The moment the lights went out in the Chicago Theater, I knew I was cooked. Done for. Stick a fork in me, sir.

(Blog Post Interlude: Henry, being the respectful Kpop Dad that he is, was standing at first and then realized that the girl behind him was v. smol, so he apologized and remained seated for the whole concert. Sure, call him courteous, praise his nunchi, but I believe this was his excuse to sit and drink his beer while admiring Taemin’s abs in comfort.)

Taemin opened with Deja Vu and my heart was palpitating at dangerous levels. Taemin.

LEE TAEMIN.

!!!!

UNDER THE SAME ROOF AS ME!

This is from the Bangkok stop because I couldn’t find any good quality videos from Chicago, but this is a classic example of going from “liking a song” to “FUCKING OBSESSING OVER A SONG” after seeing it performed live. It expanded its real estate in my heart.

I have been struggling with how to effectively encapsulate the swirling feelings of this night into a blog post, but if you have ever seen one of your God Tier artists, you know how it is. It’s impossible. You just have to know that I was hyper-aware of the riotous thumping of my heart the whole entire night. The mask may have been stifling my maniacal screaming, but I was IN DEEP. I could not take my eyes off of him (except for when the broad in front of me would start to lean out of the aisle, forcing me to have to move into the aisle too – she was pissing me off so much because she HAD SO MUCH ROOM between her and the girl to her right and if she would have just fucking stood within the area of her actual seat, I would have had the perfect view that I paid for BUT WHATEVER. That was the only less than perfect part of the whole night.)

I just want to post ever live video from the concert that I can find but that would be ridiculous so I will just keep watching those on my own time and tell you that this one of the best nights of my life. Taemin is art in motion. I know he is not a machine but D A N G, I wish he would have performed for another 2 hours. It felt so short.

Set 1:

• • Intro video
• Deja Vu
• Guilty
• Advice
  • Ment 1
• Goodbye
• IDEA
• Heaven

Set 2: Ballads

• • VCR (Henry went and bought my shirt during this!)
• I’m Crying
• Clockwork (!!!!!!!!!! I never thought I would hear this live!!!!)
• Not Over You
  • Ment 2 (with snippets of a cappella fan-requested songs, including LOVE!!!!, Flame of Love, Pretty Boy – he gave Kai a shout out here, welcoming him back from the military!)
• The Unknown Sea
• Blue

Set 3:

• • VCR
  • Dance break with dancer intros (I thought this was so cool of him to give them props!)
• G.O.A.T.
• The Rizzness (!!!)
• Sexy In the Air
  • Ment 4
• Move (!!!!! LEGENDARY)
• Want
• Criminal (I died)
• Horizon

Fan-led Singalong organized by ChiWols – The Unknown Sea

ENCORE:

• Danger
• Crush
  • Ment 5
• Hypnosis
  • Ment 6
• Say Less

I started crying as I typed that last song, haha.

These pictures are trash because they’re basically just screenshots from my videos but I don’t care.

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I go to concerts fairly often but this was the first time in quite some time when I actually had friends texting me the next day, and messaging me when I got back to work, asking me how it was because they knew what a major deal this was for me, and that made it even more special.

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OH LORD HELP ME.

I was texting Chooch like a maniac during the VCRs and when we got back to the hotel.

“Yeah, but did he even glance* at you?” he asked because he is such a little bastard lol.

*(I tried so hard to get VIP for the opportunity to “make eye contact” with Taemin, literally that was how one of the perks was described, and Chooch thought it was the funniest thing ever that 1. I was willing to pay $250 for this perk and that 2. VIP packages sold out in seconds.)

Songs I would have given up my blood to hear live:

• Love (he did sing a verse!)
• Rise
• Nemo
• Press Your Number
• Artistic Groove

But honestly, he could have sung nursery rhymes to us all night and I would have been happy.

And then the lights came on. I did not want to leave. :(

All I remember after this was walking back to the hotel in a daze, then being body-slammed by adrenaline and unable to fall asleep. I just lay there in bed, watching the video snippets I took on my phone, “Friends” playing on the hotel TV as is hotel tradition for us, feeling this insane mix of euphoria and a deep aching, which of course would grow legs by the next day and turn into full-fledged post-show depression.

On the drive home (which was actually pleasant, no fighting!) I just kept whispering, “I can’t believe we saw Taemin. He is so perfect. DID YOU SEE HOW PERFECT HE IS??”

My favorite part about him is his divine duality – when he is performing, he is this dark, sultry angel telling a story with every move he makes. right down to the intentional flexing of his fingers. No move is wasted, even the slightest twitch of his elbow matters. But then the music stops and he is LEE TAEMIN-AH, exuding precious innocence, being a dork, mocking us and himself – I can’t stand him, lol!

Ugh, it was so good. Taemin is a living legend and if you don’t know him by now, why?!

Our hotel (StayPineapple!) was a block away from The Chicago Theater and I kept looking out the window to see if people were lining up yet. There was a scary moment around 5PM when a bunch of firetrucks rolled up with their sirens on and parked directly across from the theater. I was like, “I SWEAR TO GOD, IF TAEMIN IS IN A BURNING BUILDING…..” but then they went into the building across from the theater. I don’t know what was happening but there didn’t appear to be a fire anywhere and hopefully it was nothing serious.

Yo, I was sooo paranoid and superstitious about this concert. Like, Lord just let me see Taemin tonight, Amen.

We left the hotel around 6 – doors were supposed to open at 6:30 and I wanted to have some time to pass out my freebies to my fellow Taemates. Dude, that took all of 10 minutes. My pins were gobbled up so quickly! It was fun getting to have some interactions with people in line and trading freebies with other people who also brought stuff – I got some fun bracelets :) And Henry, my placeholder in line, was also accumulating some swag for me too, what a dork lol.

I just want to say that this theater’s staff and security were so efficient with getting us inside quickly and safely. They had a side entrance opened as well so we were herded into that line, which then split into more lines for the security check points. Isn’t it sad that this is the world we live in, where we have to be searched before entering a theater? I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately, especially after seeing Ollie Wride at the Crafthouse where we walked right in and I can’t remember the last time I went to a concert where we could just “walk right in.”

Anyway though, it’s usually pretty quick with kpop concerts because these people know what not to have on their person but of course we managed to pick the ONE LINE that had the slug-slow security agent sifting through every item in every bag. Meanwhile, I WAS SO SICK TO MY STOMACH WITH PRE-TAEMIN JITTERS. I was so ready to see him / no, I’m not ready / OMG I can’t wait to see him / no, this isn’t real, I’m going to puke.

