One thing about me that hasn’t changed since probably 2003 or 2004 is that I will NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE ON NYE. You can’t make me. I like to stay in, be cozy, not get social anxiety, and most importantly – avoid drunk drivers.

Plus, we got some heavy snow this year on NYE so even more reasons to stay in! Chooch was happy because we played some dumb game he got for Christmas called Hitster which he quickly realized he hated because I was REALLY GOOD AT IT. Basically, you can a QR code on a card and when the song plays, you have to correctly place it in the timeline you’ve created from other cards you’ve won. It gets progressively harder the more cards you accumulate.

You can also win a “token” if you correctly guess the name of the song and artist. Chooch made fun of me bigly because one of his songs was “Let it Be” and he goes, “Oh the hit Let It Be by Corsby Stills and Nash” as a throwback to when Corey and Kevin were here Thanksgiving weekend. I don’t think I wrote about this but it has been HAUNTING ME ever since so here goes.

Deep breath.

Exhale.

OK, we were playing that Songs of 80s and 90s Humming Game that I love so much. One of mine was “any song by Madness.” Um, OK I only know the ONE Madness song and I thought, “OK I have this in THE BAG.” So I started humming it and NO ONE was getting it. Everyone eventually gave up and when I said, “Our House by Madness” no one knew the song and I was aghast. But here is where it goes south.

“Yeah, it’s their cover of the Beatles’ song,” I said with full confidence. Chooch and Kevin were both immediately questioning this and I was like, “Yeah, the Beatles.”

We moved on with the game.

But two days later, I shot up in bed and cried out, “The Beatles didn’t sing Our House! That was CROSBY STILLS AND NASH!” I texted both Henry and Chooch about this, in a state of PANIC because if you know me, I am like half-savant when it comes to music things.

“Wow, good job,” Chooch replied, and then Henry admitted that he was thinking to himself that night, “What is she talking about??”

But then a few days went by and I was still emotionally self-flagellating over this when the actual Madness song popped into my head and I said out loud to no one, “THAT WASN’T EVEN A COVER, THAT WAS THEIR OWN FUCKING SONG, WHAT WAS I EVEN THINKING?!?!!?!?”

Am I losing it? Is this early on-set dementia? Was it just because I was drinking a strong Belgian beer and off my game??

Anyway, Chooch will never let me live me this down, hence his little Crosby, Stills and Nash quip.

I originally put on Seoul’s countdown and Chooch goes, “This was like 12 hours can we please just watch the US one, thanks.” W O W. Penelope was walking by and stopped abruptly to stare at the TV, which cracked me up.

Then she continued watching from the table.

Anyway, anti-climactic as always. Happy fucking New Year, etc.

But then for some reason, I brought up the Miz again I GUESS HE HAS BEEN HEAVY ON MY MIND SINCE LOSING HIS MATCH AT  THE DUMB WWE HOLIDAY THING ON SATURDAY and it inspired me to put on The Challenge compilation videos and Henry and I sat there until after 1AM reminiscing, saying things like, “What was his name? Abram I think?” and being totally mesmerized by CT (the best to ever do it, IMO). There was one clip of CT with Adam from The Real World Paris and I was like, “His dad was someone….but I can’t remember now.” Lionel Richie kept coming to me but I knew it wasn’t him. Eventually, I gave up and Googled and his dad is one of the founding members of The Commodores, so practically Lionel Richie! But it also made me laugh because one of the songs Henry got earlier that night during Hitster was “Easy” by the Commodores but he said Lionel Richie so we didn’t give him a token.

How’s that for too much detail into our boring NYE??

Meanwhile, I was avoiding my phone all night because the Stranger Things finale was released but Chooch and I had tickets to see it in the theater on New Year’s Day at noon. I wouldn’t even open Instagram to post a Happy New Year picture.

But finally it was Thursday and I was so sick to my stomach over the anticipation of saying goodbye to Stranger Things! I get so easily attached to everything and anything, it’s fucking stupid. I hadn’t originally intended on seeing it in the theater. Kevin and Corey were telling us it was going to be released this way back in November and at the time, they had thought it meant it was the ONLY way to watch it so I was really annoyed by that because I don’t generally enjoy going to the theater to see movies, let alone a series finale?? (Says the broad who is about to go to the movies again tonight to see Marty Supreme, but I digress! This is only because Chooch also wants to see it and I’m trying to actively be more supportive of the Hollywood Theater down the street.)

Of course, it turns out that it was also going to be released on Netflix so yay, but then Chooch started hounding me to reserve tickets to see it in the theater since he’d still be in town for it. I grudgingly did so. There were only two theaters showing it, and the closest one is in a part of town I try to avoid with all my might (the Waterfront, I have always hated the feel of this area) so I asked Chooch if he cared if we’d have to drive 45 minutes out of the city to see it in Greensburg, LOL. He said he didn’t care! He just wanted to see it and besides, the theater in Greensburg had more availability.

Can I just pause here and say that the fact that he chose to do this with me and not one of his friends actually made my heart feel like it was going to pop out of my chest? We have watched this show together since it came out in 2016 and this just felt so special, driving to Greensburg (me yelling, “SLOW DOWN!” to him every 10 seconds as if he doesn’t get his speed demon tendencies from me) and making him listen to my annoying music, ugh. It was probably the BEST New Year’s Day I’ve ever had, if we’re being honest.

There was some AMC promotion where every ticket came with a $20 food credit — the same cost as the ticket, so suddenly I wasn’t AS annoyed that it cost us $40 for these tickets!? I am so out of the loop with theater prices that I had to consult with my friend Nate at work who confirmed that $20 is the going rate for “special releases” I guess. Because of this, I figured we could just get there a little bit earlier and get food for lunch they allege to have Impossible nuggets, flatbread pizza, etc. But the young kid at the counter said, “no, we’re out” to both of these items and then before we had a chance to choose anything else, he added, “We’re out of basically everything.”

Dafuq.

Here’s $40 in concession credits, good luck.

There was a mall across the parking lot from the theater and we had a good 45 minutes, so I suggested just going there. I was fine because I had eaten breakfast, but Chooch hadn’t eaten anything yet and I didn’t want him to have popcorn for lunch (assuming they weren’t out of that too). So we went to the food court and luckily there was a Panera there so Chooch got his beloved caprese sandwich. Neither of us had ever been to the Westmoreland Mall before so that was a fun side quest.

Back at the theater, the concession stand now had a legit line as opposed to earlier when it was just Chooch and me, looking like we had only gone to AMC to eat lunch. I felt bad for all the people in line around us discussing what they were going to get when I knew it was basically candy, popcorn, or suck their fat one. (IYKYK.)

However, when it was our turn, I decided to press my luck and tentatively ask for a soft pretzel.

There was an awkward silence.

“Well…” the guy started. “We’re out of the pretzel bites, but we do have one Bavarian pretzel left…” He was saying this is a tone like he was trying to talk me out of ordering it, but that’s the pretzel I was actually asking about.

I was like, great my guy, OK cool, I’ll take the last Bavarian.

But he goes, in a weirdly serious tone, “It’s a pound and a half.”

LOOK I HAVE $40 DOLLARS IN FOOD CREDIT HERE AND WOULD LIKE MY FUCKING PRETZEL STOP FAT-SHAMING IT AND ME! Bro was about to pull out the bullhorn next to announce to everyone that this Fatty from the City had just purchased the last 1.5 pound soft pretzel.

Anyway, I got to use the stupid food vouchers – one Bavarian pretzel, one bottle of water, and one soft drink was $30. Jesus.

However, once that pretzel was birthed from the over and delivered to us, I opened the lid and yelped. That was one motherwhompin’ pretzel for sure and actually worth the $16. Plus it came with two things of cheese. It was so big (literally looked like a vine from the Mind Flayer) that Chooch and I only ate about 1/8 of it before Stranger Things started and took the rest home for Henry the Pretzel Monster.

I should have held it up to my head for scale – it was definitely bigger than my head.

Well, anyway – no spoilers here obviously but props to Chooch for twisting my arm because being in a sold out theater for this finale was everything. I don’t think I have ever experienced anything like that even back when I was regularly going to the movies (I used to be a huge movie buff as a teen and into my early 20s!) and I’m so glad that the Duffer Bros made this an option because the live audience made it feel so much more epic! I still plan to rewatch it at home on Netflix (Henry and I have been re-watching the whole series and are almost done with Season 4, anyway) but this was truly the coolest way to watch it. THANK YOU, CHOOCH.

