I hated 2024 A LOT a lot. It was full of death, stress, college tuition hardships, mental and emotional breakdowns that had me wishing death upon myself more times than I can count most vividly in a parking garage outside of Chicago where I had the scariest fleeting thoughts of “what if I just jumped?”, all while trying to get comfortable in this new chapter of life where Chooch doesn’t live here anymore. I haven’t felt this out of control since my early 20s. This past year made me lose myself in ways that are terrifying and I have spent the second half of 2024 working through that in therapy but so far I still feel the same.

Yeah, there were good moments but the bad / tragic / traumatic really do overshadow what looks like it could have been one of the best years of my life. I don’t even have the energy to recap those moments so instead here is a picture of me casually blending into a rug and wishing it would just completely engulf me forever. C H E E R S.

I hope 2025 is gentle on all of us.

I’m really grateful that Corey offered to host Christmas Eve at his house this year. We put way too much money, time and effort into the planning of Chingumas 2024 and I think doing Christmas on top of that would have broken us. Granted, Henry still spent most of the day cooking but at least we didn’t have to set up and clean too, etc.

Oh!! I forgot to mention that a fucking HAWK came to hang out in the backyard THREE TIMES during the day. It was so maddening and took up a large part of the day, our amateur efforts to chase the fucker away.

Without hurting it, Chooch was pinging the tree branch with pennies from his window and Henry was trying to distract it with a laser pointer while I was trying to make sure he didn’t set his sights on any of the squirrels who were BLATANTLY frolicking around until they finally realized what was going on.

It’s probably a bad thing (ok it is and I know it) but the squirrels have a Pavlovian response to me and immediately started prancing around me thinking I had peanuts. I was HISSING, “Guys, be careful!!! Do you want to die!??”

Aish!! So annoying and stressful!! But Henry eventually scared it off when he tapped the laser pointer against our car – he could tolerate objects cruising past him in the tree but a TAPPING sound was far too much.

Buhbye motherfucker.

Corey’s famous spinach dip! It’s a running joke because this was all he could handle making when he hosted for the first time two years ago and he was sending me (of all people!) frantic text questions from the grocery store like I have a secret Julia Child gene waiting for that precise moment to present itself.

This time, he texted me the day before because he COULDNT FIND THE ORIGINAL RECIPE HE USED BEFORE! Luckily he found a substitute (they’re pretty much all the same though right??!!).

Apparently our dad gave him a wholesale quantity of paper plates so Corey’s been trying to use them up. Hence, these festive day of the dead plates (why did our dad have these in the first place????)

Everything was great! Henry made a vegan shepherds pie which I admittedly thought was just mid that night but in leftover form, it was fantastic. There was some red wine action going on in it and it was like the gift kept on giving as days went on.

My mom made some savory cornbread-ish casserole which was my favorite thing that night. She also brought her famous potato casserole which I loved since I was a wee one but Chooch was like THERE IS HAM IN THIS SUDDENLY and I said NO U MUST BE MISTAKEN SHE WOULD NEVER and Henry was like I CAN CONFIRM THAT SHE PUT HAM IN THIS.

I was lowkey moody about that.

Corey had this non-alcoholic option on hand for Chooch and kept plying him with it. HAVE MORE PUNCH! he kept saying, popping around corners, from under tables, hanging from the rafters with the bottle in hand. Chooch was like “what is the deal with this punch?!” OK, Uncle Jim Jones!

I was trying to go easy on Henry by suggesting that we just buy a pie to bring but after a few days of frustrating searching, he decided to just make a pie after all. Instead of something fancy and outrageous like I usually throw at him, I said he should hat keep it simple and make a sweet potato pie. As he was scrolling through recipes, I yelled, “Stop! Does that say PATTI LABELLES sweet potato pie?! That’s the one.”

Corey is mildly obsessed with the retro footage of Patti Labelle singing at a Christmas Tree Lighting ceremony in the 90s (I can’t remember what it was specifically but the Clintons were there and it was nationally broadcast, so not some podunk town’s festival or anything). She doesn’t know the words, the cue cards aren’t in the right order, she doesn’t have her backup singers and repeatedly yell-sings, “WHERE MY BACKUP SINGERS” – it’s a mess but soooo funny and she actually handles it pretty well considering. I’d have swan-dived off the stage into a nest of electrical equipment if that happened to me.

I want this to happen to Halsey now.

Anyway, Corey really appreciated this!

Conversation during dinner ebbed and flowed – when Corey and I were telling stories, everyone was laughing, but if Corey and I aren’t talking we’d probably go through the entire meal in silence. I eventually started peppering our brother Ryan with questions about Las Vegas (he goes A LOT and his trips are next level, is all I’m saying) and once you get Ryan talking, all is well.

But it does make me sad. I shouldn’t feel so uncomfortable around my family especially since we were all relatively close when I was growing up, but I just kind of feel that no one really cares about my life, what I do, etc. and you know, it is what it is.

Chooch found an old receipt for a picture that was taken somewhere in the pocket of this coat that I haven’t worn in years – we spent entirely too much time that night fixating on it and googling, but chooch and Henry came to the conclusion that it must have been from Dutch Wonderland when we went there in 2010.

What a seriously lame mystery.

Then me, Corey, Chooch and Henry played … Ugh I forget the name of it but it’s like the commercially packaged version of the lip reading game that Kpop idols always play. Henry and I were a team and we killed it – Henry is obviously really good at reading lips because he can barely hear but I think I’m just naturally good at everything in general, as expected. Just that I was born that way, you know.

Then the three of them played Scattergories. I retired from this game because when you always win at something, it gets old. You probably don’t know what that feels like but trust my word ok.

Apparently, Chooch has learned a lot from me because his answers were so questionable that I had to step in as a judge numerous times. Then Henry went to the bathroom and they didn’t want to wait so I was tapped in as his substitute and immediately blew Corey and Chooch out of the water, you’re welcome for the victory, Henry.

Afterward, Chooch began rifling through old historical answers that were still in the box and he goes, “oh this HAS to be one of yours” as he read off hysterical and alliterational made-up answers.