And so on and so forth, the internal angst went.

Once we were inside, it was mayhem. First order of business was merch procuring. This theater was not made for Kpop, lol. The merch line wrapped all the way down the first floor and up the steps to the balcony level, so Henry said he’d take one of the team and go back out to snag me a shirt during one of the VCRs — that’s the part of the concert where the artist/group leaves the stage to do a wardrobe change and pre-recorded videos play. To this day, the ones at the Winner concert in 2019 were the best because they were hilarious skits.

Our seats were OK. I can’t complain because I was able to get in as soon as they went on sale, managed to buy two before it sold out / went to premium prices. I want to say it was around $150 a seat, and almost immediately after that, all of the seats around our that were still available were triple that price. Fucking Ticketmaster. This whole tour was such a ticketing cluster. So many people missed out because they couldn’t afford the resale prices which of course dropped significantly days before the show (for the LA one at least, so I hear) but when so many people have to travel for Kpop concerts, it was gut-wrenching to see the disappointment in fans who just couldn’t viably drop everything and make that trip with less than a week’s notice.

I really fucking hate you, Ticketmaster.

Henry immediately left his seat to go to the bathroom and told me later that when he went to get my shirt, he wanted to use the bathroom again but the staff apparently realized that there were way more women there than men so they closed the mens rooms on the first floor and Henry had to go all the way upstairs to find an open one, lol. Anyway, he came back with this beer and it was pretty good! I was excited to post it on Untappd, haha.

He also got POPCORN for some idiotic reason (YOU DON’T EAT POPCORN AT A TAEMIN CONCERT HENRY) and this is him masticating his moustache into a twist while I attempted to take our picture. Ugh. Also, I wore a mask through the whole concert because I was on the tail end of a nearly two week illness and didn’t want to infect any fellow Taemin fans. I was also concerned for Taemin’s health too because I kept hearing about how many different flus and viruses were going around at the time, how it was the worst flu season we’ve had in decades, and all I kept thinking about was how now Taemin was here in the land of anti-vaxxers and mask-haters, and he was doing some VIP group pictures with fans. I really hope he was able to stay healthy and uninfected while he was here in fucking Dumberica.

This theater was so beautiful! And matched Taemin’s majestic aura.

The fans were a wide range of ages and ethnicities, and I will say that there were more men there than I have seen at most Kpop concerts. (Most of them were there with female counterparts but most of them seemed to also be fans, like Henry!)

Since doors opened earlier than 6:30, we ended up having to sit there for an hour waiting, and I will tell you that it was fucking FREEZING in that theater. Plus, I was wearing a thin blouse that billowed and fanned me every time someone walked by. And my legs wouldn’t stop shaking because of N E R V E S so Henry kept putting his hand on my knee to make me stop but I was sincerely about to catapult myself right out of my seat and through the ceiling, into the midwestern sky. It was really like that, I’m not exaggerating. The anticipation, the constant checking my phone for the time, trying to distract myself by texting Chooch who of course was just like “mm cool,” being annoyed by Captain Popcorn. It was all too much.

But then, finally, 7:30PM came and the lights went out…

I can’t do anything now that G-Dragon is back. Every time I sit down to update this thing, I am just like, “No….must watch G-Dragon’s new videos again. Must watch other people watching his videos. Must hound Chooch to watch his videos. Must throw my head back dramatically while hyperventilating thinking about the upcoming tour.”

I would throw myself down on the line for this man. I have no problems saying it.

Crying again. I missed his voice so much. I feel this song in every cell of my body.

I will sit in the very last row if I have to, Lord just help me get a ticket to see him.

Sorry, I am all-consumed. Cannot focus on anything else.

I have been driving my friends at work nuts with this too. They even changed the name of our group chat to this the other day and I love it:

All I want to do is talk about this album!!! Thank god Henry is into it because I have no one else, lol.

NEVER FORGET, ONE OF THE BEST BIRTHDAYS OF MY LIFE (only thing that topped this was when I got to spend my birthday in Korea!):

Act III:Motte, Part 2: Where I Left My Body On Earth & Wafted Up to the Heavens

Remember when he was mere feet away from me, Jesus Christ, how did I ever get that lucky.

Back at the start of the pandemic, I had somehow come across retrowave playlists on YouTube. Actually, I’m pretty sure the algorithm did its thang and my obsessive listening to the Black Queen organically planted me in the lap of this beautiful synth movement. I tend to not listen to Kpop while I’m working because it distracts me (I will start to try and translate what I’m hearing and then I need to stop what I’m doing to check if I’m correct, or I want to get up and jump around, or I will start daydreaming about Korea, etc etc etc) but there is something magical about retrowave because it’s soothing, nostalgic and it puts me in the right zone for working.

HOWEVER.

I accidentally began to associate this with Drew. I guess it’s natural since she was always with me while I was working, and I’d say things to her like, “OMG IT’S OUR JAM!” and try to make her dance lol.

Some of this stuff hits on a very emotional level to begin with – it itches the nostalgic side of my brain, you know? But, after she died, all of it became like that to me and I have not been able to listen to any of it since then. Which is sad because this was my happy place during the work week. Now, I’ve been struggling to find something else. Norwegian pop. Russian pop. Afrobeats. Romanian Club Hits.

But nothing hits like retrowave.

Then a few months ago, I saw that Ollie Wride was coming to PITTSBURGH on his US tour. Ollie Wride is one of the PRESTIGE singers in this genre. His voice sounds like he’s soundtracked the 80s high school coming-of-age movie from your dreams. He did a song with FM 84 several years ago and that song is basically at the top of the retrowave leaderboard of my heart. Probably the one I have listened to the most, and the first time that I really stopped and started looking more into these singers and bands. I found a version that was recording for a livestream during COVID and at that moment, I swore that I had to see Ollie Wride live if ever presented with the opportunity:

Please watch this and tell me it doesn’t plant you firmly into a pair of Jellies during the spring of 1987.

When I hear this song now though, I imagine Drew here with me, sitting on my work laptop because she liked the warmth. I am so broken over this, just the most pathetic sad sack.

Anyway, my likeminded retrowave friends Shawn and Jess were down to join us at this show so I felt good about it, like this could be a healthy step in the healing process. It’s either face it head-on or keep sitting here crying alone like a fucking maniac.