He was 10 when it first came out, and being able to watch something with him that touched so heavily upon my own childhood as an 80s kid was wild and memorable!

(OMG don’t mind me but I’m just over here crying again, lol.)

The rest of the day was super chill. Just hung out at home, finally got to start scrolling through all the Stranger Things reaction and theories posts on Threads and Reddit, and just had a nice relaxing New Years evening.

That was a really nice start to 2026, although it also means it’s almost time to take Chooch back to Philly and I am really getting sadder and sadder thinking about this because having him home for this Christmas break made everything feel normal again and now I’m going to go back to being lonely during the days while I’m sitting here working.

Sigh.

Happy New Year!

It’s been a minute since I went to a concert alone (not counting the kpop concerts we go to where we sit floors apart) but when I saw that PVRIS was bringing their 10th anniversary White Noise tour to Pittsburgh I didn’t even bother asking Henry if he wanted to go because I knew he’d say no. So I signed up for the presale and bought one ticket just for me – cheap and easy!

The White Noise album technically came out 11 years ago and it was on constant rotation in our house for a long time back then! From the moment I saw the video for St Patrick, I was subbed.

I’ve seen them a whole bunch of times since then – mostly at Warped Tour and as the opener for other bands – but coincidentally every time I have seen them headline, I’ve been alone (this was the third time!).

Henry dropped me off at the Roxian 30 minutes before doors and I was kind of shocked at how short the line was. Granted, it was a cold night but that usually doesn’t stop die hards. The Roxian opened sometime after I had become totally immersed in Kpop so I actually had never been here before this night since I wasn’t going to non-Kpop concerts for a big chunk of there.

While I was standing there, I saw a man get out of a parked car down the street and start walking over to the line. I squinted and was like, “OMG HENRY CAME BACK! HE BOUGHT A TICKET AND CAME BACK FOR ME!” because the man was of Henry’s age, same glasses, same beard…but the closer he came the more groomed he was and also his beard was more solid white and manscaped well. So, not Henry. But that man was definitely attending the concert though because at one point during the night I turned around and saw him standing up in the balcony.

Anyway! Doors opened right at 7PM. As my purse was getting casually inspected (have fun sifting through my collection of YOU NEVER KNOW tampons, Male Security, one of the lady staff standing nearby said she liked my purse.

“And your shoes, too!” she added and I did my signature cringey Shirley Temple hand-under-chin smile thing that I do which totally sends Chooch. Good thing he wasn’t there but I was sure to text him about it.

(My purse and shoes were both Vans! 99.9% of my shoe collection is Vans. I stay consistent. The only non-Vans I have ever coveted are the G-Dragon Para-noise Nikes which have been unattainable for me over these last 6 years.)

Once I got inside, I made a beeline for the barricade. It’s my go-to when I’m at shows alone. Usually far-right barricade. It seemed like the people at the barricade to my left were also there alone, and we all just kind of leaned against it, mindlessly scrolling through our phones, until the opener – Dua Saleh – came on. That was fine with me because small talk is exhausting to me, especially after a full day of work that also included therapy. I was happy to stand there alone in silence until the show started.

I went in blind to Dua Saleh and was blown away. First of all, they came out on crutches, foot in a boot, and still managed to work the stage.

I was blown away – I think all of us there who didn’t have prior exposure to them left that night as a fan. Their singing was soulful and mystical, honestly hypnotic to the point where I began to forget where I was.

Afterward, we were entertained by watching the stage crew go through the tedious process of attaching furniture to the stage lighting trusses (I made Henry look up the technical name for me because I was just calling the “stage light things” lol). Meanwhile, not one but two Fergie songs played which had me dying because we were talking about the meme of her singing horribly on GMA (I think?) and doing back flips across the stage. I honestly can’t remember the last time I actually heard a Fergie song out in the wild, but they had an early 00s playlist pumping so it made sense but still!

The final result!

Oh, before I get into the rest, I want to give a shout out to the security at the front of the stage – there were three of them and they were so chill. I had fun watching them fuck around with each other in between sets and taking selfies to send to their security friends in the balcony. My first impression of the Roxian was really solid!

And finally….PVRIS. I knew I was going to cry but I didn’t expect to cry AS SOON as they came out on stage. (OK that’s a lie, lol.) But damn, it’s been too long since I last saw them live and that’s totally on me. (I think the last time was actually when I saw them in Royal Oak, Michigan?? That may have been in 2018.)

They tore through the entire White Noise album – no breaks, no banter in between songs. That did feel kind of sterile but also added a layer of mystery and seriousness, if you know what I mean. Like, this is such a special album and a special night honoring it, so it made sense that all the banter was saved up until the special set proceeding White Noise because it kept us all in the zone.

But Lynn is such a light-hearted banterer so it was definitely refreshing to hear her speaking voice after White Noise was finished. It brought us back down to earth, in a way, anchored us after that wildly emotional ride!

View this post on Instagram

You and I is one of my favorites and I screamed my throat raw during this one (not my video!!):

I don’t really know what else to say other than it was a great crowd, a great show, and an overall great night even though I was alone! I feel like the last two times I went to one of their headlining shows, the crowd was annoying, but the crowd was so cool and considerate at this show. When the person who was originally next to me gave up their spot to the young girl behind us who was SUPER STOKED TO BE THERE, she turned to me at one point and asked, “You can still see, right??” Her flailing arm was blocking my view a lot of the time but I just smiled and told her she was fine because go off, queen! She was living her best night and I’m not going to stand there and be a tight-lipped Karen because she has her arm in the air. (If it would have been her phone, that’s a different story!) But she was so cute and I was jumping and flailing about too so who cares. Just a really great crowd.

My voice was cooked after that though because I just screamed my face off most of the night (most of my video clips are just my big mouth lol). I felt so GOOD after that and was blabbering my head off to Henry on the way home.

PVRIS 4EVER.

SETLIST

1. SMOKE
2. ST PATRICK
3. MY HOUSE
4. HOLY
5. WHITE NOISE
6. FIRE
7. EYELIDS*
8. MIRRORS
9. GHOSTS
10. LET THEM IN
11. YOU & I
12. BURN THE WITCH
13. SNAKES
14. GOOD ENEMY
15. ANIMAL
16. DEAD WEIGHT
17. LOVE IS A….
18. I DON’T WANNA DO THIS ANYMORE**
19. HALLUCINATIONS
20. GODDESS

*Ugh, Christina and I liked this song together
**What I say approx. 87x an hour during my typical work day

UGH, I love PVRIS so much.

I am obligated to end this with a picture of Chooch and Lynn Gunn from Warped Tour 2015! The line was actually cut off for their meet and greet and were like “:(” but then Lynn saw Chooch in his Emarosa tank and she called out to us, “I designed that shirt!” (she’s also an artist!) and then waved us over to their merch table and took a picture with Chooch. She was so gracious and sweet and it’s something that stands out in my mind every time I think of PVRIS. <3

I haven’t shot off any music videos into the ether in a while so here are some jams that I have been obsessing over lately! (See also: need a break from typing words lol.)

1. PRESTON KNIGHT – A NIGHT TO REMEMBER

Originally, I was going to post the first one of his songs that I heard but then this one slipped into my heart. I appreciate that his music videos have a Lost Boys / horror-theme to them! How to steal my heart:

• 80s synth
• horror-themed music videos
• smooth vocals

2. NCT DREAM – BEAT IT UP

NEW NCT DREAM ALERT!! WAKE UP!! NEW NCT DREAM DROPPED!!

God, I still love them so much.

3. SUMMER SCHOOL & RYAN PREWETT – SENTIMENTS

Sadly, there is no music video for this but I would remiss not to share it (I was spamming my work friends with this last week on Teams because it’s just too good and even GLENN LIKED IT). It’s like next gen Rick Astley and I can’t get over how good it is. If I had gone the traditional wedding route, I would be so mad right now that this wasn’t around yet to play at the reception.

4. CHANDLER LEIGHTON – SAY LESS

I’ve been in my Chan era since seeing her open for Johnnie Guilbert.

