Memorial Day Weekend is off to a great start! We spent most of Saturday with Shawn and Jess and it was, as expected, an awesome day! We started off at the main Troy Hill Art House – La Hütte Royal – which just reopened this month after being under refurb for the last year and a half. I was there many years ago with Corey and Kara so I was interested to see what all had changed.

They don’t allow any pictures or video, and usually I will try to be sneaky but we had the same docent as we did a few weeks ago when Henry and I toured Lighthouse Darkhouse (Zach I think is his name?) and I really like and respect this guy so I left my phone in my purse which was hung on a hook as soon as we entered the house.

There were two other people on the tour with us – a quiet couple who seemed cool – and a new docent-in-training who was so cute and cool, I loved him and his calming presence. He was wearing really cool patchwork pants which I feel is necessary to add, it’s an important detail that I must remember always.

I also had to laugh though because before we left the house, I jokingly said, “Maybe I can sneak pictures with my little Kodak!” which was hanging off my purse.

“That makes a shutter sound though, doesn’t it?” Henry pointed out. And then as we were all standing on the porch waiting for Shawn and Jess, Zach goes, “Is that a camera?!” so then he and the other docent were marveling over it as I explained that it came in a Blind Box but yes it actually works and it takes video too! Seriously, this thing is so hilariously fun to me for such a simple object.

OK, so the house was ALMOST the same but there were some new rooms, including one that used to be the private room that they used as a office (“We moved it down the street to one of the other houses,” Zach explained and I almost added, “Yeah the one that you let HENRY PEE IN.”) but now is completely covered in records – floor, walls, and ceiling – with an entire kitchen counter/sink tilted in the air with mechanical arms bowing some crazy kitchen sink-cum-string instrument. It was incredible and I whispered to Henry, “We need one of these.”

“WHERE?” he asked incredulously.

And there is a basement now which I don’t think there was previously! The upstairs was mostly the same but I feel like it might have been rearranged, I don’t know, I can’t remember. But here is the post from when I was first there with Corey and Kara maybe 10 years ago!

Troy Hill Field Trip!

I really enjoyed the experience this time because Zach is such a knowledgeable and friendly docent — you know he’s basically there to make sure people don’t get unruly, desecrate the art, steal things, get hurt, etc. — but his presence is never looming or intrusive. He’s very easy-going and I felt like asking him if he wanted to grab some coffee with us afterward but he was already on to his next tour at one of the other houses.

And the other docent is going to be great too! We had some great convos with him in the sculpture garden, talking about the Bayernhof and experimental French bands. I told him about my doorbell playing Kraftwerk and how recently two people came to my house trying to shill windows and they were VISIBLY ALARMED / NOT AMUSED by the doorbell tune and that pissed me off. Like, no I can’t buy windows from your un-fun ass because I don’t own this house but even I could, I WOULDN’T due to your obvious disdain!

Afterward, we went to the Modern Cafe for an early dinner + LOTS OF YAPPING.

Henry was so focused on taking this selfie that he forgot to smile.

I’m still getting the hang of this Kodak, OK?!

The music they were playing at Modern Cafe was god tier. Yes, Howard Jones, The Cure, Crowded House – it was just a wall of jams!

We totally overstayed our welcome there but I didn’t feel too bad because it wasn’t crowded (at one point, aside from some bar flies, we were the only people taking up a table) but it did get to the point where I could have ordered dinner part 2 – chatting makes me hungry!

I swear we could never run out of things to talk about with Jess and Shawn. And the crazy part is that I don’t feel emotionally or mentally spent afterwards like I often do after having to “be on” for any length of time out in the wild and I think it’s because…I’m not being “on,” I’m just being “me.” That’s all I ever want!

I’m so glad that we are doing a better job at hanging out more regularly! I have a bad habit of only seeing a lot of my friends just when I have parties, but then I don’t get to talk to everyone like I want to so while it’s great to “see” people, the actual connection isn’t there.

This midlife crisis has me reassessing and adjusting everything in my life, I swear! I never thought I’d be pushing 50 and over here trying to break out of comfort zones and routines ON PURPOSE. But it’s been so fun and fulfilling!

On Sunday, we went to Freeport to grab some sweet treats from Vivian’s Bakery and then headed to Kittanning for a walk. Remember a few weeks ago when we were going to do this but I threw a fit without even getting out of the car because Kittanning looked stupid and then I pouted the whole hour drive home even a little bit after Henry stopped at Yinz Coffee and got me a lovely spring-flavored drink*? Well, we actually got out of the car and walked this time and it was kind of lame but at least we were out in the sunshine walking off our devoured sweet treats.

*(I think it was the cherry blossom chai and fun fact for anyone compiling a list of things I like so that you’re not ever on the same shit list as Henry, Yinz Coffee is one of the only places in Pgh that makes chai the way I like it.)

On the way there though, we stopped at a Sheetz and this fucking cowboy was next door looming over a defunct restaurant called Cadet’s or something so I had to stroll into private property land and take some pictures because these are some of my favorite roadside attractions, the Muffler Man and the rest of his ilk. Many years ago, I took a picture of an actual Muffler Man out in Uniontown with one of my toy cameras and titled it “Coming Down to Cut You Open” which is a line from a song I loved at the time and for the life of me cannot remember – was it Matthew Good Band?! Ugh. My memory. Hold please while I investigate.

Wrong, I’m confusing it with “They’ve brought someone in to shut you up.”

It was Longwave:

Interestingly:

• I don’t remember ever listening to Longwave
• I don’t remember this song AT ALL
• it must be the one though because I found a blog post from 2008 where I posted the photo and I apparently named him Farfel Longwave and the “cut you open” part was in the description.

I can’t even remember my own shit anymore.

(comingdowntocutyouopen would have been a great crabcore band name in the 00s, honestly.)

Henry and I did one of our whirlwind drives to Philly last Sunday to spend the day after Chooch’s birthday with him. Then drive there was relatively quick and painless unless you count the DOUBLE ROCK to the windshield that happened immediately upon entering the turnpike. It cracked the window in two places but luckily was small enough that it was completely covered by insurance so that is what Henry did Monday morning (good thing we both had the day off lol ugh).

A few months ago, Chooch and his friends did a little day trip to some historical British town in NJ – Haddonfield, I think? He had texted me that day to tell me that they wet to crepe place that he thought I would like, so that was what he suggested we do on this day. It was only about 25 minutes more of a drive once we collected him from University City and this was also good because:

• we were all hungry and didn’t want to deal with parking and then taking SEPTA into Philly (I hate SEPTA);
• I didn’t want to see any of the Pens rage-bait that was allegedly up throughout the city (fuck the Flyers forever)

But then I looked up the crepe place and it’s a freaking CHAIN and we have one in Squirrel Hill (a part of Pgh that we go to A LOT) so I was like, “Bro, are you sure this is what you want to do for your birthday lunch?” and he was like, “I only suggested it because I thought you wanted to go there.”

!!!!

What a nice sentiment but we didn’t drive 4 hours to eat somewhere we could eat at home, LOL.

And of course, Chooch was wearing a Wolfman’s Got Nards  t-shirt (it was like 50 degrees out), sweatpants, and his Minions Crocs so we couldn’t go to any of the cute little bistro-type places we walked past. We settled on this odd Italian cafeteria thing??

It’s called Passariello’s and was SO CONFUSING. I think this is also a chain BTW but you walk in and they give you a card and then you go around to all the different stations (pizza, pasta, etc), order that you want and hand over your card for them to scan your order onto so that after you eat, you can just hand over your card to the cashier and pay. But I felt like I had ordering paralysis. First, I knee jerk-ordered a piece of pizza that I didn’t want only to walk farther down and discover a stating that had arancini and some kind of eggplant roll thing. So I got those and Henry said he would eat my pizza in addition to his pizza because that is why we bring him to restaurants with us. Henry “Leave No Scraps” Robbins.

(WHOA HOLD THE PHONE, when I was investigating this Passariello’s place, I saw that in addition to Haddonfield, they also have a location in VOORHEES. Guys: Haddonfield = Halloween, Voorhees = Friday the 13th. What the HELLLLL.)

