Ah! When I saw that Past Self was going on tour with Clan of Xymox, I legit yelped a little bit! I have been following them for about a year or so on Instagram, since my algorithm gives me all of the Korean stuff, it was thoughtful enough to be like, “Here is a Korean goth band for your consideration.”

It’s not a secret or even a fun fact really, but I did have a pretty extensive Goth phase in my late teens/early 20s thanks to accidentally discovering a Goth chatroom called Darkchat on WEBTV in my mom’s basement, LOL. I was so obsessed with it that I would go to her house constantly to use it until she finally bought me my own WebTV console thingie. (I was living in my first apartment at the time and didn’t have a PC or a laptop yet.)

I made so many friends on that damn website, many with whom I’ll still in touch to this day, and this was also the source of much drama and crazy meet-ups as well. I had already liked the Cure at the time, and even Robert will eschew any attempts at Goth pigeon-holing, but this was when I actually started to learn about GOTH-GOTH music.

And I LIKED it.

However, I never looked or dressed the part, and that’s not an easy scene to be a part of if you’re not skulking around white face powder and black lipstick. I always looked too bubblegum and while I had a lot of Internet Goth friends, I would tend to get sneered at when out and about at Goth functions, like the infamous Dracula’s Ball, LOL. God, they hated me there.

So, I eventually fell out of that scene and, aside from The Cure and peripheral Goth bands like Gary Numan, I haven’t had any recent exposure. But Clan of Xymox is an old band (formed in the early 80s) so I figured the majority of the crowd would be people my age and older and less likely to judge me and my blond hair and Vans.

I was right.

We got in line around 6:30PM and almost immediately, the woman in front of me said, “OK, I’m obsessed with your bracelet” and so I gave her the Etsy shop where it’s from and we started chatting a little bit about how cool the jewelry is (Martha Rotten, you make the best conversation starters!). I was excited because this woman was in a legit Goth gown and her husband even had a Gothic print button-down shirt, so I felt seen. Like, I belonged there too!

There were some younger people in line, like a couple of cyber goths a few people ahead of us. That brought back BIG nostalgia, seeing the coiled extensions in the one girl’s hair and the super high platform boots. If you’ve never seen Goths dance, it can be pretty stompy, so the boots are an essential piece of the wardrobe.

In general, it was one of the most peaceful lines I’ve stood in before a show. Everyone was polite. It was fun to see what everyone was wearing. It was exciting to know every band that was being name-dropped around me because it turns out, the scene hasn’t changed too much since I last paid attention! Lots of Skinny Puppy and Depeche Mode references. It definitely appeared that everyone was there for Clan of Xymox so I was curious how well-received Past Self would be.

Oh, one more thing – the guy in charge of checking IDs of everyone in line was so nice. Great first impression of the Rumba Cafe!

We were finally let in a bit after 7PM and I had to run straight to the bathroom because theater at Ramble House or whatever that bluegrass bar was called had gone right through me plus MY PERIOD WAS IN TOWN. (Henry reminded me last week of how I used to call my period “Maude.” I literally forgot all about that!)

Anyway, while I was in the bathroom, someone started trying to force the door open from the other side and I was in PANIC MODE. That is the worst feeling ever. First of all, bathrooms in small clubs like that usually have the dinkiest lock on the door so I was PRAYING to the Goddess Hela (I don’t know, what goddesses do the Goth girlies pray to these days?) that the lock would not give out and expose me in a full-on tampon insertion pose. I quickly finished up and when I opened the door to leave, an entire crowd had formed outside, JFC. Thank god I was the first one to make it back there, because I was not in any position to stand in another line.

We secured a spot at the corner of the bar and it ended up being mostly fine.

I liked the lady who was sitting next to me on a stool, and her husband was wearing a cool Goth tophat and pointed out my bracelet to her. I’m telling you, that fucking bracelet stole the show that day.

In case you were wondering what it looks like, there are pictures in this post:

Bangles & bengals & Bingle Bangle

I’ll try to keep this short and sweet, but Past Self came out and was exactly what I wanted. Dark synth is a motherfucking drug to me, I was IN A ZONE instantly. Their stage presence was haunting without being try-hard. The singer’s voice had that signature deep tone that I came to know and love during my Goth years.

They’re from Las Vegas and the singer is Korean American, so the lyrics are a blend of Korean and English. I was so stoked when I caught Korean words here and there that I knew!

Props to Henry for getting pictures for me since I am too short. (No one was behind us but the bar so he was able to freely hold his arms up, knowing that he wasn’t being THAT PERSON who was blocking the view of everyone behind him.)

Here’s one of their videos, please watch and enjoy. (DO IT. The song means “rusty knife” and I will cut you with one if you don’t watch!!!!)

(J/K.)

After their set, we moved to the back of the venue so I could get merch. I like Clan of Xymox but didn’t feel the need to be super close for them, so this seemed like a good spot. And it happened to be where my friends from the line were!

Clan of Xymox came out with a bang, ISTG. The whole room just exploded with energy and I was caught up in it immediately. Henry, not so much. He ended up ditching me and going to stand by himself near the door after awhile and I didn’t even notice at first, LOL Everything was fine until some young guy came out of nowhere and wedged himself in between me and the girl next to me. Turns out she was his friend and he then proceeded to have a full-blown conversation with her the entire time, with very little silence. It was absolutely annoying and rude. She seemed to have been enjoying the show before he arrived, too, so I’m not sure how she felt about Chatty Chad stealing the show, but I know how I felt. I kept glaring at him and he was NOT picking up on it. Had to have been in his early 20s, no couch, 눈치 없어.

READ THE FUCKING ROOM! Why why why do people go to concerts to talk?! Go to, I don’t know, fucking Denny’s! Get a fucking coffee and Grand Slam and talk until your lips chap. DO NOT DO THIS AT A CONCERT. It got to the point where my ears refused to hook onto anything but this guy’s whiny voice.

I had planned on only staying for part of Clan of Xymox’s set anyway since we had to drive 3+ hours home, and it was 10:30PM at that point so I figured that was my cue to call it. I wasn’t trying to get into verbal fisticuffs and ruin a perfectly good day. Because it really was a perfectly good day, all around.

This wasn’t from the Columbus show but I wanted to share it anyway because this is also how our Columbus show started and I was obsessed with laser gloves!!!!

And then this one was from our show:

On the drive home, I made Henry briefly listen to the Black Bible goth compilation (I have the physical copy as well and it’s out on display in the Cure corner of the living room – a nice conversation piece lol) until he was like, “OK I’ve had enough of this now, thanks.” It can get very funeral dirge-y, as you can imagine.

And then we arrived home a little after 2AM. It was exhausting but SO MUCH FUN. I’m glad that Henry still agrees to do these things with me. We definitely have some interesting adventures!

After our little coffee break at Casa Cacao, Henry found a place on High Street for dinner. It was just a made-to-order bowl place called Roots and I’m pretty sure it’s a chain, but it was fine. I didn’t want anything heavy or greasy and bowls are usually a safe bet for me. Love having a weak stomach.

The best part was that it was walkable – like 30 minutes or so, Henry said, but it felt longer than that. It was fine except that the first part of it, Henry was like LET’S GO THROUGH THIS RESIDENTIAL AREA INSTEAD except that it wasn’t just a “residential area”—it was freaking OSU student housing and, being Saturday, there were yard and porch parties happening all around us and I felt like such a old person strolling past it all.

It didn’t get any better once we turned onto High St. because that’s basically the main drag through campus and I guess there was some kind of sports game happening that day/evening because the kids were out in droves in their red shirts.

Dinner was very basic and uneventful, but it was fun to retell my Dracula’s Ball stories to Henry even though he has heard them so many times that he probably feels like he lived them in real time at this point. I was just really excited that I was going to be revisiting my goth roots later than evening!

After dinner, we started walking back to the neighborhood where Rumba Cafe is, and were trailed for a few blocks by the sound of chaotic slapping on the pavement behind us.

“What is behind us,” I whispered to Henry.

“Flip flops,” he muttered.

But turns out not only was it flip flops, but a drunk OSU boy in flip flops. He eventually passed us and we watched in awe as he narrowly escaped the jaws of death numerous times.

It felt like being back in Brookline, honestly, except the publicly intoxicated here have a few decades on co-eds and are all clad in black and gold.

We were full from our respective bowls but I was adamant upon stopping by Buckeye Doughnuts for a sweet treat on the way back. I always say i’M nOt A bIg DoNuT fAn but a classic glazed or sugar always sounds good to me.

Plus, this place wasn’t one of those hifalutin’ epicurean donut boutiques focused on exotic ingredients procured from roots of plants on the far ends of the earth. Just your basic old-fashioned, maple-glazed cruller and coffee joint that hasn’t been renovated (but hopefully cleaned) since the 70s.

We housed these down later – they were delightful.

We were still in the bustling section of High Street when the clouds turned a foreboding shade of gray up ahead. Henry suggested stopping to the CVS we were about to pass by for an umbrella “just in case” but I consulted my 50% accurate weather app which said NO RAIN. JUST CLOUDS.

“Ooooook,” Henry sighed in a “can’t wait to say I told you so” sing-song lilt.

And exactly one block later – rain. :)

Henry the Priss was way more concerned about it than me, even though he was wearing a hat. It was just a light mist and it went away pretty quickly. Nothing was going to ruin this day, you guys.

When we got back to the Rumba Cafe, it was still about 90 minutes before doors opened, so we decided to walk down the street to a cute little bar we had passed, figuring we could kill time there.