5. DAVID DEEJAY feat. DONY – SEXY THING

OK this one is old but I recently found out that the Romanian music I became obsessed with on our trip is a genre called POPCORN which makes it even more amazing. Anyway, this song comes up a lot in Popcorn playlists and instantly gets stuck in my head like a popcorn kernel in the teeth. IS THAT WHY THEY CALL THIS POPCORN??

Well, there you go. Five songs. Maybe one will stick.

(SRSLY THOUGH SUMMER SCHOOL BETTER GO ON TOUR BECAUSE I WILL TRAVEL FOR THAT SHIT. Heads up, Henry.)

Remember last spring when I accidentally became a Johnnie Guilbert fan? Well, Henry and I got to see him last week at Skully’s Music Diner in Columbus! (OMG before you even assume that Henry didn’t want to do, I have someone’s video from that night playing on YouTube for blogging inspo and Henry was whispering the words!!)

First time at Skully’s! A love a new-to-me venue but I also get curiously anxious beforehand too. Fear of the unknown, etc. This one ended up being tiny with just the amount of grime. You know I love kpop with my whole heart but I really miss these small shows in dark, sweaty venues too! I’m glad that I have been squeezing these in again.

Chooch didn’t know why we were in Columbus until I sent him this picture and his response was, “Ugh. Great.”

There were two college-aged girls in line behind us talking about how embarrassed they’d be if their parents came with them to see Johnnie and I was like, “Do they think we’re here with our children? OMG DO THEY THINK I’M HENRY’S DAUGHTER???”

LOL.

I appreciated that I got carded and the girl at the door who was way younger than me called me “dear” when she called me over to get a wristband. This night was already off to a great start.

Creepy red-light special bathroom and giant ornately-framed mirror. Obsessed. Not obsessed with the fact that the bathroom stall had a curtain instead of a door though.

We were standing in a dark corner so this selfie looks like I took it on my old red Blackberry in 2007.

I don’t know what it was about Skully’s but I felt super cozy there and confidently abandoned Henry to go upstairs and buy my JOHNNIE VIOLENT DREAMS TOUR SHIRT. It’s a weird-feeling material but I will still wear it when Chooch is home for Thanksgiving because I love to trigger him and remind him that Mommy has young interests.

They still had their Halloween decorations up and that really set the mood. And they were playing some awesome emo tracks too, some of which inspired high-energy sing-alongs from the crowd (Metro Station, lol). I was stoked that they played an old Jimmy Eat World song but no one else seemed to know it so I felt old.

I took this to send to Chooch as proof that Johnnie has fans.

Chander Leighton was added as the opening act a few weeks before the tour started and I didn’t know anything about her because friends, that ain’t my scene anymore. I skimmed her Insta and thought I had an idea of the vibe she was going to bring and expected to be ambivalent toward it. What I didn’t expect was IMPRINTING ON CHANDLER LEIGHTON THAT NIGHT. Holy shit you guys, she was phenomenal, the rizz was oozing. I was completely captivated. Here’s some clips!

Meanwhile, the cutest couple ever was standing near us, dancing together through her whole set (and, later, Johnnie’s). They were kind of neo-bohemian, he sounded like Spicolli, and for some reason instead of annoying me, I thought they were so charming and adorable together and I hope they last forever. They were just existing in their little space, not bothering anyone, we love to see it. Meanwhile, Henry stood like a block of Disgruntled Elder behind me even though he CLAIMS to be having a “good” time.

AND THEN IT WAS JOHNNIE TIME! I just love him so much and in some weird parasocial way, I’m proud of him. He’s very open about his struggles with depression and residual trauma of losing his dad at a young age, not to mention being groomed by an older YouTuber when he was just a teenager. It’s crazy that this stuff was happening when Chooch met the aforementioned YouTuber at Warped Tour. Chooch was right to think this guy was a loser even at such a young age!

For the most part, the crows was pretty OK people but there were some young girls gravitated to our area toward the end that lacked concert etiquette and I was not happy with them. But mostly, I enjoyed watching all of the girls lose their minds every time Johnnie came to their side of the stage. Adorable. (OK, and relatable haha.)

But now Johnnie is in his late 20s and his music is gaining more and more traction – I’m sorry but I feel proud of him! And I genuinely 100% like his music too.

Henry’s favorite parts of the show:

• VAMPIRE
• ZOMBIE
• “I liked that first person. I can never remember her name. Yeah, Chandler. Leighton.”
• Right Girl Wrong Time

Someone asked him to do Timmy and he said no and I think that was Henry’s least favorite moment of the night because he loves Johnnie’s Timmy persona.

Please enjoy this series of snippets from the night!

He stayed on stage afterward and signed things for everyone and seemed like he was sincerely wanted to meet every single person in that room. We stan a prince who appreciates his fans.

I wanted him to sign the shirt that I was wearing but also felt weird because I’m nearly 20 years older than him so in the end, I accepted my fate (age) and we head out to start the 3 hour drive home. T O T A L L Y worth the drive, right HENRY??

(I guess I could have taken off my shoe to get signed like that person up there?!?!)

Here’s Henry’s version of Vampire, he missed almost all of the song because he thought he was recording AND HE WASN’T BUT THAT’S OK HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAUGHHHHHH.

“Vampire” is my favorite Johnnie song. Back when I started watching Jake Webber’s videos and had the realization that, wait, is that Johnnie Guilbert from the Warped Tour YouTuber days??? and then saw that he makes music now, I had the kneejerk presumption that it was going to be super lame. “Ha! Let’s see about this,” I thought as I went to YouTube and played the first video that came up, which happened to be Vampire. And then almost instantly, I said, “Oh. Fuck. Goddammit.” I hate it when I’m wrong! But I’m also glad that I was because exploring his music and watching his YouTube has been so much fun since then!

Anyway, I’m grateful that Henry and I are still doing things like driving to Columbus for a concert and driving home the same night. IT KEEPS US YOUNG RIGHT HENRY.

“Didn’t you just see them?” Chooch replied when I texted him from the City Winery last Thursday evening, as we waited for the Cold concert to start. Um yes, we did “just” see them back in the spring BUT this was a special, intimate tour in collaboration with the City Winery, and Cold was bringing SIERRA SWAN with them.

SIERRA SWAN!!!

As someone who was big into Cold during their earlier years, I was always sad to never get to see her perform any of the songs on 13 Ways to Bleed on Stage in real life. So when this tour was announced, I tagged my pal Shawn – we were little Cold groupies back in the day! – and he said that not only were he and his wife Jess down for this, but also his brother Dave and his wife Stephanie! I reserved a table for us POST HASTE. I was so excited to get to see Cold again with Shawn – the last time was probably in 2001 (!!!!) and for all of us to get to experience this together as “big” adults.

I did just see them last spring and did my whole emo “blood on the blog” thing after that concert so I will try to keep this short and sweet, but good Lord was it ever a magical night.

I sent this to Chooch, whose response was, “Wow he’s almost smiling.”

The opening band was Edisun and it turns out that not only did I see them open for Cold way back in 2010 (I went with Alisha, when she was still living in Pgh), but so did Shawn’s brother, Dave! Dave was also at the one they did with Evanescence, and so were Henry and me! So crazy, because I think prior to this I had only met Shawn’s brother once and it was forever ago when he was still a kid and I went to Shawn’s house for some reason?! Anyway, Edisun was really great but I felt weird because I was trying to take surreptitious bites of my kale salad (it was such a great salad!!). I’m sorry but it will never be normal for me to eat during a concert!? It’s weird enough having to sit during one. (This one was 100% a seated event.)

Plus, we were only one table back from the stage! The first row of tables were a tiny bit more $$ but honestly, they were TOO CLOSE and I would have felt so weird sitting down and eating that close to Scooter Ward, even though I was done with my (SUPER DELECTABLE*) kale salad by the time they came on.

*I cannot stress this enough – it had a spicy sunflower dressing! It was so good that it was a topic of conversation the next day when I had my check-in with my dietician!

They opened with “Ugly,” prompting the tears to fall from my eyes with no preamble or solicitation. Just a quiet and salty face waterfall. Nothing to see here.

Someone posted it on YouTube! Oh, please watch this.

The whole set was so beautiful and very “Storytellers”ish – even moreso than the last one which was where they played A Different Kind of Pain and 13 Ways to Bleed on Stage in their entirety. The best part though was that it was all different stories that Scooter told this time so it felt fresh and extra special. Scooter is so funny and interesting, and when he tells a story, I hang off of every word. I EVEN HEARD HENRY LAUGHING A FEW TIMES BEHIND ME! If someone can get Henry to take a time out from watching Instagram Reels, that’s pretty major.

