I’ve decided that I’m going to do community service.
Maybe read (my stories) to the blind. Take a group of retarded people bowling. Egg abortion protestors. Have sex with inmates. I just know that there’s some greater good I need to be doing. I can feel it in my heart.
IN MY HEART.
And then I’m hoping to recruit some of my charity cases into the army I’m assembling. This army will be trampling police officers, knocking over parking meters, and sticking gum on church doors. I also want to do some shit with knives, too.
Oh shit and I also want my army to moonlight as a hardcore cover band, with me as the lead screamer. We’ll play at pool parties and pet funerals.
I have lots of energy to burn.