Two weekends ago, Henry and I were having a conversation about the new Pope and I got super in my feelings about my Catholic past. I was VERY into it (not like, in culty way) and I actually enjoyed going to CCD every Sunday because to me, learning the Bible stories felt like history. It was entertaining, and also there were donuts in the basement afterward. When we got to the level of Sunday School where tests became a thing, I fucking aced them all. I’m telling you, I ate that shit up like Eve with apple juice dripping down her chin.

And even as a TEENAGER, I looked forward to going to church on Saturday evenings with my Pappap. I mean, 1. I was with my favorite person in the whole world, and 2. we would always go out to dinner afterward haha. My BFF (& Chooch’s godmother) Christy’s family also went to the same church so sometimes Christy would join us for dinner afterward and then sleep over my house and we’d completely unravel all of the church’ing by watching R RATED MOVIES OMG. My favorite was when we would go this Italian restaurant that was called ‘something di Napoli” but we all affectionally called it Naples and my Pappap of course was friends with the owner and the best servers so we got special treatment but the reason I liked it was because I had a HUGE CRUSH on one of the bus boys lol.

ANYWAY! This trip down a dirt lane in my mind’s Jerusalem resulted in me fondly telling Henry about my favorite priest at that Church – Father Salberg. He was AMAZING. He made church interesting and fun, and his sense of humor was incredible. Like a toned-down Robin Williams, if Robin Williams looked like GOD because he is totally how I pictured God to look – barrel-chested, an avuncularly booming voice, huuuuuge beard. This guy was a life-sized hug standing on the altar every week and I looked forward to Communion and then standing in line to shake his hand after mass.

I was surprised to find myself tearing up while I was telling Henry my Father Salberg mems. I started to Google him and, sadly, found his Obituary from 2018. I started to cry (???) but also was kind of shocked to see that my church wasn’t even referenced in any of the bios I found online about him. I remember vividly that he was also a priest at a state pen, and the years he did that overlapped the years he would have been a priest at my church. I think that he must have been doing both at once, and now that I realllly think about it, he may have actually just been an interim priest at my church because I do remember having other priests there and none of them came even close to matching his charisma. This actually is even more telling now that I realize he wasn’t there for more than a year or two, but still had such an impact on me. I will tell you right now, had he still been the acting priest at Nativity when my Pappap died, maybe things would have been different for me. Maybe I’d have actually had someone to talk to. Maybe I wouldn’t have found myself going down a very dark path.

When I saw that Father Salberg is buried in a cemetery about an hour outside of Pittsburgh, I wanted to go. So that is what we did on Sunday, drove to Butler and had actually a nice afternoon at a brewery (more on that later!) and then a walk through Father Salberg’s cemetery.

“This is going to be like finding a needle in a haystack,” Henry said when we got out of the car. I was just about to say that I didn’t necessarily need to find his grave, just wanted to be there, when Henry said, “Wait—-is that it??” Literally 15 seconds into our walk, Henry spotted it! We actually kept walking through because a man was tending to a nearby grave, but then on the way back he was still there, planting flowers. So, I figured I’d just snap a quick photo for my memories and right as I did so, the man’s dog started barking so then it looked like I was taking a picture of him and his dog and I mean, I typically always feel like a creep, but even more so in this moment, haha.

This man was top notch. Remembering all of this almost made me feel inspired to go back to church but I don’t feel like trying them all on to find the one that fits. I have shit to do, etc.

We had a nice little stroll. I made Henry take pictures of me in my new Johnnie Guilbert shirt to send to Chooch who was like, “What.” And then “Ugh.”

I got new Vans! My therapist suggested buying myself something new, like cute shoes or something, to make myself feel better because my self-esteem and vanity have been taking blows lately. I was like immediately *buying shoes, doctor’s orders, it’s prescribed*

It was a beautiful cemetery (Calvary/Northside Cem in Butler) and an even more beautiful day.

We also listened to Johnnie Guilbert and Pierce the Veil exclusively on this day trip and it was crazy nostalgic. I will say that the day didn’t start off great, I was being me (read: difficult/pouty/volatile) but everything turned out ok in the end.  It did make me miss my Pappap an awful lot though.

I’M WRITING THIS ON CHOOCH’S 19TH BIRTHDAY, BTW!!! It feels so strange not getting to celebrate with him in person, and knowing him, none of his Drexel friends even know it’s his birthday. My work group chat wants to pool monies and hire a skywriter to fly over Drexel, lol. “HBD CHOOCH A/K/A RILEY, MOMMY LOVES YOU.”

I did buy him tickets to the Men I Trust concert this September, which as you know, I will always associate with the maybe-dead-body we saw upon leaving the Mattress Factory. :/

Anyway, in lieu of having real time birthday stuff to share on here, here’s some pictures from the second half our day in Philly last Saturday.

I have wanted to check out Laurel Hill Cemetery since years before Chooch started going to college in Philly and it finally happened last weekend! Lucky for Chooch, HENRY left the DSLR at home so the Easter photoshoot I had in my hopes and dreams was dashed – however, Chooch was also sick with a cold so I likely would have let him off the hook anyway. Instead, we just took some casual photos which was still annoying to Chooch.

But come on, dude. Moms need pics of their kids, no matter the age!

I loved this classic hearse! I had to send pictures to my dad who has always been a classic car aficionado. He responded right away with his guess of year – “Neat – looks about a 1948” he replied.

Dude, this donut bag pops up in every picture, I swear. It was even sitting on a wall later on when Chooch was taking pictures of me and Henry “running,” and I had to crop it out. (THAT WAS YESTERDAY’S POST IN CASE YOU MISSED IT.)

If this was Korea, we would have had to wait in line to get these pictures. Trees are famous in Korea! And the ones here in Laurel Hill were poppin’ off this spring. The juxtaposition of decrepit tombstones and bright florals was so my vibe.

FYI – Chooch got that shirt last fall when he won dodgeball or something.

Honestly, I didn’t even know he was sick until halfway during our cemetery walk when was like, “Leave me alone, I’m sick” and I was like, “Wait, you are?” and he was like, “Hello, have you not seen me coughing this entire time??”

