Ever since Tina came back to night shift, she has, as I’ve previously mentioned, been the proverbial dingleberry to Eleanore’s ass. They are absolutely inseparable, which is confusingly funny to me considering the amount of bitching and moaning Eleanore did upon discovery of Tina’s eventual return.
Last Friday, Tina was mad at Kim; a lingering anger from the fight the two of them had the night before. (Basically, it all stemmed from Tina having Know-It-All Syndrome which comes with that nasty side effect of Must-Have-Last-Word — which I hear really leaves a nasty coating on your tongue and makes you sound like you’re coughing up phlegm every time you laugh — and Kim telling her she can’t stand her.) Knowing that we were all supposed to order Chinese food together, Tina brought in her own, and was ever so kind enough to bring Eleanore some too. Fuck, she sucks on Eleanore’s ass so hard it makes you wonder if she gurgles with her shit, too. But for real Tina: way to stick it to Kim. God forbid Kim and I had to order food all by ourselves. I bet Kim couldn’t tell if her food just had too much soy sauce on it or if she was eating the tears she had shed from being excluded from the cool club.
A few moments ago, we all had to go outside and move our cars to the valet area because people are surveying the lot. I walked back in with Kim and Tina and we bumped into Eleanore, who was talking to another employee. Kim, growing impatient of holding the door for Tina, turned and said, “Aren’t you coming?” Seeing that Tina had fallen back and firmly lodged herself inside Eleanore’s asshole, Kim answered her own question. “Oh I forgot, you have to hold Eleanore’s hand.”
It’s the proudest I’ve ever been of my boss.