Shawn and I were dying because the show was held at the Crafthouse, which is a small venue across the street from a bar we used to be regulars at back in the early 00s, plus we were best concert buds back then too so this was such a fun “reliving our youth” moment.

And so, on Sunday evening, Henry and I arrived at the Crafthouse a bit before doors opened because we wanted to secure a good table. However, due to technical issues, the doors were delayed by about 45 minutes. We stood outside with a handful of other early birds and chatted about retrowave, darkwave and then bands I didn’t care about and then A LOT of stuff about the college where three of the people work and that stuff bored me so I lulled off into a happy place in my head – j/k the place in my head was where I retreat so that I can scream into a psychic pillow and start thinking about all the ways my life is being inconvenienced by things not starting on time. This is…who I am, you guys. I am working on it, and will probably talk about it tomorrow in therapy lol.

I do want to put out these things for remembering though:

• one of the guys mentioned Kraftwerk so I RAISED MY HAND and said, “My doorbell plays a Kraftwerk song.” Henry said later, “Yeah, I knew that was coming.”
• someone mentioned king gizzard and the lizard wizard and Henry and I chuckled to ourselves because Chooch likes that band too.
• I got to give The Black Queen a much-deserved promotion and was actually surprised that these guys hadn’t heard of them and simultaneously shocked that I wasn’t mansplained or talked over. The one guy even showed me his phone later and said, “Is this them? Cool, I’m adding them now – thanks!”

Anyway, we finally got to go inside around 6:20. We were in the third group that went in but there were VIPs who were already inside so all the good tables were taken. Then I was like, “NOPE” when we chose a table and a group with A BABY sat down at the next one. I just didn’t want to sit next to a baby, maybe I’M A MONSTER. So, we switched tables and it was much better.

I was excited to drink IPAs, who am I.

We were the coolest table in the house, except for maybe the one table that had a guy wearing a fitted leather jacket with SYNTH RIDER spelled out in studs on the back. I told Henry to get out the Bedazzler and do that to my pleather jacket.

I dunno what to say about my dumb pose other than I had two beers at this point and that is so many beers for me.

Henry went to the bathroom at one point and when he came back, I said I had to go too and asked him where it was. He told me and then said, “And say hello to your friend Bethany on the way there. She’s leaning against the wall.”

“Bethany??” I asked.

“Yeah, she said to me ‘your Erin’s husband Henry, aren’t you?’ and said she recognized me from Instagram.” That’s Henry’s most favorite thing to hear, btw. “Erin’s Instagram.” “Erin’s blog.” LOL.

Anyway, it was my friend Bethany from Balloon Ride Fantasy! I haven’t seen her since pre-pandemic when we met up for Korean food at Nakwon Garden (she used to live in Korea years ago as an English teacher!). She was there for the second opener, Vacances and came over to sit with us for a bit before Ollie Wride and it was so nice to catch up with her!

Speaking of openers, I’m not used to this because kpop concerts don’t have openers and it’s actually…nice lol. But that night, there were two and the other was Caleb Kopta. It was OK. I made eye contact with him a few times and tried to brag that we imprinted.  Henry was like, “That’s nice.” I did really like Vacances though and would be up to see them again since they’re local!

And then it was time for OLLIE WRIDE. “Sorry, Henry,” I said as I bolted for the floor by the stage. Jess quickly joined me and it was so nice to have a friend at a show with me! (Sorry again, Henry lol.)

I just want to say that Ollie Wride’s live vocals are immaculate. The high notes were done HIT, y’all. Sheesh. And the energy he brought onto that stage with him.

This jacket didn’t stay on long!

These pictures are so awkward because I was snapping them while recording but what can you do?! It was also amazing to be AT THE FRONT OF THE STAGE like in my other lifetime of going to shows. I’m always like, “no it’s fine, I don’t mind being back far” but then the show starts and I’m like SEE YA and I run to the front. It’s the FOMO in me, I’m a true Leo. And also not cool enough to just casually slink against a wall in the back and watch while texting. I can’t pull off that amount of effortlessly cool.

I don’t have the set list but I can tell you that he performed Back To Life and that was the first time during the night when I thought to myself, “Am I going to be OK? I’m OK…right?” I mean, I was screaming along and doing when Henry called my “happy sort of dance thing” because apparently, he was spying on me from the table like a creeper. And I can tell you for certain that I was very happy that night. Henry wasn’t being dumb, we had good beer, I was with two of my amazing friends, saw another friend….talked to strangers, even! If I can only make this a habit, maybe I’d feel less lonely on every other day.

Earlier in the night, I had made an offhanded remark about how I’m not outgoing and Jess stopped me.

“Yes, you are,” she said firmly.

“No, I’m not really,” I said, face scrunched.

“You are definitely outgoing, come on!” she argued. And you know what? I am fucking outgoing. I just let situations and people stifle me and I think it’s because I’m just too tired to fight it. But Jess is right, at my core, I am an extrovert and I am going to work on making that dominant trait again. (I’m also very obnoxious too which goes hand-in-hand with me being an extrovert so toning that down is a bridge I’ll cross when I get to it I guess.)

OK, the last song was, of course, Running In the Night which is when I did fully break. This fucking song.

I would have paid so much more just to hear this one song. But the entire night was so sublime. He performed Victoria too! And his band was incredible to watch, too. This night. Man.

We rejoined Henry at our table afterward. Most of the crowd had cleared out but we stayed and chatted some more, no one in any hurry to leave.

“Hey, there’s Ollie!” Shawn pointed over my shoulder, where Ollie was one table away with a tiny group of people. “He’s signing stuff! Go ask him to sign your record!” he urged. I didn’t even hesitate. I grabbed my record, purchased as soon as we arrived because I do not wait for merch, and waited my turn.

“What’s your name?” Ollie asked me when it was my turn.

“Erin,” I said, and then, “Can I tell you something weird?”

“Sure!” he said as he was signing my record.

“I associate your music with my cat,” I started, to which he said, “Oh, I have animals, too.”

“She died.”

He stopped signing.

“And tonight was really healing for me. Thank you,” I said as I was on the verge of tears all over again.

And he fucking hugged me.

“You got an Ollie Wride hug!” Shawn squealed (lol) when I came back to the table! And apparently, I hadn’t stopped recording after the last song, so there is a 20 minute long video of the ceiling of the Crafthouse with us chatting post-show. Sadly, I was a bit out of range for my phone to pick up my convo with Ollie but you can hear a hushed, “Aw!” from my table when he hugged me.