All the moms are momming.

Then there’s me.

Me taking dumb selfies and apparently ignoring the symphony of sickn emanating from my child.

Mwah. Chef’s kiss. This place probably looks impeccably macabre on a rainy day, too.

Maybe this is where we’ll take Chooch’s college graduation portraits?!

I love a cem with layers.

Like a cake.

But old and rotted.

I am really so deep in my feelings over this birthday. 19!! This whole past year has made me question life and time every single time. Who am I? What is my purpose now? Just lots of panic and sadness. And confusion.

You can take tours here but we didn’t have enough time. I do know that the Rittenhouse guy is buried here (there is a Rittenhouse building thing in Philly so that’s my only knowledge of him) and the broad who petitioned the government to recognize Thanksgiving as a federal holiday.

I learned this by watching “Philly cemetery” vids on YouTube, which is also how I found a news clip of a recent incident at a local Philly cem where the pallbearers FELL INTO THE BURIAL HOLE and there was a video of it happening which, OK THIS IS NOT TRULY FUNNY, but that sick and dark part of me started cracking up and I sent it to Corey and said, “I AM PICTURING JANNA FALLING INTO AN OPEN GRAVE NOW AND US MAKING HER DO IT OVER SO WE CAN RECORD IT” and he was like, “OMG YES!”

Quick, someone ask Janna to be a pallbearer!!

Chooch in the middle of criticizing / judging / mocking me. Normalcy!

And me in the process of making sure he’s being in an active participant in our MOMMY / SON photo sesh.

Donut bags.

None of us have seen this movie, but maybe you have so this could be interesting to you.

(Who are you?)

This is in the “Millionaires” section.

I Wiki’d this guy for you:

An English American industrialist who founded the Keystone Saw Works in 1840 and developed the surrounding Tacony neighborhood of Philadelphia to build housing for his workers. His company became the Disston Saw Works and was the top manufacturer of hand saws in the United States during the late 19th-century and early 20th century.

Boring.

SERIOUSLY, GO OFF QUEEN!!!

I feel bad that these are in the worst part, butted up against a chainlink fence along a busy road, but here’s some Rocky stuff for you. Chooch mumbled, “I guess I’ll take a picture too, ugh.” LOL.

After this, Chooch got to drive for the first time in Philly. He asked “an undisclosed friend” for some cafe recs and we ended up at Greek from Greece around the corner from his dorm. I got a butterfly pea latte and it was very refreshing! If we hadn’t had donuts, I’d have definitely gotten something from the dessert display there. They had orange pie! Next time. Next time.

I didn’t think so, but thank you, Mirror.

And that concludes another visit with Chooch!

WHO BTW JUST SENT ME THESE PICTURES AFTER I BEGGED HIM TO MAKE PICTURES OF JANNA FALLING INTO A GRAVE!!!!!

She looks so happy! “Wheeee!” Also, the way her torso and legs are facing opposite directions is sending me!

Philly is not exactly considered a “day trip” for most Pittsburghers, as it takes a good 4.5 – 5 hours by car. Yet somehow, we have done this approx. 5 times in the last 6 months. It is effing exhausting but worth it to get a few hours of quality time with Chooch. (If you ask him, he will likely drop the ‘quality’ and just call it ‘time’ haha, annoying parents.) Ideally, we would have liked to have spent the whole weekend there, but we are going away to Detroit this weekend and:

• $$$
• hate leaving Penelope overnight for two weekends in a row

So, a quick Saturday trip it was! The drive there was relatively uneventful. Sheetz stop for breakfast where I flipped out and cried, “EVERY TIME I TURN AROUND THERE ARE MEN IN MY WAY! MEN ARE EVERYWHERE I NEED TO BE!” and Henry was about to say “calm down,” I could tell. But he thought better of it and instead said, “What do you need, I’ll get it for you” – NICE TRY! This just made me even more angry and I shouted, “I CAN DO IT MYSELF!”

In case you were wondering, I needed coffee in a bigly way but there were MEN at the coffee area, stinking it up with waves of toxic masculinity, and then every time I turned a corner – MORE FUCKING MEN.

I really wanted to rip my skin off. Or theirs.

OK, theirs. LOL.

Then Waze was like, “Hi, here is a new way for you to try, apropos of nothing” and it ended up taking us through some park with lots of lollygagging drivers, but we finally arrived at Chooch’s dorm around 1:00!

I was so excited because ever since the first time we went to Drexel for a visit last April, I have been obsessed with this cute breakfast/lunch spot called SABRINA’S. I guess there are numerous locations around town but the one on Drexel’s campus is by far the most aesthetic because of the sweet ass Victorian house in which the millennial brunch classics are whipped up.

We had about a 20 minute wait so Chooch took us around the corner to some campus market thing that he goes to a lot, just a convenience store thing where he can use his Dragon dollars (OMG this just gave me a flashback to when I went to Pitt as a non-trad student and begged my mom to add cash to my Panther card so I could use it in the vending machines and she was like, “ha ha” but I was serious). Anyway, the older woman cashier was all, “HEY BABY!” to Chooch and then she chuckled and said, “I KNOW I’LL SEE YOU LATER” because he evidently is a REGULAR there and also, I am aware that the way I wrote this makes it sound like she is predatory but she was sincerely just a very jovial woman.

I loved how everywhere we went around campus, people knew Chooch. He’s branching out, you guys. I love that for him!

Then we were sitting outside of Sabrina’s waiting for our table and a group of old ladies walked past, but one stopped dead in her tracks and exclaimed, “OH I LOVE YOUR SHOES!” but it was DIRECTED AT CHOOCH, NOT ME. Chooch gets all the attention in Philly!!! I am just the shadow in the background there. It’s fine, I’m OK with that.

(Am I though? Currently plotting my outfit/accessories for our next visit. Must upstage him.)

THAT LOOK OF DISDAIN, DO YOU THINK HE MISSED ME?