It was called the Ramble House and a quick Google search told Henry that it was a bluegrass bar. But it was only 5:30 so we figured there wouldn’t be any bands there yet.

Wrong! Apparently, there was an early show starting at 6PM and we had arrived at the same time as the two bands. The guy at the door — it was his first night, we know this because he told us approx. 4x — was super friendly so when he told us it was a $10 cover and Henry was like, “WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO” because he always puts this shit on me which is why I’m chronically decision fatigued, I was like, “I don’t care, pay the man.” There didn’t seem to be anywhere else nearby and the main reason why we were walking everywhere was because it’s hard to get a parking spot at the Rumba Cafe but since we had arrived so early in the day, we got a prime spot on the street right in front of it. We didn’t want to lose it! And whatever, bluegrass is fine. I would survive.

Aside from a table of two men, we appeared to possibly be the only other non-band affiliated audience members. The door guy came over to us after we took our beers to a table and said, “Hey, I just talked to the boss lady and she said if you guys don’t feel like staying, you can have your cover charge back. I’m sorry, I didn’t know, it’s my first night working the door!”

Bro, he was SO EFFING NICE. And I wasn’t about to take money away from these bands. We knew we were going to be leaving during the first band’s set and that was bad enough! I hate just “walking out” in the middle of things like this especially when the place was so small with not many people there so there was no way to be inconspicuous about it. Ugh.

We enjoyed listening to these women soundcheck and were bummed when it turned out they were the second band that would be playing. :( I did find them on Instagram though and commented about how I was sad we couldn’t stay for their set and explained that we had only ended up there on a whim before a concert down the street. Me and my guilty conscience!!

And then, from their IG, I found out that their set also doubled as a going away party for one of the band members – I think she’s going to France? I forgot already! Anyway, it just kind of cracked me up a little that we randonly found ourselves in the midst of all this that night.

Someone’s kid did all of the artwork for the bar and this piece in particular really resonated me, particularly the banana. It unlocked an old music memory that had me spiraling out, trying to remember the name of the band that had an album cover with a banana on it AND NO NOT THE VELVET UNDERGROUND.

“They were in the same family as Blond Redhead and Xiu Xiu,” I said to Henry, barely caring as I frantically searched my phone for clues. “Back in my Pitchfork days….”

And then finally, I screamed DEERHOOF!! and Henry was like, “????”

(Relatedly, this also called to mind a song from another band that I lumped in with these agents of aural chaos back then, a song that my friend Alisha FUCKING HATED and I would always play it in her presence. I could hear like, 1/25th of a second of the song in my head, but couldn’t think of the band. Then, two days later, we were at home and apropos of nothing, I called out FIERY FURNACES!!! Henry was like HOW DO YOU DO THAT. I don’t know, man, my mind does what it wants. The song is “Single Again,” in case anyone has a burning thirst to know.)

The first band to go on was this bluegrass trio. Apparently, the guy in the middle is the only actual band member and the other two had to fill in for the other band members who couldn’t make it. The last name of the guy on the left is Kristofferson, and that fact is lodged into my brain like the HERE’S JOHNNY ax in a wooden door because I thought to myself, “Yes. He looks like a Kristofferson.”

Having a swell time at the bluegrass show!

Anyway, we had to leave halfway through the first band’s set in order to secure a place in line before doors opened at Rumba Cafe. We tried to slip out as quietly as possible but man, I felt so terrible. The last thing I want is for this band to see that and be like, “Wow, they hate us.”

:(

My fragile VIP heart is so full today! My ultimate favorites BIGBANG finally had their time to shine last night at Coachella. They were supposed to headline in 2020 and well, we all know what happened in 2020! Then they lost two members and between all of the scandals and backlash, G-Dragon’s hiatus, etc., it seemed like the possibility of a BIGBANG comeback was never going to happen. But it’s their 20th anniversary this year and they made their official comeback at COACHELLA.

IN AMERICA.

The last act to perform on the Outdoor Theater at 10:30PM on a Sunday, not headliners anymore, and still pulled THIS CROWD:

YouTube livestreamed it and I thought for sure my old lady ass was going to have to miss it, but I decided to go to bed early and then Henry woke me up at 1:25AM, saying, “Hey….five minutes.”

My eyelids shot open and I sat up like I was on a string. Grabbed my glasses and went downstairs to wait on the couch for it to start and when I say my heart was RACING.

I of course REALLY got into Kpop toward the end of 2016, and this was essentially the end of BIGBANG’s golden reign. They all began enlisting in the military shortly after. Then T.O.P. had his “scandal” which almost killed him. Then Seungri revealed his true colors with an ACTUAL scandal.

I long ago gave up hope of ever seeing them live. Whether as a 4 person group or 3 at this point, it was seeming less and less likely.

But this! It simultaneously made me feel unwell while also being healed?! I watched the whole hour and fifteen minutes with my hand on my heart, trying not to pass out. Henry watched the whole thing too – we both sat there quietly, no commentary. Then I just started sobbing, lol.

View this post on Instagram

This morning, it was the first thing I thought of when I woke up.  I immediately started scrolling through IG and Threads and was so happy to see how much praise they have been getting. The Kings of KPOP are back. They did that.

“Haru Haru” made me nostalgic for a time in Korea I didn’t actually live through. It BROKE me. Especially without T.O.P. Respect his wishes but jfc I really hope that one day he changes his mind and comes back.

Taeyang and G-Dragon performing “Good Boy”? Stop.

Daesung BRINGING KOREAN TROT TO FUCKING COACHELLA? He did that shit.

I have been so stoked all day (OK, while also slipping into sporadic sob sessions too!) and for the first time in years, I feel that old joy I used to get listening to their songs. Being a VIP is not for the weak, you guys. It’s been a rough 10 years. In fact, several years when Henry and I were in line to see Kang Daniel in Toronto, the girl in front of me asked me who my ult group is. I said “BIGBANG” on the broken wings of a sigh.

“I’m sorry,” she answered somberly.

It’s like that.

But today, I woke up feeling like this is the start of a new era! I poured my coffee in my BIGBANG coffee cup and put on a BIGBANG playlist while sitting down to work. I smiled like a goof while doing my boring work.

BIGBANG FOREVER.

Last week, a post from this band called Basic Printer came up in my feed, talking about the tour they were on. They tagged another band, who I actually do follow so it made sense that it popped up for me. I noticed that the last stop of the tour was Pittsburgh, and it was ON EASTER.

We had NOTHING to do on Easter, aside from being pathetic empty nesters. And I did have a moderate interest in seeing the band that was tagged (Spirit of the Bear). But I got distracted as usual and moved on to other things. But then I got a sponsored ad in my Insta stories from Basic Printer and it really caught me at the right time, and so off to YouTube I went to see if this band had any videos.

I watched one, liked what I saw/heard, looked up the tickets for the show. $10!! I told Henry, “We’re going to this” and before he could even ask who/what/when/where, the tickets were bought.

($20 even – no stupid fees or taxes!!! It was like the OLDEN DAYS when you’d see a flyer or an ad in the City Paper and get cheap tickets at the door. But in this case, it was Instagram and Basic Printer’s website. Close enough!)

This was our first time at Poetry Lounge, but I have been following them for about a year now on Insta and I’m actually surprised that between them and Spirit of the Bear, I had seen nary a crumb dropped about this show.

First impressions:

• cozy & chill dive bar atmosphere FOR SURE; loved it.
• super friendly and helpful bartenders who did not make us feel like we stuck out like a sore thumb among the regulars

I was happy with this place so far!

There are booths along  the side of the place, but you can’t see the stage from there. That’s the only downside and short of gutting the space and rebuilding, I don’t see how that can be changed. There is only a small space in front of the stage, then the wall juts out a bit and the space becomes a narrow corridor between the bar and the booths, and everyone just has to cram up in there.

I desperately wanted Henry to take one for the team and get the Weird Al but he held firm in his refusal. “Do you want me to be sick?” he cried, but I will tell you this: if they had veggie dogs as a substitute, my fat ass would have beasted a Weird Al right there on that Easter evening, bathed under the blue lights of Poetry Lounge. I have Twinkies very rarely – like maybe one every 10 years – but I do genuinely like them, fuck those haters of ultra-processed greasy sweetened cream-filled sponges.

Come on, this is the same bitch who puts bleu cheese slaw and Froot Loops on her veggie dogs every time we visit Happy Dog in Cleveland (two whole times, but still).

And then it was time for Basic Printer! Henry of course stayed in the booth but I shouldered (POLITELY!!!) my way through the gathering crowd to get closer to the front. It was annoying because the “front row” was pretty far back from the stage, but during one of the songs, the keyboardist ran out and encouraged everyone to  move up so that was my chance – when the people in front of me barely moved I said “EXCUSE ME” super sweetly and blew past them so I could get closer. I like being all up in these things, I can’t help it! Even when I say to Henry, “You know, I’m older now, so I’m going to go to this show, sit at the bar and just relax.” Or: “I’ve seen this band enough times, I can be content with standing way back.” Or: “I don’t really know any of the bands that much, so I’ll just observe comfortably from the shadows.”

THIS. NEVER. HAPPENS.

Example: The Honey Revenge show!

PVRIS!

OMG you guys, from the beginning notes of the first song, I knew I had made a great decision! This band slaps! I love the quirky, retro keyboards and watching this young crowd of….what scene would this even be? Neo-hipsters? I’m not sure! But they dance in a specific way and I was loving it, like being at a Peanuts dance party. I’m used to the “too cool for school” head nods or just maniacal jumping, but this was something different and I was there for it.