Unfortunately, you can also hear how fucking annoying I am talking about kpop scandals for 10 minutes straight but whatever – I’ll be keeping that ceiling rafter video for posterity!

I know everyone is so sick of hearing my cry and lament about my dead cat but I am really trying here. Tonight was a big step for me. I feel so emotional but in a good way because not only did I get to spend time with good friends, but I got to catch up with Bethany and also experience the fantastic Ollie Wride as the cherry on top. I’m really glad I didn’t pass this up. When I saw ten tour announcement last summer, I was scared because of what retro wave has become to me, but – safety in numbers. And I needed to rip the Band-Aid off so I can eventually go back to enjoying this amazing genre of music that used to be such a comfort to me.

And then maybe this can happen:

OK BYE I’M CRYING LOL.

I stayed up until midnight for G-Dragon’s new album drop – there are two MVs and I am fucking dead. “Drama” – are you fucking kidding, Jiyong? Chills, goosebumps, feels, etc etc. I am feeling this in MY BLOODSTREAM. “Untitled 2025” for real.

AND THEN THIS BANGER?! Anderson . Paak AND Karina?? Karina who once got to dance with Taemin and now GD? But also Karina who is a brilliant idol in her own right?! I can’t believe this. We have waited so long for Korea’s King to return and it was worth it, he delivered, he has STILL GOT IT. No one does it like G-Dragon.

HOW AM I GOING TO SLEEP NOW!!!????

I am still collecting my thoughts on the Taemin concert so I can spew them all over this page like pea soup from Regan’s mouth but I wanted to post this picture that Henry took of me pre-concert in our hotel room with the Chicago Theater behind me because I never want to forget how I felt in that moment: the pre-concert jitters but also pure happiness and that has been such a rare feeling for me lately. I mean, look at all the whining I do here weekly – you know!

But sheesh – not only did it feel so good to be out and about after being sick, but I just FELT good too. I wasn’t worried about how I looked. I wasn’t depriving myself of food that day. I had some beer! I was..living. To put it bluntly. Living.

It was so cold that night in Chicago but I felt sincerely warm.

I still can’t believe we saw THEE 이 태민. Grateful for the opportunity and privilege to make the trek to Chicago for this beautiful, special, majestic night under the same roof as the most ethereal dancer and angelic singer I have ever known in my lifetime

I am so obsessed with this. I am so glad G-Dragon is performing again because similar to the last time we had a dictator stinking up the White House, I am letting myself get lost in kpop delulu land again as a reprieve from all of the doom and extreme panic I feel and no one helps with that more than G-Dragon. Then add in Taeyang and this feels like such cozy comfort and nostalgia.

This song is a classic. I never tire of hearing Taeyang performing this and all these years later I am still so glad that I sold our 2017 Riot Fest tickets for one Taeyang concert ticket. It was worth every penny.

Can we talk about G-Dragon’s wardrobe changes? He looked like such a fucking prince. Of course BTS fans (the insane ones, I realize there are normal ones out there but sadly it’s the crazy ones that are the loudest) said that he looked like he just came in off the street, LOL. OK. Calm down, we know you’re mad that he performed at the same concert as your fave and the GP ate him up more because he’s a living legend.

Anyway, this was a charity concert in Paris benefiting sick children. Katy Perry headlined, and GD and Taeyang were in the middle of the lineup. However, when the concert was edited for the televised replay, the editors moved this performance to the end after seeing how insane the crowd reaction was. It’s really helping me decompress this week but I still am daydreaming hourly about Trump tumbling headfirst down a set of concrete steps while eating a Big Mac, landing with a broken neck  and choking to death while being ignored and stepped on by migrants and minorities of all walks of life trying to enter the unisex bathroom that his wide orange berth is blocking.

Somewhere nearby, Elon Musk melts inside an exploded Cyber Truck.

Fuck you, both.

G-Dragon for President.

Happy random Monday in January. I have been obsessed with the BooSeokSoon comeback since last week and that has been keeping me properly infected with joy during these cold, gray days.

In case anyone is actually reading this and cares, BooSeokSoon (BSS) is a sub-unit of Seventeen – Boo Seungkwan, Lee Seokmin (DK), and Kwon Soonyoung (Hoshi). They are basically the nation’s cheerleaders if we’re being honest. One of their older songs, Fighting, was the official song that played for Team Korea during the last Summer Olympics. It’s like THAT.

They’ve been making the rounds on all of the music shows but so far this one is my favorite because I love Seungkwan’s weird little yodel in the beginning lol:

Hopefully this cheers you up if you were having a bad day!

And in case you were wondering Henry’s stance on BSS, he stans. So, I bought him a BSS hat for Christmas :)

Wow. Pop off, Kpop Dad.

Henry actually likes Seventeen in general so much that he has rejected my invitation to start stanning Enhypen and Zerobaseone. He’s a devoted Carat and sends me Seventeen reels all day long.

Anyway, that’s all I have for today, a gross Monday in January that started off with an 8AM dentist appointment, UGH what was I thinking when I scheduled that?? Less than an hour after I walked home, I looked out the window and it was a white-out out there so I’m really glad I didn’t get caught in that, sheesh.

OK let’s put a fork in this Jingle Ball series – it’s been exactly two weeks since we were there at this point! I just want to say that I was extremely comforted by the amount of NCT lightsticks (and even some Monsta X ones!) that were dotting the crowd. I had been so nervous about attending a mostly non-Kpop concert, wondering what the fans were going to be like, if there would be assholes around me mocking the Kpop performers in the line-up. I can’t speak for the rest of the arena, but at least in our section we seemed to be buffeted by lots of Kpop stans. Some arrogant looking white men as well, but I didn’t hear anything derogatory from their mouths polluting the air.

YOU GUYS, MOTHERFUCKING WONHO. While I have always liked Monsta X and was gutted when Wonho stepped away in order to protect the group’s name when he was being investigated for some bogus drug allegation (spoiler: he was cleared, but now without a group), I truly think that Wonho absolutely shines as a solo artist. I can say without hesitation that I stan him harder as a soloist than I ever stanned Monsta X. He is talented, has a great personality, and more than enough charisma to hold his own out there.