I loved everything about Sabrina’s. It’s small and our table right in the flight path of the servers, but it still somehow felt cozy and delightful. Every staff member we interacted with was beyond friendly. And the menu is so veg/vegan friendly! I had the hardest time choosing what I wanted. I thought for sure it was going to be the banh mi because I had studied the menu online prior to our visit and even sent Chooch a screenshot of it.

“That looks good,” he replied, and I was shocked because it was one of those rare moments where he was acting like an adult and not a kid who is perpetually annoyed and embarrassed of his parent.

But then we got there and the actual menu seemed larger than the one online, so my options began to expand until I finally settled on the OG Vegan bowl with tofu, boy-o.

Henry got the Korean bowl (it came with chicken and didn’t have sub options like some of the other menu items so I didn’t want to be difficult by asking) and POLENTA FRIES, and Chooch got some kind of omelet. We were all content.

After lunch, we drove to Dottie’s Donuts – we went to a different location YEARS ago and I’m happy that they’re still around. I know none of us our vegan but when the options are there, I will take it so I always like to look for vegan spots when we’re on road trips. While we were at lunch, Dottie’s most recent post came up in my IG feed and it was a table-thumping moment for me.

“The special donut this weekend at Dottie’s is BAKLAVA.”

“I guess we’re going to Dottie’s,” Henry sighed as though he wasn’t secretly getting hot for donuts.

Dude, this fucker was bussin’. I was sad that once again I made poor choices and said I would share this with Henry. What an unbelievable life fail. We took our bounty to the Laurel Hill Cemetery (separate post to come!) and Henry is so lucky that I was feeling a modicum of love for him at the time because he immediately walked over to the office to use the bathroom, leaving me alone with this bad boy which I could have easily inhaled in three bites, but I somehow managed to stop myself at the halfway mark.

(This is also mostly because I have been feeling super down on myself re: old lady weight gain this past year, and actually much less to do with any spousal love haha.)

Anyway, we also got a Thai tea donut to share, and Chooch got two of his own – also a Thai tea and a vanilla frosted I think. Excellent, chewy donuts in a beautiful setting in perfect spring weather with my favorite people back together again.  I couldn’t have been happier.

Hi while I’m sitting here before bed in a “refreshing red bean pore mask” from Beauty of Joseon, I figured I’d post some pics of Henry and me at Homewood Cem from after lunch. It was such a beautiful day.

Also, I found this sweater in my closet a few weeks ago and was glad it was just chilly enough to get away with wearing it today. Honestly though my closet needs a professional to come in and shape it up.

The other parts of today were just super chill and nice. Read some of my book, watched an episode of Home Economics which started to auto-play after I watched the most recent ep of Abbott Elementary. I had no idea that this was on for three seasons I guess?! Literally never heard of it until Hulu was like “no don’t go.” Two eps in and I don’t know if I like it.

Also, this Canadian/Korean couple I love on YouTube posted a new video where the wife’s brother visited them in Korea for the first time she’s been living there (12 or 14 years I think?!) and I literally started crying really hard like I have any personal connection to this AT ALL and then that feeling carried over during our walk in the Cem so I cried there too and then also cried about Bambi so I’m doing well, lol. No seriously I think I am ok just, when it hits it hits, you know.

After dinner we walked to CVS to get Chooch some stuff for his Easter basket and on the way back, a super intoxicated man was shambling bigly on the other side of the street and I was just about to call 9/11 because he had stepped out really far into the street a few times and I already saw one maybe-dead person in the last 30 days, please let’s not add to it. But then he turned onto a side street that only has like 5 houses so I can only hope one was his.

(“U SHOULD HAVE FOLLOWED HIM AND MADE SURE HE GOT HOME SAFELY” someone is probably judging right now and ok fine I have no excuse other than I’m fucking tired of it.)

Then I made Henry do a Paul Eugene workout with me and we finished the night by watching YouTube videos of people going to NK for the first time in 5 years under the guise of running a marathon and that’s a nope for me. We all know where my allegiance lay.

On that note, I have a recap coming up soon about seeing my once-fave band for the first time in 15 years but my heart isn’t ready for that yet lol. Peace out, weekend warriors. :(

I splurged in December and bought myself this precious coat from Unlogical Poem (one of my favorite online clothing shops if you just know) but because I’m a loser, I have only worn it out of the house once but it was just to Corey’s house for Christmas Eve and I can promise you not a soul there commented on the rustic beauty of this coat’s design.

My hair looked ok today (my face, eh, that’s another story, thanks Saturday afternoon beer fest) so when Henry and I decided to go for a walk* I said, “OK don’t panic but I want to wear my chicken coat and you can take pictures of me.” Henry was not a fan of this plan but I recently made him watch a tutorial on how to get dad’s ok at taking pictures and he followed it to a T!

* (the temperature was deceptive!!! It was so much colder than 36 degrees, I was crying at one point but then feared my tears would freeze to my contacts so I reeled it in

We went to Calvary Cem which is usually lacking foot traffic but of-fucking-course everyone and their mail carrier was out and about. Even bicyclists. So annoying.

You guys though this coat is my everything.

And I think it looks cute with my pink Vans!

“Now take one of me pretending to be cold even though I’m not pretending.” Honestly my hands were pinker than my shoes by the time we got back to the car, it was so bad. And for some reason, for as many times as we come to this particular cemetery, we always end up on the path that takes us the farthest away from the car so the walk back was brutal.

At the time I bought this, it was the only one of the site and then it was immediately marked “sold out.” I know I have seen other pieces of clothing on their site using this fabric but I think this particular coat was OOAK which makes even special-er.

(I WONDER IF G-DRAGON WOULD LIKE THIS.)

But yeah, if there are two things to note about me it’s that I love having cool coats and immature purses (some purchased from the kids section of Target, no shame in my purse game).

We I needed to get the fuck out of the house – January is so suffocating. I can’t breathe. Cold. Gray. Wet. Ugh.

So we picked up some buns at Pink Box and then did a quick walking tour at the cemetery before the gates closed.

