We used to go to Kennywood every Father’s Day because for some reason it is traditionally uncrowded there that day. I guess most dads want to stay home and grill meats, who knows. I’m not a dad, I don’t know what goes on in Dad Minds.

It ended up being not crowded, per the norm! And Chooch had already said he was bored before we even entered the park so that was a great start, status quo, welcome home, etc.

Steel Curtain finally reopened this season after having been closed all of last season and….most of 2023 I think? I quit caring, to be honest. Kennywood does this thing where they buddy up with a coaster manufacturer and agree to have a prototype / first of its kind added to the park and then it ends up being a maintenance nightmare, but whatever – you do you, K-wood.

Oh! I can’t believe I never mentioned this on here but Kennywood and its sister parks were recently bought by Herschend, the owner of DOLLYWOOD AND SILVER DOLLAR CITY. I am so stoked on this. Do I wish that Kennywood could go back to being family-owned? Of-fucking-course. But this last corporation that owned them (Palace) made some real stupid choices. I’m hoping that Herschend will put some theming in, get some better food up in that piece (I’m thinking of YOU, Dollywood’s famous cinnamon bread,  but then again – it might lose its novelty if we’re able to have it whenever we want here in Pittsburgh!), and AHEM – RMC MAYBE??? We know Herschend has a good relationship with RMC! (OK, Lightning Rod might have tarnished that relationship BUT they were still invited to re-track Fire in the Hole at Silver Dollar City, so maybe??)

Sorry. Tangent.

LOL Henry had to ride with some other dad. They immediately started talking, too, and Chooch and I were dying. Then Chooch realized he had allowed himself to share a moment with me and went back to being sullen and bored.

Anyway, Steel Curtain is still good! I didn’t notice the new trims that much, but Henry said that his ride was super bumpy but maybe that’s just because his brain is bumpy.

KANGAROO.

Honestly, nothing that exciting happened all day so this is mostly just going to be pictures.

We didn’t even really ride that much because we were all tired for various reasons (Henry and I had a late Friday night and then the No Kings protest most of Saturday, and Chooch is just perpetually tired because he’s of a certain age + spent all of Saturday on a train home). But we did get some Phantom rides in and I can confirm that it is STILL one of my all time favorite coasters.

Then Chooch guilted me into riding Black Widow with him and I cannot stress enough how much I dislike this ride.

They assign you a number when you walk on and are very serious about everyone sitting in their assigned seat. They were going in order starting from 1 and I ended up being 15 but then they skipped to 20 for Chooch. I know it was weight / balance thing because the park wasn’t crowded enough for them to fill every seat on each cycle, but it was still annoying because I didn’t want to ride at all and now I had to sit alone. Then they moved him and some of the people next to him clear on the other side!

I’m not going to lie, I thought I was going to throw up as the ride was coming to a stop. I was hungry and also definitely needed water so that just exacerbated things and I am totally certain that all of the casual bystanders could tell that I was having a bad time, lol. The ride operator even said, “How was that ride?? Some of you looked like you were having fun, others….did not.”

HEY, THE LITTLE NEXT TO ME ALSO HATED IT AND WAS YELLING AT HER BROTHER THE WHOLE TIME FOR MAKING HER RIDE IT, SO THERE.

DARK SKIES.

OMG he’s so happy to be home with mommy and daddy.

We didn’t get a Golden Nugget! But we have season passes so I’m sure I will get my Gol’Nug fix at some point this summer.

That stupid Bites & Pints thing was happening again so Henry bought a dumb tasting card and there was next to nothing for non-meat eaters, I’ll tell you that much. Chooch and I would have been extra-screwed if we were full vegan. As it were, we could only really eat the dessert options at nearly every country’s booth. I was PISSED at Italy because it looked like ALL THREE OPTIONS were meatless so I was stoked and asked for the flatbread that had peaches and cheese on it, I forget the exact kind. But then when I saw in under the heat lamp thing, it looked like it had MEAT CRUMBLES on it so I asked the guy who punched my taster card if it did and he emphatically said no. But some woman next to him overheard and said, “Yes, it does – pancetta.”

UGH!!! The description did NOT mention that AT ALL. Do better, Kennywood. It is literally 2025.

Oh and the “pints” option for Korea wasn’t even a Korean beer, but ok.

My favorites were the churros from Spain and whatever the raspberry pancake things were from Poland.

It started raining pretty hard around 3PM and Chooch was like, “Oh darn, I guess we will have to leave now.” He was in a big hurry to be done with family time!

Before we left, Chooch and I rode the Racer in the rain which was kind of fun actually, but there was a Jonny Craig-looking dad in front of us (in a wife-beater, no less) whose young son was sitting in front of him and he proceeded to SLAP THE KIND ON THE BACK OF THE NECK for the entirety of the ride?! Granted, he was doing it as a loving rough-housing type of thing but it was making Chooch and me so uncomfortable, like bro – ok, you could have stopped after the third whack, you know?

Just so fucking weird.

What else do I want to remember? Oh, Johnny Rockets is now the Carousel Cafe and they have a veggie burger! We were HOT several seasons ago when Johnny Rockets removed the black bean burger from their menu like fucking haters. Anyway, only Chooch wanted to eat there so I went inside with him while Henry went to pee (the Kangaroo really jostled it out of him), but then I realized I didn’t have my credit card so we standing there by the register like losers waiting for Henry to come back and then a big family came in and I was like UGH NOW THEY WILL GET IN FRONT OF US AND THIS WILL TAKE LONGER but luckily, they hung back to look at the menu and then I saw Henry finally walking over so I pushed Chooch over to the register to order. I was frantically waving Henry over but a mom and her daughter thought I was calling them over so they cut in front of the large family and joined us?!!? It was so awkward!!!

And then the young emotionless girl who rudely took Chooch’s order was so confused because there were three of us but only he was ordering and it turned into a whole thing much like everything does when the 3 of us are united, like we’re aliens from a planet of socially awkward dysfunctional families. She acted MAD that only Chooch was ordering food though and I was like, “MIND YO’ BUSINESS, MISSY.”

Anyway, not the most exciting trip to Kennywood but it was still fun, we rode Phantom, I sipped some beers, and it got us out of the house AS A REUNITED FAMILY and that’s all that really matters! Don’t worry, I’m sure there will be many more amusement park recaps this summer and hopefully at least one of them will be more exciting than this one.

