my profession.

2. The Night We Lost Him – Laura Dave

This is the new one and it was better – way more mystery vibes. I wouldn’t go as far as calling it a thriller. I was very invested in this for the first half and then it did lose steam for me. I couldn’t connect well with the main character and as such it turned into a “figure it out or don’t, I don’t really care” type of read for a bit but I was back into it by the end and glad that I stuck it out.

3. Heads Will Roll – Josh Winning

Even after re-reading the synopsis, I couldn’t remember actually reading this book at first?! But now I remember and it was decent – better than his other book, Burn the Negative. It has a “summer camp for adults who need to detox from social media” kind of plot, but of course there’s a killer in the woods gunning for all of them. Now that I’m remembering this book, I can confirm that there were times when I was genuinely creeped out by the imagery but I did think all of the characters were extremely corny and written as caricatures. And when we finally find out why the main character was “cancelled,” it was kind of anticlimactic.

4. A Good Happy Girl – Marissa Higgins

I gave this a 2. This whole unhinged and confused single girl in her 20s trope is wearing on me. Also, I’m 45 and not single (albeit unhinged and confused) so I am definitely not the target audience here but I have liked books from this niche genre in the past. This one is mostly about a depressed woman trying to fill a void by being the third wheel in a lesbian couple’s marriage and it is so uncomfortable and actually gross a lot of the time, to be honest, and I have a pretty high tolerance for reading about kinks, etc. I should have known from the cover, tbh.

5. Lula Dean’s Little Library of Banned Books – Kirsten Miller

Entertaining and with a message! I thoroughly enjoyed this one. The characters were rich and real, I was rooting for the good guys so hard, swearing at the racist bigots, and laughing out loud at the absolute havoc this little library was creating around town. This one I do recommend.

6. Heartstopper Vol. 5 – Alice Oseman

The Netflix show has kind of gotten on my nerves, but this book series is still so solid. I  think it would have been semi-life changing if it had been available when I was a kid.

7. Mr. Fox – Helen Oyeyemi

4.5. God, I love Helen Oyeyemi with my whole heart. The things she does with the English language is ABSURD. SORCERY. Sometimes I think she is an absolute psychopath. I can’t explain it – you just have to read one of her books to understand and godspeed if you do. The first time I read a book by her, I thought I hated it until it occurred to me that I just hated how stupid it made me feel, but not in a dark academia sense. You have to go into her books with the understanding that it will stretch your brain like laffy taffy, it will make you yell WHAT AM I READING, and it will be so rewarding in the end. As someone who admittedly spends too much time doom-scrolling, every Oyeyemi book is like a reset for my mind. It reminds me that at one time, I was kind of smart. I was good at English. I liked to read challenging things.

8. Perfume & Pain – Anna Dorn

Unlike that “A Good Happy Girl’ trash I read earlier in the month (which comes up as “readers also enjoyed” for this book on Goodreads LOL), this one did it for me enough that I gave it a 3. I had fun reading it, I rooted for Astrid and wanted so badly for her to get her life back on track. I loved the cast of characters she had orbiting her. Plus, the cover speaks to me. This would have been a good vacation book.

9. Rental House – Weike Wang

This is the second book of Wang’s that I’ve read and they both have a similar disassociated kind of vibe going on with the main character. Keru was pretty unlikable (I mean, even the dog prefers the husband over her) but I still just wanted good things for her. There really isn’t much of a plot to talk about – it starts with a married couple sharing a rental house with both sets of parents during the pandemic – Keru’s Chinese parents come for the first half and Nate’s white / American parents come the second half and the atmosphere is very different for both but the universal sense of OVERBEARING INLAWS is the same.

The second half of the book finds the couple several years later renting another vacation house and having strange interactions with a family of three in the house next door and then an unexpected family visitor. It was actually pretty stressful. I don’t know that I would actively recommend this to anyone but I did give it a 4.

10. The Midnight Feast – Lucy Foley

Truthfully, I could not follow along with this. Between mixing up the characters and a general ambivalence toward the story itself, I have realized that it’s time to put Foley on my DNR list because all of her books up until now have been major wastes of time for me. I even tried the audio and that was somehow worse. Hated it.

11. Greta & Valdin – Rebecca K. Reilly 

A boring book about two siblings who are roommates and the brother is obsessed with his ex-boyfriend who is also the brother of some guy married to his uncle or something?! You know it’s going to be bad when the book starts with a literal WHO’S WHO and some of the characters inexplicably have the same name.

The only parts I liked was when Romania was referenced here and there.

12. Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance – Alison Espach

So….I only read this because I’m waiting for the library to get her new book The Wedding People which has been very buzzworthy of late and some of my friends have rated it highly. Now I’m nervous because I lowkey hated this book. I gave it 1 star for the sheer amount of times I rolled my eyes. It’s narrated by the younger sister of the girl who “disappeared,” and it starts in elementary school and works its way up to present day. The elementary school era of the book seems to drag on for-fucking-ever for apparent reason other than to build a foundation for the readers to see that the sisters have a close (?) relationship. Or used to. It honest to god just drones on and on though and is cheesy and aggravating, to be quite frank. To the point that when  the “disappearance” happens, I was so simultaneously relieved and also underwhelmed. Sure, it was sad but like…

I don’t know. I think this year (2024) burnt me out.

Bye.

Here is an intro to tell you that these are the books I read in November. Thank god for intros else you’d never have figured that out.