“TAKE PICTURES OF ME,” I demanded. “I HAVE NO BLOG CONTENT.” Seriously, what am I supposed to be recapping? Every day is the same. Work was annoying and stressful. I got mad about something. Made a shitty lunch. Drank too much coffee. Exercised. Ate soup. Watched k-content. Bed.

Snooze alert.

No commentary or captions other than: it’s us at the cemetery. The end.

Yo, what a nice weekend. Henry and I spent a nice amount of time outside, which is always GOOD FOR THE SOUL or whatever someone with a collection of Rae Dunn cups would say. Saturday was decent enough but it was hot off the heels of some pretty heavy raining, and we admittedly picked a dumb locale for a walk that afternoon – Schenley Park, which has sand-like trails so we were dodging puddles left and right. ANYWAY, I wouldn’t have included this in here at all except that as we were walking, we found car keys on the trail by the soccer field. Henry scooped them up, I guess because he figured it would be safer than leaving them on the ground and also because he thought they probably belonged to one of the joggers who had splattered past us in the mud.

Sure enough, some lady who was actually parked in front of us eventually started jogging over to us and panted, “You didn’t happen to see car—” and Henry held the key up for her to take.

“Oh my god!” she cried. “I said to myself, ‘I’m gonna ask these ppl over there’ and thank god I did!” and we were like, “<good natured lip service>” but really in my head I was like WOW MUST BE NICE TO LOSE SOMETHING AND THEN GET IT BACK.

So then I whined about my missing ring for pretty much the rest of our walk. Picked up Chooch from his game design class at Pitt, stopped at Grim Wizard for a chai but then ended up getting a Vlad the Impaler latte instead and it was OK but had a bit too much strong flavors swirling up in it.

Not too much else happened on Saturday. Oh, we went to Kohl’s which has become one of my least favorite places in the world but I needed to find a top to wear with a skirt I got for my not-wedding and it ended up OK but I just truly hate shopping, I think.

The weather on Sunday was much more beautiful than Saturday though and I was rearin’ to go. This time I chose Monongahela Cemetery because it’s been a few years since I was last there with Chooch the day we went out without a chaperone to geocache. 

We stopped at a Sheetz down the street first so I could pee and I found a pair of sunglasses hanging in the stall! SO I TURNED THEM IN TO SOMEONE AT THE CHECK-OUT.

WHY COULDN’T SOMEONE TURN MY RING IN??

(Ugh I honestly spent all weekend reliving that night.)

(Yeah-yeah that’s me, linking back to one post ago like a loser.)

Anway. Ugh. What a nice day.

Ew, you can see Henry BANDAID in this picture. He started to tell me what the cause of his injury was but it had something to do with a car seat of a truck and it fell on his arm and UGH I started screaming because I think I was picturing this to be way worse in my mind because Henry was doing a poor job explaining it so I had to fill in the gaps with my mental Play-Doh Factory of worst case scenarios.

Of course, we mainly talked about K<3REA.

AND THEN I

SAID THAT’S

THE ONE THING WE’VE GOT

(Hate that song, actually, so I’m thrilled for myself that it popped in my head just now.)

You guys! I couldn’t tell if this raccoon was dead or just sleeping!?! Henry said it was definitely sleeping but I couldn’t see that he was breathing and I was so freaked out.

That was a nice hour of sunshine and acting like morons.

Then we drove a few towns over to CHARLEROI and had lunch at some place called Perked Up cafe. The vibe of the place was decent – I mean, we were so far removed from ThE bIg CiTy that this wasn’t a magnet for Instagram Influedouchers.

I was sad though because I must have been looking at old menu and the AVOCADO TOMATO sandwich I was eyeballing wasn’t on the actual menu board there :( The cashier suggested just getting the avocado toast with tomato but I had it in my head that the retired sandwich was meant* to be actual slices of avocado and tomato on a sandwich, son. Not smashed avocado. :( So instead I got the spinach & artichoke on marbled rye and let me just tell you that the bread was the best part because the stuff between the slices was scant and lacked absolutely all flavor. And for $10!!!! Jesus Christ. I abhor making sandwiches but you better trust that even I would have made this better.

*(I had a friend who moved away from Pgh many many many years ago and she would always say “meant” instead of “supposed,” for example: “You were meant to turn there.” I would get angry and scoff, ”Stop talking like you’re British!” So, good job triggering yourself, Erin.)

I mean, I still ate it though because I was fucking hunggggy.

Henry kept raving about his cold brew and I was like, “Calm down, guy, it’s not that special.” For instance, I got a French Toast latte it tasted like neither French nor toast nor French toast. I didn’t hate it, and I somehow didn’t hate the place in general. But I was still fucking hunggggy when we left.

LOL you’re welcome.

Saturday afternoon was pretty mild for February so Henry and I went to Highwood Cemetery in Northside after my Zenith lunch with Kara. I really liked the sweater I was wearing (it’s from Lala!) so I was like, “Take pictures of me doing stuff and don’t fuck it up.” Henry said, “OH BOY, MAY I??” because nothing makes us fight with more fiery fervor than photo assignments.

This day wasn’t TOO bad, though.

I usually just direct myself.

“What should I do? This?” I ask, noodling my limbs.

“Sure, Erin,” Henry mumbles with a Science teacher sigh.

“Let’s take a picture of our mustaches,” I cried, grabbing my phone from him.

“Wha–” Henry never has any idea what is going on.

Guys, in case you were ever curious where Henry’s infamous TED TALK about MOSS took place, it was at this cemetery, so long ago that Chooch didn’t even exist yet.

Moss is bad, just leave it at that!

The filter I used on this makes it look like I have on some sick lipstick. Also: “What should I do with my hands? This?”

“Sure, Erin.”

Literally SO SCARED the moment I jumped from the third step. THE THIRD STEP. Loves roller coasters, yet constantly being afraid of the most non-heights imaginable. I know this stems from being abandoned in a treehouse as a child!!!!

Anyway, I over-compensated in anticipation of a hard landing and somehow hurt my shoulder?!

I feel like my hair was v. similar to this when I was a high school year, too. Well, minus the grays lol.