The food was decent but wow that whole process was insanely confusing to a stoop like me, honestly. Chooch pointed out a couple that came in after we sat down and they also looked terrified and frozen in confusion, so that made me feel better.

Price-wise, it ended up being a lot less than I guessed! We got like 3x as much food as we did at Busch Gardens in March (sorry but this is my new basis of comparison for food prices) and it was like $50-some dollars as opposed to over $90-something at BG not including the two beers we got for like $30!!!

Afterward, we strolled around Haddonfield like the quaint, loving, nuclear unit we are. Henry even bought us books at an indie bookshop! (Great Expectations for Chooch, two blank journals for me.)

Totally a cute little town!

Then we each got a cookie at this cute cookie place. They were good but NO SNICKERDOODLE?? I thought it was a requirement for all cookie shops to have snickerdoodle as a permanent selection in the case BUT OK.

The next part was boring. We drove down the street to a Home Depot so Chooch could get plant soil. So, he and Henry were discussing boring plant and potting things that I was not interested in.

The bridge back into Philly.

We parked the car while Chooch took his plant crap up into his room, and then we reconvened to walk through the little flea market thingie that was set up in the street next to his building. There was this giant painting of a nude broad reading a book that I meant to go back for but we ended up walking back to the car a different way UGH. Anyway, no one bought anything.

Chooch was like, “Oh there is a new cafe that opened recently. It’s Yemeni. We can go there.” So we did and it was REALLY NICE – I got a date latte which was just totally delectable. Chooch got some traditional spice tea latte that was similar to chai and immediately hated it because he thought it was going to be sweet. I tasted it and LOVED IT. Henry liked it too so he swapped his pistachio latte for it and everyone was content.

Henry heavy-panting and fogging up the dessert case.

There was something on the Henry expressed interest in and I said that maybe the new Yemeni cafe that just opened in Brookline has it but Henry didn’t see it on their menu. Then I remembered that there is also a Yemeni cafe in Oakland so as I was Googling it, I realized that it was the SAME PLACE AS THE CAFE WE WERE AT.

“What is up with you taking us to places we can also go to in Pittsburgh?” I cried and Chooch just cracked up. Seriously though, it was really good there, the drinks were high quality, and the people were so nice. Plus, it sort of smelled like an airport (in a good way) so it made me feel like I was on vacation.

Instead of going back the way we came, we walked one block over so Chooch could show us the place he’ll be living in next year since the last time we took him back, we only got to do a drive-by in the car.

No, this isn’t where he will be living, I just liked the mural LOL. No photos of his new place because I may do stupid shit on here but let’s not add doxxing my own son to the list.

I will say that there some charming houses on his soon-to-be new street! It was such a pleasant walk. And we saw squirrels and cats, can’t beat it.

Sadly, it was around 5PM by then and Chooch had shit to do, plus we had to start our drive home. It was such a nice day, I love getting to see Chooch so much! Even though he is still very annoying and frustrating to talk to at times, LOL. 20 isn’t the magic age, I see.

The drive home was actually kind of fun because we just chatted about the Midnight concert and listened to a playlist for the “summer school” tour concert we’re going to in July which is mostly female-fronted pop punk bands. Just a really nice time together in the car, awwww how cute, how presh.

*OK maybe let’s not get too hyperbolic about that but we now have TWO cafes, is what I’m trying to say, and the last time I read the Barista Bible, I’m pretty sure there was a passage about how it might only take one man to part a sea, but it takes 2 cafes to start a scene. Nespresso, 3:14.

Way back in August of 2023 when we came back from our Coaster Crew vacation, I was walking my usual trail through Brookline when I noticed that a storefront that has been abandoned for YEARS was displaying mysterious activity. I peeped in one of  the windows and saw that a counter had been placed inside, with what looked like a fry-grill thingie behind it. There was also mail on the counter! I texted Henry post haste like, “Wake up, babe, something’s brewing on the blvd!”

It seemed like they had some set-backs because a good solid year of non-activity followed. But then process began again and signage was put up, lots of “coming soon!” promises. But this started last spring! Eventually, a sign was put up with the name and I found the place on Insta. I followed immediately but there was no information other than it was going to be a Yemeni cafe.

Earlier in the year, they started posting legit updates, showing sneak peeks inside and then FINALLY they launched their soft-opening about two weeks ago!

Chooch and I walked there today on my break and I was so excited! The place was poppin’ for it being 2PM on a random Wednesday. I loved to see it!

I ordered the Socotra signature latte with pistachios, Chooch got a Spanish latte, and we got a slice of honey cake and pistachio milk cake to share.

This place is beautiful! I couldn’t get a picture of the banquette area which is lined with these gorgeous cushions, because it was taken by a party of women and I didn’t want to be like, “Say cheese, latte-lovers!”

I don’t know about Chooch’s, but my latte was very refreshing and delicious and 100x better than anything I’ve ever gotten across the street at 802 Cafe. Maybe it’s because that place is run by this woman who genuinely rubs me the wrong way – one time she got real condescending with me because I ordered a latte that came with cold foam and asked for it hot with almond milk and said, “But the cold foam is fine” because I’m so used to people asking if I still want whipped cream or cold foam when I ask for a milk alternative, and this bitch goes, “WELL YOU ASKED FOR IT HOT SO THERE WON’T BE ANY COLD FOAM…!?!?!?!!?” in this fucking sneering shit-eating tone and I was so close to telling her, “Cool, then you can just SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS” but Henry was with me and he was already giving me a disapproving stare as though he was anticipating attitude. Also, I overheard her saying unsavory shit about the vaccine during Covid so I’m pretty sure I know exactly where her votes go. DOWN THE FUCKING COMMODE.

But anyway, I liked it better when it was run by the really nice man before her, and he had a wonderful big dog named Max who would hang out in the cafe but now this bitch has a NO DOGS ALLOWED sign on the door, further telling you everything you need to know about her ass.

And before that, it was a Brookline classic called Cannon Coffee and I truly miss that place. It was a legit coffee-lovers cafe. I used to get real macchiatos there.

Anyway!!! Back to Socotra. I will say that it was on the richer side, price-wise, but the quality of what we got didn’t make me mad about it. Both of our cakes were what I would call an afternoon delight without the scandalous innuendos. Especially the pistachio milk cake! It was straight up sopping in a puddle of milk like a missing lyric from the Starland Vocal Band’s notebook.

We also had to wait quite a while for our order even though there was only one order in front of ours, and then the people after us somehow got theirs first. I don’t know what was going on but I will cut them some slack since they just opened and are likely ironing out their kinks.

Idiot Henry texted me and asked us to bring him something home, which was annoying and at first we decided we weren’t going to since he could have just met us there – he got home from work shortly after we left – but then I felt bad (what is wrong with me!?) and got him a piece of the pistachio milk cake which he promptly beasted and agreed that it was very good.

Henry liked it, you guys.

Then on our walk home, we stopped to talk to Jeannie the Crossing Guard who has known Chooch since his elementary school days (she is such a lovely lady) and right after that, the passenger of a car driving by yelled, “IT’S CHOOCH!” out the window and it ended up being our friends Niffer and Weird Paul! Chooch is very popular in Brookline, it was like I was walking with the mayor.

Well, anyway. That was my Brookline cafe review.

With no concerts on the near horizon and a whole-ass swathe of boring winter ahead of us, Henry and I have started planning out some day trips / culture days. He found out that the Westmoreland Museum of American Art in Greensburg is free (the best way to get Henry out to a museum, btw) so that’s where we headed Saturday morning after a quick stop at Pigeon Bagels for a carby breakfast.

Anyway, we were the first ones there right at opening! I love being FIRST. ME FIRST.

We spent 2 whole hours there which went by super quickly. Here is a collection of my favorite paintings and moments.

This immersive exhibit was called Steel Valley Visions. It shows the rise and fall of Pittsburgh’s steel industry.

Bambi. :(

(That was Drew’s nickname.)

!!!Obviously!!!