Yesterday was a milestone birthday for Henry – the big 6-0! I posted these pictures yesterday on Instagram in his honor (he was so thrilled and touched by some of them, as you can imagine) so I figured I’d share them here too because honestly, we didn’t do anything to celebrate. I kept asking him what if anything he wanted to do and he gave me nothing to work with. Some people are just like that, which is crazy to me because I will pout and sulk if nothing happens on my birthday which is why I start planning ahead of time because I have learned over the years that if you want to have a happy and fun birthday, ain’t no one going to do that for you but you.

I did chat with Chooch about this a few mths ago but we couldn’t think of anything he’d actually enjoy, lol. I definitely wasn’t going to have a party for him because that would be just me doing something for me, in the end.

And besides, the last year+ has left me stripped of energy, motivation, and creativity. Plus, it sucks without Chooch here. He’ll be home next weekend, which is Father’s Day, so we can celebrate then.

Shout out to Henry for having more patience than anyone I know, keeping Chooch & me from perishing more times than I can recount here, being a one-man crafting powerhouse (he takes all of my ideas and makes them tangible!), driving me hours upon hours for Kpop concerts and never complaining, loving G-Dragon almost as much as me, rolling with all of my stupid “OK HEAR ME OUT, WHAT IF—-” ideas, and honestly just being my best friend. I don’t know how I would have gone through this last year+ without him.

Remember when I used to take coleslaw action shots?? Should I start this series again?? Lol.

Chingumas poca Henry.

Looking like the cook. 

Celebrating Hyunjin in Seoul.

This was taken by me in Gamla Stan, Stockholm just to show him an example of how I wanted him to take a picture of ME and he still failed miserably even with a visual aid. Anyway, it turned out to be one of my favorite pictures of him and his man-purse.

Chilling with a troll in Norway.

If Henry was an office worker.

He found the Ted Nugent hotdog bun at Tony Packo’s in Toledo!

That time he got stuck on the floor at my birthday lunch in Seoul. 

This was taken at one of our favorite places to walk – Keystone State Park.

Mt. Olympus angel. He was annoyed because I posted it on Instagram and Mt. Olympus liked it haha.

This was when we were visiting Alyson in New Hampshire <3

LOL donut photoshoot in some random town in New York.

Posing at Six Flags Great Adventure.

LOL. Even when Henry is having fun, you can’t tell.

Being a proud Air Force person at Indiana Beach even though he went AWOL.  

We love Phantom’s Revenge!

At a SHINee anniversary event in Cleveland!

Working on some project for me.

Seeing NCT127 for his first time in Newark!

Enjoying his Golden Nugget at Kennywood.

Henry and his twin brother at Six Flags. 

Had to include this classic Henry photo lol.

Anyway, Henry seemed to have an OK day. He came home from work, got a haircut, went to TWO GROCERY STORES at TWO SEPARATE TIMES which is his favorite past time, and then had some beer while watching Korean content on YouTube. (Specifically: Taemin on Daesung’s talk show, and Joshua on Yoon and Brian’s show BYOB.) I don’t know what today will hold but tomorrow we’re driving to Philly to bring home the bulk of Chooch’s shit so at least he will get to see him for some belated birthday aggravation!

We went to the Laurel Hill Cemetery after lunch last Saturday (I have a shit ton of photos to share separately – that place was POPPIN’ OFF with springtime blossoms!). Chooch took a picture of Henry and me walking/running down this little path and then as per his tradition, he left an ultra-zoomed in picture of Henry’s face in my camera roll. I was watching the live version of the photos and it was cracking me up how it ended with a creepy close-up of Henry’s lascivious smile, so I spent the first hour of our drive home that evening turning it into an Instagram reel that flopped but was so fucking funny to me that I was in tears over it, literally chortle-choking in the passenger seat while Henry, eyes on the road, kept muttering, “I DON’T WANT TO KNOW.”

I’m fairly certain my friend Alyson was the only one who saw the hilarity in this – for instance, Chooch commented and said, “What is this” as if he wasn’t the one who took  the pictures?? Constantly trolling me, even when in college. Ugh.

Anyway, I don’t know what made me choose this STAYC song but I love how the ASAP part perfectly aligns with Henry’s close-up, ugh I’m dying all over again and will now forever associate STAYC with this, sorry STAYC!

I promise I won’t do this every year, but this is our FIRST anniversary as a married couple and I am feeling nice about that today and was in my feels looking through pictures from our Korean Marriage Mission.  So, here are some (the only, actually) pictures of me and Henry from that trip! Most of the pictures were of Chooch, or of all three of us. Not too many of just me and Henry together probably because he IS SO ANNOYING to take pictures with.

(Henry. Yes, you are.)

In Gyeongju!

Our handmade wedding bands that we made in Hongdae!

LOL us with our marriage license; Chooch was SO PUT OUT that we asked him to CROSS THE STREET and come over to us to take this picture. He gave literally zero fucks about this whole thing because his life did not change at all.

I loved loved loved this place. 

Buddhist Food in Insadong!

Cheonggyecheon <3

We actually came here to take Chooch’s senior pictures, but he snapped some of us too, grudgingly.

I love this picture so much, thanks Chooch! I should probably get this framed.

Henry’s dumb face lol.

One of the BEST places to walk and a great place to watch the sun set. 

I hope that we get to go back to Korea again someday. I feel more alive there than I have anywhere else in my life and the fact that Henry was willing to marry me there means so much more than any traditional wedding we could have had here. It was no frills. Just us, in jeans. I actually couldn’t imagine doing this any other way and would not change a thing.

(OK, maybe I’d have eaten more salt bread. Lol.)

Ugh, I’m crying as usual.

I woke up today to a gift bag full of Totally Erin gifts:

I was cracking up because these could easily pass for a middle schooler’s birthday presents.

Speaking of…Henry said that he talked to his mom today. She said something along the lines of how it’s too bad he didn’t meet me before “that other one” and married me first. Henry was like, “Mom, I’d have gone to jail.” I mean, considering I was IN MIDDLE SCHOOL when he was marrying “that other one.”

So, then she said that he could have “waited for me” and I screamed, “EW, SHE WAS SUGGESTING THAT YOU GROOM ME?!”

That was such a sobering moment on The First Anniversary of Ruby & Hoover’s Marriage Fit for an LJ Post.