1. The Last One at the Wedding by Jason Rekulak

LEGIT OBSESSED WITH THIS BOOK. Maybe it was just because I was in a slump, but this was SO ENTERTAINING with a dad protagonist that was borderline surly and just exhausted and his narrative was hilarious even though this was a thriller. A little humor never hurt a thriller, if you ask me. I was rooting for him so hard and kept picturing him as a younger Bruce Willis trying to save his daughter from marrying into a VERY shady family. And then you throw in his sister and her emergency foster kid – golden dialogue. OMG my nose just started to burn because thinking about this book, especially the ending, has the tears threatening to spill.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book so much. I could barely put it down and stayed up way past my bedtime to finish it. MMMM. MMMM MMMM MMMM.

2. Everyone Who Can Forgive Me Is Dead by Jenny Hollander

Eh. I need to get it through my thick skull that dark academia is not for me, even when the academia portion is just via flashbacks. I also found this very hard to follow.

3. Hampton Heights: One Harrowing Night in the Most Haunted Neighborhood in Milwaukee, Wisconsin by Dan Kois

A cute, short read – kind of like Goosebumps for adults. I had higher hopes for this one especially because it was set in 1987 and I love me some radness. Anyway, this follows a bunch of paperboys as they find out that Hampton Heights is overrun by an array of monsters.

4. We Came to Welcome You by Vincent Tirado

What is it with book covers featuring pies?? They always lure me in and then disappoint me. This was such a bland domestic thriller. I could not force myself to care about the main character, her wife, no one. Your basic “new couple in a gated community” thriller, except there were very few thrills.

5. At Home with the Horrors by Sammy Scott

A short story anthology that I actually LOVED. Every story was between 4 to 5 stars, except for the last one which was actually a novella but – IMO – didn’t need to be. It was the only one that dragged on for me. But the rest? Shoooo—I actually really did get some chills out of these pages. It was like being a kid again and reading Christopher Pike, but for adults. “Scared Mary” was my favorite, an urban legend-ish tale for the current generation: being more and more extreme for the views.

Also, this cover! Coincidentally, I had checked this out of the library at the same time as “The Last One at the Wedding” and was so stoked at the similar covers. And then they both gave me great reading experiences, too! Thank you, lakeside book covers!

6. Sandwich by Catherine Newman

OK Ann Patchett, I’m disappointed in you for blurbing this and getting me to listen to the audiobook. I can’t believe how annoying it was. The MOST annoying family. The only character that wasn’t annoying was the cat. Who has these types of explicit yet casual sex conversations with their children? Granted, the kids were young adults but S T I L L – you know when something sexual makes ME uncomfy, then it’s gotta be weird.

Also, I must not have been paying attention because I just realized after the fact that the book is called Sandwich because it’s set in Sandwich, MA. The whole time, I was like, “They haven’t been eating that many sandwiches though, have they?”

Just so boring and whiny. And I too am boring and whiny –  but not like this, I hope.

7. The House That Horror Built by Christina Henry

I had really high hopes for this – a horror novel about a reclusive horror director? Yeah boi. But it was actually so boring, barely held my interest even after I tried switching to the audio. I think Christina Henry is just very hit or miss with me.

8. I’ll Stop the World by Lauren Thoman

OK I didn’t realize this was a time travel book until after I was already PRETTY INTO IT and that’s a good thing because I likely would have skipped it since we know how I roll (or stall) with time travel. But this was so good. Honestly, just very pure, the characters were so real, the 1980s vibes were vibin’ – I really enjoyed it.  4 stars.

9. Rest Stop – Nat Cassidy

Well this was a sick-fuck of a little book! I knew going into that it was going to be pretty violent and gross but it’s NAT CASSIDY and I am his FAN GWORL so I had to read it. 4 stars, a solid novella and made me feel like I had bugs crawling on me quite a few times.

10. Allow Me to Introduce Myself by Onyi Nwabineli

Five stars. The second book I’ve read from this author and she has me sold on her words, people. This book made me feel guilty about how much of Chooch’s life I have put online, but also grateful that I never actually got popular / become an influencer / etc. Because reading a book from the POV of a character who is fighting with her stepmom to take down posts and images of her as a child, and to see the continued trauma she is going through even as an adult was really upsetting and made me feel like an asshole.

My favorite part of this book though is the found family our main character has with her two best friends, and the sweet and pure relationship she has with her grandparents in Nigeria. I loved the parts of the book where she was there visiting and feeling her happiest and safest.

Nwabineli is an excellent writer. The emotion was there but also SO MUCH REALNESS in the dialogue and dynamics within the friend group.

11. Mr. Higgins Comes Home by Mike Mignola

A fun and spoopy little graphic novel that I read just to kill some time. I loved the illustrations!

That’s all for November.

My intro is just “fuck it all to hell.” On to the books.

1. Malice House (Malice Compendium, #1) by Megan Shepherd

A “meh”-ish 3 stars. It was fine.

2. Don’t Eat the Pie by Monique Asher

This cover is chef’s kiss. This and the plot itself gave me some ideas for future Pie Parties lol (Dear Henry, make the top crust of the pie say “All Hail Queen Erin”). But truly, this book was kind of a snooze. I didn’t latch on to a single character. I also didn’t even care about the whys and hows. That’s….not great. Kind of Rosemary’s Baby-esque but not very well executed.

3. Sleep Tight by J.H. Markert

*HIT THE BUZZER!* Next.

4. Incidents Around the House by Josh Malerman

YO 5 STARS. This was included in Spotify Premium and as soon as I started listening, my immediate reaction was, “Ugh, this is narrated from a child’s POV” and thought FOR SURE that the voice would drive me insane. Yet somehow, I withstood it and thank god because this one was actually chilling. The horror book I have been searching for! Perfect for October, creepy AF, also kind of funny at times. My ONLY gripe is that the way  the parents (especially the mom) talked to the kid. I think she was supposed to be 8 and they were slinging some Big Thinks around. I mean, I always patted myself on the back for talking to Chooch like I would talk to anyone else, totally eschewing baby talk, but this was reminiscent of watching Dawson’s Creek back in the day and screaming, “WE DO NOT TALK TO EACH OTHER LIKE THAT!” I thought that was kind of bizarre.