“No wonder people don’t want to play this with you anymore,” he said. Whoa whoa whoa where did he hear that from?!

(My mom brought a bag of old pictures over from her house and that’s what Ryan was doing in the background while my mom was watching TikTok videos or something probably.)

Apparently Chooch is really into the Seahawks?! When Ryan asked me a few weeks ago what he could get him, I was like “he’s randomly into the Seahawks for some reason” and Ryan was like, “the SEATTLE Seahawks? That is random but ok” and then proceeded to gift him a Seahawks starter set basically lol.

Corey got me this candle (lol) and I got him a “now-playing” sweatshirt with Avril Lavine’s I’m With You on it because that’s another thing he’s obsessed with and he sends me reels about it every now and then (it was more like “very frequently” there for a while lol).

And I got Ryan a set of pint glasses that have the street grid of Las Vegas engraved in it.

Ryan got me a bunch of Erin-centric thing including this balloon dog sculpture which is one of those things that I always say “ooh I want that!” when I see it in online shops but I never buy it for myself. Anyway, I was dying when we came home and put it on the beverage buffet because I realized just how perfectly placed it really is:

And that pretty much wraps up Xmas Eve! It hit me later on that this might be the last Christmas in this form for a while because next year, Chooch will be doing his co-op and he won’t get a traditional Christmas break. Whether he gets just Xmas Day, or also Xmas Eve, etc will be dependent upon the company his co-op will be at. So we might be going to Philly to spend Christmas with him there next year. Who knows.

Ch-ch-ch-changes. I can’t stand it.

The last several years, my brother Corey has been gung-ho about the Kelly sibs recreating old pictures. It sucks for me because Corey was born in 1990, at the height of my UG YEARS, so I look like trash in most of these pictures, but I still go along with it because that’s….that’s just the type of loving, supportive sister that I am!

Last year, I suggested a Santa picture for us to recreate, with Henry as Santa. I think Corey was utterly uncomfortable with the idea of sitting on Henry’s lap, so my suggestion was just kind of glossed over. This year though, Corey was like SHIT WE DIDN’T CHOOSE A PICTURE.

“Hear me out,” I said, which is usually the prelude to something sinister when coming from me. “We use that same Santa one I suggested last year, but CHOOCH will be Santa.”

Corey loved it.

Ryan was like, “I will do whatever you freaks say, just leave me alone for the rest of the year.” I mean, he didn’t say that but it was implied. I’m good at interpreting.

“Just so you know, you’re helping us with this year’s picture,” I said to Chooch earlier in the day on Christmas Eve.

“Yeah I know, I always take the picture,” he said.

“No….I mean, this time—”

“Don’t tell me I have to be Santa or something,” he sighed.

DING DANG DONG!

Here he is getting into the Kris Kringle zone while we were waiting for Ryan who we feared was about to pull a runner when we heard the front door open and close.

The Picture.

“You have to put your hands on my hips!” Corey scream-laughed while Chooch just looked like your typical apathetic 18 year old, like he was about to look at the imaginary TV documentary crew and say, “I came home from college for this.”

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Thank god for the “live” feature on photos because Corey’s laughter was the best part!

We also did this one, which was much easier even though they were originally on the wrong sides of me so we had to do a quick re-do right as Ryan was trying to flee the scene:

Ryan was like, “Jesus, your shoulder is low” lol.

And then a normal one!

Merry Christmas from us dumbos over here in Pittsburgh! It’s definitely been a weird one, not bad by any means, but with Chooch being a college kid now, the unwrapping of presents is kind of anticlimactic. Most of what we got him he’s either already received, it’s in the mail, or I’m just giving him my credit card to get himself after Christmas. He seems fine with it – he’s never been a bratty kid when it comes to things like that (unlike me LOL) and it’s just been nice having him home.

We did the whole Christmas Eve shebang at Corey’s with my mom and brother Ryan, so I’ll recap that here soon too – it was nice and we laughed A LOT.

Today, we went to Pink Box to get our traditional Asian buns, went to Homewood Cemetery where I had a mild fit because there were SO MANY people there strolling about and the spot where it’s most convenient for me to set up my tripod was a veritable hotbed of activity. I was getting snippy about it but it somehow, miracle of miracles, didn’t progress any further from a small, quick spark of irritation. Therapy. LOL.

So, we ended up going to our OG Christmas Cem spot – Uniondale on the Northside. It’s been a minute since we were there (Henry pointed out to Chooch where I wrecked the car in 2022 and blamed on him hahah) and it was nice. Chooch, suddenly into football, was glad because it’s on a hill above Heinz Field (get the fuck outta here with that new name, I refuse) so he was able to hear the Steelers game in person. Suddenly, he was OK with cemetery pictures.

Dude, I just really love my dumb little family and will grasp any opportunity for a family photo!

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I spent a large portion of my last therapy session jawing off about how whack my childhood holidays were from middle school through high school and then even into my early adult years, and how because of that, I have been extra cautious about making sure holidays were normal for Chooch.

Then at the end of the session, she asked if I had any fun plans that weekend and I said, “Yeah, we’re decorating our Christmas tree, which is a mannequin!”

She was like, “omg.”

It just…feels so normal, though!

Janna and Corey came over to “help” by which I mean they sat with me and watched as Henry did 90% of the Trudying while I forced my favorite Belgian beer on them [GULDEN DRAAK, in case you ever need to get me a gift and don’t know (or care to know) how to navigate the world of Kpop merch].

Also, I made them download the link to my PARTY CAMERA so all of the pictures you see here are the cumulation of all three of our POVs.  I’m hoping to use this for Chingumas too but I know it will probably just be us three using it then too because I can never even get my friends to take pictures at my parties in general, let alone downloading a new camera app to use.

I don’t think these pictures are in order for some reason but who cares. All I know is that this was the nicest, funniest, most “normal” night that I have had possibly all year. No exaggeration. It almost felt like the way things used to be before everything started to fall apart this year. I can honestly say that I felt happy.