Anyway, baby’s first Enhypen album!

Hello from Thanksgiving! It is so weird having Chooch home! I know he has only been away at college since September but it feels so much longer. And just like old times, he didn’t wake up until nearly 1PM and then came downstairs to take up space and complain (OK but mostly because I was trying to make him watch Seventeen videos).

Penelope was rolling around on the floor, playing with her toys, and I effing swear to god she would stop every once in a while and look back at Chooch as if to see if he was watching. It was so cute but I still think she hates him muchly.

Then he went to the Teen Center to interview the lady who runs the place, since she apparently is more interesting than his own mom and makes a better profile subject. Mmmm. He came home long enough to bitch about things and then went to the mall with his friends (and my credit card ughhhh I miss the days of Working Chooch) so Henry and I chilled out with some kpop content and beer. First I tried this Orval Trappist beer because I was convinced that I love monk stuff but this one was NOT GOOD.

“It smells like the pee of a sick person,” I reported as I pushed my glass toward Henry because he is like the sink drain for my beer rejects. Sorry, but I’m not wasting calories on a gross beer??!!

Henry found a Blue Moon in the back of the fridge and thought it would be a good idea to drink that next. Hello, it was probably left over from a party and who knows how old it was. Blue Moon was one of the first and only beers I was able to tolerate back in the day and if we were at a concert or festival and they had it, Henry would always share his with me because I could never drink a full one on my own and we all know how much concert beer costs. Anyway, I went to have a sip and Henry abruptly warned me it tasted bad and tried to stop me. But I was like I WILL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT.

“Ugh!” I grimaced. “It tastes like—”

“Stop! Don’t ruin it,” Henry pleaded.

“–the interior of an old car. Like if you ate an ace bandage.”

“OK great. That’s enough. Thanks.”

LOL, like I was actually done. “It tastes like Camden Park, like if you licked the duct tape holding together one of the rollercoaster seats,” I continued.

I’m pretty sure he dumped it out after that.

I did have one of my Chouffes though and even though it was an IPA, I found it to be quite refreshing and delightful. Even Henry liked it and was waiting for me to split it with him but I said, “Nah, I’ll just drink the whole thing, but thanks.”

😊

(LOL the TV in the background is showing the livestream from Incheon airport where Dispatch was waiting for Seventeen’s arrival and you better believe we sat here and waited with everyone else because we are legit Carats.)

Wait, real time update: I came downstairs and Henry is ROCKING OUT in the kitchen to Seventeen’s “Hot” while making vegan kimchi. Welcome to Thanksgiving at the Kelly-Robbins shanty.

Today has been pretty chill so far (literally) – I went for a walk in the rain this morning which I majorly regerted afterward and will probably be getting sick soon. But other than that, I have just been relaxing (well, after I got my workout in – I’m trying to get back into a fitness routine and of course I chose Thanksgiving week to kickstart that, like a fucking freak), watching some shows on Hulu, adding some Kpop Christmas cards to my Hello Hanguk shop because I am finally feeling a tiny bit creative again after like, years of not.

We got premade vegan Thanksgiving meal kits from Viridis so I’m looking forward to having that tonight. We have never had anything from Viridis before so this was really a shot in the dark but hopefully it’s good? Wish we lived closer to Seitan’s Realm because their T-giving meals looked fire. I love Seitan’s Realm so much.

Um, I guess that’s all! Just trying to use this bitchin’ space for more free-style type of posts because my therapist said that would be good. (Also, I googled “is it unethical to invite therapist to Christmas party” and I’m sure you already know the answer because even I knew the answer even though TV CHARACTERS ARE ALWAYS INVITING THEIR THERAPISTS TO EVENTS but gentle reminder to myself that I am not a TV CHARACTER, just a BROOKLINE ERIN, but anyway – this is how I learned about “transference” and how therapists are required to immediately refer their patients to someone else when that happens. HOW EMBARRASSING.)

Wait one more thing! Henry is back in the kitchen doing cooking things and Stray Kids’ Lose My Breath just came on and I got SO STOKED all over again about seeing them again next year! I told Henry to turn it up and he tried to get Echo to do it but Echo was like, “OK I WILL STOP THE SONG” and then it took him forever to get it to restart so consider the mood killed.

Yo, what a nice weekend. Henry and I spent a nice amount of time outside, which is always GOOD FOR THE SOUL or whatever someone with a collection of Rae Dunn cups would say. Saturday was decent enough but it was hot off the heels of some pretty heavy raining, and we admittedly picked a dumb locale for a walk that afternoon – Schenley Park, which has sand-like trails so we were dodging puddles left and right. ANYWAY, I wouldn’t have included this in here at all except that as we were walking, we found car keys on the trail by the soccer field. Henry scooped them up, I guess because he figured it would be safer than leaving them on the ground and also because he thought they probably belonged to one of the joggers who had splattered past us in the mud.

Sure enough, some lady who was actually parked in front of us eventually started jogging over to us and panted, “You didn’t happen to see car—” and Henry held the key up for her to take.

“Oh my god!” she cried. “I said to myself, ‘I’m gonna ask these ppl over there’ and thank god I did!” and we were like, “<good natured lip service>” but really in my head I was like WOW MUST BE NICE TO LOSE SOMETHING AND THEN GET IT BACK.

So then I whined about my missing ring for pretty much the rest of our walk. Picked up Chooch from his game design class at Pitt, stopped at Grim Wizard for a chai but then ended up getting a Vlad the Impaler latte instead and it was OK but had a bit too much strong flavors swirling up in it.

Not too much else happened on Saturday. Oh, we went to Kohl’s which has become one of my least favorite places in the world but I needed to find a top to wear with a skirt I got for my not-wedding and it ended up OK but I just truly hate shopping, I think.

The weather on Sunday was much more beautiful than Saturday though and I was rearin’ to go. This time I chose Monongahela Cemetery because it’s been a few years since I was last there with Chooch the day we went out without a chaperone to geocache. 

We stopped at a Sheetz down the street first so I could pee and I found a pair of sunglasses hanging in the stall! SO I TURNED THEM IN TO SOMEONE AT THE CHECK-OUT.

WHY COULDN’T SOMEONE TURN MY RING IN??

(Ugh I honestly spent all weekend reliving that night.)

(Yeah-yeah that’s me, linking back to one post ago like a loser.)