My therapist was intrigued (you guys, I have no one else to talk to, LOL) and asked me to describe the crowd. I thought about it and said, “Well, for example, I was wearing a bright red kawaii sweater and was pretty much the only color in a scene of beige, camel, and olive.” No assholes at all though, everyone was very polite as they had no choice but to cut through the bottle-necked crowd to reach the bathroom. Cozy establishment but you better be OK with cosplaying a sardine in a full tin in order to enjoy a show there!

(Thankfully, I am OK with crowds in this context.)

But wow, Basic Printer! What a serendipitous sitch – so glad I was a “victim” of a targeted ad, LOL! After their set, I went to the merch table, bought a tour shirt, a vinyl, and got a signed Pokemon card from Jessie!

I sent a picture to Chooch who was likely furious because I never cared about Pokemon before and now here I am like, “Mommy’s first Pokemon card!”

I rejoined Henry at the booth after Basic Printer but then had to run again for Spirit of the Bear. Another solid, dance-y set!

There was one guy there who I pointed out earlier to Henry because finally we found someone who MIGHT have been in the same age bracket as him (this is a fun game we play at shows although I will say that I was also over the median age for this one as well). Anyway, turned out it was the singer’s DAD! He played the SAXOPHONE on the last song of the set and it was so precious!

Spirit of the Bear is from Youngstown, Ohio which is only about an hour away so this was kind of like a hometown show for them, and the last show of the tour as well so it felt really special! They kept reminding us that we were witnessing a moment, part of a memory in the making, and, well – you know how fucking sentimental I am so I was on the verge of tears even knowing next to nothing about these bands that night. But, the connection had been made!

I sat with Henry for a little while longer afterward while people were clearing out and just really took in the place. I genuinely liked it there and want to go back soon even if it’s not for a band! They had an interesting cocktail list and maybe I want something fancy in a shark glass.

Before we left, Henry and I (well, maybe scratch the “Henry” part) chatted again with Jessie from Basic Printer and I just felt so alive after that! What a fantastic way to spend Easter as empty nesters. I am so glad that we are finding things to fill the void while waiting for the next big Kpop concert to happen (BIGBANG!?) and that Henry is willing to accompany me because maybe he won’t agree but we have been having the best time lately!

So, I woke up at the crack of dawn this morning to the news of Mark Lee leaving SM and halting all NCT activities. First, I saw it from his own Instagram – you know it’s not going to be good when the post is a picture of a handwritten letter. I still didn’t fully understand the context – what was he apologizing for? Was there a scandal? Did he get hurt?

But then right after, I saw SM’s statement confirming that they had mutually decided to part ways after 10 years. Mark Lee! Literally carried 4 teams on his back at one time. The backbone of NCT. Haechan’s bestie.

It’s no wonder why there were so many videos of the NCT Dream members straight up sobbing during the finale of their Dream Show run in Seoul – we all thought they were just sad because that era had ended, but no, they knew. They knew it was their last time performing with Mark. Ughhhhh.

Sorry to be MELODRAMATIC, the man isn’t dead, but yo…NCT has been my antidepressant for YEARS. They were also at the first Kpop concert I ever went to – KCON 2017! I feel blessed that I got to see Mark so many times with NCT127, NCT Dream, and even – gloriously – Super M. I will support him no matter what, especially since it sounds like he made this decision for himself and he has admitted that he is scared of what’s to come.

FUN FACT, back when Chooch was a Kpop stan with me, Mark was his bias.

This is true with bands of any genre because aging is aging no matter how you slice it, but there is something especially jarring about watching Kpop groups grow up. There is little in life that makes me feel as old and panicked about time & mortality as going through an entire life cycle of a Kpop group and realizing that you’re reaching the inevitable expiration date. I hate it so much. I fear that NCT won’t survive this and their current & future military enlistments. I mean, I thought that all of the viral “NCT Dream crying” videos from this week were because they knew Haechan was due to enlist soon. Not this. (BTW, Mark is Canadian and exempt from military enlistment in Korea so Henry and I are always talking about how with NCT Dream, at least they would still have him, Renjun and Chenle (both Chinese), and NCT127 would have him, Johnny (American) and Yuta (Japanese), but I guess that is not going to be the case after all.

This is making me spiral out for so many strange, personal, possibly neurotic reasons. I have attachment issues (bigly). I take everything so hard. And it’s such a weird thing to be like, “Hi, I’m upset, can I talk to you about it?” to anyone other than Henry, who has been bracing for the fall out and of course it happens when he leaves to go to Lowe’s and I’m here alone, thinking about all of my favorite NCT memories, how I never got my NCT Dream tattoo (but really need to), and just how they have always been my cozy/comfort listen. Tears incoming.

This will always be one of my favorites:

And before I end this: A BIG FUCK YOU TO SM. I know it’s been said that this was a genuinely respectful departure and not the typical LEGAL NOTICE that these agencies are also putting out in these situations, I just feel like they could treat their artists better. They worked this man to the fucking bone for 10 years.

ETA: I just heard someone say that Mark chose himself and you know, TRUE. That takes away some of the hurt knowing that Mark is going to be able to do what HE wants to do now (hopefully starting with a vacation and lots of rest!!).

Last Saturday, Henry and I drove to Chicago to see Key at the Riviera Theater. Key is a member of one of my absolute favorite groups, SHINee. I am so happy that in the same calendar year, we had the much-appreciated pleasure of seeing not just Key, but also Taemin and Onew on their own respective solo tours. That’s 3/4 of (present-day) SHINee!

(RIP always to Jonghyun – the 8th anniversary of his death was actually a short 5 days after the Key concert which made it bittersweet.)

After an afternoon of shopping in Logan Square and scarfing down Beacon Doughnuts at Logan Vegan, we made our way to the Hilton in Evanston, where I changed into my concert OOTD. I went with this metallic gold blouse thing that I forgot I owned, because I felt that it gave off outer space / galactic vibes like some of Key’s stage outfits!

It is a really awkwardly-fitting top which I forgot about but I didn’t bring any back-ups, so oh well, too bad so sad.

The theater was about a 25 minute drive from our hotel. Originally, we had talked about just taking the L or whatever they call their train in Chicago, but it was legit 0 degrees that evening and it required a transfer so I cried, “CAN WE PLEASE JUST DRIVE?!!?” If it spring/summer/fall, sure, let’s pub-transit it up, who cares. But I absolutely hate being outside in the cold and please, just give me convenience.

I wanted to leave early because who knows what parking challenges we had ahead of us, but of course, we found parking immediately on the street that the theater was on, and it was also right outside of this place called FAT CAT, where we had some pre-show beers and small bites.

I found out about the Brown University shooting on the TV behind Henry. Happy Holidays.

I had a delightful winter ale from Spiteful Brewing called Jingle Balls. I have learned in my brewery travels that I genuinely like winter / Christmas beers. You’d think I’d be a lush for the October / pumpkin ones but they just don’t hit the way I want them to!!?

LOL purposely used this picture for Untappd because I’m such a sweetheart. This was Henry’s Cinnamon Prost from Old Irving Brewing Co. It was good! I stole a few sips. He also got a winter ale called Fall For Revenge from Pig Minds and it was also worthy of a few stolen sips. I stuck with just one beer for myself because this stupid brewery passport stamp-collecting has made me concerned that I’m becoming an alcoholic.

I also got a delicious carrot ginger soup and Henry and I shared a plate of vegan chicken bites. It was perfect pre-concert food and I didn’t feel sick at all afterward!

Toward the end of our stay there, a young couple came in on a date. She was from Australia and it sounded like they go to college together, I guess? Anyway, he ordered a DUVAL which I LOVE and he tried to give her a taste but she said she doesn’t like beer. It took everything in my power to not blurt out, “I DIDN’T EITHER UNTIL I HAD MY FIRST BELGIAN BEER TRY IT YOU MIGHT LIKE IT.” But I bit my lip and tried to focus on other things, like, I don’t know, Henry.

But then the guy started talking about THE BEERS HE HAD WHEN HE WAS IN BELGIUM and I made anguished eye contact with Henry, like, “PLEASE LET ME INTERRUPT” but Henry gave me a tiny head shake, like, “no Erin, don’t barge into their date.”

UGH.

Our time at Fat Cat was excelsior with ONE EXCEPTION: we started the evening out with a superb server and then I guess her shift ended so she was swapped out with some super intense man server who made me feel so pressured to be done with everything in front of me – he tried to take Henry’s beer when he still, god forbid, had one small chug left to it so Henry swiftly pulled the glass away and said, “I’m not finished yet.” Jesus Christ, bro, let us BREATHE. I could see if he was trying to usher us along to free up a table but…it was not crowded there AT ALL.

Oh, I’m sorry – one other complaint. Every time the door opened, Father Frost came wafting in and that place NEVER WARMED UP. I was so cold that I eventually put my coat back on.

We eventually left around 6:20 because the doors for Key were supposed to be at 6:30. When I tell you it was the SHORTEST LINE I have ever stood in for a Kpop concert, I’m not lying – that’s how you know the cold was no joke. Plus, it was a seated concert so I’m sure no one felt the need to be FIRST.

Doors were late opening and I eventually reached the point where I was so cold that I seriously worried about losing my toes. I did have a hat and gloves on but I was just wearing Vans and two pairs of socks. I had to march in place to keep my blood from freezing too.

