Mar 042024
 

Yo, what a nice weekend. Henry and I spent a nice amount of time outside, which is always GOOD FOR THE SOUL or whatever someone with a collection of Rae Dunn cups would say. Saturday was decent enough but it was hot off the heels of some pretty heavy raining, and we admittedly picked a dumb locale for a walk that afternoon – Schenley Park, which has sand-like trails so we were dodging puddles left and right. ANYWAY, I wouldn’t have included this in here at all except that as we were walking, we found car keys on the trail by the soccer field. Henry scooped them up, I guess because he figured it would be safer than leaving them on the ground and also because he thought they probably belonged to one of the joggers who had splattered past us in the mud.

Sure enough, some lady who was actually parked in front of us eventually started jogging over to us and panted, “You didn’t happen to see car—” and Henry held the key up for her to take.

“Oh my god!” she cried. “I said to myself, ‘I’m gonna ask these ppl over there’ and thank god I did!” and we were like, “<good natured lip service>” but really in my head I was like WOW MUST BE NICE TO LOSE SOMETHING AND THEN GET IT BACK.

So then I whined about my missing ring for pretty much the rest of our walk. Picked up Chooch from his game design class at Pitt, stopped at Grim Wizard for a chai but then ended up getting a Vlad the Impaler latte instead and it was OK but had a bit too much strong flavors swirling up in it.

Not too much else happened on Saturday. Oh, we went to Kohl’s which has become one of my least favorite places in the world but I needed to find a top to wear with a skirt I got for my not-wedding and it ended up OK but I just truly hate shopping, I think.

The weather on Sunday was much more beautiful than Saturday though and I was rearin’ to go. This time I chose Monongahela Cemetery because it’s been a few years since I was last there with Chooch the day we went out without a chaperone to geocache. 

We stopped at a Sheetz down the street first so I could pee and I found a pair of sunglasses hanging in the stall! SO I TURNED THEM IN TO SOMEONE AT THE CHECK-OUT.

WHY COULDN’T SOMEONE TURN MY RING IN??

(Ugh I honestly spent all weekend reliving that night.)

(Yeah-yeah that’s me, linking back to one post ago like a loser.)

Anway. Ugh. What a nice day.

Ew, you can see Henry BANDAID in this picture. He started to tell me what the cause of his injury was but it had something to do with a car seat of a truck and it fell on his arm and UGH I started screaming because I think I was picturing this to be way worse in my mind because Henry was doing a poor job explaining it so I had to fill in the gaps with my mental Play-Doh Factory of worst case scenarios.

Of course, we mainly talked about K<3REA.

AND THEN I

SAID THAT’S

THE ONE THING WE’VE GOT

(Hate that song, actually, so I’m thrilled for myself that it popped in my head just now.)

You guys! I couldn’t tell if this raccoon was dead or just sleeping!?! Henry said it was definitely sleeping but I couldn’t see that he was breathing and I was so freaked out.

That was a nice hour of sunshine and acting like morons.

Then we drove a few towns over to CHARLEROI and had lunch at some place called Perked Up cafe. The vibe of the place was decent – I mean, we were so far removed from ThE bIg CiTy that this wasn’t a magnet for Instagram Influedouchers.

I was sad though because I must have been looking at old menu and the AVOCADO TOMATO sandwich I was eyeballing wasn’t on the actual menu board there :( The cashier suggested just getting the avocado toast with tomato but I had it in my head that the retired sandwich was meant* to be actual slices of avocado and tomato on a sandwich, son. Not smashed avocado. :( So instead I got the spinach & artichoke on marbled rye and let me just tell you that the bread was the best part because the stuff between the slices was scant and lacked absolutely all flavor. And for $10!!!! Jesus Christ. I abhor making sandwiches but you better trust that even I would have made this better.

*(I had a friend who moved away from Pgh many many many years ago and she would always say “meant” instead of “supposed,” for example: “You were meant to turn there.” I would get angry and scoff, ”Stop talking like you’re British!” So, good job triggering yourself, Erin.)

I mean, I still ate it though because I was fucking hunggggy.

Henry kept raving about his cold brew and I was like, “Calm down, guy, it’s not that special.” For instance, I got a French Toast latte it tasted like neither French nor toast nor French toast. I didn’t hate it, and I somehow didn’t hate the place in general. But I was still fucking hunggggy when we left.

