Warning: This is going to be messy and disjointed because my brain refuses to cooperate – the emotions are still so raw!!

When I first saw G-Dragon in 2017, I never would have known at the time the heartache that would follow. I just assumed, “OK, he and the rest of BIGBANG will be going into the military. Then they’ll come out and go on tour and we’ll go see them.”

God, if only.

Instead, they were wracked with scandals (only one of which was actually true and deserved), one member has been blacklisted (byeee), another retired (we have hope though!), and then G-Dragon came out of the military and basically had been laying low since 2019. A few non-music appearances here and there. A few comeback rumors that never panned out. Then finally! Last year he made a surprise appearance ON STAGE at one of Taeyang’s solo concerts and then came out with his long-awaited comeback single last fall. It has been INSANELY FUN again since then!

I guess I didn’t realize how empty I truly have been feeling these last few years and maybe it seems weird that a singer means that much to me, but he symbolizes a time when I was at my lowest and discovering him and BIGBANG actually breathed new life into me. They made me feel excited to get out of bed every day and learn more about them, Korea, Kpop in general. G-Dragon especially. Almost my whole life it’s been Robert Smith and The Cure, but you guys…

You guys…

It’s G-Dragon. These two nights in Newark really opened me back up! The way I have been thinking about recapping these concerts every day and then instead find myself sitting here smiling into space and then going to YouTube to watch fan videos. I am so obsessed with this man. I told Henry that I was worried that it wouldn’t be as exciting as the first time we saw him and he just frowned at me, like “come on, now.” 2017 was amazing, but his Ubermensch tour blew that out of the water!

I’ll never forget the electricity in the arena when the video for Too Bad was playing on the screens and then suddenly the audio was greatly jacked up, the lights went out, everyone started fucking screaming their lungs out. The energy!!! Henry noted that the screaming wasn’t as annoying as other Kpop concerts because so many men were in the audience, creating more of a “roar” than the shrill shrieking you get with the younger groups!

Not my video but just you know, I was fucking SHAKING during this intro and then IMMEDIATELY went, “Ohhhhhhhhh….” and burst into tears when I finally saw him with my own eyeballs.

And even without Taeyang and Daesung, the energy during “Home Sweet Home” made it feel like the ground beneath us was going to shatter and the roof was going to pop off the Prudential Center. It was, in a word, motherfuckingepic.

My pictures and videos were better the next night when we were closer, but this one just makes me so happy – it was such a celebratory moment!

And then he had his first ment of the night and I can still hear him saying, “HelLO!” and actually acknowledging that he was in Newark and not New York! Most groups just default to New York but then there’s GD with the geographical accuracy <3

I could listen to him talk for days, you guys. He could have just sat on the stage and read the paper to us – OK, not the paper, that’s too depressing, how about an old issue of Sassy magazine lol – and I would have been like, “Did I pay $$$$ for this? Yep. Am I satisfied? You bet.” JUST BREATHING THE SAME AIR AS HIM, I don’t care how Tiger Beat delulu this makes me sound, I could not wipe the absolute AWE from my face no matter how hard I tried. My facial muscles were frozen in reverence. He is one of a kind, 100%. A living legend. No one will change my mind.

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This was around the time he was telling us that BIGBANG is planning on a comeback for their 20th anniversary next year and I have been all over Henry about going to Korea for this. He is 99.999999% sold on the idea, lol.

I’m going to post more videos in my Night 2 recap because that night was more special to me. Just – everything about Night 2 was magic and perfection. Yes, even being there with Henry didn’t hinder any of that, lol.

OMG he seemed so comfortable too, with the crowd and with switching off to 100% English. He was incredibly jokey too – there was one point in between songs when someone shrieked, “I SAW YOU AT THE AIRPORT!” He smirked and said, “So what?” and then, “Just kidding!” with the cutest fucking laugh. Ahhh, I was screaming!

The final song of the night was Untitled which is one of the prettiest songs he has and it brings back so many memories of 2017 – my first GD comeback experience! He sang that song during the 2017 off stage and was literal feet away from us – we were one row back from the barricade at that concert – and there was one part where he held his mic too close to a speaker and it squealed which made him recoil and flinch, and to this day my mind is convinced that that same electric squelch is going to happen every time I listen to that song lol.

Also, this happened during encore! She’s:

• lucky she’s OK
• lucky that she got GD’s attention!!!!1111111111111111111111111

(On the real though, this was apparently the venue’s fault from the information I’ve seen – the railing she was leaning against legit gave out. Thank god she was already so close to the ground!!)

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I can’t remember the last time I smiled SO BIG, cried SO MUCH, and screamed SO LOUD at a concert. I could barely talk on the way back to the car. Nor can I even remember leaving the venue and walking back to the car! I do vaguely remember being hungry but completely crashing out in the hotel room before any decision could be made re: food. It was midnight by then anyway and I felt like I had just come home from a fucking rave. And the next morning, I was TRASHED! My head hurt so bad from all the screaming and I had the most annoying scratchy voice for the first hour or two of the day, but you better fucking believe that I was ready to do it all over again!

Being at the Prudential Center with all of my people was so invigorating. Yes, I was nervous and awkward about passing out freebies and I don’t know why because it went so well and my bag was empty before I knew it and I got so many awesome freebies in return.

It’s already such a blur but I definitely would be remiss to not talk about how there was a food truck – Hangry Joe’s or something – parked alongside the arena and one of the employees was walking around the crowd with a tray of chicken samples. I left Henry for less than five minutes while I was passing out my pins and by the time I came back, he was scarfing down free chicken (they were giving out BIG CHICKEN STRIPS, yo) and had a blob of coagulating condiment resting on his shirt. I was so embarrassed!

In fact, I believe what I yelled was, “You’re so embarrassing!” while he looked down and mumbled, “Aw shit,” swiping at the slop with a finger and leaving behind a dark oily spot on his already UGLY shirt (it was some bland baby poop color since he is resistant to any hue even remotely pleasing to the eye).

SO.

EMBARRASSING.

These banners were the product of a local fan project and we ended up accumulating so many of them over two days. Sometimes we go to Kpop concerts and get there too late, so I miss out on the banners but this time we were actively trying to avoid them because there were so many people passing them out!

The doors eventually opened sometime after 6PM and I was about to FLOAT OUT OF MY BODY. Once we were past security and had our tickets scanned, it started to really sink in that we were about to see KWON JIYONG. The actual King of Kpop. Your idols’ idol.

The line for this photo op was nearly as long as the merch lines, which were the longest merch lines I have ever seen at any concert. We didn’t even attempt that, knowing that we would be there the next day too and could get to the merch right after soundcheck and before the doors opened to the general public, but we ultimately decided on just coming down to the Prudential Center the next morning for early merch, which was the right call. I didn’t want to be stressed out during sound check, thinking about running to get into the merch line!

For night 1, we were in section 7, row 6. The next night, our seats were so much closer but this was still GOOD. I’ve been to the Prudential Center a bunch of times (two KCONs, BTS, Stray Kids, NCT127) but have never sat in the lower section so this was a nice switch-up!

People watching before a concert starts is one of my favorite parts of the night. I was obsessed with the three girls in the row in front of us. From what I had gathered, they had all come solo but befriended each other during soundcheck, so they were chatting away before the concert started and I was desperate to insert myself but never did. I LONG for concert friends. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful that Henry also likes Kpop and comes with me to every concert but sheesh, to be with a group of girls would be the best. I’m just not good at small talk anymore so anytime I *am* sitting alone at one of these concerts because Henry has a nosebleed seat, I just can never sustain a conversation long enough to get to the “let’s be friends!” portion (except for Pamela who sat next to me at NCT Dream in 2022! We became IG friends but her IG is just for selling/trading photocards and we have no interaction). But these girls were adding each other on socials and squealing over each others’ Kpop concert experiences, sigh. The one girl had a British accent and we made eye contact a few times and exchanged smiles and I was ready to fling myself at her. I’m so lonely, lol.

I love that GD had guitar picks made for each stop of his tour! Everyone got one as soon as tickets were scanned and I am already wearing mine as a pendant, in case you were wondering.

Henry’s stain can be seen here. I sent this to some friends who were like “he looks thrilled.” :( Look, I can’t help it that he always looks like this. Maybe it’s the “being around me” part of these things that makes him look miserable. Because he likes G-Dragon,  I know that for a fact. (OMG a man liking Korean music, HOW WEIRD.)

I needed a beer so bad before this started because MY NERVES. This was my check-in picture of Untappd but you can see the British girl in the background who I realized later reminded me of Grow With Jo whose YouTube workouts I love, so it’s no wonder I gravitated toward her!

OMG. A smile. Sort of.

I had two guys sitting on the other side of me – they were both there alone and it was the first time in history that I was actually sandwiched by men at a Kpop concert. G-Dragon is just different though. I would say it was almost an even split between men and women – and not just boyfriends and husbands being dragged along by their partners. G-Dragon has FAN BOYS. And they are actually more rabid than the girls! There were so many times throughout the night when you’d hear masculine, guttural roars of “I LOVE YOU!!!!!!” from the guys and it would make GD crack up every time. He is just truly on another level.

I think I’m going to end this here and then recap the concert portion separately because you know me and how I love to drag shit out! But I will just end by saying that I legit felt like puking and my legs were shaking uncontrollably while waiting for the lights to go off! KWON JIYONG!!!!!!

On one hand, I am so excited to recap my G-Dragon experience, but the other hand always holds the refusal to acknowledge that it’s over. This is the worst PCD I’ve experienced in quite some time – and I am pretty seasoned at this feeling! This one just really hits different. He’s just some Korean guy to my friends but to me, he is the guy who pulled me out of a crippling – and serious – depression in 2016 and added joy and excitement back into my life. I don’t ever want to be that person again and I found myself toeing that line again through 2024 and a lot of this year too. Last summer around this time, I am not afraid to admit that I was suicidal. There was a break down that happened in Chicago last August that actually gives me chills when I replay it in my head because I was so close to just letting go.   But I am going to say this right now – after last weekend, I feel alive again. So, make fun of me for liking this stuff all you want, at the end of the day it’s giving me joy when almost nothing else can. When you don’t have a good support system, turning to music is like a default.

I just don’t understand why people think it’s OK to make another person feel like shit for liking something they don’t understand. I didn’t intend for this to start out negatively but I am still stewing over the fact that one of my work friends texted me a picture of the group chat THAT I AM NOT EVEN PART OF ANYMORE BECAUSE IT WAS ADDING SO MUCH TOXICITY TO MY DAY THAT I REMOVED MYSELF and btw it wasn’t even my group anyway so I did not even belong there. Anyway, in the chat I guess they were bitching about an atty from Newark who was causing grief among the group and someone mentioned that I was actually en route to Newark to see G-Dragon so someone else was like “Maybe Henry can take care of this guy for us” or something and someone (wow, I wonder who) said, “He’d probably rather be doing that anyway” or something equally stupid and it’s just not funny anymore. Like I am “dragging” Henry to these things. Like Henry doesn’t have his own opinion. Like Henry doesn’t also genuinely like G-Dragon. WHY WOULD HENRY HAVE GONE TO KOREA WITH ME 3X. WHY WOULD HE HAVE AGREED TO GET MARRIED IN KOREA. WHY WOULD HE HAVE BEEN “IT’S OK” AFTER I SPENT $$$$ ON THESE TWO CONCERTS (you have no idea). It’s just actually rude and inconsiderate to insinuate that I am THAT controlling of Henry. Blog, do you remember when I used to go to concerts alone? IT WAS BECAUSE HENRY DIDN’T LIKE THE BANDS I WAS GOING TO SEE. Yes, occasionally he took one for the team and still went with me, but he was very open about not enjoying it.