Anway. Ugh. What a nice day.

Ew, you can see Henry BANDAID in this picture. He started to tell me what the cause of his injury was but it had something to do with a car seat of a truck and it fell on his arm and UGH I started screaming because I think I was picturing this to be way worse in my mind because Henry was doing a poor job explaining it so I had to fill in the gaps with my mental Play-Doh Factory of worst case scenarios.

Of course, we mainly talked about K<3REA.

AND THEN I

SAID THAT’S

THE ONE THING WE’VE GOT

(Hate that song, actually, so I’m thrilled for myself that it popped in my head just now.)

You guys! I couldn’t tell if this raccoon was dead or just sleeping!?! Henry said it was definitely sleeping but I couldn’t see that he was breathing and I was so freaked out.

That was a nice hour of sunshine and acting like morons.

Then we drove a few towns over to CHARLEROI and had lunch at some place called Perked Up cafe. The vibe of the place was decent – I mean, we were so far removed from ThE bIg CiTy that this wasn’t a magnet for Instagram Influedouchers.

I was sad though because I must have been looking at old menu and the AVOCADO TOMATO sandwich I was eyeballing wasn’t on the actual menu board there :( The cashier suggested just getting the avocado toast with tomato but I had it in my head that the retired sandwich was meant* to be actual slices of avocado and tomato on a sandwich, son. Not smashed avocado. :( So instead I got the spinach & artichoke on marbled rye and let me just tell you that the bread was the best part because the stuff between the slices was scant and lacked absolutely all flavor. And for $10!!!! Jesus Christ. I abhor making sandwiches but you better trust that even I would have made this better.

*(I had a friend who moved away from Pgh many many many years ago and she would always say “meant” instead of “supposed,” for example: “You were meant to turn there.” I would get angry and scoff, ”Stop talking like you’re British!” So, good job triggering yourself, Erin.)

I mean, I still ate it though because I was fucking hunggggy.

Henry kept raving about his cold brew and I was like, “Calm down, guy, it’s not that special.” For instance, I got a French Toast latte it tasted like neither French nor toast nor French toast. I didn’t hate it, and I somehow didn’t hate the place in general. But I was still fucking hunggggy when we left.

LOL you’re welcome.

Ugh Saturday started out horribly. Ok that’s hyperbolic, it was just boring and mildly frustrating because it was snowing hard. Henry and I were going to go to lunch at Blue Flame but then Responsible Son texted from work and said that he OF FUCKING COURSE didn’t have his house key so we had to turn around (granted we were still close to home but everyone was crawling because of the snow) to unlock the door for him – so safe.

THEN it took us forever to even get onto the main road because a car was broken down so traffic was all backed up and it was nearly 1PM by now and like nearly EVERY RESTAURANT IN PGH Blue Flame closes as 2PM so we decided to just go to Frank and Shirley’s which is much closer to home anyway but when walked in, the bus boy was all, GET THIS, “oh yeah we’re closed bc of the weather.”

THERE WERE PPL EATING AND THE “WEATHER” WASN’T BAD BUT OK. Cook on. Or, don’t, I guess, BC OF THE WEATHER.

Idiots.

So basically it took us exactly an hour to drive in a circle 10 minutes away from our house only to come back and eat lunch at home.

Ew, I was fuming.

Chooch slept over a friend’s house that night, so Henry had a soju & makgeolli party and watched the new Exorcist which I thought was just OK and definitely didn’t scare as much as some other possession movies (my favorite type of horror, BTW).

I had a lot of things to say throughout it and I think Henry welcomed my commentary because it distracted him from the matter at hand: THAT WE WERE WATCHING A MOVIE ABOUT POSSESSION and very much the opposite of me, Henry hates horror movies that have religious themes to them because HE IS A BIG WUSS.

At one point, I felt inspired to text Chooch and tell him that if ever became possessed, I would leave. Literally could call my mom and ask if I could move back home or better yet, send Chooch there.

Which reminded me….

“When I was in high school, I desperately wanted to be possessed by the devil. Desperately,” I confessed to Henry, burping up soju probably.

“That…doesn’t surprise me one bit,” Henry mumbled.

Today, Henry and I had our lunch do-over but this time decided to go to Deer Creek Diner in Russellton, wherever that is. I don’t know what I was doing when I took this picture but judging by the last month or so of my blurry picture-taking, I think it’s safe to say that I have crossed over to Elderly Person Taking Photos with Kindle territory.

This place was fine! As soon as we sat down, the elderly couple (who probably have an entire camera roll of blurry pictures) on the other side of the little wall thing next to us said hello and it made me feel uncomfortable, like they were breaking some sort of third wall, restaurant edition, and then when the man sneezed at one point, I had a mental breakdown trying to decide if saying BLESS YOU was appropriate but then too much time passed while I was debating so instead I just pretended like I hadn’t noticed even though we made eye contact.

Oblig coleslaw-in-the-maw action shot! This coleslaw was totally my style, btw.

I got a grilled cheese with tomato, and fries. Forgot to take a picture. The grilled cheese was basic, but the fries were ALMOST the “Good Kinds” that I love so much. Almost!

I had to come back into the bathroom after already being in there once to actually pee, because I made the fatal mistake of not bringing my phone (I mean, it’s weird to walk into a public bathroom with your phone in your hand; I usually only bring it in if I’m wearing a jacket and it’s in the pocket) only to be met with this HIDEOUS mural!!!

I made sure that all of the diners who were there when I went in the first time were already gone, lest they think I have some bladder disorder or a hand-washing compulsion, etc. Because EVERYONE CARES WHAT I DO, OBVIOUSLY.

Anyway, I had only been in there for 20 seconds and was getting ready to leave when someone started knocking on the door. That pissed me off. Excuse me, but if the door is locked, then clearly someone is in there? You really have to knock?? So, I washed my hands for no reason and then left, having to slide past the OFFENDER who OF COURSE happened to be a lady sitting behind us who had left and then apparently come back just to use the bathroom so now she knew that I had used it twice in 15 minutes, UGH.

(Again, no one cares. But this is one of those things that I will think about for at least the next 7 years.)

The men’s room had deer! Henry took these without me even asking!

You have no idea how long I waited to get this shot, because the table at the end was occupied almost the whole time and one of the people, some middle-aged woman, freaking locked eyes with me every time I turned to see if the coast was clear.

