Oct 062008

Almost a year ago, I made the big scary leap from LiveJournal – my home since 2001 – to my own website. It was dark and lonely for awhile, and then there was the incident where Henry deleted some of my posts and I plugged his asshole with a stick of dynamite, but then everything calmed down and blogging became fun again. There’s not much interaction on here, as opposed to LiveJournal where I had a crowded friends list several years in the making, but I do like the fact that I feel less censored, like I can reveal more of myself. I found myself caught up in a clique that was all about who could be the bigger douche on the Internet; all about e-sucking the most dicks. I didn’t like that. It’s less about popularity now, and that’s a good thing. LiveJournal was like the devil to me.

However, sometimes I think, “It would be kind of cool to know who is actually reading this shit.” So please, if you read, let me know. It doesn’t mean I’ll expect you to be an active commentor from here to eternity. I won’t seek you out for bone marrow someday. Just give me a little shout out, tell me what you like about my blog, what you hate about my blog, what you’d like to see more of, etc.

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For instance, I was thinking the other day that I am probably going to make my Tweets private, since I only post them here for my own posterity anyway. I imagine they must be annoying to read.

So please, say hello. Tell me a fun fact about yourself. If you have a blog too, let me know so I can add you to my paltry blogroll.

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Give me a good soup recipe that I can slide under the locked steel kitchen door for Henry.

(If you’re reading this on the LJ feed, can you please comment over here for this one?

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I don’t always remember to go back and check the feed for comments! I’m a pain in the ass, I know. Henry reminds me daily! Sometimes HOURLY!)

  104 Responses to “Blogiversary”

  1. I’m sure you know I’m always reading ;)

  2. You know I read this thing and LOL at work and make myself awkward <3ing you! :)

  3. I always read, even if I don’t comment. <3

  4. I read! I do I do! Even the tweets!

    • I know you’re in PA now – when do we get to meet up?!

      • If I can ever get a job that pays me enough to actually pay rent, then I will hopefully be able to start saving enough money to buy food and gas and make the trip down. :) Until then, you’re always welcome to come here! I live in the shittiest little backwater town in PA. Actually, that’s a lie. I think there are two neighboring towns that are worse. :)

  5. ME!!!!!!!!!!!

    duh. i love everything about your blog…
    just fyi.

  6. Girl, you know I read. And-often aloud to the hubby.
    I would read it to my sweet little Lila, but I don’t want her picking up the word asshole. ;) However, I do let her drool (literally) over the photos of your son!

    Such a doll that Chooch!

    Our whole family loves you and your blog.

  7. I, an old-timer from the LJ days, read and I especially like your clandestine pictures of junkie neighbors. ;-)

  8. I read every entry even the tweets although I dont always understand them :P

  9. I read every entry, baby! I sometimes skim the tweets but I like how they fit into your other entries–they’re sortof a timestamp on the events in the paragraphs on the “real” entries, you know?

    I do miss having you on LJ because I like the way the comments work there so much better.

    • I miss that part of LJ too. I miss having comment parties and feeling like I was included. Sometimes I think about coming back, but LJ as a whole just became too toxic for me. All it took was several bad eggs to spoil the whole thing, you know?

      Anyhow, you’re one of the few people who didn’t drop me when I left, so I appreciate that, Lisa. <3333

      • I wish there hadn’t been bad eggs but I only sorta-kinda even understand what that could possibly mean.

        How could I drop you? I love the way you write, and I totally dig you as a person. Baby. XOXO

        • I had a falling out with someone on LJ who had become a main player IRL. She even threw my baby shower. Anyway, we had a huge falling out and while I kept mum about it, she was busy dragging my name through mud on her LJ. We had a ton of mutual friends. Since I wasn’t publicly posting my side of the story, because come on — get a life, a lot of them dropped me and sided with her.

          She ended up pulling this same shit on two of my other close friends.

          It was like, every time I read my friends page after that, I would see her stupid name in the comments on a mutual friends LJ, or I would see one of her lame posts in a community. It was just kind of gross to me after awhile, especially seeing how quick people who didn’t even know either one of us IRL would be so quick to unfriend me.

          I don’t have to deal with that crap here.

    • Oh, yuck, one of THOSE. I get it now. Suck.

      Well, I miss you there, anyway. But only kinda, because I actually read you there! I just think I comment a lot less here than I would there.


  10. I can’t be held responsible for my uncommenting tendencies. I’m thinking about moving over to blogger for good though. Or WordPress. Time to grow the fuck up.

  11. I confess I do not read tweets. It is not just your tweets that I don’t read. I don’t read anyone’s tweets. The word “tweet” makes me think “twat”. So, there’s that.