“I can only hope you fall,” Henry said, forever jealous of my SICK balancing tricks.

“Do I look precious??” I asked through my fake smile.

“Mmm,” Henry grunted, managing to pack in a family-sized carton of disgust into that half syllable. Then he lost his balance and almost face-planted from a squat position. I WISH HE WOULD HAVE.

(I may have played a part in him losing balance.)

Anyway, here’s a 20 second collection of some of these live pictures, where you can see me, in real time, realizing the moment I jumped off the steps that it could have been the fast track to a broken ankle, tweaked back, etc.

We had a really nice weekend together so when absolutely nothing happens on Valentine’s Day, I’ll try to let this be a consolation. (LOL you already know that’s untrue – THIS BITCH IS GONNA THROW A FIT.)

When I came here to update the dumb blog just now, I accidentally clicked on my “about me” page and el yikes-etta that bitch is so obsolete. I should probably update it but who even cares. I keep hearing that “blogging is making a comeback” so maybe.

OMG speaking of blogging, I just flashed back to when I was an active participate on this website called BLOG FROG which was meant to be a community for bloggers to make friends but it was 99% mommy bloggers and when I tell you I didn’t fit in…

I still used to sign up for these things called “blog hops” though which was where you would join what was essentially a blog chain where you be put on a list and everyone on the list would go to everyone’s blog that day and leave a comment but it was SO APPARENT that most of the bitches weren’t even reading the blog posts and were just leaving stale comments such as “STOPPING BY FROM BLOGFROG” and that was so infuriating. It cracks me up and also pisses me off when I go back to past blog posts and stumble upon these generic-ass comments from MOMMY MARY IN MEMPHIS or whatever.

Most of them don’t even blog anymore!

BUT HERE I AM, OUT-BLOGGING THEM ALL.

Well, now that I got that fun memory purged from my system, may I present to you a series of photos from today? We are finally sort of not tied to home projects so it was nice to get out of the house for a bit. First, we went to SugarSpell to pick up our pints and also snagged a Love You to Death sundae to share as sort of a belated Valentine’s Day date thingie.

It was so delicious! Chocolate / coffee / vanilla scoops, chocolate fudge, chocolate dirt, whipped cream, and chocolate skull cakes from a bakery they recently partnered with. I love their sundaes so much but when I know that I’m going to have one, I usually make sure I skip a meal which is GREAT RIGHT, BUY MY FUTURE DIET BOOK CALLED “HOW TO FUCK UP YOUR BODY 87 DIFFERENT WAYS DON’T CONSULT A DOCTOR FIRST.”

43 and still having the food-strugs. It’s fine. I’m fine. LOL ugh.

Anyway, we ate the sundae in a grocery store parking lot before going to the nearby Burger King to grab an Impossible Whopper for our invalid son who was home and wouldn’t have come with us anyway even if he wasn’t on crutches. #ThatAge

That banana bread one might be my new bae.

RETROWAVE INTERMISSION:

We came home to feed Chooch and put the ice cream away, and I panicked because I hadn’t seen any of my Buddys since YESTERDAY AFTERNOON. You guys, there are at least 6 of them that live in the trees in our backyard and are there every single day, WHERE DID THEY GO?? There were three Mr Gray Guys out and about all day so that’s good but the Buddyless trees has been very concerning.

We did end up seeing two later in the day PLUS A VISIT FROM MY BEST GIRL BUDDY who was outside screaming because she wanted food and then she climbed up the side of our house when I opened the backporch window and met me halfway as I hung out with a peanut. I fucking love her. We hung out in the backyard for a bit while she frantically ran around burying all the peanuts I gave her. My favorite thing is how gently she places her paw on my hand to steady herself when she stands up.

Ok anyway!!! Henry and I left again later in the afternoon to go for a stroll at Calvary cem because it was nearly 60 degrees! I was finally able to wear the sweater duster he bought me for Xmas and made him take pictures of me in it even though I have been feeling pretty disgusting body-image wise lately. I know I need to get over it. No one gives a shit what I look like and I shouldn’t either.

We always have a nice time at Calvary Cem. It’s one of the few cems left that isn’t overrun by annoying joggers, etc. since cemeteries became so popular during the pandemic. I am still so angry that my beloved Homewood Cemetery is SO FUCKING CROWDED every time we go there now. I almost suggested that we go there today but then stopped myself because we were having a nice day and I didn’t want to ruin that with ANGER.

I always get so mad at Henry for taking shitty pictures of me but then I have to remind myself that he is taking normal pictures of a shitty-faced person, lol.

This one would be my favorite if he hadn’t cut off part of my shoe!!

I dunno – he was taking practice shots but I thought my hair looked cool here so I kept it.

Here I am in the middle of saying something profound I’m sure, like later when I told Henry that his butt is a mausoleum and then lamented the fact that I don’t have a band (or any musical abilities) because I just knew in my heart that this would be a great song.

FALL VIBES IN FEB.

ACTION SHOT of me standing up / turning / trying not to lose my balance.

Yeah so anyway, I really love this duster. It is the most cozy and soft plus super …

what’s better than mid? Max. It is the max.

I’m glad Henry bought it for me after I sent it to him 27032740924820358340975 times on Instagram last fall and said GET ME THIS NOW OR FOR XMAS. He opted “FOR XMAS” which was fine but just so you know, NOW is always the best choice.

(I said that to the tune of Hot Child in the City for some reason and now I feel uncomfy.)

You guys, what a great November Saturday! I spent most of the morning / afternoon getting my hair done, so I was dying to go for a walk when I came home. Luckily, Henry was doing fuck all and accompanied me. (Literally, what did he do while I was gone?!)

I will say that I was happy to be able to regale my HARROWING CHAINSAW ACCOUNT with my stylist and some other gals in the salon – they were HORRIFIED and I said, “THANK YOU THAT IS THE CORRECT RESPONSE” *side eyes Henry*

When I got out of bed this morning, my other ankle actually hurt too from all the hardwork it put into its supporting role last night. And the Academy Award for best supporting actor goes to…

ERIN’S LEFT ANKLE.