Thankfully, there were still some brave souls passing out freebies, and I of course was being very overzealous about asking for some. I love my freebies, OK?? And I genuinely appreciate everyone who takes the time to make these special little mementoes.

Finally, we got to go inside! I truly feel like it was 7PM by the time we got in there. I was in so much fucking pain that when Henry left me to go to the bathroom, I had to get up out of my seat and walk around out of genuine fear that there was something medically wrong with my feet. My LORD I can’t remember the last time I was this cold!? Maybe when I did that effing ghost hunt at the abandoned school in South Park?!! That was definitely during the winter, in the middle of the night at a school with no utilities. Super awesome times.

I went back downstairs and accidentally ended up in the merch line, which was VERY SHORT, so even though Henry was instructed to get me a shirt after he went to the bathroom, I scooped one up super quickly – legit THE EASIEST merch experience I have had at a Kpop concert to date. Chef’s kiss, A+++ efficiency.

We were in the center section of whatever “LOGE” is – the front part of the balcony, 4 rows back. It was awesome – there was a railing behind us with the walkway and then the rest of the balcony started back from that.

Henry’s seat mate saw us struggling to take a selfie (they had these bright blue stage lights going from the moment everyone entered the place and they were extremely blinding to the point where I honestly wished I had sunglasses in my purse) so she offered to take several for us which was so nice! She looked extremely familiar. We chatted with her a bit and learned that she’s from Buffalo and also traveled to Chicago last February to see Taemin, so we think we might have recognized her from that show! I love the Kpop community. I can’t tell you how many of the same faces I used to see at my old sad boy concerts but god forbid anyone talk to me at those things.

Oh you guys. Did Key become my SHINee bias after this!?!? Is it time for me to just admit that I legitimately cannot be forced to choose a bias at this point because I love all SHINee members equally and for some many different reasons? Key put on such a strong show from start to finish. He is also exceptionally fluent in English AND SO FUCKING FUNNY that it almost felt like a stand-up show at times. His MENTS were hysterical!

We stan a man who can sing, dance, and make us laugh with his effortless humor and biting sassiness. Key delivers on all points!

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The two seats next to me remained empty all the way up to when Key took the stage, and even during the 1 or 2 songs. Eventually, two women took the seats but then it turned out one of the seats belonged to someone else – a MAN! I kept telling Henry that I hoped a man would be sitting next to me, I don’t know why since I actually fucking hate men, and it actually happened! I will say, it was an older demographic for Key and there were more men than usual – one of them was down by the stage and Key even called him out during one of his MENTS and even said, “KPOP is a weird industry, right? So WEIRD…..” I was dying. Actually, there were so many moments where Key had me laughing so hard that my stomach was starting to hurt. HE IS SO FUNNY!! Key mentioned numerous times that he was so grateful to finally get to do a solo tour in the US, after being an idol for 18 YEARS. He even threw shade to his agency at one point too which was amazing.

(Honestly, do better, SM. You have the most amazing talent on your roster and you treat them like shit.)

I am so glad that we were able to attend one of his shows because he deserves all of the sold-out venues, for real. What an icon.

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One of my favorite moments was when people started yelling “RING DING DONG!” which is a super popular SHINee song from back in the day that is such an ear worm that it was actually banned in Korea during exam season because it would get stuck in students’ head and make it hard for them to concentrate – LOL I’M NOT KIDDING, this is an actual thing in Korea where songs will get banned for that reason.

Anyway, Key famously is sick of that song so people do this to goad him. He stopped talking and said, “Oh shut up!” in the most harmless way and then when someone else yelled, “REPLAY!” (SHINee’s debut song 18 years ago!) he said “shut up” again and then immediately sang, “Noona namu yeppeo….” and we all fucking lost our minds!

I felt so energized and WARM after this show. Key is a gem, a true treasure. I’m honestly tearing up as I recap this because it was a really emotional night for me and so many others in that theater who have never had the good fortune of seeing SHINee. We’re just collecting their solo concerts at this point. (LET’S GO, MINHO!!!!)

I screamed so much that night that I could feel my voice submitting its PTO request before we even left the Riviera.

SET LIST

1. Strange
2. Helium
3. CoolAs
4. Want Another
5. Killer
6. Guilty Pleasure
7. HUNTER
8. Heartless
9. Good & Great
10. Pleasure Shop
11. Picture Frame
12. Another Life
13. BAD LOVE
14. Gasoline
15. Imagine
16. GLAM (the guy next to me popped off during this one & I loved it!)
17. This Life
18. Lavender Life

In case Henry one day gets famous and you get asked about what his favorite Key song is on a radio show morning trivia sesh, it’s Gasoline. He didn’t hesitate at all when I grilled him over his favorite part of the night.

I couldn’t go to bed that night until I sorted through all of my freebies! I was so stoked to get a Helium bracelet <3

Wait an absolute banger of a concert. And without expended too much energy on this, I would be remiss to not mention that while he was here in the US – IN THE MIDDLE OF A FUCKING TOUR – he got dragged into this ridiculous scandal where some broad was busted for administering illegal injections outside of hospitals. From my understanding, she was a trusted woman who was giving medical IVs to clients, sounds like to treat mild things like dehydration and exhaustion, but her clients didn’t know she was unlicensed. First, a comedienne went down for this, and it happened that she was co-starred with Key on a variety show, and then it was discovered that at some point, she had posted a picture on her Instagram of Key’s very famous dogs, which brought him into the scandal.

This happened a few days before his Chicago show and I was actually concerned that the rest of his tour was going to get canceled because that’s how nasty Korea can be over these things. First, everyone over there was up in arms because he wasn’t releasing a statement. (HE WAS IN AMERICA, ON TOUR. LET THE MAN BREATHE.)

Then when his tour ended, he released a statement admitting that he did receive treatments but didn’t know she was unlicensed, so then everyone bitched because his statement was too INSINCERE. Jesus Christ. So he ultimately has stepped down from all of his variety shows and upcoming commitments, including the SM Town concert in 2026. Unbelievable. I LOVE Korea for many reasons, but there are also numerous reasons that makes me so angry with them as a country too.

If his career is ruined over this….I just can’t even think about that. Please go listen to his music.

1. You guys the weirdest thing happened. Ok not the weirdest but oddly coincidental.

Last Saturday, Henry and I were at Sly Fox downtown and Portishead’s “Glory Box” came on. I haven’t really listened to Portishead since the late 90s / early 00s and honestly that was probably the last time I heard that song. I even commented to Henry that I hadn’t heard it in forever and it was sort of unexpected.

Exactly one week later, we were at this bar / restaurant in Chicago called Fat Cat’s and it came on there too??!! I texted Chooch and even he was like “wow weird.”

THEN!! This morning before leaving Chicago, we stopped in this store called Wolfbait (my new favorite store btw) and IT CAME ON AGAIN. Actually, that was the only place of the three where that song didn’t feel out of context. But it still caught me off guard!

2. I like Bruno Mars and Lady Gaga but for some reason I never really paid attention to Die With a Smile and I’m 100% positive that I never listened to it in its entirety because I don’t listen to KISS FM anymore now that I’m not driving Chooch to school. But that song is super popular in Romania apparently so that was actually my first time really hearing it, many times.

Anyway – just the other day, DK and Seungkwan from Seventeen released a cover of it and it is my favorite thing currently. I love that Seungkwan is holding a lollipop instead of a cigarette!

Well, that’s all. We only just got home around 10pm and I am ready to crash out. These road trips, man. Henry was like, “yay! This is the last one we have planned!” Watch what you say, sir. There are any number of kpop groups that could announce a US tour at any moment lol. (Hopefully Wonho’s cancelled tour gets rescheduled soon but I’m super stoked that he was at least still here promoting and making the media rounds!)

It’s been a minute since I went to a concert alone (not counting the kpop concerts we go to where we sit floors apart) but when I saw that PVRIS was bringing their 10th anniversary White Noise tour to Pittsburgh I didn’t even bother asking Henry if he wanted to go because I knew he’d say no. So I signed up for the presale and bought one ticket just for me – cheap and easy!

The White Noise album technically came out 11 years ago and it was on constant rotation in our house for a long time back then! From the moment I saw the video for St Patrick, I was subbed.

I’ve seen them a whole bunch of times since then – mostly at Warped Tour and as the opener for other bands – but coincidentally every time I have seen them headline, I’ve been alone (this was the third time!).

Henry dropped me off at the Roxian 30 minutes before doors and I was kind of shocked at how short the line was. Granted, it was a cold night but that usually doesn’t stop die hards. The Roxian opened sometime after I had become totally immersed in Kpop so I actually had never been here before this night since I wasn’t going to non-Kpop concerts for a big chunk of there.

While I was standing there, I saw a man get out of a parked car down the street and start walking over to the line. I squinted and was like, “OMG HENRY CAME BACK! HE BOUGHT A TICKET AND CAME BACK FOR ME!” because the man was of Henry’s age, same glasses, same beard…but the closer he came the more groomed he was and also his beard was more solid white and manscaped well. So, not Henry. But that man was definitely attending the concert though because at one point during the night I turned around and saw him standing up in the balcony.

Anyway! Doors opened right at 7PM. As my purse was getting casually inspected (have fun sifting through my collection of YOU NEVER KNOW tampons, Male Security, one of the lady staff standing nearby said she liked my purse.

“And your shoes, too!” she added and I did my signature cringey Shirley Temple hand-under-chin smile thing that I do which totally sends Chooch. Good thing he wasn’t there but I was sure to text him about it.