    Here is what I like: your running anti-mom commentary. That’s why I started reading. Because I found your blog and said “hmmm. this lady sounds just like how I imagine I would feel about being a mother if some terrible disaster happened and my chosen method of birth control failed and I became A Mother: reluctant and still rather anti-social.” I also enjoy the photos of scenesters, even though I don’t actually like scenesters.

    Every single fact about myself is fun, so it’s hard to choose just one. I like to tell my boyfriend I’m “looking for work” or “I am working” when instead I’m developing a sick etsy habit and reading strangers’ blogs. That’s not really fun. Maybe kind of sad, really. But it’s a fact.

    • I never really expected people to actually read the tweet entries anyhow. I just want them here for my own posterity, so it’s all good!

      When I announced my pregnancy, the most popular reaction was, “Oh shit.” I think half of my friends expected me to give birth and suddenly conform to an EveryMother lifestyle. I think the other half expected me to fail miserably. I am so not a mother. At the playground, I stand on my own. I cringe when other mothers try to talk to me. It’s a scary society, motherhood.

      Etsy is so easy to get addicted to, isn’t it?? I could sit here for hours and go through shops. I like to click on the favorites of a random seller and go through all of those too. It feels almost perverted, like I’m going through their underwear drawer.

      The one drawback of my new job is that I actually WORK! My last one, I spent 75% of the time writing in my blog and e-shopping.

  12. Of course I’m still here! Sometimes I have to skim because of recent time restraints, but I’ll be back full time soon. In the mean time, I kind of enjoy some of your tweets, cause some are really hilarious!

  13. I don’t read tweets (ever) but I read everything else because of how awesome it all is. And the photography is wicked cool. I just never comment, even in my native lands of LJ.

    A fun fact? Every time I hit the “refresh” button on any web browser, I’m pronouncing it “Re-French” in my head and I HAVE NO IDEA WHY!

    Five minutes to edit?? That’s madness!

  14. Present!

  15. I’m reading….

  16. I’m still reading!!

  17. I’m always reading! In fact, sometimes I read your posts aloud to Dustin because I think they are so great!

  18. I love your blog, AND I love your Tweets. KEEP THEM UP!

  19. I don’t always read the tweets (that’s because I’m always rushing and I tell myself I’ll get back to it) but I read everything else! I adore you and your writing. Don’t change a thing. You’re my very favorite blogger!!! Maybe I’ll get a tshirt that says “PROUD ERIN FAN”. :)

  20. I always read your stuff Erin. In fact, your entries are pretty well the only ones that make me double over with gut-hurt from laughing so hard. Keep writing – I practically demand it.

  21. i read. you know that.

    also, here’s a fun fact.

    i’ve noticed i’ve been saying “asshole” a lot more lately and i attribute it completely to chooch, despite the fact that i have never actually met him.

  22. I read your blog daily, my e-mail tells me when you’ve posted something new and I feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
    Seriously, your blog is the only non-LiveJournal blog I keep up with.
    By the way, your kid gets cuter every time I see him! :^)
    PS: I <3 Tweets!

  23. I read faithfully, and I love the tweets! Don’t hide them or whatever you said you were gonna do!

    I wish you had more random picture Sundays. I love photography and yours are always so haunting. Love it. Love everything about your blog. And my daughter is named Riley, so we have that connection.

    I really enjoys those strange times when I am looking at, oh say vagina cookies and my husband looks over and says “What is that??” Then I have to read him the blog and he just looks at me for a long time, blinking. He doesn’t get it, but I do and thats what makes me special. (My daughter is special too, cuz she gets it.)

    Fun fact about me? I’m a country girl, a born mother, an avid cook, a Christian….. yet I feel a strange bond with you. Maybe you are my inner (demon)child come to life?? Lol Anyway, keep it coming, I love it all!

    (How many times did I say love in this post? You know you were counting)

    • You’re so nice!

      Thank you for what you said about my photography. It’s my favorite thing that I do, and I’m always glad when someone likes it. :)

      I always get along better with the people that are the complete antithesis of me! Tow of my bestest friends (BuenoMexican/Christina and my friend Lisa) are Christian. I mean, they’re so Christian that they went to Christian colleges. But I love them! And somehow they aren’t offended by me. I think it’s because deep down, I wish I had some sort of religion in my life, and because I don’t know how to handle that, I make fun of it.

      I’m glad you’re back – I missed you on LJ!

  24. I read!

  25. You know I read on the daily. My favorite part of your blog is your fiction. You need to post more of that! It gives me nightmares!

    I also love your tweets and photos and reading about all of your hijinx!

  26. Hey girl! I just found you on etsy- but think your stuff is frickin hilarious. If you ever get a hankerin for some eco-friendly dolls- check out my etsy too!

    • Hi, nice to meet you! Your shop is adorable, man. I hearted one of the tooth dolls. I figure, my son was so quick to get his teeth, they could potentially start falling out any day now!