Then there was the cabinet full of fraktur (manuscript art of the Pennsylvanian Germans) and I had to open every single drawer much to Henry’s chagrin. I think there were about 60 drawers, lol. But there was barely anyone else there even at this point so I didn’t feel rushed and wanted to slow down and look at everything, which isn’t always a luxury you’re given at the more popular, crowded museums. Those are the ones where I get museum fatigue real quick.

Anyway, I was mostly obsessed with making fun of the art on these. It was so rudimentary! The ones with the angels looked like they were “courtesy of Mrs. Bennington’s preschool class” I swear to god. They were hauntingly bad.

And this looks like it was from the Erin Practices Lettering in 3rd Grade archives.

I REALLY LIKED THIS ONE THOUGH. According to the information book, it’s called Heaven or Hell by good old G.S. Peters.

I begged him to do this pose. You’re welcome!

I just liked the wood panel walls in this room.

This was another favorite – literally a painting of a girl stitching a button but there is so much to take in. It was also a great time to remind Henry that he has to re-sew a button on one of my coats.

FUN FACT!!! Henry lived on this street before he moved in with me. He’s being exceptionally annoying right now as I write this so I WONDER IF HE CAN MOVE BACK THERE.

The overarching theme of this museum is STEEL MILL stuff and this little station lets you play records of really cringey mill worker anthems. I was only able to get through 1 and a half songs.

This exhibit of the Florida Highwaymen landscapes had JUST opened on this day! It was by far the best part of the place and now I need to read a book or two about the Highwaymen for sure.

They even had a station set up where you could sketch out your own Florida landscape by spinning a wheel three times. I got: palm tree, sunset, clouds.

You know I was all about this activity!

Henry refused to participate.

This was hands down my ult fave of the day. I love that the background is mica flakes!! Also adding this guy to my list of artists to follow.

Oblig bathroom selfie.

The last exhibit we saw before leaving was this one by Maryam Safajoo and believe me when I tell you each and every painting and its description made me cry. These are just some of them:

And then we left to the news of Alex Pretti’s murder at the hand of ICE. Another fucking Saturday in MAGA USA.

OK I have to tell you something that has been bugging me for the past year or so, and you know it’s going to be a MAJOR THING (and not something that is just over-exaggerated inside my own head – why, I’d never!) since that’s all I do on here is drop heavy truths from the Honestly Heavens, so brace yourself.

The local theater down the street from us was SOLD TO SOMEONE WHO OWNS ANOTHER LOCAL THEATER and you would think, “But that’s great though, right?” and literally everyone else around here was like “Fuck yeah, let’s gooo” but I am internally a 95-year-old bitty fighting against gentrification even though I only half-understand what that means and in my desiccated apple core of a brain, all I could think about was how the OTHER THEATER is in a super trendy area of Pittsburgh and attracts CLIENTELE OF A CERTAIN SOCIAL ESCHELON that I don’t want carousing around my area.

OK really, I have no idea the types of people that go to this other theater and they do play some awesome indie and foreign horror there which is obviously all I care about and my old theater did the same and I loved it because I could go there and watch a movie and be one of like maybe 10 other patrons. Which, you know, is great for me but not so great for the theater, LOL. (Can you tell I’m purposely not using actual theater names because I am so tired of my blog turning up in Google searches and then actual business owners being like WTF MORE LIKE OH HONESTLY, KAREN.)

Every time I would get an update on Instagram, I’d scoff, “Maybe they put in a moustache waxing station or a cooler for HOP SELTZER.” Am I old enough to be this curmudgeonly?? GO FETCH MY SHAWL!

THEN THEY PAINTED THE OUTSIDE A REALLY HORRID COLOR, THE SHADE OF GREEN TYPICALLY RESERVED FOR THE CONTENTS OF A BABY’S DIAPER. I texted a picture to Chooch and he was like, “You are overreacting, it’s not even that bad.” UGH that’s because he’s under the age of LOOKING FOR A BONE TO PICK.

Then the new Cure concert film was announced and it’s one of the locations showing it, during their soft-opening, and I might have principles (far-reaching though they may be) but I am also lazy and enjoy the convenience of having a local theater within walking distance so I bit the bullet and bought tickets. I just REALLY didn’t feel like driving to other parts of the city to see this on a SCHOOL NIGHT.

You guys, it was fine. My sacred balcony seats are still intact and the new owner gave a little speech prior to the show and I AM A BIG ENOUGH PERSON to admit that I was being ridiculous. I am fully in support of this new era of a beloved local institution and already plan on going back while Chooch is in town for Christmas (unbeknownst to him at the time of this writing).

And yo, The Cure. Goddamn. This was a recording of a special concert they did last year in a small theater in London. I was about to say I’d love to see them in a venue that small and intimate and then realized that is exactly how it was the first time I saw them in 2000 at the Royal Theatre in Canberra!

It was a much better experience than when we saw them in 2023 in Cleveland, surrounded by a bunch of loud and drunk middle-aged losers who were only there to hear the handful of songs that brought them back to their alleged glory days of frat life. Honestly, you would think that going to concerts attended by old people would be a good experience but you would be WRONG. One of the worst crowds I have ever had to endure.

And I even had a beer that I GENUINELY ENJOYED! (Breckenridge Winter Warmer, in case you care!) I drink slow so it lasted me almost the entire show (3+ hours! Henry stayed awake for all of it and even did some weird hand movements during some of the songs! His favorite Cure song is The Forest, in case you care part 2.)

Afterward, some lady stopped me and asked if I was PAM and I said NO and she said OH YOU LOOKED LIKE SOMEONE I MET AT THE CONCERT. And then as she mumbled, “Good movie though,” as she turned a corner, never to be seen again.

(At least by us. Hopefully someone has seen her since then. UNLESS SHE’S A GHOST.)

In other LOCAL CHANGES, this is one that I have been stoked about since it went into motion:

THAT FUCKING UPPITY RESTAURANT CLOGGING BROOKLINE’S ARTERIES WITH PRETENTIOUS SMASH BURGERS AND “SANDOS” IS DONEZO!!! They did a dramatic “slow-closing” earlier this year, where they were “giving their loyal fans” an extended amount of “LAST CHANCE” opportunities to stop by and slop up their hoity-toity food. Apparently, the owner decided he wants to “focus on his music career” or something and I’m sure that will be music I will not ever check out. I just thought he was such an ass. His IG posts were so obnoxious, all in caps.

I swear I’m not even being a brat because they got rid of the BEST VEGGIE BURGER I EVER HAD IN THIS STUPID CITY and opted to fill their menu with all of the super hipster foodie meats. Oh, and they had REALLY GOOD BISCUITS but then they decided to rebrand as a “supper club” (get the fuck out of Brookline, honestly) and when their adoring fans asked, “but the biscuits!!” they snidely said, “We already mastered those and won’t be revisiting.” What a bunch of actual kitchen pricks.

ANYWAY!!! For a while, Hipster Supreme was using the empty restaurant as his BAND PRACTICE SPACE (OK, Drive By Fuckers) but then recently I noticed legit activity by way of DINING ROOM FURNITURE BEING REMOVED! And then I walked by another time and saw several Asian people inside behind the counter – BROOKINE, ARE WE GETTING ANOTHER ASIAN RESTAURANT??? PLEASE? I did hear bits of talking one time when I strolled by and think maybe Chinese? The windows have been taped up while renovations are underway, but they recently painted the facade red!

This is a change I’m here for. I hated hated hated that other place so much. Just shitty vibes all around. Stay-tuned I guess!!

For lunch, we chose this place right at the bottom of the Scholar’s Stairs called Pensiunea Restaurant Bastion – La Strada. At least I think that’s what it was called! Other things say it’s “Crama Restaurant.” It was part of the Pensiunea Bastion. (I was really excited that Romania calls their guest houses “pensiunea” and Korea calls their “pensions.” FUN FACT FOR NO ONE.)

I ordered an Ursus IPA to start. Ursus is one of the biggest Romanian beers, I would say. The IPA was very refreshing! Usually, I drop off halfway through a full pour, but I finished this one easily.