I mean look – that is the ugly face of laughter! Chooch had probably said something disparaging about Henry at this moment.

A different angle – probably laughing at the same thing!

I also made Corey and Janna watch the GD/BIGBANG performance at the MAMA Awards. I think it’s safe to say that they were not impressed but I was just happy to be watching it for the 87th time! Even Henry stopped what he was doing and loomed in the entry to the living room, watching from a distance like the plain-clothed Michael Myers that he is.

Ugh I hate this game so much but Chooch in was Game Master mode so we had to oblige him.

We all said “absolutely not” when he pulled out Trivial Pursuit.

My fancy Chouffe glass!

Chooch won, and that’s all that matters, I guess. If it can’t be me, it has to be him.

LOL Henry couldn’t use the party camera because he has an ANDROID.

I am clearly very into this glass – I didn’t even realize I took that many pictures of it.

We had Henry take non-party camera pics of us with Trudy.

What even is this lol.

Corey left around 10, Chooch bailed around 10:30 for a better party, and Janna stayed until 1AM learning 9 of the 13 members of Seventeen lol. It was a really solid night. I’m grasping at the fleeting memories of it, trying to hold on as long as possible before “real life” fully creeps back in. Sigh.

You guys, I think I was so excited about having Chooch home from college that I focused too hard on having the “perfect” Thanksgiving and then I ended up being sick-adjacent most of the day (I felt mildly feverish and like I was on the verge of a stomach thing but it never developed into anything). Really, it was supposed to be a laid back Thanksgiving – we got a vegan meal kit from Viridis so that Henry wouldn’t be in the kitchen all day, but then he was STILL in the kitchen all day because he picked that day to make kimchi for Chingumas.

I barely had it in me to even set the table let alone take pictures of it.

The food was underwhelming. I mean, it wasn’t BAD by any means but I guess it was just kind of boring (that mac n cheese was fire though) and the annoying part is that for as expensive as it was, there was no dessert!? Bro, you couldn’t have added a slice of vegan sweet potato pie up in that piece?

We knew this at least so we prepared by buying a boxed mix of bibingka which is a Filipino coconut cake that I made the year we had an international Thanksgiving. About 25 minutes before it was time for dinner, Henry dropped the bibingka cake-down onto the floor as he was pulling it out of the oven, and he burnt his hand on it but instead of me asking if he was OK, I was just like, “Cool now we have no dessert.”

Don’t worry – the box had two packages of mix inside so Henry made the second one. It came out dry and with burnt edges and he was like DON’T START when I opened my mouth to criticize him.

Also, looking at that picture I realized that I didn’t eat a single bite of that salad. Oh well. Ugh.

And since he had burnt his hand, he was in a BAD MOOD and being a total dick so then I got mad and then we were bickering and Chooch was like, “Cool – home sweet home.”

Ugh holidays. I wish we had had enough time (and money) to just go to Dollywood like we have done in the past because that is our happy place – Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge in general – we rarely fight when there! But no, we stayed in Pittsburgh and ate in near-silence (it can never be fully silent with the way Henry eats).

We were begging Chooch to tell us stuff about college but he is SO MYSTERIOUS. All we know is that he loves Drexel, his grades are great, and he already had three good friends that want to room altogether next year. That knowledge was really all we needed to make this salvageable Thanksgiving. Ugh, this year though. This motherfucking year. Having Chooch home is so awesome but it’s also picking the scab off my Bambi wound. She would have been so happy these past couple of days, having him home.

First Thanksgiving without her. In that cat grief book that Corey sent me over the summer, one of the big takeaways for me was the fact that you kind of have to go through every season of mourning, you have to get past all of the “first <whatevers> without the loved one.” This was the first Thanksgiving. The first Xmas will be really gross and unbearable, I’m sure. This really sucks so bad. So bad. It’s almost December and I’m still crying every day. When does it stop hurting.

Obligatory family Thanksgiving photo.

After dinner, Penelope came downstairs and cuddled with me. She knows. I don’t think she really misses her sister, but she knows.

Sorry – this was so negative. It really wasn’t a bad day, just the dinner portion which I don’t really care that much about anyway, and I know that what really matters was that we were all together. The next day / night was so much better so I’m not too mad about things.

Hello from Thanksgiving! It is so weird having Chooch home! I know he has only been away at college since September but it feels so much longer. And just like old times, he didn’t wake up until nearly 1PM and then came downstairs to take up space and complain (OK but mostly because I was trying to make him watch Seventeen videos).

Penelope was rolling around on the floor, playing with her toys, and I effing swear to god she would stop every once in a while and look back at Chooch as if to see if he was watching. It was so cute but I still think she hates him muchly.

Then he went to the Teen Center to interview the lady who runs the place, since she apparently is more interesting than his own mom and makes a better profile subject. Mmmm. He came home long enough to bitch about things and then went to the mall with his friends (and my credit card ughhhh I miss the days of Working Chooch) so Henry and I chilled out with some kpop content and beer. First I tried this Orval Trappist beer because I was convinced that I love monk stuff but this one was NOT GOOD.

“It smells like the pee of a sick person,” I reported as I pushed my glass toward Henry because he is like the sink drain for my beer rejects. Sorry, but I’m not wasting calories on a gross beer??!!

Henry found a Blue Moon in the back of the fridge and thought it would be a good idea to drink that next. Hello, it was probably left over from a party and who knows how old it was. Blue Moon was one of the first and only beers I was able to tolerate back in the day and if we were at a concert or festival and they had it, Henry would always share his with me because I could never drink a full one on my own and we all know how much concert beer costs. Anyway, I went to have a sip and Henry abruptly warned me it tasted bad and tried to stop me. But I was like I WILL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT.

“Ugh!” I grimaced. “It tastes like—”

“Stop! Don’t ruin it,” Henry pleaded.

“–the interior of an old car. Like if you ate an ace bandage.”

“OK great. That’s enough. Thanks.”

LOL, like I was actually done. “It tastes like Camden Park, like if you licked the duct tape holding together one of the rollercoaster seats,” I continued.