There was one table in the front but over to the side full of people who had quickly gotten drunk and chatty, and Henry kept mumbling, “Shut up!” under his breath. Why would you come to this super intimate show and talk?? “Everyone enjoys concerts their own way” – OK, cool, but how are you enjoying it when you’re talking over the band and creating annoying background chatter for everyone else? Call me a Concert Karen if you want, but seriously. Go sit at the bar.

Sorry, this is a screenshot from the one lone video I took all night, but this is THE SIERRA SWAN.

Setlist: (There wasn’t one on Setlist.fm for the Pgh show but I’m confident the Philly setlist is the same)

1. Ugly
2. A Different Kind of Pain
3. End of the World
4. No One
5. Another Pill
6. Suffocate
7. Superstar
8. Bleed
9. Better Human
10. Delivering the Saint
11. The One that Got Away
12. You Got Away (Sierra’s song)
13. Welcome2MyWorld
14. Quiet Now (his story on this song’s background drew tears from the eyes of nearly everyone in that room – probably not Henry – and it of course made me think of Drew and how quiet the house is without her. I am so broken)
15. Trouble Is (Sierra’s song)
16. Strip Her Down
17. Check Please
18. Gone Away

After the show, we hung back at our table and chatted a bit, letting everyone clear out. I really enjoyed our company that night, so so so much! Especially Shawn’s anti-truffle rant which caught the attention of this lady who was there alone and seated at one of the empty seats at our table. So we started chatting with her in between sets and learned she is originally from Florida and moved here with her now ex-husband. She was so nice but I regrettably forget her name because I was drinking a wine flight and I am such a light weight.

I really wanted to say hi to Scooter, after years and years and years of getting so emotional that I would legit run out of venues after losing my courage. Yes, I have two super old pictures with him from 2001 but they are awful. With Jess’s encouragement and Shawn agreeing to accompany me, I decided to try for an updated photo.

Oh you guys. I am still a mess around this lyrical genius. The way he emotes such raw and visceral pain from his entire being just makes my heart race. Even when we first got to the venue and were standing in line to get our tickets scanned, Scooter walked over to the front of the line and my heart was beating so hard that it drowned out everything else in that room. “He needs to leave before we get up there or I’m not going to be able to do this!” I cried to Henry, imagining myself fumbling my phone when trying to show our tickets, dropping it on his foot, bursting into tears and running out of the City Winery.

Typical Erin moves.

Thank god Shawn and Dave took the lead with this one and made it super casual and normal while I was standing there blubbering on about the time Scooter gave me a Starburst in 2001 in Hershey.

“I still like Starbursts,” Scooter said in his cool and quiet way, and you know I have been holding that soundbyte inside the deepest pocket of my brain reserved for all the special shit. Like:

• my Pappap saying “doopah” instead of butt when warning me not to sit on the cold porch floor.
• G-Dragon saying, “I have something to tell you,” in Newark regarding THE BIGBANG REUNION.
• Baby Chooch saying, “You…motherFUCKER!” apropos of nothing.

I’m not saying this in a sexual / lusty kind of way at all, but Scooter had his hand on my lower back and adjusted it several times and I literally thought I was going to die just because he was touching me (NOT IN A STARSTRUCK WAY BUT IN A “THIS MAN’S MUSIC HAS GOTTEN ME THROUGH SOME SHIT AND NOW HIS  HAND IS ON MY BACK” KIND OF WAY I DUNNO I CAN’T EXPLAIN IT BUT SOMEDAY MY FRIEND ALYSON MIGHT READ THIS AND I KNOW SHE WILL GET IT).

“I know,” Henry said in a soothing manner when I cried, “AND I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE WHEN HIS HAND WAS ON MY BACK, HENRY!” on the way to the car afterward.

Scooter also liked Shawn’s moustache!

Yep, you know this signed poster has already been framed. Just gotta find a good spot for it!

Oh! Henry came back to the table with this special edition Cold wine bottle after going to the bathroom in between sets! However, when he was buying it he apparently struck up a convo with the opening back, Edisun, and after the show when we were waiting to see Scooter, one of the guys from Edisun walked by, PATTED HENRY’S SHOULDER AND SAID, “WHAT’S UP, BUD.”

Ew, the gloating smirk I got from Henry after that. Sickening!

LOL it’s OK. He bought me the signed version of the wine bottle so he earned that little moment in the spotlight, I guess. This is me being a grown-up. (Don’t worry, it won’t last long.)

What an absolute banger of a night that I will never forget.

OH! P.S.! The drunk lady that fell at the last Cold show at Craft House was there, and she was actually talking to Scooter right before us. She turned around and, in the true sense of the word, HOLLERED something to her husband, causing Shawn to recoil and say, “Oh my!”

Thankfully, she was sat at a table nowhere near ours. Yikes.

I started collecting magnets from all of our road trips years ago, mostly amusement park magnets adorn our fridge. I’m still a little kid about shit like this (although as a kid, I collected SPOONS from everywhere I went at the suggestion of my Grandma Kelly ❤️ and then my mom THREW THEM ALL AWAY) and I get super tunnel vision about this every time we go away. “I CAN’T LEAVE WITHOUT A MAGNET!” I’ll cry in the key of Sally Struthers Starving Kids Commercial.

I was going hog wild in Romania (even remembered to grab one in London since I wasn’t collecting magnets yet when I was last there) and as I was giddily sorting through them the other day, I realized that I FORGOT TO GET ONE IN BRAȘOV!!!

And we were there for two nights, too!! I vaguely remember saying, “no! I’m not getting a magnet from the first place I walk into. I will shop around” because I always impulse buy the first one I see only to find better ones later in other stores. Ugh. I can’t believe this oversight! Granted, I did get sick while we were in Brașov so that definitely impeded upon my desire to shop but still. I can’t believe this.

Does it count if you buy a magnet online?? I mean, I was truly in Brașov but is that cheating? What if I never make it back to get an authentic one? Only I would have restless nights over a magnet (OR LACK OF ONE).

Anyway, here are my new magnets for the collection:

WHAT SHOULD I DO?? Buy the one I found on eBay? Make my own out of one of the pictures I took while there? Maybe that’s the way to go. Calm down, Erin. No one cares.

25 years ago last week (missed the exact anniversary, I’m a failure) I went to Canberra, Australia alone to make my dream of seeing the Cure come true. You can’t ever say I’m not a go-getter.

It’s kind of eerie/cool but there were numerous Cure “Easter eggs” around Romania while we were there, like that poster I kept seeinglike that poster I kept seeing, another poster for a concert next summer that they’re headlining with 21 Pilots, and hearing The Last Day of Summer at a bookstore in Bucharest and that is actually one of the songs on the album that the Cure was touring in support of when I saw them in 2000. Such strange and delightful kismet!

OH AND THIS TRANSYLVANIA TCHOTCHKE I HAD TO BUY BC IT LOOKS CURIOUSLY LIKE ROBERT SMITH:

Henry recently digitized my old 8mm tape from that trip and it was my first time rewatching this in probably 20 years. The cringe session was intense. I know I’m going to regret this but here’s the clip of the actual meeting. Ugh I hate myself so much. The way Robert side eyes me and says “we just spent 6 weeks there…” when some radio person tells him I came from America to see them.

Henry just kept saying, “you were just a kid, it’s ok” instead of what I wanted to hear which was, “No! You were great! Look how…not frumpy and awkward you’re being! You made a…great impression! So much…personality! Robert probably still remembers this moment fondly and didn’t even notice the glaze of anxiety on your chubby face.”

Instead, when I said, “Oh…I was going to put this on Instagram but didn’t remember it being this cringy” Henry goes, “yeah I was gonna say, when I was pulling this off the camera I thought, ‘oh she will never want anyone to see this.”

WOW OK SUPPORTIVE.

I still have never properly written about this experience, just little pieces. Maybe Someday.

(THAT’S A CURE SONG BTW.)

Also, here’s a recording of when I was on a radio station in Canberra trying to weasel my way in to meet the Cure lol. It worked!