(My purse and shoes were both Vans! 99.9% of my shoe collection is Vans. I stay consistent. The only non-Vans I have ever coveted are the G-Dragon Para-noise Nikes which have been unattainable for me over these last 6 years.)

Once I got inside, I made a beeline for the barricade. It’s my go-to when I’m at shows alone. Usually far-right barricade. It seemed like the people at the barricade to my left were also there alone, and we all just kind of leaned against it, mindlessly scrolling through our phones, until the opener – Dua Saleh – came on. That was fine with me because small talk is exhausting to me, especially after a full day of work that also included therapy. I was happy to stand there alone in silence until the show started.

I went in blind to Dua Saleh and was blown away. First of all, they came out on crutches, foot in a boot, and still managed to work the stage.

I was blown away – I think all of us there who didn’t have prior exposure to them left that night as a fan. Their singing was soulful and mystical, honestly hypnotic to the point where I began to forget where I was.

Afterward, we were entertained by watching the stage crew go through the tedious process of attaching furniture to the stage lighting trusses (I made Henry look up the technical name for me because I was just calling the “stage light things” lol). Meanwhile, not one but two Fergie songs played which had me dying because we were talking about the meme of her singing horribly on GMA (I think?) and doing back flips across the stage. I honestly can’t remember the last time I actually heard a Fergie song out in the wild, but they had an early 00s playlist pumping so it made sense but still!

The final result!

Oh, before I get into the rest, I want to give a shout out to the security at the front of the stage – there were three of them and they were so chill. I had fun watching them fuck around with each other in between sets and taking selfies to send to their security friends in the balcony. My first impression of the Roxian was really solid!

And finally….PVRIS. I knew I was going to cry but I didn’t expect to cry AS SOON as they came out on stage. (OK that’s a lie, lol.) But damn, it’s been too long since I last saw them live and that’s totally on me. (I think the last time was actually when I saw them in Royal Oak, Michigan?? That may have been in 2018.)

They tore through the entire White Noise album – no breaks, no banter in between songs. That did feel kind of sterile but also added a layer of mystery and seriousness, if you know what I mean. Like, this is such a special album and a special night honoring it, so it made sense that all the banter was saved up until the special set proceeding White Noise because it kept us all in the zone.

But Lynn is such a light-hearted banterer so it was definitely refreshing to hear her speaking voice after White Noise was finished. It brought us back down to earth, in a way, anchored us after that wildly emotional ride!

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You and I is one of my favorites and I screamed my throat raw during this one (not my video!!):

I don’t really know what else to say other than it was a great crowd, a great show, and an overall great night even though I was alone! I feel like the last two times I went to one of their headlining shows, the crowd was annoying, but the crowd was so cool and considerate at this show. When the person who was originally next to me gave up their spot to the young girl behind us who was SUPER STOKED TO BE THERE, she turned to me at one point and asked, “You can still see, right??” Her flailing arm was blocking my view a lot of the time but I just smiled and told her she was fine because go off, queen! She was living her best night and I’m not going to stand there and be a tight-lipped Karen because she has her arm in the air. (If it would have been her phone, that’s a different story!) But she was so cute and I was jumping and flailing about too so who cares. Just a really great crowd.

My voice was cooked after that though because I just screamed my face off most of the night (most of my video clips are just my big mouth lol). I felt so GOOD after that and was blabbering my head off to Henry on the way home.

PVRIS 4EVER.

SETLIST

1. SMOKE
2. ST PATRICK
3. MY HOUSE
4. HOLY
5. WHITE NOISE
6. FIRE
7. EYELIDS*
8. MIRRORS
9. GHOSTS
10. LET THEM IN
11. YOU & I
12. BURN THE WITCH
13. SNAKES
14. GOOD ENEMY
15. ANIMAL
16. DEAD WEIGHT
17. LOVE IS A….
18. I DON’T WANNA DO THIS ANYMORE**
19. HALLUCINATIONS
20. GODDESS

*Ugh, Christina and I liked this song together
**What I say approx. 87x an hour during my typical work day

UGH, I love PVRIS so much.

I am obligated to end this with a picture of Chooch and Lynn Gunn from Warped Tour 2015! The line was actually cut off for their meet and greet and were like “:(” but then Lynn saw Chooch in his Emarosa tank and she called out to us, “I designed that shirt!” (she’s also an artist!) and then waved us over to their merch table and took a picture with Chooch. She was so gracious and sweet and it’s something that stands out in my mind every time I think of PVRIS. <3

Spotify Unwrapped tells me my age is 21 while I’m sitting here on the couch hours after falling on black ice starting to wonder if I have internal bleeding. Honestly, the fall was very graceful if I do say so myself! My right leg shot out in front and I slowly slid forward and gently -somehow-came to a rest on my left knee like I was frozen in a Senior portrait softball slide pose. I was holding a library book and three mailers of my Etsy greeting cards to be mailed and dropped none of it! Then, after saying “oh god” I popped back up like it didn’t happen and felt so empowered, like, “this is what they mean when they say strength training is good for women in their 40s! I nailed that fall! Nice try, black ice!” But then as the day went on, my body slowly started alerting me to new aches and pains.

This was also the morning after I went to a solo concert last night like old times and felt totally free & youthful, screaming and jumping at the barricade. That sidewalk this morning was like, “LOL u thought.”

Anyway, here are my Unwrapped highlights which cracked me up because #1 artist is so out of place but also – not surprising, I guess? The only thing that surprises me is that Stray Kids is my #3 because I don’t feel like I listened to them that much this year but Spotify knows all I guess.

I love how these alternate lol.

This was not a surprise.

Seriously though, I know we went to see Stary Kids in June but I don’t remember listening to them that much outside of that!?

This cracked me up.

Yep, makes sense. On Monday while I was working, Chooch walked through the door, glanced at the TV*, and said drolly, “I can’t wait for you to get your Spotify Unwrapped and retrowave is your top genre.” HA! NICE TRY! Sure, synthwave is close enough but it’s #5!

*(I usually play Spotify on Roku or put on YouTube playlists. In case you needed that for your case study.)

This was a weird year for me, musically.

I haven’t shot off any music videos into the ether in a while so here are some jams that I have been obsessing over lately! (See also: need a break from typing words lol.)

1. PRESTON KNIGHT – A NIGHT TO REMEMBER

Originally, I was going to post the first one of his songs that I heard but then this one slipped into my heart. I appreciate that his music videos have a Lost Boys / horror-theme to them! How to steal my heart:

• 80s synth
• horror-themed music videos
• smooth vocals

2. NCT DREAM – BEAT IT UP

NEW NCT DREAM ALERT!! WAKE UP!! NEW NCT DREAM DROPPED!!

God, I still love them so much.

3. SUMMER SCHOOL & RYAN PREWETT – SENTIMENTS

Sadly, there is no music video for this but I would remiss not to share it (I was spamming my work friends with this last week on Teams because it’s just too good and even GLENN LIKED IT). It’s like next gen Rick Astley and I can’t get over how good it is. If I had gone the traditional wedding route, I would be so mad right now that this wasn’t around yet to play at the reception.

4. CHANDLER LEIGHTON – SAY LESS

I’ve been in my Chan era since seeing her open for Johnnie Guilbert.

5. DAVID DEEJAY feat. DONY – SEXY THING

OK this one is old but I recently found out that the Romanian music I became obsessed with on our trip is a genre called POPCORN which makes it even more amazing. Anyway, this song comes up a lot in Popcorn playlists and instantly gets stuck in my head like a popcorn kernel in the teeth. IS THAT WHY THEY CALL THIS POPCORN??

Well, there you go. Five songs. Maybe one will stick.

(SRSLY THOUGH SUMMER SCHOOL BETTER GO ON TOUR BECAUSE I WILL TRAVEL FOR THAT SHIT. Heads up, Henry.)

Remember last spring when I accidentally became a Johnnie Guilbert fan? Well, Henry and I got to see him last week at Skully’s Music Diner in Columbus! (OMG before you even assume that Henry didn’t want to do, I have someone’s video from that night playing on YouTube for blogging inspo and Henry was whispering the words!!)

First time at Skully’s! A love a new-to-me venue but I also get curiously anxious beforehand too. Fear of the unknown, etc. This one ended up being tiny with just the amount of grime. You know I love kpop with my whole heart but I really miss these small shows in dark, sweaty venues too! I’m glad that I have been squeezing these in again.

Chooch didn’t know why we were in Columbus until I sent him this picture and his response was, “Ugh. Great.”

There were two college-aged girls in line behind us talking about how embarrassed they’d be if their parents came with them to see Johnnie and I was like, “Do they think we’re here with our children? OMG DO THEY THINK I’M HENRY’S DAUGHTER???”

LOL.

I appreciated that I got carded and the girl at the door who was way younger than me called me “dear” when she called me over to get a wristband. This night was already off to a great start.

Creepy red-light special bathroom and giant ornately-framed mirror. Obsessed. Not obsessed with the fact that the bathroom stall had a curtain instead of a door though.

We were standing in a dark corner so this selfie looks like I took it on my old red Blackberry in 2007.

I don’t know what it was about Skully’s but I felt super cozy there and confidently abandoned Henry to go upstairs and buy my JOHNNIE VIOLENT DREAMS TOUR SHIRT. It’s a weird-feeling material but I will still wear it when Chooch is home for Thanksgiving because I love to trigger him and remind him that Mommy has young interests.