And there have been several Kpop concerts where Henry sits in the nosebleeds because he wants to be there but we can’t really afford to both get good tickets so we sit separately. WHY WOULD HE BOTHER STILL GOING IF WE WEREN’T EVEN GOING TO SIT TOGETHER UNLESS HE GENUINELY LIKED THE GROUP?

Men can like Kpop. It doesn’t have to be a fucking joke and I’m so tired of the poor Henry comments. It’s rude to him too because it’s making it sound like he doesn’t have his own free will!? Like this can’t be something that we have bonded over?? He sends me Seventeen and G-Dragon Insta reels all day long!

Sorry-not-sorry to be ranting but that truly set me off that day and I was in a foul mood pretty much until it was time to leave the hotel and go to the Prudential Center. It didn’t help that I was also panicking aver what to eat because I didn’t want to be in pain during the concert and we struck out with the vegan place Henry found (they left us sitting at the table long enough for me to have ordering anxiety so we left) and then we went for a walk in a really crappy cemetery where I ranted more about how I’m sick of people acting like Korean (or Asian in general) things are “lesser than” because OMG no English, and then we ended up finding a nice little smoothie joint called Protein Corner where I got a delicious passion fruit smoothie bowl and Henry got a Fruity Pebbles protein shake – all made by a husband/wife team while their little kid popped in and out. It was a true family affair, and it was the perfect pre-concert  meal because it tided me over without giving me a stomach ache.

Anyway. Now that I have all of that out my system. Trust me – everything else is much more positive from here on out! Just, you know, if it’s not hurting anyone else, LET PEOPLE LIKE WHAT THEY LIKE. God, I crave these concerts so I can surround myself with people who aren’t judging me!

Here are some obligatory pre-concert hotel pictures. I was so excited to dust off my bang bong (a/k/a Bigbang lightstick)!

All of my accessories! Two mini-Daisy bongs (one is standard and the other is the mint-version that was sold through the fan club last spring – I had to set my alarm for 4AM to buy it lol), my GD photocards and keychains, and my PEACEMINUSONE red clip that was a gift for the VIPs at his 2017 concert. The only other time I ever splurged and bought VIP to get soundcheck! Anyway, by the end of the two days, I had accumulated so many freebies that my purse is an entanglement of dangling beads now lol.

I bought this scarf forever ago from someone on Etsy – it has Bigbang and G-Dragon lyrics on it and I knew immediately that I needed to use it to fancy up my daisy bong.

My big bag of freebies! I had over 100 to pass out both Friday and Saturday. This tote bag was also part of the VIP gift from the 2017 concert and it felt so apropos to use it as a freebie holder.

My Korean Vans!

You have no idea how fucking excited (and sick!!!) I was on the way to the Prudential Center! I just kept moaning, “OMG OMG OMG OMG” like I was on my way to have a baby.

We’re on our way home from Long Island after seeing Enhypen’s Walk the Line concert last night. It was FANTASTIC.

Now, I’m not really that much of an ENGENE (that’s their fan name in case you care) but I do know all of their members and 90% of the songs. In fact there was only one song they performed last night that I wasn’t sure if I had heard before. But I sat out last summer’s concert and had big regertz after that. Mostly because when they came back with their song “XO,” I was fully obsessed.

So when they announced this current tour, I bought 2 tickets in the 200s section.

The drive was long and uneventful. We were able to check into our hotel in Linden, NJ on the way so that was nice, but we didn’t hang around very long – long enough to put on the latest Jake Webber video which I sent of picture of to Chooch and he said he was glad he wasn’t there lol:

It was only around 4pm but we left immediately to start the drive to Long Island because GPS reported lots of accidents + rush hour. And we wanted to eat somewhere before the concert too.

The drive was chaotic. I absolutely could not do this myself, and I am secure enough in my GIRL POWER attitude to admit that this is a big reason why I am glad to have a man/driver at my beck and call.

We went to this vegan place called Rockin’ Roots. It was VERY small and two of the four tiny tables were taken.

The whole reason I wanted to go here was because they have vegan sushi but when we got there, the chalkboard menu had everything erased under the SUSHI heading and their printed menu doesn’t mention it at all so that was my sign that they didn’t have any for that I guess. I got the daily special – the Cuban – instead. It was really good but I only ordered a half and was still so hungry after. Not to mention that the lady at the table next to us HAD SUSHI. AND SHE DIDNT EVEN FINISH IT. I figured she must have gotten the last of it and I was pissed.

Also, Henry bumped the table SO HARD that my can of Olipop tumbled over and this was literally a second after I had decided to wait to pop the top. That could have been such a disaster because we were like 90 minutes away from our hotel at that point and I’d have had to go to the concert in Cherry Pop stained shorts. It didn’t happen but I was still so mad at him for being an oaf.

THEN SOME GUY IN AND THE DUDE WORKING BEHIND THE COUNTER TOLD HIM HE COULD MAKE HIM A LOBSTER ROLL!!!!!

I was soooo mad.

Henry was like, “I’ll go up and order one to go!” But at that point I was fully committed to pouting and ruining the day at least for the next hour or so, so I said, “NO JUST FORGET IT!!!”

Then I proceeded to whine incessantly about still being hungry because Leo problems. We ended up stopping at a crappy bakery and got a really crappy cookie. I couldn’t even finish it out of principle and the stubborn need to stay in my diva character.

I was still being a bitch when we arrived at UBS Arena but then I started getting freebies so this pulled me back down to earth. I love getting freebies at kpop concerts!!!

Then after we got in a really long line, some UBS employee came over and was yelling, “Are there any AmEx cardholders here??” And I yelled, “Ooooh!!! Me!!!!” So he gave a handful of us instructions on where to locate the ELITE AmEx entry lol. The line over there was much shorter after all the non-cardholders were weeded out but I’m not sure how much time it actually saved us once doors opened.

While standing there, I got a bracelet and a keychain after I heard the rustling of cellophane behind me – I turned around to see an older lady and her little kid handing them out and I said, “Oooh! Can I have one too?” Being an older fan, you have to speak up for freebies or else most of these people will assume you’re too old to care but yo, I will always be young at heart enough to want to wear friendship bracelets with idols’ names on them. I even got sunnies with “EN” beads glued to it and a rubber duck with the concert date and location written on the bottom! I love stuff like this. Especially SINCE THE CONCERT TSHIRTS WERE ALL SOLD OUT, dafuq???!!! I ended up having to buy a dupe on Etsy today.

My Enhypen glasses lol. I got them from one of the girls with the girl wrapped in the flag in line in front of us, in case you were dying to know. There was a young teen girl also in line in front of us and she kept scrutinizing me, I felt like. She was looking at all my kpop accoutrement dangling from my purse and I really like she was judging me and trying to determine if I was a legit fan.

Answer: I’m a certified and legitimate multi-stan. You’re safe.

Mister Softee sighting!!!

We were in section 208, the middle of row 1. Henry was happy because this meant he could stay seated through the whole thing while enjoying an unobstructed view. I was just happy to be comfortable and take it all in since it was my first experience with ENGENES. They might possibly be the loudest/screechiest fans I have encountered yet. If I close my eyes, I can still hear what sounds like horny seagulls ricocheting in my ears. It was cracking me up because the screaming was at full capacity JUST WHEN ENHYPEN MVs WERE PLAYING before the show started. I was like, “Dang if they’re expending this much energy just on music videos they’ve seen a million times, how will they have anything left for the actual concert?!”

Oh not to worry – they had A LOT left in the tank, lol. I appreciated their unwavering moxie, for sure! I could have done without the teenager behind me legit BELLOWING, “NI-KI!!!” at random intervals. Like girlfriend, he isn’t going to look at you up here. But I get it.

OK I gotta say – I was RULL into this concert. I went in as a casual stan and came out having an existential crisis over who my bias is (it was Jungwon and Sunoo going into this but HEESEUNG GOOD LORD, MY GUY) and then Henry and I spent the car ride home today dissecting everything, putting on our favorite songs for relistens, evaluating their stage presence, etc. I can confidently say that I have NO REGERTZ – NONE after this experience. They held my interest from start to finish.

Sunoo though! He was so adorable all night. Easy to see why fans call him the Happy Virus.

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I super-loved the people around us in our row. There was an older woman to my right, and then Henry had an older couple next to him. Loved that for him. There were two empty seats next to the lady next to me, and around 8:40, these two girls (I really think it was a mom and daughter but it was hard to tell) came running in, plopped down into the seats and immediately TOOK UP SO MUCH SPACE. I was like, “Yo, how do you people lack THAT much noonchi?? LOOK AROUND, GIRLFRIENDS – you’re encroaching upon the personal space of others!” Now, they weren’t directly affecting me that much, I could only see them in my periphery, but I felt so bad for the lady next to me. She was having a great night and these two numb-nuts came, started filming each other lipsynching, USING THE FLASHLIGHT ON THEIR PHONES, and turning the night into a legit photoshoot with their selfie sticks. I get wanting to capture memories, etc and it’s not like I don’t also film snips of songs, but they were being SO PERFORMATIVE. One of them clearly had to be a TikTokker, that’s all I can figure. She was also dressed like the daughter of a corrupt CEO in a K-drama in a weird fitted suit dress. Looked like this:

They were literally the ONLY negative parts of the whole night. Even after the show, they stood there and blocked our row from leaving because they were back to doing another photoshoot until Henry elbowed past them and muttered a gruff, “EXCUSE ME.” I mean, there were like 8 of us trying to get the fuck out of there.

Like I have said before, people enjoy concerts their own way but this was just so incredibly obnoxious. Like, turn your fucking flash off!!!

Anyway!! The highlight for me was when they performed Bite Me, No Doubt, Moonstruck, Pass the Mic (I LOVE this song after seeing them perform it live!) but MOSTLY I was there for XO. I love that fucking song SO MUCH. It really helped distract me when I was mourning last year.

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Overall, I would say that it was well worth the ticket price and excruciating pain of having to get back in the car again after just spending a week driving around Missouri and Iowa (that was poor planning on my part – I already had these tickets on lock before I started planning my birthday trip and didn’t even consider the fact that this was literally DAYS after we returned from that long-haul road trip, oops). It made me appreciate them even more after seeing them in person. I will say that Seventeen and NCT127/NCT Dream really have us spoiled when it comes to the in-between videos (VCRs if you’re a kpop stan), and DEFINITEY onstage banter & encores. It comes off so effortlessly with those groups, and especially with Seventeen – the encores are untouchable, unlike any other concert I’ve ever experienced. So it’s a high bar! But Enhypen, for being a relatively “new” group (only just debuting in 2020), already have such a strong collection of songs and their personalities come through HARD on stage. I’m so excited to see where they go and will happily stan them even harder now!