I still remember the EXACT MOMENT I heard his single “Losing You” – it was in August 2020 when we dared to take a safe, masked day trip to Erie. This song came on the kpop Spotify playlist we had on in the car and I spontaneously burst into tears. I had to immediately look to see who it was and have been a Wonho solo stan (a Wenee!) ever since.

I knew he likely wouldn’t perform this at Jingle Ball because it’s kind of a downer lol, but he did sing my second favorite – Ain’t About You – and I was soooo stoked!

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You guys, I was SWEATING. It was worth every penny to get to see Wonho in the flesh, perform 4 songs. Take me back! And apparently, he was QUITE popular with the I Heart Radio people too as evidenced by the extra love he was given on their Instagram, lol. They are STILL posting about him!

NCT Dream was fourth, and I was READY! Especially after that juicy Wonho appetizer! (That was gross, apologies.)

Oh, my faves. My 7Dream. Renjun is BACK. It was so sad to see them perform on their Dreamscape tour last September without him, and to be honest, since he came back from hiatus last month, I have been very skeptical of his health and have watched him like a hawk because I’m a psycho kpop mom, I dunno, it’s weird but I genuinely care about him and his lack of stability and well-being has been so troublesome. He looked, to me, not ready to be back but by the time Jingle Ball rolled around, he….OK he still appeared to be somewhat of a shell of himself but getting better. And now that they’re back in Korea, he’s been looking even more himself and less like a zombie. I don’t know if he’s on medication, something for anxiety, or what, but in some of the videos I watched from the European leg of their tour after the US one, he looked like he was going off of muscle memory and kind of just stood there in between songs.

Which is why I wish people would be mindful of the fact that music artists and celebrities are people too and just because you CAN say hateful things about them on the Internet, doesn’t mean you SHOULD. Particularly with Kpop artists, a large part of their job requires them to regularly interact with fans on social media platforms, fan meets, fan calls, etc. Words fucking matter. And these agencies do fuck all to actually protect their artists from this fucked up abuse and bullying.

It enrages me, honestly.

But yeah, I screamed the loudest for his parts. Renjun forever.

I could listen to the last 20 seconds of this song over and over and over – you can ask Henry. I will SHUSH him with vigor if he deigns to speak over this part.

Also, I was so excited to see them perform their new song, which came out after I saw them in September!

The other night, Janna gave me a heads up that some of the Jingle Ball performances were being televised on ABC and she recorded NCT Dream for me on her phone, lol. I did find it on YouTube though! This must have been from the LA show:

I felt so good after this. Yes, it was only 4 songs – was it ridiculous to drive to Detroit for 4 songs? Nope. Worth every single penny. Because in addition to Jingle Ball, we just genuinely had a really good time away together. It was like a reset. I have been so far from myself this past year, and even worse after Drew died, that it was driving a wedge between Henry and me. Like, congratulations, you finally got married after 23 years, but now here’s all this uncontrollable stress and grief for you to wade through. Good luck, newlyweds!

Therapy, kpop, and Henry’s unwavering patience have been getting me through this, so while the Jingle Ball might seem like the antithesis of everything I stand for (American Top 40 is mostly a no for me, fam!), this ended up being a pivotal moment in my journey to getting better. Thank you, Wonho. Thank you, NCT Dream. Thank you, Henry.

You guys. I never thought I would say this, as someone who was so firmly mired in the post-hardcore / Warped Tour / goth scene for so many years, but Henry and I attended the IHeartRadio Jingle Ball in Detroit and had a fantastic time!

Granted, we only went because not only was NCT Dream performing with Renjun who has returned from hiatus (he sat out the US tour they recently did in September and he is my Dream bias, so I was bummed about that) but Wonho, formerly of Monsta X and currently a fabulous solo artist was also going to be there! His first time in the US without Monsta X! Henry knew before I even told him that we were going to be attending our first Jingle Ball because of this.

Aside from Jason Derulo, I didn’t know any of the western artists on the Detroit line up (the line up varies by cities and we very luckily dodged a MEGHAN TRAINOR bullet, as she is appearing at several of the dates) but I didn’t care. I figured we’d stay for Wonho and NCT Dream and then leave.

But then, we were having such a good time, our seats were fantastic, there were no apparent dickheads around us, so I decided that we should stay for the whole thing. We paid enough $$$ for the seats, and if we left early, we’d probably just end up sitting in the hotel room watching Friends reruns.

I will write about Wonho and NCT Dream separately. In this post, I want to just talk about the other artists and how, while a bit of a culture shock to see western pop artists perform (LOL culture shock like I’m not actually American, I’m so fucking annoying even to myself, don’t worry guys – we share the same opinion about this blogger).

The lineup, in order from opening to headliner:

1. Isabel LaRosa
2. Wonho <3
3. Madison Beer
4. NCT Dream <3
5. Jason Derulo
6. Saweetie
7. Teddy Swims
8. Jack Harlow

First of all, the show stared PROMPTLY at 7:30. It was actually borderline jarring because the lights went out and then Isabel walked on stage to the backdrop of thumping bass. I thought this would be like K-Con where there’d be an MC or something that came out first to do their spiel. They did in fact have the local Top 40 radio DJs there, but they came out after Isabel’s set, which…I honestly thoroughly enjoyed. It was definitely giving “sex scene in a student-made horror film that we would have rented from Incredibly Strange Video circa 2002”, that is to say: SEEDY, SLEAZY, CREEPY.

At one point, her hockey jersey came off and she performed the rest of her 4 song set in just a tiny bra and shorts. It was something.

She has a song about “wanting someone older” and the music video for it played on the screen behind her. It of course showed her at a school and her costar was A TEACHER.

“It’s your favorite trope,” I shouted in Henry’s ear and he frowned so hard. He hated all the inappropriate, statutory rapey relationships that peppered the TV series Pretty Little Liars, which we used to watch together, particularly a main story line that involved one of the Liars and her ENGLISH TEACHER. Hooo boy, did that boil Henry’s blood, lol.

(Speaking of, the English teacher was recently in a Netflix Christmas movie with Lindsay Lohan and his girlfriend in that movie was also much younger and there were some “jokes” about that which made Henry frown in disappointment all over again haha.)

Also, I really liked that it was just her and her guitarist on stage. It was minimalistic and somehow still so loud and unnerving.

The more I thought about in the days after Jingle Ball, the more I realized how much I liked this (???) and that it sort of reminded me of the metal-adjacent female-fronted stuff I used to listen to in the early 00s.

