Jul 19

A Sappy Friendship Post

Category: nostalgia

There was a girl with whom I had a brief friendship in 1995.  Her name was Jessy and she was taken in by the family who lived at the end of the lane. The only thing we really had in common on the surface was that we were both sixteen, but there was an easy comfort when I was with her, and a lot of the times I was sneaking out to go down to her house because I just couldn’t be around my parents anymore. I have vivid memories of dyeing Easter eggs in her kitchen and going to the mall to  buy 2Pac’s “All Eyez on Me” and a pair of purple pants from Contempo that were dangerously close to being bell bottoms.I have no idea what I was thinking.

Then one day she was gone and I never knew why. She wasn’t in school anymore, wasn’t in the house at the end of the lane anymore.

I’m not sure what made me look for her on Facebook, but I found her a few months ago. I sent a friend request with a message that started with, “You probably don’t remember me, but…” I never think anyone remembers me; that’s my inferiority complex rearing it’s gnarly head, I guess.

But she did remember me, and so we started messaging each other. Then we started texting. It took a few months and a lot of rescheduling, but we finally met up last Sunday for lunch at Panera.

She was exactly as I remembered. There is something about her, something very nurturing and maternal, that makes my walls come down. I found that I could speak freely with her, and was admitting things about myself that I would never be so quick to share. Especially with someone I hadn’t seen in fourteen years! I wasn’t even speaking with a stutter, which I often do when hanging out with someone new. But then, I associated calmness with her, because she was sort of my refuge for awhile there when things were bad at home. I’ll never forget that.

“Are you still really clumsy?” she asked. I laughed, but inside, I was really happy that she remembered that about me.

She brought a present with her. She’s been reading my blog (which is the #1 most awesome thing someone can do to prove they give a shit about me!) and picked up on my obsession with my cat Marcy. She found a cutting board that has a Marcy-esque cat on it. It’s the cutest thing!

“Henry can use it,” she laughed, knowing that I don’t cook.

Before we knew it, our Panera lunch  had crept into dinner territory.

I had hoped that this wouldn’t be one of those one-time deals, that we’d make empty promises to hang out again, only to gradually drift apart.

But then she invited me over on Saturday to swim with her and her friend Pixie. I have this phobia where I feel that my friends are embarrassed to have their other friends meet me (Alisha knows!) so right away I was like, “OMG I’m a cool kid now!”

I almost didn’t make it. I didn’t have a bathing suit, and was having the worst time finding a one-piece. The middle of July is a fantastic time to shop for swim wear. I was sending her all of these “I’M GOING TO KILL MYSELF FUCK MY LIFE TODAY SUCKS” texts but she kept coming back with words of reason, plan b’s and c’s and z’s, until finally I calmed down and found something that wasn’t meant for grandmas.

Henry dropped me off at her house, happy that I had a play date that didn’t involve him. And I ended up having a great afternoon in a pool with two cool girls who didn’t make me feel lame or left out. (That is, after I walked into Jessy’s house and promptly tripped going into the living room. And I also entered the pool by basically stumbling and falling off the ladder.) And it turns out her friend Pixie likes A LOT of the same bands as me, like Pierce the Veil, Emarosa and Chiodos. I almost drowned.

When Henry came back to get me, we all stood in the yard and talked while Jessy’s husband Tommy antagonized Chooch. Chooch LOVES IT when grown-ups play with him. LOVES IT.

“You’re family now, babe,” Jessy said, hugging me before I left.

The whole way home, I talked a mile a minute to Henry, like I had just come home from summer camp with eighteen new friends.

Sunday morning, Chooch was like, “I want to go to your friend’s house again and play with her dogs.” And so Henry, Chooch and I spent most of Sunday with Jessy and Tommy at their house and it was pretty much amazing. Henry and I don’t have couple friends! And now he and Tommy are talking about going FISHING together! I can only imagine how much fodder that will give me for Henry’s fake LiveJournal!

Best of all, it was nice to see my kid have so much fun. Tommy rode him around on his quad and set off firecrackers for him. And Jessy and I only nearly let him drown in the pool twice.


Tommy and Chooch, bonding over explosives. (I didn’t bring my camera, because I’m a dummy. iPhone pics for the loss.)