Actually, I just saw this in someone’s Goodreads review and it is very spot-on: “the author wrote the 8 year old like she was 4. meanwhile adults are having full on conversations with her like she is their co worker.”

However, the plot was just THAT GOOD that I didn’t let this drag the score down.

5. Gray After Dark by Noelle W. Ihli

I truly do not know how this absolute garbage disguised as a book has such a high average on Goodreads because it felt like it was written by a middle schooler. Repetitive. Boring. One dimensional characters. I appreciate that it was based on a true story but I think I would rather read a non-fiction account of it. Cringey. Poorly-written. The captors name one of the girls RUTHIE SUE? Get this cornball trash out of my face. Ugh I actually got so angry thinking about this drivel.

6. All This & More by Peng Shepherd

Really cool concept, reimagined Choose Your Own Adventure, but it got kind of boring and also confusing. I didn’t want to choose either option most of the time lol.

7. Horror Movie by Paul Tremblay

This started off strong, but then I got bored. 3 stars but honestly his books are usually pretty mid to me.

8. Docile: Memoirs of a Not-So-Perfect Asian Girl by Hyeseung Song

Loved it! Apparently, a memoir was just what I needed.

9. So Thirsty by Rachel Harrison

OK I am a big fan of Harrison’s writing and have given all of her books 4-5 stars. I love her modern takes on classic horror tropes. AND I LOVE VAMPIRES so this should have been an easy 5 for me. Henry and I listened to the audiobook on the way to Chicago for the Seventeen concert, and finished it on the way home so in that regard this book will always feel cozy and warm to me when I think about it. And Harrison’s writing was, as per usual, snappy and quick-witted. I love how she writes her dialogue and I love how her main characters always have a sort of “ugh what now” attitude about them. This one was no exception. I loved Sloane, but her BFF Naomi was so fucking grating. I get it – she was supposed to be loud and obnoxious, a total party monster but I hated hated hated the voice that the narrator gave her. It went right through me every time, especially since we had to listen to it with the volume up fairly loud to combat highway noise.

I would give the first half of the book 4 stars, maybe even 4.5. It was fun and kept us interested, and the when the vamps finally enter the picture, shit got fucking hysterical. But the second half was a slog. The pacing was weird, it felt like it stalled out. There were times when I couldn’t even remember what the plot was anymore  – was there a thing that they working up to, etc.? So I gave that half a 2.75.

3 stars overall and I will definitely still be reading her books, but you know, you can’t please everyone every time.

10. Diavola by Jennifer Marie Thorne

LOL dude. 4 stars, one of the quirkiest and most fun haunted house books I’ve ever read! I love love love that it was set in a small Italian village, I loved the dysfunctional family dynamics, I loved hating the brother’s brother, I loved rooting for the main character every time her family treated her like a black sheep tag-along.

And then once the hauntings started happening, it was equal parts chilling and STILL FUNNY.

Eventually, the setting changes to NYC and the book lost a little bit of its charm for me then, but overall, 4 stars.

11. Every Last Secret by A.R. Torre

I hated this. One of the most boring domestic thrillers with two catty bitches fighting over one man who, aside from being a mega millionaire, was SUCH A BORING ASSHOLE. This was not good but I was in need of an audiobook to accompany me on my walks and this was the best I could do in a pinch.

12. We Should Have Left Well Enough Alone by Ronald Malfi

Short stories. The first one started the book off with a bang, I loved it so much and this is going to sound like I’m giving myself way more credit than I ever deserve, but it reminded me of those idiotic short stories I used to write on here back in the day before my job and life in general sapped every last ounce of creativity from my brain? Those days?

Yeah anyHOO. Some stories were poppin’, some were….droppin’. You know what I mean. There was one about a foster kid that tags along with a trio of kids from the neighborhood for trick-or-treating and that one was definitely the perfect nostalgic Halloween vibes that I needed, you know, on Halloween. But some were really drawn out with little pay off at the end.

I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE YOU WANT ME TO SAY.

That’s all of the books I read in October.

…because I can’t remember. How effing sad is that. I would like to get a brain scan someday. Not like I’d know what I’m looking at but like…are parts of it melted?

1. Grim Root by Bonnie Jo Stufflebeam

Oh this was SO BAD. I definitely remember this because as soon as I saw the cover, my face involuntarily twisted into a scowl of disgust. Basically a Bachelor-type reality show films on location at a haunted house. The writing was so bad, like juvenile fanfic. Caricature-like characters, no one really to root for, cringey dialogue. I get that sometimes books are just meant to be read for fun and not to critique its depth, weight, or social commentary, but this wasn’t even that. 2 stars – being generous there. No jams.

2. The Good House by Tananarive Due

No THIS is how you do the haunted house trope. Due’s writing is rich and immersive. Descriptive but never boring. That’s a gripe I have with horror novels oftentimes – they’re 500+ pages because so much of it is atmosphere-building and let’s be real -that shit can be a snooze after a while. But this wasn’t that. A unique take on magic, family history, and haunted grounds. I was crying by the end of it.

I had to give it a 4 though because it didn’t bowl me over like The Reformatory did – that was a solid 5 and set the bar for Tananarive Due’s books for me from here on out.

3. The Night Guest by Hildur Knútsdóttir

Super quick read – chilling, but TRIGGER WARNING for cat deaths :( This broad is doing some concerning and mysterious things in her sleep – waking up with 40,000 steps on her health tracker, random bruises, blood of unknown origin on her hands. I was down for this.