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We’re in Cluj-Napoca (THE BIRTHPLACE OF BELA KAROLYI BTW REMEMBER WHEN I WAS OBSESSED WITH HIM) and apropos of nothing, we see this large silk screen of another man I’m obsessed with, Robert Smith, covering this window as we crossed the street. Had to stop for a picture.

When we were driving to our hotel in Bucharest (at 3am never forget I know I won’t), we spotted numerous posters of this same image hanging in various spots in Old Town so now I’m on a mission to find out why. They’re not concert posters…

It’s giving me the feels though because EXACTLY 25 YEARS AGO THIS WEEK, I saw the Cure for the first time in Canberra, Australia. (And met them!)

Anyway!! It’s 5:46am and we’re getting ready to embark on the Maramures portion of the trip. It already feels like our time in Romania is half over but it’s not. The “do t wanna leave” panic is strong with this one.

I knew I was going to love it here. I knew. Decades of dreaming about it, numerous failed attempts over the last 15 years, and here I am, with Henry who might not always understand the root of my obsessions, but he’s here for it and that’s all I can ask for!

Once again, I was compelled by the power of G-Dragon. For the longest time, I have wanted to get some type of Seoul 1988 Olympics memorabilia because G-Dragon, born in 1988, has made Seoul 1988 Olympics kind of his thing. He can very often be seen wearing Seoul 88 hats. I’m not a hat-wearing, so I went on eBay in search of anything else and I found this jacket at a super reasonable price!

It is honestly SO GOOD. Yes, it stunk like someone’s basement closet from 1988 for sure, but with a bit of airing out it’s fine now! It’s the perfect fall jacket too, I love it so much.

The Mister Softee shirt I wish I had been wearing in Philly last weekend! Also, my Vans match it perfectly which really tickled me.

Also? Eat Flem.

Blair Witch shot.

Oh I look so friendly here but I am actually berating Henry through this fake-ass smile. “Can you please just take the picture without fucking it up, thanks.”

We won’t talk about how frustrating Henry was being in his photographer role. I mean, we got through it but Chooch would have done it better!

I liked this tree.

Also, you can’t tell here but the front has “Leon” embroidered on it which is EVEN BETTER because one of the things I learned on our first trip to Korea in 2018 is that Leon: The Professional has something a bit bigger than a cult following there?? There was Leon merch everywhere – phone cases, socks, etc. I don’t exactly know the lore behind it but it’s a real thing, Leon is big in Korea. So this jacket is even that much more of a chef’s kiss!

Anyway, that’s all from Sunday. I’m tired.

Well, considering it’s been three weeks now since I saw GD and I’m currently SOBBING while watching someone’s vlog from the LA shows – a married couple that are super VIPs from way back seeing him for the first time and feeling emotions that I can totally relate to and I’m sitting here with fucking goosebumps lol –  I just have to power through this or else it will be October and I’m still living in the weekend of August 22. Sigh.

Let’s just dive in because it’s now or never!

SETLIST (same for both nights)

1. POWER
2. HOME SWEET HOME
3. MichiGO
4. ONE OF A KIND
5. CRAYON
6. BONAMANA
7. Butterfly
8. I Love It
9. WHO YOU?
10. Today
11. Crooked
12. Heartbreaker
    (with WinG hologram intro)
13. Bullshit
    (with interpolations of ‘Not Like Us’ by Kendrick Lamar)
14. TAKE ME
15. TOO BAD
16. DRAMAENCORE
17. This Love
    (Maroon 5 cover)
18. 1 Year Station
19. IBELONGIIU
20. GYRO‐DROP
    (partial vocals, band and dancers introductions)
21. Untitled, 2014

I thought that after seeing this show only 24 hours before, that some of the magic and surprise would have worn off. But yo, I was so immersed from the moment the lights went out and the video for Too Bad began playing on the screens, audio blasting. My heart was racing! G-DRAGON IS THE MOTHERFUCKING GOAT. In the video I was watching from the YouTube couple, they pointed out that even when GD was being silly on stage at the LA show, he was still so fucking cool, because EVERYTHING GD DOES IS SO FUCKING COOL. HE IS A LEGIT TRENDSETTER FOR A REASON. Bro started wearing scarves over his hats and it turned into a trend in Asia, and then he later admitted that he was only doing that to hide his weight gain in his face, not to look cool!

I have been really thinking hard about this, especially after watching so many fan cams from this tour: people and by people I do mean BTS fans are trying to create this toxic narrative that GD’s comeback was a “flop,” that he’s “washed up,” that he’s “talentless.” Bro. All I have been seeing, outside of BTS INTERNET, is that there have been a ton of people who started stanning him this year BECAUSE OF HIS COMEBACK. New Kpop fans, people who don’t like Kpop at all (the girl next to me did not listen to other Kpop ONLY G-Dragon, although she does know Seventeen BECAUSE OF G-DRAGON!), and old Kpop fans alike. Bro has accumulated so many new fans this year alone! HE IS THE REAL DEAL. When I tell you this man could have peddled herbal tonics in a past life and became a millionaire in no time, I’m not kidding. His charisma is unmatched. He was simply born this way – this was not learned, he did not train to become this, HE ALREADY HAD THIS IN HIM. G-Dragon doesn’t need to aura farm, he IS the aura farm.

I AM FUCKING OBSESSED WITH HIM.

BONAMANA <3

I think I saw somewhere that this jacket is worth something like $15,000? $30,000?

Too Bad!

THIS SUIT! It was different than night one’s and I was obsessed with it.

I loved his Too Bad performance so much – the dancing was SO GOOD.

OK I have to include this video of the ment where he announces BIGBANG’s 20th anniversary because it has so much going on – him trying to explain the Ubermensch concept while getting interrupted by fanboys (one of them in particular went to all 5 US shows and GD recognized him and in LA said, “You? Again? Do we know each other? You came to all of the shows? Are you rich?” That guy is living the DREAM!!), getting flustered with mic stand after noticing Those LED Girls (he had a Jacobs & Co rep find them after this and gift them two of his daisy pendants worth over $1000!), impromptu Happy Birthday serenade – this ment was so chaotic and he totally lost control of the crowd because we all just wanted to shower him with love and finally he gave up and let us. I am so glad there is video of this because it makes my heart swell every time I watch it! Imagine being ONE PERSON and commanding an entire arena like this (and huge ass stadiums in other countries!).

But good Lord, I could listen to this man talk and watch his facial expressions all day long.

One of my favorite G-Dragon songs is from his latest album is Drama, co-written by DIANE WARREN. EXCUSE ME, WHAT? THE LEGEND HERSELF DIANE WARREN. Dang.

I want an Ubermensch robe so bad. If he had been selling this as merch, I’d have gladly thrown down and just as an FYI – I have never owned a robe in MY LIFE nor have I ever wanted one until now.

BIG shout out to his dancers and band! They’re incredible and bring so much to the stage.

And you can tell they genuinely love backing him too.

The final final final song was “Untitled 2014.” This song still gives me chills to this day. Everyone in the arena was either choked up & quietly swaying with their daisy bongs or singing along like it was church. There was so much positive and beautiful energy coursing through the Prudential Center, it was impossible not to feel SOMETHING, ANYTHING. I was silently crying, knowing that this was it – the last song, my last glimpse of Kwon Jiyong in person, back to real life. I can guarantee that I wasn’t alone in wanting this night to never end!

OK, I’m crying again so it’s time to turn this over to Henry for his…”thoughts” and “review”! Basically, for science, here’s why a 60-year-old white American man likes this amazing Korean rapper / singer / songwriter / fashion trendsetter / GOAT / legend:

“So where to begin? This was my second time seeing him, and it completely blew me out of the water, he was totally in the zone and giving it 110%. I honestly don’t know why I like him so much, maybe it’s the music or the person I went with (who makes me watch all his videos). But somehow this time hit different, and I loved every minute of both days. Now what? There is always next year to see him again in Big Bang and possibly a different country, just saying, no promises.” – Henry, 2025

(It took him literally 2 hours to write that.)

Saw this adorable dad and daughter on our way out and it made my eyes mist over. I fear that BIGBANG will be the only concert that could ever top this one in my heart and I am already so desperate to go. Please please please let this happen next year. There is not much else in this world to look forward to these days. Thank fucking god for music.