LOL you’re welcome.

Feb 182024
 

And by mini hop, I mean that over two days, we went to two cafes. Living recklessly, doin’ em up big, etc.

On Instagram last week, I saw this new-ish cafe from Greensburg called Cutie’s Cafe and while the name is kind of barfy, their drink menu was extensive, plus they have latte flights which sounded appealing. Plus, I thought it would be a…cute…belated Valentine’s Day thing to do with Henry. Or whatever.

Greensburg is about 45 minutes away from us in Pittsburgh but on a chilly February day, it’s not like we had much else going on. I’m always looking for a reason to take a mini-drive, since I spend pretty much every single day at home. Get me out of here, you know?

We arrived around 1:30 and right away, before we even parked, I could tell that it was going to be…cute…but also super small. Even on their Instagram, I thought it was CURIOUS that there were no pictures of the interior. Well, let me just tell you that it was, in fact, extremely small inside with very limited seating, but I didn’t really stick around long enough to get a good long look because I was immediately sucked-punched with a wack vibe that did not resonate with me at all. How can I explain this…it was as though we crossed the threshold into a real life VSCO filter, like Dorothy landing in Oz but everything is colored in the hues of PSL SZN with a SWEATER WEATHER overlay. And every single seat was occupied by Those Girls. You know the ones. They have Balayage, orange bronzer, NASHVILLE HATS. It was like we walked into a dressing room full of girls getting ready for a Taylor Swift bonfire.

AND THEY ALL HAD THEIR PHONES UP, TAKING PICTURES OF EACH OTHER HOLDING THEIR CUTIE’S LATTES.

When I say we were only inside for 2 seconds, I am not drawing from the hyperbole reservoir. We walked in, I stopped dead in my tracks after giving the place one good head-swivel, and said, “Yeah, I don’t want to be here. No thank YOU,” and we turned around and left. Not a single fuck given.

Usually, Henry HATES doing this but he was relieved. Like, so relieved that he couldn’t stop laughing as we walked back to the car. “No, I didn’t want to stay there either!” he said emphatically after I was like, “Sorry if that embarrassed you but that was not my scene at all and I couldn’t even try to hide my feelings.”

I guess we were both in the right mood that day though because instead of this making us argue, we rolled with it and found another cafe in a neighboring town (New Stanton) and had a nice, calm experience there with good drinks and an OK cinnamon roll (I’m sorry but Scandinavia and Finland spoiled me rotten in the subject of cinnamon rolls).

We had dead flowers on our table which I felt was symbolic of our current relationship status. (Old and shriveled, etc.)

I got a cinnamon latte and had big remorse after realizing that, AS USUAL, I managed to completely overlook the Specials. Henry got his first ever London Fog after whispering to me, “What is that?” He thought he was so cool.

We made the right choice, leaving Cutie’s Cafe. I found out later that they had apparently recently gone viral on Instagram and then were on Pittsburgh Live one day last week, whatever that is, some local TV thing I guess, so that explains it. There’s also a college in Greensburg (Seton Hill – Chooch actually applied there and was accepted but things are still up in the air on that front, ask me again later, etc.) so I guess they probably get a lot of college students there too. The crowd was….very overwhelming. I’d like to go back sometime once all the buzz dies down (& the Yinzer food ‘grammers move on to the next new fad) to see if their lattes are at least worth the hype because from my quick glance, the cafe’s aesthetics did not seem like anything special at all.

So, that was Saturday.

Today, I decided to walk to Potomac Station in Dormont. They’re always liking my pictures on Instagram and look – that’s fucking smart marketing. Appeal to my ego. More, more, more.

I’ve been here a handful of times and have never had a bad experience, honestly. Henry brought me an Earl Grey scone from there during my CHRISTMAS 2023 DEATH BED DAYS and it was so delicious. I love Earl Grey-flavored things! Anyway, I wanted one more sweet thing this weekend and was hoping they would have it again today.

Holy shit, we got there and it was PACKED. Luckily, there wasn’t a line or anything, but every single table and seat was taken. Some by assholes who were there alone but hogging entire tables for four while doing “work.” I was pretty bummed about that because after walking there in the cold, I would have preferred to sit a while.