I’m pretty sure he dumped it out after that.

I did have one of my Chouffes though and even though it was an IPA, I found it to be quite refreshing and delightful. Even Henry liked it and was waiting for me to split it with him but I said, “Nah, I’ll just drink the whole thing, but thanks.”

😊

(LOL the TV in the background is showing the livestream from Incheon airport where Dispatch was waiting for Seventeen’s arrival and you better believe we sat here and waited with everyone else because we are legit Carats.)

Wait, real time update: I came downstairs and Henry is ROCKING OUT in the kitchen to Seventeen’s “Hot” while making vegan kimchi. Welcome to Thanksgiving at the Kelly-Robbins shanty.

Today has been pretty chill so far (literally) – I went for a walk in the rain this morning which I majorly regerted afterward and will probably be getting sick soon. But other than that, I have just been relaxing (well, after I got my workout in – I’m trying to get back into a fitness routine and of course I chose Thanksgiving week to kickstart that, like a fucking freak), watching some shows on Hulu, adding some Kpop Christmas cards to my Hello Hanguk shop because I am finally feeling a tiny bit creative again after like, years of not.

We got premade vegan Thanksgiving meal kits from Viridis so I’m looking forward to having that tonight. We have never had anything from Viridis before so this was really a shot in the dark but hopefully it’s good? Wish we lived closer to Seitan’s Realm because their T-giving meals looked fire. I love Seitan’s Realm so much.

Um, I guess that’s all! Just trying to use this bitchin’ space for more free-style type of posts because my therapist said that would be good. (Also, I googled “is it unethical to invite therapist to Christmas party” and I’m sure you already know the answer because even I knew the answer even though TV CHARACTERS ARE ALWAYS INVITING THEIR THERAPISTS TO EVENTS but gentle reminder to myself that I am not a TV CHARACTER, just a BROOKLINE ERIN, but anyway – this is how I learned about “transference” and how therapists are required to immediately refer their patients to someone else when that happens. HOW EMBARRASSING.)

Wait one more thing! Henry is back in the kitchen doing cooking things and Stray Kids’ Lose My Breath just came on and I got SO STOKED all over again about seeing them again next year! I told Henry to turn it up and he tried to get Echo to do it but Echo was like, “OK I WILL STOP THE SONG” and then it took him forever to get it to restart so consider the mood killed.

Pasting this from Instagram because I’m lazy.

It’s Halloween aka Feeding Children from the Plastic Pumpkin In Addition to Squirrels aka Erin Pretends to Know How to Interact with Children.

We’ve had two kids so far. One had a toddler sibling waiting in a wagon with the parents so I said to the kid, “Do you want extra candy for your….little….brother….or whatever” and stopped my myself before ending with “that is.”

I predict I’ll get one more customer before the night ends. :/

Speaking of squirrels (the treat beggars I can count on) I was trying to get Buddy to say Trick or Treat when he came to the porch for a walnut earlier and some passerby stopped to watch the interaction and then had a full blown conversation with me from the sidewalk and that is how I died a little today. #strangerdanger

ETA:

-I had tossed in some extra POLLITO ASADO lollipops from @lkfucetola’s farewell fiesta 2 years ago but after handing them out to the first 2 kids, I think they may have been expired plus they felt….wet. So I dug the rest out of the pumpkin don’t worry future trick or treaters.

-I’m tired from handing out to candy to 5 children (A RECORD NUMBER FOR US) and I just saw more kids approaching so I yelled at Henry to come in from the backporch and actually DO SOMETHING and he said, “Sorry, I was trying to eat my dinner out here since I’m not allowed to chew near you.” Just a little glimpse into MARRIED LIFE lol. (It’s the same.)

This holiday is so weird now that I am an empty nester. :/

ANOTHER UPDATE; a group of high school kids were walking on the other side of the street and I stood at the door and made a creepy “come here” hand gesture and they FUCKING SHRIEKED “CANDY!!!” and ran across the street to my house so fast I thought they were going to tackle me lol. Henry rolled his eyes and said, “you’re so needy” to me and he’s also annoyed bc trick or treating ended 30 minutes ago but bitch we broke a record–TWELVE KIDS!!!

Literally. So. Boring.

But, this was by my own design, I guess. I sacrificed going away and doing something fun for the long weekend in favor of choosing the previous weekend for Cedar Point. Not that that weekend ended up being any less crowded, I’m sure! Then, Chooch waited until 6PM on Friday to decide for sure that he was going to visit Julian (his roommate in Mexico!) in DC for the weekend. Julian was in town visiting his dad and asked Chooch WEEKS in advance if he wanted to come down but Chooch being Chooch kept hemming and hawing, I dunno what he was waiting for, so then we ended up having to pay over $200 at the last minute to get him a roundtrip Greyhound (which was delayed bigly there and back) and that pretty decided for us that we do nothing all weekend.

And you know how well I do with doing nothing.

NOT WELL.

Saturday afternoon, we drove out past Elizabeth, PA with the intent of buying flowers at some nursery that we like on 51, but first we went to a cemetery for a walk and I hated the cemetery – it was our first time there, it was small, and packed with Memorial Day revelers. I always forgot that it’s a big grave-visiting weekend.

I threw a body-image-related fit, cried about hating myself, took a picture of the river and some lame town over the edge of the cemetery, and then we left. Henry went the wrong way on 51 so I screamed I GUESS WE’RE NOT GETTING FLOWERS NOW and he was like YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO GO HOME BUT I WILL TURN AROUND and I was like HOW ABOUT I SHOVE A STICK IN YOUR ASS AND THEN YOU CAN TURN AROUND – I was just in A MOOD all fucking day.

Then I declared that I needed lunch and I couldn’t wait until we got home so I made Henry go to Sheetz to get me a veggie wrap and I stayed in the car because NO ONE WAS ALLOWED TO LOOK AT ME. There were three old men chilling at an outside table drinking beer and talking about sledgehammers which was considerably more interesting than my dumb Saturday.