Can we take a moment to admire all of the freebies I accumulated from FAM and VIPs over the two nights in Newark?? I love it, and everyone who took time out to make such cute freebies. There is nothing like a Kpop concert. Also included is my VIP lanyard, the gifts provided by GD (the guitar picks – every city had it’s own color!), the Polaroids that I got free with my merch, and the two exclusive photo cards that came with the VIP package. I love stuff! I was practically acting like Scrooge McDuck and his money bags over my loot while Henry rolled his eyes.

When we came home the next day, I gave Chooch all the candy I collected even though he was lecturing me about how much money I spent on all of this. LET ME LIVE, KID!!! This is MOMMY’S TIME TO SHINE now.

We had to get to the arena earlier on Saturday because VIP line-up started at 4:30 and I did NOT want to risk anything. We ended up getting there around 3PM so I could also pass out the rest of the pins we made. We had over 100 for each day! Again, my social battery was quickly draining during this process but it was so rewarding because some people get REALLY HAPPY about freebies (other people make me take it back because their reactions are so borderline rude – like sorry for having the audacity to want to give you a cute  memento of GD’s concert??). I did chat with a few really nice people though, like a super spunky  (I have never used this word to describe anyone so I guess I was saving it for the perfect candidate) fan who showed me pictures on her phone of her in her Motte concert shirt from 2017 because I was wearing mine. Then she asked me if I wanted a tattoo and I thought she meant a real one and I was caught off guard like, we just met but OK I’ll go get a tattoo with you, but then she handed me a temporary GD tattoo and that made so much more sense lol.

A lot of people commented on Henry’s Motte clip that I made him wear on his hat and my matching tote that we got with our 2017 VIP packages. There was a group of older Asian women who seemed taken aback when I approached them with my freebies – there were a lot of older people at this concert because GD has been a Kpop legend for 20 years so he has fans of all of ages and some of these people don’t go to other Kpop concerts and it shows because they acted like I was trying to sell them something lol. There was one couple that politely put up the “no thank you” stop hand and skirted away from me lol. But anyway, once this particular group realized what was happening, they were squealing as they opened the baggies and pulled out the pins, and then one of them noticed my tote bag and cried, “Oh!!! You’re old fan! You go back to the old days!” and I was like, “Yep! That’s me, an old head!” and they were all fawning over me then – it was the most positive and sweet attention I have received in years and I was FEELING IT! I floated on that cloud for a good long while, what amazing people I met that day.

Henry did say at one point that I was basically a jump scare because I was standing right next to a tree and popping out at people. I didn’t even think about it at the time, but he’s not wrong!

We eventually got in the VIP line after I successfully handed out all of my pins and we received MORE birthday banners which made Henry grumble because he hates having to carry things at concerts lol.

I would say we stood in line for about an hour – they were definitely running behind. It was enough time to admire all of the outstanding outfits around us though! Some people went all out with cosplaying GD and I was very impressed. Especially the fans who made DIY versions of his iconic red rose jacket. The only downside is that it gave me too much time to notice all of the people in line wearing their Peaceminusone NIKEs which I have never been able to obtain since they sell out so fast!! Ugh, the FOMO was so real.

I would be remiss to not add that my idiotic ass kept putting off getting my driver’s license renewed before this (I went the next weekend, OK???) and the venue email that was sent to VIP ticket holders with instructions said that VALID ID was required when checking in, NO EXCEPTIONS. Of course I panicked and brought my passport just in case they slapped my expired (by one month!!) driver’s license out of my hand. AND THEN THEY DIDN’T EVEN CHECK ID. Just scanned our tickets and shuffled us off into the secret door that funnels you straight onto the floor of the arena. Staff was lined up and passing out our VIP bags which included the guitar pick, two exclusive photo cards of GD, and our VIP lanyard and badge. I was geeking out. I have only done VIP for a concert of this size one other time and that was also for GD in 2017! This process was way more streamlined and went off without a hitch (at least in our experience).

Walking across the floor to our seat in Section 8, Row 3. THEY WERE SO GOOD. After Stray Kids, I decided that I never want to be on the floor unless I’m barricade, honestly. Fuck the floor. We were still basically on the floor, so close to the extended stage, and had perfect view during the whole concert.

First of all, a nearly empty arena is fucking COLD. That paired with my nervous anticipation of seeing a pre-concert G-Dragon had me shivering in my seat. Which, by the way, was right next to a woman who flew in from Indiana and was also there for both nights! In the dim light of the Prudential Center, she reminded me a lot of my friend Jiyong (no, not G-Dragon, but my in real life friend Jiyong who was teaching me Korean when she lived in Pittsburgh and then gave us the greatest assist with our marriage!) because when I was just seeing her in my periphery, she had the same stature and her voice sounded so similar! It made my heart swell. We chatted a bit about our love for G-Dragon, how/when we got into him, etc. all while the staff and arena security were walking around shouting out the no cell phones / pictures / videos policy during soundcheck. The one dude was a middle-aged no-nonsense white man who was screaming at people to put their phones away now rather than later, if anyone gets caught with their phones out during soundcheck, they will be escorted out, etc. I have seen plenty of soundcheck videos from other artists’ concerts so I don’t know if this is a G-Dragon policy or what, but it was also like this in 2017 and we did see someone get taken out at that one. I quickly put my phone away because I sacrificed too much to miss this opportunity!

(And by that I mean I paid a lot of money lol.)

“I wonder where he worked before this,” my new friend said out loud.

“Prison,” I said solemnly, and we laughed. Henry was not a part of this conversation. He was basking in the joy of having a coveted aisle seat. It’s literally all he wants at every concert we go to.

OMG there was a lady who had a sit right next to the barricade that reminded me so much of both Barb Riley and Margie. I was dying. Especially when the show started later and she was fighting with a young girl who was, I believe, attempting to push her out of the way. I didn’t notice at first but my not-Jiyong friend pointed it out and then I couldn’t unsee it.

Meanwhile, soundcheck was running late and everyone was starting to squirm in their seats. Then, one of the G-Dragon cosplayers who I recognized from night 1 too, stood up in front of the extended stage and started BELTING out “Crayon.” It was so funny but also contagious and all of the VIPs started cheering and singing along. OBSESSED with this guy’s moxie. I don’t know if GD could hear this but right in the middle of it, his popped up on the stage in his chair, almost like, “OK imposter, sit down, Daddy’s here now” and immediately launched into Bonomana (one of my absolute faves from his new album and now thanks to soundcheck, I got to hear him sing it live three times in two days!!).

IT WAS EPIC TIMING.

EVERYONE WAS SCREAMING! I immediately started to cry, even having just seen him the night before, he was so much closer now and there are no words to explain how intimate soundcheck is. He was wearing a beautiful, loose gray suit, a beret-ish hat (I don’t know my hat names, OK?), and a face mask. Of course, some brave fan got a video!

OMG, Blog. I just can’t get over how much I adore him. He is so fascinating! I wish everyone could experience the aura he exudes at least one because it is so captivating. I will die on this hill but I think the fact that he has so many fan boys speaks volumes.

In addition to Bonamana and Take Me, he also did IBELONG11U. Worth every penny. I even looked at Henry with tears in my eyes and said, “Worth it. No regrets. Two nights was the best accident ever.” And that was before the actual concert even started!

After soundcheck, people made a beeline for either merch lines, bathroom, or food/bev. Henry of course needed to pee and then he wanted to get a beer, so we sat at a table outside of Section 8 – I forget what the lounge was – and people-watched since we had a good 90 minutes to kill.

Back at our seats, I made Henry do the “Instagram Girl Goes to a Concert” pose. He was like I AM NOT STANDING THIS so I let him sit in my seat for it, Jesus he’s really no fun about these things.

I FELT CUTE. Also, there’s Barb/Margie in the bottom left corner. She had such a great seat, I was jel.

Not Henry sitting next to me adjusting his camera settings on his phone so he could get the best shots of GD, lol.

OMG there was some intense selfie wars going on in front of us. The woman standing up to the right was originally taking a selfie of herself with the stage behind her, and the lady in the pink shirt was also trying to get a selfie so she TOLD THE OTHER LADY TO MOVE, and that lady – visibly appalled – made a big sarcastic gesture “GO RIGHT AHEAD” gesture with her arm after taking her seat. I was like, “Holy shit,  the audacity” and then later, that woman was having her partner take pictures of her so the pink lady GOT UP AND WAS LEANING AGAINST HIM, TAKING HER OWN SELFIES. Henry and I were so invested in this.