God only knows what he’s mansplaining here.

Our young waiter seemed perplexed that all I ordered was a cheese plate and two vegetable dips. I’m telling you, not eating meat is a daily challenge and it was especially difficult at times in Romania – thankful for restaurants that post their menu outside the door so we can peruse and move on if needed! But when I saw that this place had a fresh, local cheese plate, the traditional roasted eggplant spread (Salata De Vinete) and roasted red pepper spread (Zacusca), that was all I needed to know! I had been dying to try the eggplant spread because it was referenced in so many travel videos.

This was the perfect lunch for me. Our waiter brought me a basket of bread for the spreads and I was so content.

Henry got the traditional bean ciorba (soup) that comes in a carb top hat. It smelled so good but I know it was loaded with MEATS even though it was billed as a bean soup.

OMG there were several adorable kittens cruising through the patio the whole time we were there – good food and free kitten pats?? Yes.

Also, school kids descending the Scholar’s Stairs in the background!

I thoroughly our view from the table. I loved that the weather was mild enough to eat outside comfortably. It was just and these two ladies at another table. The one lady stood up at one point and was fully massaging the other lady’s shoulders for a solid 15 minutes it seemed like. Like, aggressively rubbing them with the hands of a trained masseuse (or assassin). It was very entertaining to watch and I even have it in the background of a video that I was taking of the kittens so look forward to my Sighisoara video at the end of the final recap, I guess.

After lunch (loved it!), we continued on our stroll through the cobblestone streets where my predilection of walking with my head down came in handy – no tripping on uneven terrain for me! I’m a trained walker.

There were a lot of old people milling about. I assume they were tourists? I do think that people live in the old town but it felt like there were some small tour groups there as well. All I know is that it wasn’t crowded at all and I loved it.

To the right is Casa Vlad Dracul again and in case I didn’t mention this in my last post, it’s the oldest building in town dating back to the mid 1300s.

The Clock Tower was such a true beauty. According to Wiki, “its purpose was to defend the main gate of the citadel back in the medieval times. It also served as the town hall until 1656. It is now considered one of the most important clock towers in the whole of Transylvania.”

Papanasi is the national dessert of Romania! We were considering getting some from this window but held off and waited for the evening. This was the only time I saw a chocolate version though and kind of have belated regertz now that I’m looking at this!

I’m sorry, can you tell I was smitten with the clock tower? Am I annoying you?

There was random art displayed on this wall at the base of my boyfriend the clock tower and I really wanted to know if this clown painting for sale but Henry was like KEEP IT MOVING.

Heading out of the old town.  Yes, Henry wore his Canada hat every day. Do not associate us with Trump, thank you.

LOOK THERE I AM WITH THE CLOCK TOWER.

Dear Sighisoara, I miss you.

To the right you can see the Vlad Restaurant. We were going to go there later that night for papanasi but it was closed!

Sighisoara’s color palette is so pleasing.

Sorry, no marching bands allowed up here.

I watched some travel vloggers eat a cherry pie at this place called Casa Cositorarului and I had to have it. We weren’t purposely looking for it at this moment but when we stumbled upon it, I was like, “I MEAN, THERE’S ALWAYS ROOM FOR PIE, AMIRITE” and Henry was like, “Let’s gooooo” except with way less enthusiasm because it’s Henry and he only runs on one setting. I mean, Romania might have been MAGICAL but it wasn’t performing MIRACLES.

Immediately after walking in, we were met with UTTER CONTEMPT from the guy working there. We walked in and said hi and he was legit like, “OK and???” So, I said, “Can we order pie?” and he was like, “WHAT DO YOU WANT???” while brusquely gesturing toward the dessert case. I chose the sour cheery pie of course and Henry went with a traditional Romanian cake (after deigning to ask the guy what it was) and then I was like, “Can we sit in here?” and he was like, “*gestures toward the dining area*”

We found a table in another room and I started to crack the fuck up. “That guy HATES us!” I wheezed. The best way I can describe him is imagine Michael Ian Black portraying a disgruntled Transylvanian cafe server. This tends to be the general demeanor, though, and you have to just not let it get to you. And a lot of times, the wall breaks down and then suddenly they are nice to you. But you have to coax them to that point!

I did look up some reviews recently and a lot of people were like, “THE SERVER WAS SO RUDE!” which made me laugh hysterically all over again because why did I actually admire his zero tolerance for us?! I referenced him so many times during our trip after that and at 0ne point considered him a “trip highlight.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Henry mumbled.

This place is also a guest house. MAYBE I WILL STAY THERE IF I EVER RETURN.

No. Stop it. WTF EVEN WAS THIS. Like God hired the best angel baker in Heaven to make the most delectable dessert for Jesus’s birthday and this is what they came up with. Fucking Biblical. Literally–they should print the recipe in the back of the Bible. It was like a pie and cake hybrid – instead of a crust filled with the sour cherries like a regular pie, the sour cherries were baked into whatever dough they used so it was like a dense and buttery cake, topped with something akin to streusel and a scoop of toffee ice cream with CRUNCHIES on top just like I love to get on soft serve!

Good Lord, the way I dream of this cake. Dare I say it blew papanasi out of the water? This is the Romanian dessert of my dreams. And prayers. Please someone learn how to bake this for me. Maybe that’s the theme of the next pie party? RECREATE THE FAMOUS SIGHISOARA SOUR CHERRY PIE TO WIN ERIN’S HEART???

Henry got this local beer from 176 Trepte brewery and it was nice! I peeled the label off with a deftness and saved it.

Then Henry had to go to the bathroom and I watched him walk past it so I was yelling, “HENRY HENRY!” but Gramps didn’t hear so he walked all the way back to where Transylvanian Michael Ian Black was glowering behind the counter and ASKED HIM WHERE THE BATHROOM WAS. That guy was probably like, “You stupid American fuck, you walked right past it on your way here to bother me.”

While Henry was in the bathroom, TMIB came into the room to collect our plates. I told him, in my BEST Pollyanna Goes to the Medieval Town intonation, that I LOVED the pie.

He paused and then monotoned. “Thank you. I am happy you like it.” I could tell that pained him. I was so giddy by the time Henry returned and I was like “I TALKED TO HIM!!!”

The bathroom was in the basement, down these very steep and narrow steps! I didn’t even have to pee but I needed to see what it looked like down there LOL.

Yeah, I definitely think I need to come back and stay there.

These are pictures from our walk to the nearby ATM after Henry tried to pay and TMIB was like, “CASH ONLY.”

This VLAD BUST was in the lobby of the hotel down the street where we had to go to use the ATM.

Henry doing the walk of shame back to the place to pay, LOL.

Back in the cafe to pay our debts.  I wish that kitty had sat in the room with us while we were there! Anyway, Henry paid and also tipped the guy which suddenly made his surly facade crack the teeniest bit.

“Thanks for trusting us to come back!” Henry said in this really cringey UPBEAT tone that he adopts from time to time when he is trying to fake a personality. I swear I almost saw TMIB smirk a little. Come on, bro. YOU LIKED US, YOU REALLY LIKED US.

I wish I had bought a whole pie to go.

After we checked into our guest house, I was like LET’S GO, BRUH! I could not WAIT to go full tourist lookie-loo on this place. Just going through these pictures is bringing me so much joy.

Sighisoara is a UNESCO World Heritage Site, in case you care about that stuff.

For instance, what you see in front of you here is the actual house that Vlad Tepes lived in as a child! It’s now a gift shop, restaurant, and HAUNTED HOUSE (well, kind of) but that part of it is sadly closed on Tuesdays. As soon as I walked into the gift shop though, I spotted THE THING. You know, that ONE THING that you find on vacation that completely speaks to your soul? The one thing that you were holding out for without even knowing yet what it was, and then convince yourself that it costs $$$$ but YOU WILL SPARE NO EXPENSE?

Yeah, I found that thing here and Henry was all, “NOT RIGHT NOW, I’M CARRYING THAT AROUND. WE’LL COME BACK” and I was like, “Hooooo, you listen, motherfucker – if we come back and it’s GONE*, I will channel Vlad himself and go full vamp on your ass.”