I took this later that night to send to Chooch while he was out doing fun DC things. Not me writhing around, moaning in the key of boredom, with Tokyo Disney food review videos on in the background.

Sunday was a little better – well, to start. I decided to do a 14-day metabolism reset so Henry was like F M L because this means he has to help me since I don’t like cooking. He has been trying to prepare my lunches the night before (breakfasts aren’t too hard for me, if you can believe it) and he has been so stressed about it. Like bro, this is 14 days out of your life and you can still eat your Reeses and soft pretzels in the car like usual.

Side bar to say that it’s been a week and I have lost 4 pounds BUT what I care about the most is that I’m starting to look like my old self again, less bloated, and Henry said I look healthier in general. The stress of 2024 so far has definitely made its mark on me, lol.

Anyway, commercial break over.

I had a much more positive outlook on Sunday. We went to some trail that goes along the river between Butler and Freeport or something, I actually have no clue where we were, and it was a really nice walk. The weather was so good. The bikers were obnoxious as  usual. (I HATE WHEN BIKE AND WALKING TRAILS ARE SHARED.) I called Henry a cunt at least 87 times with so much love, and we had some good talks about Korea, Chooch going to college, Seventeen and Stray Kids alleged upcoming tours. Big talks, you guys. Big talks.

At the beginning of the trail, there was a bulletin board with an ad for a local coffee shop in Freeport and I was like PLEASE CAN WE GO I NEED COFFEE OR I’LL DIE and Henry was like oh no anything to keep you alive, sweetheart bubblebee angel snugs.

Originally, I was going to just wait in the car but then I thought, “Eh, let’s see what vibe this FREEPORT CAFE has.”

Boy-o, let me just say – glad I went in! First of all, I want to say that the baristas were very nice. I’m supposed to be cutting out sugar to the best of my ability (I HAD THREE BUTTERSCOTCH HARD CANDIES THIS WEEK OK? CALL THE FUCKING SUGAR POPO ON ME. CHRIST) so I just got an iced latte with almond milk and no syrups. It was delectable. If you can’t drink a cafe’s coffee/espresso without sugar, then that cafe sucks.

While Henry was waiting for his drink, he went to the bathroom which gave me some time to really absorb the quiet, country atmosphere of this space. And the blue walls! So when Henry came back the bathroom, I was already seated a table. “We’re staying,” I said, and he was like, “Thank god” because all he had on the horizon was yard work and cooking more meals for me. He was quite happy to postpone those festivities.

Ugh.

I’m glad I went in though because if I had asked Henry what it was like inside when he came back to the car, he’d have said something like, “I don’t know, it was like a cafe. It had some tables.”

Also though, they have really great seasonal drinks on rotating so I’m excited to go back next Sunday when my 14 days are up!

Then, later that night, perhaps around 8:30, THE ELECTRICITY WENT OUT. There was a thunderstorm and one of those things exploded or whatever. Henry saw it and hurried up and called his mom and then wrote it in his THINGS I HAVE SEEN log on a page opposite of the list of military planes he has identified in the air.

Anyway, you guys, I was DYING. Literally so BORED. Floundered on the couch like a fish being cooked in sizzling ennui. Inconsolable. Henry was like CALM DOWN and that was just  making it worse. Chooch was sending me updates from DC, eating dinner at Murphy’s Pub, surrounded by the illumination of electricity, watching a band play instruments powered by electricity, etc etc and so on and so forth while I was trying to make objects move with my mind I WAS THAT BORED.

Around 10:00, the electric company truck rolled slowly past our house and I SCREAMED IN JOY, and then my joy swiftly morphed into panic and desperation as I cried HELP US! out the window, causing Henry to beg me to stop/sit down/shut up/other commands commonly utilized by cis white males.

When the electricity didn’t IMMEDIATELY come back on, I started panicking again.

“They have to send the trucks out to find the problems first! Then they will report it and fix it! Calm down!” Henry said, because when you’re born a cis white male, you’re pre-installed with various utility knowledge too without ever having to work for any of those companies.

Finally, around 11:15, after Henry refused to walk down the street where the supposed INCIDENT occurred to see what was going, and after HOURS of obsessively checking the REPORT AN OUTAGE page for updates, I said that I was going to report it again (Henry: “Well, they already know…”) so that I could ADD A DESCRIPTION:

I smugly thrust my phone out to Henry who had been warning me to please not make threats or swear because this was connected to our account and WAS JUST ABOUT TO HIT NEXT when the lights sputtered on. And you’ve seen my house, so going from pitch black to NEON CENTRAL in 0 seconds flat is quite a spectacle. It was like the Las Vegas Strip rebooting.

So that was a fun night!

Memorial Day itself was lame. This was the first time in quite a few years that we stayed home, which meant we got to see that dumb parade. It was also Tamanna’s first time watching it and she was recording it in the beginning and then lost interest and went back inside lol.

The fact that there are two Finleys scares me.

I fucking hate it so much when these assholes fire their idiot manly man-man rifles. It should be banned! This is triggering to many people and also rude and insensitive to the area animals!!

“Complain about it,” Henry mumbled.

“You know what maybe I will!” I cried. “Now that I know Dormont has a mayor!”

Henry frowned. “You…didn’t know that?”

“No, not until that time he liked my tweet,” I said.

Henry, now looking worried, tentatively asked, “What…was the tweet?”

“‘wow apparently Dormont has a mayor’.”

Henry: “…..”

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Dude this religious prayer cohort is new-to-me. Totally unexpected! My work friend Maggie lives in a neighboring town that also gets visited by this dumb parade and she said one of those guys splashed her with holy water! “That’s assault, brother,” she said in her comment on my reel. Agreed! Some of us like having evil residing within our skinsacks.

Meanwhile, Chooch’s bus home was delayed by nearly three hours so he got to live his best life by renting a city bike and tooling around the empty city at 7am, sending me pictures of the Mr. Gray Guys (squirrels) that were frolicking around.

Yeah, I really don’t think I have anything else to add. It was….a weekend.