The worst part of the lunch was when Marble Mouth Henry whispered to the waitress, “Can we get dessert?” Um first of all, we’re paying customers, so fuck yeah, we can get dessert, why is he asking for permission?? We are hardworking adults who have more than earned a piece of freaking pie. Anyway, she of course couldn’t hear him because he was mumbling, and this was right after she gave us the check, so she goes, “What’s that? Oh, you can pay up front” and he goes, “No” and then re-mumbles the dessert question, and she goes, “Oh! You want me to turn up the TV?”

Oh good lord, I couldn’t sit back and watch this any longer so I jumped in and asked with CLEAR ANUNCIATION, “Do you have coconut cream pie? I see it’s on one sign, but not on the daily special board, so I wasn’t sure…” and she seemed relieved to have an excuse to remove herself from this excruciating episode. “Let me check!” she said, and jogged away.

“YOU ARE SO EMBARRASSING!” I hissed, and Henry just laughed and shrugged, because he probably didn’t hear what I said anyway.

They did NOT have coconut cream pie, so we got a slice of Italian cream cake to share, and it was super rich and waaaay too much but I still did more than my share in its demolition.

The last notable thing of the weekend, and certainly a perk, was that Chooch and I got to have a Zoom call with our friend Kristen and it was sooooo nice to see her face, hear her voice, and chat about Chooch’s college applications and such. It definitely put me at ease! I can’t believe how long it’s been since we last saw her IRL, so I hope 2024 is the year that breaks that streak!

Well guys after pretty much exactly a year, Henry has finished (well, to the point where it’s presentable at least) the second incarnation of the Seoul Subway Sign!

You probably don’t remember (or care, most likely) but while Henry was making the first version*, he began to realize that there were better ways to do it but he was too far into it to start over. The first version was fine-ish but he used regular LED lights and some of them were plain white (he claims he didn’t know this?? was he building parts of this bitch in his sleep??) so he couldn’t change the color of those strips to match the subway lines, and THEN anytime the electricity would go out (we live in an old house so it’s more often than you’d think) all of the lights would reset and nothing would match anymore.

*(OK weird but the first version was completed exactly one year and 2 days ago. And now this one was completed ALSO exactly a year after he started it last November?!?)

Not to mention the paper was glued down on plexi glass and almost IMMEDIATELY started to bubble.

The original frame was painted gold and I lowkey hated it. It was more meBLAHlic than metallic if you know what I mean. (Why can’t I ever make sense to you?!)

So even though I really wanted a better version I think Henry wanted it even more, as a pride thing you know?

This time around he used the led lights that people use for programmable Christmas displays – you know the ones that move in time to music? So each light was programmable. This new sign has its own wifi and a box full of computer-y electrical shit that I don’t understand but Henry put together all on his own.

The frame has better colors and now each different subway music clip has its own illuminated button!

Tonight, he finished matching each light to whatever subway line it belonged to and I love it so much but also I’m so impressed that he was able to make this for me??!! I don’t give Bandanna Husband enough credit – some broads are cooing over their mans for far less (“He spray painted a rock, I’m so proud of him for stepping out of his comfort zone!”) and I’m over here like THATS NICE BUT U COULD HAVE DONE BETTER?! after everything Henry does. I need to be nicer lol.

The only things he left to do is to build the sides and cover the screw hole-thingies along the front.

I literally can’t believe it’s done. We thought – THOUGHT – it was nearly done in September but when he hung it and turned on the lights, I was like, “Um, bro? Why is the entire left half of the sign not in line with the lights?” Apparently, he used different glue on that side and as he was pasting the paper down, it was stretching JUST ENOUGH for him to not notice at the time, but also JUST ENOUGH for me to notice IMMEDIATELY as soon as he hung it.

So, then he had to strip the paper off which required a heat gun and a scraping tool thing and that took weeks upon weeks.

The anxiety I get when I think about this process, and I’m not even the one who made it. Big props to Henry who spent countless hours sitting in the basement hunched over it, listening to hours upon hours of audio books and probably willing himself into a coma.

NOW HE CAN START ON WORKING ON ALL OF MY OTHER IDEAS!!!!

Yesterday started off fine but then around 4, things got stupid at work AND Henry came home with a really shitty story to tell me – these two things coinciding just really pushed me over the edge. I went from being so angry that I was vibrating, to so sad and humiliated that I was sobbing uncontrollably, and then back to wanting to set fire to…a place.

Basically, what I learned yesterday was:

• I probably 100% require therapy for something that happened 20+ years ago;
• I know the truth and that’s all that matters;
• RAGE-WALK IT OUT. Reacting the way I really want to react is probably only going to backfire because that is what always seems to happen when I try to stick up for myself since I have a tendency of going from zero to psychopath in the blink of an eye.

But wow, I am always caught off guard by how much certain events and actions still hurt me to this day.

Anyway, maybe I will talk about this more once I have a chance to sort through my emotions, but it was a really bad time inside my head last night.

Henry and I went for a walk after dinner because I needed to rant and you all know I do my best ranting and raving while in motion. I had a library book to return so I suggested we walk to the Dormont library and then we could get some drinks at Dunkin’ across the street because that is JUST what this bitch needed, more caffeine. However, when we were walking to the library, we saw that the Boonseeker foodtruck was at a brewery across the street! What serendipity too, because I had completely forgotten that they were going to be there.

So we walked over, placed an order, and then stood as far away from the crowd as possible because I looked ROUGH from all the crying I had been doing. No makeup, unwashed hair, leggings and hoodie: I was a walking billboard for the kind of day I was having. Of course, our order got screwed up  (they gave it to someone else!!) so we had to wait even longer after already waiting a long time. Glad to have a Korean foodtruck in this city but it is a shining example of why America can’t have nice things. If we had been in Korea, the food would have been in our hands before we even had a chance to pay. America just doesn’t do “Efficiency” like Korea!

Some baby sat in a stroller and glared at me nearly the whole time. Join the club, baby. Sometimes it feels like people are lining up to make me feel like trash lol.

Here’s me looking 100% REAL in my BE REAL after we came home from nabbing Korean street food. But, the cheese stick cheered me up a bit, even though I *did* share it with Henry. Sigh. Made me really miss Korea, though. :( One day, I will return!