They still had their Halloween decorations up and that really set the mood. And they were playing some awesome emo tracks too, some of which inspired high-energy sing-alongs from the crowd (Metro Station, lol). I was stoked that they played an old Jimmy Eat World song but no one else seemed to know it so I felt old.

I took this to send to Chooch as proof that Johnnie has fans.

Chander Leighton was added as the opening act a few weeks before the tour started and I didn’t know anything about her because friends, that ain’t my scene anymore. I skimmed her Insta and thought I had an idea of the vibe she was going to bring and expected to be ambivalent toward it. What I didn’t expect was IMPRINTING ON CHANDLER LEIGHTON THAT NIGHT. Holy shit you guys, she was phenomenal, the rizz was oozing. I was completely captivated. Here’s some clips!

Meanwhile, the cutest couple ever was standing near us, dancing together through her whole set (and, later, Johnnie’s). They were kind of neo-bohemian, he sounded like Spicolli, and for some reason instead of annoying me, I thought they were so charming and adorable together and I hope they last forever. They were just existing in their little space, not bothering anyone, we love to see it. Meanwhile, Henry stood like a block of Disgruntled Elder behind me even though he CLAIMS to be having a “good” time.

AND THEN IT WAS JOHNNIE TIME! I just love him so much and in some weird parasocial way, I’m proud of him. He’s very open about his struggles with depression and residual trauma of losing his dad at a young age, not to mention being groomed by an older YouTuber when he was just a teenager. It’s crazy that this stuff was happening when Chooch met the aforementioned YouTuber at Warped Tour. Chooch was right to think this guy was a loser even at such a young age!

For the most part, the crows was pretty OK people but there were some young girls gravitated to our area toward the end that lacked concert etiquette and I was not happy with them. But mostly, I enjoyed watching all of the girls lose their minds every time Johnnie came to their side of the stage. Adorable. (OK, and relatable haha.)

But now Johnnie is in his late 20s and his music is gaining more and more traction – I’m sorry but I feel proud of him! And I genuinely 100% like his music too.

Henry’s favorite parts of the show:

• VAMPIRE
• ZOMBIE
• “I liked that first person. I can never remember her name. Yeah, Chandler. Leighton.”
• Right Girl Wrong Time

Someone asked him to do Timmy and he said no and I think that was Henry’s least favorite moment of the night because he loves Johnnie’s Timmy persona.

Please enjoy this series of snippets from the night!

He stayed on stage afterward and signed things for everyone and seemed like he was sincerely wanted to meet every single person in that room. We stan a prince who appreciates his fans.

I wanted him to sign the shirt that I was wearing but also felt weird because I’m nearly 20 years older than him so in the end, I accepted my fate (age) and we head out to start the 3 hour drive home. T O T A L L Y worth the drive, right HENRY??

(I guess I could have taken off my shoe to get signed like that person up there?!?!)

Here’s Henry’s version of Vampire, he missed almost all of the song because he thought he was recording AND HE WASN’T BUT THAT’S OK HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAUGHHHHHH.

“Vampire” is my favorite Johnnie song. Back when I started watching Jake Webber’s videos and had the realization that, wait, is that Johnnie Guilbert from the Warped Tour YouTuber days??? and then saw that he makes music now, I had the kneejerk presumption that it was going to be super lame. “Ha! Let’s see about this,” I thought as I went to YouTube and played the first video that came up, which happened to be Vampire. And then almost instantly, I said, “Oh. Fuck. Goddammit.” I hate it when I’m wrong! But I’m also glad that I was because exploring his music and watching his YouTube has been so much fun since then!

Anyway, I’m grateful that Henry and I are still doing things like driving to Columbus for a concert and driving home the same night. IT KEEPS US YOUNG RIGHT HENRY.

“Didn’t you just see them?” Chooch replied when I texted him from the City Winery last Thursday evening, as we waited for the Cold concert to start. Um yes, we did “just” see them back in the spring BUT this was a special, intimate tour in collaboration with the City Winery, and Cold was bringing SIERRA SWAN with them.

SIERRA SWAN!!!

As someone who was big into Cold during their earlier years, I was always sad to never get to see her perform any of the songs on 13 Ways to Bleed on Stage in real life. So when this tour was announced, I tagged my pal Shawn – we were little Cold groupies back in the day! – and he said that not only were he and his wife Jess down for this, but also his brother Dave and his wife Stephanie! I reserved a table for us POST HASTE. I was so excited to get to see Cold again with Shawn – the last time was probably in 2001 (!!!!) and for all of us to get to experience this together as “big” adults.

I did just see them last spring and did my whole emo “blood on the blog” thing after that concert so I will try to keep this short and sweet, but good Lord was it ever a magical night.

I sent this to Chooch, whose response was, “Wow he’s almost smiling.”

The opening band was Edisun and it turns out that not only did I see them open for Cold way back in 2010 (I went with Alisha, when she was still living in Pgh), but so did Shawn’s brother, Dave! Dave was also at the one they did with Evanescence, and so were Henry and me! So crazy, because I think prior to this I had only met Shawn’s brother once and it was forever ago when he was still a kid and I went to Shawn’s house for some reason?! Anyway, Edisun was really great but I felt weird because I was trying to take surreptitious bites of my kale salad (it was such a great salad!!). I’m sorry but it will never be normal for me to eat during a concert!? It’s weird enough having to sit during one. (This one was 100% a seated event.)

Plus, we were only one table back from the stage! The first row of tables were a tiny bit more $$ but honestly, they were TOO CLOSE and I would have felt so weird sitting down and eating that close to Scooter Ward, even though I was done with my (SUPER DELECTABLE*) kale salad by the time they came on.

*I cannot stress this enough – it had a spicy sunflower dressing! It was so good that it was a topic of conversation the next day when I had my check-in with my dietician!

They opened with “Ugly,” prompting the tears to fall from my eyes with no preamble or solicitation. Just a quiet and salty face waterfall. Nothing to see here.

Someone posted it on YouTube! Oh, please watch this.

The whole set was so beautiful and very “Storytellers”ish – even moreso than the last one which was where they played A Different Kind of Pain and 13 Ways to Bleed on Stage in their entirety. The best part though was that it was all different stories that Scooter told this time so it felt fresh and extra special. Scooter is so funny and interesting, and when he tells a story, I hang off of every word. I EVEN HEARD HENRY LAUGHING A FEW TIMES BEHIND ME! If someone can get Henry to take a time out from watching Instagram Reels, that’s pretty major.

There was one table in the front but over to the side full of people who had quickly gotten drunk and chatty, and Henry kept mumbling, “Shut up!” under his breath. Why would you come to this super intimate show and talk?? “Everyone enjoys concerts their own way” – OK, cool, but how are you enjoying it when you’re talking over the band and creating annoying background chatter for everyone else? Call me a Concert Karen if you want, but seriously. Go sit at the bar.

Sorry, this is a screenshot from the one lone video I took all night, but this is THE SIERRA SWAN.

Setlist: (There wasn’t one on Setlist.fm for the Pgh show but I’m confident the Philly setlist is the same)

1. Ugly
2. A Different Kind of Pain
3. End of the World
4. No One
5. Another Pill
6. Suffocate
7. Superstar
8. Bleed
9. Better Human
10. Delivering the Saint
11. The One that Got Away
12. You Got Away (Sierra’s song)
13. Welcome2MyWorld
14. Quiet Now (his story on this song’s background drew tears from the eyes of nearly everyone in that room – probably not Henry – and it of course made me think of Drew and how quiet the house is without her. I am so broken)
15. Trouble Is (Sierra’s song)
16. Strip Her Down
17. Check Please
18. Gone Away

After the show, we hung back at our table and chatted a bit, letting everyone clear out. I really enjoyed our company that night, so so so much! Especially Shawn’s anti-truffle rant which caught the attention of this lady who was there alone and seated at one of the empty seats at our table. So we started chatting with her in between sets and learned she is originally from Florida and moved here with her now ex-husband. She was so nice but I regrettably forget her name because I was drinking a wine flight and I am such a light weight.

I really wanted to say hi to Scooter, after years and years and years of getting so emotional that I would legit run out of venues after losing my courage. Yes, I have two super old pictures with him from 2001 but they are awful. With Jess’s encouragement and Shawn agreeing to accompany me, I decided to try for an updated photo.

Oh you guys. I am still a mess around this lyrical genius. The way he emotes such raw and visceral pain from his entire being just makes my heart race. Even when we first got to the venue and were standing in line to get our tickets scanned, Scooter walked over to the front of the line and my heart was beating so hard that it drowned out everything else in that room. “He needs to leave before we get up there or I’m not going to be able to do this!” I cried to Henry, imagining myself fumbling my phone when trying to show our tickets, dropping it on his foot, bursting into tears and running out of the City Winery.

Typical Erin moves.

Thank god Shawn and Dave took the lead with this one and made it super casual and normal while I was standing there blubbering on about the time Scooter gave me a Starburst in 2001 in Hershey.

“I still like Starbursts,” Scooter said in his cool and quiet way, and you know I have been holding that soundbyte inside the deepest pocket of my brain reserved for all the special shit. Like:

• my Pappap saying “doopah” instead of butt when warning me not to sit on the cold porch floor.
• G-Dragon saying, “I have something to tell you,” in Newark regarding THE BIGBANG REUNION.
• Baby Chooch saying, “You…motherFUCKER!” apropos of nothing.