Well, New Years Eve was alright! We never ever ever plan anything. I don’t even ask people to come over, honestly, because I’m so paranoid of DUIs/accidents/etc. I just want everyone to stay safe! So, we stay in every year, and it’s always cozy and regular-egular*.

*(Ew. I have never said that before. 2024 is off to a wild start!)

Now that I think about it, was this the last time we had a NYE guest??? Good lord that was a fun night. *promptly texts Christina the link*

Earlier that day, Henry brought his mom over. She was supposed to come over Christmas Day, but IN CASE YOU MISSED THE MEMO, I WAS PUKING.

Some things to note:

• Chooch works early on weekends, comes home and immediately naps like an old man (see also: Henry). He tried to stay awake while Judy was here but she and Henry were talking about People From Before Our Time so he was easily lulled to sleep.
• That saucer on the floor is what I feed the cats their treats on and it pisses off Henry and Chooch so much because there are two of them that they constantly kick around the house (saucers, not cats; they wouldn’t be living here any longer if they were kicking cats, FYI).
  • WAIT, YOU CAN SEE BOTH IN THIS PICTURE, LOL.

Per Judy’s request, Henry made kimbap. A few days later, my mom texted me like, “What are these pinwheels things with spinach that Judy is talking about??” LOL. That makes them sound so American.

Almost immediately upon arriving, Judy retold (unbeknownst to her) the heavily-fictionalized story of Henry climbing a tree, and the time she and my mom met some guy at McDonald’s and then my mom suddenly suggested that they follow him which, knowing my mom, TRACKS. My mom, however, aggressively disputes this memory. The two of them went out together today and when my mom texted me to tell me that she just dropped Judy off and they had a good time, I asked, “Did you pick up any guys??”

She chose to ignore that.

Judy and Trudy! (And Chooch.)

Hold please while I post the most unflattering picture of Henry, LOLOLOL:

Later that night, Chooch actually graced us with his presence for several rounds of this 80s and 90s humming game that I am SO FUCKING GOOD AT and Henry “I Was In Chorus” Robbins is embarrassingly bad at. Chooch also is really good and we can usually guess each others’ humming because we’re savants.

Anyway, on one of my turns, I got to choose any option from the card I had, so I chose Kate Bush’s “Running up that Hill” knowing Chooch would get it because of Stranger Things. He did (Henry did not) and I said, “It was between that and Tiffany” because he also loves “I Think We’re Alone Now” because of Umbrella Academy, and he goes, “Kate Bush and Tiffany are basically the same person.”

Mmm….are they though? Are they?

Also, I just realized that those are both from two shows that I always relate to each other so that’s a wild realization, come into my mind, it’s a fucking rave up in here.

Party cats.

Yeah, so that was a night. It was ok! I thought that I had drunk so much when I stood up and stumbled, but Henry pointed out that I only had one beer, LOLOL.

The next day, Chooch worked and Henry slept for HOURS because big baby was soooo tired boo hoo. Please. So I spent almost all day alone :( But then the idiot woke up and we went to Carnegie Coffee because I wanted matcha. It was pretty good. We also shared a cinnamon roll cake but I should have gotten my own because it was fucking good, man.

But yeah, mostly it was just a really boring and dreary day. Henry made soondubu jjigae for dinner, so that was a nice cozy New Years dinner. Then we just watched Korea cafe vlogs all evening and I cried about missing Korea. Typical.

I’ll tell you what though, I’m ready for HOLIDAY SEASON to be in the past. I still have my decorations up, but they will come down this weekend OK don’t judge me. Christ.

Well, here we are, like anything is different but the GOSH DARN date.

(I’m trying to swear less in 2024.)

(Sike.)

(I’m bringing “sike” back in 2024.)

I don’t have any resolutions per se, like, things I want to quit, etc. But as with every year, I want to be more present in my friends’ lives and I feel like it never works as well as I hope. As much as I’m glad to be off of Facebook, it does make me the odd one out when it comes to missing big announcements and seeing my friends’ kids grow up, etc. I know back in the old days, we would just call each other with news or send an email god forbid, but I can’t expect everyone to be like, “Oh yeah, Erin!” and then send me a special text or email about life events. So…I need to be better at checking in, and that’s that!

What else…

Always up for making new friends. I got to finally meet Lindsey (twice!) last year and I hope there’s more fun lunches to come! I need to dust off* some of my older friendships too and actually make hangouts happen rather than just going through the motions. Like, sending a text with, “We need to catch up. Here are some dates and places to eat. Pick one of each. Alternatively, come to my house for pizza and to be served by Henry.”

I CAN BE MILITANT WHEN I NEED TO BE so I better get a solid, confident response after the initial text, none of this wishy-washy bullshit.

*(I did reconnect with someone from my childhood though and that was a really special thing that happened in 2023!)

More game nights? We only had ONE last year and it was impromptu.

More weekend day trips? We have lots of time now that Chooch doesn’t care about us. I asked Henry where we could and he was like, “You have lived in Pgh all of your life,  you know what is close” and yeah OK but I want him to tell me?? I like to find sickening-looking donut places and/or artery-clogging vegan fast food places to travel to. And I really want to go to CALL YOUR MOTHER deli!

(Am I ever going to come back to this post for reference, or am I typing just to type while waiting for dinner?)

We don’t have any amusement park trips planned yet, but I’m sure we will go to some. I did unilaterally decide that we should just make Dollywood our Thanksgiving tradition. I told Chooch and he was like, “What makes you think I’m going to vacation with you losers when I’m 18 and in college?” Wow OK. Cool.

I just want 2024 to be fulfilling and less stressful if possible than 2023, where I ended the year having what I believe were actual, clinical panic attacks throughout the month of December (starting the day and evening of Chingumas, actually) where my heart was fluttering out of control and I actually thought perhaps I was having a heart attack. I have never had anxiety/stress/panic that bad probably since 2016 aka The Year of the House / 116 Gillcrest. I was actually so scared one day last week while I was working that I called Henry and considered going to the hospital, but I truly think I was panicking.