Then came Madison Beer after Wonho. I knew A LITTLE about her, like the fact that Justin Bieber made her go viral when she was just 13 and he reposted a video of her singing. And that she was one of the voices for some League of Legends virtual group called K/DA, along with some other broad and two of the (G)-Idle members. So, she’s played a minor role in the kpop realm!

I was SHOCKED by her though because she clearly can SANG and her voice actually had somewhat of an old-fashioned sound to it that I truly appreciated because I’m so tired of these pop girls singing in their fake breathy baby voices a la Halsey.

Did she make me uncomfortable at times? Oh, you know it. Her performance was also sexually-charged but I guess that’s just always been the nature of American pop and I’m so out of the loop that it was like sugar shock.

I guess this song was nominated for a Grammy. I REALLY liked it live, but then later when I watched the video, I didn’t like it as much. But it really works so well as a live performance – I had never heard the song before but when it started, I was fully invested and borderline obsessed. It was dark and thumpy.

I do really appreciate the Jennifer’s Body theme of the music video though, and Jesus Christ she could be Megan Fox’s sister, seriously.

I don’t think Jason Derulo needs any intro! I was seriously shocked that he wasn’t headlining though, because out of everyone, he’s been around the longest and is arguably the most well-known. His set was really energetic and dance-y, and he did a medley of some of his most popular songs too since everyone was really only allotted enough time  to perform 4 songs – he found the loophole lol.

It was during this set though when it occurred to me that it really felt like being in a giant strip club – all of the performances so far (with the exception of NCT Dream, but also even Wonho to an extent lol) were just like living, gyrating, pelvic thrusting billboards for SEX! SEX! SEX! and the only thing missing was poles, honestly. It was entertaining but I think I am officially of the age where I was thankful I didn’t have a young kid in attendance with me.

I’m pretty sure a large portion of the crowd left after Jason.

Then came Saweetie. I didn’t take any pictures of her and my review will be short & s(a)weet(ie):

She is SO BEAUTIFUL. She looked amazing in her adorable little Christmas outfit.

Her DJ was repetitive and annoying.

I guess this is what girl rap sounds like now? Sort of….not rapping, no flow? I was bored with her set (when she was pretending to straddle and ride an imaginary “Big big Santa” was pretty fun though haha) – I grew up on DaBrat and Foxxy Brown so that’s my bar, I guess. Again, just basing this on what I saw that night – I haven’t listened to her in any other context aside from the song she did with IVE last year (which is the only reason I even know who she is).

Teddy Swims was really good but I could never sit through an entire concert of his, I don’t think. All of his songs blended together and I couldn’t stop laughing because he reminded me so much of Christina.

Also, and this pains me to admit but I said it out loud later that night when we were walking back to the hotel, but I still think that the best male singer in North America, maybe even all of the western world, is fucking Jonny Craig. UGH. This Teddy Swims guy has A Voice, but he’s no Jonny Craig. It’s sad because if Jonny hadn’t made such poor life decisions, he could be a household name at this point and not still playing at tiny hole in the wall clubs in his 40s.

But yeah, enjoyed Teddy Swims more than I expected (when I looked up him prior to this and saw the genres he was known for, I scoffed, “YEAH NO I’M NOT GONNA LIKE THIS DOUCHEBAG.”) and at least I can admit this!?

Jack Harlow – whose name I knew but knew nothing else – was the last to perform. He came strutting out on stage alone in chinos and a fucking fitted black sweater like he just left his cubicle in the IT Dept. And then he started….rapping? Is that what that was? I have no idea but all I could think was, “Who the fuck is this white nerd?” You guys, I didn’t like him at all. Henry didn’t either. We were both pulling stank-face until I threw in the towel after two….songs? Whatever you want to call it. I turned to Henry and said, “Yeah, I’m ready to go if you are” and he was like, “TWIST MY ARM” as he practically pushed me out of my seat and into the aisle in his eagerness to never have to hear Jack Harlow again.

(When we were walking up the steps to leave our section, Jack was in the middle of talking to the audience and even that was getting on my nerves. “Oh boy and he’s a talker,” I mumbled and Henry made the “Pffft” sound in agreement with me because Henry always agrees with me unless I‘m pulling a runner at the eye doctor and then suddenly he’s dying on the Bittel Vision hill.)

We had a pleasant walk back to the hotel – there were cops at every intersection so we felt safe to be walking the several blocks back rather than take the hotel shuttle which Henry asked SO MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT at the hotel for us to just not bother using it lololol. Then we hit up the vending machines before going back to the room and I was SHOCKED that there was nary a Faygo in sight. Detroit!!

Oh, we also walked around the casino a few times because I thought I had seen a sign for gelato in one of our earlier strolls and it made me laugh that we had made at least 4 laps around the whole casino throughout the day and didn’t even consider to pull a lever on a machine. My brother Ryan, a huge Vegas aficionado, would have SHUDDERED TO THINK.

Seven years ago today, I woke up and looked at my phone as is the A.M. tradition for all of us in the 21st century. The first thing I saw was a news alert from Korean media saying that Jonghyun of SHINee had been found unresponsive in his apartment and rushed to the hospital. I remember thinking that no, this was wrong. It must be someone else. But as I got ready for work, I continued to check my phone until the news eventually broke that he had died.

I still feel the same way about this as I did that morning. Sick. Gutted. Devastated. This was the one celebrity death that really took me out and continues to upset me. Knowing that he felt that he had nothing else to give, couldn’t hold any longer while being the source of happiness for millions of people. Depression is such a silent killer – on some levels, I have felt similarly and knowing that he felt this way and worse breaks me. He was such a talented and bright light for so many people – I wish that could have provided him the hope that he needed.

Today always serves as a reminder to me to just be nice. Ask your friends and family how they are doing. Take time out of your day to really listen. You never know who around you are quietly suffering inside. <3

Mark Lee from my fave NCT just released another solo today with the AMAZING Lee YoungJi. It has killed me dead. Mark is so underrated and should be a universal household name.

But yeah honestly can you guys let him rest, SM? He just finished an international tour with NCT Dream, got literally mobbed in NYC, flew back to Korea in time to perform at the end of the year shows, is going to be recording another NCT Dream album, has an NCT127 tour in March…and this is just what I know off the top of my head, I’m not his freaking manager.

But maybe I should be.