THIS JUST IN: Henry said out of nowhere that he likes their song “Loose.” I put it on for him and now he’s doing weird car-dancing to it with his arms and it’s making me uncomfy.

ETA: it’s been three days and I had to come back here and say that for just being a “casual” fan, I have not been able to stop thinking about this concert and have spent all weekend bingeing Enhypen content on YouTube. I’m officially an ENGENE and for confident in my bias choice of Jungwon.

Also! I failed to mention that before the show, we stopped at one of the arena bars and the middle-aged woman bartender asked Henry if he was the same guy who was there for the show the night before as well (Enhypen performed two nights at UBS and we were night 2).

“He looked just like you! He was carrying a bag of candy.”

“I wish he was carrying a bag of candy,” I mumbled, fixing my Firestarter eyes upon Henry’s dumb face.

“I just thought it was so cute that he was here with his daughters,” she gushed, and I was quick to inform this broad that Henry was here because he likes Kpop and not because he was a chaperone.

“We like this stuff so much that we got married in Korea,” I said, never letting an opportunity to brag about this pass me by. Hey, I waited 23 years to get married, let me fucking live.

She was like, “Oh wow,” and didn’t really have the same “That’s cool!” reaction that most people do? So, after we walked away, I was like, “I mean, she didn’t think I was your daughter, did she??”

So, that was fun.

Kurt Travis time!

On the way there, I had made some outlandish statement about how I’d be fine “just sitting at the bar” during this show since I’m so far-removed from this scene now, etc. But then as Kurt and his band (Zac Garron was there as his guitarist!! Love him) were about to start, I said, “Byeeee!” to Henry and ran out to the floor, getting a cozy spot at the side of the stage. It’s a pull, you guys. Like magnets. I can’t fight it.

Dude, what can I say that I haven’t already said a thousand times over the years about Kurt Travis? This show really brought me back, man. He is so incredible! He could go on a “Kurt Travis Sings the Alphabet Song” tour and I would be waiting for the presale.

We had a good 30 minutes to wait before it was Anthony Green time so we people-watched and I guess chatted, what do Henry and I even chat about. He wasn’t even sitting next to me at our table, but catty-corner!

“Do you think Anthony’s going to be chaotic?” I asked Henry, trying to make CONVERSATION.

Henry just gave me the “now THAT’S a stupid question” smirk in response.

Then it was Anthony Green time! Dang, I am so so so far-removed from this scene but it still felt like no time had passed since I last saw him. I think it’s been quite a while since I last saw Circa Survive, but I’ve seen him with Saosin, LS Dunes, the Sounds of Animals Fighting, and solo myriad times in the last decade at least. I’m fairly positive that every time we’ve gone to Riot Fest, he’s been there in some capacity. (The last time we went in 2023, LS Dunes and Thursday were both there!)

I know I’ve written about it a million times on here, but Circa Survive SPECIFICALLY was such a big part of my life. Juturna got me through my pregnancy to the point where I wouldn’t be surprised if Chooch was partially triggered by the opening notes of any song on that album.

And the first time we saw Circa was the summer of 2005 at the Grog Shop in Cleveland, which was my first time there, actually! And I patiently stood outside that night with a bunch of fanboys, literally the only girl  there, waiting for my chance to tell Anthony how much he means to me and could he please sign my CD. I was wearing my mom’s old Jacki Sorenson aerobics shirt from 1984 – that is the ONE THING that is seared into my mind.

That, and the guy I was standing with telling me that Anthony literally stopped him from killing himself. He had told the guy to reach out to him if he needed to, and he took him up on that and Anthony talked him down. I will never ever forget that. Anthony has always been a genuine person, through all of his own demons and struggles he has always cared about the people who love his music and that comes across so strong at all of his shows. No matter which band he’s with.

So, hearing him sing his solo work on top of some Saosin and Circa that night was so cathartic. It definitely put me in a weird headspace, but overall, it was healing. A merging of my past and present, in a way – a reminder that I can still hold on to pieces, the healthy parts, of my old self without it stunting my personal growth. Does that make sense? Because it made me realize how far I’ve come since those old days of seeing Circa at the Grog Shop, Warped Tour, Mr. Smalls — still loving music with my whole stupid heart but also being so much more stable now. And it’s nice to be able to go into it without feeling SICK TO MY STOMACH like I would get back then, that hyper-nausea of preparing to see a band that made me feel like I had just cut my wrists because I loved them on such a psycho-emotional level. Now, I can just chill out with Henry and enjoy it for what it is, feeling the feelings without it crippling me.

I don’t know what started this exploration of my past (oh yeah, therapy lol) but it feels like it’s doing good things for me.

Then this happened and FML honestly lol:

IT’S A SURPRISE YOU HAVEN’T CAUGHT ON YET IT’S NOTHING PERSONAL YOU’RE AN EMBARRASSMENT.

Ugh, I used to cry and sing that part out loud while walking in the cemetery in 2005.

We lingered a bit after the show because I was hemming and hawing about getting Kurt to sign  the vinyl I bought, and also because we were 99.9% percent certain that one of our Sugar Spell Scoops friends was in attendance and we wanted to say hello to him.

Yo, why am I such a baby when faced when speaking to bands?? Literally Kurt was standing there totally unbothered and I was still so weird about asking him for a minute of his time?? I walked up  to him, holding the vinyl against my chest like a 1950s school girl clutching onto her poety notebook with dear life, and asked, “Hi, will you sign this?” in SUCH A FAKE BABY VOICE WHAT IS MY ISSUE.

He was happy to do so and while that was happening, I said, “I saw you in Pittsburgh 10 years ago exactly playing a house show at some kid’s house. You thought you were the oldest person there, but nope! It was me.”

I feel like HE REALLY LOOKED AT ME at this point, maybe trying to remember, and whether he did or not, who cares because he said, “Damn, if that was 10 years ago, then I’m even OLDER now! And look at us both, we’re still out here!”

I loved that sentiment because, yeah really! Look at us! In our mid-40s and out late on a Tuesday night for the sake of amazing music.

Kurt then gave me an abbreviated version of what he’s been up to personally, including buying a house in N.California with his girlfriend and dog. “It has 4 acres!” he said, and I was genuinely so happy for him, for getting himself to a good, safe and happy place. For still making music.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop making music,” he said after I told him I’m so glad that he’s still out there doing his thing. It was just a really good and super real moment. I already love his music so much, but this really added a special sheen to that.

We ended the night by chatting with our Sugar Spell friend (Mychael – I hate myself if that is spelled wrong) at the bar about the future of Pittsburgh vegan ice cream (please come back soon Sugar Spell!) and I was laughing because we all recognized each other earlier in the night but, seeing each other out of context of an ice cream shop and out in the wild really threw us all off. He said he had texted Amanda at one point like, “I really think it’s them!”

Anyway, he was at the bar with Zac Garron! I guess they are friends! I didn’t want to be a creep and ask, lol.

I didn’t talk to Zac because he was mid-convo with another couple but what a small world.

Yeah, so that was a super action-packed night! I felt like my social battery was crazy-depleted as we walked through the parking lot but it was so worth it, even getting home way past my bedtime and being embarrassingly hung over the next day – AND I HAD A VIDEO CALL. Oh well.

_____________________

On the way home, I was musing about the night. “I can’t believe I’m at the age where musicians I have loved for years are now talking to me about how much acreage they have.”

Sigh.

OK OK OK this was such a fantastic night and probably I’m blowing this up in my head but I feel like so much happened that night that I am preemptively tired just thinking about recapping it so I’m splitting it up into two parts. Because it’s my blog, and that’s just what we’re going to do, OK.

When Henry told me a few mths ago that this show was happening, I wavered on getting tickets for some reason – complacency, laziness, etc. But then I got into Kurt Travis SO HARD again recently and I was like, “OK sold. Lessgo.”

I was so stoked all day at work about this and my pal Lyda from our Seattle office let me go off on Teams about my history with all three singers – Anthony Green, Kurt Travis, and Geoff Rickly. It was so much fun sharing music with her while also getting to retell some of my favorite stories, like the time I dragged Janna, who could give a shit about the bands I like lol, to some frat kids’ basement in Oakland for a Kurt Travis house show 10 years ago!

Anyway, the show as at Jergel’s in Warrendale, and at first I was annoyed that it was a bit of a drive outside of Pittsburgh when I should have just been grateful that this didn’t require us to leave the state as EVERY KPOP CONCERT does.

This is what I was wearing. Ignore my old-ass fugly face.

Idiot Henry.

We arrived a good hour or so before the show started so we had plenty of time to grab a table, get some drinks, and order food. I had a really good wheat beer from Troegs and Henry had who cares. Our food was mid, but our server was an actual delight – so attentive and friendly without being overhearing and her smile never seemed fake – EVEN AROUND HENRY. It was just good vibes.

Meanwhile, Henry had checked out all of the merch booths on his way to the bathroom and reported that not only was Geoff Rickly’s book available at his merch table—it’s been on my TBR list for a few years—but Geoff himself was up there selling his merch.

“Go talk to him,” Henry urged.

“And say what?” I sighed. “‘Your sweat got on me when I saw you play at Smiling Moose with United Nations and it was one of the greatest concert moments of my life’?” And then, “DO YOU REMEMBER THAT??”

“Yes, Erin,” Henry said. “How could I forget.”

Then I joked that I could ask him if he’s still friends with Robert Smith (Henry rolled his eyes) because FUN FACT/STORY TIME:

The first time I saw Geoff’s band Thursday was in 2004 at Coachella. Yes, back when Coachella was only moderately despicable and schmoozy. Influencers didn’t exist yet, after all. I really liked Thursday a lot back then so it was a bonus that they were going to be there, as we were there FIRST AND FOREMOST to see The Cure.

Henry was much less open-minded about 99% of the bands I enjoyed back in the 2000s and I remember he was very “……….” about Thursday so he does not remember this AT ALL but it was like 113 degrees that weekend in the desert if I remember correctly, and Geoff ended up passing out on stage. I was so scared and screamed when it happened! Clearly he ended up being OK but that always stands out in my mind.

Anyway, they were playing on the same stage that The Cure would be headlining on later on that weekend.

That summer, The Cure put together something called the Curiosa festival and toured around the US with it. Thursday was one of the bands they brought with them and when we went to the Cleveland stop, I’ll never forget Robert Smith telling the crowd that he loved Thursday so much when he saw them at Coachella and had become friends with Geoff, and personally invited them onto the Curiosa festival.

It was something that really stuck with me, all these years later. It was such a heartwarming moment because at the time, Thursday was still an up-and-coming band and to be taken under the wing by the actual Robert Smith? What a dream!

Anyway! Geoff went on first that night. Just him and his guitar.