So yeah, hopefully none of that in 2024. Maybe more quiet time would be nice, if I can actually get myself to do nothing?!!? How do you do nothing?! I was supposed to go to brunch with some friends on Saturday (it was ultimately postponed) and there was the option to go to a nearby spa first. Three of them were like “LET’S DO ITTTTT” and I was like, “LOL no thanks.” Like, me? Sitting/laying still and having a relaxing experience? No sir.

Well, one thing I can promise is that this blog will probably either stay at its current level of useless, or dip even deeper into worthless territory.

Bye!

We had our cemetery Christmas “picnic” (hasn’t been a full picnic in YEARS but whatever) on Saturday since, OMG did you know I was sick on Christmas? I can’t remember if I mentioned it on here 5x or 50x. Sorry I’m annoying. I’m pretty salty though because from what I hear (I didn’t look out the window once), Xmas Day was exceptionally balmy and beautiful. My friends were like, “GREAT DAY FOR YOUR CEMTERY THING!!” and I was like, “Oh….was it?”

Our Do-Over Day was decidedly not balmy nor beautiful, but our options were the same for each day of this three-day weekend so I was like, “Fuck it, let’s just get this family photo-op over with” LOL j/k, I was like, “Let’s take our time and enjoy each other’s company like the tight-knit family unit we are.”

Right?

We picked Chooch up from work at Chipotle and drove straight to Sumi’s (usually we got to Pink Box but Sumi’s across the street was open since it wasn’t Christmas Day and as much as I love Pink Box’s array of Chinese buns, I love Korean baked goods even more), got some red bean donuts and I think Chooch got some mocha cream bread, then headed down the street to our face Christmas Cem: Homewood.

Thankfully, you can’t see it in these pictures but his pants had guac stains all over them and he just stunk of Chipotle in general but that’s the price we paid for not allowing him to come home first.

(Chooch was like “Get off me, don’t touch me” lol.)

It was fucking cold AF and the air was damp, the ground soggy and sploogy, but it was still nice to laugh while trying to capture some Party Party photos (Henry and Chooch constantly doing the bare minimum with those).

Some live action bullshit:

And to officially close the chapter on Christmas, here’s some pictures of my NCT swag <3

Chooch got me a Haechan bookmark and it was apparently Baby’s First Etsy Purchase. He didn’t realize it was almost Christmas that the seller had been sending him Convos because he didn’t leave a name with his address and also he didn’t speficy which member he wanted the free stickers to be of, and he didn’t know this was happening because he, of course, immediately locked himself out of his account after purchasing it. So on actual Christmas, he gave me a candle from Target and explained the sitch to me. Then a few days later, an envelope arrived addressed to “Etsy Seller.” It was my bookmark LOL.

Can you believe he asked for the candle back after the bookmark came?? Yeah, you probably can. “I actually bought that candle for myself, so….”

Then as he was inspecting the bookmark later, he made sure to throw in the fact that it cost an extra $1.50 to add the tassel. “It was basically the most expensive version they offered,” he said. LOL ok wow big spender.

Henry got me an NCT Dream sweatshirt! I mean, I sent him the link and the size, so it was the least he could do, honestly.

He also got me two Renjun shirts (<33333) and my mom got me a Haechan shirt after I told her, “Oh please, don’t get me anything! But I mean, IF YOU REALLY WANT TO, I’LL HAVE THIS HAECHAN SHIRT, THANKS.” She was like, “OK” and then on Xmas Eve I made her watch a “Haechan Being Haechan” compilation on YouTube so she would know who he is.

I looked over at one point and I think she was actually looking ABOVE the TV. Her eyes looked glazed-over.

Cool, goodbye Christmas 2023! I’ll leave you with this beautiful live performance of Like We Just Met from one of the recent year-end music shows in Korea. I love NCT Dream so much!! (Also, Janna sent me a screenshot with Haechan highlighted – she got it on her first try!!)

Part two of the highly anticipated Christmas Eve 2023 series (?? lol ok) is finally here, everyone. You can read this and then sleep peacefully, knowing that you will be granted entrance to 2024 with the knowledge of how some idiot broad in Pittsburgh spent her December holidays, etc.

We offered to host this year and switched it to Christmas Eve because my dad usually has a small dinner on Christmas with Ryan and Corey so it’s just less stressful all around to do it on a different night. Plus, I thought it would be nice to spend actual Christmas, just the three of us, with no rushing around, cleaning, cooking, etc. (LITTLE DID I KNOW THAT I WOULD BE SPENDING IT DOING NOTHING BUT SLEEPING AND MOANING ON MY DEATH BED.)

Earlier that day, Janna texted me and said that Christmas was cancelled with her family because both of her sisters were sick so I was like OMG COME TO MY HOUSE THEN! And she was like OK! And even brought krumkake! (Did I already talk about this, Leroy? It feels like I may have.)

Anyway, here in this photo, she’s sitting next to Chooch on the church pew looking like someone accused her of voter fraud.

Ew, ham.

Henry also made the vegan Wellington again! But this time he used the School Night Vegan recipe which is very intense and involved. I thought it turned out SO WELL(ington) but sadly, I was not able to eat any leftovers due to the Christmas Stomach Expulsion of 2023. Lowk (I JUST LEARNED THAT THE KIDS TYPE THIS INSTEAD OF LOWKEY – THAT IS NOT A TYPO), I can’t even really bear to type about the food because, you know, aversions, etc etc.

Oh god. I really really really thought when I first got sick in the middle of the night that I had just mixed too many different wines because I was feeling FUCKING FESTIVE that night and glugged my fucking face off.

I was trying to take guerrilla, candid spy pics way too quickly and they kept coming out blurry. Am I fucking spastic or just getting old? Pretty soon, I’ll have a forever-smudge on my camera lens that everyone else will notice but me.

At some point, Corey asked for an extra napkin after I thought I made it clear this was a “one napkin per diner” event, so I grudgingly gave him one because Christmas Spirit. And you know what he needed it for? TO CAPTURE TWO STINKBUGS* which he then presented to me like some Hero Exterminator on the way to throwing it in the garbage.