I spent a large portion of Friday sobbing. Life in general. The Bambi-sized hole in my heart. Stupid things setting me off. Extremely thin skin – I was told that something I asked to be done at work was silly and I know I shouldn’t have let that bother me because the person likely didn’t mean it that way but it legit ruined my entire day because this is where I am in life – feeling like idiot garbage on the daily. All of these things are making it so hard for me just breathe. But then I woke up and immediately checked my phone because I knew that G-Dragon (and Taeyang and Daesung!) were supposed to perform at the second night of MAMA 2024. The livestream had started last night around 11pm and we watched the red carpet stuff but then I threw in the towel because it was almost 12:30am and I was drunk off one and a half Belgian beers, I am so pathetic.

I LITERALLY CANT HANDLE THIS DID THEY COME BACK RIGHT WHEN I NEEDED THEM THE MOST??? YES YES THEY DID. MY FUCKING HEART. IM STILL CRYING BUT WHAT ELSE IS NEW. (Also Hoshi looking awestruck and happy in the audience!!!)

BIGBANG was such a huge part of the healing process for me when my aunt Sharon died, we lost my grandparents’ house, and Trump was elected for the first time – all of these things happened in the same year and then BIGBANG seriously saved me from one of the deepest, darkest pits of depression I’ve even been in. Music has always been my savior but this time it really hit differently because it inspired me to change my entire way of life and I have yet to look back. All of the adversities that BIGBANG have faced in the meantime has been so hard to watch as a VIP so to see the three remaining members get on that huge stage again and to see all of the idols in the audience being in awe and dancing, ugh, I loved to see it. (And again – especially Hoshi!!!)

Also! Seventeen walked away with 5 awards, including best artist and album and I was crying so hard over that, that my stomach hurt. And their performance was immaculate too. This was the first time since, well, BIGBANG last performed there that I actually 1. looked forward to MAMA, and 2. enjoyed it!

G-Dragon also won the Visionary Artist award, even after performing A MAMA DISS TRACK ON MAMA. He is the fucking GOAT.

I’m really emotional. I don’t know how to not care about this stuff. But I really fucking love it.

P.S. Henry is in the middle of re-hanging all of Chooch’s pictures on the Chooch Shrine Wall (we repainted it and I took that time to reorg the pictures since they were previously just tossed up there willy-nilly) and I got a brief video of him dancing to Seventeen’s Ash performance at MAMA.

P.P.S. Henry just screamed, “OW I have another pain in my back! I get one every time I think about those Stray Kids tickets.”

P.P.S. That’s because I thought I was using Paypal Credit but instead it was charged straight to our bank account, LOLOLOL oops. We’ll be eating canned beans and, I dunno, offbrand something or other for the next several weeks. It’s cool though! Because Stray Kids, lol.

OK I have put this off for nearly two weeks now, but on Tuesday, October 22, 2024, Henry and I drove to Chicago (Rosemont, specifically) to see night 1 of the Seventeen US Tour.

I was popping off internally. Not that the rest of the groups I stan don’t mean as much to me, but SVT….hits different. And of course, there is that connection that I fabricated between them and my cat, Bambi. So when she died, it catapulted them up in the love bracket inside my heart (Henry continuously gets knocked down, haha). I knew that the emotions were going to be strong with this one.

We stayed about 20 minutes away from Allstate Arena this time so we have to drive and park there which was annoying because we always stay in a hotel right across from the arena but this time there was an issue where Henry accidentally booked two nights and when he tried to call  them and get rid of one of the nights, they said NO so he had to cancel the entire reservation. Look, I don’t work in the hotel industry but that seemed really stupid to me. It was about 4:30 by this point, and I was getting so worked up seeing all the Carats roaming around the hotel parking lot and lobby so I said, “LET’S GOOOOOOOOO.” There was early merch going on so I thought it would be a good idea to get that out of the way, because when we went to see ATEEZ, THEY SOLD OLD OF MERCH by the end of the night and I had to buy my shirt from Amazon (it seemed legit though!).

This is how we came to stand in a line outside of the arena for over an hour, Carat-watching, collecting free stuff (I usually don’t go early to these concerts anymore so I miss out on all the freebies!), and just being generally giddy (well, one of us was). Carats are special people, you guys. Legit the only toxic fandom I have encountered to date has been BTS Army. But being around 10,000s of Carats in this weird stage of still-grieving-my-cat/bff was beyond soothing. I can’t explain it. But seeing all the people dressed up in outfits from various music videos, hearing the two Carats behind me go from strangers to friends by the time we made it to the merch truck (Miriam and Catherine – they talked for an entire hour before finally introducing themselves and I was dying), hearing Carats cheering on people doing dance challenges in the parking lot—it healed parts of me in ways that time and therapy can’t.

These girls were walking around with Joshua and (now I can’t remember who else they had) cardboard cutouts for photo ops. I wanted Henry to get his picture taken with them but he STAUNCHLY refused.

I did get him to hold the banner though.

Here’s Henry pairing my lightstick, lol. If you have never been to a kpop concert, every group has their lightstick and you can pair it to bluetooth once you get to the venue so that it will coordinate with the music. You have to put in your actual seat # too. I don’t always have the patience to do this but Henry handled it for me this time :)

(I heard Taylor Swift does something similar now after finding out that Kpop is like this, and that’s gross to me but if she can swing the vote in Kamala’s favor, I will never say another disparaging thing about her Napoleon Dynamite twinning or boring music.)

My favorite part of the day was when we got all the way to the front of the merch line only to find out that 90% of everything was SOLD OUT. Every single t-shirt, hoodie, etc. GONE. They only had little accessories left, things I would never buy. I just wanted a shirt. When I got up there, the lady apologized and said that everything was going to be restocked at the merch booths inside, which, OK cool, but honestly they couldn’t send anyone around to make this announcement to the people standing in line? That line went back even FARTHER at this point from where it ended when we got there but OK just let those people stand there for hours.

So fucked up!

At this point, it was after 6PM so we got in one of the many lines to get inside. The doors were just starting to open but you know how venues, after decades of holding concerts, still can’t figure out an easy and painless entry system. It never fails to be a clusterfuck. But we did get in by 6:45 I would say. It was really windy the whole time we were in that parking lot, and I hadn’t realized just how close it is to the airport until I saw REALLY LOW planes passing over the arena on their way to landing, and I started having all kinds of disaster thoughts.

OK OK OK, let’s speed this up: we got inside the venue, which is way too small for Kpop concerts IMO, it’s a crowd-crush sitch waiting to happen in those walkways.