(Just wish it didn’t have the cat stuff in it.)

4. Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

OMG people FREAK OUT over this book but I found it to be boring, not scary, and it had me rolling my eyes quite a few times. Almost all of my Goodreads pals gave this 4 stars. Did we read the same book? It was a low 3 for me and I was considering even dropping it down to 2.5. As a fan of horror, this didn’t even come close to getting the job done for me. Great cover though.

5. The Lake House by Sarah Beth Durst

Was this YA? If so, I don’t think I realized it when I requested it from the library. I thought the cover was compelling and haunting so I was stoked for this! Sadly, it was not what I was expecting. Essentially a deserted island survival tale with three teenage girls who, as expected, were completely annoying on the page. Pretty lame, overall.

6. My Lovely Wife by Samantha Downing

OK!  Here we go, things are heating up! This domestic thriller was SO GOOD. A true page-turner. Exciting. Great writing. I had a ton of fun reading this and isn’t that the whole point of reading!? I lose sight of that a lot lately.

7. Evocation (The Summoner’s Circle, #1) by S.T. Gibson

2 stars, barely. I had heard that this is like the Raven Boys series but for adults and I was really into this at first but it went downhill for me. Not dark enough. Confusing. Cringey. Insufferable characters.  I lost interest and once the big climax happened, I had forgotten what the plot even was lol.  On top of all that, it felt like I had started reading this in the middle of the series – like there was some strained history with some of the characters that was alluded to like it was supposed to have already been pre-known coming into this book. I won’t be continuing this series.

Also, people keep salivating over the cover but I think it’s fugly.

Raven Boys forever. This is not that.

8. The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman

Admittedly, at a certain point, I no longer knew what was going on but hello, this is Neil Gaiman and it was also narrated by him so it was very cozy and dreamy.

9. The Rich People Have Gone Away by Regina Porter

OK, I’m not usually excited about COVID novel but this one was wild. Enviable writing; captivating, interesting and flawed characters; satisfying moments when you realize whose stories connect. This book was unique and a solid 5 stars from me, Kiki.

10. The Main Character by Jaclyn Goldis 

Wow, this was…how do I say…..um. Far-fetched yet lacking entertainment. I don’t care to say anything else about this.

11. Meddling Kids by Edgar Cantero

3.5. This was really fun and the writing was so quirky. Scooby Doo-meets-The Monster Squad vibes. (Also, that cover is exquisite!!)

12. The Clinic by Cate Quinn

3 stars. I finished this in the car on the way to Long Island for the DREAMIE concert and Henry was like, “What is it about” and I honestly didn’t even care to explain. Um, that is still the case.

13. How to Sell a Haunted House by Grady Hendrix

A GRADY HENDRIX BOOK THAT I ACTUALLY LIKED??? Holy shit. It’s true. This was so close to being a 5 star read for me. I love the sibling dynamics. I actually FELT SCARED a few times which is a really hard feat when it comes to me and horror books because I am such a snob. But also, on top of everything, this was just a FUN TIME. I actually stopped at one point and had to make sure I wasn’t reading a T. Kingfisher book though because that is what this reminded me of – I love her (his? their?) quirky take on family dysfunction-meets-horror.

14. Summer of Night (Seasons of Horror, #1) by Dan Simmons

And then I finished the month with a 5-star horror book written in the early 1990s but set in the 1960s. Very Stephen King-ish, coming-of-age horror about a group of boys that ranged in age from 8 to 12, if I remember correctly, trying to figure out what the FUCK is going on at their now-abandoned school and across the whole town. Disliked the dog deaths. Why do pets have to die in fucking horror books?? It is so unnecessary. But overall, I was really into this book. However, remember what I said earlier in this post about how horror novelists in particular tend to get way too wordy when it comes to setting the scene, building the suspense, knitting the ambiance? Yeah, this one was like that. It would be swathes of text describing the layout of a fucking cornfield, like a book can’t get the HORROR stamp on it unless it pushes 500 pages, so we get a bunch of dry paragraphs that threaten to pull you out of the zone after a point. Or…is that just me? I want dialogue. I’m a talky-type of reader.

**********

Well, that’s all for September. Hopefully I get some scary reads in this month!?

I have reached the next mood phase of whatever….THIS….is that I have been going through for the last few months / year. And that is extreme irritability and agitation. Literally I’m so pissed off about everything, so mad at everyone, just so annoyed and let down.

And you know what else I’m bad about? Books. I just want to be rocked to my core by a book and that really hasn’t been happening much this year. Is it me, not them? WHO CAN BE SURE.

That being said, here’s the lineup of books from August and if I am remembering correctly, most aren’t even worth mentioning.

1. Foolish: Tales of Assimilation, Determination, and Humiliation by Sarah Cooper

LOL well I lied because right off the bat was this 4-star memoir by Sarah Cooper, whom I LOVE and this was never going to be less than 4 stars for me. Biased. If you don’t know who she is, she is a comedian, writer, and actor who used to work in the tech industry and went viral at the beginning of the pandemic for her HYSTERICAL Trump lip-sync videos on TikTok and Instagram. I fangirled immediately and even though she no longer does the Trump vids, I have no regrets and have never looked back. She is such a character. This kept me rapt and entertained from start to finish.

2. Heaven’s Crooked Finger (Earl Marcus #1) by Hank Early

I think I had one hour left to the audio and I just couldn’t do it. This book was so dry.

3. Best Friends Forever by Jennifer Weiner

Worst Weiner I’ve ever had read. It was a whole lotta WTFs and then we had POV chapters from characters that shouldn’t have been given the stage. Clunky. Not memorable at all.