*(OK, there was a wall of THE THING but there was one in particular that had called to me, so apologies Henry if I was frantic about purchasing THIS THING. We’ll talk about that later!)

It’s actually embarrassing how many times I went into this gift shop. The girl running it was exhausted by me after a point, I think.

It was completely uncrowded in Sighisoara when we were there. The hotel guy told Henry that it is super crowded in the summer and I can only imagine. This was also the scene of public executions back in the medieval times. Things were much less barbaric when we were there (well, until it was Henry’s feeding time).

The Clock Tower being a pretty princess in the background. More on that later!

The colors of the buildings, ugh.

The first “tourist” thing we did was walk up the famous Scholar’s Steps. I knew that these were built way back in the day (1642 if you’re a history dork) for the kids to get to the school at the top of the hill.

OMG are we scholars now.

That’s the toy camera I used to take these pictures, by the way!

At the top!

The Scholar’s Stairs is one of the oldest covered wooden steps in the world!

In addition to the church and school, the Sighisoara Saxon Cemetery is also located at the top of the hill. The story is that when the Pied Piper lead the kids out of Germany, he brought them to Romania and they are now buried here, I guess? This is a pretty interesting read.

It was so quiet and tranquil here. A few people were walking around here and there, but it definitely did not feel like a tourist attraction.

When Henry says, “Do something.” My instinct is to pretend my bones have melted. Limp Vogue, I think is what they call it in the ballroom scene.

Romania, you guys.

My feet on Romanian ground!

As we made our way back to the Scholar’s Stairs to find a spot for lunch, an actual school was letting out for the day and we got to walk down the steps with REAL LIFE SIGHISOARAN HIGH SCHOOL KIDS!!! I was so giddy about this, especially when we happened to be behind these three girls who I just KNOW are the popular girls, it was so obvious. I have a short video that I recorded on the way down, which made Henry shake his head in disappointment.

I don’t think I had one bad moment in Sighisoara, if I’m being honest. I might not have even yelled at Henry at all??

This is the last leg of the Maramures adventures and also when things began to unravel – you knew it was bound to happen!

WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT GODDAMN ICE-CAPPED MOUNTAIN BACK THERE THOUGH?? I don’t think I have ever snapped so many pictures out of a car window before in my life. But anyway, this was after we left the Barsana Monastery and stupidly said, “Eh, we’ll eat at the next stop!” when we were considering whether or not to get something from the food vendor in the monastery parking lot. Dumb dumb dumb.

The geotag on this picture tells me we were passing through Strimtura. Also, I’d like to note that lots of elderly people bike around in Romania. I was saying that you rarely see this in the States and Henry immediately referenced two old men who bike through our town of Brookline regularly and I was like, “OK HENRY, BUT ASIDE FROM THEM!!!” God.

Calinesti provided some STOP THE CAR! worthy views.

So, in an effort to keep this final Maramures recap short and short (I really want to move on to SIGHISOARA which was my favorite town in Romania!!), after leaving the monastery (maybe by the end of this post I will have learned how to spell MONASTERY on the first try and nope, that one was not it) I had thought we were headed to Budesti but Henry had looked at an incorrect version of the itinerary that Copilot had lovingly helped me craft and he was heading somewhere else which I didn’t know until we reached that somewhere else and discovered that the only road to reach it was blocked off by the electric company and a small huddle of villagers. I don’t know what was going on, but it was clear that the incident was not close to being resolved.

Henry was all, “THERE HAS GOT TO BE ANOTHER ROAD TO GET THERE” and started jabbing at the car’s navigation screen with his angry man stubs. This brought us to a DIRT ROAD that wound up a hill and into farmland and then eventually turned into a DIRT PATH which prompted Henry to scream “WE ARE ON SOMEONE’S PROPERTY I THINK THIS IS A FUCKING HORSE TRAIL” as the car was catapulting us over rocks and divots. I have some video of this – it was cracking me up, but Henry was SCARED. (Not of some farmer coming after us with a shotgun, but that he was going to bust the rental car and be in BIG TROUBLE with the Enterprise guy at the Bucharest airport who fucking haaaaaaaated us.)

It was around this point when I realized, “Hey wait, where are you even trying to get us to?” after I really – finally – looked at the map on the screen.  Henry was trying to get us to Ieud, but I wanted to go to Budesti. I still don’t know exactly at what point the miscommunication started to bake this casserole of chaos, but here we were in the middle of nowhere, Henry frantically trying not to get the car stuck or send us careening over a surprise cliff.

Green = where we started

Blue = where we were lost

Red = where we needed to be

Of course, the only way to get to Budesti from Ieud was to go all the way back to Barsana and down to Budesti. We were running out of daylight and had to check in to our guest house by no later than 8:30 that evening, so it was a frantic drive from here on out (spoiler – everything in Budesti was either closed by the time we got there or we missed some magical entrance, so basically the whole last half of our day was spent in the car, starving because we didn’t pass a single store until much later!).

I will say it wasn’t all a bust though because the scenery in Budesti was chef’s kiss. Not to mention we had another “YOU CAN’T TAKE THIS NORMAL ROAD SO WE ARE REDIRECTING YOU TO SOME RARELY USED MOUNTAIN ROAD” moment which was terrifying because the road was pockmarked with potholes and if ever we were going to break down and get mauled by bears, it would have had to have been on this portion of the drive. Especially since the sun was setting and every roiling shadow I saw on the sides of the road just SCREAMED “big bear silhouette!!! alert!!!” to me.

Honestly though, we might have missed out on whatever crafty local wares were to be had in the village of Budesti, but we got to cleanse our eyeballs with some poppin’ views.

Cernesti brings the vistas.

Driving through a town called Strimbu-Baiut – the sky was immaculate.

After stopping at a convenience store in some tiny town and stocking up on snacks* in lieu of dinner (REMMEBER WHEN I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO EAT DINNER IN BUDESTI LOLOLOL), we made it to the town of Beclean around 8:30 as expected and the owner (?) of the guest house was waiting for us. We were the only guests in the whole place and I felt so awful when I learned later from Henry that she had come out specifically to meet us and check us in. Ugh, hopefully she lives close by and didn’t have to sit there all evening watching the news (which I noticed was talking about Charlie Kirk #vom when we walked past the office to enter the house.

*(I got some delicious pastry that I grudgingly shared with Henry, and cheese curls. Both were good but not SATISFYING.)

After bringing our stuff in, we headed out to two nearby grocery stores (one was the ubiquitous Penny and the other one was a smaller shop that I didn’t write down the name of but did say that Henry majorly embarrassed me at the bakery counter by saying CHEESE? CHEESE? over and over to the confounded lady working back there until I waved him off and just pointed to the one I wanted after determining on my own that it was a fruit something or other and when I ate it in the next morning in the car, I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was filled with a delicious raspberry filling) for some more sustenance and things to eat in the morning. I was obsessed with these 7 Days “croissants” that were pretty stale tasting but filled with delicious things like chocolate and various fruits. I preferred the “forest fruit” variety. It was just a cheap and super-convenient breakfast pastry to eat in the car and also something that I would never eat at home, so it was also a treat! I didn’t think they were strictly distinct to Romania only but when I googled, the website has a New Jersey contact address which made me LOL. Maybe I can find them in Wawa next time I’m out that way?? BUT WILL THEY HAVE FOREST FRUIT.

I did also see in my Internet travels that Romania specifically is “obsessed” with them. Someone asked “why” on Reddit and there is a whole thread of Romanians arguing about if they’re good or not lol. It sounds like the general consensus is that it’s a nostalgia thing – grabbing one from a convenience store on the way to school as a kid type shit.

That Candy Can sat in the car, unfinished, for a few days before I finally tossed it. It was like drinking sparkling simple syrup. My teeth were screaming.

It’s amazing how tired simply being in a car for most of the day can make you. I slept real well that night!