Tommy and Jessy are so fun and welcoming. Apparently, there are plans to put me in a CANOE. If you know me at all, right about now you’re like, “Oh, good luck.”


15 Comments so far

  1. Carrie July 19th, 2010 2:44 pm

    I’m terribly impressed that a friend in Real Life reads your blog in an effort to get to know you. okay, and maybe a little bit jealous. But mostly just happy for you having cool new friends who know how to charm a chooch!

  2. Tuna Tar-Tart July 19th, 2010 6:12 pm

    I am too! Impressed, that is. Most of my current Real Life friends are pretty good about reading it (& Alisha even sometimes comments!) but I’ve had friends in the past that thought it was the dumbest thing ever. I remember a few years ago when I enrolled in school for English writing, Chooch’s godfather was like, “But why? You don’t write.” THANKS, ASSHOLE.

  3. Tuna Tar-Tart July 20th, 2010 6:30 pm

    So, I replied to this and then it got lost because Henry is pretending to know wtf he’s doing with this blog-management bullshit.

    In case you didn’t get my reply, it was something about how that’s such a big thing for me, to hacve Real Life friends care about what I write. The friends I have now are all pretty good about it, but there were a bunch from my past that acted like it was the dumbest thing. Chooch’s godfather was one of them. When he learned I was enrolling in college for English writing, he said, “Why? You don’t write.”

    Thanks, asshole! You know??

  4. Alaina July 19th, 2010 4:16 pm

    Aw, this is so cute! I have always wanted to reconnect with some of my friends from way long ago, but they all live in Alabama where I grew up. That’s so great!

    AND, I love love LOVE the throw back to Contempo. I was obsessed with that store back in the day! I still think I have an old necklace from there..ha, that’s kind of sad…

  5. Alaina July 19th, 2010 9:30 pm

    Aw, this is so cute! I have always wanted to reconnect with some of my friends from way long ago, but they all live in Alabama where I grew up. That’s so great!

    AND, I love love LOVE the throw back to Contempo. I was obsessed with that store back in the day! I still think I have an old necklace from there..ha, that’s kind of sad…

  6. Tuna Tar-Tart July 20th, 2010 6:35 pm

    It’s funny how sometimes it doesn’t matter how much time has passed – two people can still manage to be friends as adults. It made me very happy! I’m super awkward around people I don’t know very well, so I was surprised at how easy it’s been around her!

    Contempo was so great! Then they changed to Wet Seal and got dumb. Or maybe I just got old!

  7. Cori July 19th, 2010 9:58 pm

    Don’t you just love how FB can reconnect you with people from your past! Sounds like you had an amazing visit! Hope you guys can spend more time together!!

  8. Tuna Tar-Tart July 20th, 2010 6:38 pm

    It’s funny how FB can be both the banes of our existence and the best thing ever, simulantaneously!

  9. Jordan July 20th, 2010 9:53 am

    So sappy but thats a great story! A friendship restored, I loved this :) I hope you can continue to be friends!

  10. Tuna Tar-Tart July 20th, 2010 6:38 pm

    Thank you, Jordan! Gotta be sappy every once in awhile to remind people I have a heart:)

  11. Jessi July 21st, 2010 1:10 pm

    I wish I could find my childhood friends online, I’ve been trying but my parents uprooted me enough to make the task quite daunting. Jessy and Tommy sound cool, most Jess-type girls are… Maybe one day we’ll meet them and force you and others in the room to play the Jessi 1, Jessy 2 game.

    Miss you, like a whole bunch… When are we gonna have that phone chat?

  12. Tuna Tar-Tart July 21st, 2010 2:01 pm

    I think you would really like them! They’re both very down to earth and welcoming.

    Any night this week after 10pm should be fine for a chat!

  13. Jessi August 10th, 2010 3:11 pm

    Ugh, I just got this. Sorry :( I’d still love to talk on the phone soon if that’s cool. I really do miss you… (Is that sounding pathetic yet?)

  14. Alyson Hell July 29th, 2010 12:57 pm

    This is really awesome! I hope you get to find out what happened to her long ago.

  15. Tuna Tar-Tart July 29th, 2010 6:50 pm

    I did get to find out, and it unfortunately wasn’t very pleasant reasons. But I’m really glad I found her. We’ve been texting literally every day and I’m finding that she’s so easy to relate to – she’s exactly the kind of person I need in my life!

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