Also, the girl right in front of me with the silk scarf on her head a la G-Dragon Power-era and her friend were sooooo nice. We (I) chatted with them quite a bit before the show started, and then they gave me and not-Jiyong baggies of freebies to help ourselves to and then pass along. I was in love with everyone around us, legitimately. There was a group of guys directly behind us who were super chill, and a white guy that reminded me a little of Corey further down in our row who was rocking out with his light stick through the entire concert. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to be seated around and it really elevated the experience.

Around 8:15pm, the G-Dragon cosplayer got the crowd all riled up again with another boisterous sing-along (“Crayon/Crooked”) and I was so impressed that he had the balls to do this with a FILLED ARENA at this point. I mean, judging from the beer sloshing in his hand, he had a bit of liquid courage but still – it takes a special kind of person lol. My opinion on him changed later when I saw a video of him grabbing at GD’s arm during one of the times GD walked along the barricade and that’s just not OK with me.

Also in this video, you can see the NO PHONES, I SWEAR TO GOD JUST PUT IT AWAY RIGHT NOW LOOK THIS ISN’T MY RULE I’M JUST DOING MY JOB staff guy in the white shirt can be seen stomping by, and Barb/Margie is also in the background!

And just like soundcheck, the lights went out right after this and the intro began for night 2 and I was SO STOKED. Part 2 coming soon because I don’t want to ever be done recapping this! :(

Warning: This is going to be messy and disjointed because my brain refuses to cooperate – the emotions are still so raw!!

When I first saw G-Dragon in 2017, I never would have known at the time the heartache that would follow. I just assumed, “OK, he and the rest of BIGBANG will be going into the military. Then they’ll come out and go on tour and we’ll go see them.”

God, if only.

Instead, they were wracked with scandals (only one of which was actually true and deserved), one member has been blacklisted (byeee), another retired (we have hope though!), and then G-Dragon came out of the military and basically had been laying low since 2019. A few non-music appearances here and there. A few comeback rumors that never panned out. Then finally! Last year he made a surprise appearance ON STAGE at one of Taeyang’s solo concerts and then came out with his long-awaited comeback single last fall. It has been INSANELY FUN again since then!

I guess I didn’t realize how empty I truly have been feeling these last few years and maybe it seems weird that a singer means that much to me, but he symbolizes a time when I was at my lowest and discovering him and BIGBANG actually breathed new life into me. They made me feel excited to get out of bed every day and learn more about them, Korea, Kpop in general. G-Dragon especially. Almost my whole life it’s been Robert Smith and The Cure, but you guys…

You guys…

It’s G-Dragon. These two nights in Newark really opened me back up! The way I have been thinking about recapping these concerts every day and then instead find myself sitting here smiling into space and then going to YouTube to watch fan videos. I am so obsessed with this man. I told Henry that I was worried that it wouldn’t be as exciting as the first time we saw him and he just frowned at me, like “come on, now.” 2017 was amazing, but his Ubermensch tour blew that out of the water!

I’ll never forget the electricity in the arena when the video for Too Bad was playing on the screens and then suddenly the audio was greatly jacked up, the lights went out, everyone started fucking screaming their lungs out. The energy!!! Henry noted that the screaming wasn’t as annoying as other Kpop concerts because so many men were in the audience, creating more of a “roar” than the shrill shrieking you get with the younger groups!

Not my video but just you know, I was fucking SHAKING during this intro and then IMMEDIATELY went, “Ohhhhhhhhh….” and burst into tears when I finally saw him with my own eyeballs.

And even without Taeyang and Daesung, the energy during “Home Sweet Home” made it feel like the ground beneath us was going to shatter and the roof was going to pop off the Prudential Center. It was, in a word, motherfuckingepic.

My pictures and videos were better the next night when we were closer, but this one just makes me so happy – it was such a celebratory moment!

And then he had his first ment of the night and I can still hear him saying, “HelLO!” and actually acknowledging that he was in Newark and not New York! Most groups just default to New York but then there’s GD with the geographical accuracy <3

I could listen to him talk for days, you guys. He could have just sat on the stage and read the paper to us – OK, not the paper, that’s too depressing, how about an old issue of Sassy magazine lol – and I would have been like, “Did I pay $$$$ for this? Yep. Am I satisfied? You bet.” JUST BREATHING THE SAME AIR AS HIM, I don’t care how Tiger Beat delulu this makes me sound, I could not wipe the absolute AWE from my face no matter how hard I tried. My facial muscles were frozen in reverence. He is one of a kind, 100%. A living legend. No one will change my mind.

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This was around the time he was telling us that BIGBANG is planning on a comeback for their 20th anniversary next year and I have been all over Henry about going to Korea for this. He is 99.999999% sold on the idea, lol.

I’m going to post more videos in my Night 2 recap because that night was more special to me. Just – everything about Night 2 was magic and perfection. Yes, even being there with Henry didn’t hinder any of that, lol.

OMG he seemed so comfortable too, with the crowd and with switching off to 100% English. He was incredibly jokey too – there was one point in between songs when someone shrieked, “I SAW YOU AT THE AIRPORT!” He smirked and said, “So what?” and then, “Just kidding!” with the cutest fucking laugh. Ahhh, I was screaming!

The final song of the night was Untitled which is one of the prettiest songs he has and it brings back so many memories of 2017 – my first GD comeback experience! He sang that song during the 2017 off stage and was literal feet away from us – we were one row back from the barricade at that concert – and there was one part where he held his mic too close to a speaker and it squealed which made him recoil and flinch, and to this day my mind is convinced that that same electric squelch is going to happen every time I listen to that song lol.

Also, this happened during encore! She’s:

• lucky she’s OK
• lucky that she got GD’s attention!!!!1111111111111111111111111

(On the real though, this was apparently the venue’s fault from the information I’ve seen – the railing she was leaning against legit gave out. Thank god she was already so close to the ground!!)

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I can’t remember the last time I smiled SO BIG, cried SO MUCH, and screamed SO LOUD at a concert. I could barely talk on the way back to the car. Nor can I even remember leaving the venue and walking back to the car! I do vaguely remember being hungry but completely crashing out in the hotel room before any decision could be made re: food. It was midnight by then anyway and I felt like I had just come home from a fucking rave. And the next morning, I was TRASHED! My head hurt so bad from all the screaming and I had the most annoying scratchy voice for the first hour or two of the day, but you better fucking believe that I was ready to do it all over again!

Being at the Prudential Center with all of my people was so invigorating. Yes, I was nervous and awkward about passing out freebies and I don’t know why because it went so well and my bag was empty before I knew it and I got so many awesome freebies in return.

It’s already such a blur but I definitely would be remiss to not talk about how there was a food truck – Hangry Joe’s or something – parked alongside the arena and one of the employees was walking around the crowd with a tray of chicken samples. I left Henry for less than five minutes while I was passing out my pins and by the time I came back, he was scarfing down free chicken (they were giving out BIG CHICKEN STRIPS, yo) and had a blob of coagulating condiment resting on his shirt. I was so embarrassed!

In fact, I believe what I yelled was, “You’re so embarrassing!” while he looked down and mumbled, “Aw shit,” swiping at the slop with a finger and leaving behind a dark oily spot on his already UGLY shirt (it was some bland baby poop color since he is resistant to any hue even remotely pleasing to the eye).

SO.

EMBARRASSING.

These banners were the product of a local fan project and we ended up accumulating so many of them over two days. Sometimes we go to Kpop concerts and get there too late, so I miss out on the banners but this time we were actively trying to avoid them because there were so many people passing them out!

The doors eventually opened sometime after 6PM and I was about to FLOAT OUT OF MY BODY. Once we were past security and had our tickets scanned, it started to really sink in that we were about to see KWON JIYONG. The actual King of Kpop. Your idols’ idol.

The line for this photo op was nearly as long as the merch lines, which were the longest merch lines I have ever seen at any concert. We didn’t even attempt that, knowing that we would be there the next day too and could get to the merch right after soundcheck and before the doors opened to the general public, but we ultimately decided on just coming down to the Prudential Center the next morning for early merch, which was the right call. I didn’t want to be stressed out during sound check, thinking about running to get into the merch line!

For night 1, we were in section 7, row 6. The next night, our seats were so much closer but this was still GOOD. I’ve been to the Prudential Center a bunch of times (two KCONs, BTS, Stray Kids, NCT127) but have never sat in the lower section so this was a nice switch-up!