He told us so many great stories, starting with that when Anthony told him about this tour, he thought Anthony meant that this was just a solo singer thing, so he was kind of surprised when he showed up alone and saw that Kurt and Anthony brought their bands with them. Just his deliver made this so funny YOU HAD TO BE THERE OK.

More Geoff anecdotes:

• He said when he was asked if he wanted to go on tour with “the singer from Dance Gavin Dance,” he hesitated and asked, “That depends….which one?” and everyone in the crowd laughed so hard. IYKYK! And when he found out that it was Kurt, he said, “Fuck yeah, best one!”
• Geoff said that while he is now clean, he used to NOT be and told us about how one time years ago when he was on tour with Anthony Green, he was so drunk at the airport that he couldn’t scan his boarding pass so the staff at the gate said that they wouldn’t be able to allow him on the flight, so Anthony stepped in and said, “It’s ok. I’m his dad.” And they let him on the plane. This even made Henry laugh – Anthony and Geoff are around the same age. WHY was this so funny to me?? I was thinking about it the next morning and laughing all over again!

Also, Geoff not only resembles Wendy’s husband (mostly just from afar because I have bad eyes) but their laughs sound nearly identical!

His set was phenomenal and already I was patting myself on the back for not skipping this show just because it was on a school night.

While Kurt’s band was setting up, I went over to buy Geoff’s book “Someone Who Isn’t Me.” While I was standing in line, I was watching the people before me showing him their Thursday tattoos and otherwise proving the longevity of their fandom by having him sign old concert tickets and setlists. I’ve always just been a more casual fan (although I was PISSED at the last Riot Fest we attended in 2023 because the gates didn’t open until late due to rain so as we were waiting to get in, Thursday started their set and we had to be content with just hearing it from a Chicago sidewalk, le sigh) so I wasn’t sure what, if anything, I was going to say when it was my turn.

I started by shyly asking if he had any books left and then after he retrieved a stack from a bag, I proceeded to ask—still in my shy voice—if he would sign it for me.

As he was signing, I said, COMPLETELY OFF THE CUFF I WAS SO PROUD OF MYSELF FOR NOT LETTING MY SOCIAL IDIOCY TAMPER WITH MY WORDS, “I love your music, but I could listen to you talk all day. Your stories are so great.”

“Thanks!” he said. “Then hopefully you’ll like the book, too.”

And then something dumb came over me, and I stage-whispered (CHOOCH HATES WHEN I DO THIS BECAUSE I HOLD MY HAND UP TO THE SIDE OF THE MOUTH AND EVERYTHING FOR THE FULL EFFECT), “Can I ask you something weird?”

Geoff, still signing my book, glanced up. “Sure!” he said, doing a great job not letting hesitancy show in his voice.

“Are you and Robert Smith still friends?!?!?” I blurted out in such a dork-alert manner that even my shadow was trying to disassociate itself from me.

He definitely seemed a little caught off guard by this question, I don’t know what he was expecting, lol. But he said, “I mean, we exchange little notes here and there.”

I then felt compelled to explain why I was asking, briefly mentioning the Coachella / Curiosa 2004 thing and maybe my hyper-awareness was making me blow this out of proportion, but he did seem to relax after learning why I was asking and TOLD ME A STORY ABOUT THE CURIOSA TOUR!

“I don’t know if you remember this, but the NY Times wrote a review about Curiosa at the time,” he started. He said that his mom had come to one of the shows and met Robert. “She was very goth then, looked very goth, too,” Geoff said. So when the NY Times was looking for a picture of Robert to use, they somehow found a picture that Robert had taken with Geoff’s mom and wrote, “Robert Smith and his wife” in the caption!

Geoff said he was like OMG and apologized to Robert who said, and here Geoff did an impeccable impersonation of Robert’s accent, “I should be so lucky, your mother is a lovely lady!”

LOVED THAT STORY SO MUCH!!!

By the time I returned to our table, I had been gone for quite a while and Henry was like *eyeball emoji*

“I was chatting with Geoff,” I shrugged in a douchey “no big deal” manner. “I asked him if he was still friends with Robert!” I squealed.

“Omg,” Henry mumbled.

This was just the first part of the evening! So memorable and heartwarming, revisiting these old days with Henry. (Who is way more accepting of all of the music, new and old FYI. I wore him down, guys.)

So many good comebacks have been happening lately! LIKE NCT DREAM, JESUS CHRIST. I’m going to a non-Kpop concert tonight after work but here are some k-goodies I have been loving lately!

Jesus, Wonho:

My Czennie heart is so full right now – 2 new MVs from the Dreamies plus an album! My favorite from it is actually this song, but there was no official video for it so let’s watch this one together instead.

This video makes me wish I had friends to frolic around with in the summer lol:

My fave Kang Daniel <3:

ONEW! He also dropped another new one today actually but this one fits the summer vibe more:

And last but not least, is it even summer without a new Hyolyn song?? No, the answer is no. She makes me want to drop everything and go to the beach and I am not even remotely close to being a beach person.

OK I’m out.

I’m going to try and zoom through this recap because as usual – it was a vibe, hard to describe, amazing, awesome, beautiful, etc. I have no complaints.

This was my first time going to a concert of this magnitude, as a stand-alone and not in a Coachella / big music festival setting. So, it was very overstimulating! For this reason, it being a first, I wanted to get seats on the floor. Having already seen SKZ and not being a huge stan, I wasn’t willing to Big Splurge on this so I got us reasonably-priced seats in section D:

The stage was still super far away but it was fine. This place was HUGE.

One thing I will note about Stray Kids is that there were men in attendance than any other Kpop show I’ve attended. The crowd in general was very diverse but that’s generally the case with most Kpop shows. You get people of all walks of life, just not many men!

The show was delayed by about 10 or 15 minutes, and the intro might have been the longest intro of any Kpop group I have seen thus far. It was super dramatic, and I was like OK PLEASE COME OUT NOW! I swear to god though, Kpop concert intros never fail to excite me.

This guy was a huge inflatable that came out just for one song!

Not my video but this is one of my all-time favorite SKZ songs, and usually the one I send to people when I’m like YOU MIGHT LIKE STRAY KIDS???

I can’t put into words how hyped up this entire concert made me – Stray Kids have such a powerful catalogue of music! I was about to say that it must be impossible to be there and not move but then I remembered that Henry was seated and still the entire time LOL. And he actually does like them! He is a very stoic concert attendee. But you know what they say – everyone enjoys music their own way. For me personable, I bounce up and down with no rhythm like I have to pee. That’s my go-to move.

The girl next to me was very tall and stood with her arms crossed the whole time. Never clapped, cheered, screamed, moved. But the fact that she was standing made me feel like she wanted to be there at least? Maybe she was enjoying it in the same way Henry was.

My bias Han with my bias-wrecker, Felix.

FYI when I film snippets at concerts, I never hold my phone over my head. I am so careful and aware of not impeding upon someone else’s view and I just wish everyone had that same consideration. Some of those phones NEVER WENT DOWN ONCE. If everyone had kept their phones down, we would have had a clear view of the stage. I know I am guilty of recording parts of concerts but PLEASE KNOW that it is because I like to have little memories on my phone to go back and rewatch (and yes, I do, years later) BUT I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE.

You have no idea how much I have wanted to see a Kpop group use the cart! THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS AT THE ASIAN CONCERTS BUT NEVER AMERICA! WE FINALLY GOT THE CART!! I WAS SQUEALING AND HOPPING UP AND DOWN WITH MY LIGHTSTICK GRIPPED IN MY HANDS LIKE A ROSARY AT MY FIRST HOLY COMMUNION.

OMG this whole night felt like a huge party. It was so festive! So uplifting! With the exception of the grandma in front of me who held her phone up and recorded entire songs until she got too tired and finally sat down for the rest of the concert, everyone around us was wonderful, polite, stoked to be there (even Henry although he never shows it). My favorite “non-song” part of the night was when Bang Chan had us split into 4 groups to have a screaming contest, and then said he wanted to wait for a plane to fly over so we could try to get our screams to reach it – he was being half facetious since he had made numerous comments throughout the night about how weird it was to be performing in the middle of nowhere with planes flying so low overhead since we were next to an airport. But then literally right after he said it, a low-flying plane appeared and we went ballistic. It was so funny and endearing! I did see later that someone had posted an aerial view of the Rogers Stadium from a plane they were on, flying back to Toronto from Vegas, saying, “Looks like the new Rogers Stadium is having a concert.” It wasn’t the plane we were screaming at but it was still funny to see that circulating!

In lieu of listing out the set list like I normally do, here’s the SKZ pages from the concert journal that Megan got me which I recently realized is the perfect way to keep all of my freebies and wristbands, etc! I highlighted my fave songs – I FORGOT HOW FUCKING HYPE “MIROH” IS LIVE!!!!

Another highlight – SEEING HAN IN PERSON. I love him so much. His banter is so precious and hilarious!

I don’t think they did this in 2022, but they faked us out with a surprise encore – a bunch of people (including us) were already starting to leave, when we heard, “WE’RE BAAAAACK!” and then this is when all Hell broke loose because a bunch of them left the stage so everyone just rushed forward – INCLUDING ME because I get really caught up in these things, lol. Henry was just like, “You do you, I’ll be waiting RIGHT HERE by our seats.” So I went up to the front of the section we were in and couldn’t really see any better but it was still fun! Security just kind of gave up.

I didn’t see this until days later, but Bang Chan ran the entire circumference of the floor, barely being noticed, and then security almost didn’t let him back on stage LOL. He was like, “This is my concert” and then then they were like, “OMG” when they realized and opened the gate for him, lol. He was also going over to handicap areas and I love that so much.

After the show ended for real, 50,000 people all made their way out at the same time. It seemed like most people were headed in the direction of the subway station. We were still technically on the grounds of the stadium when the crowd in front of us came to a dead stop. I could see red lights ahead but couldn’t tell what was going on. Then I realized that security was up ahead, cutting off the crowd in waves to alleviate stress and overcrowding on the subway. We got stopped in twice, and the second time we were about 2 rows back from the line of security and I need to give them a special shout out here because if  this was in America, it would have been so aggro and negative, they would have been screaming at us to stop, people would have pushed back out of defiance. But here in Canada, they were SO NICE. And everyone LISTENED. One of them, an amazing man named Kyle, took the lead and was asking us all if we had a good time, who our favorite member was (people tried to teach him that the correct term is bias, lol), and then he said he wanted to be our favorite member from this part of the night and had us all chanting, “Kyle! Kyle!” It made me so giddy and now I’m tearing up at the memory because I love Canada so much and it was such a special way to end the night!

A few minutes later, our group was allowed to continue on and yes, there was a big crowd but it was moving safely, no one was pushing, everyone was calmly taking their time entering the station and walking down to the platform. We got lucky because since we were heading away from Toronto, less people were lining up on the side we were on, so we were able to get on the first train that arrived and it was nearly empty.