I was sitting on the chair on the back porch today and Drew walked behind my legs and BRUSHED AGAINST THE ANKLE IN ALL OF ITS BANDAGED GLORY and the way I screamed.

Oh Sally, the way I screamed.

Easily one of the top 10 most traumatic moments of my life (that annoying bray is Henry laughing in a dark corner).

Anyway, I like my hair! I wanted subtle purple and my stylist Carly was like, “let’s experiment and see how well your hair will take the color without having to go platinum” and it came out good! So next time we will do it more intense.

Other than that, I had a grand time playing with the squirrels in the backyard (one of the babies is SO CLOSE to eating out of my hand!) and now if you don’t mind, I need to go and eat my dinner, thanks.

Please allow me to get a little out of order here and skip ahead to our Sunday evening in Hollis, New Hampshire, where we stopped to stroll about an old ass cemetery. In Pittsburgh, we don’t have any that are *this* old obviously so I was glad for this chance to ogle some 18th century tombstones, after a full day of Famous Diner’ing, Kpop shopping, ice creaming, apple orchard walking – all of which I will get to soon!

1743!!!!

Blending in!

We all split up and quietly observed the history. I was looking for either mine or Chooch’s birthdates because that’s what we do when we go on walks in cemeteries here and whoever spots theirs first wins. I didn’t see any 7/30 or 4/25, sadly :(

We were obsessed with the fact that GEORGEHENRY’s headstone was bigger than his parents and his dad was A DOCTOR! Probably the ONLY DOCTOR, even!

“What’s that finger-pointing symbol mean? I’m #1?” I asked, only moderately joking.

Hennry googled it and it apparently means that he’s going up to Heaven so I guess he’s the only one, because no one else had that.

Michael Myers in the Cemetery stance.

This one was my favorite.

I love how thin the headstones were back then.

Henry and I actually bonded a little over our shared disgust at the FONT that some of these headstones used, where the S looked like an F.

HIDEOUS.

DISGUSTING!

Repulsive.

We were obsessed with this one because there was a 40-something age difference between these two.

Abigail and Ebenezer – classic.

DEATH BY ACCIDENTAL CANNON DISCHARGE, zzzzzzoinkers.

Lydia is such a great fucking name. Lydia and Enoch. I wonder if they were a fun couple, getting drunk on boot juice and spreading rumors about who has syphilis.

Man, this was a really peaceful, quiet interlude to an excellent weekend. I’m glad that it’s something we call could experience and appreciate together!

Saturday was a pretty chill day. For alibi purposes, here is what went down:

I spent a million hours at the salon getting babylights. I went to a new-to-me place called Bad Apple because my friend goes there and posted about it on Insta and I was like, “That place sounds nice and the name matches my tattoo” so I made an appt because the last place I went was only out of convenience and being panicked about going back to work after two years of WFH’ing and I needed something done FAST.

I liked it but they only did partial highlights without me even realizing what was going on and the gray coverage was NOT good – the whole front of my head was like a billboard for gray hair recognition! And the broad who did my hair was not really my style. She was more like, Big Hat at Coachella vibes and I wasn’t comfortable with that.

I’m picky. We all should be when it comes to our hair!

Anyway, I really liked Bad Apple a lot and the girl who did my hair (Carly) was SO CHILL and easy to talk to. Definitely my type of person. My hair isn’t like, IN YOUR FACE, different since I only just recently had highlights done, but she did a full highlight and blended and toned it SO WELL. I didn’t even need a cut and she was gushing about how healthy my hair is and that like, never happens, so I am crediting that to Vegamour (which I was going to cancel but now I’m like SHOULD I??) and Jennifer Aniston’s Lolavie product line.

After spending nearly all day in The Chair (9:30 – 2ish ugh this is why I’m like the ONLY GIRL in the world who does not enjoy going to the salon. Sitting still is not in my wheelhouse), I came home and scarfed down a quick salad and then Henry and I went to Allegheny Cemetery so I could walkwalkwalkwalkwalkwalkwalk.

We took this to send to our AWOL son.

Shortly after, I saw a fun photo op and asked, tentatively, for Henry to help me achieve said shot. Of course, he blundered it bigly, resulting in A Fight because honestly his lack of even the basic, most RUDIMENTARY photo skills drives me nuts. So then he had the audacity to get mad at me for getting mad at him and I was like YOU KNOW WHAT, JUST LEAVE AND PICK ME UP LATER and then I performed a perfectly-timed storm-off down a brick path while he stayed on the road.

I made sure I waited a long time before tossing a furtive glance over my shoulder to see if he was following me.

HE WAS NOT.

Which equal parts pleased and angered me.

THIS IS CHOOCH’S NEVER SHOUT NEVER SHIRT :(

Well I was off on my own, I paused to take some pictures of my new Korean Vans <3. I’d like to point out that they were shipped from South Korea on a Sunday, and I had them on my feet by the following Wednesday.

South Korea does NOT fuck around with shipping. When you hear expats saying that South Korea has THE BEST delivery service, believe.

Meanwhile, Henry was commenting whiny things on my Instagram for all to see and I was like OMFG this man is so desperate so I made my way back to the car and then he had to play his little hiding game with me which is so annoying. I should have just left him there – I had my car key on me….

…but not my house key. Dammit, I’m always missing something!

I felt bad for Henry because he clearly cannot survive without me so I accepted his groveling apology but only because I wanted to go to the Grant in Millville because it’s been years since we had a slice of the best coconut cream pie in at least the whole state if not the UNIVERSE.

We got there right when they opened at 4, us and all the Olds! We were relegated to the BACK ROOM which isn’t as woodsy and Bavarian-esque as the main dining room so I was pissed. I guess we weren’t OF AGE enough. (Henry probably was but then I lowered the average.)

I like this picture up there though because Henry sort of looks like he’s smiling at me. Smrobly a fluke though.