I took these pictures the next morning before we left (it was actually kind of creepy being the only guests there, I’m not going to lie):

We sat out here the night before, drinking a beer and I wrote some postcards – MAYBE IT WAS FOR YOU.

This was the beer we drank that night, I had to take this picture the next morning when I realized that GOD FORBID I had forgotten to check it into Untapped.

Here’s a compilation of our Maramures day – the last clip is my favorite, also I purposely recorded for nearly the entirety of Call Me Maybe because it reminded me of MY LOVING SON, CHOOCH.

Our next stop after the Memorial to the Victims of Communism was a 28 minutes drive to a town called Barsana. There is a beautiful wooden church and monastery there that I had to see. I was so nervous that it was going to be closed because we were really racing against the setting sun – there is just never enough time when you’re on vacation!

This will mostly just serve as a photo dump because nothing super memorable happened other than me and Henry admiring the wooden structures.

This was a town called Oncesti, halfway between Sighetu Marmatiel and Barsana.

We made it! It is free to enter, but we did of course stop by the gift shop on the way out for magnets. I mean, obvi.

Most of the buildings here are inaccessible to the general public because this is an active nunnery. I didn’t see any of the nuns while we were there though unless the older lady in the gift shop was one.

I actually felt like we were in Switzerland for a minute!

I love religious art so much.

The inside of the church was so beautiful! There were a handful of other visitors there at the same time and they all seemed to be actively religious people so I was trying to hang back until they were done praying and fearing God, etc.

I kept going on and on about how much I loved the color palette and Henry was like, “Ok. Cool.”

I’m not a religious person but I love going inside churches and cathedrals in other places and then I always feel like, “Wow, maybe I really am religious” until we’re in the car driving away and suddenly I’m back to hailing Satan and puking up green pea soup (FORESHADOWING lol).

Looking back at these pictures, though, I’m filled with this super cozy, sentimental feeling. It was such a beautiful afternoon, barely anyone else was there, and Henry and I were still card-carrying members of the Get Along Gang. Somehow, someway! Maybe it was all the churches we visited, infecting us with Christ-dust, but I really feel like our couple’s road trip through Romania made us like each other more or something, I don’t know, don’t make me say more.

Henry’s recap of our time at Rimetea: “I walked up a hill, I walked down a hill, I took a couple of pictures.” He is actually stunned that I have managed to take a 2 hour late morning stop and stretch it into three whole blog posts.

Hello. It’s me. Erin Appledale. Did you fucking FORGET?

We’re currently en route to Columbus, Ohio for a concert so I figured maybe we could collab on this last recap but he said, “No.”

So anyway! What had happened after the waterwheel detour was that we saw a rocky lane leading up toward the mountains so we decided to walk up that way and see some closer views.

This was the view facing back down toward the town.

  Me being me.

On the way up here, we passed a small parking lot where a group of people were preparing to head out on a hike. And across from them in a small clearing was a man laying down with another pacing around him and giving him what appeared to be a pep talk. I think the man laying down didn’t want to hike the mountain lol. He ended up joining the rest of their group though so good for him!

We weren’t dressed for a hike so we admired the mountains from here.

I actually love this picture so much because I didn’t know Henry was taking it and he caught me genuinely admiring the scenery. No fake smiles!

Ew.

Selfies from both directions, of course.

Chatted with this biggun’ on the way back down but then he found people more interesting in the hiking parking lot and strutted away from us. Typical.

Walked around some more, taking it all in. I just kept saying, “I can’t believe we’re here. Can you believe we’re here???”

Henry said “the scenery” when I asked him for two things he liked about Rimetea and he is either still thinking of a second one or forgot the question already because I never received a follow up.

We wanted to get langos before leaving but I needed to wash my hands first after petting so many dogs and cats during our leisurely strolling. There was a public restroom back by the church. I started to go up the steps to enter but it was a pay-to-pee sitch and the payment thing was broken. Some girl limbo’d under the barrier thing but I was like “no I’m not doing that in these tight jeans and bad back” and also there was an old woman there who also was like “guess I’m not peeing” At least I assume that’s what she was saying in Romanian.

Henry meanwhile was like, “what is the problem? Is this an opportunity for me to be a hero??” And so he walked up to inspect the payment thing and then realized that the turnstile could just be pulled open so he did that for me and then the old lady was like “!!!!” So she was also able to pee, thanks to Henry who earned his “Even in Romania” hero complex badge.

It was a nice little “breaking the language barrier” moment.

After stopping at a gift shop to acquire my magnet, it was finally langos time!! Of course we didn’t know this then but langos is of Hungarian origins – I just knew that it was a popular street food in parts of Romania so it was on my list. It’s fried dough – like a savory elephant ear that you’d get a fair – and the version we got had a creamy garlic sauce and the most delicious salty shredded cheese on it.

There’s a polarizing pizza place in Pittsburgh called Betos that notoriously tops their pizza with cold shredded cheese after the pizza has been baked and I fucking HATE IT. However, this works so well on langos and it gradually melted as we were eating it. Betos could NEVER.

I dream of this langos.

This was intentional – I wanted a picture of our feet on Rimetea ground lol.

Post office! Of course when I don’t need one (yet – this would eat up lots of time in Bucharest because me and my postcard habit) , we seem to bump into them constantly.

Took one last stroll to walk off the langos which we BEASTED.

Even the haystacks in Romania are adorable!!

It was on this street where we passed a house that had a dog that looked like Bambi :( I sent a video to Chooch and he was like OMG THAT DOG HATES YOU!!! because it was barking so angrily lol.

Before leaving, we stopped by the kurtos vending in the parking lot. I did know that this was a Hungarian treat (chimney cakes) but it was here that the vendor struck up a friendly conversation with us after learning we were American (ugh) and explained to us the history of Rimetea, how it was part of Hungary and that most of the people living there are Hungarian. It all made sense after that! I don’t know how I didn’t learn that in my itinerary-planning and appreciated that he took the time to tell us all of this while making us a fresh cinnamon kurtos. (See?? This is why I told Henry not to buy one from that guy in Sibiu. Now our first kurtos got to be an authentic & fresh one!)

This guy was so nice! I will never forget him. Or that kurtos. It was perfectly crispy and cinnamony on the outside, soft and pillowy (and piping hot!!) on the inside.

Mmm. Kurtos.

We left off at the part of the day where we paid to see some old-ass water wheel but here are some other pictures taken prior to that with the DSLR. It took me forever to edit these because apparently our computer is on its last leg so that’s cool. I almost took a sledgehammer to it last night. Many tantrums were had.

The Orthodox Church. For some reason I didn’t get many great pictures of it, but I do have it captured on video which I will post at some point.

I just couldn’t get over the architecture of these houses and that foreboding rocky slab looming in the background! Look, this was a very quiet commune. Yes, there were some tour groups (all seemed to be regional) milling about here and there but it was extremely serene and didn’t feel like a money grab. Well…until we got to the water wheel thing where we were told by the old man manning the grounds that we had to pau 20 LEI to see it, or at least that’s what we figured what was going on. There was no signage or anything and Henry said he felt like maybe we only had to pay because he could tell we were dumb ‘mericans BUT I read on a blog that he apparently does ask that a “pay what you can” donation be made to see his collection of vintage Romanian/Hungarian items and, had we been able to understand Romanian, he’d have taken time to give us a brief tour. I think now, in hindsight, that’s what he was attempting to do. Stupid fucking English. I wish we knew more languages. :(

Here’s the man that collected our watermill dues. Honestly, I was happy to contribute to the livelihood of this charming place and to see his collection.

Henry was like, “NO I DON’T THINK SO!!!” when I asked, “Do you think we’re allowed to climb up there?” but then the watermill guy guided me back in later on and made sure that I climbed up there!! I had to wait because there were idiot kids up there with their parents, doing idiot kid things. But then it was my turn and I got to see the water wheel thing from a different vantage and it was cool, especially because Henry didn’t get to go up there and see it for himself so I felt special.

Apparently, this traditional furniture was hand-painted by the watermill guy’s wife. It was all so beautiful!

Has to be haunted.