Two or three stops later, we were back at the lot where we parked. Probably took about 45 minutes in total to get back to the car after the concert let up. So our personal experience was quite smooth and positive, but I have seen a lot of negative feedback from other people who were apparently stuck in the stadium for up to 2 hours. We must have been in one of the first waves of people to leave so it hadn’t bottlenecked yet.

Hilariously, as we were walking back to the car, the tall girl who had been seated next to me at the concert and her friend walked past us! Henry and I both looked at her and then at each other, like, “Out of 50,000 people….” They had been walking out when we thought the concert first ended, before the gotcha encore, so we definitely did not leave at the same time as them where we would have been on the same subway. Yet there they were, in the same parking lot as us!

I will be rewatching videos from this show for a long time, I think. It was just such a great night, especially once the sun went down and it cooled off – it was so nice to be outside for this. I sincerely didn’t want it to be over. And Henry and I got along the whole time! And even the whole way home the next day!

(I cry every time I watch this one LOL):

The best part about going to a concert for a group that isn’t one of my ults is that I only feel pure excitement. I don’t know what it is about seeing groups like NCT Dream and GOD FORBID G-DRAGON but I get so sick to my stomach from the stress of it all!

With Stray Kids, I like them A LOT to where I know all of their names, some of the lore, pretty much all of the songs. But I don’t hard stan them. I’m not sure why this is but Henry and I don’t really watch much of their content which is actually a damn shame, and we should correct this soonly. We saw them back in 2022 on their Maniac tour but that was on a whim after I checked Ticketmaster a good while after the tickets went on sale and saw that there were some decent seats still available for NORMAL PRICES. I will never forget this day because for some reason, Henry had to drive his WORK VAN to Erie for some work-related thing – he was making a delivery of Everfresh or something? – and he asked if I wanted to ride up with him just to get out of the house. Much to his chagrin, this turned into me saying, “I have FOMO about not getting Stray Kids tickets” as one of their songs played on Spotify, and then seeing that ticket prices were reasonable, and ending with Henry saying, “UGH WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO, ERIN.”

YAY!

I’m actually ended up wearing the same shirt I wore to that concert. I had brought my Maniac tour shirt with me on this trip, but AFTER I PUT IT ON THAT AFTERNOON I NOTICED IT HAD COFFEE STAINS ON IT!!! Henry tried to get them out with a Tide stick I miraculously had in my travel bag (I definitely didn’t buy that, had to have been Henry’s forethought), but it only made it worse. I was rull upset about this for a few minutes but then shrugged it off because who cares. I’m 45.

We drove to the Pioneer Village subway station, which has a large parking lot. The Rogers Stadium, which has just been built and Stray Kids is the christening event, is apparently only going to be in use for 5 years??? I don’t fully understand what is happening here and also don’t care enough to do further research, but this is what Henry told me. It was built on an old runway near the airport, with a subway station about a 10 minute walk away and little to no parking from what I gleaned after reading all of the complaints, uproar and panic. Lol.

I can see where this would be super inconvenient, but for people who traveled to Toronto specifically for this and weren’t planning on driving anyway if we could avoid it, this was perfectly fine for us. It was a quick subway ride fill of other Stays. There were three middle school-aged Stays who looked at me in wide-eyed wonder when they saw that I was wearing a SKZ shirt and probably also going to the concert – actually, I felt like they were making fun of me but Henry said they weren’t, so we’ll go with what Henry said for once.

Yo, the lines were staggering! Everyone spilled out of the subway station and while some people milled about, most of us immediately got into a line. There was one that was very long, and then several others that were shorter and seemed to be moving faster so we crossed our fingers and got into one of those ones. There was legit no signage or instructions anywhere. We did determine eventually that a second super long, barely moving line was for a merch booth that was set up outside of the gates. I was like, “Surely there are more inside though??” I just wanted to get in so we skipped that shit.

For as daunting as the line seemed (you can see it snaking it well beyond that YZD sign up there) it actually moved pretty steadily. It wasn’t so bad either because people were handing out freebies and I am so much better at holding my handout in these situations now, even going so far as to follow someone for a freebie. I always use the self-deprecating line of, “I’m old so everyone always skips over me, HAHAHAHA” so cringey. Chooch would hate to hear that.

Han is my bias <3

I refused to wear black. It was only about 80 that day but with nary a cloud in the sky so that sun was straight BAKING us like STAY bread.

I’d say within 20 minutes, we had made it to the stadium! You can see to the right on the other side of the fence is the MERCH LINE.

We sailed right through the gates and got our FLOOR wristband, no issues!

I wasn’t expecting this but the ground of the stadium are pretty big, with some grassy areas too, so people were free to mill about, drink, eat, ride a ferris wheel, rather than wait in a line for the actual “doors” to open. We spent most of our time in the merch line which was a cluster. There was one very long line, and then three much shorter lines. We got into the long line because it was the closest one to the entrance where we came in, but immediately clocked the shorter lines. There was a mom and her 20’ish year old daughter in front of us who said someone else in our line had gone up to investigate and reported back that the other lines were for food.

Henry cried bullshit on this because here is what it looked like – I’m doing this at work with low energy so please excuse the artistic crudeness:

The booth was split up into four long windows, each had at least 3-4 people working. Pretend the first line has about 200 people in it lol because it legit probably did – it was so long that a staff member had to come over and make it turn so that it wasn’t impeding the general walk area. The other three lines probably had about 50 each. Henry was like I AM GOING TO GET IN ANOTHER LINE, JUST STAY THERE.

Kpop Dad has no time for this kind of bullshit. He hates it when people can’t understand that there is more than one line. He must have gotten yelled at for not lining up properly in the SERVICE and now he’s extremely triggered.

Meanwhile, I had struck up a nice conversation with the mom in front of me. She was so cute! This was her first Kpop concert – she traveled to Toronto with her daughter for it and I didn’t quiet catch where they had come from but I think it was somewhere else in Canada because they were referencing Canadian things to me like I should know and helped me pronounce Mississauga, which is the city we were staying at outside of Toronto. She asked me if we took the GO Train there and I said, “……yes?”

Henry told me later that NO, we did NOT. The GO Train is not the same as the subway, which I forget what the call there, lol. I tried! This is what happens when Henry leaves me alone to field adult questions! I sink.

Anyway, the mom was so cute, as previously mentioned, with her bedazzled Bang Chan jersey. “I got this on Amazon and jazzed it up!” she said, after we marveled over how creative some of the concert outfits were. She said she had primarily come there to accompany her daughter and I told her I was there for me, lol. I felt super comfortable talking to her and before I knew it, I was telling her all about how we got married in Korea last year.

Meanwhile, Henry was giving me a play-by-play from his line so I told my new friend that he was up there scoping it out. Eventually, he told me that it was definitely moving faster than my line and to come up. “Tell him you made new friends and ask him if we can come too!” the mom laughed, but I was already doing that exact thing! In the end, the mom said she would stay in our OG line, and her daughter would join me and Henry. There were only like 10 people ahead of Henry as opposed to the 100 still ahead of us in our line! Eventually, Henry was like, “I’m going to get a beer.”

“I dismissed him,” I said to the daughter, whose name I finally learned was Chloe and her mom was Holly. “He did the Lord’s work!”

I thought it would be awkward, standing in line with my fake daughter, but she was so sweet and easy to chat with! We basically just talked about kpop in general and she was genuinely interested in my origin story, which was crazy because it seems like just yesterday when I was at my first KCON in 2017 and felt like such a n00b. I guess I’m finally legit now!

We truly couldn’t understand why the lines were moving so slow because there were at least 4 people working in each section of the merch booth, as previously noted in my shitty Snag-It drawing. I knew exactly what I wanted, so when Chloe insisted that I go ahead of her as a thank you for saving her from the long-ass OG line, it took me less than 30 seconds to tell the super personable guy what shirt and size I wanted and tap my card. Bam, done.

I wished Chloe the best time and then wandered off to find Henry. Of course, I had remorse that I didn’t ask to connect with her on IG at the very least but would that have been weird since I was basically her mom’s age??? Oh well. Forever alone, lol.

I found Henry, stole his beer, and sent him off to get me a grilled cheese from a truck called CHEEZHEADZ. Ofc after he already ordered, he told me that the tater tot truck next to it had “TOTBOKKI.” AND A BIBIMBAP TACO. UGH.

Whatever, it was nice chilling on this grassy knoll, watching girls film SKZ dance challenges, zone out to the ferris wheel, and just genuinely bask in the beautiful day and fucking good vibes, man. It felt like Riot Fest, or Warped Tour. I’d say even Coachella but  my experience there was so miserable and this was not that.

I got two Han and one Hyunjin bracelets <3

OK,  this grilled cheese took forever but it was VERY classic-tasting, familiar, comforting. Nothing crazy added to it. And the fries were MY STYLE. THE GOOD KINDS! Ask Henry and he will tell you that after 24 years, he still can’t tell what that means.

By this time, it was about 6:45 so we decided to enter the stadium! PART 2 COMING SOON.

Ahhhh, let me just preface this by saying that it was one of best (non-Kpop related) nights I’ve had in a good long while. OK so last Friday night was the Loving and Losing tour at Thunderbird Cafe – Honey Revenge was headlining and while they are great and I have followed them on Instagram for a few years now, it was the opening band – nightlife – that I was there for first and foremost. If you read this post from last week, you know that I was having extreme FOMO because this show was sold out and I so desperately wanted to be there. nightlife hooked me up by putting me (and a +1, sorry Henry, you almost had an out but I have no other friends to take with me lol) on their guest list and I am forever grateful about this.

Doors hadn’t opened yet when we arrived, so I did have some mild panic standing in line, hoping that my name actually WAS on the list! Thank god they confirmed with me prior to this that my name is Erin KELLY not APPLEDALE which is how I’m known on Instagram haha. I feel like this happened to me once before where I was on a list for something as Erin Appledale and it was Big Confusion. Then there was the time where Debby’s niece’s boyfriend’s band was playing at the Four Chord Festival several years ago (god, more than a several years ago at this point) and put me on the list but THEY HADN’T PUT ME ON EARLY ENOUGH so I was arguing with the guy at the door and he was making smug, “MMM, SURE you are” faces at me so I had to frantically message Debby on Facebook (OK then yeah, this was like 10 years ago then lol) and she had to call her niece and then finally I was on the list but whew, I was sweating.

I was very worried that this was going to happen again and was glad that the people behind us in line were older and seemed cool in case this ended up perpetuating A SCENE.

But I was on the list and we got our wristbands with no issue!

We got cozy in the downstairs bar while waiting for the show to start. I was loving the vibes already. Laid back, cool, chill, varied crowd of all ages. Henry might not have been the oldest person there, even. I felt very comfortable and giddy. Just like, myself again. I can’t explain it but this night was starting out so perfectly.

Around 6:50, I left Henry to go out to the main floor for nightlife. I didn’t want to be sitting in a bar cave, drinking beer while watching them. Especially not after they did me a solid – I wanted to be out there and up in it. So I staked out a good spot near the right side of the stage.

Um. You guys. I can’t articulate well enough how energized and full of life this band made me that night. I was so stoked from start to finish!