4. We Were the Universe by Kimberly King Parsons

OK now that I’m getting into this recap, I’m realizing that August wasn’t a write-off (HAHA a pun HAHAHA) after all because this book got me good. 4.5 stars, weird, wacky, uncomfy. The writing was absolutely nuts. Loved it. Kimberly King Parsons, you are on my radar, babe.

5. Go Home, Ricky! by Gene Kwak

Dude, I loved this one too! 5 stars! The only bad thing about this book is that I was reading it to and from Chicago which was such a bipolar, dysfunctional, traumatic trip so I do pair those associations with the reading journey. But not even that can take away from how much I enjoyed this story, the writing, the characters!! This played out so vividly in my head like an irreverent dark comedy series. Make room for Kwak on my radar, Parsons.

6. The Resort by Sara Ochs

I’m taking a pass on this one. It was boring.

7. NCT 127: Limitless by NCT 127

An NCT127 manhwa?? Hell yes. 4 stars because it was kind of like….huh? And I couldn’t tell who was supposed to be who but it’s NCT127 so any NCTzen is going to like it. (The Kpop industry is OBSESSED with dreams as a concept though, I will tell you that much.)

8. I Hope This Finds You Well by Natalie Sue

This was fine but didn’t make me want to Q-Tip my imaginary dickhole over it. I saw this compared to Elenor Oliphant and I would agree because the main character is a bit unlikeable and very socially awkward. Almost the entire book takes place in an office and that felt kind of suffocating at times. I was excited when there was an impromptu trip to a bowling alley at one point.

9. House of Glass by Sarah Pekkanen

Creepy concept featuring a creepy kid but the ending wasn’t as….creepy as I wanted. There was a lot of extraneous detail with side relationships and characters that had no pay off and didn’t add much to the plot in whole so that was frustrating. But overall, I didn’t chuck it across the road when I finished. (Probably because I listened to the audio and had nothing to chuck. My headphone! I could have chucked those. But I didn’t because this didn’t inspire any angry, chuck-inducing tendencies within me.)

10. She Started It by Sian Gilbert

1 star. You’ve read this before. Probably at least a dozen times. Tired ass bully mean girl revenge Agatha Christie trope. It was vapid. All of the characters were cut from the same cardboard. The twist didn’t shock and awe me.

11. Midnight on Beacon Street by Emily Ruth Verona

Most compelling thing about this book is the cover.

So much potential. FAILED. I thought this was going to be fun nostalgic slasher romp but it was fucking stupid and a total waste of time.

12. The Husbands by Holly Gramazio

I had no idea what this was about until I started reading it so when The Thing happens (and it happens in the first chapter) I was like, “Oh. OK!” and I think had I known, I would have skipped because it’s borderline scifi / time fuckery which I try to lean away from but THIS. THIS I liked. It was crazy and fast-paced and also, I felt mildly panicked while reading it too because it was like being in a loop and that is a fear. The loop. Getting stuck. But I enjoyed this, the writing was snappy and funny, and I gave it 4.

13. We Used to Live Here by Marcus Kliewer

Did I understand this? No. Did it give me the creeps? Yep. 4 stars. Read it and then explain it to me please.

It’s billed as Get Out meets Parasite and I didn’t get that vibe at all. Also, I just saw that Netflix picked this up and BLAKE LIVELY is going to be in it. PASS.

14. City of Likes by Jenny Mollen

This was wild. I definitely felt again like I was watching some very messy Girls-esque series on HBO but with young NYC moms and one of them was a legit momfluencer who I couldn’t stop picturing my ex-friend Seri as because this bitch was so full of shit and insufferable and toxic….just like Seri! I did not see The Thing That Happened Near the End coming AT ALL and I actually screamed and then cheered in a really sick, guilty, depraved manner. I gave it 4 stars because it was a fun, pleasurable read. Maybe it wasn’t super memorable, but it was different and a good way to end the month. Also, I had no idea who this writer was until I got to the acknowledgements and it was her and her husband going back and forth (I listened to this on audio) and there was something about it that made me stop and say – wait, who actually are these people? So I looked her up on IG and she is actually an actore I guess? And her husband is Jason Biggs and OMG I’m dying now because I just saw that she was actually on Girls, LOL. That checks.

***********************

The end.

Today’s big news is that I had to walk to the library and pick up the NINE (9!!!!!) books that came in all at once. This never happens! Usually I am waiting forever for a book and end up getting some lame bottom tier audio book to tide me over and all it does is make me angry.

Anyway, I had to make Henry go with me because I needed to use TWO tote bags and I wanted him to pretend like one stack was his but he wouldn’t play along.

I was afraid the librarians would give me stern looks for checking out so many books at once, but then thought, “well, they never acknowledge me so maybe they won’t notice” but for the first time ever, one of them broke the 4th wall and said to us from behind their glass, “hi guys, there’s a free jazz concert going on here if you’re interested” and I FROZE mid-book scan. (I always use self checkout FYI.)

Anyway, he didn’t seem to care and Henry was like “why WOULD they care though, they WANT people to read?!” But I swear some of the librarians there give me bad vibes plus Chooch used to always come home when he was a kid and bitch about them so I just feel very UNDER A SPOTLIGHT when I’m there if you know what I mean. And like they’re just LOOKING for something to scold me for.

Well, here’s my big boi book stack and I am so excited to be a shut-in for the next week or so to tear through these!

(The two on the right are ones I already had checked out, ugh, I’m drowning.)

So, my cat Drew died on July 1 and you can imagine that my reading month was pretty fucked – books I might have liked in another lifetime were a chore to get through, books that were only slightly not great were like a blight on the entire history of literature.