  27. I am a random lurker…my name is crusher(or jen) I too have a love for scene kids and I think you’re funny and random(two things I pride myself in being)

    random fact about me…I play roller derby and got headbutted in the face at a game and lost my front tooth.

  28. ME!

    though I must admit I sometimes skip the tweets

    • I don’t blame you for skipping the tweets! They are mostly non-sensical.

      I’m super glad that we met and that you decided to comment that one day last winter. I like interacting with you!

      • oh the feeling is mutual! and how could I pass up the opportunity to bash Ryan?

        We should do it more. It just doesnt get old (I DO NOT CARE HOW LAME THAT IS!)

        oh god it’s late

        where did the flavour packet for my instant noodles go, I ask you. It should be here.

        I’ll eat them plain

        AND RAW

        (I never eat shit like this but I’m on mini vacation today and tomorrow. My food rules don’t apply, thusly. My mouth has thanked me. My stomache hates me for all this abuse and is trying to punish me for it my causing pain. But I laugh at it as I eat more rice krispie squares and 6hr old pizza! HA)

        wtf is with this comment

        I should go to bed

        • I think this is my new favorite comment. A total winner!!

          We should def. bash him more. Did I ever tell you about the one game night I had where he bitched at my friend Janna for bringing STORE BOUGHT guacamole (the nerve!!!) but strangely enough, it never left his lap the whole night.

  29. i still read over in LJ lands (___badnews).

  30. Your tweets come to my phone. Double the cracking up.

    My ex bf shits his pants, but he brought us together, and for that I will always be grateful.

  31. Yep, yep, I’ll always read. Even, usually, the twitters. It’s people like you who keep me visiting my LJ f-list even though I’m not much of an updater myself.

  32. i’m always reading over on lj.

    (from jennnifer81 on lj)

  33. seamus sent me.

  34. well, how i hate to be #45! i found you on accident recently-was randomly poking around etsy (i make stuff too)and thought i would try the ‘shop locally’ thing-so etsy is geograpically challenged-it seems to think pittsburg, ks is near pittsburgh, pa-ha ha HA i enjoy your paintings, mostly the stories with the paintings :) then i tried to show my husband ‘phallictown’ (?) ’cause who doesn’t wannna see that, right? and it was gone-but he did enjoy the std cookies, tho. basically, i thought it would be fun to get bizarre and random email from someone i don’t know-mission accomplished!

  35. hey! i’ve been reading your blog for several months now. i had seen your lj username on a friend of a friend’s friend page and had to check out your site! what i like most about your blog is your sarcastic sense of humor and the story posts you do. also, i like the tweet posts a lot.

    about me: i’m a senior at indiana university studying english, gender studies, and nonprofit management. i work at the kinsey institute library and the main library on campus and had planned to study library science after i finish my undergrad degree. however, i recently decided that i want to be a bike messenger instead. my family is pissed, ha ha.

    also, i recently changed my name, too. its really empowering!

    • It’s nice to meet you, Taylor! I’m glad you found me:)

      You sound very interesting! What made you decide to want to be a bike messenger? I always thought that would be so fun, if not dangerous.

      What did you change your name to/from? It IS empowering!

  36. You already know I’m here.

  37. I’m from lj days but I read you here rather than through the feed. I skip the tweets but read everything else. I’m especially enamored of your fiction and paintings (indeed the one I ordered sits jauntily above our kitchen sink). I keep an lj but I don’t post there often.

    I fantasize about stealing other people’s landscaping. For example there is a little strip mall near our house with some great ornamental grasses that I think would look fantastic at my house. I often fancy boulders. And trees. And the Starbucks in town has this flowering bush that would look great here.

    • I am so happy that you like my stories and paintings, and that you still read even though I’m not on LJ anymore. Thank you so much!

      What an interesting thing to know about you! I don’t ever think of STEALING landscape, but I do admit there are times when I see a house and am so jealous of how well-kept the yard is. Our yard is absolute shit, I swear. It’s so small, but Henry STILL lets it get out of control.

      • You know, the only reason I don’t read the tweets is that the formatting makes my head hurt. Probably I’m just too old :)

        See, I plan the way I would steal it – under cover night? would I need equipment? Is is close enough to drive the tractor there or would I need to somehow convince several burly men to help? Could I be seen from the road? Tree farms off the highway especially intrigue me.

        That whole thing about men doing yard work? Total myth. Lazy bastards.

  38. I’ve been reading your blog daily for years. I found it when it was featured on The Pittsburgh Bloggers site. I was originally attracted to your LJ name, Vagina Fondue. I was like, ewwwwwwww. Then I found you on Myspace, Pickled Tampons, again ewwwwwwwwwwww. I knew instantly that I liked you.

    When I got to meet you IRL last year at Scarehouse, I was so excited. Then I got to come to Game Night. I think if we lived closer, I would totally hang out with you on a regular basis since we have the same sick sense of humor that most people find abnormal.