AND THE SAXOPHONE!!

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Oh Jesus Christ. This band. I am so thankful for that fateful afternoon when they came on my Spotify. I am obsessed. This was such a feel good set, my face hurt from smiling!

I did get to talk to Hansel at the end of the night and he was so great. I thanked him profusely for helping me get there, it’s been a very long time since I felt that drawn to a non-Kpop band where I felt like I could die if I didn’t find a way to their show. Please, if you’re reading this, go listen to them on Spotify or whatever you use, help boost their streams. They deserve it!

I rejoined Henry after their set. I had told him that I was going to just stay with him at the bar for the rest of the night. LOL. I’m so funny. I was back out in my spot right as Vana was getting ready to come out. I knew a bit about them so I wasn’t shocked when their adorable cat-eared singer started roaring.

I really liked them a lot, more than I expected to! It sort of reminded me of some of the female-fronted bands in the early 2000s nu-metal scene. Not overly heavy, and it had a slight goth/industrial edge to it. VERY different from nightlife, but still had a solid crossover appeal.

Their sound made me miss Warped Tour so much. (Like, real Warped Tour, not whatever this anniversary bullshit thing is that they’re doing – bring it back as a full summer cross-country tour or don’t do it at all!!!!)

I can’t remember when it was that this happened, btw, but when I was walking from the bar area back out to my “spot,” one of the Thunderbird employees followed me all the way over there just to say she liked my purse, then she turned around and walked back, lol. You KNOW I texted Chooch this immediately.

“Ugh” was his succinct and predictable response.

Back at the bar with Henry, lol. He went and got himself some pizza and garlic knots at some point and saved one knot for me, what a gentleman, my fucking hero.

OK, the next band was Daisy Grenade and FOR SURE I was going to stay with Henry for this. FOR SURE. We had just seen them two weeks ago at the Pierce the Veil concert anyway, so I was fine with enjoying them from afar. And from our spot at the bar, the view of the stage was actually not bad at all. Henry said he had no problem watching any of the bands that night, right from where he stood. Good for him I guess.

But then! One of the girls said something about doing a cover, and they had asked their fans before the show what they wanted to hear. I missed what they said after that but one of the singers said something about hoping they could pull off Kevin’s voice, so I was flipping through my mental rolodex of bands, thinking for one with a singer named Kevin, when suddenly the opening (and iconic) notes of King For a Day blasted out of the speakers and I looked at Henry with wide eyes and said, “Oh, KELLIN!!!!!” They were covering Pierce the Veil’s song with Kellin Quinn from Sleeping with Sirens! I was like, “OK I lied, I gotta get out there” and then I recorded the whole song to send to Chooch because I was up against a wall so my phone was not in anyone’s way and also I was kind of buzzed and REALLY feeling excited about this?!

I was sold after this.

The band walked past me while I was waiting for Honey Revenge (I was standing near the STAFF ONLY door which was good because I got to see a lot of the bands walking by but also annoying because that door was opening and closing constantly) so I was able to say my signature & dorky, “You guys were awesome!” to the singer on the right up there and she said, “Thanks! Have a good night.”

I was excited to relay this to Henry afterward.

“Wow,” he said, trying to navigate his way out of the venue. God, get you a concert buddy that cares, amirite.

By this point of the night, I was ultra-hyped, all-in, totally stoked for Honey Revenge. So when I said that I was just going to run to the bathroom real quick and brb and then saw the line was super long, I shrugged and decided to just go straight back  to my spot near the stage, lol. Sorry, Henry!

While the rest of the band was setting up, the singer (Devin) ran past me and into the STAFF ONLY door to get to the stage. Her beautiful pastel hair fluffed the side of my face and I had a mild MARSHA BRADY post-Davy Jones kiss reaction to this.

OK, the hype is real, yo. I only knew some of their songs from scrolling through my IG feed but the day before the show I put them on Spotify to get a better feel for them and almost instantly fell into their….honey trap. Ugh I hate myself, lol. I hate comparing female fronted pop punk bands to Paramore because that’s such low-hanging fruit and so stereotypical BUT, feelings-wise, they gave me the same happy and excited vibe that the first Paramore album gave me back in the day before they went mainstream. They don’t SOUND like Paramore, but they FELT like early, pure Paramore. I was SWEATING through their set, it was the best aerobics.

There was something about her that reminded me of Georgia from the Netflix show Ginny & Georgia??? Chooch hates that show so when I told him that, he replied with a rude, “Mmm.”

I don’t have it in me to write concert reviews that hold any value these days, but this was honestly one of the best (non-Kpop!!) concerts I have gone to. I was so into it for all 4 bands and that’s just not always the case. I walked away loving nightlife even harder and being a legit fan of Honey Revenge. So far, my declaration of “go to concerts regularly like you used to” has been doing wonders for my mental state.

Apparently, Henry had an exciting time in the bar when some girl fell off her stool and was laying on the ground, passed out and drunk. Apparently, her friends left her and I was like, “OMG did you help her??” but he said other people were already assisting – that must have been really tough for Henry to keep his cape in his back pocket and play the role of bystander instead. I sure hope he was OK after that. Phew.

And also, he admitted that he enjoyed all of the bands and was glad that we went. WOW.

A few Fridays ago, I was sitting here at work listening to Spotify. This was around the time I started to get back into Kurt Travis and was heavily listening to his side project, Gold Necklace, so the algorithm was going with that. Most of the stuff I knew because I might have been out of the scene for a minute but the scene hasn’t changed THAT much.

Then suddenly, this one song came on that stopped me dead. Vocally, it sounded a bit like Bradley from Emarosa but also Tyler Carter from Issues a little and I was half-expecting it to be the latter even though it wasn’t very heavy.

It ended up being a new-ish (2021, I think) band from Baltimore called nightlife. They’re considered “soul punk” and I was like, “OK, I HEAR YOU, NIGHTLIFE.” I immediately looked them up on YouTube and saw that there is a video for the song that snagged the obsession lobe of my brain, so I immediately sent it to Henry who was napping. Then I ran upstairs and stood above him in bed like Fatal Attraction and when he didn’t immediately sense my looming presence, I started yelling DID YOU WATCH THE VIDEO I SENT YOU.

Literally 18 seconds after I sent it.

I made him watch it right then and there, drowsy from his startling nap-arousing, while I stood there watching to make sure he watched the whole thing before falling back asleep.

“WELL???” I screamed, awaiting a veritable college thesis on his thoughts of a 5-minute song.

“It was good,” he mumbled.

Then I sent it to my bud Wonka who practically DID write a book report on it as a response. He was really feeling it too!

Imagine how double-rainbow excited I was when Spotify told that nightlife was coming to Pittsburgh in a few weeks!!! I quickly went to the venue’s website and saw that they were actually an opening band for the Honey Revenge tour, and I had been following Honey Revenge on IG for several years. Plus, another supporting band is Daisy Grenade who we JUST saw at the Pierce the Veil concert. So, I had a lot of familiarity here and was stoked to buy tickets post haste.

Except…..

SOLD OUT.

I can’t explain the intense FOMO that encompassed me like a Killer Klown cotton candy cocoon in that moment. Just hang me from a rafter. It had been a long time since I had my heart THAT set on attending a non-Kpop concert and to see that I had no chance made my stomach hurt.

Spiraling out, I went to Instagram to see if I could find anyone with extra tickets. People were commenting on Honey Revenge’s post, and the band kept suggesting to check their Discord because fans were often selling extra tickets there.

I DON’T KNOW HOW TO USE DISCORD, I’M AN ELDER. I tried for about 5 minutes to figure it out and then gave up and texted Chooch who said he was “busy.” I kept nagging him and he said he didn’t know how and I was like OK LIES because he used to be on Discord all the time! I think they were using it for school during the pandemic, even?! Then he said, “I have to join a server and I don’t want to” WHATEVER THAT MEANS.

I gave up on my useless son who I am spending big money to send to college BUT THAT’S FINE, my body is still wrecked from CARRYING HIS LARGE HEAD INSIDE OF ME, also fine. Don’t throw Mommy a bone or anything. I’ll get over it.

Later that weekend, I was scrolling through nightlife’s IG feed, in full pout, watching videos from the previous shows and feeling so sorry for myself. One of their posts was the list of dates, urging everyone to come out, and I commented that I was crushed that the Pgh date was sold out before I could buy a ticket, but that I hoped they would come back soon.

They responded, “DM US, HOMIE.”

AND THEN THEY PUT ME +1 ON THEIR GUEST LIST FOR THE PGH SHOW!!

I truly was not looking for a handout, I would have gladly paid for a ticket, but this was so incredibly sweet of them. You better believe I will be hitting up their merch table tomorrow night! I am so stoked for tomorrow! Plus, Honey Revenge is so energetic, and I am in need of some girl power in my life.

I told Chooch and he actually responded with “That’s great!” but I can’t be sure if he meant it or not, haha.

(When I told Henry the good news, he said, “Oh. Good.” LOL.)

Pierce the Veil – where do I even begin?? First of all, being back at Star Lake was so weird and disorienting since it was an actual concert and not Warped Tour (with Warped Tour, we’d spend most of our time in a huge section of the parking lot that was fenced off for the two main stages and very little time under the actual pavilion). I immediately went to the bathroom and of course chose a stall with a door that wouldn’t lock so I had to lean forward and hold it with an outstretched arm while I was peeing and it felt like I was going to pop my arm out of socket so that was a very Erin start to the evening. But then, after Henry paid $22!!!!!!!!! for a beer, we found our seats and settled in. Henry was happy because I specifically bought an aisle seat but then I sat in it instead of giving it to him, haha.

I’ve been getting Reddit notifications about people complaining about how shitty the crowds have been at whatever PTV date they attended, and I am relieved to say that I only saw this stuff AFTER our date so that it didn’t cause me any unnecessary stress prior to the show, and that the crowd in our section at least was very tame and maintained good concert etiquette.  Did I think the super tiny couple in front of me was annoying? You fucking bet your aunt Betty’s britches I did BUT that was just me being me, lol. They weren’t actually doing anything that I couldn’t just ignore if I needed to. I was just fixated on the fact that the boyfriend, in his MCR letterman jacket and the bizarre way of dancing, looked like he was cast as an sock hop attendee in a Happy Days episode. He and his babe were going to pop a squat at the mom and pop soda shop afterward for a motherfucking egg cream, gee whiz.

The upside was that they were both super short so I could easily just…not look at them if I didn’t want to. But Chachi kept turning around to record himself with the stage in the background.

Anyway, Daisy Grenade opened and they were fine. Upbeat girl power pop rock from NY.

Then Sleeping with Sirens came on and I even though I used to love them, I will be honest and say that I haven’t seen the best performances of theirs over the years. They still have the same singer (Kellin Quinn) but the rest of the band has changed so much that I didn’t even know NICK MARTIN was in it now! So that was a fun throw back for me. There was a time when I feel like I was seeing Nick everywhere.