1. We Used To Live Here by Daniel Hurst

I started this book the morning of July 1. Approximately 4 hours later, my cat would be dead. That is all I have to say about this book.

2. I Know You by Annabel Kantaria

I didn’t like this and don’t feel like discussing.

3. Listen for the Lie by Amy Tintera

I think I liked this but now I can’t remember. (Just checked Goodreads – yes, I liked it.)

4. Soul Comfort for Cat Lovers: Coping Wisdom for Heart and Soul After the Loss of a Beloved Feline by Liz Eastwood

My brother Corey sent me this book and while I don’t ever read self-help type books, this was so helpful and comforting. It inspired me to be proactive in the grief process – yes, I have definitely 100% been allowing myself to collapse into a puddle of tears, and this happens at least once a day still, but I’m not sure I would have found the motivation to actively seek out support through my friends, find and attend an actual pet grief support meeting, and most importantly – find myself a therapist. I can tell you that I still feel like absolute shit, but I have to imagine that I would feel even worse if none of these steps were taken.

This book also gave me hope that Drew is here somewhere, or there somewhere, and that I will meet her again (I am choking on grief as I type this – last night and this morning were tough and I thought I felt her getting onto the bed and want to believe that it was really her).

5. The Paradise Problem by Christina Lauren

Christina Lauren romps are usually just what my desiccated heart needs, but this one really fell flat for me. I wanted more paradise, less problems, I guess. I don’t know.

6. The Things We Do to Our Friends by Heather Darwent

I gave this 1 star because it was absolute trash. Shitty writing, shitty characters. BORING. What a waste of a beautiful cover.

7. While We Were Burning by Sara Koffi

Another case of the cover is better than the book.

8. The Southern Book Club’s Guide to Slaying Vampires by Grady Hendrix

I have hated every Grady Hendrix I’ve read, and this was no exception. Such a snooze. Sloppy plot development. TW for animal stuff. Shock value overload. His writing is actually so bad, you guys.

9. The Perfect Marriage by Jeneva Rose

OK finally a book I enjoyed. I picked this up after reading the author’s most recent release, as this is the one that put her name on the map I guess. Plus, Megan had already read it and loved it and it’s about to be turned into a movie I think? It was twisty and provided the escape that I was desperately seeking (Susan).

Also, I started following Jeneva on Instagram and she is effortlessly hilarious which makes me appreciate her books that much more.

10. Every Last Fear by Alex Finlay

I haven’t liked any of this guy’s books I’ve previously read, but this one surprised me. A compelling family mystery / thriller that actually didn’t make me cringe or roll my eyes. My book reviews are good.

11. Bad Men by Julie Mae Cohen

Witty, dark, and entertaining! The body count wasn’t as high as I would have liked, but I really enjoyed the murderess. A tad predictable but it was still a fun read, one that I would have probably enjoyed a whole lot more if life wasn’t so wrecked currently.

I meant to post this on Sunday but seeing as how I cried 3/4 of the day like my face is a fucking salt water sprinkler, that didn’t happen. Today marks 2 weeks. Nothing is helping.

Well. Here are the books I read in June which feels like an eternity ago at this point and who the fuck even cares really – I know I sure don’t.

1. The Band by Christine Ma-Kellams

I almost DNFd this. If you don’t like Kpop or are at least mildly interested in Korean culture, I can’t imagine this book would be very appealing. It’s VERY CLINICALLY/ACADEMICALLY written at times and even though it was rife with dry humor and wit, it was still almost too dry. I did end up really enjoying it though once I reached the pivotal moment where the book’s narrator (I believe she was meant to be based on the writer herself), runs into the canceled member of a Kpop boy group in a California H-Mart. From there, the book really picks up, there is way more dialogue and less gigantor blocks of text full of long-ass sentences with that dreaded “assigned reading” feel.

It was extremely smartly written which made a lot of sense when I read the author’s bio at the end. (Harvard-trained cultural psychologist / college professor lol. That checks.)

2. Mother-Daughter Murder Night by Nina Simon

It was fine but forgettable.

3. With or Without You by Caroline Leavitt

Barely remember reading this. I think I was in between library books and grabbed this on Everand. It was quick and OK. I wasn’t invested in any of the characters so didn’t care one way or another if the wife came out of the coma, which is what the whole book is about.

4. No One Can Know by Kate Alice Marshall

Shit, I have really loved some of her books but this was not one. I gave it 2 stars. I was bored. My Goodreads review just says “What even was this mess.”

5. Stay True by Hua Hsu

Memoir of a New Yorker staff writer that focuses mostly on his childhood best friend and a traumatic event surrounding that. I hadn’t really read the synopsis going in to this so I was expecting the thing to happen and it hit me hard. Wow, just like real life.

6. Between Us by Mhairi McFarlane

My second McFarlane book – loved it. Not a 5-star like “Just Last Night” was for me, but a solid 4. She writes such vivid, animated characters, and the conversations between them feels so real and natural. I wasn’t sure what direction this book was heading during the first third, but then it really picked up and I was into it.

7. My Darling Girl by Jennifer McMahon

Elderly mom who might be either be possessed or just a really shitty mom, etc. It was mildly entertaining but I will say the twist at the end got me.

8. The Vacancy in Room 10 by Seraphina Nova Glass

Two POVs and I kept mixing them up. I didn’t like this very much. Everything feels so predictable and generic to me anymore. Should I stop reading? I’m bored.

9. Home Is Where the Bodies Are by Jeneva Rose

This one was actually pretty good. Neighbor kid goes missing in the 90s. Dad of main characters’ family goes missing many years later. Present day – mom dies which brings all three siblings back to the family house and reopens the mystery of the missing kid and also where the hell is dad. I actually didn’t see the reveal coming and was pleasantly surprised. An entertaining thriller was just what I needed at the time. Seems so long ago now.