I’m not saying this in a sexual / lusty kind of way at all, but Scooter had his hand on my lower back and adjusted it several times and I literally thought I was going to die just because he was touching me (NOT IN A STARSTRUCK WAY BUT IN A “THIS MAN’S MUSIC HAS GOTTEN ME THROUGH SOME SHIT AND NOW HIS  HAND IS ON MY BACK” KIND OF WAY I DUNNO I CAN’T EXPLAIN IT BUT SOMEDAY MY FRIEND ALYSON MIGHT READ THIS AND I KNOW SHE WILL GET IT).

“I know,” Henry said in a soothing manner when I cried, “AND I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE WHEN HIS HAND WAS ON MY BACK, HENRY!” on the way to the car afterward.

Scooter also liked Shawn’s moustache!

Yep, you know this signed poster has already been framed. Just gotta find a good spot for it!

Oh! Henry came back to the table with this special edition Cold wine bottle after going to the bathroom in between sets! However, when he was buying it he apparently struck up a convo with the opening back, Edisun, and after the show when we were waiting to see Scooter, one of the guys from Edisun walked by, PATTED HENRY’S SHOULDER AND SAID, “WHAT’S UP, BUD.”

Ew, the gloating smirk I got from Henry after that. Sickening!

LOL it’s OK. He bought me the signed version of the wine bottle so he earned that little moment in the spotlight, I guess. This is me being a grown-up. (Don’t worry, it won’t last long.)

What an absolute banger of a night that I will never forget.

OH! P.S.! The drunk lady that fell at the last Cold show at Craft House was there, and she was actually talking to Scooter right before us. She turned around and, in the true sense of the word, HOLLERED something to her husband, causing Shawn to recoil and say, “Oh my!”

Thankfully, she was sat at a table nowhere near ours. Yikes.

25 years ago last week (missed the exact anniversary, I’m a failure) I went to Canberra, Australia alone to make my dream of seeing the Cure come true. You can’t ever say I’m not a go-getter.

It’s kind of eerie/cool but there were numerous Cure “Easter eggs” around Romania while we were there, like that poster I kept seeinglike that poster I kept seeing, another poster for a concert next summer that they’re headlining with 21 Pilots, and hearing The Last Day of Summer at a bookstore in Bucharest and that is actually one of the songs on the album that the Cure was touring in support of when I saw them in 2000. Such strange and delightful kismet!

OH AND THIS TRANSYLVANIA TCHOTCHKE I HAD TO BUY BC IT LOOKS CURIOUSLY LIKE ROBERT SMITH:

Henry recently digitized my old 8mm tape from that trip and it was my first time rewatching this in probably 20 years. The cringe session was intense. I know I’m going to regret this but here’s the clip of the actual meeting. Ugh I hate myself so much. The way Robert side eyes me and says “we just spent 6 weeks there…” when some radio person tells him I came from America to see them.

Henry just kept saying, “you were just a kid, it’s ok” instead of what I wanted to hear which was, “No! You were great! Look how…not frumpy and awkward you’re being! You made a…great impression! So much…personality! Robert probably still remembers this moment fondly and didn’t even notice the glaze of anxiety on your chubby face.”

Instead, when I said, “Oh…I was going to put this on Instagram but didn’t remember it being this cringy” Henry goes, “yeah I was gonna say, when I was pulling this off the camera I thought, ‘oh she will never want anyone to see this.”

WOW OK SUPPORTIVE.

I still have never properly written about this experience, just little pieces. Maybe Someday.

(THAT’S A CURE SONG BTW.)

Also, here’s a recording of when I was on a radio station in Canberra trying to weasel my way in to meet the Cure lol. It worked!

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Well, considering it’s been three weeks now since I saw GD and I’m currently SOBBING while watching someone’s vlog from the LA shows – a married couple that are super VIPs from way back seeing him for the first time and feeling emotions that I can totally relate to and I’m sitting here with fucking goosebumps lol –  I just have to power through this or else it will be October and I’m still living in the weekend of August 22. Sigh.

Let’s just dive in because it’s now or never!

SETLIST (same for both nights)

1. POWER
2. HOME SWEET HOME
3. MichiGO
4. ONE OF A KIND
5. CRAYON
6. BONAMANA
7. Butterfly
8. I Love It
9. WHO YOU?
10. Today
11. Crooked
12. Heartbreaker
    (with WinG hologram intro)
13. Bullshit
    (with interpolations of ‘Not Like Us’ by Kendrick Lamar)
14. TAKE ME
15. TOO BAD
16. DRAMAENCORE
17. This Love
    (Maroon 5 cover)
18. 1 Year Station
19. IBELONGIIU
20. GYRO‐DROP
    (partial vocals, band and dancers introductions)
21. Untitled, 2014

I thought that after seeing this show only 24 hours before, that some of the magic and surprise would have worn off. But yo, I was so immersed from the moment the lights went out and the video for Too Bad began playing on the screens, audio blasting. My heart was racing! G-DRAGON IS THE MOTHERFUCKING GOAT. In the video I was watching from the YouTube couple, they pointed out that even when GD was being silly on stage at the LA show, he was still so fucking cool, because EVERYTHING GD DOES IS SO FUCKING COOL. HE IS A LEGIT TRENDSETTER FOR A REASON. Bro started wearing scarves over his hats and it turned into a trend in Asia, and then he later admitted that he was only doing that to hide his weight gain in his face, not to look cool!

I have been really thinking hard about this, especially after watching so many fan cams from this tour: people and by people I do mean BTS fans are trying to create this toxic narrative that GD’s comeback was a “flop,” that he’s “washed up,” that he’s “talentless.” Bro. All I have been seeing, outside of BTS INTERNET, is that there have been a ton of people who started stanning him this year BECAUSE OF HIS COMEBACK. New Kpop fans, people who don’t like Kpop at all (the girl next to me did not listen to other Kpop ONLY G-Dragon, although she does know Seventeen BECAUSE OF G-DRAGON!), and old Kpop fans alike. Bro has accumulated so many new fans this year alone! HE IS THE REAL DEAL. When I tell you this man could have peddled herbal tonics in a past life and became a millionaire in no time, I’m not kidding. His charisma is unmatched. He was simply born this way – this was not learned, he did not train to become this, HE ALREADY HAD THIS IN HIM. G-Dragon doesn’t need to aura farm, he IS the aura farm.

I AM FUCKING OBSESSED WITH HIM.

BONAMANA <3

I think I saw somewhere that this jacket is worth something like $15,000? $30,000?

Too Bad!

THIS SUIT! It was different than night one’s and I was obsessed with it.

I loved his Too Bad performance so much – the dancing was SO GOOD.

OK I have to include this video of the ment where he announces BIGBANG’s 20th anniversary because it has so much going on – him trying to explain the Ubermensch concept while getting interrupted by fanboys (one of them in particular went to all 5 US shows and GD recognized him and in LA said, “You? Again? Do we know each other? You came to all of the shows? Are you rich?” That guy is living the DREAM!!), getting flustered with mic stand after noticing Those LED Girls (he had a Jacobs & Co rep find them after this and gift them two of his daisy pendants worth over $1000!), impromptu Happy Birthday serenade – this ment was so chaotic and he totally lost control of the crowd because we all just wanted to shower him with love and finally he gave up and let us. I am so glad there is video of this because it makes my heart swell every time I watch it! Imagine being ONE PERSON and commanding an entire arena like this (and huge ass stadiums in other countries!).

But good Lord, I could listen to this man talk and watch his facial expressions all day long.

One of my favorite G-Dragon songs is from his latest album is Drama, co-written by DIANE WARREN. EXCUSE ME, WHAT? THE LEGEND HERSELF DIANE WARREN. Dang.

I want an Ubermensch robe so bad. If he had been selling this as merch, I’d have gladly thrown down and just as an FYI – I have never owned a robe in MY LIFE nor have I ever wanted one until now.

BIG shout out to his dancers and band! They’re incredible and bring so much to the stage.

And you can tell they genuinely love backing him too.

The final final final song was “Untitled 2014.” This song still gives me chills to this day. Everyone in the arena was either choked up & quietly swaying with their daisy bongs or singing along like it was church. There was so much positive and beautiful energy coursing through the Prudential Center, it was impossible not to feel SOMETHING, ANYTHING. I was silently crying, knowing that this was it – the last song, my last glimpse of Kwon Jiyong in person, back to real life. I can guarantee that I wasn’t alone in wanting this night to never end!

OK, I’m crying again so it’s time to turn this over to Henry for his…”thoughts” and “review”! Basically, for science, here’s why a 60-year-old white American man likes this amazing Korean rapper / singer / songwriter / fashion trendsetter / GOAT / legend:

“So where to begin? This was my second time seeing him, and it completely blew me out of the water, he was totally in the zone and giving it 110%. I honestly don’t know why I like him so much, maybe it’s the music or the person I went with (who makes me watch all his videos). But somehow this time hit different, and I loved every minute of both days. Now what? There is always next year to see him again in Big Bang and possibly a different country, just saying, no promises.” – Henry, 2025

(It took him literally 2 hours to write that.)

Saw this adorable dad and daughter on our way out and it made my eyes mist over. I fear that BIGBANG will be the only concert that could ever top this one in my heart and I am already so desperate to go. Please please please let this happen next year. There is not much else in this world to look forward to these days. Thank fucking god for music.

Can we take a moment to admire all of the freebies I accumulated from FAM and VIPs over the two nights in Newark?? I love it, and everyone who took time out to make such cute freebies. There is nothing like a Kpop concert. Also included is my VIP lanyard, the gifts provided by GD (the guitar picks – every city had it’s own color!), the Polaroids that I got free with my merch, and the two exclusive photo cards that came with the VIP package. I love stuff! I was practically acting like Scrooge McDuck and his money bags over my loot while Henry rolled his eyes.