We decided to get dinner while we were there too even though we weren’t really hungry but it’s a good thing that we did because our food took a really long time to come out – I didn’t mind so much because we didn’t have any where we needed to be and this was basically just helping us build up an appetite, but our waitress was so stressed about this delay and she kept reporting back to us and making sure we were properly hydrated. I fucking LOVED her. Honestly, we didn’t care about the wait at all because we were super engrossed in receiving updates from Chooch (this was when he was suffering through the off-the-cuff vegetarian burrito made from pineapples and cactus, lol) and we were obsessed with the ongoing plight of the young host/busboy who kept trying to sit down and take a break in the corner only to immediately be summoned. My favorite part was when he tried to seat people in our dumb room and one of the waitresses came back to say, “They want to sit in the front room.” He went back to retrieve the menus from the table and as he walked past us to go back to the front room, I heard him huff under his breath, “of course they do.” It was fantastic.

Anyway, our waitress ended up comping us one of the slices of coconut cream and I was like, “This was not necessary – Henry leave her a giant tip” but when she came back with the check, she wisely gave it to me which was good because Henry is a shitty tipper.

Oh man, we ended up so stuffed from eating a dinner that we weren’t really hungry for but that pie man. THAT PIE. It is a religious experience. I am a FIRM believer in the Book of Whipped Topping Coco-Cream. Meringue is for pariahs.

Waiting for Henry to pee on the way out. This is the room I wanted to sit in. :(

HENRY, POST-PEE.

Well, those were the highlights of the day. We came home and spent most of the evening rearranging Chooch’s room. We really want to have that fucking attic cleaned out and painted before he comes back so it can be an extension of his room (like the lounge area) but I don’t think that’s happenin’ hot stuff.

After a not great week, I felt like getting Onion Maiden brunch on Saturday in an effort to start the weekend off on the right foot. Spoiler: It was a success. Originally, I just wanted the ube creme brulee donut but then I saw the kabocha tamales on the brunch menu and it just escalated from there.

Henry also got ube donut holes and Chooch got a panini…it was a great Saturday morning, honestly.

Mmmm, ube.

I love that ube is getting to be so popular lately because it’s one of my fave flavs, along with pandan. OK maybe I’m being color-biased, but they’re really great tastes too! In fact, we officially are resurrecting the beloved PIE PARTY this fall and I have already sent Henry various recipes for both ube and pandan pies. Let’s get it.

Oh! Earlier that morning on our walk to the post office, Henry found a phone on the sidewalk and I was cracking up because this is the second time he’s found a phone in that same area (ROSS’S BLACKBERRY, ANYONE??). He charged it once we got home and was convinced it was a little girl’s phone because the pop socket was floral so he made me call the emergency contact number (in the phone as WIFEY/BEST FRIEND) but I kept getting messages from the service provider asking me to enter my PIN.

There was so other information that we could access so it became a waiting game of WHEN WILL SOMEONE CALL.

Finally, about two hours after finding the phone, someone called! It sounded like kid, like a middle school boy, and I legit could barely hear him so I wasn’t even sure who he asked for before I went into my frantic tale of WE FOUND THIS PHONE, HELP US RETURN IT. The person was like, “OK I CAN COME GET IT WHERE R U” and I described the part of Brookline I live and was just about to readily DOXX myself when I suddenly came to my senses and said, “Can we meet at the CVS in Brookline?” They said yes and that they would call me when they were on their way, in like 30 minutes.

“You’re not going by yourself,” Henry mumbled like OK hero, suddenly trying to steal my thunder after putting the onus on me. I did all the legwork! All he did was bend over and pick the damn thing up off the ground!

Immediately after this, the phone rang again and I think it might have been WIFEY but it was soooo awkward because I couldn’t understand them, like they had a stocking over their face and were talking into a pillow. I tried to explain sitch and said, “But someone is helping me get the phone back so…” and they were like, “*Charlie Brown teacher-isms*” and I was like, “Cool thanks bye.”

WIFEY.

20 minutes later, I got another call on THE BURNER. It was the OG person, telling me that they were on their way and would be there in 5 minutes, maybe less. They were panting and Henrt was like, “Maybe they’re riding their bike.”

Now I was really getting into phone re-homing mission, imagining a 6th grade furiously pedaling down Brookline Blvd, on their way to get back their GF’s Cricket phone.

Imagine by surprise when we got to CVS and a man in his 40s wearing a Steelers bandanna approached me.

“Are you the phone person?” I asked, as he reached for the phone so I guess that’s a yes.

“Thank you so much! He’s gonna be so happy you found his phone!” he said in his MIDDLE SCHOOL BOY VOICE. OMG I can’t believe I was conversing with a grown man on the phone and not a Brookline Elementary pre-teen. I was stunned.

Then I said you’re welcome and we went our separate ways. The hand-off lasted less than 5 seconds before MIDDLE SCHOOL BOY VOICE was headed back to the Brookline Pub (presumably – he looked like a Brookline day drinker).

After that, I went for a long and glorious walk in Jefferson Memorial where I started listening to Yerba Buena (finished it today and REALLY loved it more than I weas expecting to) and was handed a JESUS PAMPHLET by some old bitch in a Cadillac.

Henry and I were going to see Jurassic World later that night but ended up staying in because I had too much nervous energy to sit in a theater. It was actually a really great day all around, a pre-gamer for what would end up being one of the best Sundays I’ve had in quite some time BUT YOU WILL HAVE TO COME BACK FOR THAT.

(Because it’s 90 degrees and I want to go to bed, lol.)

My brain must use up every last ounce of positive energy I have as it tries to keep me alive/afloat during the long winter months, that come June, I have nothing left to give. This happens every year, like clockwork, where I just feel so down and drained, I fixate on every last tiny flaw and inadequacy about me, and my patience is at a deficit.

Is it seasonal depression, because that seems pretty fucked to get depressed every June, of all months. Oh well. Just putting that out there so it doesn’t appear that all I do is ride roller coasters and have fun. Because the in-between exists, too. You know. I’m hoping that going to see Stray Kids at the end of the month will give me a much-needed wellness adjustment. This body needs a kpop concert.

Here’s a picture of one of my emotional support cats, Drew.