Another thing that made me smile was finding these pictures of Henry posing in my tutu from 2007! I thought they were lost forever because I couldn’t find them on Flickr and any photo I ever used on LiveJournal is gone because the site that hosted my photos back then was COMCAST which we no longer have.  Anyway, I actually asked Henry for his consent to post these on Instagram  (LOL who even am I lately) and he mumbled, “Whatever.”

People over there loved to see it, though!

Sadly, because of course let’s end this on a sad note, why wouldn’t I, I found out last year that the old friend of mine who made this tutu for me died from Covid. I hadn’t had contact with her in YEARS but it still felt like a kick to the heart to find that out.

Life is so fucking sad and weird, but also it can be OK so that’s what I’m holding out for: more “OK” days. Bring ’em to me. (Quickly.)

P.S. I have always been jealous of Henry’s shapely legs. Mine are like thicc tree trucks. Sigh.

Oh boy, today is this big guy’s 58th birthday! It’s also my NCT bias Haechan’s birthday, so what a special day!

One annoying thing about Henry’s birthday, and I am SURE that I expound upon this every year because it truly does get on my nerves, is that his birthday is so close to Father’s Day. Look, I only have so much energy these days to pour into gift-giving or, you know, “doing something special.” And we (“we” lol) decided that we would go to Cedar Point possibly for Father’s Day, so sorry June 6th. I guess you will have to pass quietly, with little to no fan fare.

J/K – I told Henry that he was welcome to bring home birthday treats for us all to enjoy, and he really fucking did it too!

He even treated himself to a Burger King dinner. Wow, slow down, Henry. This isn’t a milestone birthday.

Anyway, in lieu of saying Happy Birthday, I sent him this video of Haechan theatrically singing Happy Birthday, which we have both seen a thousand million times in various “chaotic NCT” compilation videos, but it had to happen.

Henry’s response was, “Wow. Thanks, Haechan.”

I know I don’t gush about the guy daily, because that would be weird, but obviously Chooch and I both love him and appreciate all that he does for us, even though we have a penchant for being spoiled brats / ungrateful dicks so maybe at times, to spectators, it might seem like we take him for granted or perhaps aren’t grateful enough. But c’mon guys. You have to know that we know how good we have it! LONG LIVE HENRY. HIP HIP HOORAY or whatever.

Apparently it’s National Pretzel Day which means absolutely nothing honestly – I’ll care about a National Whatever Day that gets me a day off work. Until then, it’s all nonsense.

I do love pretzels though. But not as much as HENRY, who eats pretzels as a form of therapy I swear to god.

So I went through my blog and collected some photos of him enjoying a pretzel. I was actually surprised that I couldn’t find more than this, though there were a lot of references of him eating pretzels, just without photographical evidence. I guess I need to do better.

Here he is at Busch Gardens Williamsburg, paranoid that someone’s going to pickpocket his pretzel.

Sometimes he treats himself to an entire bag of soft pretzels. I feel like this might have been his birthday gift to himself one year but then Chooch and I shoved our grubby mitts into the bag when he left it briefly unattended.

Roller rink snack bar softie. Even in motion, looks like he’s dunked that sucker into some cheese plz.

That time he took a detour in Amish country, following signs to the elusive SMITTIE’S SOFT PRETZEL truck that ended up disappointing him, boo hoo.

Sometimes he is too tired after making separate dinners for me and Chooch, so he ends up eating toast and pretzels.

This was on the way to see Chiodos in Columbus many moons ago and I know he was angrily grinding away on some salted twists because the accompanying blog post said so.

Well, that’s all for today because I am exceptionally tired. I have that “I’ve been crying all day” full body exhaustion going on except that I wasn’t crying all day? Just once when I was watching some broad’s recap of the Chicago NCT Dream concert LOL ugh grow up, dumb ass.

We had already decided a few days prior to Father’s Day to go to Kennywood that evening for some night ride action. Originally, we were going to try and eke out a day trip to King’s Island but that’s a lot of driving and Henry didn’t have the luxury of having the next day off like Chooch and me. So he made the executive decision to ax that idea.

It actually turned out for the best because now that we’d be home most of the day that Sunday, Chooch and I were able to finish that stupid gem art project in time to present it to Henry while it was still Father’s day and not Labor Day.

(I originally said Flag Day but that happened a week before Father’s Day lol who knew?)

Plus, by the time we gave Henry his dumb gift, I was READY to go to Kennywood. I was like, “SET ME FREE, MOTHERFUCKERS!” Could not wait to get out of the house.

This will mostly just be photos of FAMILY TIME because I’m getting super wrapped up in mortality lately and want to remember every single moment I spend with these two OMG I’m so panicked about TIME.

We all squeezed on the Kangaroo! I do want to say one thing, that while I love the new LEWK, etc of the Kangaroo, the new queue is unfamiliar and makes me feel disoriented.

Keny Kangaroo: Bites & Pints Edition. I hate that Chooch is basically the same height as him now??

Chooch wanted to do the Bites & Pints thing that Henry and I did last week even though he’s picky as hell but he swore that OMG it wouldn’t be a waste, and Henry was like, “OK fine you and I will share it” but then they ended up not using it all so GUESS WHO’S GOING BACK TO KENNYWOOD THIS WEEKEND.

Deciding what he wanted from the German booth.

OK this wasn’t on the Bites & Pints thingie but I wanted to get this ever since I saw Coaster Spot eat these when they were at Kennywood earlier in the season: FRIED MUSH at Rogue BBQ. This whole fucking basket was $8 (actually the sign said $7 but the impersonable broad who took our order charged us an extra dollar) and so filling that I only ate like 4 and gave the rest to Henry and Chooch. They were GOOD though and I would get them again.

Some older lady also ordered them and tried to return them because she “ordered the fried mushrooms and these weren’t mushrooms.” LOL, she was That Day Old when she learned that mush isn’t mushroom’s nickname.

Dude this guy at Ghostwood Estate was NOT fucking around with people. He called out every single person who ducked under the railings instead of walking all the way around and he was NOT happy about it.

He called out this one young black girl who blatantly ignored him when he told her to go back and walk the whole around. Then he called out an older WHITE NERD GUY who was SO OFFENDED at being told he was breaking the rules when he was, you know, breaking the rules, and stamped his way all the way back through the empty queue like he was told. As he passed the line attendant, the same teenage black girl who had previously been called out decided she didn’t want to be in line anymore, so she backtracked and ducked under the railing again to leave.