Corn is corn no matter where you are, I guess.

But no, come on.  Autumnal visuals on lock!

God forbid I end this post without including any pictures of my goofy mug.

One more Rimetea post coming up and then I swear we will move on to…the afternoon of Day 2. I’M SORRY, EVEN VIRTUALLY I AM A FREAKING YAPPER. I have only gotten to talk about this stuff IRL to 4 people: Sue & Margie last week at dinner, and then my therapist and dietician, LOL. So, I have a lot of words to expel!

Sibiu was our first real stop on our Transylvanian roadtrip and it was everything it was cracked up to be! And by that I mean it was just like all of the travel vlogs I watched on YouTube, lol.

Here is a map of Day 1, which shows us flying into Bucharest, staying at the Scala Boutique and then embarking by car to Sibiu. I wish the map was more detailed so you could see the crazy roads that lead us there!

And here are some quick facts about Sibiu:

• pronounced Si-BOO;
• it’s known for its Germanic architecture and most notably, the vents in the roofs look like eyeballs. I LOVED THIS, OBVI;
• it was built by the Saxons in the 12th century so it is super elderly as far as cities go.

I was really stoked to see this place with my own roof-top eyeballs!

Literally the first thing we did after finding a parking spot was go to our very first Luca! I fucked up and ordered something with ham & cheese and realized it before it was even in my hand, so I hurriedly added a pretzel-y thing to the order. I barely even got to taste it though because immediately after this, our guest house host came to get us! We were staying right across from Luca so that was how I found my way back each time, lol.

Dude, you know I’m framing this! Luca is extremely popular in Romania. They are honestly everywhere, sometimes even two on the same block. There are other similar places too – walk-up bakeries/cafes all over the place, you could never go hungry. Snacks abound, and extremely cheap! I think this pretzel thing was like $1 USD.

It was drizzly when we arrived but we had umbrellas and there was no way a little rain was going to hold us back after being in a million airports, planes, and a car for 4 hours that day. If I had to recap our stay in Sibiu, it would be that we literally just strolled about with no major plans, just taking it all in. Our first taste of Romania! I kept saying, “WE ARE IN ROMANIA” to which Henry would say, “Yes, I know.” But at least he wasn’t using his annoying dad tone. I could actually tell that he was excited to be here too and even though we were incredibly exhausted and jet-lagged, we had a really great first day. (If you ignore the fact that I changed out of a skirt into jeans in the parked car because it was raining and at least 15 degrees colder than it was when we left sunny Bucharest, and in doing so, I tweaked my back GOOD. So I spent the whole first day saying things like, “Oh look at that building—OW MY BACK.”)

(Oh, don’t worry – there would be other afflictions as the trip progressed, lol.)

Dude, Romanians LOVE gelato. There were at least 5 different gelato stands in the plaza outside of our guest house. It was insane.

Dude. 👀👀👀👀👀👀

Piata Mare (Big Square) is home to restaurants and the Roman Catholic Parish Church.

We would eat dinner at one of these places later that evening!

We paid a small fee to go to the top of the Council Tower after getting scammed by a man selling magnets for 5 LEI more than another souvenir in another square, which made Henry lecture me about my kneejerk purchases. Can it, Hank.

The lady in the admission booth was on the phone and  I felt like we were interrupting something important, being pesty tourists. Turns out, this would just be the general feeling as we went through the country, lol!

There were rooms along the tower with local artisan wares for sale.

At the top of the tower, there was one other couple but they left soon after we barged in like big clunky Americunts. It was really nice having this space all to ourselves knowing how crowded Sibiu gets during the spring and summer season.

When a city is this (Si)biutiful, not even some raindrops can detract from that. I could have looked out of these windows all damn day.

I don’t want shampoo I used in the hotel in Bucharest but shooooo, did it give me a great hair day! Actually, every day was a great hair day in Romania. I don’t know what was going on over there.

Trying to get the views in the background!

Aerial view of the treacherous steps. Not as scary as the ones in Tallinn, Estonia though!

The Bridge of Lies! Per Wiki because I am lazy:

The Bridge of Lies has many legends surrounding it because of its name. The most popular one has it that the bridge will collapse when someone tells a lie while standing on it.^[1] Another legend says that the bridge was often crossed by merchants who were trying to fool their clients. The ones who were caught were tossed off the bridge. According to another legend, the bridge was a meeting place for boys attending the military academy and their girlfriends. The boys wouldn’t show up, leaving their girlfriends to wait until realizing they have been lied to. One legend also has it that the bridge was often crossed by young lovers who swore each other eternal love. The girls swore that they were virgins, which often turned out to be a lie after the couples got married. As a punishment, they were thrown off the bridge, since it was the place where they had lied to their lovers.^[2] Another legend about the bridge talks about how there may have been a large lake underneath the bridge, in which freshwater mermaids lived. They would lie to their merman husbands to meet their mortal lovers on the bridge above. Then, they would jump off into the lake when finished.

Despite all the legends, its name has a different origin. The bridge was initially called Liegenbrücke, German for lying bridge (lying as in “to lie down”), which sounds very similar to Lügenbrücke, meaning “bridge of lies”. The legends have helped the latter spread among the city’s people, which is how the bridge came to get its current name.

Can I just quickly say that I bought that Vans crossbody mini-bag because it was the perfect size for my vacation journal? That bitchin’ book came with me e v e r y w h e r e, much to Henry’s chagrin. I wrote the ink out of approx. 4 pens in a week, I wish I was exaggerating. Every time we sat down, I was hunched over it, scribbling away. I didn’t want to forget a thing, especially since I knew I wouldn’t be blogging much while there. I am a freak for documenting my life, so sorry if that annoys you. (HENRY.)

Hermannstadt is the German name of Sibiu.

Here, enjoy some more pictures:

I loved the color of this building.

If you ignored the gaggle of cars parked haphazardly all over town, you really did feel like you had stepped back into another time. Obsessed.

This is getting too long so I’ll stop here and come back to tell you about our first taste of traditional food and experiencing a Saturday night mass at one of the churches, by chance. I told Henry it was my favorite part of our time in Sibiu and he mumbled, “It wasn’t mine.” Wow, heathen.

As usual, we had to split Chooch’s move-in across two weekends because it’s just us trying to move his shit in a Kona. You’re not allowed to bring a U-Haul and we don’t have anyone to ask to help so…two trips it is.

Henry had the bright idea of “taking the slow and leisurely way” and stopping in Lancaster on the way. First of all, he still took the turnpike, so I don’t know what the point was of “slow and leisurely.” Everything was fine until we got to Lancaster. We were having a fine morning in the car, listening to the Kpop playlist I made for Lyda, railing against MAGA, talking about G-Dragon. You know, the usual things that parents of a college student talk about it in the car on their way to bring their kid the rest of his underwear, his pillow that he apparently forgot, and other sundry that will probably never be unpacked. (Although, the iced coffee maker did make it out immediately and he was practically hugging it. Priorities.)

Usually, our go-to is Dutch Haven for shoo-fly pie, but I have been following this new-ish place called Lancaster Beignet Co (so much effort went into this naming convention that I am over here mopping my brow just thinking of the exertion) on Instagram since they opened in 2022. We have actually dipped into Lancaster numerous times since then but I always forget about it. This time though, I said it out loud and not just in my head, and that’s all it takes to solidify itineraries around these parts.

We arrived around 11:30, having made pretty good time on the road. With the exception of the times we went to Lancaster for concerts at the Chameleon Club, we have never actually been DOWNTOWN Lancaster. We always just go to the Amish-y outskirts, the weirdly-named towns like INTERCOURSE and BIRD-IN-HAND, you know, those areas.

“Didn’t we go to a quilt shop here once with Jessy?” Henry asked, and I said, “Maybe, but I probably was trying to smother myself with one of the quilts and blacked that memory out.” I loved Jessy but man – we could not be ANY DIFFERENT, lol.