Found our seats first:

They weren’t great – we were in the 200s section because literally it was all we could get the day the tickets went on sale before the prices doubled. I fucking hate you, Ticketmaster. I just felt grateful that we got seats at all though and didn’t have to try to deal with resellers. I just don’t trust anyone.

After finding our seats, we fought the crowds downstairs and eventually found the end of one of the merch lines. It was outrageous and I was so scared that for the first time ever, I was going to miss the beginning of a concert. But we made it to the table, I got my Rosemont-specific shirt, and we ran back upstairs to our seats. My heart was RACING.

Almost exactly at 7:30, it started and I was SHOOK. The emotions! The excitement! The awe! Seventeen has been a group that I have known since getting into Kpop. They were rookies back then and my fave Kpop dance aerobics channel, SarahKpop, had a few routines to their songs. It’s how I first heard their famously popular (and notorious!) “Aju Nice” and I was so excited to hear it in person!

Bambi’s bias, The 8 / Xu Minghao <3

Obviously, I wish that I could have seen OT13, but Jeonghan has just recently enlisted in mandatory miliary service which I feel like I don’t have to explain anymore now that BTS made the entire world aware of this, and Jun is in China filming a TV show.

I wanted to see them in 2022 when they were in Newark, but we had already registered for Coastin’ by the Ocean in Wildwood and couldn’t swing it. I would take Kpop over coasters any day of the week though, just let that be known.

My bias Seungkwan <3 Jeonghan also shares this status, but after this show, Hoshi is 100% my bias wrecker. Like, 10000%.

Hoshi <3

Minghao <3

The chaos that was their “Oh My!” performance. I love the duality of Kpop groups. I love that they can come out so sultry and edgy, so fierce, then suddenly they’re being their true dorky selves and having a dance off with people dressed as blow-up animals. How can you not love this!? How could anyone not find this entertaining??

(And I’m crying now lol.)

(Janna if you are reading this you better watch this video!!)

The costume people came out again unexpectedly during “God of Music”!

I also have to say that this was BY FAR the loudest Kpop (or any) concert I have ever attended. There were times when it felt like the ecstatic shrieking around me had pierced through my skull and continued to ricochet inside my head like rubber bouncy balls. It was PAINFUL. The most ear-and-head pain I think I have ever experienced and I was legit scared for my life several times, lol. Even Henry was like, “HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT IS HAPPENING.”

For reference, I have been to a BTS concert and this by far exceeded those levels of fanaticism. The girl behind me simultaneously sounded like a Beatles-mania-era teenage girl and also an adult man. I don’t know how she was doing it but her shrill shrieks were morphing into guttural roars and it was concerning. I kept tossing glances over my shoulder because I was curious as to what was going on behind me!

The whole show was one giant highlight reel for me but I have to mention that I walked away with “March” as my new favorite song – previously it had been one of those tracks that I never paid much attention to when it would come on but after seeing them perform it (it was a surprise, too!) something clicked in my brain and I have listened to it on repeat on my walks every day since then.

Henry was bitter that the hiphop group performed Water and not Lalali, cry about it, Henry!

I FUCKING DIED that the performance group (minus Jun) did Lilili Yabbay! (And Rain, which is my favorite song off their latest album, in case you cared to know.)

Henry just asked me how it’s going, recapping this night, and I let my wet eyeballs answer that.

The encore though! I have never seen anyone understand the encore assignment as well as Seventeen does. The crowd engagement! The energy! The unhinged hilarity! My whole fucking face hurt from smiling and laughing – it was everything that I needed to help fill that Bambi-shaped hole in my heart (crying again). And when I’m able to share this experience with someone who also enjoys it, understands it, stans the group (yes, I mean Henry if you can believe that) it makes it even better. We dissected the night on the entire drive back to Pittsburgh the next day and we are still rehashing it! He said his favorite part was the encore and I know you’re thinking, “Yeah, because that meant the concert was almost over and he was stoked on that” but it’s because it seriously is complete pandemonium! SO JOYOUS AND PURE!

Part of their encore is never-ending Aju Nice where every time you think it’s over, the chorus kicks back up and Seungkwan LOVES to go into the crowd and let fans sing the high note, so Carats at the barricade will hold signs that say “Can I Aju Nice??” It is epic and well-known in the Kpop world – they even did this at Glastonbury and Lollapalooza Berlin and the non-kpop fans in the crowd evidently ate it up.

They also did a dance-off during the encore and the energy was so strong. I can’t believe we were there. I can’t believe I got see neverending Aju Nice!!!!

I gotta wrap this up before I start posting videos from the whole entire concert.

SET LIST:

Act 1

VCR

1. Fear
2. Fearless
3. Maestro

MENT

4. Ash
5. Crush (I fucking died)

VCR

Act 2

6. Water (Hip-Hop Unit)
7. Monster (Hip-Hop Unit)
8. Rain (Performance Unit)
9. Lilili Yabbay (Performance Unit)
10. Candy (Vocal Unit)
11. Cheers to Youth (Vocal Unit) – linking the actual MV here because it’s so fucking precious and uplifting

VCR

Act 3

12. Oh My!
13. Snap Shoot
14. GOD OF MUSIC!!

Ment

15. Home

VCR

16. Love, Money, Fame (debut of the English version)

MENT

17. March
18. Super (fucking iconic)

ENCORE

19. Adore U
20. ‘Bout You

MENT

21. Campfire (they made everyone sit for this – but let it be known that Henry was already sitting because he never stood once until it was time to leave #old)
22. NEVERENDING VERY NICE!
23. Hit (extended)
24. CALL CALL CALL!
25. Snap Shoot (extended)
26. Holiday (extended)

This entire nearly 30-minute encore will live – AS THE KIDS SAY – rent free in my head for the rest of my life. I hope that when I’m old and a near-vegetable in a nursing home, this is still playing vividly behind my eyes. I am so forever grateful that I found Kpop that one fateful Xmas Eve 2015.

Now I will live vicariously through the rest of the Carats on Instagram who are attending the rest of the dates on this tour!

I AM SWIMMING IN THE FEELS TODAY, SALLY. Just to hear his voice and see his patented crooked smirk and his STYLE, HIS STYLE!!

This is definitely at the top of the short list of good things in my life this year. KWON JIYONG!!! COMEBACK AFTER SEVEN YEARS!!!

My forever king, #1 ult bias, happy fucking Halloween to me. Goddamn.