Feb 182024

And by mini hop, I mean that over two days, we went to two cafes. Living recklessly, doin’ em up big, etc.

On Instagram last week, I saw this new-ish cafe from Greensburg called Cutie’s Cafe and while the name is kind of barfy, their drink menu was extensive, plus they have latte flights which sounded appealing. Plus, I thought it would be a…cute…belated Valentine’s Day thing to do with Henry. Or whatever.

Greensburg is about 45 minutes away from us in Pittsburgh but on a chilly February day, it’s not like we had much else going on. I’m always looking for a reason to take a mini-drive, since I spend pretty much every single day at home. Get me out of here, you know?

We arrived around 1:30 and right away, before we even parked, I could tell that it was going to be…cute…but also super small. Even on their Instagram, I thought it was CURIOUS that there were no pictures of the interior. Well, let me just tell you that it was, in fact, extremely small inside with very limited seating, but I didn’t really stick around long enough to get a good long look because I was immediately sucked-punched with a wack vibe that did not resonate with me at all. How can I explain this…it was as though we crossed the threshold into a real life VSCO filter, like Dorothy landing in Oz but everything is colored in the hues of PSL SZN with a SWEATER WEATHER overlay. And every single seat was occupied by Those Girls. You know the ones. They have Balayage, orange bronzer, NASHVILLE HATS. It was like we walked into a dressing room full of girls getting ready for a Taylor Swift bonfire.


When I say we were only inside for 2 seconds, I am not drawing from the hyperbole reservoir. We walked in, I stopped dead in my tracks after giving the place one good head-swivel, and said, “Yeah, I don’t want to be here. No thank YOU,” and we turned around and left. Not a single fuck given.

Usually, Henry HATES doing this but he was relieved. Like, so relieved that he couldn’t stop laughing as we walked back to the car. “No, I didn’t want to stay there either!” he said emphatically after I was like, “Sorry if that embarrassed you but that was not my scene at all and I couldn’t even try to hide my feelings.”

I guess we were both in the right mood that day though because instead of this making us argue, we rolled with it and found another cafe in a neighboring town (New Stanton) and had a nice, calm experience there with good drinks and an OK cinnamon roll (I’m sorry but Scandinavia and Finland spoiled me rotten in the subject of cinnamon rolls).

We had dead flowers on our table which I felt was symbolic of our current relationship status. (Old and shriveled, etc.)

I got a cinnamon latte and had big remorse after realizing that, AS USUAL, I managed to completely overlook the Specials. Henry got his first ever London Fog after whispering to me, “What is that?” He thought he was so cool.

We made the right choice, leaving Cutie’s Cafe. I found out later that they had apparently recently gone viral on Instagram and then were on Pittsburgh Live one day last week, whatever that is, some local TV thing I guess, so that explains it. There’s also a college in Greensburg (Seton Hill – Chooch actually applied there and was accepted but things are still up in the air on that front, ask me again later, etc.) so I guess they probably get a lot of college students there too. The crowd was….very overwhelming. I’d like to go back sometime once all the buzz dies down (& the Yinzer food ‘grammers move on to the next new fad) to see if their lattes are at least worth the hype because from my quick glance, the cafe’s aesthetics did not seem like anything special at all.

So, that was Saturday.

Today, I decided to walk to Potomac Station in Dormont. They’re always liking my pictures on Instagram and look – that’s fucking smart marketing. Appeal to my ego. More, more, more.

I’ve been here a handful of times and have never had a bad experience, honestly. Henry brought me an Earl Grey scone from there during my CHRISTMAS 2023 DEATH BED DAYS and it was so delicious. I love Earl Grey-flavored things! Anyway, I wanted one more sweet thing this weekend and was hoping they would have it again today.

Holy shit, we got there and it was PACKED. Luckily, there wasn’t a line or anything, but every single table and seat was taken. Some by assholes who were there alone but hogging entire tables for four while doing “work.” I was pretty bummed about that because after walking there in the cold, I would have preferred to sit a while.

But what really matters is that I got the Red Hot Horchata from their V-Day menu and it was F I R E. I love horchata so much to begin with adding red hots really elevated it to the next fiery level. I don’t know what Henry got. Some kind of iced coffee, I guess.

Then we came home and got sugar-sick after splitting a black forest cupcake AND a burnt almond torte cupcake. Henry is currently sleeping off his sugar coma and I’m about to close this laptop and stare at the wall for an hour or so.

Hope you had a good cup of something hot this weekend!

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