Anyway. We made it and it was just crowded enough to make me annoyed. It was also really small inside with very little seating and the people working there were like cardboard. Not TO BE A KAREN but to me, personality matters. The way someone interacts with me at a cafe or a restaurant is sometimes more memorable than the product. And these people were just like, potatoes. Just stood there blankly until I nudged Henry to order because I think he was waiting for them to initiate the transaction and that was clearly not going to happen.

We got an order of three beignet (the smallest order) and then sat on some glorified balcony overlooking the sidewalk and main street. Henry was mad because the guy sitting at the table next to us refused to scoot his chair in. I don’t know if these were locals or LANCASTER LOLLYGAGGERS but I got an annoying vibe from everyone in general.

And then the beignet were just mid.

Also, pro tip: don’t eat beignet around Henry if you don’t want to be:

• embarrassed
• sprayed with powdered sugar

I had to ask him in a not-nice tone to please CALM DOWN and not eat like a medieval thug tearing into a turkey leg.

I don’t know why I get like this, but this mediocre experience set the tone for the next hour and my emotions went into a free-fall. The prominent feeling was one of pouty annoyance, I would say.

Also, it could be possible that I just really care for beignet? But I was super pissed that I chose  this over shoo-fly pie, that is FOR FUCKING SURE.

But then! While we were sitting on the fake balcony, I spotted a cafe across the street and was glad that we didn’t get drinks at this dumb beignet place because now we had a reason to go here instead and it was A DELIGHT. Like, as soon as we crossed the threshold, a bro behind the counter welcomed us happily and it was so genuine, like he could not WAIT to get a refreshing drink started for us. I was charmed by his enthusiasm and immediately ordered an iced blackberry matcha, which was the seasonal spesh.

But then I got annoyed again because Henry came lumbering over to the counter, all indecisive (he can’t just admit that he doesn’t like coffee). There was a wheel of Pokemon and other Japanese cartoon-inspired drinks so I egged him on to spin it. He fucking spun the wheel right off the pedestal and it went careening down the counter. Ugh, he has to manhandle everything, I swear! He eventually reassembled it and spun it with less toxic masculinity the second time around and ended up getting something that I can’t even remember now. Caramel and something latte BUT HE HATES ESPRESSO.

He was nursing that motherfucker for HOURS.

Also, this was a CBD-inspired cafe so they asked us if we wanted any CBD in our drinks. I said “no” like a normal human, but Henry practically had his fingers on his NARC NARC NARC speed dial button.

My matcha was fantastic.

I had to send this  to Chooch because we have this thing where we accuse Henry of “looking” every time we pass an adult store.

Also, we never knew that there was a market house thingie in Lancaster?? We went in but it was pretty crowded and I got overwhelmed very quickly, also these places are annoying because Henry “just likes to look” and never buys anything ALSO it was adding to my beignet regrets (beigrets?) because there were tons of more appealing treats on display here! U G H. Those fucking beignets. I’m unfollowing their Instagram account. I won’t be fooled again.

Then we left and got in a fight because I wanted to go to some shop but Henry was like THE SIDEWALK IS CLOSED, THEY ARE DOING CONSTRUCTION but you could still access the shop?? So I pointed that out all huffily and he was like “OK then let’s cross the street” but I was too busy storming off and pretending to not hear him calling out, “Hey! Don’t you want to go this store? Hello?”

UM YES I DID BEFORE YOU RUINED  MY LIFE BY MANSPLAINING HOW SIDEWALKS WORK.

So we walked back to the car and he was like THAT’S IT WE ARE LEAVING AND DRIVING STRAIGHT TO PHILLY and I was like FINE GO FUCK YOURSELF ON THE WAY and then he was like PLEASE JUST LET’S GO WALK BACK DOWN THERE SO YOU CAN GO TO THAT SHOP and he was basically crying about it so I said FINE but then we went to a different store instead and it was dumb and I got boxed into a corner by the three very tall men and a middle aged couple who were chatting up the clerk and refused to fucking move. I couldn’t handle it so I fled.

I was about to write off down Lancaster after that but after we got back to the car and barely drove a block on our way our, WE SAW A SWEDISH CANDY STORE. So Henry drove in a large loop back to where we had originally parked so we could walk back to the candy store and my mood was 100% improved.

I already liked salty licorice before our Coaster Crew Norden trip, but being there and eating FRESH, AUTHENTIC SALTY LICORICE changed me. I mean, it at least changed my palate I’ll tell you that much. Sadly, the salty licorice I liked the most was salmiakki from Finland so none of that was to be found at this shop.

They did have this gourmet candied licorice that we actually did buy in Denmark and Sweden but it didn’t taste as luxurious here. I guess it loses something in the import process, but also the kind we had bought over there was a big splurge – it was the “slow crafted” variety which cost more but was SO WORTH IT. I still have the glass jar because it has MEMORIES attached to it now.

Henry got his own bag because he didn’t want his candy rubbing up against my salty licorice hahaha. Also, those Geisha candies are delicious chocolates from this company called Fazer. They had cafes and shops in Finland and we stopped there several times. I had amazing salmiakki ice cream at one on our last night in Helsinki, and we waked to a nearby Fazer cafe every morning we were there and they gave me chocolate with my coffee. I was obsessed and miss that place so much. So, all this did was make me super nostalgic and SICK because I literally ate half the bag on the drive home that night and proceeded to moan and groan in agony like any other outcome was ever an option??

We got Chooch his own bucket of candies too. <3

Then it was Dutch Haven time! A very tall man practically chased me down to and me a plate of two tiny one-bite shoo-fly pie samples, much appreciated. It is the BEST place to get shoo-fly pie. Not that I have had it from very many other places, but I trust Dutch Haven.

Uncle Idiot and his product.

(Can you believe he didn’t buy a bag????) Don’t worry, he got a soft pretzel – just one for him, didn’t even ask me if I wanted one too, so this started another fight after we got back in the car hahaha. Hoo boy was I little bitchin’ Sybil on this day. (Everyday.)

Henry ruined this picture.

(I really thought this sign was coded, like all the red letters spell something on their own but then I lost interest trying to pull EXCEPT MAGA out of it.)

We also bought a full shoo-fly pie for Chooch and his roommates. More on the Philly portion of the day later!

I need to memorialize this because ISTG, every time we are on our way home from eastern PA/NY, we can never find anywhere to stop and eat that is open or has veg options. But I found this Parisian-themed creperie in a small town called Hollidaysburg and it had an acai bowl in addition to a wide array of other vegetarian fare, so…that’s where we went. Whether Henry liked it or not.

I loved the vibe of this joint! Modern goth soundtracked by quirky and traditional Parisian tunes.

I felt rushed taking this picture because Idiot Henry was behind me.

I mean, come on, you guys. This place was so cool and such an ERK-approved vibe.

There’s also an outdoor patio which is where everyone else was sitting but  can I just say that I am crying UNCLE on allowing the summer sun to beat down on me? Our coaster roadtrip really took a toll on me and as such, I was happy to sit in the desolate upstairs dining room, alone and in the A/C.

Henry said the restroom was “basic” but I thought it was whimsical and charming.

AND THIS NUTELLA ACAI BOWL! It was exactly what I was craving. It is so easy to eat like shit when you’re on the road but this felt equal parts nutritious and decadent. Henry had a veggie crepe and that was also delicious! It was honestly tough to choose between this bowl and something savory for sure, but I also wanted something cold.

We had a really nice lunch, dissecting the Enhypen concert and me basically reminding Henry every two seconds that he is annoying and him mistaking it for FLIRTING.

Having been in the car all day, I had almost no steps and suggested that we take a post-lunch constitutional walk. I had never been to Hollidaysburg before, that I know of anyway, and wanted to scope it out.

I approved of this quaint alley.

I made Henry walk all the way to an intersection because I saw what appeared to be a small bridge which indicated that there may be WATER beneath it. It took us entirely too long to cross the street because Hollidaysburg hates pedestrians, it seems, only to find that it was just a dinky creek. Lol.

Aside from the one section where I almost died from a stench that was either HOBO BODY ODOR or MEAT, we had a nice little stroll. Hopefully this place still exists the next time we’re in yhe vicinity looking for non-gas station food.