I screamed, and I mean SCREAMED, “OMG you didn’t kill them, did you?? We don’t kill stink bugs in this house!!” and he was so taken aback by this, like he truly thought I was joking. Thank god he hadn’t squashed them yet, and I made him release them immediately!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS, STINKBUG BABIES!!

*(I typed stinkboys at first and now that’s what I want to call them going forward.)

Don’t even get me started on the desserts!! It ended up being FINE but I realized really late into the week that we hadn’t even considered this part of the meal and I felt bad putting even more tasks on Henry’s shoulders, so I suggested we just go and pick up dessert from a bakery. The day before, we went to Prantl’s and of course it was slim pickins because hello, most places have holiday pre-orders but we missed the deadline for everywhere. There were two pies sitting on a table – cherry and berry, I think, neither of which caught my eye – so Henry asked, “You don’t happen to have an apple pie in the back, do you?”

OH OK suddenly taking initiative which, you know, great, sit Ubu sit good boy, but when it comes to DESSERT MATTERS, we need to DISCUSS THIS FIRST. Hello, side bar? So, now I’m fuming that he did this without consulting me because I didn’t WANT an apple pie? And then the Prantl’s lady was SO STOKED as she came back with the LAST ONE and I was like, “Yay, I guess we’re having apple pie for Christmas.” So of course I threw a fit in the car as we left (I am a monster, you don’t have to say it behind my back. These are very popular facts that have been wildly known for 44 years) and Henry was all, “LISTEN HERE, QUEEN B, DO YOU WANT ME TO GO BACK” and I was like “NO!!” which clearly translates to YES. He went back and also got two tortes (they are Pittsburgh Famous for their burnt almond tortes, FYI) and everyone was happy so Christmas wasn’t ruined.

Post-dinner VR. We were watching Johnny’s rollercoaster POVs from vacation!

The way that Chooch was dressed like he was going to the beach after dinner, though.

Siblings!

Also, post-dinner, we started talking about all of my blind dates, for some reason, and I kept holding up my phone to show the table pictures of these guys (and girl). Ryan goes, “How are you pulling up these pictures so fast?” and I was like, “Oh, I’m just searching their names on my blog!”

Duh.

UGH this fucking game. Codewords. I was half-drunk by this point and had a hard time focusing.

Chooch was my teammate and you can tell he was very happy about this.

Ryan and my mom had left by then lol.

Corey on a “work call” while drinking “coffee” from the Olson Twins coffee cup I got him, lol.

Corey’s Famous Spinach Dip.

EK, XMAS EVE 2023

Overall, it was a nice evening. No drama. Good company. Lots of laughs! Wish this had carried over to the next day, LOLOLOLOLLLLL.

(P.S. There was kind of drama when Chooch leaned over and clicked “follow” on the Instagram of a girl he goes to school with, causing her to text him, “Your mom requested to follow me on Instagram!” which isn’t embarrassing at all.)

Still not feeling fully myself. I slogged through the workday yesterday (it’s amazing how it’s even a struggle working while sick even when you’re in the comfort of your own home) and I ended up getting a bit of my fever back last night. No more stomach issues since mid-Christmas Day at least! Anyway, in an effort to not get too behind in blogging, let’s look at pictures of pre-Christmas Eve dinner. I love setting things up while Henry is killing himself at the stove!

LOL I actually have no idea how to set a table. And crinkled napkins give it a rustic flavor, I feel like right? Or is Garbage Xmas the theme I was shooting for?

At least I straightened the fork before taking this picture.

Janna’s family was sick, so Christmas was postponed for her. I said, “NOT SO FAST” and invited her to our hobo Christmas Eve dinner. Our table, even with the leaf in place, isn’t meant to seat more than 6 comfortably so she and Corey had to squeeze in together at the end. I suggested that she just eat in the living room at the coffee table but Henry was like, “Erin.”

:D

Anyway, Janna’s family is Norwegian and she brought over a batch of her mom’s homemade krumkake – they were delightful! They’d kick pizzelles’ asses in a street fight.

Clown Buffet continues to be the best part of the house currently.

Poor Penelope doesn’t know yet that people are on their way. DON’T GET TOO COZY.

I can tell that I took this picture after some guests arrived because I see Corey’s “World Famous” spinach dip and rolls displayed in all of their “rogue recipe” glory up there. OK, this confirms that I’m still not ready to talk/think/write about food so I will end this here. Bye byeeeee.

Dude you guys. I have very little to say about Christmas Day because I legit spent 99% of it in bed with a stomach bug. I was able to come downstairs for about an hour that morning, having written off the night before as “too much mixed wine at Christmas Eve”  but then I quickly realized that nope, oh nope, this was a bug that was going to accompany me throughout the entire fucking day, ho ho ho.

Christmas Eve was much more festive so I will recap that once I am 100%. But for now, here are the only pictures I took along with a recap of who all gave Chooch his presents which is my favorite part of wrapping gifts!

He actually said, “Wait…who’s Doug? Oh, that guy.”

Waiting for Henry so he could start opening all of his presents from “other people.” This was the year of vinyl. It’s pretty much all he wanted.

Opening Penelope’s present for her because she was being a weirdo.

I got Henry some tool thing that I always see commercials for on YouTube. I dunno if he will ever have a use for it, but you’re welcome, from: Project Manager.

A selection of people from whom he received gifts this year:

• Fleece Radkins’ burrito
• The duct tape on Purple Pants‘ purple coat
• Justin signing Balder (“Wow, now I get presents from activities.”)
• The girl you sat behind on the Racer
• Your Czennie parents (Czennie – what NCT calls their fans. Chooch was pissed about this one lol)
• Marshall’s cigarette butt in Gronalund
• Raine’s dad
• Suez (one of my many nicknames for Drew and probably the one that Chooch hates the most)
• Unfinished college apps

I got a bunch of NCT Dream stuff, a new LALA coat, some Lolavie hair stuff, and probably bed sores from all the bed-laying I did :(