Dec 282019

My favorite thing about hosting shit at my house is that we (we = Henry, mostly, but I do stuff too!) REALLY CLEAN THE HOUSE. And then sometimes it will stay like that for a few days afterward! So by Saturday afternoon, I was less stressed about entertaining and more preoccupied with basking in the niceness of this shanty.

Chooch’s friend Hoajie came! This was good because sometimes Chooch starts to get annoyed being around so many adults, especially if they’re not paying attention to him. I don’t know where he gets that from.

Trudy was ready to meet new people!

We were still putting food out even after people started showing up and I was mad because I always like the table to be IN FINAL FORM. Henry made a big Christmas tree spinach crescent roll thing which eventually went on that Christmas tree tray and then straight into Chooch’s and Hoajie’s stomaches.

Ugh, those Rice Krispies treats were a fucking bitch. Chooch was supposed to help me make them but he ditched me that day for the Teen Center so then Henry had to take over after I started crying out of frustration because I didn’t know where to start, lol. Anyway, you just essentially replace marshmallows with white chocolate. Then you have to make a form out of parchment paper and I was like, “HENRY” so he basically did the whole thing but I decorated they were refrigerated, so he can’t take all the credit.

Aaaaaand….no one ate them. I made Janna take some home and we pawned some off on Blake the next day. Then I took one to work for Margie and she was like THIS IS SO GOOD and I was like YES I KEPT TELLING YOU PEOPLE ON SATURDAY!!!

But seriously: GAME CHANGER.

Jiyong brought a selection of mini jeon (Korean savory pancakes)!!  I was like, “Here you can just set this down on my lap” but ultimately I allowed her to put it on the table for everyone to enjoy. They’re: sweet potato, shrimp, chives, kimichi and corn. SO GOOD.

Janna was late of course, which made me turn to Jiyong and say, “This is why I wasn’t concerned when you said you were going to be late, because I knew that Janna would still be even later” and I think that made her feel better since it was her first time in my house DID I MENTION THAT YET. I was so nervous to invite her because our friendship is still in the blossoming stages and I don’t want to scare her off, and I especially don’t want her to think I’m some raging Koreaboo.

“Well, you kind of are,” Henry said, but luckily I feel there is so much shit in my house (clowns, weird art, horror movie memorabilia, THE CURE) that it really just makes me look like I’m some eclectic collector of junk.

Anyway, back to Janna being late. She texted me earlier and asked if Chooch could come out and help her carry her stuff in and then she also texted Chooch as well and guess who went out to help her – NO ONE OOPS. I forgot all about it and I guess Chooch did too because around 8pm, there was what appeared to be an audible struggle on the other side of the front door and then in stumbled Janna, arms full of fig-and-brie bread, spinach dip, and a huge ass jug of wine.

She was like, “Thanks, Chooch.” Hahaha.

That La Croix can really jacks up the aesthetic of this table.

We’re an anti-La Croix family but Wendy loves it so Henry made sure to bring some home from work for her. This is how I found out that JANNA ALSO LIKES IT?! I’m triggered. I saw this tweet last year and I have never resonated so much with anything on the Internet ISTFG:

That is the realest, right there.

“It’s like a special treat,” Janna said, sipping on her PAMPLEMOUSSE oh my god Janna I don’t even know you anymore.

Chooch coerced everyone to play Likewise and one of the categories was “gross drink” or something and literally everyone wrote LA CROIX on their paddles, even Wendy, who sadly said, “I disagree with this but knew everyone else would write it and I wanted the point.”

Wendy, Shawn, and Summer! That’s not a real mouse under the wheelchair, by the way. It’s one of the dozens of toy mouses the cats leave strewn about the house, the only indication that we even had any cats since they’re like STRANGER DANGER whenever people are here.

We were talking about G-Dragon at one point and Shawn was like, “wtf is a G-Dragon” so even Wendy was like, “OMG YOU DON’T KNOW” and I started gushing about him and then the subject of Korean military service came up and you could tell Wendy was getting her duct tape ready in case Shawn started going off the rails and embarrassed her in front of Jiyong, but I think it was a good conversation about Korean culture that really made Jiyong feel more included. This was her first American party and I give her so much credit for coming to it! Her English is great but I worried that she would feel left out.

She wasn’t scared away by Trudy (in fact, she wanted to be sure that Trudy was in our picture)! I’m really glad she met some of my friends because I would love to take our weekly meetings beyond just sitting in a cafe and me struggling to learn Korean, lol. It would be cool to invite her along when Janna and I go to, I dunno, the Mattress Factory or something. And then we can get Janna to start watching Korean dramas and start a club.

Ugh, Janna had just polished off a can of La Croix and then I had to stand this close to her.

Janna has the new iPhone 11 and Chooch is obsessed with it, fine, I am too.

Margie and me, standing uncomfortably. Margie brought several dozens of Christmas cookies baked by her uber-talented daughter (baker of the G-Dragon cookies!) and Chooch kept raving about how the peanut butter blossoms were the best he’s ever had and GUESS WHO DID NOT GET TO TRY ANY OH YEAH THIS GIRL RIGHT HERE.

We made everyone try faux-kielbasa and they were like, “Mmmm.”

Janna stayed for a few hours after everyone else left and Chooch and I were soooo hyper.

I used Janna’s phone to take pictures of my still-clean house because I was obsessed. I wish it could always look this dreamy! HENRY MAKE IT SO.

I dunno what Chooch is doing here.

The dopiest. (Henry was so tired, lol.)

I love that Janna looks like she’s in a hostage situation here.

Blake stopped by when he got from work at 11! I was SO PISSED AT CHOOCH because his ONLY JOB was to invite Blake and Haley AND HE TOLD THEM THE PARTY WAS SUNDAY. So then the morning of the actual party, Chooch was talking to Blake and was like, “Are you still coming to the party tonight?” and Blake was like, “I have to work. I thought it was tomorrow?!” so HE NEVER REQUESTED THE NIGHT OFF WORK. THANKS CHOOCH.

Janna’s like, “Can I have my phone back yet, or…?”

I forced Blake to partake in the hot chocolate bar. He was impressed.

This is my signature pose.

Anyway, we ended the night with me trying to make Janna watch this hot chocolate bar DIY YouTube video that I like to heckle while Chooch was trying to talk to her about the Holocaust at the same time and she seemed very torn and also like she was maybe about to snap. We almost broke her, you guys. My house is so manic.

Overall, it was a good night. Keeping it small and casual helped me to not have a full-blown anxiety attack but I still had some real strange vibes following me the next day. I gotta work on kicking this social rut. I miss the old Erin who packed her house with people. Maybe I’ll have some sort of themed party later this winter and expand the guest list. Another gross vintage food party, maybe!?

Say it don't spray it.

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