It only took about 20 seconds for me  to get totally swept up in feelings though. Henry sat through the whole thing and scrolled though his phone. At one point, he was looking at the ground through his camera viewfinder??

What a total Herb.

In case one day this video is gone, here’s the caption:

A HENRY&ERIN MEMORY: Back when Henry still had me in the Proposal Waiting Room (9 years in and my number still wouldn’t be called for another 13 years unbeknownst to me) and I was at the height of my delusional Imaginary Never-Wedding planning, this song came out and I became OBSESSED with having a full choreographed contemporary “first dance” to it (I was also super into SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE back then too). I used to listen to it on repeat while walking a nearby high school track AND OPENLY WEEP because I wanted to get married so badly lol.

Last night, I looked over lovingly at Henry when Sleeping With Sirens was performing this song, and he was….sitting down & scrolling through Instagram.

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Anyway, turns out that SWS still has the ability to make me emotional; get it, Kellin.

And then finally – PIERCE THE VEIL! Before I get into that, I just want to say that Chooch was texting me before they came out, saying things like, “let me know if they play Fast Times at Clairemont High or Even When I’m Not With You” and “Wasn’t ‘If I’m James Dean…’ your alarm?” and I was swooning at the fact that he remembers this from…15 years ago??

F I F T E E N

Y E A R S

A G O

F M L

But wow, what an unexpected departure from the “wow” and “mm cool” responses that I usually get from him! It’s like he actually cared that I was at the PTV concert!

And then something else unexpected happened when the lights went out for PTV:

H E N R Y

S T O O D

U P

Can you even believe it?? Henry NEVER stands at concerts if there is an empty seat directly behind him! Does Henry….like PTV now? According to him, he never said he didn’t like them but I believe this to be a bald-faced lie.

BRB going to wake Henry from his nap to see if he wants to go see them again tomorrow night in Cleveland LOL.

We were pretty far back – actually it was the farthest back I have ever been for PTV; I have been “stage-hugging” close in the past but for this one, I wanted to be comfortable and I wasn’t disappointed in the seats at all – so I don’t have much to share on here media-wise. JUST THAT I FELT SO MUCH JOY. Not that I was ever “young” during my time as a PTV fan, but that night really did make me feel like I was in high school. I was already in my mid-20s when I first heard of them but it really does feel like I grew up with them. Just like, nothing else mattered but the music being played in front of us that night. It was incredible and I am so glad that I bit the bullet and got us tickets for this show, especially now that Henry has turned a new leaf and appreciates them like I always have! I called him two days later when he was on his way home from work and he legit answered by saying, “You interrupted ‘Pass the Nirvana,’ what do you want??”

You know I texted Chooch immediately and said, “Apparently your dad listens to PTV on his own time now.”

SETLIST (& no, they didn’t play the songs Chooch asked about, sadly)

El Rey / Jose Alfredo Jimenez used as their intro music

1. Death of an Executioner
2. Bulls in the Bronx
3. Pass the Nirvana
4. I’m Low on Gas and You Need a Jacket
5. I’d Rather Die Than Be Famous
6. Where Is My Mind? (Pixies cover) (Snippet which segued seamlessly into….)
7. Floral & Fading
8. Circles
9. Yeah Boy and Doll Face (FML SRSLY)
10. She Makes Dirty Words Sound Pretty (Partial) (WTAF??? I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD HEAR THIS LIVE AGAIN)
11. Today I Saw the Whole World (acoustic)
12. Wonderless
13. May These Noises Startle You in Your Sleep Tonight
14. Hell Above
15. Caraphernelia
16. Emergency Contact
17. Bulletproof Love
18. Disasterology
19. Hold On Till May
20. King for a Day (with Kellin Quinn)

I guess I’ll share this one since evidently, it’s Henry’s favorite! (I love this song but hate the video, FYI.)

[Sadly, a few days before this concert, Dave Shapiro and several others from the music industry were killed in a plane crash. Vic especially seemed maudlin when the show first started, but they all seemed to feed off the energy of the crowd and pushed through. I can’t imagine how difficult and painful it has been for them to continue this tour when they are mourning the loss of such a close friend. Ugh.]

Sunday was such a glorious day! In therapy this week, I was saying that I know it might not always be healthy to do this but I can never help but compare the present to the past and this was one of the few times recently that it worked to my benefit – last Memorial Day Weekend (2024) was so bad. Chooch was in DC visiting his Mexico study abroad roommate so I was sad about that because we would typically do a family coaster roadtrip and then I remember (vividly!) having massive body image freakouts that weekend. We had planned to get some flowers for the yard and went to a nearby cemetery first where I had a major mental breakdown over how I felt inside my skin. I flipped out and said, “We need to go home NOW.” And that really set the tone for the whole weekend. I spent the whole weekend frantically searching for miracle diets, and then there was a huge storm that Sunday and our power was out all night and I was so miserable. The only good memory I have is that Bambi was still alive then. But yeah, it was such a bad “inside my head” weekend that I actually tried to block it out for a while there.

But this past weekend was the total opposite and gave me hope that maybe “life goes on” isn’t such a corny saying after all.

Most of Sunday was chill, just hanging out, reading, going for walks. But then around 4:30 we left for the Pierce the Veil concert and I was so giddy. You guys, I haven’t seen them since 2017 – a combination of many things: PTV having a sizeable gap between albums so they weren’t touring, Covid, me diving headfirst into Kpop. I actually think I only missed one of their Pgh shows during that interim though, maybe two. I almost missed this one too! I knew they were coming, I still follow them on Insta. But I saw the venue and wasn’t too inspired. (Star Lake, an outdoor pavilion that’s about 45 minutes outside of Pgh.) It’s always a disaster trying to leave there because there is only one exit so Henry was ultra-grumbly about having to go here again after such a long reprieve. I’m a passenger princess so what do I care?

We stopped at Sheetz and got an IPA to share in the parking lot since we had some time to kill and I was IN FULL ERIN FORM by then. As soon as I saw all of my fellow PTV fans, I was so stoked and felt like it was mid-2000s again. Do you have any favorite bands where you can remember exactly the first time you heard them? My Pierce the Veil origin moment is a perma part of my memories. It was 2007 and I was driving home from visiting Christina in Cincinatti. Back then, I used to make mix CDs of all of the recommended bands in Alt Press magazine. On this particular mix, I had both PTV and Dance Gavin Dance, among others. When I say I almost record-scratched the car (I think this was the Nissan Sentra era, hated that fucking lemon so much) off the highway when “Currents Convulsive” came on….and I had NO IDEA what it was either because I was driving and couldn’t look at my track list until the next time I stopped!

I just remember thinking that the singer’s voice sounded so familiar to me and it turned out that I had listened to Vic Fuente’s original band, Before Today, on PureVolume. I was so into PureVolume back in the day and it’s even how I knew of Panic! At the Disco before they even released anything other demos. Not a humble brag, just a fact! I was constantly on the prowl for new music back then (OK, that never changed lol).

The demographic of PTV fans seemed to still be sort of young. Maybe more young adult now as opposed to teenagers back when I was still regularly going to their shows. Henry even commented, “Why does it seem like I have gotten older but the fan base has stayed the same age?” LOL I mean, Henry was always old in comparison though. Even I was!

I will say, I supremely miss the scene kid era. I only saw ONE person who could have passed for a scene kid. Bring back scene kids! I feel like the music genre back then was referred to as “scene music” and now everyone just calls it emo but to me, emo is like, I dunno, midwestern sad boy rock like Appleseed Cast and Braid and Sunny Day Real Estate. Things have changed a lot when I wasn’t paying attention to American shit, I guess.

There was a merch truck in the parking lot, so I decided to grab my shirt there before we went into the venue. There were two girls behind me, probably mid-20s, and one was a kpop stan. I was going to turn around and try to make friends but she was talking waaaay too much about J-Hope and sorry but I don’t really want to deal with Army so I kept to myself. I swear though, the whole Warped Tour scene is such a natural gateway into Kpop land, I can’t explain it but it makes so much sense. It was like a natural progression for me to go from this to kpop, and I’m trying to make more room for both in my life because after this night, and my Johnnie Guilbert deep-dive, I realize now that I still have a blackened section of my heart and I have been depriving it of attention for 10 years now!

Standing in this line, in the dusty parking lot, brought back so many memories of Warped Tour. I’m tearing up all over again – those were the best days of my life. Henry and I even chatted about it a bit on the drive to Star Lake, how it was the ONE DAY a year where we did NOT argue at all. I was so blissed out for the entire day, start to finish, that it was nearly impossible to burst by bubble. I honestly can’t think of a single bad Warped-related memory, except for the time I went to Warped in Cincinatti with Christina and her sister Cynthia and MISSED CHIODOS because Cynthia was the one driving and we were at her mercy, so when she decided to stop at Walgreens for NO GOOD REASON, there was nothing we could do to stop this and I felt so out of control and anxious. Then she decided she wanted TO LEAVE EARLY so I missed PARAMORE. To this day, I still have never seen Paramore, and that would have been the era I wanted to see them the most. I don’t care too much for their mainstream radio bullshit.

But literally every Warped Tour after that was heaven for me. I loved the exhaustion, the sun burn, the music hangover, the joy of following Warped’s progression around the country all summer via social media, watching all of the YouTube content, getting obsessed with new bands. It was my Christmas in July. And Pierce the Veil was always the angel on top of the Christmas tree, every time they were a part of the lineup.

Getting inside was smooth sailing because some nice Star Lake staff member zoomed over in his golf cart to tell us that once we got our merch to NOT get in the line closest to us because it was packed in comparison to one of the other entrances behind us. He wasn’t wrong! We walked right in.

Henry bought a $22 (ughughughugh) beer to share and we found our seats where we proceeded to people watch and reminisce about old scene stuff. This season of life is so weird. I’m still trying to acclimate!

Anyway, I will end this here and save all the band talk for the next post, OMG CAN YOU STAND THE WAIT. Another OHE concert recap, how blessed are you.

I have been sitting with this one for a few days now. I listened to it when it first came out over the weekend but have REALLY listened to it more the last day or so and it has broken me. I knew that Jonghyun was somehow going to be featured on it but didn’t know the full details and hoped that it wasn’t going to be some weird, cold, tacky AI recreation of his voice.

But then I learned that this was something Jonghyun had been writing and composing for SHINee before his death. His family allowed SHINee to use it and Jonghyun’s guide vocals were incorporated into the chorus and also the bridge, which he hadn’t had a chance to write the lyrics for, so they kept his “scatting” in that part and, paired with the rest of SHINee dancing together in a circle, it just really sent me. I was crying (and still am lol) so hard that I was choking.

I think what I love the most about this song is that since it was written pre-2018, it has that nostalgic feel to it that makes me remember why I began to love Kpop so much to begin with. It’s light, airy, summery, totally SHINee-coded. I have been trying to spread the word about this because as usual, SM is doing a pisspoor job promoting it so it’s not getting the traction and attention that it deserves, especially not with the new gen Kpop fans who just haven’t learned about SHINee.

My love for SHINee is so stupid strong. I really hope that they come to the US some day!