10. What If You & Me (Say Everything, #2) by Roni Loren

LOL I was halfway through this before I realized it was #2 in a series. Pretty stupid romance. I won’t be going back to read #1.

11. Middle of the Night by Riley Sager

I mean, at this point in my life, it’s tradition to read a new Riley Sager book in the summer. I am so LOVE/HATE with this guy’s books. I have read 1 stars from here where I actually have thrown the book across the room when I finished, and I have read 5 stars that I still think about sometimes! This one was…I think I gave it a 4 on Goodreads but I would say more honestly that it was a 3.5. It had a Goosebumps-For-Grownups feel to it. Another “missing neighborhood kid from the 90s” tale where I did NOT in any way predict the ending. It was a good summer mystery/thriller and I liked the dual timelines.

Also, his book covers have been SO GOOD lately.

12. Good in Bed (Cannie Shapiro, #1) by Jennifer Weiner

Meh. I generally enjoy Jennifer Weiner books and associate her with my first month of “getting back into regular reading” at the beginning of 2020 because her newest novel at the time was the first one I checked out of the library and I devoured it. But most of her books are kind of “more of the same.” This was is an older book of hers and it was fine. All of her main characters are plus-sized and the way she describes them, I picture every single one as Carnie Wilson but then at some point in this book, someone compares the main broad to Janine Garofalo and I’m like, “Babe….what.” So, that can sometimes get in the way of the story.

13. The Weekend Retreat by Tara Laskowski

This was so dumb. A bunch of rich fucking boring assholes who I kept mixing up. I wish I had not read this and just spent that extra time with Drew instead. Fuck this book. Fuck everything.

1. She’s Not Sorry – Mary Kubica

Love me a domestic thriller. This was almost a 4. I genuinely did enjoy it but the plot kind of went haywire at a certain point, almost like she had ideas for two books and then decided to smash it together into one. The one storyline was VERY predictable, not connected, and completely unnecessary. But the twist in the main plot was A GOODIE.

2. Funny Story – Emily Henry

OK, if this has been the first Emily Henry book I had ever read, then 5 stars, easy. But, Happy Place is the gold standard, as far as I’m concerned, and this just didn’t quite reach that level. So, solid 4 stars it is. Emily Henry writes the best side characters – every single one has a purpose, an intention, dialogue unique to their personality. I know I have said this before, but once upon a time, I went to college for English writing and this is the snappy, whippy, smart and sardonic dialogue that I used to strive for. You know, back when I “wrote.” Sigh. Emily Henry’s books are such a fun summertime escape for me and I really think that the only thing that would make them better would be if I was reading it poolside. In Wildwood, maybe. Nothing too fancy.

3. Nigh Watching – Tracy Sierra

Remember what I was just saying about Emily Henry’s knack for realistic, smart dialogue? This book ain’t that. It was FINE but also, what. Just a whole lotta gaslighting and WTF is happening now. It starts immediately with a home invasion and I was worried that the entire book was going to be married to this one event – the man searching the house, the mom and two kids hiding in the panic room. But, it does move on to other settings, and there are also flashback chapters.

This might be one of those times where the audiobook ruined the book for me. Narrator’s natural voice was fine but when she started doing other voices it was just annoying. There’s an entire chapter where the main lady’s voice is raspy and SHE DID THIS AWFUL VOCAL FRY-esque thing which was like the nails of influencers circa 2015 on a chalkboard.

Actually the book itself was pretty mid regardless.

4.  The Vacation House – Jane Shemilt

Yooooo. I picked this up on a whim from the library and almost DNF’d it because of a slow start. But man, this caught me off guard how much I loved it. A book about rapists getting their comeuppance. We love to read it.

Really frustrating to see how the victim’s family was completely torn apart while the perps went on to live their best lives, which is so often the case.

5.  Worry – Alexandra Tanner

I mean, one of the characters is a rescue dog named Amy Klobuchar, so that should clue you in to the irreverence that is Alexandra Tanner’s writing. Simultaneously made me glad that I’m not in my 20s living in NYC with a younger sister and also sad that I’m not in my 20s living in NYC with a younger sister. The trials and tribs! A multitude of LOL moments. Loved it. Would watch it if it became a TV show.

6.  Expiration Dates – Rebecca Serle

3.5 – this was a fun concept and quick read! This broad gets a magical slip of paper every time she meets a man that tells her how long the relationship will last, until she meets one where no expiration is given. I enjoyed this more than I imagined – thought it would just be a sappy romp, and I mean – that it was – but it also kind of hit.

7. Rebecca, Not Becky – Christine Platt and Catherine Wigginton Greene

I would have liked this better if I hadn’t listened to the audiobook, I think. This was interesting in that it was written jointly by a Black author and a white author, and centers around a Black female protagonist, and a white female protagonist who is on a constant  mission to prove that she is woke, and while she has all good intentions, it does tend to come off as performative – especially in the eyes of the Black character, whose family has just moved into a wealthy predominately white neighborhood. Lots of thought-provoking discussions on race and prejudice, and many uncomfortable moments as we watch Rebecca Not Becky go above and beyond to make a token Black friend.

But yeah, the audio narration was grating.

8. I Did It For You – Amy Engel

Holy shit, this one was a HOT MESS. 2 stars. Skip it. The “big reveal” was actually so fucking laughable.

Not to shame the Young Adult genre, but I actually had to to doublecheck Goodreads to see if this was YA because it felt like it was written for pre-teens. Nope. This burning sack of dog shit was meant for adult eyeballs.