But what really matters is that I got the Red Hot Horchata from their V-Day menu and it was F I R E. I love horchata so much to begin with adding red hots really elevated it to the next fiery level. I don’t know what Henry got. Some kind of iced coffee, I guess.

Then we came home and got sugar-sick after splitting a black forest cupcake AND a burnt almond torte cupcake. Henry is currently sleeping off his sugar coma and I’m about to close this laptop and stare at the wall for an hour or so.

Hope you had a good cup of something hot this weekend!

Mar 082020
 

Here are some photos from last Sunday before I got sick.

We had decided to kick off Henry’s Coffee Corner again (this ship started to sink before it even left the dock, let’s be real here), so he chose Carnegie Coffee, which is in…you know, Carnegie. Not something I would have picked but OK.

I never bothered to take any pictures because we got there at 1:42 and were met with a sign on the door that said they were closing at 2 for a private event so that really lit a fire under our collective asses. I wanted to just go somewhere else, because I had a book under my arm and would have liked to have sat down and read a chapter but cook on, Carnegie Coffee.

It seemed comfortable enough inside – ample seating that extended to a second floor, and you know how much seating means to me. But he staff was unsmiling, and then Henry had a weird interaction with some weird-ass who came up to him and asked if we were in line. We were, in fact, in line, but the guy said, “Oh, because the line is usually over there” and pointed to the other side of the column we were standing next to. Really buddy. Sorry we’re not fucking regulars in your dumb townie cafe.

So that really set off Henry and then I was secondhand mad about it too, especially when the d-bag actually went over to the right side of the column and stood there, like wow, you’re really sticking it to us, Line-Standing Warrior.

I got a vanilla rose latte. It was fine, but now I associate it with the stomach flu, so that’s great. Chooch got hot chocolate. Henry got iced coffee I think, who can be sure. That stringent line stander got freakin’ hot tea because of course he did. He probably took it back to his table to daintily slurp while carousing Craigslist for, I don’t know, 1950s dinghies.

(?????????????)

Then we got our drinks and left because god forbid, 2:00pm event.

It was a decent enough day, weather-wise, so we decided to take a stroll, much to Chooch’s chagrin because I guess he had important things to attend to at home? We were in the same area where Janna and I went to see that play, Mumburger, last year, so we scoped out the posters for upcoming shows for that little theater and Henry and Chooch seemed moderately interested in maybe possibly attending a future show, so we’ll see if we can shoot some culture up Henry’s butt after all.

I got to see some churches and Chooch pet copious amounts of dogs (lol, actually just 2).

Chooch was really unimpressed with both churches. OK DAMIEN.

A thing we saw.

Then we went to Fresh Thyme (Henry and Chooch love this damn market and I’m just like, OK it’s still boring) and I washed my hands there twice and lubed up with hand sanitizer, came home and started to watch Knives Out with them and then 35 minutes into I excused myself to tend to an Olympian Vomiting Event which, on a scale from Hipster After a Bloody Mary Bar Brunch to Regan’s Pea Soup, I would rate myself a solid Carnival Ride Puking Scene From “Problem Child.”

Image result for problem child puke scene gif

Really looking forward to a better Sunday today!

Feb 112020
 

Genaroasta* was the coffee place of the week , I had nothing to do with the choosing of it this time. That was fine, due to the fact we were meeting Tommy and Jessy.

*(EDITOR’S NOTE: Way to misspell the name of the cafe, Henry.)

The cafe is in a small strip mall, for me that’s fine (notice I said for me)*, it takes nothing away from the place.

*(EDITOR’S NOTE: I hate when things are in strip malls!)

Service was fast and friendly, I just got iced coffee and a peanut butter cup peanut butter cookie (which I had to share), much better bake goods than the last place and more choices. Erin and Chooch got food, not important how they liked or disliked it, it’s all about me this post. T&J also got food, again not important! They all seemed happy with their choices.

The place wasn’t too crowded, we got a table as soon as we got there, the space was set up in way that you didn’t seem like you were sitting on the person next to you. Had tables, booths, comfy chairs and a long table, something for everyone.

The coffee was good enough for me to get another one, without Erin even noticing, she doesn’t notice much about me anymore!