Anyway, I have lots more fun Memorial Day weekend to recap once I stop crying over this haha.

Oh you guys, when Onew announced his US solo tour, I was gagged. And this was legit right after seeing Taemin too!! Onew is lowkey my favorite member of SHINee – yes I love Taemin so much but there is something so magical about Onew’s vocals. I was so anxious about getting decent tickets for this that I opened a CITI credit card so that I could do the CITI Ticketmaster presale like a freaking unhinged kpopper. If I was going alone, I would have had better luck but I still managed to snag Henry and myself two seats in the second row of the balcony so I was content with that. After being on the floor for Taemin’s theater show, I was set on getting balcony seats for this one!

Doors had opened by the time we found our way to back of the line, but there was only one entrance I guess so only small groups were being let in at a time. The people around us in line were so nice though so it was a pleasant wait. The girl in front of us was handing out banners and pouches that held a little flashing LED ball with instructions to remove the little plastic tag during Onew’s performance of “Winner.” She was farther up in line passing them out and her mom, who was standing two people ahead of us, could sense my manic “OH PLZ, ME ME ME” anxiety so she nodded toward me and her daughter came over and banner’d me up :)

Henry declined as usual. Ugh. Not much of a Jjinggu.

(Onew’s fan name! I actually wasn’t sure if he had one but when Megan decided she wanted to stan him, she asked me and I was like, “………you know, I’m not sure!” Then I saw it mentioned on Reddit and almost died because it’s such a cute name. Onew’s real name is Jinki, and the word for “friends” in Korean is CHINGU which you would KNOW of you pay attention to my free teachings here on OH HONESTLY, ERIN DOT COM. A double j is the equivalent of the “ch” sound so…Jjinggus is a mash-up of his name and chingu – Jinki’s friends!)

Henry was commenting on the fact that it was a “strange crowd” meaning notsomuch that it was a collection of strange people, but moreso that there were a LOT of people in line who wouldn’t necessarily be pegged as a Kpop stan. Lots of older (and I mean like even older than Henry) people but it makes sense because SHINee is second gen, so they do have lots of senior fans at this point.

I just had a really good feeling about this, is all I mean to say.

!!!!!!!

OK, Fillmore! I want to say right off the bat that the staff was exceptional and the theater itself was a dream. I was so excited for Onew – while he definitely performs in much larger venues throughout Asia, I really knew he would shine here at the Fillmore.

We were in our seats by 6:30ish, I’d say, which was great until I noticed that the show didn’t start until 7:30. People-watching time! There were mostly older women in the row in front of us – one of them looked to be in her early 70s and she was fucking SHAKING IT throughout nearly the whole show so props to her, living her best golden age! There is just something so inspiring about seeing people of an older generation lose their minds at a concert. I hate to admit this, but younger Erin would have FOR SURE mocked this display and then ran home to post all catty-like about it in her offensive and problematic LiveJournal, but adult Erin understands the true rarity of this type of joy and hopes that she too still experiences this kind of music-related happiness in her elder years.

I guess that is GROWING UP.

Henry tries so hard to be like me so he had to run and grab an IPA before the show started. I had had ENOUGH beer (like, the equivalent of two throughout the entire day!) but I was happy to steal some sips from his can. I am definitely not the type of person who needs to drink at a concert.

MANSPREADING. I took this and sent it to Chooch, who was sick in Philly that weekend but not sick enough to care to live vicariously through us.

And then at 7:30PM, it was Onew Time! He apologized for not having a band or dancers, but yo – if anyone can and SHOULD own a stage on his own, it’s Onew. His stage presence and vocals were beyond, next level, on point, divo coded. Pick one! The vibes were immaculate, as they say.

I knew immediately that this was going to be a night I’ll never forget. When I first REALLY started paying attention to Kpop, I remember looking to see if any of the groups ever toured here because please remember that prior to this, I was an emo girlie, a Sad Boy Music groupie, going to cheap shows at tiny venues so I had NO idea if this stuff was popular here in the States. It was apparently still pretty niche back then but JUST popular enough that some of the bigger groups in Korea were selling out arenas here in the States. I remember getting excited when I saw that SHINee was coming here soon (I feel like this was winter of 2017) so I looked it up and saw that none of the shows were near Pgh and they were all sold-out anyway, lol. That was the last time SHINee was in the States. At the end of that year, Jonghyun took his life, leaving them as a 4-member group and they never came back to the US again.

I am still so scarred by this, still cry over Jonghyun, still think of him heavily on the anniversary of his passing, still keep a framed picture of him on my bedroom wall in reverie.

Kpop may seem like “tone deaf bubblegum bullshit” to some, but it is so special to me and some of these singers have my whole heart. Onew is one of them. So, being a Shawol and missing the chance to see SHINee in their prime, I feel very grateful that I was able to see Taemin AND Onew in the same year!

Sorry, these pictures are basically screenshots from my videos so they are shitty quality, but I need to always remember how precious he looked on this night!

OK, I try not to record too much, but I recorded this full song because it’s one of my favorites and it’s also the exact song that got Megan to stan him so I wanted to send it to her. His vocals are so angelic!! He was so perfect all night. Even Henry said he wasn’t bored during the ballads and that’s usually where singers lose his attention. I kept sneaking peeks at him and he seemed to be focused the whole time!  I mean, he wasn’t moving or emoting, but his eyes were opened and directed at the stage. That’s a big deal.

And “Beat Drum”!!

And “Yay”!

For his encore, he came out with a basket of balls and was sad that he his aim wasn’t powerful enough to get them up to the balcony from the stage (I understood this without having to rely on the translator he had with him! My contextual Korean is semi-decent as long as no one asks me to repeat it back word for word) so he came down off the stage and walked closer to the balcony – I was so nervous that someone was going to fall over because people were clotheslining themselves along the edge, trying to get closer so they could catch one of his balls. I’m not sure what was inside but NCT127 does this too at their concerts – the last one I went to, someone at the end of my row, like 3 people down from me, caught one.

So, that was entertaining.

I think the ONLY annoying thing of the whole night was the girl in front of me who appeared to be anywhere from 15 to 20, I truly couldn’t tell, who was with some broad that looked much older but not her mother? I didn’t get mother-daughter vibes from these two, but the older one had opera glasses with her and the younger one kept leaning back into my sightline so that she could record the older one dancing or singing or fake-crying, I have no idea what was going on but I was like, “CAN YOU HAVE SOME SPATIAL AWARENESS PLEASE, STAY IN YOUR BOUNDARIES.” It only happened a view times but it was so annoying because every time, she blocked my whole view with her idiot head.

The two girls next to me were both singles. The one right next to me recorded the whole entire show, no stopping. Henry’s big oaf body ruined her video though because he got up once in between songs when Onew was talking because he wanted to grab a shirt for me rather than waiting in line after the show. I admit that I do break my “only short clips” rule depending on the concert and will sometimes record the entire song if it’s a BIG FAVE of mine, like something that goes on the perpetual playlist, but I can’t fathom having the endurance or lack of self-consciousness to blatantly hold up my phone through an entire concert. She didn’t seem to be blocking anyone’s view so…cool I guess.

SETLIST:

1. Focus
2. Shape of My Heart
3. O (Circle)
4. Boy
5. Dice
6. Beat Drum
7. Graduation
8. Love Phobia
9. All Day
10. Always
11. Illusion
12. MAD
13. Starry Night (acapella snippet where he said that in Korea, this is the song on the setlist where the fans sing with him but he took it off the US set list. He was like, “Do you want to try to sing some of it together?” and then it all fell apart because only some of the crowd could sing the Korean parts so Onew laughed and said, “Yeah, I think it was a good idea that I took  this off the list” and it was so genuinely funny I love him so fucking much)
14. In the Whale – !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVES AND I DID NOT THINK WE WOULD BE HEARING THIS THAT NIGHT!!!!!!
15. Maestro
16. Yay
17. Winner

ENCORE

1. Hola!
2. Conversation
3. Promise You

Oh, what a beautiful night. Even Henry taking this terrible picture of me couldn’t ruin the vibe.

Then we stopped at a gas station for snacks and bev – Henry the Beer Monster got ANOTHER beer to take back to the hotel and then later saw a WARNING NOTICE that Michigan Law prohibits alcohol from being brought into a hotel, for some reason? “Oh well,” he shrugged, and continued drinking it as the ubiquitous “Friends” reruns played on the TV in the background. Wow, what a fucking rebel.

Anyway, this is a mirror selfie from the lobby of the hotel.

The show was over pretty early (by 9:30!) I guess because since it was just Onew and he didn’t have wardrobe changes, there was no need for the typical VCRs that happen at other Kpop concerts, where the artists leave the stage and you watch some recorded content until they return in new outfits and the stage set is swapped out. This was just Onew churning out song after song on his own and it was EXCEPTIONAL.

On the drive home the next day, I blurted out, “I have to admit something to you and it’s something that I have been thinking about heavily.” Henry looked v. concerned.

“I think I liked Onew’s concert better than Taemin’s,” I said all in one quick mashed-up sentence.

Henry considered this and then said, “Yeah, I can see that.”

Look. Brenda, listen to me before you start running your mouth, OK? It’s just that Taemin is A PERFORMER. He’s a DANCER. He brings dancers with him and has costume changes and elaborate stages. But in America, he performed at small theaters where he was contained to tiny stages and it just really stifled him. Yes, of course he was still fabulous and of course I was ecstatic to have gotten tickets to see him. But it’s just that I know he does HUGE concerts in Asia and this just felt like it did him no justice.

But Onew is a SINGER. He is known for his distinct vocals and incredible singing ability. He performs in musicals, he acts, he singer opera. This man does not need bell and whistles – just a stage, a mic, and his voice. He was incredible and kept me captivated to the end. I felt absolutely OBSESSED by the time we walked out of the theater, and we listened to him the whole way home the next day in the car. I mean, I obviously already loved him so much that I named our car after him (“You did?” Henry recently said, and I was like THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN, I EVEN BLOGGED ABOUT IT THE DAY WE BROUGHT THE CAR HOME?!??“) but it’s on another level now.

Oh, I also want to add that a few years ago, Onew went on a suspicious “hiatus” right after SHINee had a comeback, so they did all of their music show performances and concerts as a three-piece. He looked REALLY gaunt and unhealthy, and then just kind of went off the grid for about a year to the point where I was like, “HENRY CALL SM ENTERTAINMENT AND TELL THEM THAT YOU’RE A CONCERNED KPOP DAD AND DEMAND TO KNOW IF HE’S OK?!” and Henry was like, “Yeah, I’ll get right on that.” But in all seriousness, it was so concerning and handled very poorly by SM (not shocking). Eventually, he made a vague post on IG and we were all so relieved that he was still alive. Shortly after, it was announced that he (and soon after, Taemin) had decided to not renew his contract with SM and signed with Griffin, who has been taking such great care of him. He has been releasing SO MUCH music and then got to come to the US for a tour! Same with Taemin. SM would never send them here. Onew looks so happy and healthy, and as a true fan, that is what you love to see.

Stan Onew!!