I spent a large portion of Friday sobbing. Life in general. The Bambi-sized hole in my heart. Stupid things setting me off. Extremely thin skin – I was told that something I asked to be done at work was silly and I know I shouldn’t have let that bother me because the person likely didn’t mean it that way but it legit ruined my entire day because this is where I am in life – feeling like idiot garbage on the daily. All of these things are making it so hard for me just breathe. But then I woke up and immediately checked my phone because I knew that G-Dragon (and Taeyang and Daesung!) were supposed to perform at the second night of MAMA 2024. The livestream had started last night around 11pm and we watched the red carpet stuff but then I threw in the towel because it was almost 12:30am and I was drunk off one and a half Belgian beers, I am so pathetic.

I LITERALLY CANT HANDLE THIS DID THEY COME BACK RIGHT WHEN I NEEDED THEM THE MOST??? YES YES THEY DID. MY FUCKING HEART. IM STILL CRYING BUT WHAT ELSE IS NEW. (Also Hoshi looking awestruck and happy in the audience!!!)

BIGBANG was such a huge part of the healing process for me when my aunt Sharon died, we lost my grandparents’ house, and Trump was elected for the first time – all of these things happened in the same year and then BIGBANG seriously saved me from one of the deepest, darkest pits of depression I’ve even been in. Music has always been my savior but this time it really hit differently because it inspired me to change my entire way of life and I have yet to look back. All of the adversities that BIGBANG have faced in the meantime has been so hard to watch as a VIP so to see the three remaining members get on that huge stage again and to see all of the idols in the audience being in awe and dancing, ugh, I loved to see it. (And again – especially Hoshi!!!)

Also! Seventeen walked away with 5 awards, including best artist and album and I was crying so hard over that, that my stomach hurt. And their performance was immaculate too. This was the first time since, well, BIGBANG last performed there that I actually 1. looked forward to MAMA, and 2. enjoyed it!

G-Dragon also won the Visionary Artist award, even after performing A MAMA DISS TRACK ON MAMA. He is the fucking GOAT.

I’m really emotional. I don’t know how to not care about this stuff. But I really fucking love it.

P.S. Henry is in the middle of re-hanging all of Chooch’s pictures on the Chooch Shrine Wall (we repainted it and I took that time to reorg the pictures since they were previously just tossed up there willy-nilly) and I got a brief video of him dancing to Seventeen’s Ash performance at MAMA.

P.P.S. Henry just screamed, “OW I have another pain in my back! I get one every time I think about those Stray Kids tickets.”

P.P.S. That’s because I thought I was using Paypal Credit but instead it was charged straight to our bank account, LOLOLOL oops. We’ll be eating canned beans and, I dunno, offbrand something or other for the next several weeks. It’s cool though! Because Stray Kids, lol.

 

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