The white guy cried, “Are you going to yell at her too?? Are you going to treat us equal??” and I was like, “Guy you are NOT even trying to passive aggressively make this a RACE issue, on JUNETEENTH no less.” I wanted to point out that she already BEEN called out the first time around, but then he was already moving past me in line by then. It was super annoying though. I get it, no one wants to be called out but you can’t fucking stand there and be pissed that someone is doing their job. I wish more park employees would do this shit and then maybe less people would be brazen enough to line jump!!

Anyway, I won.

BABY. The main reason why we came back later in the day was because we wanted those sweet, fine Phantom night rides, boy-o.

Chooch is the worst. His pose is sooooo fake, just so you know.

NOAH’S ARK SELFIE. The family in front of us took their picture here too and Chooch was like, “NO” before I even said anything, lol.

LOL Father Henry living his best life eating some type of meat food.

Henry rode Sky Rocket without us because we wanted to wait for the front.

The ride crew that day was sooooooo obnoxious but I loved them. Chooch 100% did NOT. When we came back, the main guy was like HOW WAS THAT RIDE and I was the only person who screamed, lol. He gave me a shout out though!

I just want to give a shout to Phantom. We rode it so many times and just straight-up marathoned it once the sun went down. I swear to god I don’t remember it ever running this good but this bitch HAULS ASS this season.

OK, I swore that I wouldn’t write another Kennywood novel, so I’ll end this by saying that it was a really great Sunday evening and so far this season has reinvigorated my love for Kennywood. I was falling out of love with it over the last several years but it’s got my attention again. It still has a lot of flaws, but I have faith. (Bringing back the old train scenery could win some points!!!)

Oh shit, one more thing! The musical performers that evening was a coverband called THE GEMSTONES, literally after I spent the last week working on a GEMMING PROJECT. It was like the universe taunting me re: GEMS.

“Do you think they hand-placed each gem on their outfits?” Chooch mumbled.

Ever since I started thinking of Father’s Day gift ideas last month, I knew with absolute certainty that I wanted to do something with THE HENRY DOPPELGANGER, see also Mii Henry.

(I have referred back to THE PICTURE numerous times since it was captured last September, so you probably are like, “OK Erin we get it” but in case you are lost, please refer HERE.)

I considered getting a shirt made that had his head and the Mii head multiplied all over it but I also know that he would NEVER wear it. So, a gag gift-turned-rag, basically.

But then I remembered that I had seen an Instagram ad last year for this thing called Paint Gem, which is basically like a paint-by-number thingie but you use gems. I remembered that they offered custom portraits because I had considered getting one of Robert Smith for my beloved Cure wall but then got distracted and forget about it.

What a perfect gift, I thought! I texted Chooch and he was like, “IDK” when I asked him if he would help me do it. Love that response. Well, I was doing it regardless of Chooch’s participation. So I made my little photoshopped image, replacing the background with a rainbow splash, and placed the order. This was in mid-May.

What I didn’t know, and what the website didn’t disclaim, was that it was being shipped from China. I should have known this since I am a sucker for IG ads and I would say that 75% of what I purchase via Instagram comes from China. Which is fine, whatever, but it would have been nice to have some transparency. Because in most of the other cases, I know this going into it so my expectations of a quick shipping are low.

Then I started to Google the company and there are threads all over the internet about how it’s a scam, so even better.

BUT! I did get the product. And to be fair, it did have tracking too but if you have ever ordered anything from China, you know how frustrating the tracking can be. So, the product arrived on Monday and I was panicking because that gave me less than a week to complete it and hello, I had no idea it was going to be THIS LARGE:

Please excuse the mess: this is my old desk in the bedroom where I used to sit when I was a fake painter. It’s pretty much the only place in the house where I could work on this in privacy, and then throw a t-shirt over it in the interim. Basically, I had to be upfront with Henry and say, “DO NOT LIFT THAT T-SHIRT ON MY DESK” and basically I had to just trust that the honor system would work. Luckily, Henry isn’t a snoop and actually respects things of this nature so he never peeked.

This photo doesn’t even show all of the baggies of gems that came with this damn kit!

I’m about to send off a strongly worded email to the company too because their little Instagram videos are false. This isn’t relaxing. It’s frustrating!! They give you this pen-like tool which you dip into a plastic macaron-shaped container filled with super frustrating wax that only sometimes adheres to the pen, and then you use the tip of the pen to pick up one gem at a time to stick down on its designated spot on the adhesive-coated canvas.

But the video shows that you can attach a thing to the other end of the tool which allows you to pick up a line of multiple gems so you can theoretically apply five+ gems in a row. THIS IS A FALSEHOOD. That tool attachment does not work. Chooch, who came onto the scene four days in on Friday afternoon only because school is out now and he was “bored” while I was working (my actual job, not gemming), was like, “They lied. This attachment is a lemon.” Plus, even if it DID work, you would have to use the TWEEZERS they supplied to turn each gem over so they’re all facing the same way before trying to pick them up in a row.

Good fucking luck.

I love that I thought of this gift idea as a way to troll Henry but the whole thing ended up trolling ME instead.

One good thing is that this thing was very easy to transport – once the gems are pressed down, they don’t fall off – so I was able to bring it downstairs to work on it during downtime at my real job. I’d set out little blocks of like 5 minutes here and there, shake some gems into the tray, and power through.

The one good thing was that I was able to get through a few audiobooks!

I really thought that this was going to end up being a late gift; I mean, even by Friday night we were only about halfway done. But then I stayed up late, and Chooch took over after I went to bed, and we took shifts on Saturday too. I was up until 2AM on Saturday, giving myself a hunchback and forgetting to hydrate, and then Chooch stayed up even later after that. So by today, I was like WE MIGHT BE ABLE TO DO THIS.

It also helped that some of my friends knew about this and would ask for gemming updates, so that kept me motivated too. The downside was that it was sooooo frustrating and physically painful that I was starting to take it out on Henry.

I mean, this isn’t news to anyone, lol.

Today, around 1:30PM, I did like 87 eyeball scans of the damn thing and realized, “HOLY SHIT. WE DID IT, THERE IS ONLY ONE GEM LEFT” so I ran to get Chooch who was adamant about getting to put in the last gem, which was annoying since he left me do this all on my own from Monday – Thursday. But I’m a GOOD MOM at moments, so the maternal side of me took over and left him do it. Ugh. It was gem code “4” in case you were wondering. One of the billion shades of pink/peach/flesh gems that came with the kit.