When we came home the next day, I gave Chooch all the candy I collected even though he was lecturing me about how much money I spent on all of this. LET ME LIVE, KID!!! This is MOMMY’S TIME TO SHINE now.

We had to get to the arena earlier on Saturday because VIP line-up started at 4:30 and I did NOT want to risk anything. We ended up getting there around 3PM so I could also pass out the rest of the pins we made. We had over 100 for each day! Again, my social battery was quickly draining during this process but it was so rewarding because some people get REALLY HAPPY about freebies (other people make me take it back because their reactions are so borderline rude – like sorry for having the audacity to want to give you a cute  memento of GD’s concert??). I did chat with a few really nice people though, like a super spunky  (I have never used this word to describe anyone so I guess I was saving it for the perfect candidate) fan who showed me pictures on her phone of her in her Motte concert shirt from 2017 because I was wearing mine. Then she asked me if I wanted a tattoo and I thought she meant a real one and I was caught off guard like, we just met but OK I’ll go get a tattoo with you, but then she handed me a temporary GD tattoo and that made so much more sense lol.

A lot of people commented on Henry’s Motte clip that I made him wear on his hat and my matching tote that we got with our 2017 VIP packages. There was a group of older Asian women who seemed taken aback when I approached them with my freebies – there were a lot of older people at this concert because GD has been a Kpop legend for 20 years so he has fans of all of ages and some of these people don’t go to other Kpop concerts and it shows because they acted like I was trying to sell them something lol. There was one couple that politely put up the “no thank you” stop hand and skirted away from me lol. But anyway, once this particular group realized what was happening, they were squealing as they opened the baggies and pulled out the pins, and then one of them noticed my tote bag and cried, “Oh!!! You’re old fan! You go back to the old days!” and I was like, “Yep! That’s me, an old head!” and they were all fawning over me then – it was the most positive and sweet attention I have received in years and I was FEELING IT! I floated on that cloud for a good long while, what amazing people I met that day.

Henry did say at one point that I was basically a jump scare because I was standing right next to a tree and popping out at people. I didn’t even think about it at the time, but he’s not wrong!

We eventually got in the VIP line after I successfully handed out all of my pins and we received MORE birthday banners which made Henry grumble because he hates having to carry things at concerts lol.

I would say we stood in line for about an hour – they were definitely running behind. It was enough time to admire all of the outstanding outfits around us though! Some people went all out with cosplaying GD and I was very impressed. Especially the fans who made DIY versions of his iconic red rose jacket. The only downside is that it gave me too much time to notice all of the people in line wearing their Peaceminusone NIKEs which I have never been able to obtain since they sell out so fast!! Ugh, the FOMO was so real.

I would be remiss to not add that my idiotic ass kept putting off getting my driver’s license renewed before this (I went the next weekend, OK???) and the venue email that was sent to VIP ticket holders with instructions said that VALID ID was required when checking in, NO EXCEPTIONS. Of course I panicked and brought my passport just in case they slapped my expired (by one month!!) driver’s license out of my hand. AND THEN THEY DIDN’T EVEN CHECK ID. Just scanned our tickets and shuffled us off into the secret door that funnels you straight onto the floor of the arena. Staff was lined up and passing out our VIP bags which included the guitar pick, two exclusive photo cards of GD, and our VIP lanyard and badge. I was geeking out. I have only done VIP for a concert of this size one other time and that was also for GD in 2017! This process was way more streamlined and went off without a hitch (at least in our experience).

Walking across the floor to our seat in Section 8, Row 3. THEY WERE SO GOOD. After Stray Kids, I decided that I never want to be on the floor unless I’m barricade, honestly. Fuck the floor. We were still basically on the floor, so close to the extended stage, and had perfect view during the whole concert.

First of all, a nearly empty arena is fucking COLD. That paired with my nervous anticipation of seeing a pre-concert G-Dragon had me shivering in my seat. Which, by the way, was right next to a woman who flew in from Indiana and was also there for both nights! In the dim light of the Prudential Center, she reminded me a lot of my friend Jiyong (no, not G-Dragon, but my in real life friend Jiyong who was teaching me Korean when she lived in Pittsburgh and then gave us the greatest assist with our marriage!) because when I was just seeing her in my periphery, she had the same stature and her voice sounded so similar! It made my heart swell. We chatted a bit about our love for G-Dragon, how/when we got into him, etc. all while the staff and arena security were walking around shouting out the no cell phones / pictures / videos policy during soundcheck. The one dude was a middle-aged no-nonsense white man who was screaming at people to put their phones away now rather than later, if anyone gets caught with their phones out during soundcheck, they will be escorted out, etc. I have seen plenty of soundcheck videos from other artists’ concerts so I don’t know if this is a G-Dragon policy or what, but it was also like this in 2017 and we did see someone get taken out at that one. I quickly put my phone away because I sacrificed too much to miss this opportunity!

(And by that I mean I paid a lot of money lol.)

“I wonder where he worked before this,” my new friend said out loud.

“Prison,” I said solemnly, and we laughed. Henry was not a part of this conversation. He was basking in the joy of having a coveted aisle seat. It’s literally all he wants at every concert we go to.

OMG there was a lady who had a sit right next to the barricade that reminded me so much of both Barb Riley and Margie. I was dying. Especially when the show started later and she was fighting with a young girl who was, I believe, attempting to push her out of the way. I didn’t notice at first but my not-Jiyong friend pointed it out and then I couldn’t unsee it.

Meanwhile, soundcheck was running late and everyone was starting to squirm in their seats. Then, one of the G-Dragon cosplayers who I recognized from night 1 too, stood up in front of the extended stage and started BELTING out “Crayon.” It was so funny but also contagious and all of the VIPs started cheering and singing along. OBSESSED with this guy’s moxie. I don’t know if GD could hear this but right in the middle of it, his popped up on the stage in his chair, almost like, “OK imposter, sit down, Daddy’s here now” and immediately launched into Bonomana (one of my absolute faves from his new album and now thanks to soundcheck, I got to hear him sing it live three times in two days!!).

IT WAS EPIC TIMING.

EVERYONE WAS SCREAMING! I immediately started to cry, even having just seen him the night before, he was so much closer now and there are no words to explain how intimate soundcheck is. He was wearing a beautiful, loose gray suit, a beret-ish hat (I don’t know my hat names, OK?), and a face mask. Of course, some brave fan got a video!

OMG, Blog. I just can’t get over how much I adore him. He is so fascinating! I wish everyone could experience the aura he exudes at least one because it is so captivating. I will die on this hill but I think the fact that he has so many fan boys speaks volumes.

In addition to Bonamana and Take Me, he also did IBELONG11U. Worth every penny. I even looked at Henry with tears in my eyes and said, “Worth it. No regrets. Two nights was the best accident ever.” And that was before the actual concert even started!

After soundcheck, people made a beeline for either merch lines, bathroom, or food/bev. Henry of course needed to pee and then he wanted to get a beer, so we sat at a table outside of Section 8 – I forget what the lounge was – and people-watched since we had a good 90 minutes to kill.

Back at our seats, I made Henry do the “Instagram Girl Goes to a Concert” pose. He was like I AM NOT STANDING THIS so I let him sit in my seat for it, Jesus he’s really no fun about these things.

I FELT CUTE. Also, there’s Barb/Margie in the bottom left corner. She had such a great seat, I was jel.

Not Henry sitting next to me adjusting his camera settings on his phone so he could get the best shots of GD, lol.

OMG there was some intense selfie wars going on in front of us. The woman standing up to the right was originally taking a selfie of herself with the stage behind her, and the lady in the pink shirt was also trying to get a selfie so she TOLD THE OTHER LADY TO MOVE, and that lady – visibly appalled – made a big sarcastic gesture “GO RIGHT AHEAD” gesture with her arm after taking her seat. I was like, “Holy shit,  the audacity” and then later, that woman was having her partner take pictures of her so the pink lady GOT UP AND WAS LEANING AGAINST HIM, TAKING HER OWN SELFIES. Henry and I were so invested in this.

Also, the girl right in front of me with the silk scarf on her head a la G-Dragon Power-era and her friend were sooooo nice. We (I) chatted with them quite a bit before the show started, and then they gave me and not-Jiyong baggies of freebies to help ourselves to and then pass along. I was in love with everyone around us, legitimately. There was a group of guys directly behind us who were super chill, and a white guy that reminded me a little of Corey further down in our row who was rocking out with his light stick through the entire concert. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to be seated around and it really elevated the experience.

Around 8:15pm, the G-Dragon cosplayer got the crowd all riled up again with another boisterous sing-along (“Crayon/Crooked”) and I was so impressed that he had the balls to do this with a FILLED ARENA at this point. I mean, judging from the beer sloshing in his hand, he had a bit of liquid courage but still – it takes a special kind of person lol. My opinion on him changed later when I saw a video of him grabbing at GD’s arm during one of the times GD walked along the barricade and that’s just not OK with me.

Also in this video, you can see the NO PHONES, I SWEAR TO GOD JUST PUT IT AWAY RIGHT NOW LOOK THIS ISN’T MY RULE I’M JUST DOING MY JOB staff guy in the white shirt can be seen stomping by, and Barb/Margie is also in the background!

And just like soundcheck, the lights went out right after this and the intro began for night 2 and I was SO STOKED. Part 2 coming soon because I don’t want to ever be done recapping this! :(