Jul 162019

All I can think about is the fact that we leave NEXT TUESDAY for our vacation and I am having such a hard time focusing on anything else, including blogging. Also, the last two nights I have had the worst sleeps and I think it’s because I’m so excited/wired/nervous about this trip that my nerves are firing on all cylinders. I can’t wait!!

But in  the meantime, here are some things going on here in Pittsburgh which is not as great as Seoul but it’ll do.

  • I had another meet-up with Jiyong on Saturday, this time at the Cathedral of Learning. I thought it would be a cool locale because it has a bunch of Nationality Rooms (Korea included) and she’s never been there before. I love taking people here (we took Maya and Scott when they were here a few years ago because I love sharing those Harry Potter vibes with my friends!) and I thought it would be cool to do our “studying” there too and I say that loosely because Jiyong is really good at English and needs very little help from me, while I sound like a fucking Hooked on Phonics candidate. She is so patient with me though and gives me tips on how to say things more naturally in spite of what the textbooks teach and I appreciate that greatly! She said I’m doing great but if I’m not mistaken, the tone she used was the same one I used when potty-training Chooch and he shit his pants.
    • She did have to quickly make throat-cutting motions at one point though when I thought I was saying the word “shoe” but my pronunciation was so jacked that it sound more like the word for “fuck” so that was a good learning moment.
    • Meanwhile, Jiyong asked if it was possible to go to the top of the Cathedral and I was like, “YOU BETCHA, I DIDN’T GO TO PITT AND NOT LEARN ALL THE TRICKS OF THE CATHE—-oh shit” because they changed the elevators so now instead of just pushing an up or down arrow, there are there electronic pads where you have to enter the floor number you want and guess what—I didn’t know it! So there was a young guy waiting for an elevator across from us and even though Jiyong was like, “No it’s OK” I was like “I AM GETTING YOU TO THE TOP OF THIS DAMN TOWER” so I asked the guy if it was still accessible and he said he was actually going there so we could hitch a ride with him! Inside the elevator, he asked if we’d ever been to the top before and I said, “Yes, I went to school here back when the elevators were, you know, regular.” He just chuckled and nodded but in his head he was probably like, “Cool story granny.” But success – Jiyong got to look out the windows and thankfully she didn’t ask me questions about the city and the directions of things.

  • I mentioned in an earlier post that Chooch abandoned me on Friday and went camping with the teen center. Well, he apparently didn’t get much sleep because he came home with the worst post-camping attitude ever and we started fighting immediately which pissed me off because it’s EXACTLY what Henry predicted and I hate when he’s right! Anyway, Chooch passed out super early that evening and then was back to his old, affectionate self the next morning. (I mean…)

  • Rare picture of the cats interacting. My mom is going to be watching them for us while we’re gone and I’m really relieved about that because they are super sensitive and I think it will help them to have someone actually hanging out with them and not just coming over to feed them, but that’s a lot to ask of someone to be honest. Luckily, my mom is a super-animal person and I think she is also looking forward to watching our Netflix which is fine by me – I just hope she doesn’t start any While You Were Out home improvement projects like she did one time when Henry and I were away for a few days a long time ago, but then she never came back to finish! Haha. I had to warn her not to park in the driveway for any extended amount of time, lest she start the War of Pioneer Avenue with our neighbor who apparently owns the driveway which is news to me because I HAVE LIVED THERE THE LONGEST but whatever, I’m not bitter about that or anyth—GIVEMEBACKMYTHRONE.
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  • You guys know how I always joke that I have a Mexican taco cart boyfriend in the neighborhood? Well in all seriousness, he genuinely is someone that Chooch and I say hello to every time we walk past the Mexican market down the street because he is out there 99% of the time, griddlin’ up some tacos for all the locals and hipsters who come from 10 towns over because tacos are on trend. Anyway, HE HAS NOT BEEN THERE IN TWO WEEKS and I’m not trying to be in poor taste here, I am genuinely concerned for him what with the way our piece of shit government is handling migrants. Henry said he could very well have gone back on his own because his visa expired but I just feel so concerned. :( Henry said he should be fine if he has a sponsor and I was like “if he doesn’t, can I be his sponsor?” And Henry was like “Um you have to own a business that employs him” SO THEN HE CAN MAKE MY SERIAL KILLER CARDS! Problem solved!
    • ICE can go fuck themselves. How do they sleep at night!?
  • The firm I work for is finally loosening up a little and adopting a “dress for your day” policy where we can wear “smart” (lol) jeans and office-appropriate shirts and shoes if we’re not going to be interacting with clients or outsiders or whatever and for most of the people in my department that means EVERYDAY can potentially be jeans day. It started today so I happily wore jeans but as soon as I got inside the office, Marlene blew her imaginary whistle and yelled at me for wearing tennis shoes. “Marlene, I just got in! I will change them at my desk!” I cried. Jesus! Then I noticed that neither she nor Carrie were wearing jeans. Then I continued down the hall and checked Margie and Lauren – ALSO NOT WEARING JEANS. But then I got to Glenn and I knew he wouldn’t let me down – totally wearing jeans and not giving a shit about it.
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    WHEW. Turns out, there were very few of us who actually took up the new sparkly offer to wear jeans, which is weird because I thought everyone liked wearing jeans to work!? Later that afternoon, I was walking past Sue’s office when she called me in to excitedly talk to me about how I leave next week and she said she was really stoked to hear all about G-Dragon’s pension, etc. So then I was walking back  to my desk and Marlene stopped me. “Was Sue talking to you about your jeans?” she whispered. “No!” I cried. “We were talking about my vacation, god, Marlene!” She like REALLY WANTED me to get in trouble for breaking wardrobe laws today, lol. My jeans were ok! I don’t know if they’d be considered “smart” because they can’t like, call home or order a pizza, but they were clean and not ripped or frayed.

  • I started watching Big Little Lies on Sunday because there were no new episodes of Divorce on and I try to watch at least one American television program at a time so that there’s at least something that regular people can find relatable about me. Anyway, WOW – I just started season two tonight which should tell you a lot about how much I like it because I’m not a big binge-watcher. And I will say that it has really made me appreciate Henry so much more. That Perry motherfucker was driving me crazy in the first few episodes until I finally realized it’s because he reminds me EXACTLY of this guy on the trolley who I refuse to sit with even if the seat next to him is the only empty one because he is so fucking polished and manicured with his tailored suits, perfectly-gelled hair that is for sure cut twice a week, and Italian leather shoes and man purse. I not-so-jokingly call him American Psycho because I’m certain he kills people on weekends. Twice now I’ve heard him making spa treatment appointments during the ride to work!? Anyway, maybe I should change his name to Trolley Perry.
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    This morning I sent Henry a video of me walking behind him out of the T station with no caption and Henry immediately asked, “American Psycho?” But really, who’s the psycho now, amirite.


I think that’s all for now. I started doing Jillian Michaels’ Body Revolution again and tonight I made it to Level 12, the final level, and I am FUCKING BEAT. That series is no joke but so worth it. I never would have been able to do this a few years ago!

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