And this is it! We made Henry leave the house so I would run it down to the dining room table and cover it with a dish towel. Then we called him back and he was actually SO SCARED to unveil it. All he knew was that we doing something that involved him and he was terrified all week, I’m sure.

It cracks me up that this stranger is just innocently living his life somewhere, maybe NY which is where we saw him, completely unaware that some creeps in Pittsburgh spent the week gemming his face. Glenn, after telling me that there is probably therapy or counseling I could get after I told him about this big PROJECT, wondered if Bizarro Henry in NY has a BIzarro Erin who tortures him…

I WONDER.

Anyway, Henry was actually impressed! He kept running his fingers over it and asking all these questions like we actually spelunked into a mine to dig for real gems and didn’t just order baggies of gem-shaped plastic from China.

“We were going to also frame it for you,” I said, “but this has all been too much so you can do that part yourself.”

“That’s fine,” he sighed, sobering at the reminder that my kindness only lasts so long. And then I spent the rest of the day crying about how bad my back hurts, etc etc because of ALL THE WORK I PUT INTO HIS PRESENT.

Happy Father’s Day to Henry, though, for real, the only guy I would give myself a hunchback over by spending 278293 hours gemming my life away. I love doing these things for him because he is a top-notch dad and really endures so much that we throw at him! I’m excited for him to frame this and hang in on the wall. I already know exactly where it’s going.

[PAINT GEM REVIEW: Would I recommend? I think so but only if you’re prepared to sink into the unknown abyss of China tracking numbers. I think that if you’re ordering something that has no deadline, and you’re able to work on it only when it’s convenient/you’re bored/it’s a rainy day, etc, then sure. This is a great project. Their tools could use a bit of tweaking but I do overall really love the final product. In fact, I was super impressed with how cool it turned out! This custom kit cost about $50 with free shipping. I think it does make an amazing and unique gift but please please please order well in advance so you’re not burning the midnight oil, flinging gems into the air because you accidentally pressed down into the GEM TRAY too hard. 

Another thing: I wish I had known from the get-go that they supply you with WAY MORE gems than you actually need; I wouldn’t have been on my hands and knees, frantically groping around for dropped gems using an iPhone searchlight. Once we realized that we had more than enough of every color of gem, it became a free-for-all for Chooch and he was basically just spilling them all over at his leisure.]

Get it? 57? HEINZ 57?

I apologize for this. It was dumb.

I got him a cake from Potomac Bakery. Normally, they have specialty cakes and they’re actually pretty decent. I was hoping to get him a lemon or raspberry one but all they had in the display was a handful of generic birthday cakes. The woman behind the counter was SOOOOO SURLY too. Like hello, please don’t work in a bakery if you’re going to have a bad attitude and I say this because I have honestly never had a run-in with a pleasant person in that bakery. Young or old, they’re all assholes. And their shit isn’t even that good, they need to get over themselves!!

Anyway, I chose the best-looking birthday cake from the slim-pickins and I guess personalization wasn’t an option because the dumb bitch didn’t offer and at that point I was stewing in CUSTOMER DISSATISFACTION so I paid and left.

Fuck you, Potomac. If Henry hadn’t taken MY CAR to work that day, I was going to go somewhere good—like Pink Box—for a specialty cake.

So really, Henry did this to himself.

I took the idiot cake home and did my own personalization. I asked the cats what name I should use and they were emphatic that I use their name for Henry: Him Man.

I fucked up the H but then I got the hang of it. I could easily do this professionally, I know that’s what you’re all thinking.

Wow, Henry didn’t even put on a nice shirt for us. That’s fine.

We didn’t sing Happy Birthday. He’s lucky he even got a candle! OR A CAKE!!

Anyway, the cake was…fine. I’ve had worse. But it’s no Bethel Bakery. The frosting had the French buttercream texture down pat, but he flavor and sweetness was LACKING big-time.

I know what you’re all wondering right now: WHAT DID YOU GET THE BIG GUY FOR HIS BIRTHDAY? Well, nothing, lol. But listen, listen listen: I’ve been so focused on his Father’s Day gift that I let this one slip by. Trust me, he doesn’t care – he was just happy that we remembered, lol. To be fair though, I did ask him if he wanted to go out to dinner or anything and he said NO. So he had a bowl of yogurt and Sugar Spell Scoops for dinner. Hey, he’s an adult. Whatever.

And he was happy that so many people wished him a happy birthday on Instagram! I think he felt loved :) And he should, because – ugh – he is!

Just think, in three years, Chooch can make a SIXTY THINGS we love about Henry list!

Omg for this edition of Friday Fives, Henry is visiting to tell us about his fave reads of the year! Which* means he will tell me a botched title and then I will try to coax some descriptive words from him while he’s cooking shit for tomorrow’s Christmas dinner and then I’ll do all the typing too.

But sure let’s call it a guest post.

*(wtf I tried to spell this as ‘whitch’ THREE TIMES even though spellcheck was frantically trying to tell me I’m a big stoop.

)

Oh, just a heads up that Henry’s opinions are based off the audiobooks alone. He doesn’t have time to read physical books but he powers through the audio versions while working and I’m so happy that he has been doing this because it’s been so much fun having a built-in book club at home.

Fun fact: Henry’s favorite genre of book is THRILLER. (“Probably,” he added as an afterthought.)

1. Bunny – Mona Awad

“It bas a unique premise.”

2. Bear Town – Frederik Backman

“The story and characters were well-written.

”

See also: Henry has a voice crush on the narrator.

3. Nothing To See Here – Kevin Wilson

“It was a very interesting story….

and it had the same narrator as Bear Town.”

4. House In the Cerulean Sea – TJ Klune

“My favorite character was the antichrist kid.”

5. The Diviners Series – Libba Bray

“I just liked the story and the characters through all the books, I dunno.”

****

Well guys that was literally the most I could pull from his brain. He didn’t even want to do that much and I was screaming JUST GIVE ME ONE FUCKING SENTENCE FOR EACH BOOK THEN OMFG.

So there you have it. If you ever wanted to read like Henry, now you can. Merry Christmas.