    Fun fact about me, my Mom took me to my first concert when I was in fifth grade. She took me to see Gloria Gaynor, who openend for The Village People!

    • Trust me, I wish we lived closer too. I even said that to Henry after you left my game night last year. I felt like you were someone that I would be comfortable enough to punch in the arm while laughing, you know? Does that make sense? Lol.

      Did you enjoy seeing Gloria Gaynor? That’s such a good fun fact! My first concert was Bon Jovi when I was in eighth grade. I didn’t really want to go but my aunt Sharon was a big fan and begged me to go with her. I ended up having fun, but it was mostly because there were so many crazy people there to watch.

      By the way! I’m already planning my thirtieth birthday party for next July – it’s going to be a zombie prom and you have to come!!







    • SHIT I wish you lived in Pittsburgh!!!!

      • haha I don’t!
        nothing personal, I just don’t ever see myself living in pittsburgh.

        Unless you invite me over for a game night. I will be there.

        And I won’t steal your camera or insult food offerings (and then eat them all) or force people to drive me places. I will not mention john waters movies unless directly asked. I love all music so I wont take a giant shit on your living room floor if blondie is played (or not played). I wont question your parenting skills (chooch = adorable and NOT dead so I think you’re doing a bang-up job). I’m not a delusional fuck head who is unable to see that all my lifes problems are directly connected to my OWN behaviour.

        But I WILL cause (fake)e-drama after just for lols because we all live for that shit, yeah?

        and thusly, I will reaffirm your social circle’s faith in internet peoples (and/or homos) after ryan did such a fabulous job of smearing our good name!

        And that is all that ever needs to be said.


  40. I think I remember who you’re talking about; we may have been mutually friended at the time and I don’t remember why I unfriended her. I actually found her through another friend, vinegarjones, aka killbillydeluxe, who started his own little drama on LJ and then disappeared.

    Anyway, I read this thing religiously, and all the others (Hoovers, Chooch’s, etc.) on LJ and it’s like my daily fix. I check a few times a day to see if you’ve posted, and I actually like the tweets, even though I’m too old to get all the hip references.

    I don’t comment all that much because I have nothing clever to say!

    • Yes, it’s probably who you’re thinking of then! I remember being afraid that you were going to drop me too, and then being confused and surprised when you didn’t. She really got a lot of people to turn on me. I hadn’t even been made to feel like that big of a pariah in HIGH SCHOOL.

      I remember killbilly. Wasn’t he scamming people? Getting people to donate money to him or something? He was on my list for a little while too. Crazy!

      I’m glad you’re still around even though I bailed on LJ. I really like you!

      • The funny thing is, I don’t remember a single thing being said. I might have been filtered out of it. I think I just got unfriended first. You were much more interesting.

        Killbilly was involved with a 19 year old girl (he was around 30) he met on LJ and she went to Canada to see him and then after that, it fell apart. She was attacking people who said things about him and then he dumped her and got involved with someone else from LJ and then he just left LJ. He’s on Lastfm, but that’s about it.

  41. It’s me “Calamity Jane” from DC days. I’ve been reading this for less than a year. I’ll admit, I was a total asshole back in the day but somehow I came upon your site (through DC myspace, maybe? I don’t really remember) and read some posts and absolutely loved them. I think (and you know) that you are hysterical and your posts tickle something in my degenerate little soul.

  42. As a side note, I love your tweets. When you post them, I’ll read them first and then scroll back and read your blog posts. It takes something special to slag on someone/something with much humor in less than 156 characters.

  43. Holy sheep dip! 86 comments?! I’m so envious. I remember there was a time when I could get large numbers of comments… but that was, well another life, really. When I had my first domain and I was young and fresh when the whole “blog” thing was new and “in.” I guess it’s still “in” now, but in a different sense. I always feel so old and out of date now blogging. But, anyhow. I’m glad I stumbled across your blog, because – although I may not comment as much as I’d like to – I love coming here and reading your stuff, because it always makes me laugh. You have a way with words, you know. You make me want to write more.

    Not that I actually WILL, of course, but the want is still there.


    Jessa´s last blog post..Hookie

  44. I’m reading, and I read the tweets too. =)

  45. I’m here. I don’t remember the first time I stumbled across your LJ but I read every word. You have a quirky world view that cracks me up! I’m enjoying my little voyeurism as you are raising Cooch. In many ways it reminds me of my relationship with my own son. He’s 16 now and hasn’t been arrested yet, so there’s hope.

    Comment on this two weeks late is par for the course for me. I am either writing prolifically or not at all… and right now is a “not at all” phase. Like Jessa above, I tend to feel Old & Out of Date when I’m blogging.

    Well that’s my story & I’m sticking with it.

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