9. Real Americans – Rachel Khong

Easy 5 stars. Solid. Will live in my head for years to come. I love a multi-generational immigrant saga. My favorite section was the first one though, following Lily, a Chinese American struggling to find her professional footing during Y2K times.

I read “Goodbye Vitamin” by Khong several years ago and that was also a 5-star. I have been waiting for this book since then and it was worth it. She is a phenomenal writer. Also? There is a touch of magical realism in this, as a bonus. Please read this.

(Holy shit, I just started to involuntarily sob as I thought about one of the final chapters, LOL, is the heat getting to me or is it just me being like OH HI I HAVE A HEART.)

10. They Call Us Enemy – George Takei

A graphic novel written by George Takei of Star Trek fame about his childhood days growing up in concentration camps in America during WWII. I cried so much reading this.

11. I Thought You Said This Would Work – Ann Garvin

Two old college friends (grudgingly) reunite on a roadtrip to get back their friend’s dog who was turned over to a shelter by her ex-husband. Oh, and the friend is in the hospital battling her second round of cancer. Aside from the cancer, this was a very silly romp of a book, lots of capers, lots of madcap action, lots of quirky characters picked up along the way. I rolled my eyes a lot but somehow, by the end of the book, I was like JESUS CHRIST and bawled my eyes out. All that silliness did nothing to prepare me, that’s for sure.

12. When Among Crows – Veronica Roth

An interesting Slavic fantasy, very quick read, and very obviously the beginning of a series. I did enjoy it but is 3 stars enough to continue on to the next book? I dunno. I think this might be a case where the audiobook could have enhanced my experience because I read that it’s a full cast, but I didn’t want to wait for it so I just read the physical version. Wow cool story Erin.

13. Hello Girls – Brittany Cavallaro and Emily Henry

A YA Thelma and Louise-ish? It was OK.

OK, I’m out. I got the new Riley Sager from the library today and I am excited to see if I love it or hate it, there’s never an in-between when it comes to me and Sager.

April was a blur and I barely remember reading any of these, but here are some books:

1. Wild Things by Laura Kay

Aw, I read this while in Korea. :( In hotel rooms, on trains, and on the plane – this was a pretty solid book to read while traveling. Not too terribly heavy, some good laughs, and a lot of collective “aw”s from the studio audience. A friend group move out to the country, buy a house together, raise chickens, and just kind of reset their lives. It made me want to flip my life on its head in a way, as well! Just…do something different. However! I wasn’t much of a fan of the protagonist. The other characters in the friend group were great but this broad was frustrating at times and didn’t have much of a personality.

Overall though, it was fun.

2. The Pachinko Parlour by Elisa Shua Dusapin

Apparently, I liked this because I gave it 4 stars but I don’t remember any of it, just that it was a very quick read.

3. The Hating Game by Sally Thorne

Dude, everybody in Book Land has read this book, it feels like. I have been hearing about it for years. I’m not a huge romance reader, but out of curiosity – and because the audiobook was available – I gave it a whirl. And OK, OK, I get it. The writing was pretty damn good, the characters were well fleshed out. It was like reading an edgy cable sitcom. I really enjoyed the banter between the two work nemeses for sure but also – that this kind of behavior was going on in an office was pretty unbelievable.

4. Normal People by Sally Rooney

Another famous book on booktube. I. Fucking. Hated. This. I hated both main characters. I hated the writing. I hated it all. It was boring, insipid, and I did not give a shit AT ALL about these two idiots – Marianne especially. I kept hoping she was going to die.

5. Spoiled Brats: Stories by Simon Rich

OK, I’m not generally into short story collections but this one was funny. The only story I didn’t like was the very first one because *animal stuff* but the rest were right up my alley (that is to say: idiotic). My favorite was “Sell Out” – I wanted more! Then I found out it had been made into a movie (An American Pickle) starring Seth Rogen and now I need to watch it.

6. I Who Have Never Known Men by Jacqueline Harpman

Three stars because the writing was fine but for me in particular, this story was not something I enjoyed. I mean, it’s about a bunch of women locked in a bunker who one day escape only to find that there is nothing left of the world. Is this really something meant to be enjoyed? I felt awful and uncomfortable – and hopeless – through the whole thing, and I guess that’s the point. My Goodreads review was a simple and succinct: “Bleak.”

7. The Day Tripper by James Goodhand

Ugh I forgot about this one. When will I get it through my thick head I just don’t like time travel. And I just didn’t like this book.

8. Weyward by Emilia Hart

First of all, can we take a moment to admire this exquisite book cover?

It’s the best part of the book.

I mean, the story itself was fine, but s l o w. There are three timelines and we’re following a different-but-related woman in each. I didn’t really prefer one over the other – each storyline had its merits and sluggy-sections. But I will say, the end was satisfying.

9. End of Story by A.J. Finn

Ugh. Not worth writing about. So hokey. 2 stars. Five stars for the author photo though, cute dog!

P.S. The audiobook was so fucking obnoxious.

10. Hello Beautiful by Ann Napolitano

4 stars. Sad, funny, cozy. Made me wish I grew up with a gaggle of sisters close to my age.

11. The Other Mothers by Katherine Faulkner

Three stars. Just a mid domestic thriller.

12. The Vacationers by Emma Straub

Not ground-breaking or even that memorable, but it was fun, chaotic, dysfunctional. Great characters. I want to go to Mallorca now. I will read more from Emma Straub. (Her dad – RIP – is my favorite horror writer!)

13. First Lie Wins by Ashley Elston

OK so a lot of this played out like some lame thriller TV show that Henry would be into but the end was SO GOOD. The last line especially. Love a good last line.

***

That’s all the page-flippin’ I did in April.