OK let’s put a fork in this Jingle Ball series – it’s been exactly two weeks since we were there at this point! I just want to say that I was extremely comforted by the amount of NCT lightsticks (and even some Monsta X ones!) that were dotting the crowd. I had been so nervous about attending a mostly non-Kpop concert, wondering what the fans were going to be like, if there would be assholes around me mocking the Kpop performers in the line-up. I can’t speak for the rest of the arena, but at least in our section we seemed to be buffeted by lots of Kpop stans. Some arrogant looking white men as well, but I didn’t hear anything derogatory from their mouths polluting the air.

YOU GUYS, MOTHERFUCKING WONHO. While I have always liked Monsta X and was gutted when Wonho stepped away in order to protect the group’s name when he was being investigated for some bogus drug allegation (spoiler: he was cleared, but now without a group), I truly think that Wonho absolutely shines as a solo artist. I can say without hesitation that I stan him harder as a soloist than I ever stanned Monsta X. He is talented, has a great personality, and more than enough charisma to hold his own out there.

I still remember the EXACT MOMENT I heard his single “Losing You” – it was in August 2020 when we dared to take a safe, masked day trip to Erie. This song came on the kpop Spotify playlist we had on in the car and I spontaneously burst into tears. I had to immediately look to see who it was and have been a Wonho solo stan (a Wenee!) ever since.

I knew he likely wouldn’t perform this at Jingle Ball because it’s kind of a downer lol, but he did sing my second favorite – Ain’t About You – and I was soooo stoked!

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You guys, I was SWEATING. It was worth every penny to get to see Wonho in the flesh, perform 4 songs. Take me back! And apparently, he was QUITE popular with the I Heart Radio people too as evidenced by the extra love he was given on their Instagram, lol. They are STILL posting about him!

NCT Dream was fourth, and I was READY! Especially after that juicy Wonho appetizer! (That was gross, apologies.)

Oh, my faves. My 7Dream. Renjun is BACK. It was so sad to see them perform on their Dreamscape tour last September without him, and to be honest, since he came back from hiatus last month, I have been very skeptical of his health and have watched him like a hawk because I’m a psycho kpop mom, I dunno, it’s weird but I genuinely care about him and his lack of stability and well-being has been so troublesome. He looked, to me, not ready to be back but by the time Jingle Ball rolled around, he….OK he still appeared to be somewhat of a shell of himself but getting better. And now that they’re back in Korea, he’s been looking even more himself and less like a zombie. I don’t know if he’s on medication, something for anxiety, or what, but in some of the videos I watched from the European leg of their tour after the US one, he looked like he was going off of muscle memory and kind of just stood there in between songs.

Which is why I wish people would be mindful of the fact that music artists and celebrities are people too and just because you CAN say hateful things about them on the Internet, doesn’t mean you SHOULD. Particularly with Kpop artists, a large part of their job requires them to regularly interact with fans on social media platforms, fan meets, fan calls, etc. Words fucking matter. And these agencies do fuck all to actually protect their artists from this fucked up abuse and bullying.

It enrages me, honestly.

But yeah, I screamed the loudest for his parts. Renjun forever.

I could listen to the last 20 seconds of this song over and over and over – you can ask Henry. I will SHUSH him with vigor if he deigns to speak over this part.

Also, I was so excited to see them perform their new song, which came out after I saw them in September!

The other night, Janna gave me a heads up that some of the Jingle Ball performances were being televised on ABC and she recorded NCT Dream for me on her phone, lol. I did find it on YouTube though! This must have been from the LA show:

I felt so good after this. Yes, it was only 4 songs – was it ridiculous to drive to Detroit for 4 songs? Nope. Worth every single penny. Because in addition to Jingle Ball, we just genuinely had a really good time away together. It was like a reset. I have been so far from myself this past year, and even worse after Drew died, that it was driving a wedge between Henry and me. Like, congratulations, you finally got married after 23 years, but now here’s all this uncontrollable stress and grief for you to wade through. Good luck, newlyweds!

Therapy, kpop, and Henry’s unwavering patience have been getting me through this, so while the Jingle Ball might seem like the antithesis of everything I stand for (American Top 40 is mostly a no for me, fam!), this ended up being a pivotal moment in my journey to getting better. Thank you, Wonho. Thank you, NCT Dream. Thank you, Henry.

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