That being said, today was decent. We went to ShadoBeni (they have a brick & mortar location now!) for lunch takeout. If you live in Pittsburgh, even if you aren’t vegan or vegetarian, you gotta try it. It’s Trinidad food and the guy who runs the joint is just really cool and the food is yummo. LOL just kidding, I would never say that. I would say that the food is delicious, like a normal person would say.

Chooch actually came with us! Last night was his last night at McDonalds so we have him back on weekends again! Before we left though, he was cutting the grass so moronically while Henry was out there yelling at him that people walking by our house actually slowed down to laugh. I mean, I was laughing too, as I watched from the window. First of all, he insisted to cut on the diagonal in an effort to put lines in the yard but we have shitty city grass which is approx. 60% weeds so this was an impossible feat to accomplish.

Anyway, we got our lunch and took it down the street to the nearby Uniondale Cemetery which I have not been to since I WRECKED THE CAR THERE last October. Henry smirked at me when I quietly pointed out the SCENE OF THE CRIME, because Chooch, not paying attention in the backseat, still doesn’t know The Truth and thinks that Henry wrecked the car by being foolish and irresponsible.

LOL.

Dude. I got the SEA MOSS PUNCH not knowing wtf a sea moss is and it was unexpectedly delightful! First, it reminded me of a chunky horchata. Then, I was like NO THIS IS LIKE SIKHYE which is a traditional Korean sweet rice punch in the same vein as horchata. But the more I drank, the more it was tasting like if polenta was a bev.

That is to say, this might be my new favorite refreshment. Except that when I finished it, it looked like remnants of infant vomit was coating the sides of the cup, but I can overlook that if you can.

DOUBLES! If you haven’t had doubles, you need to fix that STAT. We actually had this for Thanksgiving last year, courtesy of ShadoBeni’s Thanksgiving home assembly kit thingie.

Also got some coconut bake with sorrel jelly. I could have eaten a whole loaf (?) of this but instead I shared my order with CHOOCH who realized after the fact that he would have liked to have ordered it too, ugh. I seriously wouldn’t share my food with anyone else, he is so lucky that I have some maternal instinct left in me.

Can we just talk about these dumb shoes for a second? You know I’m not one to ever shy away from outrageous/flamboyant fashion choices, and I think it’s solely just because these are CROCS and I associate them with one of the worst people I have ever worked with: TINA who had a mullet, referred to cars exclusively as “vehicles,” and wore country concert t-shirts to work WITH CROCS.

So in my head, TINAs wear CROCS.

But apparently Crocs are having their moment. I have no idea why, but I see seemingly cool/trendy people in their $$$ streetwear at amusement parks, but then they have ugly ass Crocs on their feet. And I guess those dumb Croc pins or whatever the fuck they are called are like a whole thing. My friend Nate said that his niece has Crocs and those dumb jibbets or whatever cost more than the actual Crocs.

All I can figure is that a rapper or some idiot influencer must have worn a pair ironically at some point, thus causing a craze because they are literally infiltrating walkways all over the country and I actually hate it.

So when Chooch was like “I’m getting these carrot Crocs” and I saw that they cost SEVENTY FIVE DOLLARS, ya’ll, I was like, “YOU, MY GUY, ARE A FUCKING IDIOT.” But hey, it’s his McMoney. So he bought them and got his buddy to also buy a pair and now they’re an idiot duo.

I told my work friends about this yesterday in our group chat and there was a divide: half of them were like EFF NO TO CROCS and the other side were like DON’T KNOCK THE CROC(s). I admitted that it wasn’t the carrot thing that was the deal-breaker for me, it was the Crocs themselves, and that if there were carrot Vans, I would 100% wear them fearlessly.

“Vans are my God-tier brand of shoes,” I said in the chat, to which one of the pro-Crocs people said she couldn’t wrap her head around Vans and the other Croc-head said that “Vans are the new style, Crocs are the hippy-style.”

Nate immediately side-chatted me and was like, “VANS ARE LIKE, FROM THE 60s THO??” and I was all fired up about this but then didn’t have any energy left to care. This week was short yet long.

But I would like to say here for sanity’s sake that CROCS ARE FROM THE EARLY 2000s.

VANS ARE FROM 1966.

Anyway, if anyone can rock carrot Crocs with aplomb and confidence, it’s Chooch. So, good for you, Chooch.

Anyway, after we ate I needed to do a lap around the cem for digestive purposes, but also because I had a morbid desire to see the thing I ran into last October. Henry was like, “Wow, you can see the paint from the car on it, good job,” and luckily Chooch was waiting for us by the car so it’s still A Secret.

And that’s the main stuff that happened today, on this very low-key Saturday, aside from: more yard work, driving around looking for a notary that’s opened on Saturdays now that Chooch’s renewed passport is finally here and we have some final paperwork to submit for his study abroad thing, and buying plants at Lowe’s.

Henry had lots of chores to do today but the weather was pretty nice out so I allowed to him to take me out to play. Knowing him, he’d have rather stayed home and worked, but I had to get away from the House of Unruly Spawn next door. Also, I really wanted a SMOOTHIE BOWL from Salud in Shadyside.

I love smoothie bowls so much.

Anyway, here are some pictures of us in the cemetery because you have never seen pictures of us in the cemetery before.

This is a brand new concept.

“DOES THIS LOOK OK?” I yelled to Henry, who *grumble*d in response.

I mean I just really don’t know what else to do with myself.

I was probably saying something stupid here because he doesn’t just ever *smile* when we take selfies.

I took this one first but then I was like WAIT I WANT MY NCT DREAM PIN TO BE OPEN SO YOU CAN SEE THEM and Henry was like *grumble*.

“Take a picture of me sitting with this bitch,” I said and Henry was like *grumble*.

I dunno what this is. “Landing Pose” I guess.

I decided today that I want to be buried by my grandparents at Jefferson Memorial, and Henry can just be dumped in the pond.

Also, we saw ZERO squirrels.

This is all I have for you today. I am super irritable due to the fact that I am perioding while simultaneously living next to Kindercare.

P.S. Henry peed over the hill behind me.