Was good to see T&J again, we don’t get to see them that often. Hope to see them soon!

All and all it was a good coffee trip, next week is still a mystery.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: when Henry was preparing to write this post, I want everyone to know that he said “two dicks” ate half of his cookie; this is how he treats Chooch and me! He acted like it was the last cookie in the world that he begrudgingly was forced to share with us, when meanwhile we discovered an entire container of Valentine sugar cookies from a bakery that he was hiding from us in the backseat of the car! What an actual cookie monster! WHO DOES THAT TO THEIR FAMILY? I hate him.)

(EDITOR’S NOTE, AGAIN: I had to change a “to” to a “too.” Expected.)

(EDITOR’S NOTE, A DAY LATE: Henry forgot to mention that we had a rousing discussion re: “free passes” and when they asked Henry who he would choose for his free pass, he was all thoughtful and then I got super panicked and yelled, “NO! DON’T SAY IT! I DON’T WANT TO KNOW”! and then I got super-clingy and whined, “I DON’T WANT YOU TO HAVE A FREE PASS!” and then I decided if he was going to have one, they would at least have to be older than me. He’d probably pick some bitch from NCIS or some other dumb American TV show.)

Feb 022020
 

As the owner of Oh Honestly Erin, I have made the executive decision that Henry will be reviewing on here each cafe we visit in his quest to acquire a taste for The Coffee. I thought it would be interesting to see each place through his Old Man Ex-Service Person eyes, because whereas I judge a cafe by its seasonal latte flavors and Instgrammability, his criteria is probably a bit different.

Originally I was going to ask him questions about life or whatever but we’ve done that before and his answers are boring and also I didn’t feel like thinking of questions haha. So to kickoff this series (which will probs die off just as quick as it started), here is Henry to tell you about his experience at Steel Valley Roasters!

LOCATION: Steel City Roasters, Homestead

COFFEE: Cold brew w/Almond milk (Barista gave me soy milk instead, not an issue)

BARISTA: Friendly and quick, gave me soy instead of almond milk, offered free refill for it, or they give free refills on cold brew, not sure.

COMFORT: I’m guessing if you go when yoga class is not letting out it would be quieter, and don’t sit on the long church pew , it moves with whoever is sitting on it.

CLIENTELE: not many people, it was a Sunday early, so it was a few people and the yogi’s. One with a bar voice more than a coffee shop voice.

AESTHETICS, on a scale from truck stop diner to gimmicky LA Instagram Trend Cafe: I would go back, only this time I would not get the subpar danish from the bakery down the street, I’ve had goods from that particular bakery before, not great! So I would put it the middle of the scale.

FINAL WORDS: For me it comes down to service if I go back to a place, and this place had good service, the barista was friendly and quick, one small mistake, taken care of quickly. The bake goods, yeah nothing special, made down the street. Should have stayed down the street! I would go back, not right away though, I have many places to go first.

***

ERIN’S NOTE BECAUSE THIS IS ERIN’S BLOG: Henry failed to mention that this place is connected to a yoga studio. Thankfully, we got there right before class let out so there was no line, but then we had to sit there and drink our coffee while all the dumb yogi yuppies came out and loudly congregated. One of them had a voice that was so loud and grating that I was like, “WE NEED TO DRINK FASTER, I CAN’T TAKE THIS BROAD ANYMORE” and Henry ended up getting the rest of his cold brew to-go before I could cause a scene. I brought a book with me in hopes that I could power through a chapter or two since Henry never has anything worthwhile to talk about, but those dumb broads were so freaking loud, and one of them had a screaming toddler and husband waiting for her, that it was impossible to block out.

My latte was good, though. I didn’t like the seasonal options so I went with just a plain soy latte, which I usually end up enjoying better anyway. I let Henry taste it. He still doesn’t like hot coffee, I guess.

And apparently, sometimes this one bakery I like, Jak’s, supplies this joint with baked goods but sadly, today’s offerings were from Blue Bonnet whatever that fuck is, but I guess Henry has been there before because he makes a career of eating baked goods. Anyway, it sure is fun dragging Henry to cafes! WHERE WILL WE GO NEXT SUNDAY, HOO BOY, CAN’T WAIT.