People watching before a concert starts is one of my favorite parts of the night. I was obsessed with the three girls in the row in front of us. From what I had gathered, they had all come solo but befriended each other during soundcheck, so they were chatting away before the concert started and I was desperate to insert myself but never did. I LONG for concert friends. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful that Henry also likes Kpop and comes with me to every concert but sheesh, to be with a group of girls would be the best. I’m just not good at small talk anymore so anytime I *am* sitting alone at one of these concerts because Henry has a nosebleed seat, I just can never sustain a conversation long enough to get to the “let’s be friends!” portion (except for Pamela who sat next to me at NCT Dream in 2022! We became IG friends but her IG is just for selling/trading photocards and we have no interaction). But these girls were adding each other on socials and squealing over each others’ Kpop concert experiences, sigh. The one girl had a British accent and we made eye contact a few times and exchanged smiles and I was ready to fling myself at her. I’m so lonely, lol.

I love that GD had guitar picks made for each stop of his tour! Everyone got one as soon as tickets were scanned and I am already wearing mine as a pendant, in case you were wondering.

Henry’s stain can be seen here. I sent this to some friends who were like “he looks thrilled.” :( Look, I can’t help it that he always looks like this. Maybe it’s the “being around me” part of these things that makes him look miserable. Because he likes G-Dragon,  I know that for a fact. (OMG a man liking Korean music, HOW WEIRD.)

I needed a beer so bad before this started because MY NERVES. This was my check-in picture of Untappd but you can see the British girl in the background who I realized later reminded me of Grow With Jo whose YouTube workouts I love, so it’s no wonder I gravitated toward her!

OMG. A smile. Sort of.

I had two guys sitting on the other side of me – they were both there alone and it was the first time in history that I was actually sandwiched by men at a Kpop concert. G-Dragon is just different though. I would say it was almost an even split between men and women – and not just boyfriends and husbands being dragged along by their partners. G-Dragon has FAN BOYS. And they are actually more rabid than the girls! There were so many times throughout the night when you’d hear masculine, guttural roars of “I LOVE YOU!!!!!!” from the guys and it would make GD crack up every time. He is just truly on another level.

I think I’m going to end this here and then recap the concert portion separately because you know me and how I love to drag shit out! But I will just end by saying that I legit felt like puking and my legs were shaking uncontrollably while waiting for the lights to go off! KWON JIYONG!!!!!!

On one hand, I am so excited to recap my G-Dragon experience, but the other hand always holds the refusal to acknowledge that it’s over. This is the worst PCD I’ve experienced in quite some time – and I am pretty seasoned at this feeling! This one just really hits different. He’s just some Korean guy to my friends but to me, he is the guy who pulled me out of a crippling – and serious – depression in 2016 and added joy and excitement back into my life. I don’t ever want to be that person again and I found myself toeing that line again through 2024 and a lot of this year too. Last summer around this time, I am not afraid to admit that I was suicidal. There was a break down that happened in Chicago last August that actually gives me chills when I replay it in my head because I was so close to just letting go.   But I am going to say this right now – after last weekend, I feel alive again. So, make fun of me for liking this stuff all you want, at the end of the day it’s giving me joy when almost nothing else can. When you don’t have a good support system, turning to music is like a default.

I just don’t understand why people think it’s OK to make another person feel like shit for liking something they don’t understand. I didn’t intend for this to start out negatively but I am still stewing over the fact that one of my work friends texted me a picture of the group chat THAT I AM NOT EVEN PART OF ANYMORE BECAUSE IT WAS ADDING SO MUCH TOXICITY TO MY DAY THAT I REMOVED MYSELF and btw it wasn’t even my group anyway so I did not even belong there. Anyway, in the chat I guess they were bitching about an atty from Newark who was causing grief among the group and someone mentioned that I was actually en route to Newark to see G-Dragon so someone else was like “Maybe Henry can take care of this guy for us” or something and someone (wow, I wonder who) said, “He’d probably rather be doing that anyway” or something equally stupid and it’s just not funny anymore. Like I am “dragging” Henry to these things. Like Henry doesn’t have his own opinion. Like Henry doesn’t also genuinely like G-Dragon. WHY WOULD HENRY HAVE GONE TO KOREA WITH ME 3X. WHY WOULD HE HAVE AGREED TO GET MARRIED IN KOREA. WHY WOULD HE HAVE BEEN “IT’S OK” AFTER I SPENT $$$$ ON THESE TWO CONCERTS (you have no idea). It’s just actually rude and inconsiderate to insinuate that I am THAT controlling of Henry. Blog, do you remember when I used to go to concerts alone? IT WAS BECAUSE HENRY DIDN’T LIKE THE BANDS I WAS GOING TO SEE. Yes, occasionally he took one for the team and still went with me, but he was very open about not enjoying it.

And there have been several Kpop concerts where Henry sits in the nosebleeds because he wants to be there but we can’t really afford to both get good tickets so we sit separately. WHY WOULD HE BOTHER STILL GOING IF WE WEREN’T EVEN GOING TO SIT TOGETHER UNLESS HE GENUINELY LIKED THE GROUP?

Men can like Kpop. It doesn’t have to be a fucking joke and I’m so tired of the poor Henry comments. It’s rude to him too because it’s making it sound like he doesn’t have his own free will!? Like this can’t be something that we have bonded over?? He sends me Seventeen and G-Dragon Insta reels all day long!

Sorry-not-sorry to be ranting but that truly set me off that day and I was in a foul mood pretty much until it was time to leave the hotel and go to the Prudential Center. It didn’t help that I was also panicking aver what to eat because I didn’t want to be in pain during the concert and we struck out with the vegan place Henry found (they left us sitting at the table long enough for me to have ordering anxiety so we left) and then we went for a walk in a really crappy cemetery where I ranted more about how I’m sick of people acting like Korean (or Asian in general) things are “lesser than” because OMG no English, and then we ended up finding a nice little smoothie joint called Protein Corner where I got a delicious passion fruit smoothie bowl and Henry got a Fruity Pebbles protein shake – all made by a husband/wife team while their little kid popped in and out. It was a true family affair, and it was the perfect pre-concert  meal because it tided me over without giving me a stomach ache.

Anyway. Now that I have all of that out my system. Trust me – everything else is much more positive from here on out! Just, you know, if it’s not hurting anyone else, LET PEOPLE LIKE WHAT THEY LIKE. God, I crave these concerts so I can surround myself with people who aren’t judging me!

Here are some obligatory pre-concert hotel pictures. I was so excited to dust off my bang bong (a/k/a Bigbang lightstick)!

All of my accessories! Two mini-Daisy bongs (one is standard and the other is the mint-version that was sold through the fan club last spring – I had to set my alarm for 4AM to buy it lol), my GD photocards and keychains, and my PEACEMINUSONE red clip that was a gift for the VIPs at his 2017 concert. The only other time I ever splurged and bought VIP to get soundcheck! Anyway, by the end of the two days, I had accumulated so many freebies that my purse is an entanglement of dangling beads now lol.

I bought this scarf forever ago from someone on Etsy – it has Bigbang and G-Dragon lyrics on it and I knew immediately that I needed to use it to fancy up my daisy bong.

My big bag of freebies! I had over 100 to pass out both Friday and Saturday. This tote bag was also part of the VIP gift from the 2017 concert and it felt so apropos to use it as a freebie holder.

My Korean Vans!

You have no idea how fucking excited (and sick!!!) I was on the way to the Prudential Center! I just kept moaning, “OMG OMG OMG OMG” like I was on my way to have a baby.

Cred: Head in the Clouds

A quick interruption to my annoying vacation recap to be even more annoying by saying that:

• I saw G-Dragon
• I can’t believe that I saw G-Dragon
• I can’t believe that I saw G-Dragon two nights in a row
• I miss G-Dragon
• I love G-Dragon even more than ever
• I am ready to admit that he is my ult #1, I’m sorry Robert Smith I still love you too but….
• G-Dragon

I have so much to say about this past weekend. It was magic. Otherworldly. Somehow even better than the first time we saw him in 2017. Everything else sucks but at least I have this. How can my heart feel so full yet empty.

I think I have Henry almost on board to get matching GD tattoos – Chooch said, “ugh” and walked away in disgust lol.